The Big Suey: The Devil Knows More (feat. Tom Segura)

Summary

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The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Episode: The Big Suey: The Devil Knows More (feat. Tom Segura)
Date: January 15, 2026
Main Guests: Tom Segura (Comedian, Author, Podcaster)
Setting: Live from the Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami

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Episode Overview

This episode delivers the usual Dan Le Batard Show blend: rapid-fire irreverence, mock-therapy and introspection about Miami fandom, college football mania, and a vibrant comedy detour with Tom Segura. Broadcasting from their Miami hub, the crew dives deep into the local-versus-national perception of Miami sports, the communal and familial complexities of rooting for the Hurricanes, and what it means to be embraced or rejected by your city. Tom Segura adds layers with comedic insights, stories about running into NFL legends, and a hilarious Spanish-idioms game.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Miami Hurricanes Fandom and Identity Crisis

• Mike Ryan’s Miami Problem: The crew pokes at Mike Ryan, challenging his “Indifference” and lack of homerism for the Miami Hurricanes ahead of a monumental game against Indiana.

  • Peer Pressure on Mike Ryan (08:06–13:00, 16:42–18:32): Stugotz and Dan urge Mike to "put on for your city" and embrace being a local sports homer, paralleling his support for the Miami Heat.
    • "You need to be that guy again for this town." – Stugotz (11:40)
  • The Emotional Toll: Mike Ryan reflects on the emotional and financial investments and the shifting nature of the fan base's expectations. The burden of being at the center of Miami sports coverage is explored.

• Familial and Cultural Ties:

  • Stugotz tells a story about his dad wanting tickets only for the "scene," not genuine fandom, as Miami's Cuban community gets swept up in the Fernando Mendoza storyline.
    • "The Mendoza thing has gotten the older Cubans crazy. They love this guy more than they love their own town." – Stugotz (06:52)

2. The Indiana Cinderella Narrative and America's Team

• Indiana as Underdog:

  • Tom Segura highlights the unprecedented nature of Indiana's run to the national championship, calling them "the craziest Cinderella story we've ever seen" (24:34–26:29).
    • "Indiana is not supposed to be in the national championship game in football. This is the craziest thing I’ve seen." – Tom Segura (25:29)

• Perception of Miami Outside Miami:

  • The group discusses national animosity toward Miami, challenging Rich Eisen’s claim that “Miami is America’s Team.”
    • "Most people. Most people hate you guys." – Tom Segura (26:10)

• Miami's Swag, Cultural Bias, and Racism in Sports:

  • Dan and Tom discuss how historical and cultural perceptions (including racism) shape how the nation sees Miami football.
    • "There’s a lot of white people that are still hanging on to, like, ‘Oh, just enter our country the right way.’ And you should get shot if you don’t... They associate that with Miami." – Tom Segura (28:22)

3. Tom Segura on Comedy, Fame, and Humiliation

• Navigating Fame and Social Media (40:45–42:26):

  • Tom reflects on his and his peers’ massive growth, the dangers of reading too much praise or criticism online, and staying healthy minded as a performer.
    • "You realize you really shouldn’t be digesting either side of it too much." – Tom Segura

• Humbling NFL Injury Story (31:48–34:53):

  • Tom describes being “roasted” by NFL pros for sharing a high school football injury story at dinner.
    • "My brain was like, I think you just, you’re about to get lit up by these guys... And they’re like, ‘how’d you get injured? Were you like falling down the stairs?’" – Tom Segura (33:20)

• Garth Brooks Grudge Rumor (38:42–40:08):

  • A bizarre tale: Garth Brooks reportedly has a video of Tom’s injury and refers to it as “karma,” a result of a long-running internet joke at Garth’s expense.
    • "He sometimes looks at the video of me tearing my patellar tendon...and goes, 'karma, karma right here.'" – Tom Segura (39:26)

4. Miami Sports Community Dynamics

• The “Everyone Hates Miami” Narrative:
  • The crew leans into being the “bad guys," noting Miami is happiest when playing the heel:
    • "You embrace the fact usually people hate you." – Tom Segura (26:19)
    • "The entire world is against Miami? How did I not know this?" – Dan Le Batard (26:52)
• Mascot is a Hall of Famer:
  • Celebration of Michael Irvin as Miami’s ultimate “mascot” — a symbol of the program’s unique identity.
    • "Miami is the only team in the history of college football that has as its mascot an NFL Hall of Famer." – Mike Ryan (29:44)

5. Tom Segura’s Relationship to Miami and Language

• Peruvian Roots and Family Podcast:

  • Tom discusses hosting a podcast with his mother, a “crazy Latin mother," highlighting the humor (and challenges) of sharing authentic Latin family dynamics on air (42:41–44:39).
    • "She’s the most difficult human being I’ve ever met in my entire life... She is funny. She is an exaggerator. She’s dramatic. She’s Latina, you know, so she is who she is." – Tom Segura

• Spanish Idioms Game:

  • The team plays “Refrán del Día” (“Idiom of the Day”)—Tony challenges Tom with “Más sabe el diablo por viejo que por diablo” (“The devil knows more because he’s old than because he’s the devil”).
    • "The devil knows more for being old than for being the devil." – Tom Segura nails it instantly (46:35)
  • Debate ensues as Dan and Mike struggle to grasp the idiom’s nuance while Tom and Tony defend its use.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Mike Ryan’s inner conflict:
  • "I don't think I have it in me. Oh, I think it's too big an ask." – Mike Ryan (18:29)
• Stugotz on Miami fandom:
  • "You put on for your city. And you don’t mind being called a homer because you’re like, you're goddamn right." (10:41)
• Tom Segura on Indiana’s run:
  • "This is the craziest Cinderella story we’ve ever seen." (25:29)
• On the world rooting against Miami:
  • "Most people hate you guys. Most people, yes." – Tom Segura (25:57)
• On Michael Irvin’s energy:
  • "He’s like, I’m built different... That guy is—there’s no ‘no’ in him." – Tom Segura (29:11)
• On multi-cultural idioms:
  • "The devil knows more for being old than for being the devil." – Tom Segura (46:35)
  • "That’s a phrase that's said to somebody who's older… he's been around longer.” – Tony (47:10)

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Noteworthy Segments with Timestamps

• Fernando Mendoza’s "weakness": Lactose intolerance joke and how this could be game-altering (01:53–02:33)
• Stugotz's Dad and the generational Cuban fan experience: (05:15–07:15)
• Pressuring Mike Ryan to embrace Miami homerism: (08:06–13:00, 16:42–18:32)
• Tom Segura joins and contextualizes the Indiana Cinderella story: (22:43–26:56)
• Perceptions of Miami, racism, and rooting narratives: (26:10–28:46)
• Michael Irvin stories and his “mascot” role: (28:49–30:16)
• Tom Segura’s comedy career—navigating fame and family: (31:48–34:53, 40:45–44:39)
• "Refrán del Día" - The Devil Knows More: Tony and Tom’s rapid-fire idiom game (45:01–47:23)

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Tone & Style

The episode is consistently playful, self-deprecating, and whip-smart, alternating between pointed commentary about college football narratives and wide-ranging comic anecdote. The conversation—especially with Tom Segura—is breezy, personal, and occasionally raucous, with plenty of inside jokes and affectionate ribbing.

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Summary

This episode encapsulates why the Le Batard Show stands out: blending Miami’s unique sports soul with open discussions about culture, identity, and humor. Tom Segura’s guest stint offers deep laughs, honest reflection on fame, and connection to both Miami and the Latin world. The banter oscillates from the agony of fandom to the joy of communal celebration, peppered with authentic and absurd moments alike. Whether you’re a die-hard Miami fan or just here for great comedy, this episode is a vibrant snapshot of sport, culture, and the art of not taking oneself too seriously.

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Transcript

[Dan Le Batard]

Folks, I'm getting hungry. And you know my favorite part of any meal, snack, or game day app? That's right, the goat. Or should I say the greatest of all time, Frank's Red Hot. It's got the perfect blend of flavor and heat that elevates all foods from wings to Buffalo chicken dip to even ice cream. That's right, I said ice cream. And with a roster of flavors from OG to sweet chili, you can put that on everything. So make every dish the greatest and eat the goat.

[Mike Ryan]

Welcome to the Big Sui presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBatard podcast?

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm sorry.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys.

[Tom Segura]

I've done it.

[Mike Ryan]

And now here's the marching man to Nowhere Fat Face and the habitual liar.

[Dan Le Batard]

This episode of the Dan Lebatard show is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings.

[Stugats]

The Crown is yours as a proper.

[Mike Ryan]

Network and whatever it is that remains of espn, deport this. I did not understand what Jeremy was shouting about sources close to Mendoza. I heard you guys. Like all of a sudden this is a newsroom and. And. And Jeremy is shouting sources close to Mendoza. As I continue to interview his high school coach as if he's Cuban, even though his name is David Dunn.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, I have a plugged in source close to Fernando Mendoza. Man, your shirt is bullshit again.

[Tom Segura]

What?

[Dan Le Batard]

That says the Hoosiers are flipping champs.

[Stugats]

So I said, they are.

[Tom Segura]

They are.

[Mike Ryan]

They are hard. They're undefeated. I'm this show's anti Miami, and all it is we do for several days is say, how is this point spread? Keep climbing. I want to. Glory to God.

[Dan Le Batard]

But I do have a source close to Fernando Mendoza that has given me some information that actually is probably going to help the hurricanes. So, Mike, if. If you guys want to talk about this on Kane, Kane's Insight, it turns out Fernando Mendoza is lactose intolerant.

[Stugats]

Oh, no.

[Dan Le Batard]

So if you're looking for a weakness, all you have to do is get some dairy in that diet. When you're looking at the. At the Gatorade that's on the sidelines, maybe sprinkle a little of like powder of some kind. When he's going to get some coffee, you get rid of that almond creamer. You put some whole milk Dan Whole milk with a W. I don't know. If you know that there's a W in whole milk, you make sure that happens. And you're gonna have. You're gonna have your way with Fernando Mendoza. He's gonna go to Tamiac city.

[Stugats]

You got it. You got what he did there, Dan? I broke it to my cane's chat 30 deep that I just clued you in on Cane's fans hating you and that it's almost like you don't know about consequences. A record nine HAHAs in 30 seconds.

[Dan Le Batard]

Did you let them know that Fernando's lactose intolerant? Because that might be really big information for 9Hahas.

[Stugats]

If they want to make an impact, 30 seconds do their part.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's a ratio.

[Tom Segura]

That is.

[Dan Le Batard]

Time to look in the mirror, Dan.

[Stugats]

You know about that ratio.

[Mike Ryan]

Clearly. What is happening around here? I'm not joking when I tell you, color me stunned. As I said, guilty.

[Stugats]

Up to 12 HAHAs.

[Mike Ryan]

This has never happened to me. I don't think there's been a case of this ever happening. And the Miami fan base, I suppose, will enjoy seeing me strip naked in front of you all this way. Like, obviously yesterday it would go. Yeah, you saw it yesterday. I would do anything for this program as long as it's winning all of its games.

[Dan Le Batard]

I can't believe I didn't get a happens to know for that information. That's good stuff. None of you have that information. You're right, journalism.

[Mike Ryan]

You're right that they could poison, legitimately poison Mendoza with a little bit of milk. If Soy milk.

[Dan Le Batard]

If someone were to sneak it in.

[Stugats]

Put some cheese on his chicken nuggets.

[Mike Ryan]

Just get the soy out of there, Give him whole milk. And you're going to have a quarterback who's got the stomach rumbles. You can't play this game with the hotel.

[Dan Le Batard]

You cannot play against Reuben Bain if you've got a tummy ache. What hotel they staying at?

[Stugats]

Let's. Let's do this. I feel like you've just endangered a kid.

[Mike Ryan]

Let's not do this, all right?

[Tony]

Let's not do.

[Stugats]

My dad will never forgive me if we hurt Mendoza.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, that's the thing. My mother won't either. My fault. My mom is rooting for Mendoza. I'm like, how could you?

[Dan Le Batard]

It's lactose intolerant.

[Mike Ryan]

Don't you know what it is that this school has done for us? Tummy ache, Papa. You'd never be on television without it. How could you go for Mendoza?

[Stugats]

So my dad, as I've mentioned, is Totally in on this storyline. And he FaceTimed me yesterday, and this is one of the rare times that I didn't ignore it, and I answered it, even though I didn't want.

[Dan Le Batard]

Now he FaceTimed you.

[Stugats]

Yeah, yeah. Does that. In the hopes to see my daughter, but she wasn't there, so it was just me laying on the couch with Roma, and I still somehow answered it. Usually I just, like, answer and immediately shove it in my daughter's house. How do you answer it? Hey, dad. And then, you know, I always felt.

[Tom Segura]

Like, that level of enthusiasm.

[Stugats]

Yeah, that level of enthusiasm. My dad does this thing occasionally I have to explain it to him. I'm like, I spend the entire day talking about sports, and the last person I want to talk sports with is my dad, just because I don't respect him, and. Or sports opinions, for that matter.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, you could have left out the. You could have left out the first part and just left it.

[Stugats]

I love my dad. He's a great Abu. Anyways, he asked me for a ticket to the game.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, no.

[Dan Le Batard]

He probably heard you say you had 12.

[Stugats]

No, he didn't. He doesn't actually support what I do, but he loves saying that he's my dad, which is cool.

[Mike Ryan]

Same relationship I have with the University of Miami.

[Stugats]

And I'm like, dad, respectfully. And I did say respectfully, even though I was still at the time. Yeah. I want the seat to go to someone that actually cares about the Miami hurricane.

[Dan Le Batard]

The dance.

[Stugats]

And my dad doesn't care about the Miami hurricanes. He cares about the scene. He wants to be there because of the whole Cuban storyline. He's been so in on Mendoza, and it seems like he'd be rooting for Indiana. He would be. He told me. He's like, man, it's just. Fernando's gone through so much adversity that I really want this for Fernando. And I'm like, dad, you don't want this for me. I've been sacrificing a lot of time, money, and effort here trying to get to this point. You don't you. He's like, I really want them to finish the story. I'm like, what is their story? This is their story. They didn't matter. Hurting your son. Yeah, they didn't matter. And now they matter. That's a great story. It's awesome. For them, the story here is the pain. Like, I've tasted the riches, and now it's been 20 years. I'm offended for you.

[Mike Ryan]

I was.

[Stugats]

I was offended. And then he's like, okay, where Can I watch the game? I'm like, anywhere? And he's like, yeah, but I don't want to wait for a seat. I'm like, dad, enough of this. He's like, what? I'm trying to get to this Columbus watch party. I'm like, you went to Belen? That's a hated rival. What is happening? The Mendoza thing has gotten the older Cubans crazy. They love this guy more than they love their own town because he is an archetype of what they thought this country would mean for their children. Mendoza is the perfect. You could build them in a lab. The ideal dream child for one of those second generation Cubans that came here hoping for a better life. He is an amalgamation of the American dream. A good religious Cuban boy. And it is gotten in their heads so much that they root against their own children and their own town. That's some balls on your father, I.

[Dan Le Batard]

Got to tell you. And he overcame that lactose intolerance.

[Mike Ryan]

What about my mother? And I would say to you, Mike? And I say this as we build up Monday a live watch party, because I can't even imagine the idea of hitting up Mike for tickets right now for what this ticket is and we are doing while Mike is at the game. He's gonna have to leave about tomorrow in order to get to the. Maybe Saturday afternoon to get to the stadium. But he has been, in a way that's been like, the pandemic made us all crazy. Okay? But the last five years, Mike has poured his life into this school, like, into the things around this school. He's got an information business that is covering this week better than any anyone else is covering it this week.

[Dan Le Batard]

What was like the tipping point where like, okay, I want to be this.

[Stugats]

I will. Well, I was really frustrated with how things were going, and I'm a big believer in be the change that you seek. And I was complaining plenty and I guess just getting other people riled up about what was going on. But then I realized I needed to get in the game, and I was afforded the opportunity to get in the game. But I think, like, the real tipping point in terms of, like, anger and enough of this shit was probably the first couple of plays against Alabama and Atlanta because I was a believer. I was like the Eric King. All right, here we go. Manny Diaz and New Miami. And then I was watching warm ups. I'm like, we're a joke. We're an absolute joke. We got and we had zero interest in competing in that game. It was just, let's not get Hurt. And that's not. That's not the Miami that we. I believed we were. I thought we were turning the corner. And then I realized I got got again. This is the third consecutive coach that got me. I was there as he arrived in a yacht and was talking all this stuff, and I'm like, yeah, this is the energy that we need. And I was a believer. We weren't too far removed from the turnover change. And I was like, all right, here we go. This is it. I love Mark Rick, but he had the health stuff. This is a guy. And I got fooled. I was pissed off, and I had enough of it. I actually spoke to Manny Navarro about this. I wonder if you could have put that out.

[Mike Ryan]

The health stuff, man, you just skipped over the best of the, um, years in the last 20 years that were had here.

[Stugats]

God bless Mark Richt.

[Mike Ryan]

No, of course, of course. A legitimate. A legitimate legend at the University of Miami. Even though people I guess, would say, well, no, not really, but he kept the program afloat during all of those times.

[Stugats]

That dude cares, man.

[Mike Ryan]

No, and cares and used his own money and everything else. But you just skipped past the health stuff because you're going through the last 20 years of supporting this program is when is Randy Shannon going to get out of here? We need him to lose games supporting this program. It's take taken a lot to get to where Mario Cristobal was, and he went through fiu and without the storytelling parts of this, which are kind of amazing. Just the facts of the matter is the business of Miami run through this man over the last four years has increased in value every year after they made a $90 million commitment with a lot of money. People were questioning because it was life Wallet and John Ruiz. So overcoming all odds, this Cuban business has absolutely risen up at the center of. Of college football to get to the very top of the chain led by this man. Where am I not positive enough about this stuff?

[Stugats]

Mike, I tried explaining it to you, buddy. It's okay. We'll help you view it like you view the Miami Heat. And I know you got relationships with people in that building and you deeply care. And there have been a whole bunch of regimes that have come in and out, and maybe you don't have the same kind of relationship with that heck building as you once did, but when it comes to the Miami Heat, he wants you to be homer you put on for your city. And you don't mind being called a homer because you're like, you're goddamn right. I've had opportunities to leave this town. I am a proud Miami. And when the rest of the world attacks this town, I am the guy this entire sports fandom area rallies around. And when it comes to your own school, you are not that guy. And I'm very sorry about that. But you can turn it around. There is still time. Daniel. Retard. You're doing a watch party. We got a couple of days here. It's fine that you bring in Geno Toretta and Edwin James in here. And you farm out the homerism and you farm out the school pride more. You need to tap into that guy that was ranting against Indiana. You need to tap into that guy that hates Boston. You need to be that guy. You need to be that guy again for this town.

[Mike Ryan]

Why would I hate you?

[Stugats]

Have forgotten who you are.

[Mike Ryan]

Why would I hate Indiana?

[Stugats]

Hated the Indiana Pacers plenty.

[Dan Le Batard]

They're not Miami.

[Stugats]

You hated the Indiana Pacers. Plenty of you did. Two rants at their expense.

[Mike Ryan]

Where is that guy you want me to hate? The undefeated Indiana Hoosiers.

[Stugats]

Not just them. The entire state of Indiana.

[Mike Ryan]

Led by the Heisman winning quarterback from Miami.

[Stugats]

Yes. The Heisman irrationally want you to hate Miami opponent. You know why? Because they're what's in front of us. That's right.

[Mike Ryan]

You want me to call Mendoza a dork. Not have David Dunn do it.

[Stugats]

That's right.

[Dan Le Batard]

That.

[Stugats]

That what you. This should be muscle memory for you.

[Dan Le Batard]

You should just treat Indiana like you treat me.

[Stugats]

There you go. Look at him. He's even wearing a shirt for you. Yeah, look at that bullshit.

[Mike Ryan]

But I like Indiana.

[Stugats]

But you hate him.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't hate.

[Stugats]

Yeah, Hate him. Everybody hates him. Everyone. That's his whole deal. That's what he brings to the table. Dislike.

[Mike Ryan]

Roy. Thank Roy. Thank you for being a voice of reason in these troubled times. For turning down the temperature. Dislike. We can have a better conversation around. Nobody here hates Jeremy. No, it does not rise to hate with anyone here.

[Dan Le Batard]

I do.

[Stugats]

Happy new year everybody. 2026 is already getting off to an incredible start. Because you want to know how I rang in the new year? It was with a bunch of friends in a Dallas hotel lobby bar ordering a bunch of Miller lights. Because that's how you do it. That's how you make special memories. Miller Lite has been by my side at many special football memories this year. And hopefully we get to write a few more memories with Miller Lite. Some of my most legendary moments have started that exact same way. A buddy's house, A lobby bar. A game. No big plan. And then you crack open a Miller Light, you take a sip and you look around and you immediately recognize that you made the right call. Legendary moments. Start with Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

[Tony]

All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL. And then a more vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here.

[Stugats]

Smirnoff.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Tony]

You're on the money with Smirnoff.

[Mike Ryan]

Smirnoff.

[Tom Segura]

Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff?

[Mike Ryan]

Sm?

[Tony]

Yes, but I'm really talking about game day fit. The style's got to match the vibe.

[Mike Ryan]

Smirnoff.

[Tony]

All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew and Aleli Mae Smirnoff. Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win a Laylie May's one of one game day jacket.

[Dan Le Batard]

Wow.

[Tony]

The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21st. And it's all courtesy of what brand?

[Tom Segura]

Smirnoff.

[Tony]

That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka number 21 at your local retail. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff. Number 21, vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. No purchase necessary. Must be legal. U.S. resident, 21 or older. Sweepstakes starts 12 15, 2025 at 12:00am Eastern and ends 1232026 at 11:59:59pm Eastern. See official rules at program website.

[Dan Le Batard]

Hello, listeners. You know that I live in Miami, which means my idea of quote unquote winter is just putting on a hoodie or a cardigan and acting like I've suffered. But every time that I travel somewhere, that's actually cold. I'm reminded that my wardrobe is completely and utterly unprepared. But that right there is where Quince comes in. I also realize that if I'm going to be on camera for broadcast gigs, I probably shouldn't look like I just grabbed whatever was closest to the door. Quince makes clothes that deliver premium materials, thoughtful design and pieces that hold up season after season after season after season. And particularly with Quince. Their outerwear has been the thing that's especially impressed me. Those down jackets, wool coats, Italian leather, and folks, that cashmere sweater, ridiculously soft, looks great and somehow doesn't cost what you'd expect. Trust me, I am the only one on this show who actually dresses to impress. And Quince is what's now helping me do it. Refresh your winter wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.com dan for free shipping on your order in. 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I N C. Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Dan Dan Le Batard, Florida claws.

[Stugats]

Back from down 2.0Because they were getting their asses handed to them by Toronto to then get lit a fire underneath underneath them by their head coach, Paul Maurice, who did the thing. Remember how the run sparked was sparked last year? Stugats. He called him a bunch of P's and B's. He did the thing again, called him a bunch of P's and B's and. And then boom. Five unanswered. You win the division. This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats. I want to believe you if we lift number six. I want to believe that it matters to you and right now feels performative. Feels like you're going through the motions. Feels like you kind of hate it a little bit sometimes because you're worried about the comment section and what people may think of our show. You never cared about what people may think of our show when the other teams are in it. And yet for this team, for some reason, you do get me Dan Lebatard back.

[Mike Ryan]

Jack, perhaps. I don't think we want to keep staying on this couch, do we? Unless you think it's a therapy that you're revealing to me something I have not seen. Which you are.

[Stugats]

Which you are.

[Tony]

No, no.

[Stugats]

I'm not trying to give you therapy. I'm giving you a little pep talk. I know you're that guy. You've always been that guy. Just be that guy again.

[Mike Ryan]

You think I have it wrong that the country is watching this game. And all they're rooting against is everything. This show has been loud, proud, and obnoxious. Wherever the worst and best of sports fandom resides.

[Stugats]

When has that ever affected you? That's the sweet spot. There are some people that are right along with us, and it's usually this community that support us. But you've lost this community around this team. Now you're just getting hate from all sides. Put on for your city one more time.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't think I have it in me. Oh, I think it's too big an ass.

[Stugats]

What if I show you Tony from a costume shop?

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, let me see. Let me see what we have there, Tony. Ah, there it is. There it is. It's been there since what, since what year, Tony?

[Tony]

Basically, since the Cuban exile, probably 1960 something, this has been here. So this has been the longest standing costume shop on the planet as far as Miami is concerned. But I'm looking here, and it's closed. And unfortunately, eta bang. The owner, who we had on Tony tonight, who did incredible gags on Lewis, is out of the country. So we don't have the permission right now to go in. Plus, they're closed. But they said Monday he'll be back, and we can go in on Monday. Dan, so is that something you want to, you know, farm out for Monday? Are you interested in that?

[Mike Ryan]

That sounds good. Zaz, how about you? Yeah. All right. So before. All right, so where else are you going today? Because what I'd like to do now, and I failed to do this before, if you want to go back over to where we were, I'd like to give you a chance to give us one football take headed into the NFL weekend because we're wearing out the audience with all our college talk. Think about what that take is, and I'd like for you to give it to us next while eating croquetas. Okay. One after another. Okay, okay.

[Tony]

Okay. We could do that. I'm also. I'm also going to go over to a guayabera shop which also has, like, some Cuban history in it. So we're planting the seeds around here on Cayojo. I did want to go through Dan. Obviously you've been here, but other people haven't. So they're giving examples of kind of some of the things that they have. They've got a gypsy of some sort.

[Tom Segura]

They've got.

[Tony]

They've got Frankenstein. They've got King Kong. They got Dracula, Morticia Adams. They've got some sort of knight or something. They have Satanas. So and if you turn around, you.

[Stugats]

Know about that Satanas for Sean McGill to do.

[Tony]

I don't know if you do. Zaz, they've got. They've got Gloria. Stefan, they got Emilio stuff. A beautiful mural here of the Miami Sound Machine.

[Tom Segura]

What.

[Dan Le Batard]

What. What more do you want?

[Stugats]

Dan?

[Tom Segura]

Look at this.

[Tony]

And the breeze is blowing like we're next to a transmission shop.

[Stugats]

Somebody lives. Somebody lives right there. That's somebody's house right there. I can.

[Tony]

You know what? I don't want to do this, but I could throw a rock and hit that window over there. You won't be nice, but I could do it. That's how close.

[Mike Ryan]

There's no need for that in the name. I do.

[Tom Segura]

No, no, no. You want me to do it?

[Mike Ryan]

No, no, no, no, no. I'll do it.

[Stugats]

No one wants you to do.

[Mike Ryan]

No one is asking you to throw and break a neighborhood.

[Tony]

I heard property.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't think I'll do it.

[Tony]

Yep. Huh?

[Mike Ryan]

All right. Tony, please. I'm going to need you and your father's help to repair my image in these streets over the next three days. Please help me. I can't lose my.

[Tony]

By the way, I talk to my.

[Mike Ryan]

I can't lose my city.

[Tony]

I talk to my dad, who's. I know. I know. I talked to my dad, who's got a lot of. A lot of people at Columbus that he knows. He's very, very intertwined in the Columbus Circle. He said he didn't. They didn't appreciate a lot of the stuff that was happening pre.

[Stugats]

I've.

[Tony]

I've obviously made the inroads and calmed the waters a little bit, but they didn't like where you were headed on the road you were headed on the last couple years. So it's gonna take a little bit to do that. Dan, One trip over there is not gonna help.

[Tom Segura]

All right.

[Tony]

Make a couple trips.

[Mike Ryan]

Okay. I need your help. I need your help. Please go. Please go look at this and think of what that one take is. We gotta go talk to Tom Segura. Please.

[Stugats]

Okay.

[Mike Ryan]

Thank you. We'll check back in with you. Andrew Santino is going to be on with us in a little bit and David Sampson as well. This is going to continue to be a fun week. I've got issues with Santino, though. Honest to God, I didn't tell you guys any of this. So this will be interesting to parse out with him. He's in breach of contract on Meadowlark Media because he was supposed to be the Chicago Bears correspondent all year, and then a Bunch of things came up and everything. And there's like litigation. He blew it. Like, he blew it. He could have been Bears correspondent every week this season on the most amazing Bears season there's been. And so we're going to talk to him and see if we can hash that out in a little bit. But Tom Segura, he's a best selling author, he's a comedian. He's one of the guys, I think, that has helped change comedy podcasting. He's got a bunch of podcasts on his own network, your mom's house. He does that with his wife. Two Bears, One Cave with Bert Kreischer. And he's got a new Netflix special, teacher now. Streaming. I'll get to him and this and the streaming in a second. But you're a crazy college football fan, right, Tom? And thank you for joining us, by the way.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, thank you for having me. I do. I love college football, man. I don't think you have to listen to your colleague's advice and become a homer. I don't think it's a good idea.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, you've been listening. So can you help me manage this, please? Because I'm getting berated by my community for not being Cuban enough.

[Tom Segura]

They're enough, okay? There's enough Cubans there and they're supportive enough. They don't need you on board, too. You can be a voice of reason, it's fine.

[Mike Ryan]

But no reason. This is not a time of reason. College football has no use for reason.

[Tom Segura]

Listen, man, look, first of all, this is the Indiana story. If you like college football, we have basically never seen anything like this. This is crazy that they're even here. It's insane. If you watch college football for the last 30 years, Indiana is a team you see on the schedule and you're like, oh, cool, we're going to beat the shit out of them. They're going to win maybe two games this season. The fact that they've even put this together is bananas. I started to watch games, like halfway through the season because I was like, there's no way they're actually good. They're good, man. They're really good. It's amazing. I cannot believe I'm seeing Indiana play in the national championship game is bananas.

[Stugats]

This is perfect because for years, Dan's actually been yearning for the acceptance of comedians way more than the local community.

[Tom Segura]

Dude, you got enough local support. Do you need more local support? Really?

[Stugats]

Yes. Why? Because, Dan, for whatever reason, when it comes to this program, a team that represents the town more than Any other team decides to play it cool, decides to give equal time, makes sure that the haters are heard. That's not the case when it was a Miami Heat. That's not the case even when it came to Florida, Florida Panthers hockey. And Dan doesn't even know what the puck is made out of.

[Tom Segura]

He does. He doesn't need to actually do any more for the Canes, bro. Like, if you're. Aren't you an alum?

[Stugats]

There you go. There you go. You got Tom Segura on your side.

[Tony]

You.

[Tom Segura]

You.

[Stugats]

It's not pronounced Sea. It's Sakura.

[Tom Segura]

No, it's Tom. Se. But listen, man, I think what we're looking for more than anything in this thing is that, you know, I have tons of Miami friends. I have tons of friends that were players, and they're all. Every year, they're like, canes are back, man. Canes back. You're like, okay, look, they're kind of back. They're in the national championship game. So it's exciting. If you're in Miami, if you're. If you're a fan, if you're in that studio, I'm sure you're thrilled, and you should be, because you actually, after all these years, put together a team that isn't. That couldn't play in the ACC championship game, but they're in the national championship game. And that's incredible. I think you should be thrilled about it. But I think if you're a college football fan, this is the craziest Cinderella story we've ever seen. Indiana is not supposed to be in the national championship game in football. This is the craziest thing I've seen.

[Mike Ryan]

So explain to me. I'm missing a portion of this when I see Rich Eisen doing a segment where he's saying that Miami, or. I didn't hear the segment, but I just saw that what was clipped was Miami is America's team. That can't possibly be so. Right.

[Tom Segura]

What the hell? Rich Eisen's on drugs. That's crazy. No, that's.

[Mike Ryan]

All of India. The country is rude. All of the country that cares about college football is rooting for Indiana.

[Stugats]

Correct.

[Tom Segura]

They are 100% doing that. 100%. Yes.

[Mike Ryan]

Nobody outside of Miami wishes for Miami to win this game. They all want the story to end with, can you believe Indiana just had the most unbelievable upset season of all time? No one ever saw Indiana coming.

[Tom Segura]

I think that's a totally reasonable thing to say. Yeah. I think that most people. Most people hate you guys. Most people, yes. Yeah.

[Stugats]

No.

[Tom Segura]

And I think. No, And I think if you're a Miami guy, you embrace that. You embrace the fact usually people hate you.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Because you. Miami swag. You. You're like, we did it first. It's who you are. And I think Miami, best shot I'm talking about as a team is embracing the fact that. That it's them against the world. That the country does want to see them lose. The country always wants to see Miami lose, Tom.

[Stugats]

You're helping my end game more than you would ever know. This is catnip for Dan LeBatard. Wait a second. The entire world is against Miami? How did I not know this?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, for sure, dude. It's not even close.

[Mike Ryan]

Why is that, Tom? Why is the entire world against Miami?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, boy.

[Dan Le Batard]

I can think of a couple reasons.

[Tom Segura]

Me, too.

[Mike Ryan]

That's all you guys got?

[Stugats]

It's probably.

[Tom Segura]

No, I mean, look, there's no. There's. There's others. There's multiple ways to look. I mean, there's. To be fair, there's a couple ways to look at it. There's going to be. There's going to be the thing that people say, which is they're like, indiana's never been there. This is a basketball school. They got it done without getting five star and four star kids. You know, it's the. It is the Cinderella. All they've done is lose, man. I don't have to tell you that. Right. You know that All. All they've done is lo. If you were an Indiana alum and you wanted tickets to the basketball games, you had to. They made you buy tickets to the football games and you go, I don't want these. And they're like, yeah, I know, but you're buying these if you want to go to the basketball game. I mean, the other level of it is the one that we all know, which is that I think a lot of people just like, oh, Miami, with the gold chains and loud dreads and all that shit. Like, yeah, it's. They're racist. Do you not know that a lot of America is racist?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, but that was. That was 30 years ago.

[Stugats]

I know it felt like racism went away, but it's having a huge comeback, Dan.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's bad.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know if you've seen the news this week, but there's a lot of white people that are still hanging on to, like, oh, just enter our country the right way. And you should get shot if you don't. So those people are the types of people that I think definitely want to see. They associate that With Miami, it's. It's layered, man. And it might be nuanced, but I don't think it's untrue.

[Stugats]

Tom, you got to spend a little bit of time with the Miami Hurricanes.

[Dan Le Batard]

Mascot Michael Irvin over Christmas, didn't you?

[Tom Segura]

He is the best.

[Mike Ryan]

Come back.

[Stugats]

No.

[Mike Ryan]

That'S it, baby.

[Tom Segura]

I love this guy, dude. I love this guy. And I told him straight to his face that I'm not a Cane's fan, but I would. I would go anywhere with Michael Irvin. He is the most fun. I was like, what are you on? And he was like, let's not talk about it. And then what is it about you? He's just like. He's like, I'm built different. The enthusiasm that guy has, I mean, he would be the person I put the forefront if I was building a team. I would honestly, like, you get prime age of everyone. Michael Irvin's definitely on that team. He's incredible.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, it is a testament, it really is a testament to his connection to the program and to entertainment that Miami is the only team in the history of college football that has as its mascot an NFL hall of Famer. Like, as its mascot, an NFL hall of Famer.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I mean, it's, it's, it's. It's so crazy that they were able to have worked that out, but I could. It's not an act from this guy. It's so genuine. That's the thing. It's so enthusiastic.

[Dan Le Batard]

He's.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know. There's points where I'm like, I think he's going to run on the field. Like, I don't think he has any. No in him. There's just like. It's all energy 24, 7. He's like that at 6 in the morning. It's, it's. It never ends.

[Stugats]

No idea how he finds the energy. Really don't.

[Tom Segura]

There's ways.

[Mike Ryan]

You, your love of Michael Irvin and football and Netflix put you together in a situation. You guys have had a number of interesting opportunities present themselves. How are you selecting the ones you select and what is it that you are trying to do with the Netflix opportunity?

[Tom Segura]

I've had a great relationship with Netflix for, I guess, 12, 13 years now. I'm in prep right now for season two of my series, Bad Thoughts, which we start shooting next week. It's just something that I really wanted to do. I took it to them first and they said yes, and they've been great to me on standup. They've put six specials out so I'm super lucky that I've been able to do that. And for me, I just go with, like, this is the thing that I've dreamt of doing. They've. They've literally made many dreams come true, and so I'm just very lucky that. That it's worked out that way. I'm just super thankful that I get to work with them.

[Mike Ryan]

So what are the situation you found yourself in, though? I saw you told at some point an endemic and sue story, but you found yourself in what strange positions as someone who never really expected to arrive in a place where you'd actually be jostling among, like, some athletic heroes that, you know, want to party with you.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, look, I. Look, I've sat next to Mike Tyson at a fight, and that's pretty crazy. The whole thing feels surreal, man. I mean, I. I just wanted to be able to. To sell some, you know, tickets at a club. When I was starting doing stand up, I never. You never dream, like, I'm gonna do stand up where they play NBA games? Like, that's not on your vision board. You know, you just kind of. You do your shows, they put it out, and then people either, you know, like it or they don't, and it turns out it's both. But you don't really get to pick that thing. I mean, I've. Yeah, I've found myself hanging out with people that I never thought it would be a possible thing. Like, Tyson was obviously one who I've run into now several times. I still think it's crazy whenever I run into him and that he remembers me. I think I remember I was having dinner with, like, Joe Burrow and Nick Bosa and John Feliciano Hurricane.

[Mike Ryan]

I asked him.

[Tom Segura]

That's not fair. He asked me, no, you don't get to. You don't get to do that. Whoever played that, you're a.

[Dan Le Batard]

It was Chris.

[Mike Ryan]

I asked him. I asked him.

[Stugats]

He might be a bum.

[Dan Le Batard]

He's literally.

[Tom Segura]

He's literally fishing for me to do this. You piece of shit. So. So I'm hanging out with these dudes at dinner, and they're telling NFL injury stories. I. I remember it like, if we were talking about. You and me were talking about injuries, you know, we would talk about. If you were telling one, I would be like, oh, this would happen to me. And I. I realized that in the middle of them talking about NFL injury stories, my brain just was like, oh, I remember when I got injured and I was thinking about a high school football injury, and I started telling It. And my brain was like, I think you just, you're about to get lit up by these guys. You're talking about high school football and they play in the NFL. And I could just feel it. They were like, I. I saw their forks kind of go down and I was like, ah, just take whatever they say. And they were like, oh, yeah, you hurt your tailbone. And I was like, yeah, man. I was doing, I was doing punt coverage. And they're like, huh? And they're like, how'd you get injured? Were you like falling down the stairs? And I was like, okay, I'll just.

[Mike Ryan]

Nobody asked a follow up question. Tom, Tom, they didn't let you drown in that shit. That's. That seems like such spectacularly bad judgment to try and get in on story with your war story and to have those three guys look that. How do you, how do you not realize three seconds in. Oh, what a terrible mistake I've made?

[Tom Segura]

I did. I. It was humiliating and I knew I had made a terrible mistake. I knew I had made a terrible mistake. But my brain was like, just try to keep going and maybe they'll gloss over it. Maybe they'll miss it. I was just trying to escape the room and then I just took the beating. They just roasted me for the next hour. It was pretty, it was, it was a humbling experience, man.

[Dan Le Batard]

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[Tom Segura]

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[Stugats]

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[Dan Le Batard]

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[Tom Segura]

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[Dan Le Batard]

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[Tom Segura]

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[Stugats]

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[Dan Le Batard]

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[Tom Segura]

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[Stugats]

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[Dan Le Batard]

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[Mike Ryan]

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[Mike Ryan]

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[Mike Ryan]

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[Dan Le Batard]

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[Mike Ryan]

Sponsored by Crown gaming, Inc. Don LeBatard who is the comedian? Is it James Mulvaney? How do you pronounce his?

[Stugats]

John Mulaney.

[Mike Ryan]

There you go. Thank you. John Mulaney. $2 course. Yeah, yeah. That's a bad find.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Mike Ryan]

Everybody started shaking their head.

[Stugats]

I mean, he's arguably the most popular comedian right now. James Mulvaney. Stugats.

[Mike Ryan]

Put it on the pole. Guillermo Is John Mulvaney the most popular columnist at Levitation?

[Stugats]

Oh my God. Comedian Dan Jesus, get it together.

[Mike Ryan]

Excuse me, comedian. My bad.

[Stugats]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stool gods. Tom, you can stop me at any point. You may want to stop me already. I've been going down. I read the book on the Garth Brooks thing. I know you're probably annoyed with people asking you about it. I don't want to ask you about any of that stuff and your opinions on it. There is a part of the book that alleges that Garth Brooks has a video of you actually sustaining an injury.

[Tom Segura]

A horrible injury.

[Stugats]

Yeah, a horrible injury. Showing people this video and saying that it was karma.

[Tom Segura]

I learned, I learned this firsthand from somebody who is directly related to one of his high level employees. And so the person that I spoke, I'm trying to like not give out too much of their information. Person that I spoke to was like, yo, yeah, I've met him, weird guy. My relative works with him. And I said, does he know about these rumors? And he goes, yeah, of course he knows. And he doesn't get it. And then they asked him, they're like, do you hate Tom? And the person that works for Garth said, garth doesn't hate anybody. And I was like, that's such a creepy thing to say. And then, and then he said that he sometimes looks at the video of me tearing my patellar tendon and breaking my arm and goes, karma, karma right here. So, yeah, that's how he responds to being. You know, the Internet has completely ruined his social media. Right? Like it's comments are off on like everything he used to. Like, first he turned them off on Instagram, then it turned off on Facebook and like those are big obviously platforms for him because just everyone's asking him where bodies are buried and if they can have their grandmother back. And so they just. It's completely over for him on social media.

[Mike Ryan]

This is a, I guess it's a complicated question, but you guys have all run into a giant fame sort of fast that I think probably you didn't quite expect in some ways. And you teamed up with Bert Kreischer on something and he is vulnerable in ways and fragile in ways that the Internet's going to eat up, especially if, if, if he's reading comment sections about himself, like as you've gone through the last five years of Slalom course in a Changing America. What has all that felt like as some of the guys in the Rogan spheres are being accused of, you know, tilting the political election?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I mean, the, the social media thing is a very precarious thing to navigate. And I think you realize that like, if you are, if you get great exposure sometimes, you know, you just get. You get showered with positive things, and when it shifts to all to, like, negative or very negative, what you realize is you really shouldn't be digesting either side of it too much. I don't let it really. I mean, I've been doing this now stand up 25 years, and you learn, like, how to deal with, like, people talking shit to you and accusing you of things or calling you names. And at first they think it's really shocking. Like, when I remember when it first happens, it's. It feels so personal. But the longer you do it and you realize you have all this exposure, the more I think of it as, like, this is just something you deal with. Sometimes I look at, like, an extreme case and I try to tell. When I'm telling, like, another comic about it who is themselves shocked about it, I'm like, look, why don't you just, like, do a search for, like, what Taylor Swift gets? Do you think that, like, she's sitting there making sure, like, yeah, she gets a lot of praise and then she gets a lot of criticism because she's a superstar. So your stardom has begun. This is just part of how it goes now, as far as the political thing, I know that some of those guys are really into that. Thankfully, I'm not. I do not participate in that. I mean, I've been pretty. I wouldn't say I'm a very outspoken person about political things, but I've definitely never been a supporter of anybody in this administration, and I think I've made that pretty clear.

[Mike Ryan]

Can you explain to me the perils before we talk about Teacher, your new Netflix special, the perils of doing a podcast with a Peruvian relative. Forgive me, I am a bit ignorant about. About the concept of the podcast.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, well, my mother is Peruvian, so she's 100. I'm half Peruvian. So we gave my mom her own podcast, and she is a crazy Latin mother, as they all are. And she's the most difficult human being I've ever met in my entire life. And so I decided to share her with the world and gave her a Muy Muchacharo, her own podcast in which she can be crazy with my own staff. But she's. Yeah, she's a lot man. You know you have a mom, right?

[Mike Ryan]

Yes, I've got a Latin mom, but I've had one all my life, so.

[Tom Segura]

Me too.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. So how does that go? Like, how does the podcast end up going where she's being. You're unleashing to the world Hispanic fire.

[Tom Segura]

Well, we're Yeah, I mean, so we used to have my mom as a guest on ymh, and she would come in and the whole game would be just to horrify her. It's still my favorite thing to do. You know, when I was a kid, I would just belch at the table or say awful things just to get this rise out of her, because it was fun. It's still fun to see her get upset. That's been a thing we've done for years. But she is, to her credit, I have to say, this woman is naturally funny. She's a natural storyteller. She is funny. She is an exaggerator. She's dramatic. She's Latina, you know, so she is who she is. And so we gave her her own show where my production staff, their fantastic staff at ymh, they just do this show with her now where she. They. They fill her up with, like, pop culture news. Here's slang. What's your take on this crazy story about, you know, someone selling their own breast milk, whatever, crazy things happening, and you just get to see Chado react. And that's been the show, and fans seem to love it, so, you know, I'm glad somebody's having a good time with her.

[Mike Ryan]

The new Netflix special is called Teacher. It is now streaming. You'll forgive me for doing this, but Tony is calling in urgently from back at. Yes. Okay. No. As he moved the party somewhere else. That looks different. Tony was running around Miami because we got a big game coming up. He wanted to play Fran del Dia with you. Are you ready to. To chew up some Latin phrases here before you leave?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I'd love to.

[Tony]

We are here live at La Colada Gourmet, still down on call. Tom, I'm a big fan of yours, buddy. I'm excited to play this game with you. So the game we're playing is called refrande dia. I give it Spanish phrase. And then. Okay, yeah, and then you have to translate it into English. So I'm going to give you the Spanish phrase. You're going to translate it into English literally, and then we decide what it means, and. And let the people know who don't speak Spanish, what, how we use that and where it comes from.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, let's try.

[Stugats]

All right.

[Tony]

Let's do it.

[Mike Ryan]

Crisp in the wheel.

[Tony]

Okay. This is one that we've never had before. This is an exciting one. It's a little bit.

[Stugats]

A little bit more nuanced.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Tony]

Okay. So here's here. Here it is.

[Mike Ryan]

You want to start with. You want to Start with. You want to start with nuanced as opposed to easy. You want to go nuanced?

[Tony]

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Because we've given all the easy ones, right? And Tom is. Is a man of dignity, a man of class, a man who understands Spanish. He does the damn podcast in Spanish, for God's sake. So he knows what's the deal is. So here it is. Today's refundadilla is mas diablo por viejo que po. Diablo. Diablo.

[Tom Segura]

So the devil knows more for being old than for being the devil.

[Tony]

Exactly.

[Dan Le Batard]

Right.

[Stugats]

Nailed it.

[Tom Segura]

And then the. Is this a Cuban expression?

[Mike Ryan]

What the hell does this mean?

[Tom Segura]

This.

[Stugats]

I'm.

[Tony]

I'm glad you asked, Dan, which is why it requires nuance. So masa diablo porbiejo que port diablo. It's not that he's the prince of darkness and knows all. He knows all because he's been around longer. And that's a phrase that's. That's said to somebody who has. Who's older of age, who's been around the block, who's seen things. You say, masabe dialo porbiejo. It's diablo.

[Tom Segura]

So somebody who's such an old lady. Phrase. It's an old lady phrase that she says when she sees you getting into, like, bad things, like you're going down the wrong path, and she's telling you. Yes, that's what I. Tony.

[Mike Ryan]

Going Croquette. Tony. I can't believe that that's what you chose to use with him. Thank you.

[Tony]

Okay, I can do another one. I can do it.

[Stugats]

Fade them down.

[Mike Ryan]

No, thank you. Just spectacularly bad judgment. And I knew it as soon as you started talking.

[Stugats]

It's rare that when he said new one, he just learned what nuance means.

[Mike Ryan]

I just can't believe what he tried to do with you there.

[Tom Segura]

It really.

[Mike Ryan]

No. Yes, I'm. Yes, I'm.

[Tom Segura]

Isn't that the game? I'm. I thought.

[Mike Ryan]

No, but it's supposed to. It's supposed to be a little easier than. It's supposed to be a little easier than what it is. We just made it for you.

[Tom Segura]

How is it complicated? What do you mean? What's the complicate? You said easier. Easier how?

[Mike Ryan]

That. The expression that he used. I didn't understand what he was talking about, even as someone who knows the expression.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I love that he's. He's exasperated.

[Tony]

No, it's that Dan doesn't speak Spanish, so he comes. He hears a phrase that he's never heard in his life and then says, it's a bad phrase. Dan has no idea what he's talking about. That's why Miami doesn't like him.

[Tom Segura]

This is good me for.

[Tony]

Are you kidding?

[Tom Segura]

I like this.

[Tony]

Tom came out and knew it exactly was in two seconds. That gave the context for it.

[Stugats]

Dan, you are such a.

[Tony]

You have such a bad gauge. You have such a bad gauge.

[Stugats]

And so does Mike Ryan. Like, please, she's dead.

[Mike Ryan]

Please.

[Tony]

That's a. That's a phrase.

[Dan Le Batard]

Thanks, Tom.

[Tony]

It doesn't mean exactly yours.

[Tom Segura]

Hey, man died.

[Stugats]

You knew that.

[Dan Le Batard]

Me cago to madre.

[Stugats]

Dan, We're gonna talk about that mom line. Tony. Happy new year, everybody. 2026 is already getting off to an incredible start. Because you want to know how I rang in the new year. It was with a bunch of friends in a Dallas hotel lobby bar ordering a bunch of Miller Lights. Because that's how you do it. That's how you make special memories. Miller Lite has been by my side at many special football memories this year. And hopefully we get to write a few more memories with Miller Lite. Some of my most legendary moments have started that exact same way. A buddy's house, a lobby bar, a game. No big plan. And then you crack open a Miller Lite, you take a sip and you look around and you immediately recognize that you made the right call. Legendary moments start with Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.