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I feel like enough time has gone by so I can finally talk about this. Not only to just give me some peace of mind, but to also tell others that they should be able to defend themselves in the workplace when all other options are exhausted. I'll be changing the names of this story for anonymity. This was back in 2024, the Saturday before Thanksgiving. I was on the sales floor of a convenience store and pharmacy and this was crunch time. All of us were really under the stress of getting all the holiday merchandise unpacked. It was me and two other CSAs named Fazer and Spike, and my supervisor, who I'll call Big C. This was my second year at my job and Big C had already been here for a year and a half. Him and I would mostly butt heads, but in other days he was actually great to work with. I'll spare the details on that, but that day was one of the worst days to deal with them. He showed up and he seemed a little out of it and agitated more than usual. While I was assembling an in store pickup order, Big C started shouting at me and Spike, hey, I need both of you over here. Help me empty the baler right now. I turned to him and politely replied, yeah man, you'll have to wait a couple minutes. I'm finishing up this pickup order. Hey man, no, I don't have no time or energy to wait on you, so either come over here and help me or I'll call Fazer back here and you can go work the register all night long. Big C knew that I least favored working the register, but I don't think he knew, due to a previous work injury that I can't stand in place for too long. Or he just did unbelieve me. This is where I got a little agitated with him and retorted, look, just because you can't wait two minutes doesn't mean you have to act like a big baby. The boss said, pickup orders can't be interrupted or go late. And you know this now. Quit trying to derail me. Ham and I argued some more to where he actually dialed up the assistant manager right in front of me and tried to make me out to be the bad guy. At that point, I just had enough and I told him I was clocking out. But as I was gathering my things, the assistant manager called me up and asked me what was going on. I told him my exact side of what was going on and how Big C was acting and that it was really making me uncomfortable and that I didn't feel safe working there or around him, and that I was just about to leave. I think he caught onto the fact that I seemed more bothered with it than Big C. Hey player, don't let anyone mess with your money. You two should just talk things out. I'm gonna call him up real quick. Don't clock out, man. Everything will be okay, the assistant manager said. I was in the break room, still thinking about whether I should leave or listen to his words, when right then, Big C walked in. I guess the assistant manager must have spoken some sense into him because he appeared much calmer now. Big C walked in and reached his hand out for a handshake. Hey Zarek, I'm sorry. I've just had a really rough week, man. I didn't mean to be aggressive like that. He told me. I then replied back with me too, man. I was gonna help you. I just needed to finish up doing what I was doing first. Let's just get back to what we were doing, dude, it's cool. We shook hands and we went back to what we were doing and I completed my task. No further incidents happened between him and I for the rest of the night. It was around 5:30 and Fazer needed to go on his lunch break, so I needed to watch the register. At the time, Big C began to start counting the drawers. There are three registers at the front of the store and Big C counted the first one and brought it back the minute he places the first drawer back. A tall, lanky, sweaty man in his 20s dressed like a 1950s nerd runs into the store doing this weird galloping run around the perimeter of the store and grunting heavily. Me, Spike and Big C just stare at him with confusion as we watch him run to the back of the store, past the pharmacy, then by the beauty counter and towards the door. What's this man doing? Big C asked with pure perplexion. I finally broke the awkward silence and asked, hey buddy, everything okay? Stanley's squarepants finally reached the automatic doors and replied out of breath, yeah, I didn't find what I wanted. Then he left the building. Spike had started chuckling and Big C just started shaking his head saying he was in here doing this the other night, telling me we needed to stick together. Right as he was finishing that sentiment, I left to go face the aisles and I heard the automatic doors open and then fast approaching footsteps. Yo, you're gonna respect me. A cacophony of feet rapidly hitting the floor and things getting knocked over was heard all over the store. I froze for like three seconds as I turned around and peeked and saw what was going outside the aisle. Big C was dodging the tall psycho jumping behind the register and over furniture and displays to avoid being punched and smacked at. Big c is about 5, 9 and 150 pounds at most and this guy was about 6 foot 5. Big C grabbed some holiday cookie tins and started throwing them at the guy like they were shuriken. That's when I realized that I had to do something and I made my move. I unfolded my pocket knife and held it forward and charged at the monolithic moron where there was enough of a clear path for me to do so. I ran at him with the knife as he doubled back through the doors, but this guy was much faster than I thought because when I made it to the doors he was nowhere to be seen. You little bastard, if you come back here again, I'll kill you. I yelled into the dark parking lot. I stood there trying to look on to see any sign of movement because I was beyond enraged. How dare some random nobody violate the safety of our workplace. What brought me out of my anger though was one of the ladies from the pharmacy who ran to the front because everyone in the pharmacy heard everything. She started demanding to know what happened and why I had a knife in my hand. Big C and I told her everything and she was just as shocked and bewildered because she had seen the same man run past the pharmacy. Spike was already on the phone with the police and they took their sweet time to get there. The police who spoke with us kept trying to ask if it was a robbery attempt since it happened during the Dror account, but we insisted that it was just a random act of violence as we did absolutely nothing to provoke this npc. I suggested that it was a racially motivated attack since Big C was the only person of color on shift at the time and that the assailant singled him out when he could have chosen to attack me or Spike. But the officer just told us to call back if the person returns, but that they will look for him with the description given. Shortly after the police left, Faser returned and I returned to the floor to work on boxes, and all of us were on high alert. I couldn't even work at my normal pace because I was livid. I just kept thinking, what if he came back? I actually remember then that I had my pepper spray in my pants pocket and then moved it into my jacket. Almost an hour to the initial conflict. I was in the back of the store unpacking boxes and I heard a commotion by the manager's office. Dude, why did you snitch on me? He was back. I guess Fazer didn't have time to stop him or warn us that he had made his way back to the manager's office. Big C and the nerdy Sasquatch were arguing by the office and I headed over there with pepper spray in my hand. Bro, you need to go. Big C demanded, to no avail. I'm just here for my medicine to heal my ulcer and you called the cops on me. I rounded the corner with my angriest face and voice ready, mace in hand. Hey man, you need to get the hell out of the store right now. What's up, man? You wanna go? You need to get your tall ass outta here or I'm gonna pepper spray you. He kept saying incoherent threats to Big C and I while walking away towards the center aisles near the holiday displays. There was one centerpiece that had small fake pine trees with tin pots. And that's when I began to worry he was going to pick up one to use as a weapon. So I raised my arm with the spray. Get moving to the door now. I won't tell you again, bro. I'll mess you up right now. I used the pepper spray. I'll never forget the sound the pepper spray made as it hit right above his glasses, onto his forehead, nose, and the back of his neck as he whipped around trying to shield himself from it. Why are you pepper spraying me? Because you're a loser. I shouted back with conviction. I stepped back and dialed 911 while I watched him stumble to the front of the store, coughing and screaming. And just like magic, I watched as the police tackled him to the floor and cuffed him. At this point, everyone was just watching at the scene as I walked up and pointed and laughed at the guy and then flipped him off while the police were holding him down. That's what happens when you screw around and find out. He tried to yell back but his face was full of floor. I forgot that my phone was still with 911 so I answered and said hey, everything's fine here, but I just wanted to thank you for the lightning fast response time. Bye. I wrote my statement and the police arrested him on multiple charges and took him to jail. And that's when we learned what was going on. The guy was really struggling with mental health issues and he got into an altercation with his mother so she kicked him out. He went running around town causing some disturbances nearby, other properties a town over. And by a town over I mean across a few streets. And as a result the police were looking for him. Our store is at that town's border, hence why another police department deals with her calls. After the police left, Big C approached me and thanked me for stepping in and saving him. And should the higher ups have a problem with how I handled the situation, he would stand up for me. I thanked him and I said at the end of the workday that all of us deserve to go home safely. For the rest of the time, me and Big C work together without any problems and we work together better than ever. Unfortunately, he quit two weeks later for unrelated reasons, but he still comes by to check on us. I got a warning from my boss to never use mace again on the job, but she was really glad that I saved Big circumstances. I tell this because I feel employees should have the right to defend themselves from crazy people should there be no chances of reasoning with the aggressor. And sometimes I think about this incident from time to time and I get shaky when I stay at the register for way too long, not even because of my knee. But I'm ready to send back anyone who drives me right back out that door the same way they came to Big C. I'm glad we finally got to stop feuding on our own job and team up against a common threat. And to the random NPC who had started a fight in the store. I really, really hope you get the help you need and that I never see you run through that door on some crazy stuff. Again, I want to thank you for uniting me and my supervisor against you. What you did was crazy. The story isn't my own, but my father's who used to be a bus driver a long time ago. It happened in the mid-80s and cell phones didn't really exist back then. It was one of his runs as a bus driver. He had a woman that was trying to get away from her abusive husband. It was late in the fall, and he had a woman that got on the bus, and she was wearing a really big heavy coat and a long scarf. My father thought she was overdressed for the weather, but didn't really pay much attention. When she handed a ticket showing that she was going to North Bay, then had a transfer ticket to Ottawa, then to Mont. My father noticed that she was full of bruises, and he could tell that she looked extremely nervous. As he was loading up baggage and parcels under the bus, he heard some commotion and screaming. A woman then told my dad that there was fighting inside the bus, so he ran up to see what was going on. There was a large man who had that woman by the arm and was now dragging her with him. My father immediately blocked the exit and told the man to let her go and to get off. The man only complied when two other male passengers got up to intervene. My dad then closed the door and locked it and instructed one of the men who helped him to keep the door closed. No one was to come on or off until he finished loading the undercarriage. As the bus rolled out of the station, he noticed that a car was following and had tailed him all the way to the next town. He let on a few more passengers, and he asked the passengers to stay inside and did not let anyone in or out while he ran inside the gas station. He had made a phone call, then came out with a large garbage bag with him. The staff inside the gas station had handed him another large coat, hat, and scarf from the lost and found. My father was informed that the man was walking around the bus, staring at every window and hung around the door until he came out. One of the passengers told my dad, as soon as he saw you walking out, he bolted back to his car. It was roughly another two or three hours to the next pit stop, and that car had tailgated my father the entire way. The woman was just crouched in the back and pretty much cried the entire way when they pulled him to the next town. To my father's relief, there were a couple of police officers in the station and they knew him well. He asked everyone to stay on the bus for a little bit longer while he went to talk to the officers. A short while later, he let everyone off the bus and invited the woman to have a meal with him and his police friends as well. Her husband came into the restaurant and sat nearby and left. Shortly after when he realized she was sitting at a table with a bus driver and two police officers. They wanted her to press charges against him, but she refused. She just wanted to get away from him. As the passengers got back on the bus, one officer stayed by the door and the other walked up to the man's car and talked to him. So the man apparently denied that he was following his exact and just happened to be traveling at the same speed and stopping at the same places as the bus. Just a coincidence. And that if the bus was not there, he would have stopped at the same place. Regardless, the man kept following them all the way to North Bay. When he got there, he waited and watched all of the passengers get off the bus, but didn't see his wife. He then approached my father and asked where she was. My dad just laughed and informed him that she never even got on the bus. After they left the Cochrane station, the man screamed and didn't believe it and just ran on the bus. So where she was sitting at on the bus originally, she had left her coat and scarf as well as a simple note. What did the note say? You may wonder. Screw you and rot in hell. My father just laughed and informed him that she had got on another bus and is currently on her way westbound to Winnipeg. That all of this happened when the officer was distracting him. The husband started to cuss out loud, stating that she was his wife and that my dad had no right to interfere and that he was going to make her come back home whether she wanted to or not. He just ran for his vehicle and screeched his tires as he left the parking lot. What the man didn't know, that bag that I mentioned earlier with the coat and hat was for that woman. She swapped it out and stayed at the last station, hiding in the staff room. Someone then gave her a ride to North Bay with his personal car. From there, she got on the bus to go eastbound to Montreal. Meanwhile, we're not even sure if it's the same guy, but according to the officer that helped my father and the woman, there was a man in the Greyhound bus station in Thunder Bay, Ontario, which is 14 hours away west of North Bay, that had caused a scene looking for his wife. The other story is when my father had a bus run from Sudbury to Timmins, Ontario. There was a passenger sitting in the front that came from southern Ontario. They were just talking and the man just mentioned that he had never seen a moose in his life and he was hoping he would see one not even five minutes later. A massive bull moose came up on the highway. My dad wanted to impress the man and slowly creeped with the bus to get a closer look. Well, he got a little too close. The bull moose turned his back to him and it started to kick. Each time his hooves would come a few inches from the windshield directly in front of his face. Every time he would try to shift the vehicle in reverse, the hooves would come up again and my dad would cover his face as he thought the shards of glass would fly in his face. Well, after four or five kicks, the moose just bolted and ran off in the forest. Yeah, my dad has definitely had some really interesting experiences as a bus driver. I am and have been a paramedic for about 10 years. My entire career has been spent in emergency medicine responding to 911 calls and providing advanced life support for life threatening illnesses and injuries. The calls we respond to range from inappropriate abuse of an ambulance to minutes away from death and oftentimes it's already too late this particular story is going to be dark. I apologize in advance. If there are people that hear this story and are affected by the nature of it, it is going to be graphic. I'm not going to gloss over any details because the imagery is important. As awful as the story is, I want to make something good come from it. I want to use the story to preach a little bit and I hope it finds someone somewhere and helps them. As stated above, this content may not be suitable for everyone, but again, I believe it to be important. It's going to be a long one, so sit in, get comfortable, get a blanket or something warm to wrap yourself in. This is the only and one story that I really have a hard time sharing and you'll find out why. I'd been working for a couple of years as a paramedic after I graduated from school. The place I worked primarily was in the city, but our service area was the entire county which is very rural. When you're in school you go on ride alongs. You practice your skills with perceptors on patients very similar to residency or internship. Your exposure to the job is what you get while on those ride alongs. Sometimes you get seriously injured patients and it's terrifying because you sometimes don't always know what to do. You're still learning but you have your preceptor at your back to protect you from any mess ups and guide you. Sometimes though, you just don't get lucky enough to experience some of those horrible things. To some that may seem like a good thing. But it's important to Experience these as it really prepares you for a time when you're all alone. There's a couple of terms we use called white cloud and black cloud. White cloud refers to a person, either student or professional, who never gets the exciting serious calls. The calls always seem to come when you're getting off shift or you left the area of where the call came in and now another ambulance takes it. And this white cloud can follow this person for any length of time. Black cloud is the opposite. When I was in school, I was a white cloud. I got a few cardiac arrests, bad accidents, things like that, but nothing that ever really stood out as unique. So a couple of years into my career, this white cloud is still kind of hanging over me. That's not to say that I hadn't had bad calls before that. I mean, I have, but it's not the same. The day this story takes place is Christmas Eve. I worked from 7am Christmas Eve to 7am Christmas Day. From what I remember, the day was pretty slow. Most people were with their families, not going outside, getting into accidents or causing mischief. I was working with the charge medic at the time and a brand new EMT who was going through his FTO with us, which is field orientation process for those curious. A few of my co workers had made a Christmas dinner that day, so we all had hot food to enjoy while we had to work and be away from our families. At our station we had two ambulances there with two crews, myself, my partner and our FTO and the other crew. When night comes, if a call comes into our station, the two crews just rotate calls so that we get to sleep a little bit more. It was around 11pm and I was sitting in the recliner just watching TV. A call came into our station that required us to respond out to the county. One of the guys on the crew who was a good friend of mine, was asleep in the recliner next to me, so I took the call. The call was initially for a woman who had fallen and hit her head but was conscious in breathing. Due to the nature of the injury, we responded emergent. It was probably about a 15 minute drive to get to the person's house. As we're getting close, dispatch informs us now the PT is not conscious but breathing. As we approach the residents driving down the street where the little development is, there's flashing lights everywhere. Sheriff's deputies, police, fire department, they were all there with some even blocking the entrance to the street for just a simple head injury. We thought that was pretty weird and it set a weird Vibe for the call. One of the deputies saw us coming and he moved his car, allowing us through. Once we got through though, this part of the street ended in a cul de sac with houses all around it. People were standing on their front porches around looking at what was going on. We arrived at the address. There's a vehicle parked in the driveway, still running with officers all around it. The driver's side door was open and there was an officer standing there, looking like he was talking to someone sitting in the driver's seat. I walked up first with my partner and our EMT FTO behind me. As I approach the rear of the vehicle, I see that there's definitely someone sitting inside of it. There's also a man, middle aged in plain clothes standing in front of the vehicles, his lower half lit up by the headlights. He has his hands in his pockets and he's looking rather intently at the person in the vehicle. I walk up to the officer and get a report from him. While the officer is telling me what's going on, I look at the person in the driver's seat. The person sitting in the driver's seat was a middle aged woman, maybe 40s to 50s, sitting back with her head against the headrest, her arms hanging down by her side. I can visibly see her breathing and hear her moaning, but she's not talking. Her eyes are closed. There's a bit of blood running down from her head, past her cheeks and then down to her chin. There is also a small stream of blood coming from her nose. The officer tells me that she was inside with the family when she came outside to get something from the car. The officer said that the woman's husband and gesture to the man standing in front of the car came out to check on her because she was out here for a while. When the husband saw his wife bleeding, he figured that she must have fallen or hit her head on something, so he called 911. The officer tells me the woman has not been responding to him. I attempt to speak to the woman myself. She doesn't answer me but continues to moan. I perform a sternum rub to cause painful stimuli and just hope to get some sort of reaction. No reaction. I then ask the husband if she's been drinking tonight or if she abuses any drugs that he knows of. He says that she's had a few glasses of wine, but no drug use. Now at this point I'm thinking she has a head injury and potentially a brain bleed because she's not responding appropriately. I stand where the officer was standing in the driver's side door. As I'm performing my assessment, I can't see where the blood is coming from, so I figure she has a laceration or something in her hair that isn't visible. It's at this time that the officer comes up to me. He says, we also found this in the driver side door compartment. He produces a revolver. I look at the officer and look at the revolver. He looks at me and holds it out. I grab the revolver and flip out the cylinder and at the same time I'm just thinking to myself, oh shit. In the cylinder is one brass casing with the primer indented, meaning that a round has been fired. With this new information, and based on the bleeding, I assumed the PT had put the gun to her temple or something. The fact that she's still breathing and making noises leads me to assume that she missed or the bullet just miraculously bounced off if she held it at a weird angle. Due to the potential for significant head trauma, I decide that we need to place a cervical collar on the woman in case of a spinal injury as well. I ask one of the firefighters to grab a collar out of our ambulance. I open the back door of the vehicle and get in behind the woman so I can hold her head stable while the fireman places the collar on. It's only when I do this that I see what's really going on. As I slide in behind the pt, I can see the back of her head, something that I'll never be able to unsee. Looking at the back of her head, I see a grapefruit sized hole. With my flashlight, I look at the hole and it's almost empty except for a piece of a large skull that's just floating on top of a blood and brain soup. I look up and on the headliner in the vehicle is a 2 foot in diameter halo of blood and brain painted above her with tiny pieces of skull stuck into the fabric. I look back at the hole. It's a chilly night, so I can see heat vapors coming out of the hole, similar to how you would be able to see your breath on a cold day. I look out the vehicle at my partner and I say, we need to go now. Either the look on my face or a sense caused him to peek inside the vehicle and see what I was seeing. His eyes grew wide and all he said was, holy crap. Our emt, FDO quickly went to the ambulance and grabbed the stretcher and backboard. Up until this point we were really taking our time carefully getting her out of the vehicle, but now carefully and slowly turned into Just get her out of the vehicle. Remt also grabbed me a few large trauma dressings and gauze wrap. I placed the trauma dressing over the hole and I wrapped the ever living crap out of it around her head so that when we moved her onto the stretcher, nothing would spill out. With the help of the fire department and the police, we moved the woman under the backboard and put her under the stretcher. The whole time the husband has been standing at the front of the vehicle watching, not understanding what's happened. As we get the woman on the stretcher, he comes over and I can see that he now has tears on his face. He bends down, kisses her on the cheek and then says, I love you, sweetheart. We quickly got the woman in the ambulance. Due to the woman's injury, her cerebrum, largest part of the brain, is almost completely gone, meaning she has no motor function, no muscle tone and no cognitive abilities. Her brainstem, however, is still intact. The bullet missed it. The brainstem controls the body's autonomic functions like respiratory rate, heart rate and blood pressure. Due to this, when we moved the woman to the stretcher, her tongue fell against the back of her oral airway, causing a blockage. I knew immediately this was going to happen, so I had my partner set up the intubation supplies for me. In the ambulance, I played the laryngoscope into the patient's mouth to move her jaw and tongue forward, opening her airway. It's a bladed device used in intubation. I. I see the hole on the roof of the woman's mouth. I slide the endotracheal tube through the woman's vocal cords into her trachea. This gives us a secured airway so we can ventilate the patient. My partner uses an intraosseous needle to obtain vascular excess. It basically does the same thing as an iv, but it goes into the bone and the medication and fluids are absorbed by the bone marrow. I place the PT on the cardiac monitor, check her blood pressure and oxygen. At the time, I thought it was the strangest thing. Her blood pressure was actually good, her heart rate was normal, her oxygen was good, and her cardiac rhythm was totally normal. We start transporting immersion to the hospital and I gave them a heads up, activating the trauma team. After the call, we went back to the station to restock the ambulance and clean up. That's when I saw all the bits of bone and blood on my pants and shirt. Luckily, the charge medic let me go home and Take a shower and put on a new pair of clothes. After I changed, I went back to work and the rest of the shift was uneventful. I learned that the next morning, around 9am the family had decided to remove life support and that the woman passed away. For many years after that call, I didn't notice a change. I kept doing what I do best and I never really thought I had been affected by it until I realized I was. A couple of years ago. I had a bad relationship that made me start thinking about myself and also how I am. It was something that was always there, but I never really thought anything about it. I just thought it was my personality and who I developed into as an adult. I realized how angry I always was. I was not a mean person, but very simple, stupid things would just set me off. And I had a bad temper. I was very cynical of the world and what I thought was a stomach problem. I had started thinking, maybe it's anxiety. I decided that I wanted to figure out what caused me to be this way. I wanted to figure out why I think the way I do, why I act the way I do. So I decided to see a psychologist. After many months of visits, my psychologist came up with the PTSD diagnosis. I really hated it at the time. I hated being categorized as someone with ptsd. It didn't make any sense. I can handle anything. Nothing bothers me. But during those visits, as we conversed, the one thing that kept coming up was that call. I didn't realize how much it actually affected me. How much of a wall I built to shut everyone out and not see who I really am and to protect myself. The more I thought about it, the more I came to realize that it probably makes sense. The reason I tell the story the way I do with the graphic detail is because I think everyone needs to understand it in its entirety. How mental health not only affects a single person, but everyone around them. Like I said, I'm gonna get a little preachy here, so if you don't want to hear this, I understand, but I do urge you to. This is something that we talk about at work quite a lot and there are several co workers on the ambulance. Even now that I talk with about this stuff. One of the, if not number one cause of death in first responders is suicide. If you're someone who's ever thought about or attempted suicide in the past, you need to know that taking your life doesn't only affect you. You may think it'll be better this way, but I assure you it will Not. People often say how selfish suicide is and it's true. Because once you're gone, you have no idea the amount of lives have been impacted by you. If you don't think this is true or that no one will care, maybe you need to go back and re listen to the story. Because I can guarantee you that people care. I care. So find someone, anyone to just talk to, be honest. Let them know how you're feeling. I know it's hard. It was for me. But it does get better. You just have to try. So if anyone you know or does struggle with mental health issues, please reach out. Just be an ear. You don't have to try and solve the problem, but just listen. If you listen, you just may hear something that can help save someone's life. And if you struggle with mental health issues and think that there's no one for you to talk to, you're wrong. It can be unprofessional. It can be the person you consider a close friend or relative. If you feel like none of these options work for you or that you're considering doing something dangerous, go to your local ER. Call 911, because that's what we're all here for. Police, fire department, EMS and ER staff. People may not think of these people to call when you're having a mental emergency, but I can tell you first hand that we deal with this a lot more than you think. And we're also trained in how to deal with these people and situations. All of us. Even if you don't know what to say, if you even just make the call, it'll get things started. The number for the national suicide hotline is 1-800-273-8255. You can call from anywhere, anytime they're available. For anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress, there is always someone to talk to. Please, if you feel like you want to end your life, I beg you, talk to someone.