Podcast Summary: The Deep Dish

Episode Title: Covetousness: The Sin Behind the Sin
Date: October 2, 2025
Host(s): Melissa Kruger & Courtney Doctor
Guest: Jackie Hill Perry

Overview

In this deeply honest and reflective episode, Melissa Kruger, Courtney Doctor, and guest Jackie Hill Perry tackle the difficult topic of covetousness—dubbed "the sin behind the sin." The trio unpacks what coveting truly means, explores its persistent hold on our hearts—even when we "have it all"—and discusses how discontentment, envy, and our desires are all interconnected. Drawing on Scripture, personal stories, and practical theology, they illuminate why covetousness is so rarely talked about and offer both conviction and hope for listeners seeking to root this sin out of their lives.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining Covetousness (03:34)

• Melissa Kruger: Offers a comprehensive definition: "An inordinate or culpable desire to possess often that which belongs to another."
  • Inordinate: A desire so deep it results in sin (perpetual discontent, for example).
  • Culpable: Wanting what is prohibited.
• Coveting is about both how and what we desire.

2. Covetousness & Discontentment: The Hidden Root (04:59)

• Jackie Hill Perry (B) discusses how eyes and comparison are part of the issue, but her personal experience with discontentment led her to realize covetousness was at the root.
  • "I started reading [Melissa's book], and it was profound to me that this was at the root of so many problems. I started tapping Preston at the... On the shoulder. I'm like, do you realize that if we die to this, we die to so many other things?" (06:38)

3. Genesis and the Seed of Discontent (06:46)

• Courtney Doctor (D): Highlights how even in Genesis, the enemy sows seeds of discontentment before any overt sin takes place.
• Reflects on how modern challenges are not new: "If we have eyes..."—the world as a source of comparison remains constant.

4. Boundary Lines and Contentment (08:58–09:59)

• The trio discusses Psalm 16 and the concept of "boundary lines"—limitations God gives us in life (talents, resources, circumstances).
  • Accepting our “lot” is a key to contentment.

5. The Deception of Covetousness—Getting What We Want Doesn’t Satisfy (10:00–12:04)

• Both Melissa and Jackie recount stories of achieving their desires only to find continued discontent.
  • Melissa: “It was almost the exposure of getting the life I thought I wanted that made me realize I needed a desperate heart change, not a circumstance change.” (10:00)
  • Jackie: Reads and reflects on a highlighted passage: "If my heart is not freed from this sin pattern, then I will go from initial coveting to more coveting, with attainment gaining me only temporary happiness." (10:40)
• Melissa: Points to King David's downfall post-attainment as a biblical precedent.

6. The Attainment Trap: Lessons from Genesis 3 (12:04–14:53)

• Jackie: “You think if I get the big house, I’ll be happy. But then your taxes are higher…”
• Covetousness is predicated on the belief that we know better than God; contentment says, “He just knows.”

7. Why Don’t We Talk About Covetousness? (15:11–18:24)

• Jackie: "I don't hear people teach about covetousness. Truthfully… I've heard about envy, I've heard about jealousy… but not this."
• Melissa: It’s easy to deflect, think it’s about money or “someone else’s problem.”
• Coveting feels “nasty or embarrassing” to admit, says Jackie—akin to the difference between admitting anger and admitting hurt.

8. Relationship Between Envy, Greed, Lust, and Coveting (19:19–21:24)

• Melissa: "Coveting is an umbrella sin."
  • Greed (possessions), Lust (sexual), Envy (wanting what someone else has).
  • Referencing the Ten Commandments: God categorizes multiple types of coveting to underscore its breadth.
• Covetousness is linked directly to idolatry (Colossians 3:5)—what we covet, we make into an idol.

9. The Deep-Rootedness of the Sin and the Need for Christ (22:23–24:36)

• Jackie: Reflects on how all-consuming sinful desire is—and points out, "that's why we need Christ."
• Suggests practical steps: prayer, honesty with other believers, fasting, and possibly limiting triggers (e.g., social media).
  • "Maybe your issue isn't porn, but you're following a lot of relationship accounts that's really messing with the way you view your husband." (23:38)

10. Self-Righteousness, Compassion, and Community (25:38–27:44)

• Melissa: Embracing how truly sinful we are leads to more compassion for others.
  • "The church's problem is we don't admit our own sin and we want to always look at the sins of other people..." (26:58)
• Engaging our own battle with covetousness creates understanding and humility.

11. Do We Sometimes Enjoy Being Coveted? (29:24–32:47)

• A rarely-discussed angle: “the desire for other people to covet us.”
  • Jackie: "We want to be wanted... If you are drawn to me, I'm going to use this beauty and steward this beauty so you can see where the beauty came from."
  • Temptation to enjoy admiration must give way to stewarding our gifts for God’s glory.

12. Recognizing the Signs of Covetousness (32:47–36:30)

• Signposts: Cravings, dissatisfaction, areas of bitterness or complaining.
• Jackie: "The intensity of the craving" is a red flag. Also, noticing patterns related to past wounds or lacks.
• Courtney: Areas of life where she is “complainy or bitter.”
• Melissa: Discontentment as “the echo of unbelief”—asks herself what she’s not believing about God.

13. Honest Lament vs. Coveting (38:38–41:53)

• The difference is who we take our complaints to:
  • Lament: Complaining to God (prayer, honesty, seeking help)
  • Murmuring: Complaining about God (bitterness, comparison)
• Psalm 88 and Tim Keller's sermon cited as powerful examples of biblical lament.

14. The Uniquely Christian Promise of Contentment (44:57–46:13)

• Ultimate contentment is rooted in Christ—no circumstance can change what He has won for us.
  • "No matter if everything is taken from us, everything, we will never lose Christ." (44:57)
• Only a Christian can say, "the lines have fallen for me in pleasant places" in all circumstances.

15. Lighthearted End: Childhood Coveting (47:01–49:31)

• Jackie: The one thing she coveted as a kid? Driving a car. Now as an adult, she realizes it’s not as great as she imagined.
  • "Now as a 36 year old with a car living in Atlanta... I don't actually want to drive that much." (47:14)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Melissa: “It was almost the exposure of getting the life I thought I wanted that made me realize I needed a desperate heart change, not a circumstance change.” (10:00)
• Jackie (reading from Melissa's book): “If my heart is not freed from this sin pattern, then I will go from initial coveting to more coveting, with attainment gaining me only temporary happiness.” (10:40)
• Courtney: “What would happen to me if you took it away?... I do not want my identity to be in what He's given.” (46:19)
• Jackie: “Maybe your issue isn’t porn, but you’re following a lot of relationship accounts... that’s really messing with the way you view your husband.” (23:38)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:34 – Working definition of covetousness
• 04:59 – Discontentment and the realization of covetousness
• 09:59–11:25 – The emptiness of getting what we want; it’s a heart issue
• 12:04 – Genesis 3, Eve’s desire, and the disappointment of obtaining what we covet
• 15:11 – Why covetousness is overlooked in the church
• 19:30 – The distinction and overlap between envy and coveting
• 21:33 – Covetousness as idolatry; the human heart as an idol factory
• 24:23 – Practical steps for combating covetousness: prayer, fasting, community
• 29:24 – The dark side of wanting others to envy us
• 32:47 – Recognizing signs of covetousness in one’s own life
• 38:38 – Difference between honest lament and coveting
• 44:57 – Contentment rooted in Christ alone

Tone & Atmosphere

As always, the Deep Dish podcast delivers a warm, honest, and inviting conversation, filled with laughter, vulnerability, scriptural depth, and practical wisdom. The hosts and guest share openly about their struggles—often with a dose of humility and humor—creating a safe space for listeners to reflect and grow.

Final Takeaways

• Covetousness is foundational: It’s not just about wanting someone else’s stuff—at its root, it’s a heart issue, closely tied to idolatry, dissatisfaction, and pride.
• Combatting it requires honesty, lament, prayer, and gospel community: Recognize the symptoms (discontent, craving, bitterness), address the root with God, and invite trusted others into the journey.
• Lasting contentment is found only in Christ: Even if every circumstance changes, what Jesus has secured is enough.
• Admitting our need for Jesus is the gateway to freedom and tenderheartedness toward others.