The Big Suey: The Cowboys, The Coffee Table, and The Weekend Observations

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz Episode Title: The Big Suey: The Cowboys, The Coffee Table, and The Weekend Observations
Release Date: November 25, 2024

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I. Celebrating 20 Years and Stugotz's Book Launch

The episode kicks off with Dan Le Batard and Mike Ryan celebrating two decades of the show, highlighting the enduring popularity of Stugotz's segments. Dan emphasizes the significance of Stugotz's upcoming book release:

Dan Le Batard [02:48]: "This book is a real thing and Stugotz wants it to be a New York Times bestseller. And we want it to be a New York Times bestseller."

Stugotz expresses heartfelt gratitude towards Dan, contributors, and the loyal audience for the overwhelming pre-orders and support:

Mike Ryan [02:57]: "I am super grateful to Dan Stantick because if not for him, this book doesn't get done."

The hosts collectively acknowledge the collaborative effort behind the book, setting the stage for its official launch the following day. This segment underscores the strong camaraderie and mutual support within the show's team.

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II. Deep Dive into "The Coffee Table" Movie

The conversation shifts to discussing a disturbing Spanish-language film titled "The Coffee Table." Stugotz shares his unsettling viewing experience, highlighting the movie's intense and provocative nature:

Stugotz [07:06]: "I had to stop watching the coffee table because of what it was making me feel. It's a great movie. It's a great premise for a movie. It's also highly disturbing and could be triggering for those in our audience."

Dan, intrigued yet apprehensive, questions the group's awareness of the film's premise:

Dan Le Batard [10:51]: "I can't believe that none of us have heard of it. And I can't believe that all of us are staring at you."

Despite the discomfort it caused, the hosts express curiosity and a desire to understand the film's impact better. The discussion delves into the psychological effects of intense cinema and the importance of content warnings for sensitive topics.

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III. The Big Suey: Weekend Sports Observations

The core of the episode revolves around "The Big Suey," where Dan, Mike, and Stugotz dissect the latest sports happenings with their signature humor and insight.

A. NFL Highlights and Critiques

Dan unleashes his frustration regarding the Dallas Cowboys' recent performance, particularly criticizing McCarthy's decision-making and the team's defensive lapses:

Dan Le Batard [05:20]: "But yesterday, as McLaurin is running down the field when he's got 11 Cowboys in coverage and they've got no timeouts... I would have run on the field and fired McCarthy before McLaurin got into the end zone."

Mike echoes Dan's sentiments, adding his own critiques about the Cowboys' gameplay:

Mike Ryan [06:29]: "I would have fired him for winning. I mean, it's a bad win."

Their spirited debate highlights deep-seated frustrations with coaching strategies and team management, reflecting a passionate engagement with NFL dynamics.

B. College Football Shenanigans

The hosts transition to college football, examining the tumultuous state of the sport. Mike lauds the resurgence of the book industry through Stugotz's book, drawing parallels to the evolving landscape of college football:

Mike Ryan [19:28]: "Just don't put the book on a coffee table. I never want to hear about a coffee table again. Ever."

Dan brings attention to the complexities introduced by high-stakes recruitment and financial influences in college football:

Dan Le Batard [40:02]: "If boosters think they can actually buy themselves into this game... they can throw $12 million at that."

Stugotz adds a critical perspective on the sustainability and ethics of such strategies, suggesting regulatory changes and a return to more traditional approaches.

C. Intriguing Upsets and Team Performances

The discussion highlights noteworthy upsets, such as Indiana's unexpected playoff qualifications and the Florida Gators' potential quarterback acquisitions:

Mike Ryan [22:00]: "Indiana played their way out of the playoffs and the SEC play them back in. It's crazy what happened."

Dan reflects on team performances, emphasizing the unpredictability and excitement that such outcomes bring to the sport:

Dan Le Batard [23:12]: "They start the day in, then they were out, and then they were back in. What a day for Indiana."

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IV. Humorous Banter and Light-Hearted Moments

Interspersed with serious analysis, the hosts engage in playful and humorous exchanges, showcasing their chemistry and wit.

A. The Snot Rocket Phenomenon

A running joke about "snot rockets" on golf courses serves as a comedic relief amidst intense sports talk:

Mike Ryan [32:23]: "Crazy. I can't resist a good snot rocket on a golf course."

Stugotz and Dan join in the laughter, with Dan likening it to a Bloody Mary, adding to the playful atmosphere.

B. Quirky Player and Coach Names

Mike takes a creative turn, humorously renaming basketball players with Jewish-themed monikers:

Mike Ryan [28:08]: "Number one, Chris Bashishana."

This segment underscores the hosts' penchant for blending humor with sports commentary, keeping the conversation lively and engaging.

C. Electric Bikes and Safety Concerns

A brief detour into the topic of electric bikes sees the hosts advocating for traditional biking over modern electric alternatives:

Mike Ryan [36:23]: "Do yourselves a favor. Go to the bike store, buy a Huffy, okay? And then ride the bike. How about that?"

Dan echoes the sentiment, emphasizing safety and the importance of physical exercise, while Stugotz adds his thoughts on company bike brands.

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V. Concluding Thoughts and Looking Forward

As the episode winds down, the hosts revisit the excitement surrounding Stugotz's book launch, reiterating their support and anticipation for its success:

Stugotz [22:27]: "Stu gods book.com it's happening, people. It's happening."

Dan and Mike reaffirm their commitment to celebrating milestones and continuing to deliver engaging content to their loyal audience.

The episode concludes on a high note, blending insightful sports analysis with humor and heartfelt appreciation for the show's two-decade journey.

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Notable Quotes:

• Dan Le Batard [05:20]: "But yesterday, as McLaurin is running down the field when he's got 11 Cowboys in coverage and they've got no timeouts... I would have run on the field and fired McCarthy before McLaurin got into the end zone."

• Mike Ryan [28:08]: "Number one, Chris Bashishana."

• Stugotz [07:06]: "I had to stop watching the coffee table because of what it was making me feel. It's a great movie. It's a great premise for a movie. It's also highly disturbing and could be triggering for those in our audience."

• Dan Le Batard [40:02]: "If boosters think they can actually buy themselves into this game... they can throw $12 million at that."

• Mike Ryan [36:23]: "Do yourselves a favor. Go to the bike store, buy a Huffy, okay? And then ride the bike. How about that?"

---

Key Takeaways:

• Celebration of Longevity: The show's 20th anniversary celebrates enduring success and strong team dynamics.

• Book Launch Excitement: Stugotz's upcoming book is a significant milestone, garnering strong pre-order support and anticipation.

• Critical Sports Analysis: The hosts provide candid critiques of NFL coaching decisions and dissect the evolving challenges in college football, emphasizing the impact of financial influences.

• Humor and Camaraderie: Playful banter and humorous segments enhance the listening experience, highlighting the hosts' chemistry.

• Concern for Content Sensitivity: The discussion around "The Coffee Table" movie underscores the importance of sensitive content warnings and thoughtful media consumption.

This episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz masterfully blends serious sports commentary with humor and personal reflections, offering listeners a comprehensive and entertaining overview of recent sports events and behind-the-scenes stories.

Transcript

[Dan Le Batard]

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[Stugotz]

You just have to manage dozens of channels, launch hundreds of campaigns, score thousands of leads and okay, fine, it's a lot of sweat. Unless you have HubSpot's AI powered marketing tools to help you do all that and more. Get [e-mail] marketers.

[Mike Ryan]

Welcome to the Big Sui presented by DraftKings.

[Dan Le Batard]

Why are you listening to this show.

[Mike Ryan]

The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Le Batard podcast? I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

[Dan Le Batard]

I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys.

[Mike Ryan]

I've done it. And now here's the Marching man to Nowhere Fat Face and the Habitual Liar.

[Dan Le Batard]

As we celebrate 20 ridiculous years together, I will tell you that I do not believe that Stugotts has any segment that is more popular. Do I have this wrong in 20 years than weekend observations? Like your most popular segment is either that or wake and take, right?

[Mike Ryan]

I think it was that wake and take. Or maybe the restaurant reservations, which I'm actually planning on doing one coming up here soon because it's anniversary time, Dan.

[Dan Le Batard]

Nice. Okay, well, we are going to celebrate Stugotts here in a moment with what is his most featured bit. And I will say that tomorrow is a giant day in our history and I don't want to just skip past it because we've been talking about it for a while. This book is a real thing and Stugatz wants it to be a New York Times bestseller. And we want it to be a New York Times bestseller. And it launches tomorrow. Like the preorders are crazy already. All sorts of gifts to the people who have gotten in early. But this thing is happening. I've seen the book. It exists. And tomorrow it's no longer a broken promise. It's not a lie anymore. This is a very real thing. Stugatz, beginning tomorrow, is going to officially be a published author. Most of the material is borrowed from his author friends.

[Mike Ryan]

Not most of it, just about all of it. Yeah, I would say 99.5% of it.

[Dan Le Batard]

Regardless, the book is going to come out tomorrow and we're going to celebrate that tomorrow in a big way.

[Mike Ryan]

I am super grateful to Dan Stantick because if not for him, this book doesn't get done. So I am grateful to him, all the people that contributed to this book and all the people on social media. I was moved over the weekend to see how many listeners actually purchased the book. So I thank you very, very much. Tomorrow is going to be a very exciting day.

[Dan Le Batard]

What just happened there?

[Mike Ryan]

I don't know. I got caught up in the air. I have weekend observations coming up. There's a lot going on in my head right now. I had a stroke, all that stuff there. So listen, I just want to say 20th year I was moved over the weekend. It was nice. It was a relaxing weekend. The jets weren't playing. I watched former jets perform and excel all over the NFL. Sam Darnold, Geno Smith, just to name a few. And I really had some time to reflect on the last 20 years and what this audience means to me. And this audience means everything to me. So thank you.

[Dan Le Batard]

It is very cool. Billy doesn't seem to believe you at all. He seems to be skeptical back there about whether the not at all.

[Mike Ryan]

He always is.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, well, that's true. Before we get to weekend observations, I will say I don't know that I've had a bigger surprise all year anywhere in my life than Stu Gotch showing up for that Flanagan's thing.

[Mike Ryan]

So he does the same about you.

[Dan Le Batard]

He does genuinely appreciate, you know, the expectations for us are different. I arrive after the first quarter. Dan, where were you? You're late. Stugotts arrives at all. Giant celebration throughout the parking lot. The expectations are different. You figured it out, buddy. Like you have set them low. Dan, you have the game played by perfectly because tell me I was not the only one. You guys have had a big. Give me a bigger surprise that you guys have had. Mike's experience with the coffee table yp1.

[Stugotz]

No surprises match that the movie the Coffee Table. If Anthony Jeseltnik tells you I found this movie to be a laugh riot and I smile the entire way, that should be a pretty big red flag, right, Dan?

[Mike Ryan]

But I've been telling you because Billy and I have been making the tour around The United States. We've gone to Kansas City. We've gone to Chicago, Arizona. I went to Detroit. Ish. And I am telling you, the outpouring from the fans during our 20th year is something you need to experience. And I'm glad you had the chance to do so last week. That's why I went. I wanted to talk to our fans. Our fans have been great to us and loyal to us for 20 years.

[Dan Le Batard]

So tomorrow we're going to ask for more of that loyalty as Stugatz tries to butter you up before we get to weekend observations. Would anyone have had any objection? Because I would have done this. I'm not saying that I'm better than Jerry Jones about anything when it comes to how it is you get publicity for your vehicle. But yesterday, as McLaurin is running down the field when he's got 11 Cowboys in coverage and they've got no timeouts, if I were Jerry Jones, I would have run on the field and fired McCarthy before McLaurin got into the end zone. I would have made sure that I announced to the press before he ran those last 50 yards. McCarthy is fired. Right now, I don't care that they won the game during the return. You can. You cannot have that happen at the end of a football game when the other team has no timeouts and they have to go 80 yards. That does not ever happen in professional football.

[Mike Ryan]

When McLaurin turns around, there should be 19 Cowboy defenders there ready to grieve.

[Dan Le Batard]

We have 11 guys in coverage. I don't understand how he ran untouched for 80 yards.

[Mike Ryan]

That's a 0. 0 score, first quarter.

[Dan Le Batard]

It needs to be. It needs to be the last play of your career. That's it. You can't work for me anymore. It can't be that. What the Washington commanders did is their best player threw it to their second best player and he ran 80 yards untouched. No. No. Fired.

[Mike Ryan]

Leave.

[Dan Le Batard]

Don't pick up your things. I'll throw them on the front of yard. Get out of here. Never to work again. I prefer to never see you again.

[Mike Ryan]

Why are you.

[Dan Le Batard]

I know. I know Our families are friends. I know. We. We all love each other. You leave the facility and I never want to see you again.

[Mike Ryan]

But you're the owner and you're going to his house and you're taking his clothes and you're throwing them on the front door.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, I threw all his coaching things out of his office. But yes, if he had done that, I would have not convicted Jerry Jones for personally doing that as well. You can't it's a big surprise that that player threw it to that player.

[Mike Ryan]

I would have fired him for winning. I mean, it's a bad win.

[Stugotz]

Nothing can prepare you for the turn this movie takes.

[Dan Le Batard]

Nothing.

[Stugotz]

Nothing. Nothing. It needs a trigger warning just to talk about the synopsis.

[Dan Le Batard]

So you saw a movie recommended. Look, Mike, you have a lot of things going, and you do not put things at the front of the list for your consumption. You just watched the Coffee Table, the movie, because Anthony Jeselnik thought it was a laugh riot.

[Stugotz]

It was on my list. I saw like, all These aggregated top 10 lists, top 10 horror suspense movies of the last few years. And the Coffee Table was always talked about, but I always found it curious the way that people spoke about it, because they're like, we can't tell you what happens in this movie. And I understand it. Even though it's very much the central plotline, people don't want to talk about the central plotline in the movie. And I understand because it's unlike anything you've ever seen in a movie. I had to, for the first time in my life, stop a movie, not because I was tired, but because I needed to give myself a break from the tension that was building in this film. It's an unbelievable film, but you should look into it if you've had certain things happen in your life and see if you even want to give this thing a. There's a pretty big spoiler if you Google what this movie is about. If you're in, trust me, that's just the tip of the ice.

[Dan Le Batard]

All right, we'll continue to talk around this, but there's only one time in my life that this has ever happened to me during a movie where I had to turn it off. And I'm like, and it's not Midsommar or one of those. There are plenty of disgusting movies I have seen. It was Ryan Reynolds spent the entire thing buried in a coffin, alive, trying to get out. And it became so claustrophobic to me that I had to turn it off. I couldn't continue to watch what I was watching. You're saying this thing has such disturbing material. It's not claustrophobia. Such disturbing material that you, who takes an Anthony Jeselnik recommendation when he's dark comedy, and he's telling you this is a laugh riot, and he's telling you that this is going to be super strange, you immediately go listen to it and couldn't watch it. Had to stop.

[Stugotz]

I watched three movies yesterday. Well, two and a half. I watched Gladiator 2. I watched Wicked, and to end my night, I started watching the coffee table.

[Mike Ryan]

Huh.

[Stugotz]

And I had to stop watching the coffee table because of what it was making me feel. It's a great movie. It's a great premise for a movie. It's also highly disturbing and could be triggering for those in our audience. If you want, I can tell you in your ear what this movie is about and you will, I think, react.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, I can't believe that none of us have heard of it. And I can't believe that all of us are staring at you. And there isn't even a curiosity that I can see among the group of, like, tell me more about what this premise is because you've got me curious now that you don't even feel comfortable talking about it because you're not squeamish. So, like, you go in. What was that. What was that Saltburn movie that you were talking about?

[Mike Ryan]

That movie was great.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay. But that's got some plot twists in it.

[Stugotz]

That's got discomfort. This is uncomfortable. This is not overly gory. It's what you don't see that really stays with you. It's about the situation that this married couple, this couple finds itself in. And the reason why you haven't heard of it is because it's a Spanish language film. This is one that's getting around by word of mouth. And everybody pretty much has the same reaction to the central plotline of this film, which is really rough. Really rough.

[Mike Ryan]

So what are you proposing? Saying it into our ears and we decide from there.

[Stugotz]

Here, I'll tell you in your ear and you tell me if you have any interest.

[Mike Ryan]

Don't spoil it, though.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, come over here. I'll whisper it. I'll go over there.

[Mike Ryan]

Okay. Yeah, come here.

[Dan Le Batard]

All right. In the interim, we will get to the weekend observations in a moment.

[Billy]

Love a game of telephone.

[Dan Le Batard]

Billy, are you interested at all in this movie? Because Mike's. He's taking the recommendation. Anthony Jeselnik. It's been a very popular south beach session. People appreciate his brand of comedy, and he's got a following that is unusually loyal. And he's one of the legends in the game. And so the south beach session has been very popular. Mike Ryan watched it, which he never does, at least in part, because he loves Jeselnik so much. And the people who follow Jeselnik, he's got a giant cult following of loyalists that's uncommon for comedy because they always find him telling the truth away from comedy.

[Billy]

I've been meaning to ask You. And it's probably better to ask you off air, but we're here now. When you interviewed David Allen Greer, how did you not laugh because he was dressed like a train conductor?

[Dan Le Batard]

You thought I should have just laughed.

[Billy]

I just. I walked by a tv and I was like, what is going on right now? Because, like, it wasn't just, like, the overalls. There was like a kerchief around his neck as well, right? Like, what was going on there?

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't know.

[Billy]

You didn't ask? You weren't curious?

[Dan Le Batard]

What would you have asked?

[Billy]

You know, how was the train ride over here? Something like that? Like what? What do you ask? I was taken aback back.

[Dan Le Batard]

I asked him an hour's worth of questions about an assortment of.

[Billy]

None of which related.

[Dan Le Batard]

None of them was about trains. None of them was about kerchiefs.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm just watching Mike tell Stugotts this movie, and Stugotts is, like, shaking his head like, I am. I don't want to see this.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

I want nothing to do with this movie. I mean, watching Stu gods get that information was hilarious. Nope. Nope.

[Billy]

Do you know what it is, Dan?

[Dan Le Batard]

No, I do not.

[Billy]

You don't want to see. You tell Dan in his ear.

[Mike Ryan]

Can I ask a question? I know nothing about it. Is it kid related?

[Billy]

Ooh, Hot Cold game. I love this.

[Mike Ryan]

Listen, it's. I don't want to see it related, okay?

[Billy]

It's bad stuff with a kid.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm out. It's. No one wants to see this. Nobody. In fact, Mike probably regrets watching it in the first place.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, he hasn't watched all of it. He had to turn.

[Mike Ryan]

Why would you.

[Stugotz]

I'm going to finish.

[Mike Ryan]

No, you won't.

[Dan Le Batard]

None of you have seen Buried by with Ryan Reynolds. None of you.

[Mike Ryan]

Buried a lot.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't think that people go to movies to feel bad. I would say I like to go to movies to just feel or like to watch movies to just feel. But I don't think that most people want to feel bad watching a movie.

[Stugotz]

I think when the plot gets going in this film, you would rather actually be buried alive than vicariously live through this situation that this couple.

[Dan Le Batard]

All right, put the train conductor on the screen right now. There it is, Billy. Now look at it. Are you happy, Billy? Are you happy? There you go.

[Billy]

I'm just saying it never came up.

[Dan Le Batard]

It never came up. I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything about his overalls or his kerchief.

[Billy]

Was he promoting his new doctor show because, like, he should have gotten scrubs.

[Dan Le Batard]

He was produ. He was promoting his new doctor show. He did not come in scrubs. That's what he came in.

[Billy]

That would have made more sense. A lab coat, anything.

[Chris Cody]

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[Mike Ryan]

At T Mobile I'm joined by a special co anchor.

[Billy]

What up everybody?

[Mike Ryan]

It's your boy big Snoop Dogg.

[Dan Le Batard]

Snoop.

[Mike Ryan]

If people are looking for great deals this season, where should they go? Head to T mobile.com and get four iPhone 16s with Apple Intelligence on us plus four lines for 25 bucks. That's quite a deal Snoop. Not to mention AT T Mobile you.

[Dan Le Batard]

Can save on every plan versus the other big guys.

[Mike Ryan]

Respect not drop that joke.

[Chris Cody]

See how you can save on wireless.

[Stugotz]

And streaming versus the other big guys.

[Dan Le Batard]

@T mobile.com/apple intelligence available now.

[Stugotz]

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[Mike Ryan]

Don LeBatard, Bob Kraft. The only reason your organization is good is because of Bill Belichick.

[Dan Le Batard]

Stugats.

[Mike Ryan]

Belichick has done nothing since since Brady left. He made the playoffs once. I think at the very least he should not be a first ballot hall of famer. They should make him wait like 10 years to get in. He's an overrated coach.

[Dan Le Batard]

This is the Don Levatar show with the Stugats. Let's do Stugatz's weekend observations.

[Mike Ryan]

Don't see the movie, Dan.

[Dan Le Batard]

This time for Stugats to share his game notes. No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy Stu.

[Mike Ryan]

I got to be honest, I'm not certain I could do him. I'm rattled.

[Dan Le Batard]

Not the greatest judgment by us to rattle Stugots right before his featured segment. Not great producing.

[Mike Ryan]

I mean what Mike whispered in my ear, that should never be whispered in anyone's ear.

[Dan Le Batard]

I mean not great producing.

[Mike Ryan]

Wow.

[Dan Le Batard]

I needed somebody. Let me ask you a question, Chris Cody, executive producer. Should we table this for coffee? Table this for a second so that Stu got could gather himself. He these take work. This. This takes an effort. He's performing. It's the mo. It's the most expectations he has with the segment. Do we need to stand down for a second and continue the show because we have left him in disarray?

[Mike Ryan]

I say we pushed through Weekend observations brought to you by Miller Light. Great taste. Just 96 calories available for delivery. Man, tough day, Dan. The last decade or so has been difficult on the book industry. Really, if I'm being honest, and I never am, the last decade or so has been tough on the written word in general. But Dan, this week. This week there is hope. Because Dan, if I could do it, anyone could do it. My name is on the COVID of a book that was written by Dan Stanzik and published by Random House. And man, are they selling like crazy. And Dan, just like that. Make no mistake about it.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes.

[Mike Ryan]

For the first time ever here on Weekend Observations, books are back.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes. Stugatz book.com it has happened. It is going to happen some more in 24 hours.

[Mike Ryan]

Just don't put the book on a coffee table. I never want to hear about a coffee table again. Ever.

[Dan Le Batard]

Now I'm more curious. Now I want to watch it.

[Mike Ryan]

Don't be.

[Dan Le Batard]

I want to watch it more than I wanted to watch it when Jesel.

[Mike Ryan]

Nick recommended I love a good helmet.

[Dan Le Batard]

Sticker put on the pole Juju at Lebitar show. Do you love a good helmet sticker?

[Mike Ryan]

Dan? You know what the S. I'm sorry? You know what the C&SEC stands for?

[Dan Le Batard]

I do not.

[Mike Ryan]

I was thinking coffee table, but that's all you're thinking. Chaos.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes, it is a bit of chaos.

[Mike Ryan]

It stands for chaos.

[Dan Le Batard]

It is. There is going to be a seven loss SEC team in the. In the playoffs.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. Who does Harvard and Yale think they are calling their game the game? I mean, it's not the game. It's the game that no one cares about. The audacity.

[Dan Le Batard]

You're saying that Harvard and Yale might be arrogant? No, that they would think their game is the only game.

[Mike Ryan]

I forgot it was no rattle coffee.

[Dan Le Batard]

No. Pablo does plenty of annoying things. Telling people how often he went to an Ivy League score. School is high among them.

[Mike Ryan]

Night game in Tempe. Tricky Dan, you know what the T in Tempe stands for?

[Dan Le Batard]

Tricky.

[Mike Ryan]

Good guess, but no. I understand why you would guess that. But it stands for tough place to play when they're good.

[Dan Le Batard]

You really. You already said a. You set a trap for me. And I went right into it.

[Mike Ryan]

Yep. Reminder. The New York Giants picked Daniel Jones over Saquon Barkley. Bo Nix tried to tell you, Dan. You starting to believe.

[Dan Le Batard]

Did you try to tell us?

[Mike Ryan]

I did.

[Dan Le Batard]

You did?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay.

[Mike Ryan]

You believing?

[Dan Le Batard]

What are they, 7 and 5?

[Mike Ryan]

Yep. Wild card team.

[Dan Le Batard]

I will tell you something that came over me yesterday that I was surprised by watching the end of that game. Oh, I trust Bo Knicks more than I do muu.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Mu's a veteran and I trust a rookie more than I trust. I was surprised by that. I was surprised. It swept over me during Raiders Broncos.

[Mike Ryan]

You can't spell. Miss the playoffs. Without the Miss in Mississippi.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's a bad loss.

[Mike Ryan]

Terrible loss. Don't look now, but the Florida Gators may have found themselves a quarterback.

[Dan Le Batard]

Mike Ryan. Look at Mike Ryan got his backup. When I said I was a bad loss. It's the best, best win on Miami's entire schedule. Is that Florida? When it keeps getting better? It keeps getting better over the last month.

[Stugotz]

Not so easy to go in as a ranked team into the swamp, huh? Okay, well. But it happened in September. It doesn't count, right?

[Mike Ryan]

Dan Stanzik using my idea, my takes, my name and my relationships, which are really Dan's relationships, to write a book. Stanzik, I'm proud of you. And this Stu Gotz is strong in you.

[Dan Le Batard]

Stugottsbook.com it's happening, people. It's happening.

[Mike Ryan]

Indiana played their way out of the playoffs and the SEC play them back in. It's crazy what happened.

[Dan Le Batard]

That is what happened.

[Mike Ryan]

Yes. They started the day in, then they were out, and then they were back in. What a day for Indiana.

[Dan Le Batard]

Are you guys with me at all on the fact that I would have liked to have seen those two special teams touchdowns? I'd like to have seen a different game from Indiana. I think people are going to dismiss them too easily.

[Mike Ryan]

Dan, you can't spell in the playoffs without the in in Indiana. Are we sure C.J. stroud is good?

[Dan Le Batard]

He's getting sacked a lot.

[Mike Ryan]

He's throwing a lot of bad interceptions, too.

[Dan Le Batard]

He's getting sacked a lot. I think those two things go together.

[Mike Ryan]

I mean, maybe he's got Nico back.

[Dan Le Batard]

Maybe. I think those things go together.

[Mike Ryan]

I think.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think your game gets a lot worse. He wasn't hit all that much the first season. It was weird.

[Mike Ryan]

It might be time to stop asking if something's off in Kansas City and start asking if something is brewing in Carolina.

[Dan Le Batard]

No. Come on.

[Mike Ryan]

I got a feeling they're turning things around. How about that?

[Dan Le Batard]

You got a Thielen?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. See what I did there? Panthers, Best loss by any team this season and maybe ever.

[Stugotz]

That actually gets him in the cfp.

[Mike Ryan]

Bryce Young has been upgraded from a pulse to a heartbeat.

[Dan Le Batard]

What?

[Mike Ryan]

Bryce Young might be good, man.

[Dan Le Batard]

Come on.

[Mike Ryan]

That's a. Dan, I'm telling you, what happened yesterday is your court. It's the perfect scenario for Carolina. Yesterday you hung with Kansas City. You didn't win the game. You don't want to win the game. Bryce Young left too much time for Patrick Mahomes. But that's okay because you didn't want to win the game. And Maybe you have a quarterback. I am. That's a productive day for Carolina.

[Stugotz]

What's above a heartbeat in this situation?

[Mike Ryan]

I don't know.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's a good question, Roy. I don't know why you laugh so much, but I don't.

[Stugotz]

I. I've never heard that before.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's an asinine thing to say. Put it on the poll, please. At LeBatard show, did Bryce Young go from pulse to heartbeat?

[Mike Ryan]

I feel better about my bet.

[Dan Le Batard]

If you have a pulse. Don't you have a heartbeat?

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. You like this one? What happened there?

[Dan Le Batard]

If you have a pulse, you have a heartbeat.

[Mike Ryan]

Correct?

[Dan Le Batard]

Correct. If you. If you have a heartbeat, you have a pulse.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, but I mean, pulses can be tricky and deceiving. They can be. It depends on the pulse.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't think you actually upgraded anything there. I think Bryce Young is still in the same state that he was in before.

[Mike Ryan]

You're right.

[Dan Le Batard]

So are the Panthers. Everything is the same as a rattle coffee table. Nothing has changed just because the. They played Kansas City. Close as everyone has.

[Mike Ryan]

You haven't heard about the coffee table yet.

[Stugotz]

All right.

[Mike Ryan]

I mean, cut me some slack.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay, Fair enough.

[Mike Ryan]

All right. I feel better about my bet. If my team gets the ball at halftime. If my team gets the ball to start the game, it might as well be a loss. Rip up the tickets.

[Dan Le Batard]

You're afraid of the first possession second. I wish I could. Totally.

[Mike Ryan]

I wish I could make bets after the coin toss.

[Dan Le Batard]

Put it on the poll, please. Juju at Levit show. Do you wish you could make bets after the coin toss?

[Mike Ryan]

Technically, you can be. You got to be quick. Deion Sanders said we lost because we didn't play Colorado football. No, Dion, you lost because you played Colorado football. Finally, someone talking about Deion Sanders. All it took was a loss.

[Dan Le Batard]

Mike, did you pick Kansas?

[Stugotz]

Put the town on alert. Oh, yeah. Third straight double unit. Put the town on alert. Rock Chalk man, I'm locked into that team.

[Dan Le Batard]

Mike was telling you all week. He was warning. He was shouting it from the mountains. Yeah, Look, Kansas has been playing better lately. Can't just go on the road and win college football games anymore.

[Mike Ryan]

Yep.

[Stugotz]

Did you see that Kansas had a punter that was celebrating Senior Day? He's from Australia. His parents flew 21 hours to watch him, and they didn't punt.

[Mike Ryan]

Wow, that's unfortunate. Saying a manager got sacked is so much better than saying a coach got fired. It is.

[Dan Le Batard]

It is. You know, they sacked him. Not. What is that, though? It. How does that originate? Is it someone placing A sack over somebody originates.

[Stugotz]

Mr. Walk in from. I've heard it in the UK it's always like, around originates. And anytime someone's losing a bad game, you'll hear the crowd sing sacked in the morning.

[Dan Le Batard]

The thing I'm asking you, does it mean taking someone out in a sack? Is that what it means?

[Stugotz]

I would assume that, right? Yeah. I don't think it means Max Crosby is getting Jose Mourinho out.

[Dan Le Batard]

Like, you move. You move things in a sack, you clean out an office. Is that okay? I'm sorry to ask so many questions.

[Stugotz]

That's how it originates.

[Mike Ryan]

In honor of the top Jewish quarterback names, the top five basketball player names, if they were Jewish.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[Mike Ryan]

Oli Victor Wembanyamaka. That's so good. Number five, Corey Hebrewer. Number four, lebronica James. Number three, Joe Mezuzah. Number two, Shabbat Napier.

[Dan Le Batard]

Bravo.

[Mike Ryan]

And number one, Chris Bashishana.

[Stugotz]

I saw an orthodox Jew plays for Texas A and M. What? Yeah. I think he's believed to be the first in college football history. He can only actually play. There was only one game he could actually suit up for and play in as a walk on.

[Mike Ryan]

Yes. If you're orthodox, you shut off every. You can't do anything the entire weekend, essentially. Hmm.

[Stugotz]

Sam Sols.

[Mike Ryan]

Interesting. Do it against Alabama used to mean something. Dallas Cowboys, bad win. I figured it out. The Alabama thing, it used to mean something. Doing it against Nick Saban. Now you're doing it against Calyn DeBoer. It's a big difference. Big one.

[Dan Le Batard]

I mean, Oklahoma's bad, Correct?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

A bad football, not mediocre football team. Oklahoma's bad.

[Mike Ryan]

Mm.

[Stugotz]

Just their second conference win and they blow out Alabama.

[Dan Le Batard]

They win by 17 points. Points.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Alabama can't do anything offensively.

[Stugotz]

Every single team that someone would have ventured to say is the best team in the SEC outside of Georgia lost an embarrassing passion.

[Mike Ryan]

Every loss in the SEC should count as a quality loss.

[Stugotz]

No, that was a bad one against Obama.

[Mike Ryan]

Dude, I know you guys were talking about Kansas. If there was a national championship for the team who plays the best spoiler this year, it would go to Kansas. Fair. Maybe Florida. But Kansas, they live to play spoiler. Florida, they don't want to play spoiler. They want to be spoiled.

[Billy]

There was talk as Billy Napier being coach of the year this weekend.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, knock it off.

[Mike Ryan]

He should be.

[Billy]

I think Kirk Herbstreet said it.

[Mike Ryan]

He held the team together. I mean, they didn't quit on him.

[Dan Le Batard]

So wait a minute. We were going from talking about his buyout four games in. Come on. That's okay. We're going to fast forward all of the employment status that way that you go from what's the buyout four games in to coach of the year, five games later.

[Mike Ryan]

Hmm, interesting. Billy Napier should win coach of the Year. People are talking about it.

[Billy]

Lsu, Ole Miss. I mean, they're clicking at the right time.

[Mike Ryan]

Ole Miss, the playoffs.

[Dan Le Batard]

You are sunshine today, Billy. You are a voice.

[Billy]

I'm trying, man.

[Dan Le Batard]

You're a voice of positivity today.

[Mike Ryan]

If we got rid of kickers, would anyone be that upset?

[Dan Le Batard]

Got rid of them? Like in a purge?

[Mike Ryan]

Well, no, they could still live.

[Dan Le Batard]

I mean, okay, yes, just eliminate them.

[Mike Ryan]

Just the position.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Why are you killing all the kickers? I said get rid of them from the sport.

[Dan Le Batard]

Get rid. He didn't say from the sport. He said get rid of them. Like, dispose of them.

[Mike Ryan]

You could take Arizona State out of the PAC 12, but you can't take the PAC 12 out of Arizona State. Mo Salah. If I look like that, I'd also take my shirt off when I scored a goal. Holy cow. Mo Salah. Jackson Dart was going to end that game with an interception and would not be denied.

[Stugotz]

It looked like that, yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Usc, ucla. Classic Big Ten matchup. College football's weird.

[Dan Le Batard]

I do love how screwed it up. It is. It's so good. It is so good that any weekend you're watching is just like, yeah, everybody can lose. Yeah, just everybody can lose.

[Mike Ryan]

Crazy. I can't resist a good snot rocket on a golf course. I mean, golf courses are like heaven for snot rockets. Right.

[Stugotz]

I mean, there's very few things that get you right more than a snot rocket. Like, it's immediate.

[Mike Ryan]

Put it on.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's like a Bloody Mary at lerd show. Our golf course is heaven for a snot rocket.

[Mike Ryan]

Top five things I can't resist. Number five, the Dolphins is heavy favorites at home against a bad team. Get to it. Number four, a goof parlay.

[Dan Le Batard]

So wait, the Dolphins are what the Chiefs used to be, where you just. You. You still believe in their offense enough that you will never. You will never trust getting points against.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. Against the bad team, though, right?

[Dan Le Batard]

Against the bad ones.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. Your hope is they do what they did. Yeah. Yesterday. That's.

[Dan Le Batard]

What is the goof parlay. You've told us before.

[Mike Ryan]

It's just a wacky parlay, you know, a couple of different teams and over catches, you know, something just, you know, like a $10 parlay that wins you, like, $10,000 that's never going to come in if.

[Stugotz]

If I'm loading up my betting slate for the day and I have $10 left on my account. That $10 is going to be in a parlay that would pay me out approximately $34,000.

[Mike Ryan]

Today's going to be my day.

[Dan Le Batard]

So you got to go 16 and.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, something like that.

[Stugotz]

Something like that.

[Mike Ryan]

Number three, ripping James Franklin. Number two.

[Dan Le Batard]

What's happened there? That's. That's over the last 12 months. Did you just. You lost Harbaugh because Harbaugh won a championship, and you just needed to go and find somebody. Like what? Yeah. You turned on James Franklin from one day to the next, and you've been crushing him for 12 months.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. What happened was Harbaugh won a national championship and then he left.

[Dan Le Batard]

So you needed to pivot. Okay. You didn't want to go after Day. No. I mean, he wins too much. He. He's. Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm nervous for Day, though, right now. I am. I'm nervous for Saturday already for Ryan Day, because they play Michigan in the game. That's the real game. So I'm nervous for Ryan Day. But, no, I just. James Franklin's my guy. It's him or Lincoln Riley, blah, blah, blah. Number two, a good NBA two team teaser. Can't resist it. And number one, a good book. St. Got book dot com. Here come the Flames. They're good. Keep an eye on them. If the committee said they weren't putting Georgia in the playoff based solely on the fact that they were trailing seven, nothing to UMass, I'd be okay with it. The Minute Man, Rick Patina. Congratulations to Mike Norvell for not having to add another L to his last name. 11 seasons and still no playoff appearances for Jackson Dart. I think it's just me. I feel like the guy's been around forever.

[Dan Le Batard]

I did love, during the, UM game, Mark Jones saying his ninth year of eligibility. Just hearing that phrase is so good.

[Mike Ryan]

Weird time. I love a golf ball with a cool logo on it. Yeah. Kids riding around on one of those electric bikes. Got news for you. You're not riding a bike. Electric bikes. Do me a favor. Enough kids riding around on those electric bikes. Do yourselves a favor. Go exercise. Thanks. I mean, Jesus, what are we teaching these kids? Electric bikes. Ride a bike. Spokes and ride a bike.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's a good point.

[Mike Ryan]

Thank you.

[Dan Le Batard]

Stugott is dead.

[Mike Ryan]

Get a Schwinn.

[Dan Le Batard]

I mean, Stugotts is dead on on this mongoose. There. There are more. There must be so many more. Hospital visits now because people are riding around on these motorcycle bikes thinking that they're exercising.

[Mike Ryan]

Do yourself a favor. Go to the bike store, buy a Huffy, okay? And then ride the bike. How about that? Electric bikes.

[Dan Le Batard]

Huffy. How's it, Roy? Can you look up for me how Huffy's doing these days? Because he's great year last year.

[Stugotz]

He just.

[Dan Le Batard]

He just summoned a brand from the 1980s that I'm. I'm not sure is still around. I haven't heard Huffy in a long time, Roy.

[Mike Ryan]

They had their best year. Best year sales year ever last year. Check it out. Bikes.com. i was just there. I was there over the weekend because I was thinking about electric bikes and how they're doing in sales. They're not doing that great, but Huffy had a year last year. But I think they make electric bikes. That's the thing.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think you're just lying.

[Mike Ryan]

I totally.

[Dan Le Batard]

Roy, find it. Find Huffy for me and tell me how they're doing.

[Billy]

Huffy does make electric bikes.

[Mike Ryan]

Now what are we teaching these kids? Ride a bike. CJ Stroud. The Dan Orlofsky is strong in you, Dan. You know what the S in CJ Stroud stands for?

[Dan Le Batard]

Safety.

[Mike Ryan]

Sophomore slump. I know it sounds crazy, but the Titans somehow overcame their own quarterback to beat the Texans.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, that's exactly what happened. It doesn't sound crazy. That's the Will Levitt's experience, baby.

[Mike Ryan]

Players on Notre Dame do it at the Army, Boston College, the rare college football program whose floor will always be six wins and their ceiling will always be seven wins. No team covers a spread in the fourth quarter quite like Miami. Dan. You know what Ohio State did on Saturday?

[Dan Le Batard]

Took care of business.

[Mike Ryan]

No, they did. But they also reminded everyone that they were Ohio State and that Indiana was still Indiana.

[Dan Le Batard]

That is what they did.

[Mike Ryan]

That was the best witching hour of all time. Sorry, Dan.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, that's okay. That's exactly what they did, though. You nailed that one. That's exactly what happened.

[Mike Ryan]

Wow. We agree on an observation. How about that witching hour? Best one of all time.

[Dan Le Batard]

I. I'm good.

[Mike Ryan]

The games didn't mean anything, but it was awesome.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm going to say it again. All right, for those of you who did not hear me earlier, me, Chris and ST Are like, no reason to watch these games. And then There's Momes. For 33 yards running again to say their 101 season, the Bears tie it on an onside kick. The Titans have just beaten the Texans. We didn't see that coming. And the Cowboys and Commanders are scoring four touchdowns in three minutes, including that. That turbo turbine spin move from a video game, which is who's crazy enough that you're a sociopath you're to turn your back to charging people on a kickoff.

[Mike Ryan]

Daniel Jones, San Francisco 49ers. Collision course. Sidney Crosby scored his 600th career goal. Sid the kid. Sorry, Roy. Roy.

[Stugotz]

He got in a fight.

[Mike Ryan]

It was worth noting. Roy. I mean.

[Dan Le Batard]

Terrible.

[Stugotz]

Sid got in a fight. He dropped the gloves.

[Mike Ryan]

Yep.

[Stugotz]

Wasn't. It wasn't great, but he dropped the gloves.

[Mike Ryan]

Mm.

[Stugotz]

He used to get in one fight a year. Now it's like one fight every two seasons.

[Mike Ryan]

Right. Respect, though. I mean, no. The number one recruit in the country reportedly got $12 million to commit to Michigan. Hell happened to college football. Speaking of hell. Or Briles. Dan, those are the weekend observations.

[Dan Le Batard]

Was Tom Brady involved with that recruitment at Michigan? I saw some reports.

[Stugotz]

A lot of people were apparently involved in that. It's a bold strategy. That's a lot of money for a high school kid.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, but that's where this is going to keep going if you make it. No salary cap, free market. Hey, do you want to get good at college football? That was fun when we won the championship and we were. We had Connor Stallions and Jim Harbaugh and everything else. 12 million gets us back into that game. Okay, that's worth it.

[Mike Ryan]

But I think Mike is right. That is a bold strategy. I'd rather see the kid play first, like what the Canes did with Cam Ward. I'd rather know he's going to be good than guess if he's going to be.

[Stugotz]

I think you could look at what Tennessee did in that they paid their quarterback a lot of money with the hope that he would be there for four years. And you realize that if Tennessee maybe changed their approach and got like a Dylan Gabriel or a Cam Ward, Tennessee is probably national championship.

[Dan Le Batard]

Good. If I may just real quick, because I love this part of it and I understand that we're galloping on like that. The sport keeps growing and there are rules, but we're kind of throwing everything we used to do out and doing it differently now. You do understand that if boosters think they can actually buy themselves into this game, there's no keeping this part of it down. Like, this is anybody who wants to get in the game who wants a quarterback? Portnoy and Tom Brady want Michigan to feel like they did two years ago. They can throw $12 million at that. It doesn't cost them. It doesn't cost those people anything.

[Stugotz]

Well, two things will change it. Number one, people will realize that's a lot of money for an 18 year old and it gets in the way of building out a team and it's probably not the best way to spend money. I would prefer keeping my powder drive for the portal and taking something a little bit more proven, but that'll work itself out. Number two is the NCAA is going to get its way. They are going to get safe harbor status. And so the election kind of almost cemented that stu Godzilla when you're hiring.

[Mike Ryan]

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