Podcast Summary:

The Determined Society with Shawn French – “The Woman Who Refused to Break: Guerdy Abraira on Healing, Identity & Strength”
Date: November 28, 2025
Host: Shawn French
Guests: Guerdy Abraira and Russell (her husband)

Episode Overview

This emotionally charged episode features event planner, TV personality, and cancer survivor Guerdy Abraira alongside her husband, Russell. The focus: Guerdy’s memoir From Trauma to Trophies and her journey of resilience from a tumultuous childhood, cultural adaptation, and bullying to career reinvention and overcoming breast cancer. Guerdy and Russell open up about navigating identity, healing past and recent traumas, family, marriage, and Guerdy’s unique philosophies for living authentically. Expect real talk, laughter, and raw candor about what it means to survive, thrive, and define your worth.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Memoir: From Trauma to Trophies

[00:00–03:14, 47:35–54:48]

• Guerdy’s book is both a cathartic personal reflection and a resource for others.
  • Each chapter ends with a QR code for deeper exploration and visuals.
• Writing the memoir was deeply healing: “Honestly, writing it was so cathartic… you have to keep writing and you have to make sure that when you hit that sentence, that it’s exactly, exactly what you mean.” – Guerdy [00:07]
• The “trophy” is not material; it’s about living, surviving, and loving authentically.

2. Childhood: Immigration, Belonging & Reinvention

[02:21–08:11]

• Born in Haiti, family fled political turmoil to Paris, and then immigrated to America.
• Profound dislocation at age 9: left in the U.S. with relatives, not speaking English, separated from siblings for three months.
  • This instilled a deep sense of “not belonging” and trauma, which she later channeled into adaptability and resilience.
• Guerdy coins herself a “chameleon of culture,” able to fit in anywhere, but sometimes at a cost: “You could belong everywhere, but then you can belong nowhere.” – Guerdy [07:12]

3. Reinvention & Identity

[08:11–10:52]

• Guerdy’s life is threaded with continual reinvention, from cultural adaptation to building a career as a top event planner in elite circles.
• Russell calls her “remarkable” for evolving through every phase of life, noting it became easier when they met as high school sweethearts.

4. Behind the Persona: The Double-Edged Gift of Connection

[09:50–13:06]

• Guerdy has a magnetic, energetic persona—and recognizes it can hide silent struggles.
• Therapy has helped her unpack why she seeks to serve and people-please: "Why did Gertie become a party planner to the stars? ...because I wanted you to know I am worth it, I am worthy, and I am of the highest value." – Guerdy [12:04]
• The exhaustion of being ‘the connector’ is real; healing requires boundaries and self-awareness.

5. Let Me Theory vs. Let Them Theory

[13:27–19:39]

• Inspired by Mel Robbins’s “Let Them” but evolved it into “Let Me”: not just letting others do as they wish, but empowering herself to choose her own reactions, boundaries, and healing.
  • “Let me be me. Let me do this. Let me feel the way I’m feeling... let me take my power back and fight for my brand.” – Guerdy [14:04]
• Practical outgrowth: Not accepting apologies just to make others comfortable; standing her ground and prioritizing her peace.

6. Navigating Betrayal, Public Life, and Brand Integrity

[16:46–23:45]

• Guerdy recounts being “outed” about her cancer diagnosis by a castmate on “Real Housewives of Miami,” and subsequent betrayals and lies affecting her reputation.
• Standing firm and “showing receipts” on national TV was an act of self-preservation and self-respect: “...You have seen every version of me and you stayed.” [50:08]

7. Russell’s Perspective: Support, Resilience, and Sanctuary

[19:40–24:16, 31:27–33:12]

• For Russell, supporting Guerdy through public and private hardship is frustrating but clarifying: “What really matters is what goes on at home.” – Russell [22:18]
• He finds sanctuary and grounding in family, focusing on their shared life rather than public perception.
• The couple maintains a solid partnership by intentionally carving out time for each other.

8. Authenticity, Boundaries & Healing in Relationships

[23:47–30:17]

• The importance of intention and true healing—not just “moving on” or surface-level apologies.
• Guerdy discusses forgiving her parents for past trauma without needing an explicit apology because she understands their sacrifice and intentions.
• Advice for listeners: Healing is about following your gut and deliberating until you’re truly at peace. “If you want to move on, but you’re not good in your soul, that’s called resentment.” – Guerdy [25:05]
• She encourages embracing genuine apology, behavioral change, and honest self-assessment.

9. Enduring Partnership: Guerdy & Russell

[30:23–34:35]

• After over 30 years together, their attraction is multi-layered: energy, loyalty, and mutual respect.
• They keep intimacy and priority alive by separating work from home and making intentional time together.
  • “...when I’m at home, my priority is Gertie and the kids.” – Russell [31:57]

10. Cancer Journey: Survival, Family Impact, and the Invisible Cost

[34:51–44:57]

• Guerdy shares the shock of her diagnosis, multiple escalating treatments, physical and emotional pain, and loss of control.
  • “Cancer... is the roller coaster ride that you do not want to get on, but you can’t get off, man.” – Guerdy [37:29]
• The ordeal affected her children, who went quiet and internalized the family crisis.
• Russell describes his own anxiety and the importance of honesty with their sons.

11. Trauma, Trophies, and Moving Forward

[44:45–47:27]

• Guerdy grapples with the idea that her trauma is now her children’s trauma, highlighting the cyclical, generational impact.
• Beating cancer redefined her approach to difficulties: "I am living, like, Kill Bill moment... If I'm gonna be, I need to be furious." – Guerdy [45:44]
• She insists on embracing presence and bold self-expression: “Some people call me too much. Too extra. And you know what? Thank you. Because at least I’m present.” – Guerdy [47:16]

12. Defining “Trophy Girl”

[47:47–53:12]

• The trophy is not superficial—it’s the achievement of authenticity, health, love, and self-worth: “I win at life because I have this person next to me who is my ride or die.” – Guerdy [50:08]
• Guerdy “Guerdifies” everything she does—her unique energy and vision are her true brand.

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Writing the Memoir:

  “Honestly, writing it was so cathartic in a way, was so healing in many ways, because you have to keep writing and you have to make sure that when you hit that sentence that it's exactly, exactly what you mean. And I'm standing on this book.”
  – Guerdy [00:07]

• On Adaptation:

  “You could belong everywhere, but then you can belong nowhere. And that's where that...that fine line is so interesting.”
  – Guerdy [07:12]

• On Healing Through Self-Worth:

  “Why did Gertie become a party planner to the stars?...because I wanted you to know I am worth it, I am worthy, and I am of the highest value.”
  – Guerdy [12:04]

• On Boundaries:

  “Let me take my power back and fight for my brand. Let me not accept your apology if you did three things, but you want to apologize for one and pretend the two didn't exist. Let me do what I need to do to find my peace.”
  – Guerdy [14:04]

• On Partnership:

  “You have seen every version of me and you stayed.”
  – Guerdy [50:08]

• On Defining “Winning”:

  “I win at life, man, because…I have this person next to me who is my ride or die…my health, my soul. Like, I'm just happy to be. And whoever doesn't get it, off, off. Because it’s your loss. Big mistake. Like Pretty Woman.”
  – Guerdy [50:21]

• On Resilience After Cancer:

  “If I'm gonna be, I need to be furious...I’m a bad—because…I am living, like, Kill Bill moment.”
  – Guerdy [45:44]

Recommended Listening Timestamps

• Origin of “Trophy Girl” and Healing Through Memoir — [00:00–00:59], [47:35–51:25]
• Cultural Reinvention & Finding Belonging — [02:21–08:11]
• Let Me Theory: Self-Empowerment After Betrayal — [13:29–19:39]
• Cancer Journey: Diagnosis, Family, and Survival — [34:51–44:57]
• Defining Success Beyond Status & Brand — [47:47–53:12]
• Marriage, Partnership & Finding Sanctuary at Home — [31:27–34:35]

Episode Tone and Style

• Conversational, raw, and unscripted, blending humor (“Is it the fireman suit?”) with deep vulnerability.
• Empowering but never preachy; Guerdy is honest about struggles and unapologetic about her growth.
• The dialogue between Guerdy and Russell is loving, mutually respectful, and peppered with inside jokes.

Final Takeaway

This episode is a powerful reminder that healing, identity, and strength are forged in struggle, shared in love, and defined on your own terms. Guerdy’s story is vivid proof that “winning” is about authenticity, integrity, and cherishing those who walk beside you—no matter what the world throws your way.

Learn more:

• Guerdy’s memoir From Trauma to Trophies launches Nov. 14 at BravoCon and is available everywhere books are sold and at guerdify.com
• Follow Guerdy: @guerdydesign

“At least I’m present. Make it memorable. Make it count.” – Guerdy [47:16]