Podcast Summary
The Deck – Maria “Mary Faye” Mendez (Wild Card, Texas)
Host: Ashley Flowers
Episode Release: August 20, 2025
Brief Overview
This episode of The Deck focuses on the disappearance and eventual identification of Maria “Mary Faye” Mendez, a mother of three from Odessa, Texas, who vanished in 1984. For nearly 40 years, Mary’s case was overlooked—possibly due to misplaced files and systemic oversights—until cold case Detective Lauren Gonzalez unearthed her records and linked them to a long-unidentified skull in nearby Crane County. The episode explores Mary’s tumultuous personal life, the family’s suspicions around her second husband, and the modern investigative effort that finally brought answers—if not resolution—to Mary’s surviving relatives.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Rediscovering a Lost Case: Detective Gonzalez’s Investigation
- Detective Lauren Gonzalez found Mary’s case while searching through misfiled 1984 homicide cases for connections to another serial assault case.
- [03:20] “As I'm going through the box for murders in 1984... there's a file... written in Sharpie on the front... Missing person.” — Det. Lauren Gonzalez
- The file was thin and missing major updates—no proof that Mary had ever been located, contrary to what Gonzalez expected for such old cases.
- The missing persons profile for Mary was abruptly canceled in 1986 without documented reason.
- Gonzalez’s instinct led her to dig deeper, contacting family members to confirm Mary was still missing and kickstarting the investigation anew.
2. Mary’s Troubled Marriages and Family Dynamics
- Mary’s Life and Relationships:
- Raised in a close-knit but complex Mexican-American family in Odessa.
- Her first husband, Alcario, was allegedly abusive; Mary’s sister Elva said, “He beat her up every second.” [09:37]
- Alcario was even charged with attempted murder after ramming another man with a car when Mary was dating that man.
- Mary’s second marriage to Arnoldo (aka Carlos)—again marked by significant domestic violence, according to Elva and Dalia.
- [10:39] “Ed Nundo was the same way. He would beat her up... she’d come to my mama’s house all bloodied up, black eyed.” — Elva
- The two marriages intertwined the families. Elva was married to Alcario’s brother, and lived nearby.
3. The Day Mary Disappeared (August 2, 1984)
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Events Recorded and Family Accounts:
- Mary and Arnoldo argued—Dalia, her sister-in-law, heard the fight through the shared wall of their duplex.
- [15:02] “We could hear things like that through the wall... when they'd hit the wall, or that she'd throw something or he would throw something.” — Dalia
- After the fight, Arnoldo left in his van; Mary left her daughter Virginia with Dalia, saying she’d be back that night but never returned.
- Initially, her disappearance wasn’t entirely alarming—Mary sometimes stayed out for a day or two.
- Dalia and others checked the local bars when worry set in—some reported sightings, but these leads were lost to time.
- Mary and Arnoldo argued—Dalia, her sister-in-law, heard the fight through the shared wall of their duplex.
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Suspicious Behavior and Evidence:
- Soon after Mary vanished, Arnoldo was seen washing blood out of the back of his van and offered a suspect story about transporting pigs for a barbecue; Elva and Dalia found this unlikely.
- [18:02] “My brother came out... washing off blood off the van... he said, well, I had some pigs back there.” — Elva
- Mary’s distinctive necklace was found broken in the van—a piece of jewelry she reportedly never removed.
- Soon after Mary vanished, Arnoldo was seen washing blood out of the back of his van and offered a suspect story about transporting pigs for a barbecue; Elva and Dalia found this unlikely.
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Arnoldo's Subsequent Actions:
- Within weeks, Arnoldo left town, later returning to collect Virginia and move her to California. He showed little concern for Mary’s disappearance.
4. The Family’s Decades-Long Uncertainty
- Was Mary Missing or Dead?
- Mary had been vocally unhappy, and some relatives (and her son Joe) recalled she’d said she might disappear to escape abuse and start anew.
- [22:27] “His mother told him she wanted to move and start a new life and if he loved her, to not look for her.” — Det. Lauren Gonzalez, about Joe’s account
- However, the circumstances—no contact, her necklace left behind—made the family increasingly fear she was dead, likely at Arnoldo’s hands.
- Mary had been vocally unhappy, and some relatives (and her son Joe) recalled she’d said she might disappear to escape abuse and start anew.
5. The DNA Breakthrough and Jane Doe Identification
- In 2023, DNA from Mary’s relatives matched a skull found in Crane County oil fields in 1990—just 6 years after her vanishing.
- [29:01] “It was notification that the Crane County skull was in fact the mother of Joe and Irma and the sister of Elva... positively identified as Mary Mendez.” — Det. Lauren Gonzalez
- The skull—no other bone remains were ever found—had been previously linked to other missing Odessa women but never definitively matched to Mary due to investigational gaps and racial assumptions.
- Detective Gonzalez points out systemic investigative neglect for victims of color:
- [34:13] “None of the investigations were up to standard... but definitely not in the case of someone like Mary... even more scant when the victim is a minority.” — Det. Gonzalez
6. Revisiting Arnoldo and Alternative Theories
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Detective Gonzalez traveled to California to notify Arnoldo (Mary’s husband) and daughter Virginia about the DNA identification and interviewed them.
- Arnoldo denied involvement, repeated his old story, and seemed “genuinely” moved when shown a photograph of Mary.
- [39:15] “His eyes lit up and his smile seemed very genuine. ... I mean, if he did something to her, he is a master psychopath or something.” — Det. Gonzalez
- Arnoldo denied involvement, repeated his old story, and seemed “genuinely” moved when shown a photograph of Mary.
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However, much evidence (like the van) proved untraceable. Old police work had failed to collect or preserve records or potential forensic leads.
- [38:58] “That is something we can never get back.” — Det. Gonzalez on missing records/utilities.
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Possible alternative: Odessa was particularly violent during the oil boom era; Mary may have been victimized by a stranger. Yet most family members remain suspicious of Arnoldo or her ex-husband Alcario, given both men’s demonstrated violence.
7. Family Grieving and Lingering Questions
- A funeral for Mary was finally held, 39 years later. The family’s reunion was emotional, especially for Dalia and Virginia.
- [43:11] “She came up behind me... I turned around, looked at her and she looked at me and smiled. ... I remember everything you did for me and my Theo.” — Dalia recounting reunion with Virginia
- Arnoldo declined to attend, citing health.
- Family members wonder if truth will come in time for them to have “rest.”
- [46:18] “Until you find who did it. There's still no rest ... and I hope I live long enough to find out.” — Elva
8. Closing Reflections and Hopes for Justice
- Detective Gonzalez remains committed, inspired by a fortune cookie that read “truth seeks and finds the light of day” taped to her computer.
- [46:40] “I think it's pretty amazing she was found at all. So who knows what the future holds on this case?” — Det. Gonzalez
- [47:30] “It is okay to get lost in the weeds sometimes because you never know what you’re going to find. You may find a whole person.” — Det. Gonzalez
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- [03:38] “She's told me that their family would often talk about her aunt, wondering what happened to her.” — Det. Gonzalez, on Mary’s niece
- [11:09] “He beat on her all the time. One day... she walked in. She had a black eye, her mouth was busted and she said, look what he did to me just now.” — Elva
- [18:02] “Arnoldo was in the front yard with a van open, and he was washing off blood off the van in the back... He said, well, I had some pigs back there that I had bought.” — Elva
- [20:10] “He would always say, you know, if I want to get rid of somebody, I can jump up in a hole in the oil field.” — Dalia, recalling Arnoldo’s “jokes”
- [22:45] “I mean, I've seen him choker and [threaten to] kill her, but I personally seen his hands around my neck. I'm telling you, take the mouth on him, I'll kill you.” — Joe (Mary’s son), about Arnoldo
- [29:31] “I was so excited, I didn't even know what to do with myself. ... Like it was her the whole time.” — Det. Gonzalez on the DNA match
- [34:13] “None of the investigations were up to standard... definitely not in the case of someone like Mary... the investigations are even more scant when the victim is a minority.” — Det. Gonzalez
Key Timestamps for Important Segments
- [03:20] — Discovery of Mary’s misfiled case by Detective Gonzalez
- [07:44] — Detective Gonzalez reflects on choosing which cold case to pursue
- [09:37] — Elva recounts Mary’s abuse at hands of first husband
- [11:09] — Elva and Dalia describe further domestic violence by Arnoldo
- [15:02 – 16:07] — Night of Mary’s disappearance
- [18:02, 18:43] — Blood in the van and the broken necklace found
- [20:10] — Arnoldo’s dark jokes about disposing of someone in oil fields
- [22:45] — Joe’s account of domestic violence and Mary’s fears
- [28:11–29:01] — DNA breakthrough and identification of the Crane County skull
- [34:13] — Commentary on systemic bias in old investigations
- [39:15] — Arnoldo's interview and Detective Gonzalez’s reflections
- [43:11] — Funeral and the family’s emotional reckoning
- [46:18] — Elva on the family’s ongoing search for closure
- [46:40, 47:30] — Detective Gonzalez’s reflections on persistence and lost files
Conclusion
Mary “Mary Faye” Mendez’s case is a lesson in the tragic costs of investigative oversights but also the potential for justice and closure, even after decades, through dogged detective work and modern forensics. While the identification of Mary’s remains ended one chapter for her family, the truth of what happened—and who was responsible—remains elusive. Detective Gonzalez’s efforts highlight the importance of tenacity, empathy, and the willingness to “get lost in the weeds” for the sake of long-forgotten victims and their families.
If you have any information about Mary Mendez’s case, contact Detective Gonzalez at 432-335-4926 or submit an anonymous tip via Odessa Crimestoppers.
