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Dan Le Batard
the hard parts for you.
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Show Producer/Host
You are listening to the Dan levatar show in partnership with the draftkings sports app, now live in all 50 states.
Dan Le Batard
All right, we did it, everyone. We made it to Friday. Let's give it up for the weekend, everybody.
John
Yes.
Chris
All right. Us.
Dan Le Batard
All right. There we go. Look at this crew right here. I don't know if this group's worked together yet. We got Roy, Tony Amin, Chris, and of course, Dave Damacek. Hello, Dave. Back out on the west coast. Good to see you.
Dave Demichek
That's right. I'm right now three. Three hours behind all of you. And what's more, I woke up in the middle of the night. I'm playing hurt here. This is my Jordan flu game. I don't know what the hell happened to me. I wake up in the middle of the night and my toe is. I'm in excruciating pain, and then I have to limp down the stairs to do this show with you people today. And I don't know what the hell happened. I've reached an age now where I just. Random body parts just hurt real bad. But anyway, good to be with you now.
Dan Le Batard
It's fairly common to wake up, especially at our age. You wake up and you got the stuff. Stiff neck. All right. You sleep kind of weird. You sleep wrong. But the toe, the big toe, like the big toe injury. What could have possibly happened?
Dave Demichek
Exactly. That's my question. I'm mystified myself, baby.
Amin Elhassan
I once woke up with a rib contusion that lasted for like three or four days. I don't know what I did in bed, but it just. It just happens. Yes. There is an age where you can hurt yourself sleeping. And it's not even because I was thrashing violently or anything. I don't know. I just don't know.
Dan Le Batard
Are you a thrasher?
Amin Elhassan
Not really.
Dan Le Batard
I am.
Amin Elhassan
You thrash?
Dan Le Batard
Yeah.
Amin Elhassan
How does. How does. How does your wife feel about that?
Dan Le Batard
Were you going to call a white Tamra? You call white Tammer whatever.
Dave Demichek
She.
Dan Le Batard
She does not like. Matter of a Few nights ago, she was so mean to me in the middle of the night. A few nights ago, she.
Dave Demichek
I'm like.
Dan Le Batard
I'm sleeping peacefully. I'm enjoying my sleep. And all of a sudden she shoves me in my chest. And she goes. Not even, like, you know, like, rocking me. You know, just move. And wakes me up out of a dead sleep.
John
And I look at him, so mean.
Dan Le Batard
And then I roll over to the other side. She said I was taking up in the bed, which I don't necessarily agree with. Now, granted, I hug throughout the night. I hug a huge pillow. Why is that so funny?
DraftKings Announcer
What are you. Pregnant Body pillow.
Dave Demichek
Yeah, I hug a huge visual.
Dan Le Batard
Yes, I do. I have a body pillow that nobody else does that.
Amin Elhassan
No pregnant women do that.
Dave Demichek
Nightly threesome in the Zaslo Mance.
Dan Le Batard
So she. That also bothers her because she claims that. That as a result, I take up so much space in the bed. I hug a huge body pillow all throughout the night. Whatever. What am I supposed to do on my arm? I'm a side sleeper. What am I to do with my arms?
Roy Bellamy
How huge are you talking?
Dan Le Batard
Like it.
Roy Bellamy
Like length of the bed. Like, full length of the bed.
Dan Le Batard
Why would it be the length?
Roy Bellamy
So you can put your.
Dave Demichek
Does it have a name like Hanks's. Hanks's Ball, you know, Wilson and all of that. Like, it has a personification. Have you gone so far as to put a face on this pillow? Does it have some sort of character to Wilson?
Dan Le Batard
Also, coincidentally, how big is the pillow?
Dave Demichek
It's.
Dan Le Batard
It's really thick. And it probably goes from, you know, like, my neck to, I don't know, like, my knees.
Amin Elhassan
I don't like this.
Roy Bellamy
Okay, so not as long as you're fine.
Dan Le Batard
Like it says she hates it.
Dave Demichek
I imagine so.
Dan Le Batard
Whatever. She was mean, though. Just shoves me in the middle of the.
John
Move over.
Dan Le Batard
What the hell?
Dave Demichek
That's because all the affection is going into that pillow instead of her. I've proposed to my wife, and she has stiff arm. This idea. And I know it's not the most romantic, but I kind of like the way Lucy and Desi did it. I don't think it's the end of the world.
Dan Le Batard
And in fact, the two separate single beds, right?
Show Producer/Host
Yeah.
Dave Demichek
But I would propose because I snore and everything, and I think that's a lot to put up with. If the shoe were on the other foot, you know, I'd be out, I'd move on. But somehow she tolerates it. But yeah, Separate rooms. Is that the end of the World for lovers.
Dan Le Batard
I know couples who do that.
Amin Elhassan
Why stop there? Why don't do separate residences? And then you can still preserve the magic of like a knock in.
John
Hey, what's going on?
Amin Elhassan
Oh, man, it's all great to have you over and then is it okay if I spend the night? Like, yeah, and then, you know, it's on. That's great. I think a lot more marriages would last longer if people did not live together.
Chris
My grandparents slept in the same room but had single beds.
Dan Le Batard
Mine too.
Roy Bellamy
Wild Bill Cody and Nana Doogie.
Dan Le Batard
Mine too. They slept in the same room but had had single twin beds that were separate, which when I slept over, like, you know, we pushed together when I was a little kid.
Chris
My wife and I have recently sleep divorced. She's been sleeping in our guest room upstairs. It's because I snore.
Dan Le Batard
My wife's been threatening the sleep divorce for a long time.
Chris
My wife is loving it.
Amin Elhassan
She gave up the master bedroom.
Chris
Yeah. I mean, her clothes are still in there. And we will sleep together, like on vacation and stuff. We're not separate hotel room.
Amin Elhassan
Why weren't you the one who had to go to the guest room and she stayed in the mast bedroom?
Chris
That's a great question.
Amin Elhassan
You won that one.
Chris
Yeah, I did kind of win it.
Show Producer/Host
Wow.
Dan Le Batard
You know, about that love.
Roy Bellamy
He's got that hand.
Dan Le Batard
Got that love my way.
Dave Demichek
Always do it. Movies. Have you ever been required to go and sleep on the couch? That's always the TV movie.
Dan Le Batard
You're right. That's. That's never. No, that's. You're right. That is the TV movie punishment. I told you. I'm in the middle of a rewatch of Mad Men right now, and I'm at the point where Don and Betty are about to get divorced and Don slept on the couch. And it's like, I've never been banished to the couch.
Chris
If I was sleeping. If I'm sleeping on the couch, I'm drunk now.
Dan Le Batard
Is that because you. You can't make your way upstairs?
Chris
I'll just like.
Dan Le Batard
Because the snoring is extra violent when you're drunk.
Chris
Every once in a while I'll get home and it's like, oh, let me lay on the couch and watch show. Fall asleep. And then you wake up at like
Dan Le Batard
2am clothes and everything and just get into bed.
Amin Elhassan
If I got Bennett's to the couch, guess what? I'm getting recruited back in the middle of the night.
Roy Bellamy
Wow.
Dave Demichek
Look.
Chris
How about that?
Amin Elhassan
Getting that tap. Like, hey, how about that? Yeah.
Dave Demichek
Wow.
Dan Le Batard
I almost got into a Car accident on the highway this morning. What? My fault. Almost got into an accident. Again, not my fault is what it is. I'm an excellent driver. I'm very good at avoiding accidents. But, Chris, you had an incident, right?
Chris
I witnessed disgusting behavior on the highway this morning. And before I tell the story, it was not. Would anyone like to guess of just a hypothetical. What could I have seen that I would describe as disgusting?
Dan Le Batard
Someone. Someone mooned you in the backseat of the car?
Chris
I did not get mooned.
Amin Elhassan
Depending on who did it.
John
Yeah.
Roy Bellamy
Not bad.
Amin Elhassan
I'm going to guess I'm going to get. Someone was eating while driving.
Chris
Nope, not eating while driving. Someone before the show suggested someone was peeing out the wind. That's a bit extreme. It's actually not as bad as that would have been.
Roy Bellamy
Somebody was going to take an off ramp, flew off the. The off ramp, and then landed in front of your car.
DraftKings Announcer
Yeah, somebody littered, Roy.
Chris
You nailed it.
John
Hey.
Chris
But not just littered. Not just a standard littering. This was. I'm driving behind a car. All of a sudden, I see a Publix bag fly out the window. And it comes, like, at my windshield. And I'm just like, that's terrible to do, But I don't think that much of it. I'm like, maybe I'll see that once quarterly. I'll see somebody do something like that.
Amin Elhassan
Empty bag or.
Chris
Empty bag. It just flies out.
Roy Bellamy
Sometimes the wind grabs it. You know what I mean?
Chris
It kind of went right towards my.
Roy Bellamy
Sometimes the wind.
Dan Le Batard
Gum.
Roy Bellamy
Exactly Right.
Chris
So then I'm like, all right, that's just. I don't like this person. But it's. I'm not blown away by that yet. And then I keep driving. Less than 30 seconds later, a soda.
Dan Le Batard
Like a.
Chris
Like, from a fountain drink that you would get at, like, publix or any place with a lid on it. Just tossed out the same car, the
Amin Elhassan
same window with soda.
Chris
I mean, yeah. Like, it hits the ground and you see some liquid come out of it.
DraftKings Announcer
What an asshole.
Chris
And I'm just like, what work?
Dan Le Batard
So what did I do?
Chris
And that was it.
Dan Le Batard
So what do I do?
Chris
I speed up.
Show Producer/Host
Damn.
Chris
Right next to him. And I just stare. I admonish them with my look. I'm shaking my. They have very tinted windows, so I don't have confirmation that they saw me, but in my mind, they did. And I did my part of aggressively shaking my head at them.
Amin Elhassan
Hey, look, this is what I would do. I would have pulled up, I would roll down my window, I would honk the horn and then you have children listening to this right now. Earmuffs. I say, hey, Face, you got. You have to address them as.
Dan Le Batard
Have you ever rolled down the window and addressed someone as Face?
Amin Elhassan
Yes.
Dan Le Batard
Really?
Chris
On the highway, though, Like, I don't think they're going to hear me. Their window's not down, so I'm really just mouthing it.
Amin Elhassan
That's all it takes. That. That look right there.
Dan Le Batard
I wonder what he said.
Amin Elhassan
Is he wishing me a happy birthday?
Chris
But I was just blown away by that. Like, back to back, just on the high. And it wasn't like cu. We were in the left lane. It wasn't like. Not that this would make it better. You throw it out the driver's side that way. It's like getting to the side of the road.
DraftKings Legal Announcer
No, no, no.
Chris
This was out the passenger side to the middle of the highway, both of them. And I'm just like, you don't give
Roy Bellamy
up to Chris's point. You always want to see the face of the culprit, though.
Show Producer/Host
Yeah.
Roy Bellamy
You always do. You can't let them go by without you seeing exactly who did it. Somebody cuts you off, somebody makes a stupid move in traffic, you're like, I got to go see who that person is.
Amin Elhassan
And then have some sort of. Either racist or sexist or.
Roy Bellamy
Exactly right.
Amin Elhassan
Of course. It's one of those.
Dan Le Batard
Now, is this because you're anti Litt? It was dangerous.
John
Oh, no.
Chris
This is just gross behavior. Like, it didn't. I didn't affect my. Like, I didn't have to sw.
Dan Le Batard
I. I try very hard not to ever.
Chris
And I'm seeing people in the chat here saying, chris looks like he'd be a litterer. I am not a litter. And maybe I do look like I'd be one. It was one of the things. My dad, from a very early age was a. He would more than anything when I was younger. Like, he hated littering, so he instilled that in me early. I am an anti litterer. I have. I've already admonished my daughter for times where I'm like, are you leaving that? No, that's littering.
Amin Elhassan
So you're like the Japanese fans at the World cup where after the game, grab a plastic bag and they start picking their own trash.
Dan Le Batard
I love that. Now, now, littering. Okay, where do we draw the line then on littering? Because if you are. If you're chewing gum is spitting it out into the bushes. Littering.
Amin Elhassan
Yes, it is.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah.
Amin Elhassan
No, no, I'm not.
DraftKings Announcer
Animals can eat that.
Amin Elhassan
Yeah. And also.
Dan Le Batard
So you give Them a nice treat.
Chris
That's a play on for me.
Roy Bellamy
Witty eats every single piece of gum he's ever had. He's still living.
Jeff Halfley
It's fine.
Amin Elhassan
Wait, what I missed?
Roy Bellamy
Witty has chewed.
Dan Le Batard
Oh, you're saying he swallows it.
Roy Bellamy
He eats every single piece of gum he's had. So foul guy still around kicking? You tell me a squirrel is going to eat, something's going to die.
Dan Le Batard
Come on, Dave, when's the last time you were chewing gum swallowed?
Dave Demichek
Not since childhood. I was told it. It resides within you for decades on end. It's sort of like getting sucked into, you know, the. The way Boba Fett met his death, you know, he fell into the Sarlacc pit and was slowly digested over a thousand years. Which is. I've said before and we'll say again, that sounds a lot worse than it probably is. Because once you're in the Sarlacc pit, like Boba Fett was, you know, you get digested. You're probably dead after about 18 hours. Right? Like so, like getting digested over the next thousand years is no matter to you. You've already left your mortar coil. But anyway, I don't want to get
Chris
distracted by the way YouTube chat. It's not litter. What I did in the stairwell months back, putting the Starbucks cup there. It's inside a stairwell that is not littering.
Amin Elhassan
Okay, now you've lost me.
Chris
So there was inside. It's not littering. It's just leaving trash out.
Roy Bellamy
Okay, so there was a time where we have a specific stairwell in the back there that we go out to get to the parking garage. And there's a certain person here that always gets a certain cup from a certain.
Dan Le Batard
What does their name rhyme with?
Roy Bellamy
Whis. Brisk and this peach.
Chris
I'm gonna speed this up. It was raining one day. I was going down the stairwell. I had my cup in my hand. I was going to my car. It was raining. I'm like, you know what? I don't want to walk out there with a. In the rain with a cup. So I left my cup on the stairwell. Did I leave it there a couple days? Yes, but it's not literally.
Roy Bellamy
It was there for months.
Amin Elhassan
It started growing a whole new civilization. And like they developed, they learned how like to interstellar travel and stuff.
Chris
At that point I was just interested.
Roy Bellamy
They had the combustible engine.
Amin Elhassan
Museums and parks. It's crazy scientists.
Dave Demichek
I don't want to get up on Malpai about this. I don't. You know, I hail Chris because I too like to roll down A window. I'm not as aggressive as Amin is. I go, champ, hey, Champ, you know another grown up is now going to have to come and clean up your mess that you just made. Champ, I think is is nice and demeaning without giving away my emotion to him means is more aggressive. And now the guy you're talking to has already won in this back and forth.
Amin Elhassan
It's funny, Dave, because like, I don't usually reach that level. Usually my move is to smile and wave, like to be extra nice because it's so condescending.
Chris
I like Champ though. That' nice one.
Amin Elhassan
That's a great, that's a great condescension. But if you're on the highway and someone. My thing is this. I'm not even so much about. Hey, littering is bad. It's like, why'd you have to do it now? What, are you gonna go pick up your mom? It's like this place is a pigsty. Like, I gotta get this clean. Like just wait until you stop or you go somewhere then litter at a safe like speed.
Mike Ryan
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Roy Bellamy
DJ Laz is playing Gulo in the background by Pitbull.
Chris
Here's Dave Demi and he's like hey guys, Pittsburgh.
Show Producer/Host
All right.
Dan Le Batard
Everybody's like.
Dave Demichek
He goes what is this guy?
Show Producer/Host
Dave Demichek?
Chris
He goes what TVs the Penguins game on. Who the hell is this guy?
Show Producer/Host
This is the Dan Levatar Show.
Dave Demichek
I'm curious. You know the striking element of Chris's story is, is that there was a sequence to it. One garbage and then several seconds later more garbage strewn. A line you could follow to catch this criminal. Have have any of you zaz specifically have you ever made your love in such a way that you come in the door and then like in the movies again, that's a, that's a big thing you see is the clothes strewn all the way from the first floor up the staircase all the way. Have you ever had an experience like that where after, after that post coit you have to go and retrieve your
Chris
clothing or you sweep table to do it.
Amin Elhassan
Oh that one. You ever try to do that one? I see the the clothes one day doesn't happen because it it in the movies it's like you're kissing and they're like but they're still moving.
Chris
Like I can't stop kissing while I take off my pants.
Amin Elhassan
It's not it's not realistic but the clear off the table one cuz it's so dramatic and it's meant to like impress upon the other.
Chris
Like an office desk.
Dan Le Batard
We.
Chris
Can you come to my office?
Amin Elhassan
We're about to do this. And like, oh, so, so, So I tried it and it's like, what happened?
Dan Le Batard
Office.
Chris
I tried it.
Amin Elhassan
It was not office. Like, it was my desk. My desk at home. But like, I tried it, but it was just like, it wasn't a clean sweep.
Chris
It killed the mood.
Amin Elhassan
Cause it wasn't a clean sweep. It was like things came off like three or four at a time.
Dan Le Batard
Shit's gonna break.
Amin Elhassan
And then I did move it. And then I started, like, sweeping back and forth. And then like, when. All right, now it's clear. I looked around at the ground everywhere, and it's just debris. And I'm like, God damn, I gotta have to clean this up.
Chris
I couldn't concentrate.
Dave Demichek
I'm a more vigorous lovemaker than you, apparently. I mean, and I'm not surprised to hear that. That I do draw the line at breaking stuff. Often movie characters will. When they clear off a table, they'll throw away an entire meal and it'll crash on the floor. They'll rip a shirt open. That's where I would be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. How far are we going? Let's settle down here. There's no reason to destroy property here. While we're at this. I though also have had such an experience. In fact, post coitus, I once said, a woman once said to me, like, I can't find my underpants or something to that effect. And I said, oh, they're under the couch. With your dignified dignity.
Amin Elhassan
Cold blooded.
DraftKings Announcer
Now why would you do.
Amin Elhassan
You, sir, are a cur. Anyone ever do this?
Dave Demichek
What are you doing? Come on. What led you to this?
Amin Elhassan
Are you guys. You guys ever do the smoke after the poisonous smoke? Because that's the one from the movies that I was like, oh, that looks so cool.
Dan Le Batard
I told you, I'm watching Madman, man. After every time Don Draper has sex with someone, he and his lady friend, they immediately roll over and they light up a cig.
Amin Elhassan
But is that. Is that just about being smokers or
Dave Demichek
is there something of himself? Draper laying the mat, thinking he's great.
Dan Le Batard
Yep. I got the chest hair out and everything. And I'm just. I'm lighting up.
Amin Elhassan
And then you light up one for the body pillow. There you go, buddy.
Dan Le Batard
So tonight I am. I'm flying to Minneapolis tonight. I'm flying to Minneapolis tonight because I'm going to SummerSlam this weekend. I'm very, very excited. But I got annoyed yesterday with my flight tonight because I'm like, the last flight out of Miami Airport to 9:30pm Flight we're taking to Minneapolis. And I'm like, so we'll leave house at like, 7:30. By 7:30pm I don't know about you guys. At 7:30pm I'm in, like, this is shutdown mode in the Zazlow mansion. This is relaxed time. I'm sitting on the couch. This as a mansion family couch. Very uncomfortable couch, but I'm sitting on the couch. I'm in my underwear. I got pants off, you know, I got my TV show on or whatever. It's just relaxed time. And now tonight, it's going to be all right. Let's get all of our stuff together, and let's. Let's do this thing where we go to the airport, and the flight's not taking off until 9:30pm I found myself annoyed yesterday. Like, why. Why did I pick this time of flight?
Roy Bellamy
Now, Zaz, I think you're off on that. A nice little night flight. Amin takes a lot of them red eyes. They're nice. It's always dark. It's never hot. Because sometimes when you're on the tarmac in Miami, it's like 3pm It's a thousand degrees. Like, that's brutal.
Amin Elhassan
And the flight attendants and the captain have to tell people, shut your damn window shades so that we can keep this plane cool.
John
I want to see the tarmac. I want to see the planes.
Chris
I like to look out, see what's what.
Amin Elhassan
Nah, man, look, let me tell you right now. I know people are like, what if I. What if I've never been on a plane? I'm telling you right now, now you take a peek, you look outside. It's basically that for the entire time, there's not a lot of scenes. It's just either clouds if you're flying, or just grass or tarmac.
Chris
I like to get a feel for how many planes are ahead of us here. What do we got here? Let me see here. I see. I can only see one way down there. By my math. There's like three. Because you can't see in front of you. You're only like. You're doing the math of, like, I see a wing, kind of. All right, there's three. And then you tell people around you, you're like, we're three in the hole here.
Amin Elhassan
So 9:45 flight, you're going westward, so you gain an hour back west.
Dan Le Batard
Aren't I going north?
Amin Elhassan
No, Central. Central time.
Dan Le Batard
Again, I don't know where anything is. You're.
Amin Elhassan
You're gaining an hour.
Dan Le Batard
I'm on the plane. Just take me there.
Amin Elhassan
Yeah. So when you land it. Well, no, what I'm saying when you
Roy Bellamy
take off it's going to be 8:30 over there.
Amin Elhassan
8:30 over there?
Dan Le Batard
Yes.
Amin Elhassan
So however long that flight is, it's
Dan Le Batard
almost four hours it says.
Amin Elhassan
So you'll get there around 12:30.
Dan Le Batard
I know, but that's like 1:30 my time, you know.
Amin Elhassan
No, no, no, you can't do my time. It's their time now. You're on their time.
Dan Le Batard
I'm out of the Lord's time zone.
Amin Elhassan
So now to just accept and embrace. Embrace. Okay man, it's, it's, it's just 12:30. You get to the hotel say like 1, 115 bar shut down. I think around 2 or 3.
Dan Le Batard
All right, I'm with my 14 year old. All right. We're not going bar hopping.
Amin Elhassan
Whose fault is that?
Dan Le Batard
I don't know, I just, I'm landing really late. It feels like a pain in the ass.
Dave Demichek
I'm with you Zaz. I think a good rule of a good life rule for the youngsters out there is I thought I was beaten life. When I got out of college, I got a bartending gig in Chicago and I thought, oh this is the greatest. You can wake up as late as you want, you get to go 10 bucks. That's the wrong way to think about things because all you do all day is just think about like seven and a half more hours till I have to be at work. I'm with you on this flight. It's no good. Do it first thing of the day. Get to the airport as early as possible. Get the ugly travel behind you.
Amin Elhassan
Don't listen to this amateur early morning flights. You know who that is? The main of all the rookies. You get to the airport, it's like
John
when do I still take my shoes? Can I bring this galaxy? Where's my flight?
Amin Elhassan
All the people who never travel Travel on the 1st.
John
I want maximum time at my destination.
Amin Elhassan
It's such a rookie hour at the airport. Drives me nuts.
John
I think you're wrong.
Dan Le Batard
I feel like the people who understand travel go the first flight, buddy.
Amin Elhassan
I travel every goddamn week. I do this all the time. I've done the night ones, I've done the day ones, I've done the morning ones. And I'm telling you right now, rookie time is the early morning pre 8am flight.
Dan Le Batard
Rookies logic dick.
Dave Demichek
That the first flight is the least likely to get delayed.
Dan Le Batard
Correct.
Chris
That's what people say.
Dave Demichek
That is the first one's a little late.
Amin Elhassan
That's true. That's. I'm not. I'm not going to debate that.
Chris
That's why. That's why people travel earlier.
Amin Elhassan
But that's that. That one little piece, you know, like, sometimes it's a piece of true information, and then people hang on to it and make it their entire identity. That's what the early morning flight is. Every rookie travels.
John
Oh, because the delays weren't gonna happen. I was. Shut up.
Amin Elhassan
Get out of my way. They should have, like, I don't know,
Roy Bellamy
take my shoes off here.
Amin Elhassan
Oh, God.
John
The questions are, what do you mean?
Amin Elhassan
This is my grandma's perfume bottle.
John
I can't give it up. Like, go check it in.
Chris
But take my.
Roy Bellamy
Watch out.
John
I don't want to pay the baggage.
Chris
How do I get TSA pre.
Amin Elhassan
Oh, my God.
John
What's this clear thing?
Amin Elhassan
It means clear out of my way. God damn it.
Dave Demichek
Amin is one of these assholes who then I can glean from his remarks, here is one of these assholes who at the start of the red. The red eye declares like, all lights off. Everybody must follow his way or it's the highway. Right? I assum. You just anticipate complete blackness in the cabin, Right? I mean, like, I don't fall asleep at night on an airplane, so I have to sit awake and I feel like a heel because my light's on because I'm reading. What the hell else am I going to do?
Amin Elhassan
No, Dave. See your lights on again.
Dave Demichek
What am I going to do?
Chris
Close your eyes.
Amin Elhassan
You're such a rookie. You're like, I can't sleep on flights. Guess who can. The guy who fell asleep in a 40x movie watching Mortal Kombat 2. That's the guy who can sleep on flights. I fall asleep before we even push back from the gate. Matter of fact, about two weeks ago, I was on a flight or. Excuse me, last week I was on a flight that got so delayed that I fell asleep, woke up, looked outside, saw tarmac, thought, oh, we're here, and
Dan Le Batard
you hadn't left yet.
Amin Elhassan
We had never left.
Dan Le Batard
Oh, that's brutal.
Amin Elhassan
It is brutal, but it. But it is testament to my ability to sleep at any point.
Dan Le Batard
That's brutal.
Show Producer/Host
Down Ler.
John
John, how you love that cat phrase. Bad news for opposing teams in the trip. Player Jonathan Sasso smiles till the bronze. I clutch again. Clutch again. Clutch again.
Show Producer/Host
This is the D. Levatar show.
Dan Le Batard
So, Chris, we know that NFL training camps are all underway. It's all happening. And that includes what I feel like is the least hyped up Miami Dolphins training camp of my lifetime. You know, normally you get all the advertising or you know, to come out to Dolphins camp, you know, bring the kids that I've seen none of that. I mean, maybe that's just me, maybe I'm not in touch there right now, but I feel like there's no hype around this Miami Dolphins training camp.
Chris
You're not feeling that new coach, new regime energy.
Dan Le Batard
That's another example where normally you feel like, okay, this is exciting stuff. I don't know. To me, this is the least hyped up Miami Dolphins training camp of my lifetime. But what I am starting to hear now coming out of Dolphins training camp is everyone love. They're on this Jeff Halfley's tip. Everyone loves Halfley. All right, and so yesterday, how about this? You know, sometimes though. Well, not sometimes. A lot of times they do the seven on seven. You know, you don't wear pads and, and you do seven on seven drills. Well, Jeff Halfley, he doesn't do seven on seven because football in the NFL is 11 on 11. Give this a listen.
Jeff Halfley
And then the other big thing is this. I mean, we had officials there yesterday. I mean the things that we can have happen is you can't have pre snap penalties and hurt yourself. There were examples yesterday which I brought up again when I talked to the team and I kind of bring it all together. It was second ten and we hit a big play, but we jumped offside. So like what happens there? It's third and eight and the defense jumps offsides and now it's third and three. All those little things with the officials being there in 11 on 11 and they're throwing the flags will send the message of this isn't important. Like if they weren't there, we were just doing seven on seven. I mean we had a, we had a great play on defense yesterday. It was third and 10 in our defensive end lined up offsides. That doesn't happen in seven on seven. Right. Like all those things, we have to get the rust off and that's what training camp's all about.
Chris
Football guy.
Dan Le Batard
So like it makes sense what he's saying, but at the same time, is everybody else stupid like everybody else does seven on seven. Are the other coaches seeing like. Yeah, I think of that, you know, so that's again, it makes sense to me. But is he, is he inventing? Like he's not inventing the wheel here. Right. I think Dave D. Just fell asleep as a result of all the coach speak.
Show Producer/Host
Whoa.
Dave Demichek
I Haven't experienced such charisma since Joe Philbin. I mean what, what, what are we doing? This is, this is his introduction to the world. I agree with you as like yes, you've, you, you, you've done it coach. You've reinvented coaching with, with, with ignoring 7 on 7. Also, I don't care for the long sleeve white T shirt underneath the turquoise T shirt.
Dan Le Batard
Bad luck now is that you don't care about the long sleeve under the short sleeve or you don't care about the color scheme.
Dave Demichek
No, I don't care for the, the chosen outfit. The long sleeve underneath the T shirt. What' Miami, Right?
Amin Elhassan
I wear short sleeve shirts over long sleeve shirts over short sleeve shirts.
Chris
The vibe I'm getting from Halfley is that he's just like trying to not be Mike McDaniel. Like the, the, the take on him at the end was just like too, too whimsical. Like he's just like this.
Amin Elhassan
I'm a football guy.
Chris
You had a, a fun guy before. I'm hard nosed and we're going to
Amin Elhassan
do it the right way.
Chris
We're going to be accountable. Every sentence, every paragraph. I've heard Halfley say this offseason.
Dan Le Batard
Accountability. Have we heard anything about Malik Willis yet? I mean I know we're only a couple of days into camp at this point.
Chris
Like I heard there were a lot of drops yesterday. I heard two. Two out.
Dan Le Batard
Well, was receiver room is going to stink, right?
Chris
Exactly.
DraftKings Announcer
Yeah.
Dan Le Batard
It's be a weird year for them, man.
Chris
The best time of year though. Just getting like reports from, from camp.
Dave Demichek
What I do think though is that there is going to be if you blur your eyes, something akin to the Justin Fields in Chicago experience in week to week. It will be. There will be some bad games but there will be enough flashes where you sort of grade Malik Willis on a curve because of how bad the players are around him. But I bet you there will be conversations on this show and beyond about like all they're not doing Malik Willis any favors. But maybe we don't need to draft a quarterback in 2027 because maybe at least we have the answer here. And I wonder how many times that's going to come up from you, Zaslow and otherwise everybody rooting for the dolphins in 2026. I mean lose game.
Dan Le Batard
No, I don't watch like that. I mean I've been really clear about the way that I watch the Dolphins. I don't watch hoping that they lose because I want the higher traffic. I just, I can't. I Can't experience my favorite team that way. Now, when they do lose, softens the blow, because I'm not stupid, but I don't watch the game hoping for losses.
Roy Bellamy
Dave, to that point, like, the objective for this season is, do you have a quarterback that can lead you for the next two or three years or not?
Chris
Right.
Roy Bellamy
Like, everything, the nucleus around the entire team is built on that fact. Can this guy play quarterback or not?
Amin Elhassan
Mr. Wright, I completely agree with you,
Dave Demichek
and I think he is. You know, there's so many teams that didn't take a run at him because it was the unknown there, you know, limited exposure in regular season games. But I mean, that. The idea that you could pay him what you want for two years as a transition, until you do find the answer, I. I think Dolphins fans are going to be seduced, that's my prediction, by the Malik Willis experience this season.
Dan Le Batard
Well, I think the thing that if you're right, I think the thing that Dolphin fans are going to be seduced by is we've never had a quarterback list. We've never had the running quarter.
Roy Bellamy
What are you doing to Jay Fiedler?
Dan Le Batard
Well, you've had a. By the way, you better not say anything negative about Jay Feeder.
Roy Bellamy
I'm saying he's the best running quarterback,
Dan Le Batard
Big Jay Fiedler guy. All right? That guy had guts. I was a big Jay feeder, tough guy. And it doesn't hurt that he was Jewish. Anyway. We've had quarterbacks who can run, but we've never had running quarterbacks. Like, Jay Feather was a quarterback who could run. Ryan Tannehill was a quarterback who could run. Malik Willis, like, he's a running quarterback. Right. We've. We've never had that guy, like, literally never had that guy as quarterback. And don't give me Pat White. Like, don't be stupid. But we. We've never had that type of quarterback. So, yeah, I do think there's going to be a part, Dave, where, like, the Dolphin fan is kind of seduced because we've never seen it.
Show Producer/Host
Yeah.
Dave Demichek
And I think the best comp is the one you just threw out there for his skill set is Ryan Tannehill. I know people have a hard time doing that when one guy is white and the one and the other guy's black. But that is. That is, in fact, the best count.
Dan Le Batard
I want to play this clip for you guys from the OG Is Udonis Haslam and Mike Miller. And I think it's interesting because these days it feels like Rich Paul runs the NBA. Rich Paul. I mean, Rich Paul, most powerful agents in the league.
Amin Elhassan
He's up there.
Dan Le Batard
Who else would be next to him then?
Amin Elhassan
Bill Duffy's up there. Mark Barnestein is up there. Jeff Schwartz, like there's some names.
Dan Le Batard
Well, certainly he's out in front in a way that no other agent is.
Amin Elhassan
Yeah.
Dan Le Batard
He has a podcast and even before the podcast, though, right.
Amin Elhassan
Man, I don't. Mark Bartlestein is all over every Aaron Mintz at caa. He's. He's everywhere. He's, I believe, the originator of. Hey, when you break news, you credit me on it, where it's like, as per Aaron Mintz, like that whole thing that newsbreakers all do now, instead of saying, hey, so and so, sign a five year deal, $100 million, everything, guaranteed. It used to be that was just the news. Right now it's like as per Aaron Mintz of ca, as per Mark bottle scene. A priority like that started, I think, with Aaron Mintz.
Dan Le Batard
I. I think. I guess what I would say is before the podcast or where you're actually seeing Rich Paul on your screen, if you would have asked the regular everyday NBA fan.
Amin Elhassan
Sure.
Dan Le Batard
Can you name your agents? I think they're going to name Rich Paul and I don't know if they're naming anybody else.
Amin Elhassan
They probably name your guy. What's the Shark Never Sleeps guy? Oh, it's my man who went to Miami with Dan. Oh, man. The football agent who's a.
Chris
Who's a Trace Armstrong.
Amin Elhassan
No, Trace didn't go to Miami. Not Trace, the other guy. Come on, guys, he repped like every bigger.
Dan Le Batard
The U.S. rosenhaus.
Amin Elhassan
Drew Rosenhouse. There you go.
Dan Le Batard
Okay. But he's not an NBA guy.
Amin Elhassan
No, I know, but that's. I think that's what people.
Dan Le Batard
That's what confused me.
Roy Bellamy
I was like, wait a second.
Mike Ryan
Who.
Chris
The Italian guy.
Mike Ryan
Wow.
Chris
How'd you freaking.
Dan Le Batard
Drew Rose announces. Anyway, so I want to play this clip for you because Rich Paul is like the guy now, very powerful agent. And I don't know the last time you heard someone speak about Rich Paul like this, because while Norris Cole is the guest in studio with UD and Mike Miller, Norris Cole is not mentioning Rich Paul's name, but it's Rich Paul that he's talking about. Here, give this a listen.
Norris Cole
I learned the hard lesson, the business of basketball, man. For y' all young fellas out there, when you have an agent, make sure you're involved in what's going on. Don't just let them handle stuff behind the scenes without you knowing. But it was my first time in free agency. I didn't know that. Yeah. And so I had a, you know, a powerful agent and I let him do everything, all the negotiations. I didn't even think twice about it. But, you know, you know, he did some bad negotiation, you know, just got called what it is, and I caught wind of it late and I ended up firing him. And, you know, when you fire a powerful agent, you know, of course they gonna save face. And, you know, that's what happened. And, you know, tried to make it seem like I was the greedy one, which in reality I wasn't. Yeah. And so, you know, that's what happened. So I ended up having to take a deal in China for a couple months and then, you know, got. Got injured out there. Rehab eight weeks, came back and got a chance in okc. The Russell Westbrook triple double year. Yes. But it was. It was tough after that.
Dan Le Batard
He would go on to say it cost him about 70 to 80 million dollars, which I don't know where.
Amin Elhassan
He's 70 to 80.
Dan Le Batard
I don't know where he's coming up with that figure, number one. But I thought. I thought that was interesting because that's pretty harsh words there for Rich Paul. I mean, right.
Amin Elhassan
This is what I'll say.
Dan Le Batard
Like he's saying Rich Paul put his name on the street and was dragging his name.
Amin Elhassan
That's another part of the sound, because that's not what I got from that. What I got from that was that bad negotiation, which typically.
Dan Le Batard
What does that mean?
Amin Elhassan
So this is what I'll explain. And this is. I'm not talking about Rich Paul. This is about agents in general. When you are talent, whether you're a player, whether you're in our industry or whatever, you have a choice to make. Do I hire an agent who's at a big powerful firm because they have all the connections and all the leverage, or do I hire like a boutique firm because they're going to take care of me and they're going to prioritize me?
Dan Le Batard
But also, back then, we're talking 14 years ago, Klutch may have been a boutique.
Amin Elhassan
Yeah. But Rich Paul was never a boutique agent. Right, Rich Paul.
Dave Demichek
What Amin is describing, though, is spot on and it reflects the entertainment industry. Well, is like, how big a fish are you? I'm sorry, I interrupted you. I mean.
Amin Elhassan
No, no, no, don't apologize.
Dave Demichek
So where you're going here.
Amin Elhassan
So as a result, when you are with a big powerful agency, you might think, oh, yeah, they're going to get me in rooms. And they might. They do that is their. Their power. But the problem is you become a pawn in their grand scheme. Because I'm an agent, I get 4% on the NBA level, 4% of the earnings of all of my clients. In the same way. For us, typical 10% on the.
Dan Le Batard
Why is it 10 for us and it's three to four?
Amin Elhassan
Because we don't have. We don't have a strong union. That.
Roy Bellamy
That the contract's like $80 million versus that too, right?
Amin Elhassan
Like 4% versus not 80 million.
Dan Le Batard
Right.
Amin Elhassan
So, but as a result, if. Let's say I have three clients, I'm agent so and so from ABC Sports, right? And I have three clients. I got Roy Bellamy, who's a superstar. I've got Tony, who's a superstar. I got Chris, who's a role player, right? So I'm trying to get Roy 20. I'm trying to get Tony 20. I'm trying to get 15, Chris 5. Right? 4% of that is, you know, whatever it is. Like, you know, do the math, right? But let's say the team goes. Know I really like Tony. I'll take Chris, but I ain't paying him more than two. But I'll pay Tony 30.
Dan Le Batard
Oh, the agent doesn't care because he's so. I don't care.
Amin Elhassan
I'm getting 4% of 32. I'm not going like, well, I only got 4% on 2. That's not enough. He's like, no, no. As a totality, I'm. I'm making out.
Dan Le Batard
That happens a lot.
Amin Elhassan
That happens a lot.
Chris
Give me that boutique.
Amin Elhassan
And so, well, then the boutique is like, hey, can we talk. Can we talk to someone else? And they're like, well, I tried. I called and they wouldn't call me back. Like that. That's. That's the game that you're playing. You're just like, well, if I get someone who's all the way for me, but not having the connections, that doesn't help either. So I don't. Happened with Norse Cole. That clip is very short. That's the first time I'm hearing it. I would imagine when I hear bad negotiation, the first thing I thought of, like, oh, you were a pawn and they told you were going to get this much. And whoever they were dealing with was like, I will give you this for that guy, but we're only paying this much for this guy. And now you're on the short end of the stick.
Show Producer/Host
Yeah.
Dan Le Batard
He went on to say it cost him 70 to 80 million dollars.
Amin Elhassan
That part is, I don't know the only way that's possible is if you're telling me. Fourteen years ago, there was a team that said, we won't go a dollar over 70. And Rich said, 70? My client's worth way more than that. And that's how he lost out on $70 million. And I don't see that one happening.
Chris
I got to get that five miles.
This Local Hour episode is a quintessential Dan Le Batard Show blend: part Miami sports talk, part playful banter about life, relationships, and pop culture. The conversation shifts from hilarious domestic sleep habits to highway etiquette, airport horror stories, and of course, a deep dive into the current (and startlingly low-key) Miami Dolphins training camp. The crew also touches on agent power dynamics in the NBA, delivering behind-the-scenes context and a few hot takes along the way.
Wake-up injuries and body pillow confessions: Dan, Dave, Amin, and the crew riff on the absurdity of waking up with unexplained aches, including rib contusions and mysterious toe pain.
Couples' sleep arrangements: They swap stories about thrashing in bed, the necessity of body pillows (“pregnant women do that”; [02:51, Amin]), and the time-honored TV trope of being banished to the couch.
Single beds and 'sleep divorce': Multiple hosts admit to or know couples sleeping in separate beds/rooms due to snoring or space, challenging the stigma with comedic humility.
Chris' Disgust at Littering: Chris narrates witnessing a driver throw a Publix bag and a soda cup out of their car within seconds. He confronts them with nothing but a judgmental stare.
The Group's Response: Debate ensues: Is stern eye contact effective? Should you roll down the window and yell? Amin shares he actually has done this (“Hey, face!” [07:57]) and Dave recommends the condescending “champ.”
Broader Discussion on Littering: Chewing gum, stairwell trash, and cultural contrasts (“like the Japanese fans at the World Cup” [09:21]) are discussed.
Dan’s Night Flight Dread: Dan gripes about a late Miami-to-Minneapolis flight interfering with his pre-bedtime routine, setting off a debate about the best time to fly.
Morning vs. Night Flight Pros & Cons:
Amin dismisses early flights as “rookie hour.”
Dave and Dan argue for getting travel “out of the way” early.
Amin proudly claims he can sleep anywhere—even before a plane leaves the gate.
“I fall asleep before we even push back from the gate.” – Amin [22:33]
“Rookie time is the early morning pre-8am flight.” – Amin [21:14]
Lack of Buzz for Dolphins Camp: Dan notes the subdued atmosphere compared to previous years. New coach Jeff Hafley’s philosophy is discussed, especially his preference for full-team (11-on-11) drills over traditional 7-on-7s.
Hafley's Style and Charisma: The hosts gently roast Hafley’s wardrobe and communication, comparing him (unfavorably) to past Miami coaches and labeling his persona as “football guy” anti-whimsy [26:27].
Malik Willis: The Great Quarterback Experiment:
Dolphin Fan Psychology: Dan admits he can't root for losses even in a retooling year (“I just, I can’t experience my favorite team that way.” [27:41]); discusses the allure of finally having a true “running quarterback.”
Rich Paul, Agents, and the Cost of Representation: The episode closes with Norris Cole’s story of losing “$70–80 million” on a contract due to poor agent negotiation (implied: Rich Paul), igniting a wider discussion about athlete representation.
Amin’s Explanation of Agent Dynamics:
Boutique vs. Big Agency Dilemma:
Skeptical Math: Both Dan and Amin question the claim of losing $70–80 million.
As ever, the show is both irreverent and insightful, alternating genuine sports talk with playful ribbing and self-deprecation. The interplay between Dan and his crew keeps the energy lively, while detours into personal stories and wider pop culture reflections make the episode just as much about life as it is about football.
For Miami sports fans and newcomers alike, this episode offers a hilarious and relatable romp through everyday frustrations and big-picture sports questions, all while grounding the discussion in the realities (and quirks) of South Florida life. Whether you want Dolphins camp insights or just some laughs about sleep and travel woes, the Local Hour has you covered.