Podcast Summary: The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Episode: Most Replayed Moment: Confidence Can Be Taught! Use These Body Language Cues To Your Advantage!
Date: December 12, 2025
Overview
In this episode, Steven Bartlett explores the non-verbal cues and psychological principles that drive confidence, particularly in high-stakes professional environments. Through engaging storytelling and practical examples, Bartlett and his expert guest (Joe Navarro, renowned former FBI agent and body language specialist) break down the mechanics of posture, voice, gestures, and eye contact—revealing how these can be learned and leveraged to project composure and command presence. The discussion includes memorable anecdotes from recruitment, law enforcement, and business, as well as a playful analysis of Steven’s own rapport-building skills.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Power of Posture and Territory
- Posture signals internal state: Confident posture is about more than standing tall; it starts with calm breathing and genuine self-assuredness. (00:17)
- Territory matters: "Not just posture, but territory. The totality of it has a lot of meaning." (B, 00:17)
- Importance of not appearing "needy" or "desperate," but also avoiding indifference.
- Neurological and developmental factors: Some successful business leaders may have atypical non-verbals (e.g., less eye contact if neurodivergent), which can be misunderstood by others. (00:50)
2. Reading People Beyond the Resume
- Behavioral evaluation trumps credentials: Asking candidates to describe problems they've solved reveals genuine experience and emotional investment, not just team participation (04:28).
- "The person who solves the problem goes into the detail and feels the emotion of the person that's telling the story..." (B, 04:28)
- Observational skills are crucial: "How good are you at observing people? ...When you walk into a business, what do you observe? The attitude of the people matters as much as the numbers." (B, 06:01-06:44)
3. Confidence is Learned, Not Innate
- Building confidence gradually: Confidence isn’t innate; it can—and should—be developed one domain at a time.
- "The easiest way to learn confidence is to be confident about one thing. I don't care if it's, you stack papers better than anybody else..." (B, 07:44)
- Knowledge equals confidence: Mastery of subject matter underpins authentic confidence; well-read, well-prepared people project poise even when new. (B, 09:46)
- Military as model: Recruits gain confidence through tangible, incremental achievements. (B, 10:44)
4. Emulating Confident Behaviors
- Observe and replicate: Study the confident people in your life and model their behaviors—from speech patterns to posture. (A, 11:11)
- Voice control: Lower, steady tones project authority. Rising, questioning tones undercut it.
- "My first arrest, I said, 'Stop! This is the FBI.' My voice was, nobody was going to stop. You have to have a command voice...down." (B, 11:35)
- The power of ‘No’: Practicing saying "No" with downward intonation creates perceived decisiveness.
- "No is always said down. No. That sounds like a complete sentence." (B, 12:05)
- Cadence in speech: Structured, deliberate pacing in speech (as modeled by Churchill and MLK) enhances authority and emotional impact. (B & A, 13:38-14:33)
- "When you speak in cadence... people listen. They have time to process what you're saying." (B, 13:38)
- Territory & gestures: Confident people use gestures deliberately to claim space, without being excessive.
- "You don't want to look like a clown, but you want to have the space you’re entitled to." (B, 13:38)
5. Hand Gestures as Emotional Amplifiers
- Open hands = openness and care: Spreading fingers communicates confidence and authenticity. Closed hands signal fear or withdrawal. (B, 16:20)
- "When we fear, our fingers come together... Dogs tuck their ears in. Humans tuck their... the hands." (B, 16:20)
- Hands as evolutionary tools for communication: They're both weapons and signals for our emotions—a dual-purpose evolved trait. (B, 17:22)
6. Eye Contact: Nuance and Control
- Balanced, intentional eye contact: Maintain focus on the face, not intimidatory or intrusive.
- "You want to have good eye contact... but you also don't want to intimidate unless you want to intimidate." (B, 17:55)
- Eyes to communicate opinions and intentions: Partners and negotiators both use fleeting eye movements to send subtle messages. (B, 18:18-19:14)
7. Rapport-Building and First Impressions
- Speed of action signals social value: The faster you move to greet or engage someone, the more you signal their importance to you.
- "How much people matter to us is determined by how fast we act. The fact that you immediately went from there to here... demonstrates that you care." (B, 20:34)
- Micro-behaviors (e.g., handshake, standing with someone) shape negotiations: E.g., when both parties sit together, it frames equality.
- Analyzing Steven’s arrival: Arms akimbo = command; immediate handshake = pro-social. The only tweak: remain standing until both are seated to avoid status imbalance. (21:57-22:27)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On confidence being taught:
"You can teach confidence. The easiest way is to be confident about one thing... and then you can be confident about two things." (B, 07:44) - On hiring for skills vs emotional intelligence:
"They hired for this skill. But is that really what you need, when you actually need somebody that is a great observer?" (B, 06:37) - On the right way to say 'No':
"No is always said down. No. That sounds like a complete sentence." (B, 12:05) - Cadence example (MLK/Churchill):
"Can you imagine if he stood up there, 'I have one dream that one day might...' It's like, who would listen to that? But he was a preacher, and he knew how to command an audience." (B, 14:33) - On hands as emotional display:
"The more confident we are, the further our fingers are. I care..." (B, 17:18) - On rapport through speed:
"How much people matter to us is determined by how fast we act." (B, 20:34) - Negotiation tip:
"Who controls time, controls." (B, 15:51) - On workplace observation:
"...the minute I walk in, I go, 'Oh jeez, you've got management problems here.'" (B, 06:44)
Important Segment Timestamps
- 00:17 – Importance of posture and territory
- 02:28 – Interview evaluation: posture signals confidence/self-worth
- 03:16 – Problem-solving & true competence in interviews
- 06:01 – Observational skills in leadership/hiring
- 07:18 – Nature vs nurture of confidence
- 09:46 – Confidence through competence and knowledge
- 11:35 – Voice as a marker of confidence; learning the command voice
- 12:05-12:30 – Practicing saying “No” with authority
- 13:38-14:33 – Cadence in speech; MLK and Churchill examples
- 16:20-17:22 – Hand gestures; evolutionary origins
- 17:55 – Eye contact: authentic but regulated
- 19:29 – Rapport-building: analyzing Steven’s handshake and presence
- 21:57-22:27 – Status cues when sitting/standing in meetings
Conclusion
This episode compellingly demonstrates that confidence, rapport, and authority are not innate gifts but learnable skills, rooted in self-awareness, observation, and practiced non-verbal behaviors. From the handshake to the way you utter a simple "No," every movement and utterance can be fine-tuned to project strength and reliability. Steven’s engaging and accessible style, matched with his guest’s expertise, deliver actionable insights for anyone looking to lead, persuade, or simply move through the world with more presence.
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