The Deep Dish Podcast Episode Summary

Podcast: The Deep Dish – The Gospel Coalition
Episode: Remembering Death Teaches Us to Live
Date: January 22, 2026
Host: Courtney Doctor
Special Guest: Colleen Chow
Co-host: (Opening) Melissa Kruger

Episode Overview

In this poignant and hope-filled episode, Courtney Doctor and Colleen Chow explore how facing mortality can deepen our dependence on Christ, cultivate true wisdom, and point us to eternal realities. Colleen shares her powerful story of wrestling with stage 4 cancer, how it has shaped her faith, and what it means to truly “set your mind on things above.” The conversation moves from the challenges of suffering and parenting through illness to the comfort of Christ’s nearness, the strengthening role of the local church, and the sustaining power of hymns.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Colleen’s Story: Living on the Razor’s Edge (03:52–06:57)

• Background: Colleen recounts God capturing her heart as a child, unexpectedly long singleness, getting married in her mid-30s, the birth of her ‘miracle baby’ son, and years of chronic illness for both mother and child.
• Cancer Diagnosis: After a brief season of normalcy, a lump led to an initial cancer diagnosis, chemotherapy, and surgery. This returned as stage 4 metastatic cancer; she now lives with a terminal prognosis (“living in that fragile place between here and heaven – the razor’s edge... some toes in eternity but a foot still firmly planted here” – Colleen, 05:15).

2. Trusting God in Suffering & Setting Minds on Eternity (06:57–15:54)

• Choosing Faith Over Bitterness: Colleen honestly describes the temptation to bitterness but emphasizes: “Jesus is so faithful... He’s not cheated me. He’s always outgiven me.” (08:00)
• God’s Transforming Work: She shares how suffering has pried open her clenched fists, teaching her to release idols and self-sufficiency: “When you know you’re dispensable, it really takes the gaze off of me... and puts them on Jesus and what lasts and what matters.” (08:36)
• Nearness of Jesus: Colleen’s experience affirms “the nearness of God is my good” (Ps 73), and she offers a memorable metaphor:
  “The shadow of death is overshadowed by the shadow of his wings. It’s a greater shadow, and it’s a safe one.” (12:59)
• Joy and Perspective on Heaven: Facing death makes the anticipation of heaven real, not abstract: “I will need a resurrected body to handle all of the goodness. Right. We can’t handle it on this side of things.” (14:29)
• Quoting Psalm 90:12 on wisdom: “It’s not depressing, it’s freeing... the glory of God to choose me and make me his own and love me and give me everything I need for life and godliness. This little vapor gives so much value, right?” (17:01)

3. Wrestling with Discouragement and Practically Staying Focused (20:08–23:53)

• Dealing with Fear & Discouragement: Colleen gives a candid, practical approach: pour out your heart to God first (“He gets the first and the fullest pouring...”) and then turn again and again to His Word (20:53).
• Walking Through, Not Around, Fear: “I don’t get to walk around the fear, but I’m walking through it with Jesus. And that’s everything. That’s everything.” (23:38)
• The Importance of Spiritual Habits: She underscores that abiding in Scripture before suffering struck became her foundation during it.

4. Theology of Suffering: When God Says “No” (24:43–28:26)

• Not Being Healed, Yet Glorifying God: Colleen tackles the tension of Jesus’ healing ministry and God’s purposefulness in not healing her – “Suffering to me... is a way to show the world his kingdom, because we can’t explain it, right?... I pray that they’ll have to reckon with you because of me and this story...” (25:00)
• Faith’s Purpose: “Your faith doesn’t obligate God, but it glorifies God. And that’s just a beautiful, beautiful display.” – Courtney (27:55)

5. Motherhood, Grief, and Tethering Her Son to Jesus (30:06–35:23)

• Parenting Through Terminal Illness: Colleen opens up about the pain of seeing her son grieve and learning to tether him not just to herself but to Jesus:
  “I got to make connections for him that I wouldn’t otherwise... All I can describe is Jesus was there with us.” (30:26)
• Honest Grief and Sacred Moments: She allowed space for any question or emotion – “You can ask anything, you can say anything, you can feel all the things...” (32:35)
• The Hardest Part: Trusting God with her child’s life is “bar none” the hardest aspect.

6. Trusting God With Our Children’s Stories (35:23–39:42)

• “Isaac on the Altar” Analogy: “It is a. It. It goes back to that clinging and just continuing to... put Isaac on the altar and to say, God, you will provide. You will provide, and you will do them good.” (35:30)
• Jesus Hates Death: Colleen is comforted by how scripture shows Jesus’ “dragon-like” response to death (Psalm 18, John 11)—He joins us in grief but has also defeated death (37:22).

7. The Gift of the Local Church (40:43–44:09)

• Deepened Love for Christ’s Bride: “The closer I get to going home, the more I love the church, I love the bride, and the more I work to, to make sure I’m connected with those people.” (41:51)
• Counteracting Isolation: Staying plugged into church keeps suffering in perspective and prevents loneliness:
  “It keeps the suffering in its place. As I’m hearing everybody’s stories, I’m like, wow, I can’t even imagine facing that.” (43:37)

8. Prayer Requests and Living Well to the End (44:33–46:47)

• What to Pray For:
  “Pray that I will endure joyfully. It’s daunting, and I am tired... I want to finish well, and I want to do it with joy.” (44:33)
  “For my guys [husband and son], that God’s hand would be mighty on their lives... that they would continue to have kingdom impact and live for you and... finish well and strong and by faith.” (46:00)

9. Music as Sustenance (48:00–49:03)

• Favorite Sustaining Hymn:
  “‘Be Still My Soul’... Through Thorny Ways leads to a Joyful end. If I was gonna get a tattoo, it would be that.” (48:08)
  (Colleen sings the first verse, 49:06)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The shadow of death is overshadowed by the shadow of his wings. It’s a greater shadow and it’s a safe one.” — Colleen, 12:59
• “When you know that you’re dispensable, it really takes the gaze off of me... and puts them on Jesus and what lasts and what matters.” — Colleen, 08:36
• “You can ask anything, you can say anything. You can feel all the things... it’s been a holy and very hard parenting journey.” — Colleen, 32:35
• “Your faith doesn’t obligate God, but it glorifies God.” — Courtney, 27:55
• “I don’t get to walk around the fear, but I’m walking through it with Jesus. And that’s everything.” — Colleen, 23:38
• (On suffering without bitterness) “Jesus is so faithful, and he’s just been so good to me, and he’s always out given me. He’s not cheated me.” — Colleen, 08:00
• “If you give up homes and fields and parents and children, he will give a hundred times over in this life and the next. And so we bank on that.” — Colleen, 39:02

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Colleen shares her story: 03:52–06:57
• Joy & trust through illness: 08:00–10:13
• Nearness of Jesus in suffering: 11:17–13:32
• Longing for heaven & perspective: 14:29–15:54
• Impact on her son and parenting grief: 30:06–35:23
• Trusting God with children’s stories: 35:23–39:42
• The role of the local church: 40:43–44:09
• Prayer requests: 44:33–46:47
• Favorite hymn (“Be Still My Soul”): 48:08–49:03

Final Thought

This conversation is an authentic, grounded, and theologically rich meditation on the meaning of suffering, the hope of resurrection, and the daily practice of faith. Colleen’s willingness to face mortality has taught her to live more freely, hopefully, and open-heartedly for Christ—a lesson and invitation for all believers, no matter their circumstances.