Podcast Summary: "Orgasm Queen: Do This For 20 Minutes Before Having Sex & Have Sex With Them Like When You First Met! I Never Orgasmed Until He Tried This!"
Release Date: December 5, 2024
Title: The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Host: Steven Bartlett (DOAC)
Guest: Dr. Susan Bratton, World-Renowned Sex Specialist and Bestselling Author
1. Introduction to Dr. Susan Bratton
The episode features Dr. Susan Bratton, a globally recognized sex specialist and bestselling author with over 30 books and programs. Dr. Bratton has dedicated over two decades to empowering millions to master pleasuring techniques, enhance bedroom communication, and unlock their true sexual potential.
Notable Quote:
[00:00] Dr. Bratton: "Nobody even knows there's over 20 kinds of orgasms that you can have... that's the queen of orgasms."
2. Dr. Bratton’s Personal Journey and Motivation
Dr. Bratton shares her personal story of overcoming challenges in her sexual life. Despite a successful marriage and career in Silicon Valley, she struggled to achieve orgasms through intercourse, leading her to explore and eventually specialize in sexual education and therapy.
Notable Quote:
[00:45] Dr. Bratton: "We had a beautiful daughter, gorgeous home, but I never had an orgasm from intercourse. And this is not unique. So many of us have had problems with sex..."
3. Understanding Sexual Challenges
Dr. Bratton delves into common sexual issues, emphasizing that problems in the bedroom often stem from a lack of knowledge and communication. She highlights the importance of understanding different types of orgasms and the physiological differences between male and female arousal systems.
Notable Quotes:
[02:09] Dr. Bratton: "What does this show? There's over 20 kinds of orgasms... especially men, they don't even think there's one or two."
[06:27] Dr. Bratton: "I would say quality generally more so than quantity. Quality comes before quantity."
4. Techniques to Improve Sexual Life
Dr. Bratton outlines various techniques to enhance sexual experiences, focusing on communication, extended foreplay, and the use of sexual tools. She emphasizes the significance of yoni massages, mindful lovemaking, and introducing novelty to keep the sexual connection vibrant.
Notable Quotes:
[12:46] Dr. Bratton: "The first thing that I did was I worked with a sexual trauma therapist... writing down every single sexual trauma... it really helped me move through it."
[44:33] Dr. Bratton: "Sex is a mindfulness practice. You just have to keep bringing yourself back to connection to your heart."
5. Polyamory and Relationship Dynamics
The conversation explores non-monogamous relationships and how Dr. Bratton and her husband successfully implemented open relationships. She discusses the importance of honesty, safety, and continuous learning to maintain a healthy sexual and emotional connection.
Notable Quotes:
[29:22] Dr. Bratton: "We opened our relationship when we got really good in bed together... It was never without its challenges."
[30:22] Dr. Bratton: "Relationship anarchy is one of the branches on the tree of non-monogamy."
6. Listener Questions and Expert Advice
Dr. Bratton addresses several listener questions, providing practical advice on restoring intimacy, overcoming body image issues, managing libido, and enhancing sexual techniques. She introduces concepts like the "sexual soulmate pact," erotic play dates, and the use of specialized sex toys to rejuvenate sexual relationships.
Notable Questions & Responses:
-
Eliza’s Struggle with Intimacy:
[36:49] Eliza: "How can I find that intimacy again with someone that has just been so disconnected?"
[37:17] Dr. Bratton: "Start with holding each other, generate oxytocin, and introduce small, non-pressured offers of affection." -
Ethan’s Premature Ejaculation:
[61:59] Ethan: "I only last like two or three minutes in bed..."
[62:37] Dr. Bratton: "Practice the 'me breath' technique—squeeze the PC muscle, use a cool draw breath, and incorporate pelvic rocks to gain control over ejaculation."
Notable Techniques Discussed:
- Yoni Massages: Enhancing blood flow and pleasure for women.
- Erotic Play Dates: Introducing variety and fun into sexual routines.
- Sex Life Bucket List: A list of 48 techniques to explore and rejuvenate sexual experiences.
Notable Quote:
[52:18] Dr. Bratton: "Sex is everything. It's a hot makeout... it's words of appreciation... it's playing with toys... it's expressing love through physical connection."
7. Overcoming Body Image Issues
Dr. Bratton emphasizes the impact of societal standards and hormonal influences on body image and libido. She advocates for self-love, body positivity, and understanding the physiological aspects of desire to overcome insecurities.
Notable Quotes:
[39:41] Dr. Bratton: "Women have body image issues that we fight against... Your motherhood and aging don't define your sexual potential."
[42:06] Dr. Bratton: "It's almost always the woman saying she doesn't think she looks good. And the majority of partners say she looks great."
8. The Role of Masturbation and Pornography
The discussion touches on the effects of pornography and the benefits of masturbation. Dr. Bratton differentiates between healthy sexual exploration and the potential harms of pornography addiction, advocating for mindful and consensual sexual practices.
Notable Quotes:
[97:54] Dr. Bratton: "Most pornography is just friction. I like to transform friction into connection."
[98:11] Dr. Bratton: "Masturbation is fantastic. It helps activate all of the tissue and allows for pleasure and fantasy."
9. Conclusion and Key Takeaways
The episode concludes with key insights on maintaining a fulfilling sexual relationship. Dr. Bratton and Steven Bartlett reiterate the importance of communication, continuous learning, introducing novelty, and practicing mindfulness in lovemaking to sustain desire and intimacy over time.
Notable Quote:
[108:41] Dr. Bratton: "Play full fucking out. Never compromise all of your gifts and your talents. Never play small."
[109:12] Stephen Bartlett: "Removing pressure and introducing novelty are crucial for sustaining desire and intimacy."
Key Takeaways:
- Quality Over Quantity: Focus on meaningful, high-quality sexual interactions rather than frequency.
- Communication is Crucial: Open and honest conversations about desires and challenges can rejuvenate sexual relationships.
- Introduce Novelty: Incorporate new techniques, toys, and experiences to keep the sexual connection vibrant.
- Mindfulness in Lovemaking: Approach sex as a mindfulness practice to enhance connection and pleasure.
- Overcoming Body Image Issues: Embrace self-love and body positivity to improve libido and sexual satisfaction.
- Seek Professional Help: Don’t hesitate to consult sex therapists or join workshops to acquire new skills and overcome sexual challenges.
Dr. Susan Bratton’s expert insights provide actionable strategies for individuals and couples looking to enhance their sexual lives, emphasizing the blend of emotional connection, physical techniques, and continuous learning.