The Dispatch Podcast – “Dear Ambassador” (Jan 20, 2026)
Host: Steve Hayes
Panel: Jonah Goldberg, Ike (“Mike”) Warren, Declan Garvey
Episode Theme: The intersection of Trump’s foreign policy—specifically the demand for Greenland—and the unraveling of the conservative movement. Also, the culture of NFL coaching firings as a metaphor for instant gratification.

Episode Overview

In this lively and incisive roundtable, Steve Hayes and his Dispatch colleagues dissect the shocking Trump letter pressing for the “control” of Greenland—tying it to Trump’s bruised ego and thirst for the Nobel Peace Prize—and go on to debate what this moment says about NATO, American conservatism, and the future of the right. The panel also delivers a sharp meta-conversation about NFL head coach firings as a lens on cultural expectations for instant success.

Segment 1: Trump’s Letter to Norway and the Greenland Gambit

Timestamps: 00:00–49:44

The Letter

• The panel opens by reading and reacting to a letter reportedly written by Donald Trump to Norway’s prime minister (and misaddressed as “Dear Ambassador”).
  • Key content: Trump laments not being given the Nobel Peace Prize as justification for no longer prioritizing “purely peace,” threatens U.S. assertiveness toward Greenland, questions Denmark’s claim, and concludes the U.S. must have “complete and total control of Greenland.”
  • Quote from letter (read at [01:36]):

    “Considering your country decided not to give me the Nobel Peace Prize for having stopped eight wars plus, I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of peace... Denmark cannot protect that land from Russia or China … The world is not secure unless we have complete and total control of Greenland. Thank you, President DJT.”

Panel Reactions

Is This Real Life?

• Hayes is stunned by both the content and the seriousness with which it’s presented.

  • [06:28] Steve Hayes:

    “Isn't the correct response that we have a president... absolutely, clearly, demonstrably, and frighteningly insane? … I didn't get the Nobel Peace Prize, so now I might invade Greenland... it’s totally insane.”

• Goldberg doubts insanity:

  • [07:19] Jonah Goldberg:

    “This is pure solipsistic and remarkably consistent narcissism... The most consistent thing about Donald Trump... is that he cannot make a distinction between his personal wants and desires... and what is good.”

A Mad King or Just Narcissistic?

• Mike (Ike Warren) sees little difference in outcome:
  • [10:02] Mike Warren:

    “Whether he's insane or narcissistic doesn't have much of a difference in terms of what does that mean to have a person like that as president... just another example of how he's unfit for the job.”

Should We Take Greenland Rhetoric Seriously?

• Panel consensus: Yes. Trump’s mindset is “might makes right” and schoolyard “finders keepers” logic.
• Mike Warren: [10:02]
  > “He does not think of anything but sort of right is might is right. And we're going to take this because we were also there. And what right do you have? We're bigger.”
• Goldberg draws a parallel to Trump’s real estate ego—his fixation on expanding “territory” as legacy, regardless of actual U.S. interests.

Republican and International Response

• Declan notes a split—some Republicans (Sen. Eric Schmidt, Ted Cruz) openly support the annexation rhetoric; others (Tom Tillis, Don Bacon) openly oppose.
  • A bipartisan delegation visits Greenland to “reassure” local leaders.
  • Macron signals a potential EU anti-coercion response—including new tariffs on the U.S.
• Declan: [17:27]
  > “France… is starting to build a coalition [for] … additional tariffs, taxes on tech companies, curbs on American investment in the EU…”

The Threat to NATO

• Trump’s “territorial expansion” and tariffs are pushing the U.S. from threats to actual punitive economic measures—potentially undermining or ending NATO.
• Hayes: [32:07]
  > “Why does anyone think that that's not the objective here? That seems … much more a feature than a bug, particularly if you look at Donald Trump's history on the question of NATO.”
• Goldberg: [37:24]
  > “I don't think the point of this is the destruction of NATO... It's just that Trump doesn't care if that's the byproduct.”

Russian Signals

• Putin and Russian spokesmen publicly celebrate and justify the American push for Greenland, seeing it as validation for their own Ukraine tactics and as a way to fracture transatlantic unity.
• Mike [45:17]:
  > “It’s pretty obvious what they’re trying to do... The Russians don’t like NATO—...they want it destroyed.”

Segment 2: Conservatism in Crisis—Is This the End?

Timestamps: 52:47–78:00

Two Essays, Two Diagnoses

• Hayes contrasts Jonah Goldberg’s “Beware the New Americanism” (lamenting ethno-nationalist “Heritage America” conservatism’s rise) with Ross Douthat’s NYT piece “The End of Conservatism” (diagnosing Trump’s destruction of the old conservative mansion).

Goldberg’s Take (summarized at [55:13])

• The fusion of nationalism and trolling on the right is creating a wedge between “real Americans” and the rest—pretending that ethnicity or bloodline confers citizenship.

• [56:54] Jonah Goldberg:
  > “The more your ancestors have been here from the beginning, not counting black people, the more real of an American you are… It is a very nationalistic, you don’t have to call it fascist, pose…”

• Formerly, anti-anti-Trump was the glue; now, it’s “anti-anti-fascist,” as disturbing far-right actors are included in the right’s “big tent.”

• The damage is not just to politics but to the very brand of American conservatism.

Douthat’s Vision

• Conservative movement as “Victorian mansion” now gutted by Trump, its old residents either fled (to the “Mike Pence gazebo”) or resigned to irrelevance.
• Declan and Mike note that the present rupture may actually be cyclical; the unpopularity and unworkability of Trumpism could fuel a revival—even if not a full return to Reaganite conservatism.

Will The Real Conservatives Stand Up?

• Declan: [68:27]
  > “...The need to keep the flame alive of Reaganite conservatism, free markets and classical liberalism, until that time at which the world… decides it needs it again.”

Goldberg on Douthat ([71:35])

• Variety of conservatives have different levels of patience for populism, and Douthat is fairly gentle toward the new right—per Goldberg, too gentle regarding “the excesses.”
• [77:51] Hayes:
  > “He saves the toughest barbs for the true cons wearing earplugs… whereas the excesses of what we're seeing on the natcon right get… shrugs of shoulders.”

Segment 3: NFL Head Coach Firings—Culture and Consequence

Timestamps: 80:06–90:04

Is the Coach Firing Frenzy the New Normal?

• Hayes observes the ouster (or departure) of long-successful NFL coaches—Mike Tomlin, John Harbaugh, Matt LaFleur, Sean McDermott—despite strong records.

  • Now it seems to be “Super Bowl or bust” for NFL head coaches.

• Declan: [82:15]

  “It comes down to the standard that the owners want to hold their organizations to… The grass is always greener on the other side. I can understand it being frustrating to go 9–7 and lose in the playoffs every year, but going 4–13 and not making the playoffs every year is a whole lot worse.”

• Mike suggests part of this is cyclical—a “planets aligning” phenomenon—but “the firing of these coaches who get to the playoffs and lose, that's new.”

• Hayes references the “McConnell Rule” in US politics—a kind of parallel to the NFL:

  “It’s rare that you have somebody like a George H.W. Bush or Joe Biden… The exceptions perhaps prove the rule.”

  • In coaching: Only three Super Bowl era coaches have won their first with a team in year nine or beyond.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• [07:19] Goldberg (on Trump’s character):

  "This is pure solipsistic and remarkably consistent narcissism."

• [10:02] Mike Warren (on rhetoric vs. reality):

  “This is Mad King type stuff ... I should be skeptical of this. This seems so insane that there's no way it can be real. And then ... no longer to think there's no way something Donald Trump does or says can be real. It's so outlandish.”

• [23:31] Goldberg’s “Silence of the Lambs” analogy:

  “If you say it like that, you make it sound like eating people is just… ‘well, that's what he does’ … It’s similar with how Trump spinners do this.”

• [37:24] Goldberg (on Trump’s motives):

  “I don't think the point of this is the destruction of NATO… It's just that Trump doesn't care if that's the byproduct.”

• [55:13] Goldberg (on new right nationalism):

  “… Be vigilant, American.… It’s presenting all of this weird sort of young white men that look like they could be, you know, posters from World War I in America, from Nazi Germany … It’s super creepy …”

• [71:35] Goldberg (on Douthat and the New Right):

  “He is extremely gifted at writing in this space between saying what he actually thinks and giving suggestive credit to critics… sort of running between the raindrops and avoiding getting wet with any ideological stain on himself…”

• [82:15] Declan (on the NFL):

  “… The grass is always greener on the other side. I can understand it being frustrating to go 9–7 and lose in the playoffs every year, but going 4–13 and not making the playoffs every year is a whole lot worse. So be careful what you wish for.”

Key Takeaways

• U.S. foreign policy is now openly transactional and ego-driven under Trump: The Greenland letter is not parody but policy—one that’s destabilizing alliances and delighting America’s adversaries.
• The GOP, and American conservatism more broadly, faces a crisis of identity and principle: The old guard is marginalized, populism and ethno-nationalist themes are ascendant, and debate continues over what—if anything—will be enduring after the Trump era.
• Political and cultural life (from international affairs to NFL coaching) is dominated by impatience, spectacle, and a thirst for immediate results, crowding out legacy-building and institutional memory.

Segment Timestamps Quick Reference

• Trump’s Greenland Letter & NATO Fallout: 00:00–49:44
• Conservatism’s Crisis: Goldberg & Douthat: 52:47–78:00
• NFL Coaching Carousel: 80:06–90:04

Tone & Final Thoughts

The episode is sharp, skeptical, at times wry and darkly humorous. The panel brings experience and a dose of alarm, especially regarding the “mad king” aspects of presidential behavior now directly driving world affairs. They are not afraid to call out the absurd and the dangerous, nor to bemoan the decline of principled conservatism—even as they hold out hope that intellectual and moral clarity will, at some point, regain its footing. The conversation on NFL coaches provides a lighter but still thought-provoking coda about the challenges of building (or rebuilding) lasting excellence.

For deeper dives on any topic, refer to segment timestamps and direct quotes above.