Podcast Summary: The Determined Society with Shawn French

Episode: How to Take Your Power Back After Toxic Relationships with Sarah Davison

Release Date: January 5, 2026
Host: Shawn French
Guest: Sarah Davison – Divorce and Breakup Coach, Author of “Screw You, Watch This”

Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into reclaiming personal power after toxic relationships with world-renowned breakup and divorce coach Sarah Davison. Drawing on their personal stories, professional expertise, and Sarah's upcoming book "Screw You, Watch This," the conversation addresses how to recognize toxic dynamics, break unhealthy cycles, empower oneself and one’s children, and take actionable steps toward healing. The dialogue is candid, energetic, and full of practical guidance for anyone dealing with heartbreak or difficult relationship transitions.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sarah’s Story and Entry into the Field

• Motivation through Experience: Sarah shares that her work as a breakup and divorce coach came from experiencing multiple toxic relationships and hitting “rock bottom.”
  • Quote: “I never dreamed of becoming the divorce coach… I’ve been in more than one toxic relationship and I spent a lot of time just being sad and being scared. Enough is enough. I’m going to take my power back.” [01:18]
• Turning Point:
  • A pivotal, emotional moment happened while sitting heartbroken on a beach in Australia where a cockatoo landed at her feet, inspiring her to reclaim her power—birthing her motto: “Screw you, watch this.”
  • Quote: “Enough is enough. I’m gonna take my power back. And that is actually where my motto, screw you. Watch this was born.” [23:54]
• Professional Journey: Sarah leveraged her prior coaching experience to develop targeted tools for recovery, later establishing a coaching school with worldwide reach.

2. Recognizing Toxic Relationships

• Common Patterns: Toxic relationships often follow a slow-burn progression from intense affection to escalating control, gaslighting, and isolation.
  • Quote: “At the beginning we get in because they make us feel amazing... Over time, that mask starts to drop…” [04:34]
• Warning Signs:
  • Difficulty communicating freely
  • Constantly making excuses for a partner’s behavior
  • Emotional confusion, gaslighting, isolation
  • Repetitive cycles of tension and false peace
  • Quote: “If you can’t express how you’re feeling...if someone’s lying to you, if they’re confusing you...that’s the key.” [04:34]

3. The Cyclical Nature of Toxic Relationships & Family Impact

• Intergenerational Patterns: Unless interrupted, toxic dynamics can pass down through children.
  • Quote: “If you don’t break them [cycles], then they continue on to your children. … If the kids don’t break it, it’s going to go to your grandkids. I mean, this is a big deal.” [09:29]
• Divorce and Children:
  • Divorce or separation can be less damaging to children than staying in a toxic environment if parents provide tools and emotional education.
  • Quote: “Yes, it can damage children for sure, but it doesn’t have to… it can be a valuable life lesson for your children if they understand what these toxic relationships look like.” [10:05]
• Healthy Emotional Modeling:
  • Parents should express real, healthy emotions to model coping and resilience for their kids.

4. Practical Strategies for Healing and Empowerment

• The “Screw You, Watch This” Mindset:
  • A three-step process for breaking free from disempowering beliefs and patterns:
    1. Identify what (person, feeling, fear, habit) is holding you back
    2. Shift Physiology: Stand tall, change your posture, adopt a confident attitude
    3. Take Action: Make one concrete move—no matter how small—to generate momentum
  • Quote: “Step one, think about the thing that’s holding you back... Step two, shift your physiology... Step three, just to take some action.” [29:04]
• Small Steps for Change:
  • Break big goals down into small actions. Consistency, not perfection, builds resilience and lasting change.
  • Quote: “A small step every day is a huge leap forward, even just a month.” [32:18]
• Self-Care is Essential, Not Selfish:
  • Making time for physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing is vital for personal recovery and effective parenting.
  • Quote: “A lot of empaths … feel that self care is selfish… It’s not selfish, it’s essential because otherwise you get to the point where you can’t help anybody.” [36:56]

5. Dealing with Co-Parenting, Separation, and Loneliness

• Uniqueness of the Co-Parenting Struggle:
  • Grieving time apart from children and managing new relationships can be intensely challenging, but focusing on personal growth during those times brings long-term benefits.
  • Quote: “If you’re relying on someone else to fix the gaps in you, you’re screwed on that front. You’ve got to take responsibility and accountability to do the work, to heal you…” [46:43]
• Support and Community:
  • Sarah runs free weekly online coaching groups for ongoing connection, emphasizing the importance of “finding your tribe.”

6. Tools for Managing Emotional Fallout & “Pet Psycho” Tactics

• Post-Separation Abuse:
  • Emotional manipulation can persist even after physical separation.
  • Sarah’s “gameplay checklist” in her book teaches clients to disconnect emotionally by recognizing toxic tactics and refusing to react to manipulative “grenades.”
  • Quote: “Instead of chasing the grenade down into the rabbit warren… you get your tactic list, which is in the book … tick them off. What that does is it gives you the emotional ability to dial down that intensity...” [49:21]
• Changing the Narrative:
  • Replace re-telling old stories with envisioning a positive future.

7. The Power of Determination and Resilience

• Definition of Determination:
  • Sarah: “Watch this.” [53:06]
  • Shawn: “Because it’s backed by process, it’s backed by action.” [53:13]
  • The “screw you, watch this” attitude is framed as the fuel for transformation.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Sarah on Initiation and Empowerment:

  “That old story of who I can amount to be is not for me anymore...I’m stepping up, I’m taking my power back.” [24:32]

• Shawn on Breaking Family Patterns:

  “What are you teaching the kids about love, about marriage, about healthy relationships? … They will repeat this.” [17:40]

• Sarah on Taking Action:

  “You cannot move towards something you can’t see… this is all about taking your power back to throw as much color on that canvas…” [28:34]

• On Emotional Triggers:

  Sarah: “Your pet psycho will have their favorites … you can say right now with this clarity and calmness, what do I choose to do?” [51:46]

• On Self-Care:

  “Taking care of yourself first and foremost is not selfish… it’s the most selfless thing you can do.” [37:52]

Key Timestamps

• [01:18] – Sarah describes her motto’s origin story and personal journey
• [04:34] – Signs and patterns of toxic and abusive relationships
• [09:29] – The generational impact of toxic family cycles
• [10:05] – Divorce, children, and the possibility of positive outcomes
• [23:54] – The beach and the cockatoo: Sarah’s moment of transformation
• [28:34] – “Screw you, watch this” process explained
• [32:18] – The power of small steps in making sticky, lasting change
• [36:56] – Reframing self-care as essential
• [41:23] – Coping with missing children, co-parenting, and group support
• [49:21] – The “gameplay checklist” and emotionally detaching from manipulators
• [53:06] – Sarah’s succinct definition of determination: “Watch this.”

Resources & Where to Find Sarah Davison

• Website: saradavison.com
• Instagram: @saradavisondivorcecoach
• Free online support groups: [details on her website]

Tone and Takeaways

The conversation is candid, empathetic, and motivating, blending practical strategies with heartfelt honesty. Both Shawn and Sarah keep things accessible—with humor, British-American cultural asides, and stories from their own lives. The episode provides a robust toolkit for listeners at any stage of leaving a toxic relationship or supporting someone who is, anchored by the powerful mindset: “Screw you, watch this.”

If you’re struggling with a difficult breakup, co-parenting, or simply feeling stuck, this episode’s actionable insights will help you get unstuck, reclaim your power, and step forward—one small action at a time.