Loading summary
Transcript15 lines
- [00:00]
Advertiser
You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed. Stop struggling to get your job posts seen on other job sites with Indeed sponsored jobs. Your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates so you can reach the people you want faster. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs posted directly on indeed have 45% more applications than non sponsored jobs. Don't wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed and listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to get your jobs more visibility@ Indeed.com kidsandfamily just go to Indeed.com kidsandfamily right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need. Geico's motorcycle expertise means I'm covered by.
- [00:57]
Narrator 1
People who know bikes like I do.
- [00:59]
Narrator 2
I'm happy as a clam Disclaimer no conclus. Scientific research has shown clams can experience happiness.
- [01:04]
Advertiser
I just meant that I feel really.
- [01:05]
Narrator 1
Good about my coverage.
- [01:06]
Narrator 2
I mean, even if you took the clam out for the best day ever, visiting the zoo, taking a scenic ride, knowing you're insured by specialists, and sharing a strawberry ice cream cone together, the clam would not feel happy and your strawberry cone would taste sort of clammy. Geico's motorcycle specialists who know bikes like you do, assume no liability for clammy ice cream cones. Geico expertise for your motorcycle.
- [01:29]
Narrator 1
This is gonna be long. So where to start? I met him when I was 15 and he was 17. Looking back, the signs were all there. It had started out with small things, us just roughhousing like buddies. We're both guys by the way. But it would escalate to him taking me back behind the shed where my friends couldn't see and then holding me against the wall, fake hitting me. Like pretending to hurt me while laughing the whole time. But he actually did hurt me. I would have bruises for weeks. One time he literally shoved my face in stinging nettles, but my naive 15 year old self thought it was all in good fun. If only I knew then what I know now. We had started dating at the end of my sophomore year and over the summer things progressed. He used to beg me to give him massages and whenever I would refuse, he would pin me down and tickle me until I relented and said Y. And whenever I stopped before he was ready, he'd go back to tickling me. Sometimes he would just randomly pin me down and tickle Me and I would beg him to stop, but the only way to get him to stop was to literally fight him off of me. This happened almost every single time we hung out and I grew to dread it. I don't know why I kept going back. Honestly, I guess I was just so in love with them. I'm 5 foot 3 and weighed even less than I do now, about 100 pounds. And he's 5 foot 7 and he lifted for context. I learned a lot in those days on how to fight someone off that's bigger than me. It wasn't just the tickling though. As I said before, he just liked to jokingly beat me up. But the force of his punches were not jokes. I would have bruises all over my arms and thighs from him punching me. One time I got in the front seat of our friend's car when he wanted shotgun. So he proceeded to punch my arm the entire 15 minute drive until I was almost crying because I kept trying to move away and tell him to stop. My friend who was driving did nothing. I don't know why. I mean, he was even older than both of us. I don't know why he thought that was normal. It wasn't just punching me either. I had recently gotten my ear pierced and he thought it was so funny to smack me upside the head. One time he made me bleed and when I told him he just said that he hadn't. I tried to talk to him about this so many times, asking please just don't touch my ears. And every time I asked, all he would do was correct my grammar. This was over text. I was honestly just scared to say anything in person. We ended up breaking up and just staying friends. I spent all of my free time at his house like an idiot. Another thing he had started doing was always wanting to smoke me up but never smoking himself. Huge red flag, I know. But at the time all I was thinking was it was more weed for me. I say all of this to explain what our relationship was really like and how utterly confusing this all was for me. To this day, I'm still confused why he acted this way. And now for the part where I think he tried to kill me. I was 16 now and he was 19. The day started off normal. We were just hanging out. From what I remember, this time period is kind of spotty memory for me. The next thing I remember is him sitting on top of my chest and arms pinning me down like he would normally do to tickle me. But this time he had both hands around my neck choking me. Not in a sexual way either. Like both hands on my windpipe. I couldn't breathe, could barely talk. I kept hitting his hands and arms, trying to pull them off my neck. It wasn't working. I was trying to say, I can't breathe, let go. But as I said, I could barely talk. I remember thinking in that very moment, am I gonna die? Is he really gonna kill me? The whole freaking time he was just laughing and smiling. I honestly don't even remember how I got him off of me, but I think I must have used my legs and somehow rolled over. The next day, I almost forgot it even happened until I realized that my neck was sore and bruised. When I went to school, I texted him, you left bruises on my neck. And all I got in response was, oh, sorry, my bad. I wish I could say that this was the last time I hung out with them, but it wasn't. I actually forgot it all happened until weeks later when I was talking to my friend and she was horrified. So I decided that I never wanted to see him again. And I texted him that and no joke. All he said back was, that's understandable. That's all I freaking got. I have no idea what he would have done if we actually kept hanging out, or if I was just a little weaker. Honestly, I don't want to think about it. I'm posting this on Reddit because it's not something I can ever really talk about. But being a guy, the response I've gotten is, well, you must have given him the wrong idea. He probably thought you were just down to wrestle. But now that I'm older, I know what wrestling with your friends is, and it's always mutually agreed on. And not like that. I'm still so confused. I'm 19 now and I can't imagine treating someone like that. Oh yeah, and our whole friend group at the time called me crazy and said I was overreacting. All for me not wanting to hang out with them anymore. And they essentially all cut me out freaking wild.
- [07:07]
Narrator 3
Geico's motorcycle expertise gives me the coverage I need.
- [07:10]
Narrator 1
Like 24. 7 claims I'm on cloud nine.
- [07:14]
Narrator 2
Clouds are wholly unable to support the weight of an adult human.
- [07:17]
Narrator 1
What's happening?
- [07:17]
Narrator 2
Furthermore, clouds are not numbered. Even if you procured a jetpack and searched, you'd find no cloud numbered nine. However, at that altitude, you'd likely befriend a flock of migrating snow geese. Geese who'd encourage you to leave your 24.7geico motorcycle claims insurance behind, as they would take you in. And even share their dinner of crickets and clovers with you. GEICO assumes no liability for any indigestion that may occur from a clover cricket dinner. GEICO expertise for your motorcycle Check engine light on. Take the guesswork out of your Check engine light with O'Reilly Variscan. It's free. Ask for O'Reilly Veriscan today.
- [07:51]
Narrator 1
Auto Parts the story is about my dad's ex and my former stepmother. It's more so of a crazy stepmom story, but again, she was my father's ex and she put me through hell. So I had known this woman since before I could remember. She was really good friends with my mom and dad through high school, so I already knew her before all of this. Unfortunately, my mother was an alcoholic and a pill addict which led to pretty bad neglect for several years when I was very young. A story for another day. After missing most of my third grade year, DCS got involved and my dad got custody of me. He was dating Stepmother at the time and at first everything was fairly normal. She was like an older sister, a friend. It wasn't too long before I noticed things start to change. One day when I was about nine, I was sitting on the living room floor playing with my back against the couch. Stepmother crossed the living room to go down the hallway and as she did seemed to shoulder check the doorway. As soon as she did this, she turned around and started yelling at me, accusing me of pushing her. I stared at her dumbfounded because I hadn't moved from my spot in the floor. She continued yelling and accusing me as I tried to rationalize it all in my head. Maybe I got up and don't remember, but why would I push her? I really had no negative feelings towards her at this point, so it didn't make any sense, but she was an adult and I was a child. Surely she knew what she was talking about. Stepmother was a taller skinny woman with long golden blonde hair straightened through the length with those poofy 80s bangs on top. She typically wore high waisted jeans and kept long pristine red nails that would end up being a horrifying symbol to me in my teen years. Things only got worse as I got older. I would speak to my mom on occasion over the phone or in a letter the first few years, but each time I did, Stepmother would become more and more hostile towards me, claiming that my contact with my mother was making me misbehave. But I was always an introvert. I loved reading in school and I was a bit of a nerd and hated getting into trouble so this accusation didn't make much sense to me even. But what could I do about it? Before too long, I noticed that Stepmother had looked for any opportunity alone with me to treat me however she wanted. Stepmother quickly became extremely militant. Each morning she woke me up for school by bursting into my room and aggressively jerking the covers right off my body. Some mornings even grabbing my feet, digging her nails in and twisting my toes. I was expected to follow a strict schedule on School at 6:15am get out of bed at 6:15, 6:25am get dressed for school at 6:25am Breakfast. At this time I was expected to stand in the exact center point of the threshold between the kitchen and dining room, ready to take my breakfast and sit in my spot at the table. At 6:35am done with breakfast. 6:35, 6:45am finished getting ready for school and at 6:45am be sitting Indian style in the center of the living room, waiting on everyone to be ready. If I did not follow the schedule down to the minute, punishment would be doled out. She would grab my hands while taking my breakfast, twisting one or two fingers out of socket, pulling me close to grit through her teeth at me with glaring, hateful eyes. Sometimes she would step in, including my feet, grinding her heels into my bare skin, twisting and glaring hate into me. On a few occasions she even broke my wooden hairbrushes right across my face, leaving busted blood vessels and massive bruises. When the damage was too obvious, she would try and hide me for a day or so, gently waking me the next morning, acting as though I was sick and telling me that I was too ill to go to school, then brushing my hair back and telling me to go back to sleep. This treatment rolled over into my days after school and it would evolve into other aggressive behaviors. She made sure to conceal any sign of mistreatment from my father, but still, something happened right under his nose. At the dinner table, she would dig her nails into my leg and scream so hard that she would shave off chunks of my skin from my shins with her toenails. Even at church, placing what looked like an affectionate hand on my back. Bo would proceed by giving me an extremely painful and deep pinch into my neck, leaving huge bruises in their place that no one else would see. I was given an hour and a half after school each day to do my homework. After that I was expected to go to our playroom where I was to entertain her daughter. Stepmother's daughter was between five and seven when things started to get really bad. I was expected to play whatever she wanted, when she wanted, and to abide by any requests made. This was never actually said but understood and later learned that way. One day during the summer while eating lunch with her daughter in the playroom, she had asked me to open her dessert. She had a kid cuisine that she had merely taken all of two bites of. Stepmother would typically leave the plastic on her dessert as a system to encourage her to eat her dinner first. Of course, when she asked me to open it, I asked her if she was done eating her meal, passively addressing the fact that she had barely touched it. I was about 14 at the time and it seemed like a plausible thing to big sister her about, but when I didn't give her what she wanted, she got up in a huff to go tattle to her mother as most 6 year olds would do. Stepmother was immediately enraged and barreled down the hallway in my direction. I don't even think I was out of view of her daughter when she grabbed me by the hair and started dragging me. I tried to keep up but I lost my balance and fell to the floor as she continued to drag me down the hallway by my hair. Once we reached my bedroom, she had started kicking me in the stomach and then pulled me to my feet to face my bed. She then began rummaging through my belt drawer and pulled out my woven leather belt that she had already used more than once and then proceeded to beat the hell out of me with the belt, starting at my shoulder blades all the way down to my ankles. Heaven forbid if I screamed she would just beat me even more. The abuse also did not stop physically as she seemed to get a real kick out of bullying me. She wasn't so worried about hiding from my father as she would make us seem light hearted and jovial when he was around. One evening while having a family dinner at one of our local go to sit downs, she had started kicking me under the table, passing me horribly evil glares. After a few minutes of this she spoke up, you chew like a cow. Then started laughing. Why can't you chew right? Doesn't she chew like a cow? My dad chuckled, thinking it was meant lightheartedly, but as he looked down at his mule again, her death glare was staring a hole through me with a tight jaw and the gritted teeth told me otherwise. This became a new target for her abuse. She did this again later on when she noticed that I walked on the inside of my house shoes one day kicking me in the back of the knees making me fall to the floor. She began kicking me in the back, knocking the wind out of me all simply over the way I walked. This became my daily life. Speaking out seemed ridiculous because all of these punishments just felt so absurd. I didn't tell anyone for a long time, but as I got older, people around me got wiser. When I was in middle school, my dad and stepmother were called in for questioning by the school. Two of my teachers were highly suspicious of my bruises and constantly swollen fingers. Stepmother proceeded to put on an act, crying and acting hurt and shocked that they would even think she would hurt a child. I changed schools after that year. Things only got worse once I went to high school as she seemed intimidated by my aging and gaining maturity. My male friends were off limits and my curves were to be hidden in horribly unflattering clothes. I didn't really mind so much as I really had very little interest in boys or displaying my womanhood to any degree. However, one afternoon while taking a shower, she burst into the bathroom to remind me of my timing. As she whipped the bathtub curtain open, she saw the hair growing below my waist. Before I could react, she grabbed the hair and jerked it down, pulling out a handful of my pubic hair. She cursed me for not telling her that I had started maturing in that way. I couldn't tell anyone about that for years. After the belt beating, however, Smil saw my backside and had called my dad at work, cursing him and threatening him to report it. I started going to her house on the weekends after that. After this, I got braver and became less scared once I saw people reacting to what little they saw of my stepmother's behavior. I knew that I was in the right for sticking up for myself. So I did in subtle ways. At first I brought jewelry and makeup to school and I started to give myself space to express myself. Then one morning while running a minute or two behind on breakfast, Stepmother came to the kitchen in a rage. Why wasn't I finished getting ready for school? Before I could turn around from rinsing my dishes, she was rummaging in the utensil drawer and then pulled out a fork. She backed me against the kitchen counter, pressing the fork to my throat. I don't remember what she said to me in those moments, but I remember her hot breath in my ear, hissing through her teeth at me. And I remember the chill of the cold metal prongs on my throat. I was 16. My last day there was a field day of my junior year in high school. I decided to wear a cute little outfit that her sister in law had bought me for casual days. It was a cute cap sleeve striped T shirt. It was cut femininely to suit my curves with long matching shorts. I knew she wouldn't like it, but I also knew that it was completely appropriate for a girl my age, even very conservative in comparison to my other peers. She saw me as I was walking down the hallway towards my bedroom and I saw the rage fill her. She came at me nails first, grabbing my arms and digging her nails in. This is when I snapped and fought her off, shoving her into a wall. Rage filled me as I went to the living room to grab the phone. If you touch me again, I'm gonna call the cops. She went pale and suddenly I wasn't scared for myself anymore. I couldn't control myself and I laughed. You're scared, I said, suddenly enlightened. Her face went blank as she walked towards me. If I have to make your dad choose between you and me, it's not going to be you, she said coldly. I ignored this sentiment because I knew she was delusional to think something like that. I went to my bedroom and packed a bag. She didn't stop me, but she did make sure to let me know that if I left, I wasn't welcome back. I ended up spending that summer in Florida with my stepmother's sil and I moved in with my grandmother for the next several years. I only saw stepmother again once in my 20s. She had left my dad by the time I was out of high school for the man she had been cheating on him with. She and I spoke briefly over Facebook that next year and I confronted her all about what she put me and my dad through. Her response I'm sorry if you ever felt unloved. I was just really stressed and you were a pretty rebellious kid ready to optimize your nutrition.
- [19:52]
Narrator 3
This year, Factor has chef made gourmet meals that make eating well easy. They're dietitian approved and ready to heat and eat in two minutes so you can feel right and feel great no matter what life throws at you. Factor arrives fresh and fully prepared, perfect for any active, busy lifestyle. Lose up to eight pounds in eight weeks with Factor Keto Meals based on a randomized controlled clinical trial with Factor Keto. Results will vary depending on diet and exercise. With 40 options across eight dietary preferences on the menu each week, it's easy to pick meals tailored to your goals. Choose from preferences like Calorie, Smart, Protein plus or Keto Factor can help you feel your best all day long with wholesome smoothies, breakfasts, grab and go snacks and more. Add ons Reach your goals this year with ingredients you can trust and convenience that can't be beat. Eat smart with Factor get started@Factor meals.com Factor podcast and use code Factorpodcast to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That's Code Factor podcast@factormeals.com Factorpodcast to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box.
- [20:54]
Narrator 1
This first started when I was in my first year of sixth form. My friend, let's call her Candle introduced me to her other friend who we'll call Amanda. I used to chat with Amanda every day for the next two weeks simply because she used to message me constantly. She seemed like a nice girl at first until she had started to make me feel uncomfortable around her as she used to message me I want to cuddle you like a big teddy bear and similar things to that and I shot it down and she got upset and threatened to call the police on me if I didn't go on a date with her. I'm a gay guy by the way, but I wasn't out of the closet at this point in my life. I screenshotted everything she said to me and I showed my friend Candle and then she stated, yeah, I believe you. She's a compulsive liar. She actually lied about a teacher assaulting her and she used to make things up to make herself sound better than everyone else. I was so glad Kendall believed me and advised me to block Amanda, which I did. Fast forward two years later. I was now in college and I encountered her again. I didn't recognize her and I was chatting to her without realizing she was the same Amanda from two years prior. That was until I messaged Candle on Facebook. As Amanda told me she knew Candle, Candle sent me a long paragraph. Erm, you do realize that's Amanda, right? Then it all came flooding back to me. She's right. It's the same girl who threatened to call the police on me for not going on a date with her. She was dating a friend of mine in college who's now my bestest friend. I tried to warn him but he didn't listen to me. Amanda claimed to have a crush on me a second time and I shot it down right away and told her I'm not interested. She obviously took offense to that and threatened to call the police again, to which I just replied, oh yeah, what's the police going to do? This isn't even a police matter. Which by looking at her facial expression, angered her more. But she walked off the next couple of Weeks went by and I ended up telling my friend about what she had been messaging me with and he obviously believed me as he saw her messaging me in real time. She kept asking me on a date and saying that she liked me since day one. But here's the thing. She was in a real relationship with my friend. Naturally my friend got upset and called her in front of me and she claims she had no clue what he's talking about and told him I'm making up lies. Then he forgave her as she admitted it was true. Just a week later, to my annoyance, she began hanging out with us. I was nice to her because I didn't want my friend to get upset. She tried telling me that she had two children at 17 with one being 13 and one being 3 years old. I thought that's odd. Something wasn't adding up. I should have called her out but my friend was there and I didn't want to upset him. She even stated that the three year old child was my friend's daughter even though he looked confused like it was his first time he ever heard of this child. When she went home, I asked him. He stated no idea. She never mentioned a child before now and we definitely never had sex. Very strange. Fast forward a year and I was working in a shop. She had suddenly showed up and asked to speak to me. My manager let me go on my 30 minute lunch. She was with her friend and she wanted to tell me that my best friend was manipulating her and that he was always hurting her, which I knew for a fact wasn't true. I'm also going to be referring to my friend now as Marcus. Marcus wouldn't hurt a fly, but I just listened to whatever else she wanted to say. She said that she was trapped in a relationship with him and felt scared of him. No idea why she was telling me this knowing I don't like her. I just acted like I believed her and headed back to work. I then came home and facetimed Marcus and I told him everything that she told me earlier that day. He started crying his eyes out because he found out she cheated on him with another guy. A friend of his showed him a picture as proof and forwarded it to me. It was definitely a picture of her with some guy kissing on the bus. I told Markus that he needed to get away from her asap, which he did until the next day they were back together as he yet again forgave her. We started doing group video chats, me, Marcus and Amanda at her request and remember her three year Old from the year prior. Well now she's a five year old named Lily who literally never existed. And I asked her about the 13 year old she mentioned and she just replied with I don't have a child other than Lily. And the next couple of months go by and she used to say Lily's in bed or Lily's at school, etc. While I called around, she used to show us Lily by turning the camera to a pitch black area of her bedroom and then quickly put the camera back to her. I thought this was odd and I then said why did you move the camera so fast? We didn't even see anything. She then replied, well, because she's camera shy or she's asleep. I just couldn't take it anymore. It was excuse after excuse. If Lily was Marcus daughter, he deserved to see her as he literally never met or saw Lily, not even once. I sent her a long message stating that Lily simply does not exist and why aren't there any pictures of her then I blocked her because I just had enough of her playing games with my best friend. She then went on people's Facebook and I kid you not, she took photos of random people's children and claimed them as Lily. Marcus and I looked at each other and we knew these were different pictures of random kids. Some of them weren't even girls. This went on until one day me and Marcus went to Amanda's mother's workplace and Marcus showed her all the messages, especially the ones about Lily and the many pictures of her and the random guy she meets up with. Some of the men Amanda met up with were like 50, 60 year olds and we found her on a dating website asking for men to fatten her up. We showed everything to Amanda's mother. Her mother was furious. She said that Amanda never had kids, she was never assaulted as a child and she knew that something was odd as she got into some random man's car just the day before. I really thought that this was the end of Amanda, but I couldn't be more wrong as Marcus, like an idiot, met up with her that evening and forgave her for like the millionth time. And then something strange happened. The next day Marcus called me on FaceTime and he was furious with me. I asked him what was going on, what did I do? He told me I was a bad friend and he wanted to cut me out of his life. I was in shock and I actually heard Amanda laughing in the background. Then it clicked. She said something about me which wasn't true and now me and Marcus are arguing like crazy and he blocked me on everything, which really broke my heart as this guy was my best friend and now he's believing his compulsive, lying girlfriend over me. Marcus and I were having an on and off argument all the time and Amanda was at the root of it, telling him lies and manipulating him, like she was jealous of our friendship. Maybe she thought I was a threat to her relationship with Marcus and tried to split us up as best friends. She literally used to invite me out with them and when I turned up, she used to be like, I wanted to spend time with you. Why is he here? Excuse me? You're the one who invited me. This happened every single time until one time I snapped back at her, which made her cry. But I didn't care. She needed to stop doing this to me as it wasn't healthy for my mental health. A few weeks go by, Marcus was texting me on Facebook messenger and we were having a laugh like we used to. He went to the bathroom as he was with Amanda. Then I suddenly got a text from Marcus again saying, hi, it's Amanda. I just replied with hey. And she had started sending me more threatening messages saying that I need to leave Markus alone and that he doesn't like me and I need to move on. I was just like, what the hell? I ended up arguing with her over this, asking why the hell she's using his phone to send me these messages. Amanda was like, I dare you to come say that to my face. At this point, I had had enough and I contacted a friend of mine who we'll call Jasmine. I told her all about the situation and I ended up in tears on the phone. I've known Jasmine since primary school and we've been close friends since. So she naturally got defensive and she asked me to get in her car and she'll draw me off where they are so I can say into her face, Jasmine wanted to hurt Amanda for what she's done to me. We saw them and then we confronted them. Marcus genuinely had no clue what was going on until I showed him the messages that Amanda had sent on his phone. He was furious and he walked off in tears. I ran after him, leaving Amanda and Jasmine alone. Marcus and I hugged it out and we had a talk about what's happened. He was telling me that he isn't allowed friends anymore and Amanda even made him choose between her and his family, which made me even more furious. I had had enough of the way she was treating my best friend. The next day, Jasmine messaged me and Said she can't be friends anymore as I was bullying Amanda for months, which wasn't even true. I would never bully anyone. I said to Jasmine, if she was really my friend, she would know that Amanda was lying. But obviously not to this very day. I never saw Jasmine again. This felt like a big betrayal of our friendship, honestly. And I would never talk to Jasmine ever again. This was over six years ago. Marcus and I were doing better, and he wasn't letting Amanda manipulate him anymore. That was until these boys came into our lives. Well, first was another girl I was friends with named Alice. I knew Alice for years, and I invited her out with Marcus and I to a pub for a few drinks. It was a nice evening and Alice even called Amanda and told her that she needed to leave Marcus alone. Later that evening, we said goodbye, and I was naturally worried for Marcus, as he's like a little brother to me. At this point, Alice asked if I was gay, which I am gay, but I wasn't out of the closet yet, so I responded with no. Alice then said, then why are you worried about Marcus? You obviously fancy him. Well, no, he's like a brother to me and we've been through a lot because of Amanda, so I obviously do care about him. I thought to forget about this conversation, so I assumed that she was just making conversation. Alice messaged Marcus asking him out on a date on a messaging app, and by the end of the week, they had started dating. I was really happy that he's moving on from Amanda, but boy, was I wrong. I had started receiving messages from Alice's brother and his friends stating that they're gonna slice my throat and messaging Marcus to help them beat me up. We were talked into joining a group video call, and the call contained me, Marcus, Amanda, Alice's brother, and his friend. They were saying horrible things towards me, saying I should die and that I hurt women, which wasn't true at all. It was just more of Amanda's lies. And I was messaging Marcus to back me up because he was quiet. While I'm trying to defend myself against these crazy guys. He just read my messages and still sat there not saying anything. At this point, I had enough and I just left the call in the group and I blocked all of them apart from Marcus. Marcus called me the next morning saying sorry for not defending me. I just replied back with, well, that's not good enough. They were literally threatening me, dude. Marcus went quiet and said sorry again. By that point, I had ended the call because I couldn't be bothered with distress anymore. Next thing I know, Alice was denying that she ever dated Marcus and claiming that I had made a fake account of her on the messaging app. Are you serious? I also noticed Alice was being besties with Amanda on Facebook. So that's the puzzle fitting. At this point, I wanted to just end my life. I was at my lowest. I was losing all of my friends because of this psychotic Amanda. This was the start of my depression getting worse and worse. Marcus and I eventually made up and were best friends again. But there was a time period where we didn't talk for over a year. I guess that's me trying to move on with my life. But we eventually started talking again, and Marcus and I met up again, just the two of us. And he was saying how sorry he was for everything he's done. I told him it's okay. He was just under Amanda's control. Fast forward to 2024. Marcus has a new fiance who is a very lovely girl, and I'm gonna be the best man at his wedding because I stopped him from jumping every time Amanda cheated on him. This part I did leave out in the story, but, yeah, that happened. He now sees I was always there for him and we're closer than ever. He defends me a lot nowadays, and he always has my back. I've seen Amanda here and there a few times, but when I do, I never acknowledge her. She truly was a psychotic woman. Back in my single days, I often tried to use online dating apps. I talked with this one guy in particular. For the sake of this story, I'll call him Tom. Tom and I had started chatting after we matched, and it went well. So we progressed to talking over the phone. He had a nice voice, and I liked that he could carry on a conversation because I always feel sort of awkward with talking to people, and I have the problem of running out of things to say. My mind will draw a complete blank when I'm nervous, so having him talk to me on the other end of the line was a nice relief. After some successful phone conversations, we went on a couple of dates in person that were surprisingly very pleasant. We met up at public venues, a couple of restaurants, the usual. We both had a background in English, and he was also a writer, just like me. So it was nice to have these interests in common. Our conversations were easy, in depth, with a nice flow. I invited him to a function in my community where he introduced himself to my neighbors, friends, and family. They kind of looked at me questioningly, like, is this your new boyfriend? Raising their eyebrows? I told them, no, that we were just friends who were still getting to know each other. It felt too soon for me to call him my boyfriend, but Tom said something different, telling everyone that I was, in fact, his girlfriend. I had to keep correcting him. I felt a little embarrassed, and I really regretted bringing him to the gathering. Overall, we really only dated. I used that term loosely, and it was for about three weeks before things started to get really weird with him. Tom was increasing his number of text messages and wanting to spend a lot more time with me, asking to see me almost every single day. At first I thought it was flattering. I enjoyed the attention and the feeling of being wanted. But at some point, I'm not exactly sure when, it had escalated to a really uncomfortable level. I remember just feeling smothered. He'd blow up my phone, asking me what I was doing, but it didn't seem like he was asking me in a normal how are you doing? Kind of way. There was a controlling undertone to the question when I answered, he'd want to know every detail about where I was, what I was doing, what time I was doing it, everything. I considered that maybe he was just feeling insecure and he would calm down with some time. On our next outing, I met up with him and my friend so we could go out to a bar and hang out. At some point, though, my friend wanted to leave because she wasn't feeling good. We said goodbye to Tom and I left the bar to go take her home. When I checked my phone after arriving home late that same night, I saw that I had a bunch of angry text messages from Tom about why didn't you kiss me goodbye? And things like, you don't really like me, do you? I just wrote back saying that I had to take my friend home. I didn't know I was supposed to kiss you. Kissing shouldn't be an obligation. Sorry, I just didn't think about it because I was occupied. Can we let this go? I'm really tired and I want to go to bed now. He just said back, okay, you're right, I'm sorry. Please don't ghost me, okay? Or something along those lines. I don't know why, but I just felt really weird and that he was way too clingy and it worsened from here. Moving forward. Whenever I talk to him, it seems like he would deliberately be trying to initiate an argument or fight. I'm not the confrontational type, and this was incredibly energy draining for me to keep up with. Why does everything have to be an argument? I asked him. He explained how he grew up in an abusive household and that he was used to the members of his family fighting and arguing all the time. This felt normal to him. I explained, well, I'm not used to this, and frankly, it feels a little scary to me. People in my family talk things out calmly. Whenever we have disagreements, we don't raise our voices, jump to accusations, or have temper tantrums. You're right, he said. But of course, this didn't change. I lost the spark. The initial attraction I had for Tom was now gone. I actually felt repelled by him now. I decided I just couldn't see him anymore. I felt really sad and guilty for his life situation and the way he grew up. But at the same time, the rollercoaster dynamic of our communication was really starting to take a toll on my own mental health. When I broke up with him, he had threatened to commit suicide. I didn't know what to do, so I asked my parents and some of my old psychology course classmates for advice. Everyone advised me that Tom's mental instability wasn't my responsibility and that he needed to go seek help. He kept flooding me with messages on all of my accounts. As I mentioned before, he was a writer, so he'd sent beautifully written, lengthy pleas for forgiveness. I replied with, I really just need a break right now. But he ignored my messages and would keep trying. At one point, he had sent me a photo of his dog, telling me that his dog says, hi, I miss you. That's when I thought, okay, this is weird and manipulative, so I'm going to block him. And I did. I blocked him on everything. Phone numbers, social media accounts, etc. When he couldn't reach me, he resorted to some drastic measures. He emailed my parents. Yes, my parents. Why is he messaging us? My parents asked me. This feels weird and creepy. I don't know, I said honestly. He's pleading us to convince you to get back with them. I don't want to be involved in this, my mom told me. I don't want you involved either, I said. My parents knew the whole ordeal already because I'd asked for their advice when he threatened suicide. So while having a discussion about it, our consensus was to offer no response. They proceeded to block him as well. Next, it was my friend who had gone with us to the bar. Uh, Tom is messaging me saying that you broke his heart or something. She informed me. What happened? Did you do something to him? I broke up with him. Just don't respond and block him, I said. She obliged, but that wasn't the end of it. Then Tom reached out to my neighbors. I guess he remembered their names at the community function and he memorized them all by heart. He reached out to each and every one of them with a lengthy, elaborate story about how we had been together for at least six months and that we were passionately and madly in love. In this story, he had portrayed himself as some kind of victim and I was this villainous man eater or something. Something weird, I don't know, because I didn't want to read it. What did you do to this poor guy? I kept being asked over and over again by different neighbors. I was forced to keep repeating an explanation about what happened. We only went out for like a few weeks. I said a month at most. I advised them to please not respond or encourage him. Honestly, I'm a very private person, so having my whole community know about my situation was deeply humiliating for me. This went on for about a year. I'd have someone tell me Tom tried to reach out to me again. There was one older lady neighbor of mine that actually continued talking to Tom over email, even though I asked her to stop. She told me, but he writes so beautifully and he's a beautiful, dark soul. The whole thing had actually put a rift between her and her husband. So, yeah, that was a thing too. A separate neighbor told me that she was afraid for my own personal safety. She said, he seems like a stalker type, like from those crime shows. Which didn't do much to help my anxiety. I spent a lot of time indoors. For a good while after that, I felt withdrawn, insecure, deeply embarrassed, and most of all, scared. I felt like I had to look over my shoulder whenever I stepped outside of my own home. I took a long break from dating apps, feeling a bit shaken up from the whole experience. Two years later, in 2018, he texted me from a different number saying, you know who this is. If you still don't want me back, don't respond and I'll leave you alone forever. Even though he didn't give me his name, I just knew it was Tom. Frankly, I was relieved. My first inclination was Tom. Wow, I'm finally free. Thankfully, he hasn't messaged me, my friends, parents, or neighbors again since. I just hope it stays that way. Some extra information before I bring this to a close. I must have a personality type that draws in these sorts of people, because when I finally met my current husband in the same year of 2018, his mother pulled the same stunt on me. The smear campaign. This happened in 2020, and we were forced to cut contact with her, but that's a whole nother story.