Unbreakable Episode 109 - Holiday Special

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dan Patrick Show – Unbreakable Episode 109: Holiday Special

Release Date: November 27, 2024
Host: iHeartPodcasts and Dan Patrick Podcast Network
Episode Title: Unbreakable Episode 109 - Holiday Special
Featured Guest: Jay Glazer

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Introduction

In the heartwarming Holiday Special of Unbreakable (Episode 109), mental health advocate Jay Glazer delves deep into the challenges many face during the holiday season. Released on November 27, 2024, this episode offers listeners invaluable insights and practical strategies to navigate the emotional complexities that often accompany the festive period.

Addressing Holiday Loneliness

Jay Glazer opens the discussion by acknowledging the pervasive sense of loneliness that many experience during the holidays. He shares personal anecdotes to highlight how even those who are busy or otherwise engaged can feel isolated.

"Holidays are difficult for a lot of us. A lot of times dealing with family is hard. A lot of times loneliness is hard. It hits us hard." (02:49)

The Power of Being of Service

To counteract feelings of loneliness and helplessness, Glazer emphasizes the importance of being of service to others. He recounts his own experiences of volunteering during Thanksgiving, such as feeding the homeless and assisting in shelters.

"If you're of service, it really takes away. And this is a big goal of mine in dealing with the gray, dealing with your depression, anxiety. When we're of service, it cuts through that gray and it gets us to see the blue." (03:15)

He encourages listeners to find ways to help others, whether it's through volunteering at animal shelters or supporting community events. Glazer believes that serving others not only aids those in need but also provides a sense of purpose and connection for oneself.

Leaning into Your Teammates

Glazer highlights the significance of leaning on one's support system during stressful holiday periods. He advises reaching out to friends, family, or trusted individuals to share feelings and seek support.

"Lean into your teammates. Really lean in. If you need to take a step away, can I holler?... Call your crew, lean into your teammates." (04:10)

By proactively communicating with trusted individuals, listeners can create a safety net that offers emotional support and practical assistance when needed.

Maintaining Personal Rituals

Maintaining daily rituals and routines is another cornerstone of Glazer's strategy for managing holiday stress. He details his personal practices, including breath work, meditation, and physical exercise, which help him stay grounded.

"I now have all these rituals… I do breath work, meditation, gratitude list, working out… Stay in your routine. Make sure your rituals and your schedule are as structured as possible." (05:50)

Glazer advises listeners to uphold their established routines even amidst holiday festivities, as these practices provide stability and a sense of normalcy.

Embracing the Inner Child: Self-Compassion and Forgiveness

A pivotal part of Glazer's discussion centers on addressing one's inner child to foster self-compassion. He shares transformative lessons learned from monks in Thailand about forgiving and loving oneself.

"If you are triggered, first of all, immediately forgive yourself… love that little kid up, hold their hands, tell him you got him, it's gonna be okay." (07:30)

Glazer explains how acknowledging and comforting the vulnerable parts of oneself can mitigate negative emotions and promote emotional healing. He recounts personal revelations about his own struggles, illustrating the profound impact of self-compassion.

"That little kid is. I cannot stress this enough. That little kid is. You are most important. Give yourself some grace. Forgive yourself." (12:15)

Building a Supportive Community

Towards the episode's conclusion, Glazer reinforces the idea that listeners are not alone in their struggles. He emphasizes building and maintaining connections with a supportive community.

"There's so many other people who are going through it right now. So realize that you're probably in the majority. So we're not alone." (13:00)

He urges listeners to stay connected, support one another, and recognize the collective effort in overcoming holiday-related challenges.

Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Wrapping up the episode, Glazer offers heartfelt encouragement and gratitude to his listeners. He underscores the importance of perseverance, self-love, and mutual support.

"We're good with that. There's no shame in that. The great part is as long as you just keep moving forward. If you fall down, get back up, brush yourself up. Let's all keep walking this walk together. Love you all. Happy holidays." (14:30)

Glazer's message is one of hope and resilience, reminding everyone that despite the difficulties, the holiday season can be a time of growth, connection, and renewed purpose.

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Key Takeaways

• Service to Others: Engaging in acts of service can alleviate feelings of loneliness and provide a sense of purpose.
• Utilizing Support Systems: Leaning on friends and family for emotional support is crucial during stressful times.
• Maintaining Routines: Keeping up with personal rituals helps maintain stability and reduce anxiety.
• Self-Compassion: Addressing and nurturing one's inner child fosters emotional healing and resilience.
• Community Connection: Recognizing that others share similar struggles can reduce feelings of isolation and promote mutual support.

Notable Quotes

• "If you're of service, it really takes away. And this is a big goal of mine in dealing with the gray, dealing with your depression, anxiety." — Jay Glazer (03:15)
• "Lean into your teammates. Really lean in." — Jay Glazer (04:10)
• "That little kid is. You are most important. Give yourself some grace. Forgive yourself." — Jay Glazer (12:15)
• "Let's all keep walking this walk together. Love you all. Happy holidays." — Jay Glazer (14:30)

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Conclusion

Jay Glazer's Holiday Special on Unbreakable serves as a profound guide for anyone grappling with the emotional toll of the holiday season. Through personal stories, practical advice, and heartfelt encouragement, Glazer provides listeners with the tools to navigate their challenges with grace and resilience. Whether it's through serving others, leaning on a support system, maintaining personal rituals, or embracing self-compassion, this episode is a must-listen for those seeking to make their holidays more fulfilling and less stressful.

Transcript

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[Jay Glaser]

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Now here's Jay Glaser. Welcome into Unbreakable and Mental wealth podcast with Jay Glaser. I'm Jay Glaser. It's a special holiday edition. So the guests today are you and me. What I want to do here is I know the holidays are hard for a lot of us, and I always wanted looking back now, I wish the guy I'm now could help the guy was back then to get through some of these holidays. Holidays are difficult for a lot of us. A lot of times dealing with family is hard. A lot of times loneliness is hard. It hits us hard. So what I want to try and do today is see where I can help, see if I can coach, see if I can maybe inspire people to make these holidays a little bit easier for all of us. And some of the things that have kind of helped me along the way. So first of all, one of the things that we could really do for people who. And I'll get into people who could be triggered in in a second. But there's holidays where I didn't go anywhere else or had to work. And, you know, like, kind of that loneliness on those holidays gets to. Even though I knew I was working, it still kind of got to me. And the loneliness was really hard. So what I try to do in those years is I decide I'm going to go be of service, and I would go feed the homeless during Thanksgiving. I would go to shelters to help during Thanksgiving. In the past also, I've done a military basis, and that was through fox. But my point is, if you're of service, it really takes away. And this is a big goal of mine in dealing with the gray, dealing with your depression, anxiety. When we're of service, it cuts through that gray and it gets us to see the blue. Well, no better time for you to be of service than the holidays and say it on yourself. You know, I'm going to actually celebrate, celebrate myself by being of service, helping others. Could be an animal shelter. Whatever it is, figure it out. When I was really broke in New York City, you know, I had a bartend on the holidays at. It was a bar called let's Make a Daiquiri at the South Street Seaport. I would then go get food and I would go out and hand them to the homeless. And I'd be like, I'm gonna have Thanksgiving with them, odd as that sounds, some of the best Thanksgivings I've had, people really appreciate it. And again, when you were of service, it's really hard to tell you bad things about yourself. So right now, in holiday times, we tend to beat up on ourselves a lot. We are alone. But when you're of service, the roommates in your head don't get that voice. The roommates in your head don't get to set the narrative. So I can't tell you enough how important that is. And by the way, even if you do have somewhere to go, figure out a place, something, some way, you could still be of service because you have that in your back pocket. No matter what, it really helps us during the holidays. Number two, lean into your teammates. You hear me say this all the time. And what I mean by this is, even before you're going to go where you're going to go, call your boys, call your homegirls, call your sisters, your brothers, call your people and say, listen, this may be a hard one for me. Are you going to be available? Can I talk to you? If they are, if I need to take a step away, can I holler? Because a lot of times, too, somebody will say, absolutely, and they needed it also. So lean into your teammates. Really lean in. Also, like I'm saying, in a time like this, going into it, if you know that you're going to go, let's see, family, and it's going to trigger you. Talk to your crew about it. Talk to your crew about it going in, get ideas from them. How could I better handle this? How could I better not get beat up? How can I prevent myself from. From going down these rabbit holes? So have these talks immediately. Immediately call your crew, Lean into your teammates. Look, and when I'm really struggling, I call two people, used to be four, but two people to tell them I'm struggling. And then two people did not tell I'm struggling just to check up on them because that's being of service. It's another thing, right? If you're having difficulties, the holidays, just call some of your teammates, check up on them, see how they're doing. It's another way for you to be of service, but it's keeping you connected to your teammates, and that's protecting your own sanctity. It's. It's building your own fortress about what could keep you happy and keep you safe. The whole point is we got to keep ourselves safe here. Number three, stay in your rituals. I now have all these rituals. Breath, work, meditation, gratitude list Working out. I do a. A cold plunge that Michael Phelps my brother sent me called chili goat. Little plug there for him. We do. I say these prayers with, with Rosie and my. Myself, but I have these rituals that I now do religiously. I do this whole thing for my hips to open my hips up every day, kind of help me. I do this stretching routine. I do, again, breath work. I do that a couple times a day. Stay in your routine. So when you go somewhere and you know it's going to trigger you again, you want to. You want your rituals and your. Your schedule to be as structured as possible. So don't let yourself get thrown off course, thrown off base by being somewhere else. It's such a. An important thing because we tend to go somewhere else. And you put it on hold. It's your support system. Don't get rid of your support system when you need your support the most. Make sure, no matter what you prioritize, what your rituals have become. Okay? Another thing here, a lot of times when we get triggered, okay, we feel like that helpless little kid again. That's hard. Okay? And if you're like that helpless or beaten down little kid. So a couple things. Number one, if you are triggered, first and foremost, immediately forgive yourself immediately. Just go to that next room, go in that next room, forgive yourself. But the other thing I want you to do is go in the next room and love that little kid up, okay? So I learned this from these monks in Thailand. And these monks said to me, hey, we want you to want to come do the monk thing. We want you to not talk to anybody, and we want you to for three days. I'm like, not talking about it for three days. Hey, monks, I got adhd. What are we talking about here? And they said, want you to do. What'd you call yourself growing up? Was it Jay? I said, no, it was Jason. Okay, we want you to not talk to anybody. And we want you to just meditate and picture little Jason and hold his hand, put your arm around him, tell him you got him, it's gonna be okay. And show him some compassion because he probably doesn't feel like he's had enough or had any love. That little kid up. It changed my life. A lot of the issues I've had has been that triggered little kid, that beaten down little kid. Not that one physically beat down my parents or anything, but, man, I was a run to the litter. I was tiny growing up. It was rough in the Jersey shore when you're so tiny, man, I wrestled 101 pounds in high school, I got one on one pounder. He got sh. Man, it was rough. I built myself up in a J. Glazer, who I am now because how rough that was. But love that little kid up. And like I said, to this day, when I have these little outbursts, I realize it's him. The little kid who's screaming out for help, feels like he did something wrong, feels like he deserves to be punished. So show that little kid compassion. Literally. Go to the next room, forgive yourself if you get triggered. And love that little queue up. And recently I haven't had an issue. I had an issue in sparring while I was having like these little. I wasn't myself. And I went to Greg Harden, may rest apple in peace, who was the mental performance coach for Tom Brady and Michael Phelps and Charles Woodson. These guys. He's like Jay, that for some reason that scared little kids coming out of us like Greg, I've been sparring and fighting for years, man. I started wrestling in 1982 and boxing in 88 and MMA in 2000. And what do you mean, he said, there's something going on with that little kid? Well, he's horrified right now, and you gotta let him know he's safe and comfort him. And started talking to my therapist about it and I got to the bottom of it and now I got his back. I make sure I get that little kid's back, so. And those kinds may sound a little foreign to people, but that was a lot for me. Like that scared little kid, he became the dominant voice instead of Jay Glazer, Warrior Jay Glazer being that dominant voice. And I couldn't shut him up because you don't want to shut that kid up. You got to comfort him. So now we're at the holidays, we get triggered. A lot of times it's that same kid, right? And you have. May have a hard time with parents or brothers and sisters or, you know, just your hometown, wherever it is, but you become that scared little kid again. So make sure that you practice. I got you. I got you. Love that kid up. Love him or her up. Hug them, hold their hands. Another great thing for you guys is I'm doing this podcast because there's an awful lot of you. Well, awful lot of us that felt this way on the holidays. So I want you to think about it way. I'm. I'm in the majority today. I'm not alone. I'm far from alone, man. I'm not alone at all. There are so many other people who are going through it right now. So realize that you're probably in the majority. So we're not alone. If you get triggered, you're going to get triggered. It's okay. Don't beat up on yourself. Going to forgive ourselves, right? Then we're going to go another room. We're going to love that little kid up, comfort that little kid and also know that little kid's most important. Okay? Your mom, your dad, your brother, your sister, your friends, your hometown people, whatever, they're not most important. That little kid is. I cannot stress this enough. That little kid is. You are most important. Give yourself some grace. Forgive yourself. Realize also, hey, this isn't going to be forever. It's a couple days here. Stay in your rituals. Be of service, whether it's calling others or actually going and doing something. People who are in need on Thanksgiving for the holidays here, lean into your teammates. Make sure you're there for them. They're there for you. Lean into them going into it. Be proactive about it and make sure that you're being good there as well. And you're leaning into them also at that point. And make sure that you, no matter what happens on these holidays, you do know that you are loved. You may not feel it where you are, but you are. We all got teammates. God's a teammate of mom. My dog's teammates. Rosie's a teammate, even though I didn't have her until, you know, four years ago. There are teammates everywhere, right? You just gotta see it and make sure, you know, you are not alone. And, you know, finally, like I said, love that little kid up, but also love the adult and you up as well, man, if you get thrown off kilter or give yourself, get yourself back on track. It's never too late to start over. Even if you make a big mistake and you have an outburst or something along those lines or you have a meltdown, just restart again. It's okay. Start from square one. We're good with that. Okay. There's no shame in that. The great part is as long as you just keep moving forward. If you fall down, get back up, brush yourself up. Let's all keep walking this walk together. Love you all. Happy holidays. And I am grateful and thankful for all of you. You guys have given me my purpose. You guys have all given me my why. Never knew that my pain would lead to helping others through theirs. So I am so incredibly thankful for all of you during these holidays. Love y'all. Hey, order up.

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