The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz: "The Big Suey: Vocal Masturbation" (feat. David Samson)

Date: February 12, 2026

Main Theme & Purpose

Broadcast from the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami, this episode of "The Big Suey" showcases Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, and the crew—alongside recurring guest David Samson—offering wide-ranging commentary on sports, media, culture, and the idiosyncratic rhythms of their own lives. The episode deftly pivots between passionate debates on American patriotism in sports, critical evaluations of NBA Commissioner Adam Silver, commentary on the evolving WNBA labor landscape, and raw discussions about grief, growth, and love. It’s an energetic blend of the silly and the profoundly personal, filtered through the show's trademark irreverence and authenticity.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. On Awards, Podcasting, and Jenga Pieces

[01:13 - 03:10]

• David Samson discusses his and Coca’s podcast “Nothing Personal” being up for a "Ducky Award" in LA.
  • The comparison between essential team members is made:
    “Without Matthew Coca, Nothing Personal falls apart. Jenga.” – David Samson (01:23)
• Quips about the budget and legitimacy of podcast awards, poking fun at the show's internal hierarchies.

2. “Pipe Down”—Old-Fashioned Phrases & Modern Outrage

[03:10 - 08:27]

• Dan plays a clip of Boomer Esiason expressing anger at Olympians with mixed feelings about representing America, sparking a diatribe from Mike Ryan.

  • “Pipe down and just do their sport and play for our country and respect the flag... Shut up and ski.” – Dan Le Batard paraphrasing Boomer ([03:49])
  • Mike Ryan delivers an explosive, unfiltered rant on the double standards in sports patriotism:

    “Say it with your chest, you chicken shit... your MAGA coated bullshit that’s been going on for ten years... But you can’t tune in to the Winter Olympics... and you don’t want to be faced with the reality that maybe some people... aren’t exactly thrilled with how things are going in this country. And they are using their one moment, in most cases, to highlight that, because that is universally American. And you want them to shut up.” ([04:19-05:56])

• Phrase Origins Game:

  • The team debates old phrases (pipe down, shut your trap, put a sock in it, etc.) and learns that “pipe down” comes from a naval command meaning, essentially, “go below deck and quiet down.”
    • Mike Ryan: “So the boatswain’s pipe... was a signal to go below deck... piped down.” ([07:52])

3. Adam Silver & Leadership in the NBA

[08:48 – 11:27]

• Dan frames Silver’s trajectory: once seen as progressive and strong, now appearing as a “money-counter” lacking control over owners, unlike David Stern.
  • “He’s just somebody there who’s there to make money. He’s not actually in control of the owners, unlike his predecessor.” – Dan Le Batard ([10:34])
• Samson counters: leadership styles are a product of their era. Silver is now “job protection mode,” reflecting the reality that commissioners serve (and are ultimately beholden to) team owners.
  • “What we’re seeing with Adam Silver is that his baseline is that he is in job protection mode the way every commissioner is... David Stern was a bull in a china shop, where there were a bunch of porcelain pieces allowing him to act that way. Adam Silver recognizes he can't be that way.” – David Samson ([09:23, 10:55])

4. The Pablo Torre NBA Investigation Saga

[11:27 – 13:59, 17:44–19:42]

• Discussion of Pablo Torre’s in-depth reporting and podcast series on NBA corruption:
  • Le Batard notes the series, initially centered on one explosive “aspiration story,” continually uncovers new scandals, suggesting the problems are systemic.
    • “Anything else that he got after that would be just... the tip. But that aspiration was the iceberg. I’m beginning to think that Pablo’s gonna keep doing this... and that the $48 million of no show job... is just the start of it.” – Dan Le Batard ([11:27])
  • Samson: Once reporting is published, more tips come in, fueling continued investigative work; the NBA anxiously awaits each new release.
    • “When Pablo started with us on September 3, he did not know where there was. And that's the beautiful thing about investigative journalism...” – David Samson ([12:29])
  • They revisit content from the latest episode, focusing on the possibility of a "smoking gun" document proving salary cap circumvention, which could have drastic consequences for Steve Ballmer and the league.
    • “That would be the end of Adam Silver trying to avoid punishment.” – David Samson ([18:31])

5. Ownership, Ego, and the Mark Cuban/Mavericks Saga

[19:42 – 21:12]

• Mark Cuban may attempt to buy back the Mavericks; Samson outlines why, given financial and ego-related factors, such return moves are rare and often unsuccessful.
  • “You try to put yourself into positions of relevancy where it may not work as well... Owners want to get back, but... the financial reasons they sold still exist.” – David Samson ([20:08])

6. Words, Tongue-Twisters, and On-Air Fumbles

[21:12 – 22:52]

• The crew poke fun at themselves over mispronunciations and losing words while broadcasting, especially Samson’s producer Coca:
  • Clip: “Incense. Incense. Geez. In sense of... you got this.” – David Samson ([21:23])

7. Crisis, Loss, and Growth—A Candid Conversation

[22:17 – 29:13]

• Deep, personal exchange between Le Batard and Samson about how major crises—especially personal/familial illness and death—change one's identity, emotions, and view of life.
  • “I like the old me way better than the new me... I can walk around and all of a sudden start crying... I just can walk around and all of a sudden start crying... I am in the middle of trying to fight a fight that can't be won. I don't. Who wants to do that?” – David Samson ([22:52])
  • Le Batard, reflecting on his brother’s death:
    “I have more appreciation for life than I did before. I have more appreciation for the people I love than I did before.” ([28:06])
  • Samson is blunt:
    “I don't want to be where you are. I'm not interested actually in that sort of epiphany that you've had... It actually doesn't interest me.” ([28:59])

8. Pop Culture: James Van Der Beek’s Death & Cancer's Toll

[23:53 – 25:54]

• The passing of James Van Der Beek, its effect on Samson, and a candid look at the financial and emotional toll disease takes even on celebrities.
  • “People would assume, ‘Oh you’re a movie star, you must be rich’... that’s not the reality... [his family] just ran out of money because of how expensive it is to treat cancer.” – David Samson ([24:12])

9. Labor Trouble: Predicting the Next Pro League Work Stoppage

[30:27 – 33:13]

• Baseball is reporting, sports business swirl: Dan asks which league will lock out first. Samson predicts WNBA will have a work stoppage before MLB.
  • “The WNBA is a young league and what they are asking for is to be treated as though they are a mature league... they're going for too much too soon.” – David Samson ([31:02])
  • Highlights the different leverage points of women’s versus men’s unions in pro sports.

10. “Vocal Masturbation,” Solitude, and the Afterlife

[34:02 – 39:36]

• The crew jokes about how solitary broadcasting leads to talking to yourself—and stimulating your own interest (“vocal masturbation”).
  • “That’s an interesting question, David. I’m glad you asked me.” – Dan Le Batard, mocking Samson ([36:32])
• Discussion of the film “Eternity,” prompting the question: In the afterlife, would you choose to spend forever with your first love, your last love, or no one? Respondents are ambivalent; Samson admits he might just want to be alone.
  • “I can't do eternity with any love... If you have to do it forever, even first love then becomes forever boring last love.” – David Samson ([38:56])

11. Rooster Races and Mascot Madness

[40:04 – 41:33]

• Dan laments the end of the Miami ballpark rooster races, musing about the uniquely Miami tradition and the changing roles of stadium mascots.
  • “What's your problem with mascots? Like, I thought everybody loved mascots. And now they canceled that rooster race that was, I'm going to say uniquely Miami...” – Dan Le Batard ([40:04])
  • Banter ensues about Billy the Marlin, stadium traditions, and Mike’s weight loss ("Cock of the walk, baby." – Mike Ryan [41:33])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Mike Ryan’s Rant About Boomer Esiason and Patriotism:
  “Say it with your chest, you chicken shit... your MAGA coated bullshit that’s been going on for ten years... That is universally American. And you want them to shut up.” ([04:19–05:56])

• David Samson on Adam Silver:
  “Adam Silver had the support to get as close as he got, but now that has gone away. And so you’re seeing Adam Silver become a normal commissioner now. And for me, that’s good enough.” ([09:23])

• Le Batard on Grief and Growth:
  “I have more appreciation for life than I did before. I have more appreciation for the people I love than I did before.” ([28:06])

• Samson on Change and Loss:
  “I like the old me way better than the new me... I just can walk around and all of a sudden start crying...” ([22:52])

• Samson, on Eternity and Love:
  “I can’t do eternity with any love. And so choosing a first love or last love, if you have to do it forever... I assume even first love then becomes forever boring last love.” ([38:56])

Important Timestamps

• Opening Banter / Award Talk: 01:13 – 03:10
• Pipe Down, Patriotism Rant: 03:10 – 08:27
• Adam Silver Discussion: 08:48 – 11:27
• Pablo Torre Saga: 11:27 – 13:59, 17:44–19:42
• Mark Cuban/Mavericks Ownership: 19:42 – 21:12
• Crisis & Personal Change Discussion: 22:17 – 29:13
• James Van Der Beek / Cancer's Toll: 23:53 – 25:54
• WNBA / MLB Labor Tension: 30:27 – 33:13
• Vocal Masturbation, Love & Eternity: 34:02 – 39:36
• Mascot/Rooster Race Farewell: 40:04 – 41:33

Tone

Consistent with the show’s trademark blend: intensely opinionated, irreverent, quick-witted, and unafraid of uncomfortable emotional terrain. They toggle between absurdity (“vocal masturbation,” debate over old-timey slang) and gut-level honesty about loss, change, and the meaning of love and life after crisis. Samson’s melancholy is counterbalanced by the crew’s zesty banter—a testament to the show’s range.

Summary for the New Listener

This episode is a prime example of the Le Batard Show’s chemistry and ethos: unfiltered arguments about sports and society, deep dives with regular guests, and plenty of laughter at their own quirks. Whether it’s parsing the role of American patriotism in sport, dissecting the failings of NBA leadership, theorizing over eternal love, or grieving pop culture losses, the crew balances the grand and the granular, hilarious and heartfelt—often in the same breath.