The Deep Dish Podcast: Episode Summary - "Mentoring in Real Life"

Release Date: March 6, 2025

Hosts: Melissa Krueger and Courtney Doctor
Guests: Vanessa K. Hawkins and Jen Wilkin

In the "Mentoring in Real Life" episode of The Deep Dish podcast by The Gospel Coalition, hosts Melissa Krueger and Courtney Doctor delve into the profound and practical aspects of mentoring and discipleship within the Christian community. Joined by esteemed guests Vanessa K. Hawkins and Jen Wilkin, the episode explores the biblical foundations, personal experiences, and actionable steps to foster meaningful mentoring relationships that transcend superficial interactions.

1. Defining Mentoring and Discipleship

Melissa Krueger initiates the conversation by distinguishing between mentoring and discipleship, prompting Vanessa and Jen to share their first impressions of these concepts.

• Vanessa K. Hawkins (01:40): "Coffee shops."
• Jen Wilkin (01:42): "Well, because by coffee is..."
• Melissa Krueger (01:45): "Where Jesus discipled. That's why we in a coffee shop."

This lighthearted exchange sets the stage for a deeper exploration. Vanessa elaborates on the distinction:

• Vanessa K. Hawkins (02:16): "Discipleship is distinctly Christian... causing Christ to be formed in you... mentoring is helping someone along that path, cheering them on."

Jen adds nuance by emphasizing the "life on life" aspect of mentoring:

• Jen Wilkin (03:45): "It's not formulaic. Discipleship isn't a one-size-fits-all; it incorporates best practices while allowing for personal relationships and growth."

2. The Biblical Foundation of Mentoring

The discussion pivots to the biblical basis for mentoring, highlighting Jesus' model of discipleship.

• Unknown Speaker (02:38): "Countless times in scripture do we see Jesus creating belonging before there's belief."
• Ian Wilkin (12:00): "Jesus lived with 12 disciples, demonstrating life-to-life relationships."

Vanessa reflects on her early mentorship experiences, drawing parallels to Jesus' approach:

• Vanessa K. Hawkins (12:19): "My first mentor was a high school math teacher who lived her Christian life... she was mentoring without even calling herself a mentor."

Jen shares a personal story about her grandmother's silent yet impactful mentorship:

• Unknown Speaker (14:31): "Watching her faithfulness in prayer and seeing her persevere shaped my own spiritual habits."

3. Personal Stories of Mentoring

Jen Wilkin recounts her experience with a dedicated children's minister, underscoring the importance of intentional mentorship.

• Jen Wilkin (16:19): "She saw something in me and invested her time, coaching me through challenges... she is still my mentor and friend."

Melissa shares her approach to fostering mentorship within Bible study groups:

• Melissa Krueger (10:09): "I asked older women to share testimonies on how God's word sustained them through tough seasons, enriching our Bible study experience."

4. Practical Steps for Building Mentoring Relationships

The hosts and guests offer actionable advice for both mentors and mentees seeking to cultivate effective discipleship relationships.

For Younger Women Seeking Mentors:

• Jen Wilkin (42:28): "Be specific in your request. Instead of a vague ask, approach with a clear intention, such as seeking guidance on marriage or parenting."
• Vanessa K. Hawkins (42:40): "Consider starting with mundane interactions that can organically develop into deeper spiritual conversations."

For Older Women Offering Mentorship:

• Melissa Krueger (48:41): "Show up in the spaces where younger women are present, such as small groups or church events, to build relationships naturally."
• Jen Wilkin (43:59): "Set clear boundaries and expectations from the outset to prevent misunderstandings and ensure a healthy mentoring dynamic."

5. Avoiding Common Pitfalls in Mentoring

The conversation addresses challenges that can arise in mentorship, offering strategies to maintain constructive and supportive relationships.

• Jen Wilkin (38:04): "Lead with questions rather than advice. Encourage mentees to explore their own solutions through thoughtful inquiry."
• Vanessa K. Hawkins (30:22): "Be wary of mentoring approaches that present an idealized version of Christian life. Authenticity is key."
• Jen Wilkin (49:45): "Balance offering advice with encouraging independent thought. Use personal experiences as data points, not prescriptive solutions."

6. The Essential Nature of Discipleship

The hosts and guests emphasize that discipleship is not merely an optional aspect of Christian life but a fundamental component of following Christ.

• Jen Wilkin (34:49): "Discipleship is not optional. When Christ called His disciples, He transformed their approach to discipleship entirely."
• Melissa Krueger (34:40): "We are all discipleship factories, being formed and forming others in diverse ways."

7. Integrating Mentoring with the Great Commission

Discussing the broader mission of the church, the panel underscores that mentoring is integral to fulfilling the Great Commission.

• Jen Wilkin (22:49): "The Great Commission involves making disciples, which encompasses both evangelism and ongoing discipleship."
• Melissa Krueger (27:02): "Discipleship relationships should reflect the Gospel, focusing on forming individuals into the likeness of Christ."

8. Recommended Resources

Towards the end of the episode, Melissa highlights valuable resources to aid in mentoring:

• Melissa Krueger (21:21): "Our book, 'Growing Together: Taking Mentoring Beyond Small Talk and Prayer Requests,' is a practical guide for fostering biblically grounded mentoring relationships."
• Vanessa K. Hawkins (21:58): "My childhood memory of my father tethering two trees serves as a metaphor for how mentors stand beside mentees, allowing God to facilitate growth."

9. Closing Thoughts and Encouragement

The episode concludes with heartfelt encouragement for listeners to engage in mentoring, whether as mentors or mentees.

• Melissa Krueger (51:04): "These relationships are mutually edifying. We are growing together."
• Jen Wilkin (34:49): "Discipleship is not optional; it's a call to transform how we live and lead in the faith."

Notable Quotes:

• Vanessa K. Hawkins
  [02:16]: "Discipleship is distinctly Christian... causing Christ to be formed in you... mentoring is helping someone along that path, cheering them on."

• Jen Wilkin
  [03:45]: "It's not formulaic. Discipleship isn't a one-size-fits-all; it incorporates best practices while allowing for personal relationships and growth."

• Melissa Krueger
  [21:21]: "Our book, 'Growing Together: Taking Mentoring Beyond Small Talk and Prayer Requests,' is a practical guide for fostering biblically grounded mentoring relationships."

• Jen Wilkin
  [42:28]: "Be specific in your request. Instead of a vague ask, approach with a clear intention, such as seeking guidance on marriage or parenting."

Conclusion

"Mentoring in Real Life" serves as a comprehensive guide for Christians seeking to deepen their discipleship practices. Through personal anecdotes, biblical insights, and practical advice, The Deep Dish emphasizes the transformative power of genuine, life-on-life mentoring relationships. Listeners are encouraged to both receive and offer mentorship with intentionality, authenticity, and a focus on fostering spiritual growth in alignment with the Gospel.