Podcast Summary: The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

Episode: Human Sleep Expert: Don't Pee In The Middle Of The Night & Why Night Time Sex Isn't A Good Idea!

Date: February 9, 2026
Guest: Dr. Michael Breus (“The Sleep Doctor”)
Host: Steven Bartlett

Overview

In this wide-ranging and engaging episode, Steven Bartlett sits down with Dr. Michael Breus—a renowned sleep expert, clinical psychologist, and author—to unravel the mysteries of sleep. They cover everything from chronotypes and the science of melatonin, to the best time for sex, debunking sleep myths, handling insomnia, optimizing your sleep environment, why you shouldn't pee in the middle of the night, the dangers of melatonin misuse, and practical steps for better sleep at every age. The discussion is packed with actionable insights, memorable stories, and a fair share of laughs, offering a refreshing, deeply practical, and sometimes surprising roadmap to a better night’s rest.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Mission of Sleep Education

• Dr. Breus’s Approach:
  • Focuses not just on treating sleep disorders, but on helping people understand the habits and behaviors that cause "disordered sleep."
  • Aims to present sleep science in ways that are actionable for everyday people.
  • “When you change someone's sleep, dude, you change their life. Like it is fundamental to who they are.” (03:22)

2. The Most Asked Sleep Questions

• The top things people ask a sleep doctor:
  1. How to fall back asleep after waking in the night.
  2. Which pillow (or bed) is best.
  3. What’s the ideal time for sex? (00:34, 08:35)

3. The Science of Sleep: Sleep Drive & Rhythm

• Sleep Drive: Works like hunger; the longer you’re awake, the more you want to sleep, due to adenosine buildup.
  • Nappuccino Tip: Drink a cooled black coffee, then nap for 25 minutes. The nap clears adenosine; caffeine blocks its reaccumulation. “You will feel much better. That’s sleep drive.” (10:29)
• Sleep Rhythm (Circadian Rhythm): Biological clock (influenced by genetics/chronotype) determines best sleep/wake times.
  • “When your circadian rhythm is high and your drive is high, you sleep. But if either one of them is off, that's when you have a sleep disorder or disordered sleep.” (13:03)

4. Chronotypes: Your Genetic Sleep Code

• Chronotype determines best times to sleep, eat, have sex, work, etc.
• Traditional chronotypes: Lion (early riser), Bear (midday), Wolf (night owl), and Dr. Breus's discovery, the Dolphin (light sleepers with insomnia traits).
  • “Most people don't know that they have a genetic sleep code inside them called their chronotype.” (00:56)
  • Take the test: chronoquiz.com (24:36)
• Chronotype changes with age: All kids start as lions, become bears in childhood, wolves in adolescence, then settle into one as an adult. (25:00)

5. Productivity, Performance & Health: Timing is Everything

• Synchrony effect: People outperform when tasks align to chronotype.
  • “Morning types, the lions, earn higher grades... because exams are scheduled during their peak alertness windows.” (29:15)
  • “Eight hours is a myth... somewhere between seven and nine hours.” (30:48)
• School & work schedules rarely align: “Could you imagine a school system… where we changed the testing so that they got tested when they're at their peak hours, they'd actually do better?" (30:15)

6. Sex, Caffeine, and Alcohol—When Matters

• Best time for sex: Morning! “Your hormone profile… is literally the opposite [at night]: melatonin is high and all those other things are low… In the morning, greater connection and performance.” (15:28)
• Don’t caffeinate for the first 90 minutes after waking. Hydrate first: “Caffeine is a diuretic... hydrate before you caffeinate.” (17:08)
• Alcohol: Avoid using as a sleep aid; disrupts deep sleep and increases Alzheimer’s risk.
  • “If you’re using alcohol as a stress relief tool before bed, it’s messing up your sleep pretty bad.” (35:09)
  • “Have your last drink at least three hours before bed. Hydrate between drinks to help flush it out.” (36:16)

7. Food, Hydration, and Timing

• Don’t eat or drink within three hours of bedtime.
• Sugar before bed delays melatonin and raises heart rate, impairing sleep.
• Banana tea hack: Boil banana (with peel) in water—rich natural source of magnesium, supporting relaxation. (100:13)

8. Sleep Quality & Aging

• Sleep becomes lighter and more fragmented with age. Quality matters more than quantity:
  • “I would rather have somebody who got five hours of really great sleep versus seven hours of really light, crappy sleep every time.” (26:27)
• Caffeine cut-off: 2pm, to avoid impacting sleep latency. (27:01)

9. Parenting, Partners, and Sleep

• Tips for parents:
  • Educate children about winding down.
  • Have clear bedtime/wake routines.
  • “On call” method for night-time interruptions: alternate who gets up (34:13)
• Quality sleep outweighs couple’s expectations about always sharing a bed. “The strength of your relationship has nothing to do with where you sleep.” (66:40)
• Sex life can improve when both partners are rested—even if that means separate beds during the week. (66:40)

10. What Not To Do: Waking Up at Night

• Don't pee unless absolutely needed: “If all you did was when you woke up is lie and get on your back for about 25 seconds and see if you still need to pee. If you don’t, stay in bed and keep your heart rate low.” (45:04)
• Don’t check your phone/clock: triggers stress and artificially wakes the brain. (46:53)
• Breathing method: “4-7-8 breathing” (Developed by Dr. Andrew Weil)—in for 4, hold for 7, out for 8; do 20 cycles. “It’s incredibly relaxing.” (48:09)
• If you can’t fall back asleep, try non-sleep deep rest (Yoga Nidra), but if anxious, leave the bed and read under dim light. (56:02)
• Replace negative thoughts with positive reframing: “You can’t stop your first thought, but you can stop your second thought.” (56:16)

11. Sleep Environment: The Senses Matter

• Sight: Keep room dark; eye masks highly recommended, especially when traveling. (120:01)
• Sound: Quiet is best, but “emotionality attached to sound” can impact you—white noise or TV/podcasts may help if it’s a positive association. (53:27, 51:02)
• Touch: Room and bed-cooling are powerful. Ideal sleep temp: cool room; cooling toppers help hugely (Eight Sleep, Orion). “Temperature is the easiest thing to manipulate to improve sleep.” (109:16)
• Smell: Lavender and ylang-ylang have shown benefits in studies; candles not safe. (139:16)
• Clothing: Sleeping naked is optimal for thermoregulation—but mind the pets! (139:19)

12. Pillows, Position, and Practical Tools

• The right pillow = better sleep.
• Best sleeping position: left side (aids digestion, avoids acid reflux). Stomach sleeping is worst for your back; side is most common. “A pillow is a bed for your head… the goal here is to keep your nose in line with your sternum.” (128:32, 134:03)
• Pillow selection: Support and fit are key—prefer pillows with a “gusset” and/or adjustable fill. (129:10)

13. Gadgets & Supplements

• Trackers: Oura Ring is decent; best results when tracking changes/causation, not obsessing over nightly numbers.
• Sleep aids: Avoid regular sleep medication; supplements only after bloodwork to determine deficiencies.
  • Melatonin:
    • Only useful for jet lag, shift work, and real deficiencies in adults.
    • Dangerous for children and potentially disruptive for those on SSRIs, birth control, or hypertensives.
    • Most melatonin supplements are unreliable; overdosing leads to nightmares and vivid dreams. (84:21–86:52)
• Valerian root and hops: Good anti-anxiety blend at bedtime.
• Magnesium: Most people are deficient. Banana tea is an ideal natural source. Look for magnesium threonate supplements if needed. (99:39–101:14)
• Vitamin D: Supports circadian rhythm; get 15 min of sunlight daily.

14. Sleep Disorders

• Sleep Apnea:

  • Alarmingly common (1 in 7 globally—often undiagnosed), impairs deep sleep, increases Alzheimer’s risk.
  • Test if you snore, gasp, wake up poorly rested, or have major daytime sleepiness. (62:48–64:44)
  • Women are less likely to snore, more likely to report insomnia and headaches; need better screening.
  • CPAPs, oral appliances, and surgery are options. New drugs on the horizon.
  • “If I could change one thing in US healthcare, it would be to test everyone for sleep apnea.” (140:52)

• Insomnia:

  • Four types: difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, waking too early, and unrefreshing sleep.
  • Myth: going to bed earlier after a bad night helps. It doesn’t—keep a consistent wake time.
  • “The number one sleep tip… is to wake up at the same time seven days a week.” (77:14)
  • CBT for insomnia works best; pills only sometimes appropriate. Supplements only after deficiencies tested.

15. The Magic of Dreams

• Dreams serve as "emotional metabolism”: “Dreams are therapy every single night.” (112:08–114:13)
• Nightmare treatment: Write the dream, change the ending, re-read before bed; over several days this can reduce recurrence.
• Dream journals are valuable; use with a therapist if nightmares are severe. (118:20)
• Don't trust ChatGPT or online “dream dictionaries”—dreams' meanings are personal and contextual. (119:36)

16. Morning Routines & Sleep Preparation

• Dr. Breus's routine: Red light therapy, meditation, fresh air and light, hydration, exercise, breakfast late. (106:16)
• Key wakeup tip: Wake consistently, hydrate, get sunlight, deep breathing. (103:55)

17. Relationships, Arguments, and Sex

• Never argue before bed: “Possibly the worst thing you can do, increases heart rate—schedule the tough talks after dinner or in the morning.” (122:56)
• Best time to “fall in love” is aligned with your chronotype:
  • Dolphins (late afternoon-evening), Lions (early morning), Bears (late afternoon), Wolves (11pm). (126:48)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Chronotypes:

  “Most people don’t know they have a genetic sleep code… which decides when your brain releases things like melatonin, cortisol, adrenaline, and dopamine.” – Dr. Breus (00:56)

• On Sleep Quality vs. Quantity:

  “I would rather have somebody who got five hours of really great sleep versus seven hours of really light, crappy sleep.” (26:27)

• On Alcohol:

  “Wine’s about the worst thing you could possibly do for sleep, to be fair… If you’re using alcohol as a stress relief tool at night, it’s messing up your sleep pretty bad.” (35:09)

• On Melatonin for Kids:

  “That is the dumbest idea I have heard in a long time. Because you just taught your child they need a pill to sleep.” (81:09)

• On Not Peeing at Night:

  “Don't go pee. I know… but when you get up, your heart rate goes straight up… what we want to do is keep your heart rate down. So if you don’t really have to go to the bathroom, don’t go.” (45:04)

• On Dream Therapy:

  “Dreams are therapy every single night, because they really are. You’re really moving through a lot of that emotionality.” (114:13)

• On Arguments with Partners:

  “Possibly the worst thing you can possibly do is argue with your partner before bed because it's increasing heart rate… The less emotionality that you have towards the evening, the better. Unless it’s joy or happiness.” (122:56)

• On Universal Good Sleep:

  “Wouldn’t it be cool if everybody got one just for one night and see what happens... What if people actually found peace in the warring nations because they actually got a good night’s sleep?” (141:08)

Timestamps of Key Segments

| Segment | Highlight | Timestamp (MM:SS) | |---------|-----------|-------------------| | Introduction & Common Questions | Chronotypes, Caffeine, Sex Timing | 00:30–01:28 | | The Sleep Drive & Napa-latte Hack | Napping and Caffeine | 09:36–12:13 | | Chronotype Deep Dive | The 4 chronotypes & why they matter | 13:20–25:02 | | Why Not Nighttime Sex? | Hormone timing mismatches | 15:28–16:57 | | Effects of Age & Deficiencies | Why sleep feels worse as we age | 24:59–26:26 | | Parenting & Sleep | On-call parenting routines | 32:07–34:13 | | Alcohol and Sleep | Wine’s impact on deep sleep | 35:09–36:16 | | The Power of Consistent Routines | Best sleep tip: Wake up time | 77:14–80:37 | | Not Peeing at Night | Don’t disrupt heart rate | 45:04–46:23 | | Melatonin: Misuse and Dangers | Supplements & children | 81:01–84:21 | | Pillows & Room Environment | Best side, left-side! | 129:11–133:32 | | Breathing for Sleep | 4-7-8 Technique Explained | 48:09–49:19 | | Sleep Apnea Crisis | 1-in-7 adults affected | 63:34–64:44 | | Dream Therapy & Rewriting Nightmares | Changing bad dreams | 114:41–116:04 | | Best Argument Timing & Sleep | Don’t fight before bed! | 122:56–124:45 |

Final Thoughts & Resources

Dr. Breus blends cutting-edge science with down-to-earth advice, stressing that small changes—especially those matched to your biological rhythm—can transform not just your sleep, but your entire life. From why not to pee at 2am, to how your pillow could be sabotaging your REM, this episode is less about hacks and more about understanding and working with your body’s natural rhythms.

Key Resources Mentioned:

• Chronotype Quiz: chronoquiz.com
• Michael Breus’s YouTube Channel (linked in episode description)
• Timeshifter App (for jet lag management)
• Books: The Power of When and Sleep, Drink, Breathe by Dr. Michael Breus

Pro tip: "Wake up at the same time, seven days a week—your body’s clock will thank you." (77:14)

Closing wish:
“I want everybody to get a great night’s sleep, but I want it to all be on the same night. Can you imagine what would happen the next day?” – Dr. Michael Breus (141:08)

For More

• Dr. Michael Breus’s Website
• Chronotype Quiz
• Books: The Power of When, Sleep, Drink, Breathe
• [Episode on YouTube and major podcast platforms]

This summary captures all key themes, practical techniques, memorable insights, and timestamped highlights—making it easy to put Dr. Breus’s wisdom to work in your own life, one restful night at a time.