The Big Suey: The Great Myles Garrett Debate

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Episode: The Big Suey: The Great Myles Garrett Debate

Date: January 5, 2026
Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami

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Episode Overview

This episode of "The Big Suey" features Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, and the regular crew in a spirited, hilarious, and sometimes raucous debate about recent sports headlines, centering on the Cleveland Browns’ Myles Garrett breaking the NFL single-season sack record. The group dives deeper into the context and legitimacy of the record, debating the impact of the 17-game season, snap counts, and the dynamics of modern football greatness. Woven throughout are Miami Hurricanes football talk, notable college football moments, and trademark sidebars on pop culture and the absurdities of modern sports discourse.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Miami Hurricanes: Program Resurgence and National Championship Hype

• [02:05] - [10:55]
  • Miami’s football return to glory is examined with both celebration and skepticism.
  • The Hurricanes’ transition from a 20-year “mediocre” run to potential National Champions is attributed to coach Mario Cristobal’s intense, old-school philosophy (“punch you in the face again and again”), high NIL investment, and strategic recruitment.
  • The emotional baggage from past Miami-Ohio State clashes (“Terry Porter, the cheating, the flag”) resurfaces, with the crew reflecting on whether a championship would heal old wounds.
    • Quote - Chris Cody [04:27]:
      “Does the Ohio State stuff, Terry Porter, the cheating, the flag, does all that go away if the Canes win the national championship this year? Because…I can let that go now.”
  • Miami’s underdog status is juxtaposed with their blueblood history, pointing out the program’s role in making football matter to South Florida when the Dolphins floundered.

2. College Football Playoff Structure and Venue Gripes

• [05:44] - [06:38]
  • Frustration abounds with the current bowl game setup, particularly the geographical mismatch, and the crew jokes about swapping venues for more logical matchups.
    • Quote - Jonathan Zaslau [05:48]:
      “The two teams representing each semifinal should be able to trade venues. You got two east coast teams going out west…We should just make a deal with the Big Ten…”

3. National Champions and Underdog Narratives

• [07:09] - [10:55]
  • Miami’s current team is compared favorably to previous contenders in program history.
  • The discussion highlights the unusual parity in this year’s playoff: Miami stands as the only program with a true championship pedigree among a field of would-be first-timers (Indiana, Oregon, Mississippi).

4. Mario Cristobal: Genius Builder or Just a Caveman?

• [08:39] - [09:59]
  • While Cristobal won’t be considered a “genius” coach in the Lincoln Riley mold, his ability to build winning programs and dominate the line of scrimmage is lauded.
    • Quote - Jonathan Zaslau [09:38]:
      "He's a genius about program building. He's a genius about offensive line play. He's a genius about developing guys along the trenches."

5. Trinidad Chambliss and the Quarterback Hype Cycle

• [09:04] - [09:59]; [17:56] - [18:26]
  • The panel debates the hype around Trinidad Chambliss, Miami’s quarterback, expressing fatigue over media fixation and questioning whether he is truly “unbeatable.”
    • Quote - Chris Cody [09:04]:
      “Enough with this Trinidad Chamberlain. Like, he's unbeatable quarterback, please.”
  • ESPN and fans are criticized for giving undue attention to QBs over other aspects like defense and trenches.

6. The Great Myles Garrett Sack Record Debate

• [18:29] - [33:14] (centerpiece segment)

A. Legitimacy of Garrett's Record

• Chris Cody labels it a “fake sack record” because Garrett broke it in the newly expanded 17-game season, compared to previous record-holders who played 16.

  • Quote - Chris Cody [19:28]:
    "Miles Garrett gets the fake sack record yesterday. He surpasses T.J. Watt and Strahan in a 17th game…How do we not acknowledge that he had more games?"

• Others counter with the snap count argument, noting Garrett played far fewer defensive snaps than Strahan or Watt to reach his mark (437 vs. 567 for Strahan and 618 for Watt).

  • Quote - Jonathan Zaslau [21:20]:
    “22 sacks for Miles Garrett. 437 snaps. You're a fool.”

• Mike Ryan jokes about why Garrett played so few snaps (“He’s lazy. You’re a sucker. Why is he playing so little?” [21:35]), with further debate about whether per-snap or per-game stats matter more.

B. Did Joe Burrow "Take a Dive"?

• Chris Cody and Jonathan Zaslau discuss whether Joe Burrow intentionally went down (“pulled a [Brett] Favre") to help Garrett break the record.
  • Quote - Chris Cody [20:24]:
    “Joe Burrow took a dive…his sack was so obvious, a dive by Joe Burrow.”

C. The Challenge of Greatness in Modern Football

• Dan Le Batard points out the ever-increasing athleticism of O-linemen and that quarterbacks now focus on quick releases, making sack records harder to achieve and thus Garrett’s feat even more impressive.
  • Quote - Dan Le Batard [24:55]:
    “Just look at, look at that left tackle paid higher than anyone in the sport to keep him out of the backfield, who, as soon as he leans on him, the left Tackle cannot do anything about it.”
  • Quote - Dan Le Batard [32:14]:
    “If we're living in an age of mastery…and the quarterback's getting it out faster than he ever has. This is the best you've ever seen at getting back there.”

7. Baseball, Weirdness, & Mastery in Modern Sports

• [28:21] - [31:07]
  • The Marlins’ signing of Pete Fairbanks prompts talk of sports “characters,” including relievers with oddball rituals.
  • Dan highlights how we’re witnessing cross-sport “ages of mastery,” likening Myles Garrett to LeBron and Shohei Ohtani as modern marvels.

8. NFL Playoff Landscape & AFC Distrust

• [39:49] - [42:06]
  • The panel discusses New England’s sudden rise, led by Drake May, against a backdrop of broad skepticism for all AFC contenders. Who do you mistrust least?
    • Quote - Dan Le Batard [42:06]:
      “...we can do that with every single one in the afc. You don't trust any of them. I guess the question I'm asking you is who do you mistrust the least?”

9. Funniest Moments and Absurdities of Sports

• [39:40] - [46:19]
  • Kickers deciding NFL games is hilariously absurd (“no other sport does it this way”).
    • Quote - Dan Le Batard [42:56]:
      “It's stupid, right? Right? That we decide games…with a guy who doesn't play the sport that all the other guys play. Like it's a dumb way to do it.”
  • A viral Detroit Lions fan press conference, following an altercation with DK Metcalf, is savaged for its bizarre sincerity (face gets "warm" at “animal abuse, racism”).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• Dan Le Batard [05:24]: “Biggest game in 20 years.”
• Chris Cody [19:28]: “I want to hear about that. That's a fake sack record.”
• Jonathan Zaslau [21:20]: “22 sacks for Miles Garrett. 437 snaps…”
• Mike Ryan [21:35]: “He's lazy. You're a sucker. Why is he playing so little?”
• Dan Le Batard [24:55]:
  “Just look at, look at that left tackle paid higher than anyone in the sport…He's sacked him 11 times the last couple of times they've played because he's an unblockable human being.”
• Dan Le Batard [32:14]:
  "If we're living in an age of mastery...and the quarterback's getting it out faster than he ever has. This is the best you've ever seen at getting back there."
• Chris Cody [32:52]:
  "That is by far a superior point than your less snaps in 17 games. Nonsense. But it's still. He needed the extra game to get the sack."
• Jonathan Zaslau [39:44]:
  “It is the segment we call what. Make you laugh this weekend. Ha ha ha.”

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [02:05] – [10:55]: Miami Hurricanes’ rise, Cristobal’s impact, playoff anticipation.
• [17:56] – [18:26]: Trina Chambliss/quarterback hype fatigue.
• [18:29] – [33:14]: The Great Myles Garrett Sack Debate.
• [28:21] – [31:07]: Pete Fairbanks, Marlins, and "age of mastery" in sports.
• [39:40] – [42:06]: AFC playoff distrust and the New England Patriots discussion.
• [42:56]: The kicker absurdity in the NFL.

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Tone & Style

The tone is uproariously irreverent—authentically Miami, at times combative, shoot-from-the-hip and always laced with inside jokes and playful disrespect among colleagues. The hosts lean into nostalgia, urban legend, and hard sports truths, elevating every debate—from the importance of snaps versus games in sack records to the legacy of Michael Irvin's sideline antics—with the same blend of passion and outright farce that defines the Le Batard universe.

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Final Takeaway

This episode is a quintessential Dan Le Batard Show experience—part fevered sports debate, part Miami football revival, and part meta-comedy on modern fandom. While the Myles Garrett sack record segment anchors the episode, it’s the relentless clash of strong opinions, metrics vs. “eye test,” and the continuing saga of Miami's return to glory that give it real juice. Listeners come away with a deeper, messier (and much funnier) appreciation of how records get made—and endlessly debated—in today’s sports landscape.

Transcript

[Mike Ryan]

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[Dan Le Batard]

Welcome to the Big Sui presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show.

[Chris Cody]

The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBatard podcast? I'm sorry. I'm not going to apologize for that.

[Dan Le Batard]

In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

I've done it.

[Chris Cody]

And now here's the Marching Man To.

[Dan Le Batard]

Nowhere, Fat Face and the Habitual Liar.

[Chris Cody]

This episode of the Dan Lebatard show is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings. The Crown is yours, Chris Cody.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm thinking about needing some help here with an executive decision where we just make the whole week a fake pregame show that leads up to Thursday night's biggest game in the history of games since games were played by the University of Miami. Like, if we're gonna do this right over the next week, because you've. If you've been listening to this show since the pandemic, you watched this happen. You watched Mike Ryan become someone who was in the nil community trying to get into the thicket of how boosters influence things. You saw how Columbus High School made anointed Mario Cristobal as the guy from Saban who could go get all of the players. And he's obviously fixed it. Like the things that were plaguing Miami, they've gone from being pretty mediocre for 20 years to getting into the big business of athletics. And at the beginning of it, it was John Ruiz and Life wallet. And now that has all. It's all gone away. And what's left is a man who came up through this program and learned how to win championships at Jimmy Johnson's knee. Offensive lineman like his brother, failed at fiu. Failed at fiu.

[Chris Cody]

He would say fail.

[Dan Le Batard]

He didn't fail.

[Chris Cody]

He won a bowl game.

[Adrian Peterson]

Had a great player in, Ty Hilton.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

That was Pete Garcia.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, got fired at the end because he wasn't getting results at the end and his career was in disarray. Sneaky Pete and. And then he ends up rehabbing this Miami program where they are favored to win the next most important game in program history. But it is fair to say we haven't had this spirit here since 2001. Because even when Miami was going to pit as the number one team in the country with Steven Morris as the quarterback, none of us believe that was a championship worthy that could play with anyone. We didn't look at a season's worth of rivals and say, oh, at the end they're going to win all their games. No, it was a team with flaws. This team is not flawed.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

We beat all our rivals this year. And you can add Ohio State to that mix because Miami has always had this weird relationship with Ohio State in terms of hatred that's outsized since the Fiestable. They beat Ohio State, they beat Notre Dame, they beat Florida, they beat Florida State. No one cares about this more than Mario Crawl. Yeah, you think I Care a lot. You think? I've been a homer for 20 years on this show. Mario Crispal cares way more than me. He cares way more about getting Miami back to where it should be than anyone else on the planet. I guarantee you. He's a psycho about it.

[Chris Cody]

Does the Ohio State stuff, Terry Porter, the cheating, the flag, does all that go away if the Canes win the national championship this year? Because I kind of feel like, to me, you know, as a Heat fan, the Allen Houston shot was really bad. And then seven years later, the Heat won the NBA Finals. Like, okay, I can let that go now.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

I think it's. I think it's even more impressive when you consider on their path there, they knocked off that team. There was a surreal moment. I can't feel my face. Final whistle blows. I'm looking around, trying to soak it in. And if you look at the Miami sections in the air, you're seeing people brought their own penalty flags. And, well, after the final whistle, you start seeing them go up in the air.

[Chris Cody]

Really?

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Yeah. Like. Like confetti, like little streamers, flares going up in the section. I thought that was pretty cool.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think we need to escalate this with the imaging that we have that rises to the moment that says that this is the biggest thing we've seen in many a decade.

[Chris Cody]

Biggest game in 20 years.

[Dan Le Batard]

Look at that. That is the imaging we need. There it is. A drunk Greg Cody driving home from the holiday party, being driven home, whispering into the phone and complaining to his son.

[Chris Cody]

Biggest game in 20 years.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think we need to build up to Thursday's game. Mike is going on Thursday. Zazzle is going to the Peach Bowl.

[Chris Cody]

I'm going to the Wrong.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

The Peach bowl, sucker. The two.

[Chris Cody]

The.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

The two teams representing each semifinal should be able to trade venues. You got two east coast teams going out west. You got two west coast teams going out east. We should just make a deal with the Big Ten and say, hey, you get the fiesta. Give us the sugar.

[Mike Ryan]

If all four teams agree, right?

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Or the Peach.

[Mike Ryan]

What are we doing?

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Yeah. This is stupid. It's like. This is annoying. I hate the bowl game setup here. It's weird. You're all about the Goodyear tires, and then in six days, you're just supposed to forget that and become a verbo.

[Mike Ryan]

But us having a home game, if we win, we like, yeah, Miami might.

[Dan Le Batard]

Be playing at home for the championship.

[Mike Ryan]

That's one game at a time.

[Dan Le Batard]

They're favored. They're favored.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

It's a neutralizer because they're going to be going up against a team either Oregon and Indiana would be terrifying. They're going to be going up against a team that is going to be favored and picked by most to beat them. But the great neutralizer is that's a home game.

[Dan Le Batard]

You can say favored to beat them but I don't believe anybody should be favored by much against Miami. Like I don't. I have not seen a lot of teams that I would say are better than Miami. Indiana's impression impressive. Indiana, Indiana can beat you in the same ways that Miami can beat you. But I wouldn't say that Miami doesn't have a chance against anybody like that. But this is, but this is the reason. This is why you know it's championship worthy. We're about to have a new champion where there one of these teams has never won before and so you're going.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

To be a first time national champion head coach.

[Dan Le Batard]

So it Miami, it obviously has won championships but Indiana and Oregon and Mississippi, these are all newcomers. Newcomers. What really the blue blood remaining program after the SEC gets knocked aside and Ohio State and Clemson isn't what it was. This is the name program but it hasn't been that for 20 years. And the name on the marquee among these four schools is Miami. Miami is the only one with a real history there at winning, at winning at football. And they. So they've, they've won the business of it. When you can just look at it and say they got the most expensive quarterback, turned him into a game manager and built all around him a defense that can beat you and an offense that has enough playmakers and they're just going to maul you front. They're going to be what the Crystal Ball family name is. Punch you in the face again and again. Even if you're Ryan Day, even if it's midfield. Mass kicks ass. And this is who he is. This he shakes hands with his elbows. Do you guys realize I heard this on the broadcast where they were introducing Kyle Whittingham at Michigan. There were people saying that their hands were still hurting from days earlier when he shook it. And that's, that's what Cristobal is. It's another one of these meatheads will who will shake your hand.

[Chris Cody]

Adrian Peterson more.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes, more vigorously than you could shake his hand. And your hand will hurt for three days and he's going to beat you because he cares about all of this more than you do.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

I mentioned this before Miami's mid season hiccup and you know, a couple games later it Was viewed as a joke of a statement. But we. We need to reshape what we think of genius along offense. It's always supposed to look like Lincoln Riley because we're so tethered to the quarterback. You'll hear that, like, Trinidad's going to get plenty of hype over these next few days because fans and ESPN media, like, we're just fixated on the quarterback.

[Chris Cody]

Enough with this Trinidad Chamberlain. Like, he's unbeatable quarterback, please. I know he's really.

[Adrian Peterson]

Guys, he got eyes, right?

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes.

[Chris Cody]

I saw the game.

[Dan Le Batard]

You saw what he did.

[Chris Cody]

Okay, he was brilliant, but he's some Superman quarterback. Get out of here.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

My larger point is. My larger point is Mario's never going to get ever.

[Chris Cody]

Dan.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Mario's never going to get to be the genius type because everyone's just like, caveman offensive lineman. Look. And he'll never escape what happened to Georgia Tech. Against Georgia Tech, even though he's been executed.

[Chris Cody]

No one's ever going to talk about that again at the Canes. When the national team will escape, it.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Will follow him forever, but it'll be one of those things that he overcame. But he's not ever going to be genius guy, but he's a genius about program building. He's a genius about offensive line play. He's a genius about developing guys along the trenches. He really is. And that makes everything easier for a quarterback. That. That makes your offensive coordinator look like a genius when you build the roster the way that he has.

[Chris Cody]

Shameless enough already. It's only Monday morning. I'm tired of hearing about him already.

[Dan Le Batard]

All right, Peach bowl breath. Like, are you just envious because you're not going to be at the game?

[Chris Cody]

A little bit.

[Dan Le Batard]

A little bit.

[Chris Cody]

That's what it is. A little bit. I mean, when I saw the brackets come out knowing I'm going the pitch, well, Canes are on the other side.

[Dan Le Batard]

What? The University of Miami will take center stage here. When I was talking about the history of the things in this market that have mattered in sports and the way football matters here, Miami, the university made it matter here at a time that the Dolphins weren't winning championships. They had Marino, but they weren't winning championships. The University of Miami became a professional sports program in this town and didn't seem to have the money to get Mario Cristobal. Like $90 million for that seemed like a lot of money, and it seemed like too much to give him. It didn't seem like money. Miami had. Miami was aggressive, and then he went out and got a Lot of the best players, physical players.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

What's interesting about this town's relationship with this Miami Hurricanes team is Miami was only really an underdog one time throughout their Natties. Right. It was the first one discounted. No one thought that they could do it. And they ended up playing a game at home and winning a national title. And then that started a run that had them as the favorite. They were a 14 and a half point favorite when they played Ohio State in the Fiesta Bowl. This is the first team that has tapped back into that first team, that first national title team, which is. No, they, they really doubted you. They said that you didn't belong. They were going to take a team that won that, that lost you heads up because everyone thought that you couldn't do this. And it's interesting that there is only one team in the nation that can play that card more than Miami. And it's a team whose coach didn't think they had a shot to win the national title in Ole Miss.

[Dan Le Batard]

Larger scope, though, the thing that's, you know, that is you build upon this. James Madison isn't in this class there. Tulane, you're not in this class. There are 10 teams that can win the title and Miami is now one of them. They have built the foundation that can make them one of them. Now Indiana would say they've done the same thing. Oregon's been trying to build that for a year and always loses one of these next two games. Much of the time when Cristobal was their coach. This is exactly the kind of team that can beat him because of this quarterback, because of getting the rid of the ball quickly.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Well, we all know Mass kicks ass, but the way to kick Masses ass is make that Mass carry its own weight and chase you around and play lots of reps. Miami is different though, than when they played SMU and Louisville in terms of rotation. You got Mark, you got Marquise Lightfoot beating double teams.

[Dan Le Batard]

Now Mass kicks ass. The. The thing that I thought that was confusing as, and there are a number of them is Chambliss. The first time he played Georgia was 1 for 10 in the fourth quarter. In this fourth quarter, he's like the best player in the sport. Like in this, in this third and fourth quarter against Georgia, you're looking at him and you're like, you need to redo the Heisman voting.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Like, that's 100%. If the Heisman was held today, he'd win.

[Adrian Peterson]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Because that, that performance was.

[Chris Cody]

If he was eligible to enter the NFL draft, what would people be Saying.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Well, he's going to. He's trying to apply for an extra year. He is eligible to enter the NFL draft. I asked a front office person and I don't know. He. He's six foot one, which can. You can get away with in that league, but he's going to have to put on some pounds. But I think he's an NFL player. No doubt.

[Dan Le Batard]

I mean, those were NFL throws that.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

His arm is so live.

[Dan Le Batard]

Dude, that looked like. That looked like Cam war. But it's not just. No, it's just not. It's not how hard he's throwing it, obviously. It's. It's the accuracy. 30 yards downfield where he's got a receiver that's covered.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

He did like kind of. You ever see that movie Wanted with Angelina Jolie?

[Chris Cody]

Oh, he's where they hold the bullet.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Like. Yeah, like he did.

[Chris Cody]

Like he's able to do that.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

But so much. I knew you didn't watch so much mustard on that thing. It kind of like went, you know.

[Chris Cody]

About that bullet, Dan, where it goes around the one person or like a pole maybe, and it hits the person he wants.

[Adrian Peterson]

One of my big goals for 2026 is just less money stress. How about that? I've got a kid now and I want to start a real travel fund, knock down some debt and not feel like every surprise expense is a mini heart attack, which I've had about 11 now since the holidays. Managing your money doesn't have to be a struggle this year. Monarch is the all in one personal finance tool designed to make your life easier. It brings your entire financial life, budgeting, accounts and investments, net worth and future planning together into one dashboard on your laptop or phone. Start the new year on the right foot financially. After the chaos of the holidays, Monarch has been my full financial reset. I can actually see what I'm spending, set realistic budgets and track goals. I'll stick with past February. It even tells me what goals are doable based on our real numbers, which I desperately need. The weekly recaps alone keep me honest even when I'm sleep deprived. Like the last three days, the baby has been absolutely insane. But Monarch helps me know that I'm financially okay. Monarch help users save over 200 bucks per month on average. After joining this new year. Achieve your financial goals for good. Monarch is the all in one tool that makes proactive money management simple all year long. Use code [e-mail] for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first [e-mail] with.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Code dan hey, Jeremy. Happy holidays.

[Dan Le Batard]

Happy Januka.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

I want to toast you. Actually, I don't. I will toast with you. Okay. We're co workers, friends. You could say. No, we cannot say that. But we both enjoy an ice cold Miller Lite.

[Mike Ryan]

That's true.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Especially around the holidays. You know, it's a 50th anniversary of Miller Lite. It's really amazing every time we say that. I can't believe it. Well, it's crazy because, like, they've basically been partners with the Dan LeBatard show for half of their existence. Wow. When I put it to you that way. We got an old ass show. Yeah, we do. That's crazy. Hey, let's look around at our friends, not each other. And our family, even though they're not here. I do miss your brother, though. Yeah, I know. I'll bring him back and take that first sip, look around and know that we made the right decision. When it comes to a domestic light lager, Miller Lite is the best. And it's the holiday season, as we mentioned. Why don't you enjoy that holiday season by drinking a beer that won't weigh you down? The original light beer since 1975. Still hidden different 50 years later. Brewed for flavor with simple ingredients like malted barley, rich balanced toffee notes, and that iconic golden color that you can see from across a room. The best holiday beers are the ones you don't expect. Miller Lite great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

[Chris Cody]

So everyone's deploying AI agents now. They're automating tasks, running workflows, making decisions, basically moving faster than anyone can keep up with. And when they work, it's great. But when they don't, they delete the wrong files, make changes you didn't authorize, or just go completely rogue. That's the scary part of AI. It lets you move fast and break way more things in way less time. Rubric Agent Cloud is the only platform that allows you to monitor, govern and rewind AI agent actions. One platform to help you unleash more agents faster without the risk it's running in the background the whole time, giving you full visibility, enforcing guardrails, and making sure agents don't go off script. This is why hospitals, banks are turning to a rubric. Agent Cloud. It's real AI resilience that doesn't slow innovation. If your business relies on AI agents, you need the ability to modern govern and rewind their actions. Right now, Le Batard show listeners get exclusive early access to Rubric Agent cloud. Head to rubrik.com that's R U B R-I K.com rubric.com Don LeBatard my algorithm on Instagram is Dance All Boobs.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Stugats.

[Chris Cody]

It's a good algorithm. This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats.

[Dan Le Batard]

You're already sick of Trinidad Chambliss time. Yeah, I am.

[Chris Cody]

That's right.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's. We just got back from the new year.

[Chris Cody]

I know. And you guys are talking about him like he, he. He's guaranteed to just run this steamroll. Have you watched the Hurricanes defense?

[Dan Le Batard]

Because Miami's back. And this is what it sounds like. It sounds like Michael Irvin. It sounds like Miami's getting throaty. It sounds like you're going to have to hear about this for. For the entirety of the week because we want you to hate all of it by Thursday. Otherwise it doesn't feel like it used to.

[Chris Cody]

We trust more Keynes defense or Trina Chambers.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, getting rid of it quickly, I do not trust. I mean, if you neutralize. If you neutralize their edge rush, which Ohio State, like, it's not like they don't know what needs to be stopped. Okay. They've won two games on defense. They've won two games on Ruben Bane as a first round pick. Obviously one of the rare defensive players that you're always circling and always watching because there's the chance then you can. There. There are a couple of guys. Miles Garrett does this. Miles Garrett did it yesterday to break the sack record. Where, you know, a man who's physically stronger than everyone else also can get lower quicker than you cutting the corner. He's just getting. All he's doing is running from where he is to your quarterback. There's nothing impeding him because you can't.

[Adrian Peterson]

A massive statue.

[Chris Cody]

I can't get around this guy.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, but. So, so I don't want to get spoiled or numb to this, okay? Miles Garrett broke the sack record at a time in the NFL where guys aren't sitting back there for five seconds anymore. Everyone's getting rid of the ball fast because they're scared of Miles.

[Chris Cody]

Gary, I want to hear about that. That's a fake sack record.

[Adrian Peterson]

What are you on about?

[Chris Cody]

What do you mean, what am I on about?

[Adrian Peterson]

What are you on about?

[Chris Cody]

That's a fake sack record.

[Adrian Peterson]

It's got some cockamamie thing you're doing.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Why? Why?

[Dan Le Batard]

Why?

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Yeah, Just why? Tell me.

[Chris Cody]

Okay. Am I talking to Mike Ryan, who pretends he's a Browns fan? I'm not.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

I'm not a Browns fan. I'm not.

[Chris Cody]

Okay.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

What are you throwing?

[Chris Cody]

I'm just making sure. I'm just making sure.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Look, look, guy, I'm riding high. Let's move on.

[Chris Cody]

Miles Garrett. Miles Garrett gets the fake sack record yesterday. He surpasses T.J. watt and Strahan in a 17th game. All right, Those guys were only allowed to play 16 games. So not only did he get the record in a seven. Like, how do we not acknowledge that he had more games?

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Totally fair.

[Chris Cody]

And it's not like. It's not like he surpassed the sacred block. Three sacks or four sacks, one sack.

[Mike Ryan]

In the final game work you're doing.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

We're acknowledging. Yes.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

You can count to one, and you can count to one.

[Chris Cody]

And let's just all. You know, let's just say the quiet part out loud.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Joe Burrow took a dive with a. Joe Burrow took a dive on. Did you see Mina's tweet about the. Miles's get off on. That sack was the fastest in the league also on a sack.

[Chris Cody]

What does that have to do with Joe Burrow taking a dive?

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Like, two tenths of a second to take. Like, I don't think he processed that he was taking a dive.

[Chris Cody]

Maybe Miles Garrett touched Joe Barrow with a finger and Miles Garrett and Joe Burrow just went to ground.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Seen what Miles Garrett looks like?

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Touching him with the finger might send him to the ground.

[Mike Ryan]

The funniest part to me was watching Myles Garrett's teammates try to avoid touching him. Like, this is not me. I don't want any part of this. That's.

[Chris Cody]

His sack was so obvious. A dive by Joe Burrow.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

So are you saying he pulled Brett Favre?

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Okay. Absolutely. It was not that bad.

[Mike Ryan]

It was not as bad. If I was a 10, that was a 5.

[Chris Cody]

Miles Garrett wasn't even near him.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

So you can count to one. I'm not sure. You can count to a second because it takes way less than that.

[Chris Cody]

That's super true right there.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

All right, well, T.J. watt, you mentioned him, 22 and a half sacks.

[Chris Cody]

That's right.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

You know how many snaps he played?

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't know.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Why would you. 618. Okay. Michael Strahan, 22 and a half sacks. You know how many snaps he played? Why would you. 567. Okay. You're big on the extra game.

[Chris Cody]

Of course.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

22 sacks for Miles Garrett. 437 snaps.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

You're a fool.

[Mike Ryan]

He's lazy. You're a sucker. Why is he playing so little?

[Chris Cody]

I mean, that's picking and choosing stats. Like what? Okay, so.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

So that's what I'm choosing. When you can count to one and say you had an extra game, but he had 200 fewer snaps to get this.

[Chris Cody]

Okay, so when a quarterback gets the passing record, do we then look at how many attempts he had compared to the quarterback that he passed before? He only had this many times, so he's. This is more impressive. We don't do that.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

He had 200 fewer chances.

[Mike Ryan]

Why did he come out of the game so much?

[Chris Cody]

Maybe it was less snaps because he can't handle full load.

[Adrian Peterson]

How about that?

[Mike Ryan]

I want to criticize Miles Garrett now.

[Chris Cody]

Play more.

[Dan Le Batard]

Question just to be clear, if you're not familiar with the place, because it is funny that we just lose context in the moment. Myles Garrett has been playing nowhere football in that dumpster fire in Cleveland, giving his hall of Fame excellence to a true turd of a franchise that has wrecked everything over the last few years around him. His body hurts. He's been through a car accident. I'm not sure how much he actually wanted to be there, but he took all of the money and stayed there. And they were every bit as bad as you think they would. And the great joy of their season is just wrecking Cincinnati and trying to wreck Pittsburgh at the end. But when you talk physically about what this human being is and the toll that that takes on the body, there were five minutes remaining in that game. And anyone who was watching it was only watching it to see if Burrow would give up a sack to Myles Garrett.

[Chris Cody]

Oh, and he did.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, he gave it up. But he got there so fast, at least in part, because Myles Garrett has never wanted anything in his life as bad as he wanted to do something in those five minutes, which is the last of what he had on the season. If people don't understand what it takes to be great at that sport physically, that dude, this is how I will tell you what. You can give me Lawrence Taylor and. And Reggie White and everyone else, and I'll understand. But for the modern age on how they're playing football, my proof is, look at him. Just look at, look at, look at that left tackle paid higher than anyone in the sport to keep him out of the backfield, who, as soon as he leans on him, the left Tackle cannot do anything about it. He's going to be at Burrow in two seconds. He's. He's sacked him 11 times the last couple of times they've played because he's an unblockable human being. It's asinine. What that guy. Look, there are some physical specimens in that sport. Nobody cares because it's Tennessee. But Jeffrey Simmons. Like, I don't understand how that man is that much stronger than everyone else and that much faster. No one cares about the Titans. But what Miles Garrett did physically in that league after 17 games at the end of that nowhere season, I can't imagine how bad he wanted that sack at the end to get that gladiator moment. It's the best moment he will ever have as a Cleveland Brown. There will be none better than that. That is best moment of his career now and forever more. Because he'll. His excellence will be swallowed by what? That dumpster fire?

[Mike Ryan]

If he wanted the record that bad, why wouldn't he play more? I'm confused why he didn't play more.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Plays the snaps like, just like did.

[Mike Ryan]

They just wrote like they just wanted.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

I think they would argue that they probably get more out of them in certain situations.

[Mike Ryan]

I agree.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

It's ridiculous.

[Chris Cody]

I gotta be honest. You throwing the snap count in there, like, I mean, it's such a weak move.

[Mike Ryan]

That's such a good point, though, because I'm.

[Dan Le Batard]

I was with you.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm like, games.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

You said one more game.

[Chris Cody]

How can you make so much more important?

[Jonathan Zaslau]

What then? 200 more opportunities?

[Chris Cody]

The extra game gives literally the extra game.

[Mike Ryan]

You don't know how to bring him the opportunity. Full with snaps, though. You can only play snaps in these games.

[Chris Cody]

I understand how that works. All right. But literally, like, it's undebatable. Without the extra game, he doesn't get the record.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Jazz, I'm sorry to tell you this. You're embarrassing yourself. It's happened. You've done it. You've stuck your foot in your mouth.

[Chris Cody]

If there was not a 17th game, there's a yes or no question. It's real simple.

[Mike Ryan]

Played at least naps in those. At least.

[Chris Cody]

I think it's simple. Okay, maybe it's not as simple. Maybe this is a different brain than the brain over there. If Miles Garrett did not have a 7. If the Cleveland Browns at the NFL didn't play a 17th game in week 18 yesterday. Yes or no? Yes or no is Miles Garrett's the sack king?

[Jonathan Zaslau]

This is sad.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes or no?

[Jonathan Zaslau]

I don't even. This is sad. The answer Is, no, I'm sad for you.

[Chris Cody]

And it doesn't matter how many snaps he took, because the answer still.

[Mike Ryan]

But the snaps I feel like do matter.

[Chris Cody]

So. So if they didn't play the game yesterday, would you been coming here talking about he's the sack king, even though he has half a sack less than the record because he has less snaps. What kind of stupid.

[Mike Ryan]

When I heard that, when I heard he only had that few snaps, I would have been like.

[Chris Cody]

You would make that case.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

I would be like, the games provide the extra snaps.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

But if he had more snaps than the other guys, it'd be like, yeah, you're onto something, because that's obvious.

[Chris Cody]

So if he didn't have the extra game and he was half a sack fewer than Strahan, and what, you would sit here and say, zaslow, I know he doesn't have more sacks, but he did this in so many fewer snaps.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

So keep engaging you.

[Mike Ryan]

What's more important? I'm embarrassing the record games.

[Chris Cody]

I'm so embarrassed for you, Mike Ryan, that I'm going to stop.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

I'm. Okay.

[Mike Ryan]

What's more important, games or snaps? That's what we're debating.

[Chris Cody]

I'm embarrassed for you. Well, clearly, games is more important because he knew the snapshot.

[Mike Ryan]

I would argue if you had 900.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Snaps in eight games, you big 72 Dolphins guy.

[Chris Cody]

I mean, whatever.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Are you a big 72 Dolphins guy?

[Chris Cody]

No, not really.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

No. You better not be, because you're a games guy.

[Chris Cody]

Okay. I'm just. I'm embarrassed for you, though. I'm still embarrassed, just like I was a minute ago.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

I'm a Goodyear Cobble Classic champion. You don't have to worry about me, all right?

[Dan Le Batard]

You're a Peach bowl breath. You. You put on the poll at LeBatard show. Can Myles Garrett really be the sack king if it's one extra game? And also put on the poll at LeBatard, is Myles Garrett the sack king because he did it in fewer snaps? Crazy, because I don't actually even know if Myles Garrett maybe, like, missed some time. Was. Was he injured at all? Did he miss. Did he miss games?

[Jonathan Zaslau]

I'm still not even 100% sure the set is real because it was so shocking. I kept googling it. I kept googling it.

[Chris Cody]

Usually you're unsure if stats are real because they don't matter.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't want to do this anymore with you guys. He's an unblockable human being, and if you tell me he's the second greatest.

[Mike Ryan]

Let'S not forget what he did to Billy at Radio Row.

[Dan Le Batard]

They don't have anyone else. People, please understand that every game plan, every week is just please don't let that man wreck our quarterback. Also, I want to point out to people this happened during the break. Why was it reported by Adam Schefter all of a sudden that the Dolphins had offered four first round picks to the Bengals for Joe Burrow, for the rights to draft Joe Burrow? Where did that come from? Why was that out there at the time that it was out there? Who.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Because they were playing. They were playing the Bengals and so it was Burrow playing against the Dolphins. And that was just an added storyline for it. You know, you had to get people to watch that game. So that's Adam Schefter doing the league a solid. We did have some breaking news as we were talking about Trinidad Chambliss and his NFL prospects, provided he gets an additional year. That waiver from the NCAA is being reported that he's agreed to return to Ole Miss. Hinging on that waiver.

[Chris Cody]

God, enough of this. Trinidad Chambers.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Per Jordan Schultz, the Titans have requested to interview Chiefs offensive coordinator Matt Nagy for their vacant head coaching position.

[Dan Le Batard]

Did you want to do the carousel? I thought you were going to break in with your Pete Fairbanks news.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

That was Pete Fairbanks aside with the Biob Marlins.

[Mike Ryan]

They spent money, $13 million on that guy.

[Chris Cody]

He throws hard.

[Mike Ryan]

That's the story there. More than Pete Fairbanks, the Marlins spent.

[Dan Le Batard]

Guys, this guy is one of the best characters in baseball. I love hearing him interviewed so much. He seems to be flamboyantly weird and enjoys it and throws 107 miles an hour and some of it's in the strike zone.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

What's great about Pete Fairbanks is not only is he like one of the best relievers in baseball, but now as the weirdo that you're about to hear, he might still be the second weirdest guy in that bullpen because they have a guy who slaps himself in the face before every time he comes out of the bullpen. But Fairbanks is equally as weird as he is dominant on the mound.

[Dan Le Batard]

We were playing in our new house in the pool and I pulled the pool basketball hoop down onto my face after dunking on a three year old to, you know, trying to teach him an early lesson in life that, you know, when you're in the paint, you cannot be caught awares unawares underneath the rim. And did that end up with me with the black eye? Yes.

[Mike Ryan]

So I love this.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Marlon should spend money on that stadium.

[Dan Le Batard]

We'll get to that in a second because I do want to talk about the Winter Classic, but just the Fairbanks signing is a wonderful one because I can't wait for this guy to get in front of cameras and be interviewed. He. He has been funny even after games when he's been terrible. No, I thought it generally sucked. I didn't think it was a specific suck. I thought it was like an all encompassing type of suck. So, you know, we're going to try and rectify that, but for right now, I'm going to be pretty pissed about it.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

That looks like Rose there.

[Dan Le Batard]

He does does.

[Mike Ryan]

Same nose Rose.

[Chris Cody]

But how many pitches did he suck in? Because if it was fewer pitches that he sucked, that's more important than someone who pitches a lot more and sucks.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Right?

[Dan Le Batard]

You're gonna keep.

[Mike Ryan]

You don't want to play this.

[Dan Le Batard]

You're gonna keep doing this to Miles Garrett today, the Browns. Are you disputing what I'm saying? That this is the greatest moment Miles Garrett will have in his career? He will not have a better one in that uniform.

[Chris Cody]

Oh, well, no. In that uniform. That'll be his best moment.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Chris Cody]

He'll probably play for somebody else at some point.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

But hard contract to move famously.

[Dan Le Batard]

And in that. Look, man, throughout sports, we are seeing the age of mastery. LeBron James, Shohei Ohtani, just Keantae Scott. Sheer lunacy throughout sports. We are witnessing it, are we not?

[Mike Ryan]

Are we not?

[Dan Le Batard]

We're living this. You don't view this as a form of mastery.

[Chris Cody]

He's probably the best defensive player in football. I'm not disputing that. I'm telling you that he had to get a record in extra games, and the quarterback who he got it against took a dive.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's it.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

There was a play. They ran a pick back. Devin Bush ran a pick back, a pick six, and Miles Garrett had the speed to help nuke the play at the line of scrimmage. Incredible catch up to Devin Bush, who was like, hey, do you want this touchdown? Just to help boost your argument for deep point. He's like, now, go ahead. Well, he threw a block and killed somebody. It was incredible feat of athleticism. That was just so casual.

[Dan Le Batard]

He. He missed the block, actually, because he was running around in circles. Just his speed and athleticism was just sort of circling around the big six.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Casually pulled back up to Devin Bush. No, you should take it. I'll take it. You should take.

[Dan Le Batard]

But I think he wanted Miles Garrett to block. That was almost not a pick six because Miles Garrett was just sort of do si doe around the pick six.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

He was like, hey, you want this? And Miles Garrett literally goes like. Like, I don't. Like he's pondering.

[Chris Cody]

No one is telling you Miles Garrett is incredible. I'll sit here and tell you is the best defensive player in the game.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay, that's not even what I'm saying. Because you're measuring him against. Now, what I'm saying is if we're living in an age of mastery and you concede to me that the left tackle is more athletic and 360 pounds and bigger and stronger than he's ever been, and the quarterback's getting it out faster than he ever has. This is the best you've ever seen at getting back there. Everyone knows he's the one that's got. He's the one that's got to be blocked ever that year after year after year. Everyone knows he's the one that's got to be blocked. For him to have that year this year on a defense that is okay because he has that year, like, this is the best you've ever seen. And I don't think that's prisoner of the moment.

[Chris Cody]

That is by far a superior point than your less snaps in 17 games. Nonsense. Okay, that right there, I understand, but it's still. He needed the extra game to get the sack. But everything you just said, I can jive.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

The good thing about points is you can pick and choose and form like an entirely new point using all this data that is important.

[Chris Cody]

Are you effing with me?

[Adrian Peterson]

All right. Kicking things off with smearing off the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world, Chris Cody, you're here. Wow, you're on the money with smeared off Chris. You know what goes great with Smirnoff? Yes, but I'm really talking about the game game day fit. The style's gotta match the vibe. All right, here's the deal.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Game day is everything.

[Adrian Peterson]

And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin, Matthew and Aleli may smear it off. Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize. A trip to the biggest game of the off season. Plus, one fan will win a Laylee May one of one game day jacket.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Wow.

[Adrian Peterson]

The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21st. And it's all courtesy of what brand? That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of smirnoff vodka, number 21 at your local retail. Please drink responsibly.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Smear it off.

[Adrian Peterson]

Number 21, vodka distilled from grain 40 alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking aid, Smirnoff. No purchase necessary. Must be legal. US receptors resident 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12152025 at 12:00am Eastern and ends 1232026 at 11:59:59pm Eastern. See official rules at program website.

[Chris Cody]

Don Le Ball Football, football.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Football football St.

[Chris Cody]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

That was the second best pick six of the weekend. The best being Keante Scott picking off Julian say and and talking shit to the Ohio State sideline the entire run back. All to end it with the Jim Thorpe award. Pose in the end zone with turf toe.

[Dan Le Batard]

I want to go back again and give you have you guys give me a Mount Rushmore because I don't think Scott can go in that discussion yet. Although maybe in retrospect we will think about it that time. Ed Reed had a play years ago to HBC preserve an undefeated season at the goal line. He ran 90 yards with a football. The only game Miami would have lost that season. That goes in the pantheon, correct?

[Jonathan Zaslau]

May I? A sneaky submission here. CJ Daniels catch against Notre Dame ends up being like the most consequential catch in Miami history. Because they don't win the game without that catch. They don't get in the CFP without that catch. In retrospect, that catch becomes even greater than it was in the moment.

[Chris Cody]

I got Dorsey de Shockey.

[Dan Le Batard]

So that was the rejuvenation of the program. That feels not unlike this one. When I say they came back from probation and then they beat Florida State. Last drive of the game type stuff. Dorsey to Shockey and then Elder and it births all the tight ends that would come after Shockey. Because once you get one and once you get it rolling and once the business of it gets rolling, you're in Miami. Everybody wants to live in Miami. Why wouldn't it be a giant program? It's a better place to live than Wisconsin. Like why? Why wouldn't all the football players want to be around here year round playing at Miami? That's Crystal Ball's advantage. It Always has been. And now it's also no state income tax because we're playing that game now too. In the business of we have the most expensive quarterback. Like that's what they went out and got. Carson Beck and paid him a salary in the millions. I think it's been reported over $3 million. He's the highest paid player. Correct.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

You'll see some numbers out there. Like the one that's most out there is 4.2. Maybe it got there with incentives. It wasn't what it was.

[Dan Le Batard]

But he's not their best player or their most important player. They have first round picks along. The offensive and defensive will beat you. The other teams do not have that. The four remaining teams do not have that. Yeah. What is it?

[Chris Cody]

7 million on the offensive line.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's not four first round picks in the trenches.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Yeah. Miami has the best line of scrimmage left in the College Football Playoff with.

[Dan Le Batard]

A coach who just wants to hit you in the face with a mallet.

[Chris Cody]

I like it.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Yeah. He's had to learn to adapt. But we'll see if they can adapt again. I am worried about the ability to get rid of the ball quick and run tempo. It's always been.

[Dan Le Batard]

But why would you be worried if you have the Michael Irvin sound to carry with you in the huddle? Just shouting at anyone that'll listen. This is how. This is how Miami's gonna play football this week. What is that the sound of? If I didn't give you the context of what this is. If I just told you this is only an exclusively an audio experience. You do not have any context for this other than what is this sound?

[Mike Ryan]

Someone struggling to stay afloat. Like in. Like the ocean.

[Dan Le Batard]

You have it. Being a human being though.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

You do.

[Dan Le Batard]

Let's keep it. I think the ambient noise. The step again. Let's try and eliminate the stadium noise and just isolate the sound. I know we can't do this with audio right now, but I just ask you to close your eyes and imagine. What is this sound? I've given you no context. You don't know it's Michael Irvin with a belt on the sidelines spanking a cooler or whatever. You just know nothing thing.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

The witch at the end of the wizard of Oz.

[Chris Cody]

I think it sounds like someone's on fire.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Same thing while running. That's great.

[Dan Le Batard]

Actually. That's pretty good. Stop dropping. Roll. Roll. Yes. So there. Yeah. Someone has just emerged from a. Look. Oh, my God. That person from that building waving his arm. He's on fire.

[Chris Cody]

That's how I imagine it.

[Dan Le Batard]

Lay down, roll over.

[Chris Cody]

But he's not listening because he's on fire. So it's hard. His senses aren't picking up what you're saying.

[Mike Ryan]

Anyone beat that? I can't beat that.

[Dan Le Batard]

I want to do funniest thing from the time that we were off. And I also want to bang around the room here and ask you guys, what's the most interesting thing we weren't able to talk about over the last two weeks? Give me one thing and one thing only. Chris, Cody, we start. We begin the bidding with you. Hey, people, tell us what in sport.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Made you laugh hardest this weekend.

[Chris Cody]

It is the segment we call what.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Make you laugh this weekend. Ha ha ha.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm going with just the Patriots taking over the Dolphins again. They were bad. They had Brady, they were bad. And now they're back again. And it's annoying. This Drake May's good and the Dolphins stink. And for me, over the Brad, that's what I sat in the entire time.

[Dan Le Batard]

Is the Patriot run here something that you guys believe? America believes. Like, they have not lost very much. They have dragged the bottom of their division and they get to play against that other cruddy division that no one should be in the playoffs from, I think. So, like, nobody actually believes that that's going to be representing the AFC in the Super Bowl. Correct. Most people believe that Jacksonville can beat that and Houston can beat that and the Chargers might beat that and Denver might beat that. Correct. Or do you think that most people listening to this are saying, yeah, the Patriots are back. Drake May is indeed an mvp. He is somebody who's just as good as Josh Allen. I believe this is him. This is his signature moment. He's going to take down every team in the sport.

[Chris Cody]

I think they're on the same level right now as all of those teams you just mentioned Jacksonville, like, why would you believe more in Jacksonville or Denver than Drake May in New England? Like Drake. Drake May's the best quarterback of that group right there. So why would you believe in those teams more than New England?

[Dan Le Batard]

Because I haven't believed in New England all year and now it would require me to change my mind.

[Chris Cody]

But, like, you believe in Jacksonville all year.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, I haven't. I don't. I. It's not that I trust anyone in the afc, but I'm not doing this by definition the way that you're doing it, where it's like, oh, let me choose all the teams I don't trust. Those would be all the ones in the afc like, we can do that with every single one in the afc. You don't trust any of them. I guess the question I'm asking you is who do you mistrust the least? Because everyone listening to this is going to say, yeah, I could distrust Bo Nix, and yes, I could distrust the Patriots, and of course I could distrust Jacksonville. And the Steelers aren't any good. I know they're not any good. They're just another Mike Tomlin miracle. Oh, I've been watching the Houston Texans. The last nine games I was asleep while Davis Mills was saving their season. And now they've got the defense to beat anybody. And if the Chargers were actually healthy, they too could win the super bowl with Jonathan Zaslau's greatest coach ever, Jim Harbaugh.

[Chris Cody]

Why are you saying it like that?

[Dan Le Batard]

Because somebody said it that way on ESPN Radio this weekend on a show with you.

[Chris Cody]

Really?

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes. It was sad. Zas Lau.

[Chris Cody]

Did Trevor Matic call me Zas Lau?

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

I was embarrassed for whoever it was, but I did not know who it was. I'm sorry that they did that. They need to understand that you. Yours is a name that deserves respect. Thank you, Roy. What was the funniest thing from the.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Sports Weekend Kickers, Dan? Specifically in last night's game between the Ravens and Steelers? Because the Steelers season came down to two miss kicks.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's stupid, right? Right? That we decide games. This game, we're. We're going to agree that no other sport does it this way. Let's decide it at the end with a guy who doesn't play the sport that all the other guys play. Like it's a dumb way to do it, right? That Miles Garrett can't win because. Because at the end, soccer player comes out and plays a totally different sport.

[Chris Cody]

You see Derrick Henry's face when the kick was no good last night?

[Mike Ryan]

Him mouthing like he missed it.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

It's like if extra innings in baseball was a three point shoot up. It really is that different.

[Dan Le Batard]

We don't have anything like it. Right. Here's the game that would be if.

[Mike Ryan]

There were three point shots throughout the game, though sprinkled in like we do kick throughout the game.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Ole Miss has a good kicker.

[Dan Le Batard]

Really good.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Professional kicker. Going to get drafted.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

So do we. So do we.

[Dan Le Batard]

Mike Ryan, what was the funniest thing from the Sports Weekend?

[Jonathan Zaslau]

DK Metcalf punched a guy and then that guy had a press conference with a backwards flex fit hat. And I know you, Jonathan Zaslau definitely appreciated that. Look.

[Dan Le Batard]

What's wrong with that DK Metcalf came very close to costing Pittsburgh it season. Aaron Rodgers hit the end of his career, possibly. And instead Pittsburgh wins last night because a kicker comes out at the end. And by the way, Pittsburgh is no better or more playoff worthy today because one kick was missed by one kicker from 44 yards that he would have made 86% of the time. But now Pittsburgh season advances.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Weird. Myles Garrett and DK Metkin, they have these unprecedented body types and these weird fits of rages. I don't know what's going on.

[Mike Ryan]

Was this real, this Lions fan press conference? This seemed fake.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

No.

[Mike Ryan]

Let's play it for after this guy had an incident with DK Metcalf, he got a table together and did a press conference. Let's start this over, guys.

[Chris Cody]

But there's two things. Animal abuse, racism. Like, I get right away. Like, I could feel it in my face. It's all warm. So I guess I want to be crystal clear about one thing. I didn't use any racial slurs, no hate speech. I mean, none of that stuff at the game. Actually, never. 15 years, season ticket holder for the Lions. I've never done that at all.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

So.

[Chris Cody]

To Kalin, if you're watching this, we, man, just. If you could just say that, please. Like, my family's getting threats and stuff, and it's not cool. So whether you said that or not, I'm sure you didn't want that to happen to the family, even if you did. Like, I forgive you, man. Well, hold on, hold on.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Maybe I heard this.

[Mike Ryan]

Wrong lot to unpack there.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Did he just say that racism and animal abuse makes his face worse?

[Mike Ryan]

There's two things in this world, Roy.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

It's those two things. He hates those things. Wow.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's the part you seized on, Roy, of all of what was happening there. That's what you seized on? That he gave you a window into his soul by saying these are the two things that he cannot abide.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm getting hot just saying it now.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

I thought he did a convincing job of making me know that he cares about those things. Yeah, I got the hot face. It makes my face all warm. And he did have a little barb at DK by calling him by his given name. Well, but what happened there, according to some eyewitness reports, what set off the entire situation was that fan using DK's first name. And for him to use the opportunity at that presser to kind of kneel him one more time is funny.

[Dan Le Batard]

But we, we. We laugh at this. Did he cast. Did he cost himself $45 million in guarantees. Did he?

[Chris Cody]

Potentially. Potentially.

[Dan Le Batard]

I mean. I mean.

[Mike Ryan]

Yep.

[Jonathan Zaslau]

Yeah, we missed that. Glad we can talk about it.