The Determined Society with Shawn French

Episode: Surviving Trauma, Building Strength: Jerome on Fatherhood, Healing & Determination
Date: December 8, 2025
Guest: Jerome (Entrepreneur, Publisher, Mental Health Advocate)

Episode Overview

In this powerful and intimate episode, Shawn French welcomes Jerome—digital entrepreneur, founder of Valiant CEO magazine, and passionate mental health advocate. Together, they dive deep into generational trauma, the challenges of fatherhood, mental health stigma (especially among men), breaking cycles of pain, and the crucial concept of determination—both in parenting and life. The conversation is sprinkled with raw personal stories, humor, and actionable insights, making it resonate at a profound human level for listeners navigating adversity.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Men and Mental Health: Breaking Generational Stigma

• Stigma of Men Showing Emotion (00:06-00:24):
  • Both Shawn and Jerome reflect on their upbringings: “Boys don’t cry. Shove those feelings down. But it just creates anger and a lack of self-confidence.” – Shawn [00:06]
  • Jerome underscores the damage: “If you don’t talk about it, if you don’t name it, you can’t fix it. It messes up everything.” – Jerome [00:13]
• The ‘Pandemic’ of Mental Health Struggles (04:06):
  • Jerome draws a parallel to COVID, calling mental health struggles a "massive pandemic." He emphasizes how entrepreneurs, burdened with responsibility, often hide weakness, preventing healing.
• Generational Trauma and the Need to 'Name the Monster' (05:33–06:46):
  • Importance of naming and discussing trauma, both genetic and behavioral
  • “If you let the monster out, it’s gone. It’s not in the house anymore.” – Jerome [06:46]

2. Jerome’s Story: Deep Roots of Trauma

• Prenatal Trauma & Family Discovery (07:08–14:15):
  • Jerome reveals his own high ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) score—8 out of 10—and recounts a shocking family revelation via therapy:
    • After reviewing timelines and medical records, it comes to light he was likely a twin, and his twin may have been lost through selective abortion using potassium, a fact only uncovered through persistent digging and therapy.
    • “I was born in a womb full of war zone... All the pieces came together.” – Jerome [11:42]
  • The trauma extends back generations: parents who survived WWII's aftermath in Poland, “catching rats to eat them to survive in a ghetto,” with overt emotional expressions and love nearly absent in the household.
• Aftermath: Disconnection and Long-Term Effects (14:31–17:23):
  • Childhood spent largely with a nanny while both parents worked. The difficulty in forming parental bonds—“I don’t even know who she is…my parents were that nanny, and not my parents.” – Jerome [15:04]
  • Discovery and discussion about the ACE score and how suppressed or unnamed trauma can echo through all facets of life. Jerome praises The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk as a life-saving, accessible resource.

3. Determination and Breaking the Cycle as a Parent

• Parenting with Determination (18:12–24:22):
  • Both hosts speak frankly about the anxiety of becoming a parent after experiencing trauma and the determination it takes to “not repeat the cycle.”
    • “Determined 24/7. To not repeat the cycle, to be better, to demonstrate love.” – Jerome [18:43]
    • Resilience comes from feeling loved—"If you don’t feel loved, you’re going to find somebody that will make you feel loved." – Jerome [27:34]
  • Shawn emphasizes: Determination is not just grit or intensity; it’s being intentional in small, critical moments—choosing responses over reactions with your children, which builds true resilience.
    • “You don’t always have to react…those are the moments we build resilience.” – Shawn [24:11]
• Importance of Apologizing and Modeling Humanity (28:10–29:58):
  • Both agree parents must show their humanity and apologize:
    • “It is okay to apologize to your children. … The respect factor that you get.” – Shawn [28:49]
    • “Apology brings you back down to what the true level is…You try, you goof up, you try again, you get back up, you fail.” – Jerome [29:58]
• Knowing and Meeting Your Children’s Love Languages (30:33–31:53):
  • “Ask your kids: ‘Do you know I love you? … How do you know?’ They’ll tell you how they want to be loved.” – Shawn [30:33]
  • Adjusting parenting to each child’s unique needs, learning their “love language,” and teaching them how to recognize and desire healthy love.

4. Social Context: Medication, Food Choices, & Societal Barriers

• Access to Affordable Medication (32:23–38:46):
  • Jerome shares about his involvement with FreeRx, which, by removing 11 middlemen, provides affordable prescriptions and telehealth for families ($50/month for a family of five, covering the 1,000 most commonly prescribed meds).
  • “People shouldn’t have to choose between food and medication.” – Jerome [33:56]
  • Anecdotes from both about times when medication costs were impossibly high.
• Food Insecurity and “Fake Food” (39:06–42:38):
  • Discussion about the prevalence of cheap, processed foods and difficulty accessing quality nutrition for families on tight budgets.
    • “We’re eating stuff that is stuff. It’s not food.” – Jerome [41:54]
    • They both lament how busy family schedules and societal pace have made real cooking, and thus nutritious eating, much harder.
• Parenting Challenges in Modern Culture (43:32–49:57):
  • Time scarcity, safety concerns, loss of traditional knowledge, overprotection vs. healthy independence, and the pervasiveness of inappropriate content and messaging in children’s media.
  • “It is critically hard to find a cartoon or show that doesn’t inject some subliminal BS or agenda.” – Jerome [54:09]
  • Parents must remain vigilant, teach kids to identify red flags, and foster real-world critical thinking and self-protection.

5. The Weight and Joys of Fatherhood

• Parental Fears, Apprehensions, and Legacy (52:20–56:39):
  • Fears center on not being present enough, not having clarity, or not setting the right compass for kids’ future lives, especially as an older parent.
    • “What we are is we’re the guides. Not just the memories.” – Jerome [56:06]
  • Both share anxieties about life expectancy, health, and being able to walk their children down the aisle or defend and guide them as they grow.

Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

• Naming the Monster:
  “If you let the monster out, it’s gone. It’s not in the house anymore. And then you can fix it.” – Jerome [06:44]
• Resilience and Love:
  “Resilience comes from feeling loved. … I didn’t have a love anchor.” – Jerome [19:00]
• Parenting with Clarity:
  “The determination that matters most, especially as a parent, is to have clarity on the destination… and what is it that you do not want. That’s the determination that is the most important.” – Jerome [24:22]
• Cycle Breaking:
  “If you react and you don’t show the determination to handle it differently, you keep the cycle going.” – Shawn [23:21]
• On Food Deserts:
  “We picture Ethiopia, food shortages… but I guarantee you, Jesus walks into any of our stores, he looks at all those aisles packed with food, and he said, this is not food.” – Jerome [41:52]
• On Seeking Help:
  “You dudes out there, you may be big, you may be strong, but you need to open up to your boys, you need to open up to people, and you need to talk to each other because men can really help each other out if you guys really commit to it.” – Shawn [59:55]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:06 – Men and emotions, stigma of sharing
• 07:08 – Jerome’s family history, prenatal trauma revelation
• 14:15 – Effects of emotional disconnection in childhood
• 18:12 – Becoming a parent, generational cycles, using determination to heal
• 24:22 – Clarifying values and breaking cycles as a parent
• 28:33 – Importance of apologizing and showing vulnerability
• 30:33 – Learning your child’s love language
• 32:23 – Affordable medication & FreeRx discussion
• 39:06 – Nutrition barriers, food insecurity
• 43:32 – Time management, cultural changes, safety concerns
• 54:09 – Media influence and protecting children’s minds
• 55:37 – Fears about legacy and life expectancy as a parent
• 59:07 – Importance of openness, 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Takeaways & Actionable Insights

• Open up about trauma—naming pain is critical to healing.
• Determination isn’t raw force; it’s sustained intention through difficult, daily moments, especially in parenting.
• Breaking cycles takes clarity about what you do and do not want to pass to your kids.
• Show your kids (and those you love) consistent, unconditional love; strive for excellence, not perfection.
• Apologize as a parent—modeling vulnerability builds trust and respect.
• Seek practical resources for mental and physical wellness.
• Lighten burdens for families: investigate affordable healthcare solutions (like FreeRx).
• Teach kids self-protection, discernment, and healthy communication.
• Men, especially: build community by honestly sharing struggles and emotions.

Resources Mentioned

• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk (recommended by Jerome)
• FreeRx.com – Affordable prescription membership
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – National support for those in crisis

Closing Thought

“Just talk about it. Grab a buddy… it’s good to get that out.” – Shawn

“Determination is about clarity on where you want to go and what you refuse to pass on to your kids—then sticking to that, no matter what the world throws at you.” – Jerome

For anyone wrestling with trauma, parenting doubts, or feeling alone in struggle—this episode encourages, equips, and reminds us: Breaking cycles is possible with honesty, love, and a determined heart.