Podcast Summary: The Determined Society with Shawn French

Episode: How Nicole Jaques Helps Parents Replace Chaos With Connection
Date: January 16, 2026
Host: Shawn French
Guest: Nicole Jaques

Episode Overview

This episode features Nicole Jaques, known as the “House CEO,” a published author, and system-building expert for home management, who shares actionable insights to help parents replace household chaos with true family connection. Host Shawn French steers the conversation to uncover practical strategies for time management, partnership, boundaries, and leadership within the home—emphasizing that being a parent and running a home is both valuable and worthy of professional-level respect.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reframing the Role: From “Stay-at-Home Parent” to “House CEO”

• Nicole’s Core Message: Traditional narratives often underplay the complexity of running a household. Nicole encourages parents, especially stay-at-home moms, to see themselves as empowered CEOs actively leading their families.
  • “It was not what I was doing. I was so much more than that.” —Nicole (04:18)
  • “I'm a businesswoman by heart and trade and brain. Why can't those systems that I had put in place prior to, in my corporate career, be put in place in the home?” —Nicole (05:08)

2. Building and Implementing Systems at Home

• Time Blocking:
  • Time blocking is Nicole’s top strategy: segment the day using a clock, estimate task duration, and assign slots for chores, self-care, and hobbies.
  • “Once you start time blocking your day, you'll realize, oh, I have a lot more time to focus on things I want to be focused on.” —Nicole (07:56)
• Making Rest a Priority:
  • Nicole and Shawn discuss redefining “rest” as essential, not indulgent, whether it’s reading, leisure, or downtime with loved ones.
  • “Rest is just as important as work.” —Nicole (10:43)
  • “Being able to actually just shut down and rest ... for me, that does shut my brain off.” —Shawn (13:32)
• Delegation and Family Participation:
  • Nicole emphasizes giving children age-appropriate responsibilities to foster independence, reduce parental burnout, and create natural opportunities for connection.
  • “The most successful children coming out of families right now are the ones that are in the system to help the house run, not the ones that get excused from it.” —Nicole (41:03)

3. Managing and Sharing the Mental Load

• Making the Mental Load Visible:
  • Document everything required to run the home for a month, share those lists, and collaboratively construct sustainable systems.
  • “The mental load. It isn't invisible. It's undocumented. And if we start documenting, if you made a list ... those systems become shared.” —Nicole (30:40)
• Default Parent Recognition & Operationalizing Roles:
  • Define which parent is “default” for various domains (meals, school events, laundry), not as a burden but as a professionalized, shared leadership.
  • “I became [default parent] because someone had to design the system that would work for the family.” —Nicole (25:47)
  • “My husband and I ... decided we were going to stop trying to escape being the default parent and just professionalize it.” —Nicole (27:45)

4. Systems for Common Household Challenges

• Laundry:
  • Simplify laundry routines: minimal products, custom basket placement based on habits, stick to a manageable schedule (e.g., one load a day).
  • “If you simplify the tools you’re using ... it's going to be a simpler, easier process.” —Nicole (35:28)
• Getting Kids Out the Door:
  • Creative solutions, like assigning “sticky lights” to tasks in the morning, turn routines into games by setting expectations and timing.
  • “I put on the wall one for my son and one for my daughter ... they are the one who is going to turn off all the lights in order to get out the door on time.” —Nicole (33:08)

5. Connection Over Perfection

• Creating Anchors & Family Rituals:
  • Identify two “connection anchors” daily—morning send-off, after-school check-in, or bedtime moments.
  • “Short, consistent beats, long and rare. ... The goal is not Pinterest, it's just belonging.” —Nicole (46:28, 46:52)
• Involving Children Through Choice:
  • Offer children a choice of tasks within systems, empowering ownership and connection.
  • “You give them two options, they get to choose, that's it. ... they feel empowered they made the choice and ... they're more committed to the task at hand.” —Nicole (41:43)

6. Boundaries and Technology in Parenting

• Phones, Social Media, and Guardrails:
  • Nicole and Shawn reflect on resisting the temptation to use screens as parent replacements, upholding screen-free zones, and role-modeling device etiquette.
  • “Phones don't steal connection. Lack of boundary does.” —Nicole (57:01)
  • “We have a lockbox that my husband and I put our phones in from 5-9. We don't need them. We have a landline ... We pledge to wait till 8 [for smartphones].” —Nicole (47:56)
• Repair Over Shame:
  • Normalize apologies and ownership when boundaries slip; reinforce resilience and communication.
  • “If I slip, I know how to repair. ... repairing teaches resilience.” —Nicole (54:31)

7. Actionable Advice for Overwhelmed Parents

• Start Simple, Gain Momentum:
  • Don’t try to change everything overnight—pick three tasks a day (even small ones) and build from there.
  • “Pick the task that you don't really want to do and just do it. ... True determination and discipline is doing those things.” —Shawn (63:10)
  • “Choose three things and just get those three things done in the day ... That's all you need.” —Nicole (65:04)
• Perfection Not Required:
  • Systems serve you, not the other way around; embrace the messiness and continual effort.
  • “There is failure every day in what I do. You'll find that I show up on my stories with my hair in a mess and I have my shirt on backwards.” —Nicole (64:27)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Empowerment:
  • “I want to position other parents like me ... to have this feeling of empowerment because without them, this built outside of this world ... doesn't exist.” —Nicole (05:25)
• On Rest and Self-Care:
  • “What I realized that I never really valued prior to having kids was rest. That I underutilized rest.” —Nicole (10:16)
• On Accountability and Triggers:
  • “It's a reflection of how well you're balancing, not them. And when we take accountability for that, as the house CEO, we start to step into our power and that's when the shift starts to happen.” —Nicole (14:47)
• On Perfection:
  • “Phones don't steal connection. Lack of boundary does.” —Nicole (57:01)
  • “It isn't loud grit all the time or endless hustle like I was told ... it's kind of like the quiet decision to keep choosing what matters.” —Nicole (61:41)
• On Small Steps:
  • “Choose three things ... do the dishes, put something in a crock pot ... take a nap, do yoga ... three things.” —Nicole (65:04)
• On Family Technology Agreements:
  • “A little one pager, kid-friendly screen schedule ... a partner alignment agreement ... it doesn't have to be this whole system.” —Nicole (57:59)

Important Timestamps

• [04:13] Nicole’s backstory—shifting from career to “House CEO”
• [07:11] Time blocking explained
• [10:03] The importance of rest and self-fulfillment
• [13:57] Boundaries around rest and overcoming resentment
• [25:47] Default parenting defined
• [33:08] “Sticky lights” system—getting kids ready in the morning
• [35:28] Laundry systems and division of labor example
• [41:03] Kids’ responsibilities and family connection
• [46:28, 46:52] Daily connection anchors
• [47:56] Managing phone/screen use in the family
• [57:01] Phones and boundaries—the real challenge
• [65:04] The “three things” daily rule

Where to Find Nicole Jaques

• Website/Blog: nicolejaques.com
  • Tips, systems, low-tox living, and newsletter
• Instagram: @itsnicolejaques
  • Daily content, community, and real-life stories
• Newsletter: Sign up on website for actionable home and mindset tips
• Book: Upcoming published book launching in 2027

Podcast Takeaway

Nicole’s philosophy and tools emphasize replacing household chaos with intentional connection and practical leadership. Her approach—rooted in both empathy and structure—empowers parents to utilize small, sustainable systems, prioritize self-care, harness boundaries around tech, and foster family collaboration. As Nicole and Shawn reinforce, “true determination is doing the quiet, daily things that bring fulfillment, structure, and connection—not endless hustle or perfection.”

If you’re ready to bring more calm, capability, and connection to your home, check out Nicole’s resources and start with just three things a day—one system at a time.