Podcast Summary: "Kindness Is Power and Rejection Built Me"

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Determined Society with Shawn French
• Host: Shawn French
• Guest: Brad Meltzer, American Novelist
• Episode: Kindness Is Power and Rejection Built Me
• Release Date: May 12, 2025

1. Introduction and Guest Overview

In this compelling episode of The Determined Society, host Shawn French welcomes renowned American novelist Brad Meltzer, celebrated for achieving a remarkable "13 for 13" streak on the New York Times Bestsellers List. French emphasizes Meltzer's ability to transform every project into a success, setting the stage for a deep and insightful conversation about personal development, resilience, and the transformative power of kindness.

2. Brad Meltzer's Early Life and Family Dynamics

Brad Meltzer opens up about his tumultuous upbringing in Brooklyn, highlighting the profound influence of his father’s volatile temperament. He shares a poignant memory from his childhood:

Brad Meltzer (04:10): "Cruelty and venom aren't signs of strength. They're signs of weakness and petty insecurity. What takes strength is showing kindness and showing empathy."

Meltzer recounts how his father's anger and the harsh environment at home could have perpetuated a cycle of violence, reminiscent of his own grandfather’s abusive behavior. However, his parents’ unwavering love provided him with a foundation of empathy and kindness, enabling him to break free from this destructive cycle.

3. The Power of Kindness and Empathy

A central theme of the episode is the profound impact of kindness and empathy. Meltzer narrates a transformative experience during his teenage years:

Brad Meltzer (04:30): "Mercy is what she showed us today. Cruelty and venom... what takes strength is showing kindness and showing empathy."

He describes how a compassionate neighbor, whom he refers to as Mercy, offered his family temporary accommodation during a desperate time. This act of kindness became a cornerstone of Meltzer's philosophy, illustrating that true strength lies in empathy rather than aggression.

4. Overcoming Rejections and Building Success

Meltzer delves into his journey as an author, particularly focusing on resilience in the face of rejection. He shares the pivotal moment when he received his 23rd and 24th rejection letters, which initially felt devastating. Instead of succumbing to despair, Meltzer used these rejections as fuel to persevere:

Brad Meltzer (37:03): "Every day, Sean, here's my secret that I sit down to write. I replay that moment. I think about it... That's my magic trick."

Meltzer emphasizes that each rejection letter was not a setback but a stepping stone towards his eventual success, reinforcing the importance of persistence and determination.

5. Highlights from the Commencement Speech at University of Michigan

Meltzer recounts his heartfelt commencement speech at the University of Michigan, where he shared personal anecdotes to inspire graduates. The speech focused on the magic of kindness and the importance of empathy in building meaningful connections. One of the most impactful moments was when Meltzer shared his childhood struggle and the neighbor's act of kindness, resonating deeply with the audience:

Brad Meltzer (21:08): "Just because we're kind, just because we're real and authentic, doesn't mean we don't have that streak to us."

This approach not only captivated the audience but also underscored the central message that empathy and kindness are vital in overcoming adversity.

6. Impact on Parenting and Legacy

The conversation naturally transitions to the influence of Meltzer's values on his own parenting. Both Meltzer and French reflect on how their experiences have shaped their approach to raising their children, emphasizing the importance of instilling empathy and resilience:

Brad Meltzer (26:22): "I believe ordinary people change the world. I don't care where you went to school. I don't care how much money you make. That's nonsense to me."

Meltzer shares touching stories about his children, illustrating how the lessons of kindness and determination are being passed down to the next generation.

7. Concluding Insights on Determination and Empathy

As the episode draws to a close, Meltzer and French discuss the broader societal implications of embracing kindness and empathy. Meltzer stresses that in a world rife with negativity and division, choosing to focus on personal growth and compassionate actions can lead to substantial positive change:

Brad Meltzer (40:46): "I believe ordinary people change the world... We all have hopes. We have dreams for them, right? And when you meet people, they don't want to fight, but the Internet is like someone said, and it's so right."

Meltzer encapsulates his philosophy by encouraging listeners to harness their fears, use rejection as motivation, and prioritize empathy over aggression. He emphasizes that the collective effort of ordinary individuals can transform society into a more compassionate and understanding place.

Key Takeaways:

• Kindness as Strength: True strength lies in showing empathy and kindness, not in cruelty or aggression.
• Resilience Through Rejection: Persistence in the face of rejection is crucial for eventual success.
• Impact of Personal Stories: Sharing personal experiences can inspire and connect deeply with others.
• Empathy in Parenting: Instilling empathy and resilience in children is foundational for their personal development.
• Societal Transformation: Collective acts of kindness and understanding can lead to meaningful societal change.

Notable Quotes:

• Brad Meltzer (04:10): "Cruelty and venom aren't signs of strength. They're signs of weakness and petty insecurity. What takes strength is showing kindness and showing empathy."
• Brad Meltzer (37:03): "Every day, Sean, here's my secret that I sit down to write. I replay that moment. I think about it... That's my magic trick."
• Brad Meltzer (40:46): "I believe ordinary people change the world. I don't care where you went to school. I don't care how much money you make. That's nonsense to me."

This episode of The Determined Society offers a profound exploration of how kindness and resilience shape personal and professional success. Brad Meltzer's candid narratives serve as both inspiration and a guide for listeners striving to navigate their own challenges with empathy and determination.