Transcript
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Tyler (0:59)
I'm a female and this happened to me when I was in middle school. I'm about to go off to college this August to Tulane University, but before I do that I need to get this story off my chest because I want to let kids know who are still in the fifth grade that middle school can be the most troubling years of your life. I was in sixth grade and I went to school at Columbia Grammar Prep School in New York, which is one of the oldest schools in the country. I'm still enrolled in that school to this day and have been since kindergarten. I've pretty much befriended everyone in my grade throughout all of the years. Only this one guy made me question why I came to this school in the first place. His name was Jack and he was new to the school that year. At first he seemed well mannered, but you can't always underthink. He would sit next to me in all of my classes, would sit at the same table I was at lunch. I wasn't too sure if he liked me or that he just wanted to be friends with me, but I wasn't too worried about it. After some time he had asked me for my number and I gave it to him thinking he wouldn't be creepy over text. He was normal at first, talking about school related stuff and current events that are going on in the world. The texts and calls were normal at first, but one day he had asked me out. To be real, I wasn't surprised because I expected him to do so at some point, but I didn't know when. I wasn't offended when he asked me, but I politely declined his invitation. After I did this, he ended the call right away. I hope that I didn't hurt his feelings, but everyone takes things in different ways. I texted him saying I'M sorry Jack. I just don't like you like that. He didn't respond the whole night. The next day then came and we had school. When I saw Jack in school, I tried to talk to him hoping to sort things out. But he would just ignore me and walk away. I must have really hurt his feelings, but I was still not going to give him what he wanted. The rest of the day went by and he would continuously avoid me. I went home that night on the school bus and I noticed that Jack was staring at me from outside when I was sitting down. I decided right there that I will no longer try to talk to him until he apologizes and to let me know that he will move on from this. The next day then came during the hours in the early morning, I got told from one of my teachers that I had to go to the headmaster's office. I was so confused because what could I have possibly done this time? I got to the office and the headmaster told me to have a seat. I listened to him and asked him if I was in trouble. He said, I was informed that you've been cyberbullying Alex and Jason. Those were two kids in my grade. I was so bewildered by hearing this and I defended myself and assured him that I did not cyberbully them. He then said that he had proof. So he pulled out a piece of paper from his desk and he showed me a photo of messages cyberbullying Alex and Jason through text. I was so astounded seeing this and I told the headmaster that this was photoshopped. He then said to me that I had 24 hours to prove that this is fake and if it's not, I will be suspended for two weeks. I had to think fast and take steps quickly. I took a picture of the paper and then left the office. At lunchtime, I went over to Alex and Jason. They were both sitting at the same table. I grabbed both of them and said that I needed them right now. They both squinted their eyes as they obviously didn't know why I needed them. I told them that Jack had spread a rumor that I was bullying them. They had such confused expressions on their faces as they didn't know what I was talking about. I then pulled out my phone and showed them the picture. After they saw the photo and examined it, their faces then turned to horror. Jason then asked me, why would he do something like that to you? What did you do to him? I simply didn't do anything. I responded back. He asked me to go out with him and I nicely rejected him and I guess he didn't take so kindly to that. I continued on. I felt so disgusted saying this to them because it was just plainly embarrassing. Alex then said, we need to go to the office now. We got to the headmaster's office and both Alex and Jason declared that I was not cyberbullying them and they then proved it by showing the headmaster the text message history between me and them and our conversations did not show anything bullying related. The headmaster seemed to catch on to what we were saying and he apologized for not believing me at first and he also said that I'm clear and won't face any trouble. We all thanked him and we all left the room, continuing with our day. Later that night I got an email from the assistant principal saying that Jack had been suspended for a week for spreading misinformation about me cyberbullying the other students. I was very joyful to hear this because I wouldn't have to run into him at school and be targeted for something I didn't do. Hopefully he'll come back more mature and just own up to the mistakes he made. Sad to say, this wasn't what I thought it was. The weekend then came and I was on my way home from dance class. This might be unnecessary, but I used to be a ballet dancer. Anyways, back to what I was saying. I was on my block, walking alone on my phone when I was suddenly interrupted by a loud hey. I turned my head to see who it was and to my fear it was none other than Jack. I was so stunned to see him in my neighborhood. How did he even know where I lived? The school didn't allow handbooks for families, which they would have had home addresses on them. And my school was in uptown Manhattan and I lived in downtown. I took a few steps back, feeling unsettled. I calmly asked Jack, how did you even find me? He then snapped at me and said, so you're just not going to go out with me, huh? I was planning this ever since I first met you and this is how you're gonna treat me? I was about to lose it, but I remained cool because I didn't want to make a scene. I said to Jack, I wasn't even being mean to you, dude. You just overreacted when I said no. And then you spread lies about me, which almost got me suspended. And now you're stalking me when I never even told you where I lived. You've gone way too far. He was still yelling at me, saying stuff like how I was being a dick to him. And how I mistreated him, which I never did in fact do that. He then put his fists out like he was going to punch me. I started yelling for help because now I was being threatened. I was now running away and Jack was chasing me. I ran and ran until I got to the building I lived in. I saw the doorman and that's when Jack ran away from me. He probably knew that he was going to get caught. I got inside and the doorman asked me who that kid was. I said, this guy goes to my school and he was stalking me. On my way home. He then asked me if he needed to get the police involved. I told him, no, it's fine, I can handle this. And then I went upstairs to my apartment. I rushed inside and my parents were sitting at the dinner table. They saw the scared look on my face and they asked me what was wrong. I told them that Jack, the one who spread lies that I was bullying other kids, somehow knew where I lived. And he followed me home from dance class. Both of my parents were so alarmed to hear this and my mother said that she'll email the headmaster right away. It was hard for me to fall asleep that night knowing what happened just a few hours ago. I was afraid that he never left and is still probably in my neighborhood waiting for me to come outside. Monday then came and before the day could even start, I was called into the headmaster's office. I was really wishing that it would be good news and it was. Jack had been expelled from school. This made me feel at ease as he would no longer have to be following me everywhere I go and he wouldn't be harassing me anymore. The rest of my middle school years went well and moved fast like the speed of light. I never had any stalker encounters ever again, and I hope it remains that way. I'll just say this, for those of you who are about to be in middle school, choose carefully of the kids you want to hang out with. And if you don't choose right, you might end up in a situation like I was in, if not even worse. So please everyone, choose your friends wisely. All of this occurred a year ago when I was still in high school at the age of 17. To give you a little bit of background, I'm a white, gay, 18 year old boy named Tyler who went to high school in a small town in South Louisiana. Most of the boys who attended this school were wide, straight and of course a little homophobic. No one was ever openly homophobic to my face though. But you know how small Towns work. There was, however, one older guy I sort of looked up to. He was much older than me and he had graduated in 2015, but would always come by to the high school and visit. He was openly gay and black. He would be 100% himself and not afraid of what anyone else thought of him. It was the most heroic and attractive thing to me at the time. Everyone loved and respected him. His name was Gregory, and after paying a few visits to the high school a week, he ended up becoming the dance team coach for our school's dance team. And Gregory was the only boy on the dance team at the time. He attended our school as well as at practice. He was very helpful and friendly toward me and the girls. He would like to make jokes about how the boys are always the better dancers on our high school dance team. At times, he made me feel like he saw something in me, almost as if he could see himself in me. Whenever I would dance at football and basketball games. I didn't have a car at the time, so I would walk to school and walk home from dance practice at night. Greg would eventually start offering to give me rides. Hey, sweetie, need another Lyft? I must start a taxi service and I only pick up cute white boys. He would tell me when I was alone with him on these car rides. These were the type of silly, inappropriate comments that he would make. At the time, I was young and naive, so it felt really nice to have attention from an older man who I idolized. It felt like we had a special bond. On our car rides. He would tell me his fun and exciting college stories. He would say, at my university, there are tons of gay people. There are even LGBTQ clubs that you can join. I no longer feel alone now that I'm in college, he would say. He would even show me beautiful music that he enjoyed. I was really starting to become a Stevie Wonder fan. Our after school car rides then turned into after school hangouts, and before I knew it, Greg and I were hanging out every day. I had never been in love before, but this felt like love. But the age difference could never work. He was 25 and I was 17. It felt like Gregory was my forbidden fruit. The man I wanted but couldn't have. The fish I wanted but could never catch. The apple on the tree that was way too high for me to reach. As much as he meant to me, I knew that I could never have him. So I needed to do the mature thing and protect myself. I was approaching the end of my senior year of high school and all sports were at an end, which meant that I would be seeing Gregory a lot less. I was in a weird place where it felt the best for me to just stop speaking with him. After all, we were just friends. I ended up ghosting him after our last basketball game. That was when things began to take a disturbing turn. I was in my world history class when I noticed a black hand wave quickly by the window. My desk was right near the window, so it was easy for me to spot. I thought nothing of it until I heard someone humming a song. It kind of sounded like Superstitious by Stevie Wonder. I then received a text from Gregory. It was a picture of him smiling outside of the school with a text message that said, hey, meet me in the boys room. Let's hang out for a minute. At this moment, I recall thinking this would be normal if we went to the same school or even the same age. But it felt really strange that a grown man would do this to a high school kid. I was terrified and I didn't know what to do until I heard my teacher then say, gregory. My teacher walked over to the window and opened it. Out popped Gregory. The entire class laughed. Even the teacher laughed because that's just how Greg was treated. Like he was still this big goofy student who could do no wrong. But I saw something really wrong with this picture. Gregory, what in the world are you doing by my window? I'm trying to teach history here. She said playfully. Oh, you know, just trying to find another way in. He joked as he climbed into the classroom from the window. The class and teacher got a big laugh out of this as he fit his fat ass through the window. Once he got into the classroom, he then turned to me and shouted, hi, Tyler. As he ran through the classroom. I could not believe it. That son of a bitch just got away with that. The reality then hit me. I was being stalked. That night, Gregory showed up by my window. He tapped at my window for about 13 minutes until I eventually opened it and let him in. You're not sleeping alone tonight, he forcefully said. He locked my door and laid on the floor. Go to sleep and let me watch. I cried as I went to sleep. When I woke up, Gregory had posted pictures of me sleeping in my bed with the caption, peaceful little Tyler. This is when the rumor started. In the mornings, when I would show up to school, kids would say things to me like, hey, Tyler, did you have a nice night with groomer Greg? Hey, Tyler, is groomer Greg going to pay you a visiting class today? Little did they know, I felt tormented One day when I walked home from school, I could see his car following me. He was driving slowly and a short distance away as if I couldn't see him. I then lost him when I got down my street. As I was walking into my house, I heard my mom's car door open and out jumped Greg. He grabbed me. Tyler, why did you stop talking to me? I thought we had a little thing going on. I told him there was nothing going on between us and to leave me alone because I was a minor. He then grabbed my face and put it right next to his. What about when you turn 18, baby boy? I jerked myself back and stared at him in disbelief. You're a damn groomer, aren't you? I asked. He then giggled and said, oh, you thought you were the only one. You think you're special. How cute. He then did something I would never forget. He looked right at me and then started to sing a jingle.