The Dating Detectives: "The Crypto Catfish"

Podcast: The Dating Detectives (Dear Media)
Episode Release: January 5, 2026
Hosts: Mackenzie Fultz (A), Hanna Anderson (B)
Guest: Mary (C)

Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into the world of "pig butchering" crypto romance scams, featuring a riveting interview with Mary, an avid true crime consumer who nonetheless became a target—and victim—of a sophisticated online scam. Through her story, the hosts and guest explore how emotional manipulation, technical deception, and psychological techniques can ensnare even the most cautious and educated daters.

Key themes: trusting your intuition ("femtuition"), the evolving tactics of scammers, and the importance of sharing victim stories to break stigma and educate others.

1. Setting the Stage: Resolutions and Red Flags

Timestamps: 00:54–03:20

• New Year's Resolution:
  The hosts urge listeners to trust their gut, or "femtuition," and not feel guilty about ending relationships that trigger warning signs—even if the reason "doesn’t feel big enough."
  • Quote (B, 01:27): "Your New Year's resolution is to dump them. Put that on the vision board."
  • Advice includes defining what your intuition feels/sounds like, journaling, and working with a therapist.

2. Introducing the Guest and Scammer's Techniques

Timestamps: 03:20–07:52

• Mary's Background:
  Mary positions herself as a "true crime girl," highly suspicious of online dating, previously burned by bad relationships, who finally caves to friends' pressure to try Hinge and Bumble.
• Initial Contact:
  Mary describes her match as attentive, interesting, with well-rounded photos and corroborating stories (e.g., sending photos to match his anecdotes).
• Building Rapport:
  The scammer “mirrored” Mary’s preferences and interests, sometimes even before she shared them—raising, in retrospect, suspicions that he’d researched her online presence.

3. Transfer to Private Channels & Early Trust-Building

Timestamps: 08:01–14:11

• Shifting to WhatsApp:
  The scammer requested moving from app chat to WhatsApp under a plausible work-related pretext ("so messages won't be missed at work"), subtly increasing privacy and security for himself.

• Video Call Tactic:
  An attempted video call finally occurs—late at night, in dim lighting, with the scammer partially obscured, wearing a baseball hat, and acting fidgety.

  • Mary's reflection: In the moment, seeing him on video eased doubts ("Okay, I saw him, it was legitimate"), but later she questions whether it was genuinely him.

4. Friends Turn Detective & Red Flags Intensify

Timestamps: 16:54–21:31

• Skeptical Friends:
  Mary’s friends join a group chat, conducting reverse image searches and investigating the scammer’s claims. They fail to find any online presence matching his supposed identity—no LinkedIn, Instagram, etc.—triggering suspicion.

• Scammer Provides Documentation:
  The scammer uses WhatsApp's disappearing photo function to send a U.S. green card as "proof," but Mary can’t revisit it later for scrutiny.

5. Pulling on Emotional Heartstrings

Timestamps: 21:31–24:49

• Personal Tragedy:
  The scammer shares a story about losing his wife to COVID-19 in a moving, detailed narrative designed to align with Mary’s own family losses, creating deep emotional rapport.
  • Quote (C, 23:31): "He tells me this beautiful story about him and his wife... I was crying listening to him tell this story."

6. Pivot to Crypto—From Conversation to "Safe" Investment

Timestamps: 24:49–29:47

• Introducing Crypto:
  Crypto is introduced gradually, first through casual conversation, then through technical explanations checked independently by Mary using Google and ChatGPT—everything seems to check out.

• Practice Run:
  The scammer proposes a simulated crypto trade ("with pretend money") to build confidence. Mary notes that she never clicks links or directly sends money to him—standard anti-scam advice.

• Escalation:
  After the simulation, the scammer suggests investing "real money" with the possibility of paying off Mary’s student loans, tying the potential windfall to their putative shared future.

7. Emotional Manipulation & Grooming for Larger Investment

Timestamps: 29:47–40:20

• Deepening the Bond:
  As Mary wavers on investing, the scammer amplifies relationship talk, discussing children and a future together. When Mary reveals her cancer and infertility, he responds with kindness and promises of unwavering support, further cementing trust.

  • Quote (C, 33:28): "He gives me the most caring, kind response that you could imagine... you couldn't ask for a better response."

• Pressure Resumes:
  The scammer links crypto investment to their future, making it a test of trust and mutual support.

8. The Mechanics of the Scam—App Deception

Timestamps: 40:20–45:00

• Legitimate-Looking Apps:
  Mary downloads Coinbase and "Tickmill" apps herself after verifying their legitimacy (Tickmill is a real company, but the scammer’s app is a clone/fake). He is careful never to ask for her passwords or send her direct links, adding to her sense of safety.

• Initial Trade:
  Mary invests $1,000 and successfully "withdraws" some winnings, bolstering confidence.

  • "So what's the scam?" Mary recalls thinking; everything seemed by the book.

• Escalation:
  The scammer pushes for more money, referencing student loans and suggesting she quit her job to access her 401k funds—triggering Mary’s finally un-ignorable alarm bells.

  • Quote (C, 46:54): "That was a line… I was like, no, absolutely not."

9. The Reveal: Excuses, App Vanishes, and the Final Blow

Timestamps: 48:34–59:29

• Scheduled Return Thwarted:
  Right before a planned in-person meeting, the scammer invents a family emergency. Mary begins testing his stories, noticing time zone inconsistencies and other holes.

• Withdrawing Funds Blocked:
  When Mary tries to withdraw her money, the app "crashes" and becomes unusable.

• Gaslighting:
  The scammer becomes angry, blaming her for acting without him and threatening money laundering charges.

• Consulting a Crypto Expert:
  Mary contacts a local crypto expert who confirms this is a classic "pig butchering" scam: the scammer creates a fake trading app, deposits seem to grow, but the funds are never accessible.

• The App Disappears:
  The Tickmill app is gone from the App Store, and the developer is linked with known scams.

• Total Loss:
  Mary's entire savings are gone.

  • Quote (C, 59:33): "My entire savings, Mary. Yeah... I am so angry."

10. Aftermath: Grief, Reporting, Shame, and Community

Timestamps: 59:47–66:44

• Emotional Fallout:
  Mary grapples more with the emotional betrayal and humiliation than the money. She describes having to process losing both her money and the sense of safety she'd finally begun to feel.

  • Quote (C, 61:42): "Coming to the realization that somebody was able to manipulate so effectively my security system... was devastating."

• Reporting:
  She files with the FBI, local police, and includes WhatsApp transcripts. The process is draining and, ultimately, dismissive—police inform her that nothing can be done but her report is noted for statistics.

• Support System:
  Her friends rally—one even flies out to visit and help her reclaim a lost experience at a restaurant.

11. Attempted "Recovery Scam" and Broader Lessons

Timestamps: 66:44–69:58

• The Double Scam:
  Scammers attempt a follow-up, posing as another victim who claims a "tech guy" can recover lost funds—for a fee.

  • Quote (C, 68:09): “She’s giving me all this stuff, and I’m just like, I know what this is… nobody can recover our money.”

• Scam Sophistication:
  The hosts and Mary emphasize that these scams are run like businesses—with psychological consultants, scripted playbooks, and even some scammers trafficked themselves.

• Moral:
  Even the most careful, intelligent, professionally skeptical are vulnerable.

12. Advice & Key Takeaways

Timestamps: 72:19–77:44

• Sharing to Break Stigma:
  Mary publicly posts her story to counteract shame and warn others, finding many private admissions from other victims.

  • Quote (C, 71:49): "'Silence protects the scammers. Talking about it protects everyone.'"

• How to Spot Similar Scams:

  • Tragic/scary personal backstories that mirror your own
  • Moving conversations off dating apps (especially to encrypted or international messaging platforms like WhatsApp or Signal)
  • Emotional oversharing and future-faking
  • Legit-looking but sketchily-reviewed apps
  • Excuses for not meeting in person, or only doing low-quality video calls
  • Sudden pressure to invest larger sums or even quit your job

• Reporting Resources:

  • FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3)
  • Federal Trade Commission (FTC)
  • State Attorney General
  • Financial regulators (e.g., SEC)
  • The relevant financial app/company

• Trust Yourself:
  Hosts reinforce making intuition your "North Star."

  • Quote (A, 92:41): "Our New Year's resolution is trust your femme tuition."
  • Quote (C, 41:30): "I was ignoring it. Like, I was full on ignoring it at this point..."

13. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Emotional Manipulation:
  (C, 35:28) "He gives me the most caring, kind response that you could imagine..."

• On Feeling Safe:
  (C, 40:20) "[After the sympathy] I would say I was all in... that idea that, like, I must be overthinking this."

• On the Aftermath:
  (C, 61:42) "Coming to the realization that somebody was able to manipulate so effectively my security system... was devastating."

• On Breaking the Stigma:
  (C, 71:49) "'Silence protects the scammers. Talking about it protects everyone.'"

14. Final Reflections

• Hosts’ Takeaways:

  • Even "true crime girls" are vulnerable due to overconfidence or overcompensation.
  • Smart, educated people are just as susceptible.
  • Scam artists use tailored scripts based on psychological manipulation.

• Advice to Listeners:

  • Trust your intuition.
  • Don’t rationalize away red flags.
  • Educate yourself and your friends—especially about the emergence of fake apps and new scam tactics.
  • If you’re a victim, reach out, share your story, and utilize your support network—shame protects criminals, not you.

If you or someone you know has been scammed:

• Report to authorities (IC3, FTC, police)
• Seek support—from friends or mental health professionals
• Know you are not alone, and that scammers are sophisticated professionals

For Further Stories or Support

Email: investigate@thedatingdetectivespodcast.com
Patreon and social media support communities available—details shared at the end of episode.

Key Motto:

"Trust your femtuition—and dump him." (A & B, 92:43)

A must-listen for anyone in the dating app world, or anyone at risk of believing they're too savvy to fall for a scam.