110 - The Past Times with Dorian DeBose

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds
Episode 110 - The Past Times with Dorian DeBose
Release Date: January 31, 2025

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Introduction

In Episode 110 of The Dollop, hosts Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by special guest Dorian DeBose to delve into a fascinating slice of history derived from an old Burbank, California newspaper dated January 3, 1918. The trio navigates through amusing anecdotes, historical quirks, and unexpected events that paint a vivid picture of early 20th-century life in Burbank.

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1. The Burbank City Seal Controversy

Timestamp: 09:00 - 13:02

The episode kicks off with a peculiar news piece about the Burbank City Clerk, Mr. Webster, addressing an urgent need to redesign the city's official seal. The existing seal, intended to depict a cantaloupe on a field of cantaloupes, is criticized for resembling a pumpkin more than a melon.

• Dave Anthony remarks humorously, “[...] Every city should have a Jose and pumpkin.”

• Gareth Reynolds adds, “...it looks like a watermelon,” emphasizing the glaring mismatch between the intended and actual representation.

The discussion highlights the often trivial yet amusing challenges municipalities face in establishing their identities. The hosts and Dorian humorously debate the significance of such a design flaw, questioning the importance of cantaloupes in Burbank’s identity.

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2. The Gas Leak and Explosion Incident

Timestamp: 15:00 - 21:20

Transitioning from agricultural confusion, the podcast covers a dramatic incident where two individuals, Pete Williams and James Campbell, face a tragic explosion caused by a gas leak and a mishandled match.

• Dave Anthony narrates, “The discharge of the gun was immediately followed by a more terrific explosion which came from the tin box.”

• Gareth Reynolds quips, “They gave me the life,” transforming the grim news into dark humor.

The conversation underscores the dangers of gas leaks and the often misguided attempts to detect them, blending historical recounting with the hosts' signature comedic flair.

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3. The Bunko Artist Scam

Timestamp: 21:34 - 30:43

A lighter, albeit still concerning, story emerges about scam activities in Burbank. The article details incidents where individuals were duped into giving money through deceitful promises.

• Gareth Reynolds shares a personal anecdote, “I was at Denny's... this guy came up to our table... asked for $20 to fix his bus.”

• Dorian DeBose responds, “You gotta abide by the rule of threes,” referencing their merchandise and escalating humor.

The hosts discuss the frequency and triviality of scams, reflecting on their own experiences and the timeless nature of such deceit.

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4. Mary Luzewski’s Desperate Offer

Timestamp: 35:33 - 56:28

The centerpiece of the episode is the heart-wrenching yet bizarre story of Mary Luzewski, a 19-year-old skirt shirt maker from Frackville, Pennsylvania, who offers herself in marriage for $9,000 to save her family's debts.

• Dave Anthony explains, “Mary had become a heroine, a person of discussion outside Frackville as well as on its streets.”

• Gareth Reynolds humorously laments, “...that duck egg is like zombie egg.”

• Dorian DeBose adds poignantly, “She had seven younger brothers and sisters whom she was helping to support.”

The trio explores the societal pressures and economic hardships that led Mary to such an extreme measure. They dissect the cultural context, gender dynamics, and the role of the press in shaping public perception, all while interjecting their trademark humor and commentary.

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5. Additional News Highlights and Humorous Interludes

Timestamp: 56:28 - 67:55

Throughout the episode, the hosts touch upon various other news snippets, including:

• Pickled Eggs and Cultural Delicacies: A humorous debate about century-old eggs served at a banquet, comparing them to modern delicacies and poking fun at preservation methods.

• Scams and Personal Stories: Personal anecdotes about being scammed for trivial amounts, reinforcing the recurring theme of deception and gullibility.

• Reflections on Policing and Justice: Commentary on the justice system, particularly concerning the misidentification and treatment of individuals by law enforcement.

These segments are interwoven with witty exchanges, providing levity while maintaining engagement with the historical narratives.

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Conclusion

As the episode wraps up, Dave, Gareth, and Dorian reflect on the discussed stories, blending laughter with thoughtful insights. They promote Dorian DeBose’s upcoming show, Evil Shark Tank, and sign off with information about their tour dates and personal promotions.

Notable Quotes:

• Dave Anthony (09:00): “Every city should have a Jose and pumpkin.”

• Gareth Reynolds (12:00): “Do you think this is pumpkin city?”

• Gareth Reynolds (15:14): “All right, we know which kind it was.”

• Dave Anthony (21:34): “I gave away the most money in the history of California from a bank teller.”

• Dorian DeBose (35:25): “He completely gave up.”

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Key Takeaways:

• Historical Quirks: Even minor details like a city seal can reveal much about a community's identity and priorities.

• Human Folly: From gas leaks to scams, human errors and deceit are timeless elements that shape societal narratives.

• Societal Pressures: Mary Luzewski’s story exemplifies the extreme measures individuals might take under economic and familial pressure.

• Humor as a Lens: The hosts effectively use humor to dissect and discuss serious historical events, making them accessible and engaging.

For those who haven’t listened to the episode, this summary provides a glimpse into the blend of history, comedy, and personal anecdotes that The Dollop is celebrated for.

Transcript

[Dave Anthony]

We're going on tour. And this is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's been a while.

[Dave Anthony]

March 2025 is when our tour is happening. First of all, we're going to Tempe, Arizona, maybe our favorite city of all time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the best.

[Dave Anthony]

That is on March 16th. And then we go to Albuquerque, New Mexico, maybe our favorite city ever, we've ever gone to. That's on March 17th. And then we go to Oklahoma City.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which is our fav. We often say that it's our number one.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's our number one. The best city I've ever been to. That's on March 18th. On March 19th, we're going to be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In Tulsa, Oklahoma, our favorite city, without question.

[Dave Anthony]

And then we head to Dallas, Texas on March 20th.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Our favorite city.

[Dave Anthony]

There's never been a better city.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you don't like it, you're a Dallas hole.

[Dave Anthony]

Thank you. And then we go to Houston, Texas, on March 21. City, which is by far the best city. And then we end our tour in Austin, Texas on March 22nd at the Cap City Comedy Club.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the best city in the entire world. Number one city in the world.

[Dave Anthony]

You can get tickets@dollar podcast.com tour.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, everybody, welcome to the Past Times podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds and. And I've never seen it before. And neither is our guest this week, the great Doria DeBose. What's up, Dorian? Welcome back to the show.

[Dorian DeBose]

Hello. It's good to be here. Thank you all so much for having me. It's good to see your beautiful faces. Good to see your beautiful cat painting behind you. It's. It's audio medium, but I think that it really established the aesthetic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a Patreon. There's a Patreon. And very good opening from you. Very, very good ego wise from. For us. That was great.

[Dorian DeBose]

Thank you. I've been working on. I'm trying to get on sports radio.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh. So. Oh, well, you really blew that now because that feels like you're just practicing on us. So we're just the hand you're kissing on before the date.

[Dorian DeBose]

Listen, everybody. Everybody needs to get them reps up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Garrus, did you raise your voice at us? Don't you raise your voice, Dorian. You're hilarious. I met you in Kansas City. You now live in New York and you were telling. What is the show you have now? It sounds awesome. It sounds so right up the dollop people's alley. Even though this is the pastimes. What is it?

[Dorian DeBose]

It's called Evil Shark Tank and it's exactly what it sounds like. We have some fledgling evil businessmen who are going to come on the pot on the show. It's a live show. They're going to pitch their truly, truly despicable ideas to a group of dastardly business professionals in hopes of receiving funding that'll be game changing for the them and worse for the world. Oh, great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who are you? Are you one of the Sharks?

[Dorian DeBose]

I am one of the Sharks. I'm not going to be one of the people who are judging the pitches.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dorian DeBose]

But I have my own evil business that I will be plugging a lot during the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, great. Okay, well, great. Where can people find out info on that? What's the best thing to do?

[Dorian DeBose]

So you can follow me on Instagram at verbosedebose or you can follow the show's Instagram at Evil Shark Tank.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, great. All right, great. Well, that's great. That's. We love that because we're huge Shark Tank fans. There's nothing we like more here at this show than watching the dreams of a Midwestern couple get ripped apart and shit on by billionaires who don't deserve it and shouldn't exist.

[Dorian DeBose]

No 100%. It's kind of heartwarming sometimes to see somebody knock down a peg they never were on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like when they've had a little bit to drink. Like someone's brought in like some wine to pitch and they don't buy it, but they drink a ton of it. And then the next person that comes on, they're just like a joke. They're just drunk and rich and it's like, yeah, your whole life's been leading up to this. But guess what? Mr. Wonderful had a whole bottle of chardonnay for free.

[Dorian DeBose]

I think it's fun whenever, like, you can tell that there was an argument afterwards. Like Mark Cuban and Kevin O'Leary seem like they do not like each other actually.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think a lot of people don't like Kevin O'Leary. He just seems like a awful to everybody.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's really sort of started to come out of his shell as the Bezosian billionaire who has no clue about actual working or workers. He was on something I saw this week. Talk. I just love watching rich people talk about the CEO shooting.

[Dorian DeBose]

Oh, it's so great fetish.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like, it's so to just be like, why are people happy?

[Dorian DeBose]

They see themselves as like an oppressed class they're like they're coming after the most vulnerable amongst us.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we're helping you.

[Dorian DeBose]

I spend so much on private security, and this is how you treat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How you treat me, man. How do you do?

[Dave Anthony]

This is someone who gives you all your jobs and happiness.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, you still are able to breathe through the boot upon your throat a touch.

[Dorian DeBose]

We don't let most of you die.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, man, it's so good. I can't help. And then we'll start. I can't help but think, man, if one more got taken out right now, what would that even look like? The. The steroids.

[Dave Anthony]

That this moment would go on be crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It'd be so good.

[Dave Anthony]

As we say here at the podcast, just do two.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just do two. We've been saying just. We sell merch that is like the Nike logo, and it says, just do one, and it's little pictures of billionaires. So we've been saying, just do one for a while. And now they did one, and now.

[Dorian DeBose]

We'Re like, just ratchet up a little bit. Just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just do six. All right.

[Dorian DeBose]

You gotta abide by the rule of threes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree. It's funny. So much funnier. You know, we're gonna go through this old newspaper. You get to guess first what year you think this paper is gonna be from. This is what separates this podcast from the Dollop, which is a very large success. This is not that.

[Dave Anthony]

But winner gets my SAG after membership.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nobody wants that.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Dorian's in. So guess a year. It could be 1600s. Unlikely. Could be up to 2000. I doubt it. But please, it's your guess.

[Dorian DeBose]

Let's go with. Let's go. 1891.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's very good. It's a very good guess. Dorian, not gonna. Lady. It's a very good guess. It's a very good guess. But unfortunately, I don't believe it's 1891. As I look at Dave's weak ass. What are you doing, Face? Shut up. I'm talking. I think this paper is from the year.

[Dave Anthony]

It's 1828. You were right. You were the closest. Dorian. Well done. I love. Yep. Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't even understand ways for the.

[Dorian DeBose]

People who are not watching on the Patreon. I'm doing a little dance.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're watching on the Patreon.

[Dave Anthony]

Welcome to Saga.

[Dorian DeBose]

Watching on the Patreon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now we're in sag. This is crazy. It's crazy. All right, 1824, you said, David.

[Dave Anthony]

That's correct.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, let's see what was happening in the greatest country of all time in 18.

[Dave Anthony]

So this is Burbank, California.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dorian DeBose]

We were out there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was gonna say flappers there. Flappers was just regular flappers. Everyone was just dressed the same, like normal. What's the hook of this establishment?

[Dave Anthony]

The Burbank Daily evening review. 1-3-1918.Daily evening review. Daily evening. Get them all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Meaning it's a double edition covering in the day.

[Dorian DeBose]

In the evening.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dorian DeBose]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So what time does a paper like this go out? Midnight.

[Dave Anthony]

It goes out at 12 noon and 12 midnight.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't think you have any idea what you're talking about.

[Dorian DeBose]

I've just learned that they had enough people out there to have a newspaper, and now they have enough people to have two newspapers a day.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I guarantee you one of two things. This information is going to be trash and. Or very little is going to be from Burbank. They're going to be like, here it is. The Burbank News. The first story is out of Chicago.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I can tell you that's not. Not true about the first. The first story.

[Dorian DeBose]

Sorry, you got. That was a second story. Garrett. You got it. Next time.

[Dave Anthony]

Cantaloupe that resembles punkin is Burbeck's seal. Plea goes out for a new one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, I did say that the news is either going to be dog shit or it's not going to be from there.

[Dave Anthony]

And this is from there. And this is not dog shit. This is serious business.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A cantaloupe.

[Dave Anthony]

A cantaloupe that resembles animal is on the Burbank seal. No, the city seal. The little round. That's what I thought first when I read it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It brings up the point that every city should have a seal. And that's a great pun.

[Dave Anthony]

Absolutely. Every city should have a Jose and pumpkin. It says the cantaloupe resembles a pumpkin on the seal. And punkin is spelled P U N K I N Punkin. Let's get into the story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's kind of what the seal is. It's a pumpkin.

[Dave Anthony]

In the opinion of City Clerk Webster, as expressed at the meeting of the Change of Commerce Board last week, Burbank is sadly in need of a new design as an official seal for the city. The present seal is supposed to represent a large cantaloupe on a field of cantaloupes, but in reality looks more like a pumpkin than a melon.

[Dorian DeBose]

According to Mr. Webster, they just became a city, dude. Why are they so particular already? Oh, it looks too much like a pumpkin. Nobody in this country, dude. There wasn't even pictures back then. You don't know what a pumpkin is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's very true that nobody was like, nobody gave a. Also, I, as someone who's lived in Burbank, never, ever in my time there was like, this is cantaloupe town.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you think this is pumpkin city?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you think? Get out of here. That's Glendale, you idiot.

[Dave Anthony]

It was. Can. It was all about people. When you think of Burbank, you think cantaloupes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, that's.

[Dorian DeBose]

That's not even, like, a top 10 thing. I think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not even top 50. I don't think I've ever thought of the two together.

[Dorian DeBose]

I don't think there's 50 things that come to mind when you say Burbank to me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's a really fair point. I think that's a very fair point.

[Dorian DeBose]

Isn't on that list, like, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you.

[Dorian DeBose]

I'd probably have seven things that come to mind when I think of Burbank.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And not one of them is my life depended on it, and I needed to say 50 things synonymous with Burbank in five minutes. I think I'd die.

[Dorian DeBose]

Oh, I know I'd die.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think I would die.

[Dorian DeBose]

I'm not. Yeah, I'm. I'm spending three minutes trying the two minutes calling my mom up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm going. I said that Quiznos, right? And they're like, yeah, you said that twice. Okay.

[Dorian DeBose]

I'm banking on there being multiple McDonald's. I've never been.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you never. Oh, buddy, you gotta hit the big city.

[Dorian DeBose]

You gotta go to Potomac.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You sag now, baby.

[Dorian DeBose]

There is a Still a cantaloupe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It looks like a watermelon.

[Dorian DeBose]

They weren't even incorporated until a century later.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, they were not even incorporated. And looking at it, it looks so much more like a watermelon than a pumpkin.

[Dave Anthony]

It does not look anything like a pumpkin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it doesn't look like a cantaloupe.

[Dave Anthony]

It doesn't look like a cantaloupe because cantaloupes are more rounded. This is like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It does not look like a cantaloupe. It looks like a watermelon.

[Dorian DeBose]

Cantaloupe has, like, a pattern to it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's got a little. It's. Yeah, it's a little. It's got bumpy. It's a little Braille. Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, that's garbage. Yeah. Whoever. I mean, they're right. Like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But Dorian's also right that. What are they doing? You're not even a place yet. And they're like, this was a century.

[Dorian DeBose]

Before they were incorporated.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's just like you. You just laid the foundation of your house and you're like, what throw pillows are we going to have?

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, Burbeck had some really bad city seals. Just so. Just history wise, they did not improve. Anyway, back to the story. Mr. Webster says that the seal was adopted at a time when the chief industry of the city was the raising of cantaloupes. We all. That's what we remember Burbank as. That's fair.

[Dorian DeBose]

That's. That's got to be a top like 105 thing about Burbank.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is a weird way to put it too, though. Raising it is weird.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, that's how you do. That's how you do, pumpkin.

[Dorian DeBose]

You raise cantaloupe.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, cantaloupes. You cantaloupes are raised.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's a good boy, but he's. I followed him with a bad group of melons lately, but he's a good kid. He's a good kid.

[Dave Anthony]

He's fallen in with the honeydews and.

[Dorian DeBose]

Not a step. Cantaloupe farmer. I'm the cantaloupe farmer that stepped up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, buddy, you want to get high? I don't know. I'm supposed to go back to the farm, mister. All right.

[Dorian DeBose]

Stay away from old Johnny Honeydew down by the track, son.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You want to make a little money? Let me scoop you. You ever been scooped by an old man?

[Dorian DeBose]

You know, it's really important. These cantaloupe farmers just warn their cantaloupe children about the dangers of men with melon ballers on the street.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah, no, yeah, it's a big, big problem.

[Dorian DeBose]

Yeah. Super dangerous.

[Dave Anthony]

It was pointed out that the new city charter provides for the adoption of a new city seal. And according to Mr. Webster, occasional attempts have been made in the past to select a new design for seal. But those upon whom the duty devolved have been unable to reach an agreement as to the nature of the design. The matter was referred to the Public Affairs Committee.

[Dorian DeBose]

Do you ever think about how we could probably have high speed rail in this country if these weren't the people in charge for the last 200 years?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The high speed rail we talk about a lot. Yeah, it's really, it's really the barometer for like, do we care at this point? And, and yeah, when you watch what's happening, you're just like. I remember we were driving back from shows once and we just saw, in order to pretend and fabricate the image of lush green around the freeway, we just saw these guys spray painting Concrete green. And it, like, filled us with such dystopian misery that we were like, me. It was like 98 degrees in September. A guy's like, hey, let's pray green. That'll be nice. And you're like, just save that money.

[Dorian DeBose]

But we can't afford the water. But we already got the paint.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we got the paint.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's no water and paint.

[Dave Anthony]

Search for gas with lighted match.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've been to this party.

[Dave Anthony]

What do you think happens? Do you think it goes fine? Well, first of all, it's a new. It's a story in. In the paper, so it probably didn't end well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great point.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep. Yep.

[Dorian DeBose]

I'm taking a swing. I think it went great.

[Dave Anthony]

I think it went great this time.

[Dorian DeBose]

I think this is the one time we searched for gas with a lighted match and we found gas. That's the end of the story. It's a quick, cool story, that plan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Get that lighter going. We'll go find some gas for you.

[Dorian DeBose]

It's going to be so funny that somebody probably got blown up. And it was only second to the cantaloupe story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. And that somebody was probably also, like, did he find it?

[Dorian DeBose]

Yeah. That's going to be the final words.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

If you. If you light a match and you're looking for gas, that means you think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That you could see it.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, that it's. No, that it's gonna catch fire a little bit, so you'll know that it's there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, okay. I thought. Right. Well, probably in my head, I was picturing, like, a dark room, and they're like, yeah, supposed to be some near there.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's what I thought at first, too. But no, I think that they were thinking, like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're thinking like, it'll.

[Dave Anthony]

It'll light. It'll light a little bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So they're aware.

[Dave Anthony]

There it is. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, they're aware of the properties of petroleum.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure. Or maybe they. Maybe they think they can't see it. I could be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you're right. Either way, it's very dumb.

[Dorian DeBose]

Carbon monoxide. They could be checking to see, like, if it's a gas that won't keep the flame.

[Gareth Reynolds]

True. Oh.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, it'll keep. Well, it'll keep the flame. And also it won't keep the flame. It's kind of. You could. You could describe it either way. Looking for a gas leak with a match. Produced an explosion yesterday morning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, we know which kind it was.

[Dave Anthony]

Cool.

[Dorian DeBose]

I'm sorry for giving them too much credit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Way too much.

[Dave Anthony]

Which Said Pete Williams and James Campbell of 159 South Olive Avenue.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We don't. They do the address thing all the time. They're dead now. We don't need their home address.

[Dave Anthony]

No, no, no, no, no, no. We do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Why wouldn't we?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Does it saying that they blew? They, like, flew away with the explosion.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

So it sent to the hospital with some bad burns and wrecked the house in which they were living. The explosion took place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They gave the address for a house that no longer exists.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, there might be parts of it there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dorian DeBose]

They gave me a. Just for a foundation of a house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean you.

[Dorian DeBose]

Vacant lot for sale.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Full of gas.

[Dorian DeBose]

We know that now.

[Dave Anthony]

Can confirm the explosion took place at 8:00. 8:30 o'clock. That's a new way to put it. Williams was in the kitchen trying to repair a leak in the gas stove. And Camel coming into the room while the repairing was in progress, proceeded to shed some light on the subject by striking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's he doing?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, let me help you out. I think that it just takes one more on. Well, they might. It might have been. It might have been like the guy's repairing something he couldn't see. I think it's actually that the one guy was lighting a match to help him see.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. But the other guy was probably like, hey, no, that's gas. But he was like, hey, you need a nurse, I got you.

[Dorian DeBose]

One of those guys had to have known, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think the guy looking was like, what are you talking. That's crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dorian DeBose]

That's no bonding, man. Like, you just. It is repairing some gas and you're just like, I gotta help him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A bro needs a bro.

[Dorian DeBose]

Thank you for letting me in your home.

[Dave Anthony]

That the room had become well filled with escaping gas was indicated by the terrific explosion.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great use of terrific. Great use of terrific.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow. You just did a lot of noises, by the way. Your phone went off. You hit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's life in America. It go. It says health care. And I'm like, what in the. Does that even mean?

[Dorian DeBose]

They got another.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello. Oh, thank God. Aetna's down.

[Dave Anthony]

The roof and sides of the house were blown out and the windows shattered. Both men were blown out with the walls. Campbell being carried a distance of 25ft.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. That's full on. Like, that's like. That's real.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's movie. That's movie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. So I was gonna say that's like Bruce Willis explosion.

[Dave Anthony]

A fire alarm was sent in and the companies from stations One and two responded. The fire, however, had spent itself with the explosion and did no further damage.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Tried itself out a little bit.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Both men were badly burned about the face and head and the arms and were carried.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Upper body's fine.

[Dave Anthony]

Hospital.

[Dorian DeBose]

Yeah, better. Better body. Better upper body than leg.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Upper. Yeah. You think? I don't know. I can't.

[Dorian DeBose]

I feel like if you're going to have to burn me here to, like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I agree.

[Dorian DeBose]

Like, it's a torso activity.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, if you must. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

The. The Campbell was the worst of the two, but it was not considerable.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Was the one who didn't light the match. Right. So he got it worse.

[Dave Anthony]

No, he's the guy who lit the match.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, good. That's good. Good, that's good.

[Dave Anthony]

Neither seemed to be considered fatal. The house was badly wrecked. I mean, we got that from the. The walls being blown out in the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So a guy lit a match and blew up an entire house. Two guys almost died. And the lead story was like, that cantaloupe looks like a pumpkin.

[Dorian DeBose]

Listen, people get blown up every single day, Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

True.

[Dorian DeBose]

Every single day, some guy has a match and some room, has some heels.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And some gas, we don't even hear about it anymore. It happens so often, dude.

[Dorian DeBose]

That happened to my neighbor the other day. We're like, stop being soldiers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I did it today, dude.

[Dorian DeBose]

It's every day. It's every day and it's everywhere. But, like, a cantaloupe that looks like a pumpkin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That doesn't even look like a pumpkin.

[Dorian DeBose]

That's. That's preposterous.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't even think they knew what a pumpkin looked like. If you see that cantaloupe, it's not a pumpkin.

[Dorian DeBose]

There was some guy who said, that cantaloupe looks like a pumpkin, and nobody wanted to look stupid, so they just started nodding.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's true. And flappers are still there.

[Dave Anthony]

50 cents gone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, shoot.

[Dave Anthony]

Not 50 cents. 50 cents.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Curtis Jackson. Oh, okay.

[Dave Anthony]

The police were called upon to investigate the manipulations of an alleged bunko artist operating in the city.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bunko.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm a bunko guy. The first came from Ms. George Desimmons, 818 Edlo Avenue, who told the officers that she had given a young man $3 in payment for a 2.50 magazine, and the man had promised to bring back the change, but never showed up again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

24. A magazine cost 250.

[Dave Anthony]

It's 1928.

[Dorian DeBose]

Oh, we thought this was 1828.

[Dave Anthony]

No, I said you were. I said you.

[Dorian DeBose]

You won, but not that Changes everything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That changes a lot.

[Dorian DeBose]

That changed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The whole Burbank seal is totally different now.

[Dorian DeBose]

Okay, we're cooking with gas now. Yeah, unfortunately, we're cooking with gas, and things are going poorly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're bad.

[Dave Anthony]

Sorry, I confused you guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I was. I mean, 250 for a magazine is still. Seems a little extreme for back then, but the economy was about to crash, so it's fit.

[Dave Anthony]

That's $55.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it's airport prices. 55.

[Dave Anthony]

3 bucks. $55.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And she's upset about, like, $10.

[Dave Anthony]

That's crazy.

[Dorian DeBose]

I'll pay 45 for a magazine, but 55.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, I want my suckers weekly.

[Dorian DeBose]

That's LA prices. This is burpees.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is Burbank. There's a bridge, kinda. Wow, That's a lot of money. That is a lot of money.

[Dorian DeBose]

That's exorbitant. I do. I'd be mad if somebody scammed me for $10.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

All right. I know. You know, I've been scamper. 10 bucks. And I've been like, whatever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I. That's how I. I feel like there's times in my life where I've been scammed. I got scammed. Scammed for $20 once. This is crazy. I was out at Denny's with a group of my buddies, and this guy came up to me and he. He came up to our table, and he goes, I'm Jodeci's tour manager. And he goes, and the bus broke down. I swear to God. I swear to God.

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I swear to God. And he goes, the bus broke down and we need $20.

[Dave Anthony]

What? And I. I mean, it's almost so good. I'd be like, okay, here you go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I had the money out before any of my friends could be like, are you brain damaged? I was like, there you go. And then as I was handing it to him, I was like, this story. I mean, I was like, 15, but as the money was in his hand, I was like, this story is not. I was like, there's no $20 to get the Jodeci torque kicking back up. Does not seem possible. And then they left. And all my friends like, are you okay? I was like, well, it might be. They were like, no, no, no.

[Dorian DeBose]

You know, there's another podcast going on where, like, Jodeci's tour manager is talking, and, like, yeah, one day we met, like, this kid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Tell you what. I really need to tell you what.

[Dorian DeBose]

Let's get that bus fixed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That 1990 tour tour almost didn't happen, but we went to A Denny's on Port Washington Road in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. This guy got us back on track.

[Dorian DeBose]

I don't know that kid's name, but if I could, I would shake his head.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But it. See, I remember that $20. And I was like, that hurt. That hurt a lot.

[Dave Anthony]

That's at that age. That's a lot of money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A lot of money.

[Dorian DeBose]

Yeah. At my age is also a lot of money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

When I worked at Staples center, you know, I would come out after the games when everything was, you know, the parking lots were empty and stuff. And there was always a guy out there who'd walk up with a battery and be like, hey, our battery died. And it was, you know, it's like, it's like 11 or 12 at night. More battery died. We just need. I just need some money. We got to get a new battery. And I would just laugh because he'd ask me. Like, I'd see him, like, every three games. He'd come up to me like, you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Know what I thought you were gonna say was that he had, like a jump box and he would walk around and charge people like 200 for a jump. Because I was like, surely some people.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, oh, yeah, that's a good idea, actually.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a good idea.

[Dave Anthony]

This is pre jump box, kid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I gotta go.

[Dave Anthony]

You walk around with a battery?

[Dorian DeBose]

Yeah, I remember, like, I have been. I haven't necessarily been scammed, but, like, somebody tried to scam me from money or amount of money. I found so trivial that I was like, if you really need this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, So I mean, I've done that where I'm like, yeah, you really need.

[Dave Anthony]

It a lot more than I do at this point. If you're.

[Dorian DeBose]

Yeah, like, it was like one grinder. This guy was like, I need like, $5 for, like, gas to come over. And I was like, I'm gonna send you five and don't come over.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If.

[Dorian DeBose]

You are that broke. I don't want it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is the greatest. The grinder gas scam is. Hey, man, you're a little out of the normal zone that I'll go for D. You might. Can you have fiverr?

[Dorian DeBose]

Like, if you ask me for 20, I'm like, this might be a scam. Yeah, when you asked me for five legit. This is a scam. But you. You need this.

[Dave Anthony]

But I know you're such a bad scammer. Hey, man, can I get like, 2.87?

[Dorian DeBose]

I'll give you the dub this week.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that's awesome. Me. That's cool.

[Dave Anthony]

That's really great. 30 day sentence. Charles Cummings was taken before Judge Gray this morning and given a sentence of 30 days in the county jail on a charge of just peace disturbance. The prosecuting witness were Mr. And Mrs. Fisher. The peace disturbance is alleged to have been in the nature of loud defensive language.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow.

[Dave Anthony]

No, but 30 days, wow, that's pretty talking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. For swearing. That would. Yeah, that would be. There's a lot of people I know would go down.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Me just now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I would go to jail several times a day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, yes.

[Dorian DeBose]

Honestly, I really. I gotta know what he said.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would love to know.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. I mean, you got to get a C word in there if you're gonna go to jail for 30.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't think you do if you're going to jail for that. It probably. It probably. I'm not saying it was like an accurate, but it's probably like fairly.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it probably was nothing. Yeah, yeah.

[Dorian DeBose]

But gee, mister, you're no gentleman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I ought to piss on your boot. That's it.

[Dave Anthony]

Ye.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're going to jail, kid. If he just said cock a lot.

[Dorian DeBose]

Like, we're giving you the life.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. What you cocks? You cocks don't know nothing. You wouldn't know a cock if it slapped you with a cock and it had a cock attached to it. You.

[Dorian DeBose]

The police have their guns already drawn.

[Dave Anthony]

Somebody stop him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I saw this video of this guy who outran the cops and then stopped outrunning the cops and lay down and he completely gave up. And then they tased him. I, on Instagram wrote like, something like, wow, they're out of control or something like that. And then like, just saw before we started, this guy commented and he just goes, it's so obviously fake crying emoji. And I was like, people who think that these people are staging this, it's like, we have plenty of evidence.

[Dorian DeBose]

That's the thing. Like, I hate it when, like, somebody is like, that's not real. And then like, you can find like the police report and.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or you're just like, all right, I'll find another time. When they taste someone when they shouldn't have. There you go. That one.

[Dave Anthony]

Of course cops are gonna tase you if you made them run.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of course. Well, this guy, this guy showboated him. This guy completely.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Then they're gonna tase him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah.

[Dorian DeBose]

It's. It's illegal to be. It's illegal to stunt on the cops, dude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My buddy in high school, we talked. We. He. We were running away from the cops after a party. And we got to this woods, like, the woods. And we got into the woods and we're completely outrunning this female cop. And she just goes, hold it right there. As we were like losing her. And my buddy stopped, turned around, and he goes, what are you going to do? And then we took off. And then the older I get, the more I'm like, different time. That was.

[Dorian DeBose]

I don't. Why. Why was her being a female cop relevant to the story?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a fact.

[Dorian DeBose]

The man that viewer just like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I outran male cops.

[Dorian DeBose]

We outran this black cop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would never. I mean, I would never.

[Dorian DeBose]

I know you would never.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm staying out of this conversation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was a Chinese cop. Yeah.

[Dorian DeBose]

Me and my friend were out running this Chinese lady cop. And then never comes up again.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm out running this. This Italian cop. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that. I said that I had that a joke for a minute where I would say on stage like, that, I'm not saying my family in England was racist, but there's a lot of times where we'll get halfway through a story and I'll go, does it matter that this guy was Asian? It just felt like a weird little detail that's not gonna come back, right?

[Dorian DeBose]

No, just a little Easter egg.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Just a little. Yeah.

[Dorian DeBose]

Just paint a little picture.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. For some reason. That's okay. There you go. Good.

[Dave Anthony]

Boy and gun. Badly injured eye.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no, not a gun.

[Dave Anthony]

Boy and gun and badly injured eye. Okay. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the recipe.

[Dave Anthony]

Pierce Shibley, 13 year old son of Mr. And Mrs. A.P. shibley Pierce.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

1051 North.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A bullet goes into his eye and his name's Pierce.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Dorian DeBose]

Pierce Shipley. Shoots. I just leave it there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. We're done.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Came near starting out the new year yesterday by losing an eye.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

The attending physician says that the saving of the sight of the eye was a matter of a hair's breadth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Doesn't make any sense.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, he. I think he was just a hair away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Makes sense.

[Dorian DeBose]

Or he was away from losing his sight.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Have you never seen a hair breathe?

[Gareth Reynolds]

A hair breathing? Oh, unless it's like a rabbit. It's not a good joke, but it's a great point.

[Dave Anthony]

It wasn't. It's not. It's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

I wouldn't have said it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

And that. Pierce and his friend Gordon Johnson had started out with a.22 caliber rifle for a little sport in the hills. On reaching the new reservoir, they picked up a small tin box and put it up For a target standing over the box. So he's standing. Standing up over the box. So he's standing over it. So it's stupid.

[Dorian DeBose]

So he's standing over a box instead.

[Dave Anthony]

Of putting it, like on a tree or whatever. Away.

[Dorian DeBose]

He's pointing straight.

[Dave Anthony]

Straight down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, straight down. He built out himself.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The self.

[Dave Anthony]

And he pulled the trigger. The discharge of the gun was immediately followed by a more terrific explosion which came from the tin box.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Terrific preceding explosion. This often is great.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. It developed that the box contained some dynamite. Caps.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are just a touch off. A terrific explosion. It developed that didn't really.

[Dorian DeBose]

I love how that's. That's such a good reveal.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Dorian DeBose]

Like, news articles now are, like, so direct that, like, you don't get, like, those little details peppered throughout to just really paint the scene.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like how a video. Now they'll show you the good part. They're so desperate for you to stick around. It's so much better to unfurl. The fact that the box was dynamiting is dynamite.

[Dorian DeBose]

Yeah. Because that's like. Now we know his friend successfully hit the box.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dorian DeBose]

I thought his friend just, like, fucked up and shot all this was a Dick Cheney situation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

No, he. He hit the box and the box went boom. I just like that. There's a box laying around in a field that's full of dynamite caps.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's.

[Dave Anthony]

That's fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, strange in America, countries where we fought wars. Not strange.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Dorian DeBose]

Actually, quite common.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Quite regular for a child to be kicking a missile.

[Dave Anthony]

Gareth. Do you mean everywhere else?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll get back to you because I don't have a pushback as of yet.

[Dorian DeBose]

We have fought Canada.

[Dave Anthony]

We've invaded Canada. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Since we became so good at weapons.

[Dorian DeBose]

Oh, yeah. We gotta run it back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I'm right. Well, I tell you what feels.

[Dorian DeBose]

They burned down Washington in 1812. I think they didn't know what you got.

[Dave Anthony]

Now go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, it's time. They're like, what's this all about? 1812.

[Dorian DeBose]

The south remembers.

[Dave Anthony]

Just. Just when you. Just when you got all comfortable.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That'd be a great war to set the south on. Listen, go. Go do that.

[Dave Anthony]

By the way. By the way, the south does remember, and they need to let it go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

The cap or caps exploded. A small portion of the copper from the exploded cap struck the lad's left eyeball.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Boink.

[Dave Anthony]

Well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What'S that?

[Dorian DeBose]

The boink in the article?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. No, you're one word short.

[Dorian DeBose]

I subscribe to that paper now. If it Point this nigga's eye 100 years ago.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The doctor, he's been boinked.

[Dorian DeBose]

Talking to Pierce's parents just like. I'm sorry, but his eyes been boinked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Medically speaking, your boy suffered a catastrophic boink. But from a terrific explosion.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, that's how we made him in the first place, Doc. Oh, boy. Oh, we have fun. So what does that mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, we need $20 to get the surgery back on track.

[Dorian DeBose]

That's a whole. That's a whole year salary.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I understand. Well, listen, it's pretty much the price of four magazines.

[Dave Anthony]

This is just a little sentence.

[Gareth Reynolds]

These are my favorite.

[Dave Anthony]

A banquet at the Zoological Society of Ireland. Eggs set from China 50 years ago were served and pronounced delicious.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh my God. Every word of that.

[Dave Anthony]

That didn't happen, bro.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop.

[Dave Anthony]

That did not happen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop.

[Dorian DeBose]

Do we know what kind of egg?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, that's a.

[Dave Anthony]

See well, is Al. Gareth would say just telling you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just important.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Egg was Chinese.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. What kind of egg would it be?

[Dorian DeBose]

Was it real? It was Chinese. Was it. Was it relevant?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What did the egg look like? What? A Chinese egg.

[Dorian DeBose]

How'd you know the egg was Chinese? Well, you know, it was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was.

[Dorian DeBose]

It's. Yeah, I just look at it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't think we're allowed to do this report any further. I don't know. I. I just know that I've seen footage of like sometimes you'll get a fish that they've buried that's 150 years old. So in like Japan or something, that's like a delicacy. So maybe this egg is a. You know, maybe they figured out a way to eat super old eggs. I mean, I've been to bars in England and I've seen eggs in some sort of formaldehyde that people are still eating. Could be pickled.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, but England is a terrible, disturbing place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on.

[Dorian DeBose]

Yeah. They wouldn't pronounce it delicious if it was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They would declare it.

[Dorian DeBose]

Yeah, they would. They would have somebody declare it. Nobody would be allowed to disagree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not true. You guys are really on another. Listen, I'm made of two countries and they're both legacy wise. Real good. Real good spots. I'm lucky.

[Dave Anthony]

If not man wanted to get free return. If not wanted. Wait. If not man wanted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, boy.

[Dave Anthony]

If not man wanted. Oh, okay. If not man wanted to get free return. Okay, so if he's not a wanted man, I think is what they're saying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, okay.

[Dave Anthony]

New York. A man describing himself as James Thomas of Hollywood, California. Ex Bootlegger. And now a grocery clerk has been brought here under an agreement which provides that he will receive apologies and his train fare home if he has been falsely arrested.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have to jump in. I'm really sorry. I know, I know. What's up with the century 100 year old eggs? What you guys want to know?

[Dave Anthony]

Did you look it up?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. So it's just a term, 50 years old? No, it's a duck egg. It's not actually 100 years old, but it takes several weeks or months to prepare through special preservation. And it's a mixture of clay, salt, ash, quick lime, and it looks like if Beetlejuice were an egg.

[Dorian DeBose]

Oh, yeah. It's like the black one, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

What? What? What?

[Dorian DeBose]

Yeah. So the officer of the egg was black and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Oh, my mother has just handed me. My mother. My mother listening from her quarters. No, Just handed me a note. English, just so you know, Dorian English handed me a note that reads, eggs are pickled, not in, quote, formaldehyde. Defending the honor of. Like you said, can't be wrong.

[Dorian DeBose]

Who. 7 million English people cannot be wrong about their despicable food.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know.

[Dave Anthony]

Is this. Is this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's true. And the food that they have there, that's good. Not from other countries. They're like, we invented Indian food. Where you think it came from? India.

[Dorian DeBose]

I will say I have a friend who just like spent like the last, like half a year traveling around Asia. And he did say that having tried a bunch of traditional Chinese food, it's way better here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know why it being Chinese food really matters to that story, but.

[Dorian DeBose]

Never. That's. My apologies. He was traveling and he said that the traditional food of the place that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was in seems a little unnecessary, to be quite honest.

[Dorian DeBose]

My. My apologies for bringing that detail into the story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's fine. It's whatever.

[Dave Anthony]

Now, did this same guy ask you for $5?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's interesting.

[Dorian DeBose]

He only asked me for 2 and 99. Actually just said I need one gallon. But then he didn't show up. I sent him my address and everything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's shocking. Happened to me with Jodeci.

[Dave Anthony]

I gotta say, I think I would rather die than eat one of these eggs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That duck egg is like zombie egg.

[Dave Anthony]

It is. The white part is black and then the yolk is grayish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it looks yellow. It looks. It looks like if an egg were.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In, like, filmed in Negative.

[Dorian DeBose]

I've heard they're great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have you?

[Dorian DeBose]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

I just can't imagine.

[Dorian DeBose]

I've heard they have a Very strong.

[Dave Anthony]

Has your mom. Has your mom had one, Gareth?

[Gareth Reynolds]

One of those? No, she was talking about, like, you go into a pub in England and, like, they've got those pickled eggs behind the bar.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, right.

[Dorian DeBose]

I've had a pickled egg.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I've had pickled eggs.

[Dave Anthony]

Pickled eggs just sound gross to me. Also.

[Dorian DeBose]

No, they're not good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See, this is where we're going to fight. I actually am okay with them.

[Dave Anthony]

This is like back to the boiled peanuts conversation.

[Dorian DeBose]

I mean, yeah, they know bangers and mash, mate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you've had pickled eggs in the pub. Mom, they're mainly in the fish and chip shops. Mainly in the fish and chip shops.

[Dave Anthony]

Fish and chip shops, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you've had one and it's good. It's nice.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. It's throwing a couple of eggs. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She said she would only eat one if she was drunk, so that's pretty much all English food.

[Dorian DeBose]

What wouldn't I eat if I was drunk?

[Gareth Reynolds]

True. Right, Fair.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I can tell you right now, century old eggs. Not drunk enough.

[Dorian DeBose]

Dude, slop them up.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, God.

[Dorian DeBose]

Oh, give me eight of the. With, like, some sausage, dude. Give me some blood sausage and some century old egg.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's one of those things. It's like if someone tells you it's a delicacy. Okay, you're in. If Adeli gave it to you, you'd be like, I can't eat here. This place needs to be shut down.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Okay, so this. This. I'll just start again. A man describing himself as James Thomas of Hollywood. Hollywood, ex bootlegger and now grocery clerk, has been brought here under an agreement which provides that he will receive apologies and his train fare home if he had been falsely arrested.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Right.

[Dave Anthony]

So he's going all the way to New York to see if he's been falsely arrested, which is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. Weird. Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

I think so. I think. I think the deal was, I will go with you if you pay for my trip back. That's what it sounds like.

[Dorian DeBose]

That's kind of. That kind of rips.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, but. But are they just paying for a train ticket or does he, like, get hotel rooms? Like, is it a. Is it a journey back? Like, this is a nice vacation back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He takes it. I'm too tired to travel any further today.

[Dave Anthony]

So here's. Here's my. I got my route. A couple days in Chicago.

[Gareth Reynolds]

38. Gotta get some of that deep dish. That's all they talk about.

[Dave Anthony]

Authorities believe Thomas is James Thomas Rush, a forger who embezzled 130,000 from a bank here in 1924.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's from Grocery clerk. He's from forger.

[Dave Anthony]

Who is a forger.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

So he wouldn't be a grocery clerk now if he. 130,000 is fucking. That's millions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's like eight magazines back then.

[Dorian DeBose]

See, I believe he's innocent just because, like, why would you. I wouldn't make the deal that you would send me back. That's such confidence. But also, he's a fraud.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was just. There are people who do that, though, where you're just like. There's People are like, I could show them.

[Dorian DeBose]

I've watched my dad one time say, if I'm lying, strike me dead. After he had just lied. And he was, like, driving a car, and I was like, I'm in here with you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There are sometimes. Yeah, like. And there are people sometimes, like. Like the guy who. Do you ever see the video? The guy who was, like, pleading not guilty, and then the judge read, like, for murder. And the judge read back the things he'd googled the night of the murder, and they just get so bad. It's just like, can you chop a body up and put it in the recycle bin? And the guy's just sitting there.

[Dorian DeBose]

Like, a guy can't. A guy can't be curious. The guy can't have a curious mind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Will bleach disintegrate a body?

[Dorian DeBose]

And he's like, a guy can't. Like science.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. What's wrong with. I like chemistry. It's my side thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I also like seeing if things fit in other things.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's a picture of an egg I like. I'm into old dying things. I'm a bit of a. Yeah.

[Dorian DeBose]

Oh, that would be so smart. Like, just Googling a bunch of weird alongside that for you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what we should do just to prep in case you ever want to murder someone. Get rid of it. Start now, just with random, weird Googles for now. Just crazy stuff. You eat dynamite. Just stuff where you're like, I'm a curious weirdo judge. And then they playing this podcast in court, and I'm like.

[Dorian DeBose]

It sucks that we can now never kill anybody because of this podcast.

[Dave Anthony]

I know, right?

[Dorian DeBose]

I mean, it's too incriminating.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we'll see. Thomas waved extradition with the stipulation that if New York witnesses could not identify him as Rush, he would be released with honors and given a free trip back to California. Okay. Having been. Having been held up when I. Back when I was a Bank teller.

[Dorian DeBose]

A long release a lot of time ago.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that true? What are you talking. Yeah, I got held up.

[Dave Anthony]

I got robbed twice as a bank teller.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gun.

[Dave Anthony]

I gave away the most money in the history of California from a bank teller.

[Dorian DeBose]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? I did not know that.

[Dave Anthony]

You didn't know that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shut up.

[Dave Anthony]

So.

[Dorian DeBose]

Why'D away the most?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The guy was like, that's enough. He's like, take the five.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, but you guys know me, right?

[Dorian DeBose]

I.

[Dave Anthony]

My money.

[Dorian DeBose]

I don't.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't give a. Yeah, yeah, it's.

[Dorian DeBose]

At some point you just hate the job.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, it was just some random guy I got.

[Dorian DeBose]

He got robbed twice. But the second time you was like. Was you getting robbed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You. You hand a guy a note. Like, take everything.

[Dorian DeBose]

This guy tipped you, dude.

[Dave Anthony]

This dude rolls in and he is looking not the best. So he's probably on drug. A black guy. Gareth.

[Dorian DeBose]

What? That's not Dave. That's not relevant.

[Dave Anthony]

It will become relevant at the end. So I don't like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shouting as he's leaving.

[Dave Anthony]

It's. It's like summer. And he's got a big jacket on and he's sweating, and it's just. It's just not a good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Never good.

[Dave Anthony]

Not. It's not a good look. So he comes up and he hands me a note and it says, I have a gun. And I am going, I want money. And so when you're a bank teller, you have like the drawer which the money is in, and below that you have a little. A little safe underneath, little like locker thing. And you're only supposed to keep a certain amount of money in the drawer. And anytime you go over it in the drawer, you put it down below. And if between your two areas you have $10,000, then you're supposed to go to the main teller and say, hey, I need to put some of the money in the safe. So you never have over a certain amount. So I was just being lazy. And I had like $14,000 and I just didn't give. So the guy rolls up and he hands me a note and it says, give me all your money. And I take all the money out of the drawer and I hand it to him and then I go, you want the stuff down below? And he goes, what? I go, I have more down here. And I reached out and I unlock it and I take all the money and I give him the $14,000. And he hits eyes, man. And he. He takes off. And then, and then I'm just like. And I turn around, I go, hey, I. I Just got robbed. And they're like, what? I go, yeah, they took all my money. They goes, did you, did you hit the alarm? And I was like, no, I didn't hit the alarm. And then, and then they're like, how much did you have? And I was like, I added a lot more than I'm sure. And they were like, did he ask to go? Did he ask for the money down below? And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This guy done his homework. He made me empty Janice's safe too.

[Dave Anthony]

And so now I'm in, I'm in San Rafael, which is, which is in Marin County. And then there's the Richmond Bridge. And then the Richmond Bridge takes you over to Oakland. So for some reason, the cops in Marin are like, black guy. Oh, let's start pulling people over in Richmond across the bridge. So they're like, we think we have him. And they drive me and this teller over. Now, she is a 19 year old who, who is a Mormon who is here on her mission or something. Like she's straight from Utah. And they drive us both over and.

[Dorian DeBose]

They show a black guy.

[Dave Anthony]

They show a black. Exactly. So, yes. So they, so they.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God, yes, he's black.

[Dave Anthony]

Arrest him. So they just got this dude. They've got this dude pulled over on the side of the road. He's. He's like, now the guy robbed me had like a scraggly beard. This guy's got like a decent beard and he's kind of around the same age, but there's like nothing similar at all. It's just a black dude. And I looked at him. I go, nope. And she goes, I think it is. And I go, no, it is not. And she's like, no, I, I think. And I go, shut the up. That's not the guy. Shut the up. And. And then she goes, oh, I don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Know what you're doing.

[Dave Anthony]

So mean. I'm like, because that dude's life's on the line.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's why.

[Dave Anthony]

And then, and then they had to let him go. And they were very disappointed that they had to let him go. And then like a month later, the bank manager went to a conference for the whole bank. And they gave her a standing ovation when she walked in because I had given away the most money in bank teller history.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like a sarcastic.

[Dave Anthony]

Without going. Yes, without going to the. Without going to the vault.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow, good for you.

[Dorian DeBose]

Did the guy get away with it? They ever catch the guy?

[Dave Anthony]

They did catch the guy because he kept, he kept doing it because he was like, he was probably like, man, you. It's crazy how much money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I only got.

[Dorian DeBose]

10. 10. I'll walk away from 10. 14.

[Gareth Reynolds]

14 is great.

[Dave Anthony]

They. I never. I never had to testify or anything, because I guess the guy just pleaded guilty, and so they didn't have. I'd have to do anything, but. Yeah.

[Dorian DeBose]

I hope it's on the record that you're very nice.

[Dave Anthony]

I was just like, dude, let's go take it. What are we doing here?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can I come with you? Take me with you.

[Dorian DeBose]

Take the money, but buy me a beer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's go to BJ's.

[Dave Anthony]

He must have been so shocked to get that much money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, so happy.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Dorian DeBose]

What a great month that guy probably had, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That feeling of 14 grand and you got away with it.

[Dave Anthony]

And again, look, if you work at a place, it's not your money. Do they treat you? Do they treat you well? Probably not. Do they pay you good? No, probably not. So who gives a. Give them. Give them all the money. No one gets hurt. My insurance covers it. Nobody.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me say one more, and then we'll get back. My buddy and I went to this secondhand store once, and we bought. There was. They had this ventriloquist dummy up on the top shelf, and the price tag was $250. It was handwritten. And so this woman's about to ring us up, and my buddy goes, that's handwritten, right? And she was like, yeah. And he goes, so you could charge us, like, $5, right? And she was like, okay. And we were like, okay, thank you very much. We were like, awesome. That's great. You just couldn't give less of a. And I had a ventriloquist W. All right, let's finish it out with some news, Dave.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, let's do news. Here's a fun story. Uncle rescues girl who offered to sell herself in marriage for $9,000.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's go back to some personal stuff. Let's keep it off the paper. I think that was. We had some good momentum there, I feel.

[Dorian DeBose]

Yeah, we had some. We had some nice riffs going.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's get back to the riff lands. Were there prior anyway?

[Dorian DeBose]

Yeah. I have a family. I love them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Walk through each one of them.

[Dorian DeBose]

Yeah, My mother. She's a good lady.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So wait, what's that headlight again?

[Dave Anthony]

Uncle rescues girl who offered to sell herself in marriage for $9,000.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sell herself in marriage, meaning she was gonna do sex work. Ins while they were.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, she was just saying, I'll get married.

[Dorian DeBose]

Her hand.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, she is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Which now there's a version of that which is all over online, which is you can have my virginity for, you know, X amount.

[Dorian DeBose]

Yeah, like I sold mine for like $15. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That'S three grinder gas texts.

[Dorian DeBose]

Exactly. Dude. How do you think I'm affording my lifestyle?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's how I fed my evil Shark Tank show. Wow. Okay, so this selling your virginity is so up.

[Dave Anthony]

It's. It's really crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alarm bells of our society are.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, there, there's some signs that things aren't going great. Well, you could do it with someone that you like or you could do it with the dude who's going to give you $50,000. Like take the cash, put a down payment down. Okay, so this is out of Pennsylvania and It's from Frackville, Pennsylvania.

[Dorian DeBose]

This is not as much money as I thought.

[Dave Anthony]

9,000.

[Dorian DeBose]

9,000 back then was like. Only that's like, it's like what a hun. That's like 160,000.

[Dave Anthony]

That's a lot, dude. I guess.

[Dorian DeBose]

Well that's 160,000 our money like that. That's not an inconsiderable amount of money. But like yeah, I'll sell my body for cheap, but I won't sell my love.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Honestly, there's absolutely zero down in my mind if you made me that offer when I lost mine that I would without question taken and by the way, have no issue for my virginity.

[Dorian DeBose]

Easy for my virgin.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Dorian DeBose]

What are we even talking about? I'm not even negotiating.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, as long as I'm doing the. I'm good. You can have.

[Dorian DeBose]

You don't even need to pay me the gas money to come over.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dorian DeBose]

I mean I'll take that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't negotiate yourself down.

[Dave Anthony]

But yeah, there are people that are like, I want to be in love. But there's also a lot of people like let's just get this over with. Like I want to just do it once, see what it's like. Like that's. Yeah. Okay. So the curtain has rung down on the romance of Mary Luzewski, daughter of a Frackville miner. The golden haired. And then there's a picture of her and she's got completely black hair. The golden hair, blue eyed 19 year old skirt shirt maker sent everyone talking in her native town when she offered herself in marriage in an effort to save her father from debt. Oh well that's cute. It all started like this. Mary was in despair. All her youth has been passed in the smoky mining town near Pottsville, Pennsylvania.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She has Been working on shows at Pottsville. This is getting worse.

[Dave Anthony]

She had been working in a shirt factory ever since she was 15. She had seven younger brothers and sisters whom she was helping to support. And her father. Father William, a Lithuanian. Well, there you go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There you go.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a lit. The way I told you this would be Lithuanian.

[Dorian DeBose]

I love how pro black you are. And anti Lithuania.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pretty fair for Dave, honestly.

[Dorian DeBose]

We know the real enemy that is.

[Dave Anthony]

That is my brand.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

He had been a minor for many years, but his earnings were insufficient for his large family. And Mary was growing more and more worried. Her father owed 7,000 on the mortgage and 2,000 other debts. So they tried various ways to give money, but with no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She didn't want to have any leftover.

[Dave Anthony]

I know, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

11 grand.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Right. Yeah.

[Dorian DeBose]

This is also Dickensian.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. It is just. It's real bad.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Every day is coming home from the mine, just like, once again, we'll probably not have enough money to make it. If only one of us had a skill.

[Dorian DeBose]

That's not how Lithuanian people sound like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How. What do they sound like? What do they sound like? Let me hear it.

[Dorian DeBose]

Every day I come home from Semai might be better.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. That guy. That guy right there. That guy. That's. He. He watched some Golden State basketball in the late 90s and he remembers Serenus Muscelonis or whatever his name was.

[Dorian DeBose]

No, he's Russian. Where's. Where's Luca Doncic from Prussia? That's. That makes sense to me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Transylvania.

[Dorian DeBose]

No, I think my accent was just like, gay Italian. My apologies.

[Dave Anthony]

It's Cers Marcelo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a good one.

[Dave Anthony]

Serenas. Marcelos was. He was one of, like, the first European basketball players in the NBA.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We let the. Damn. We left it. We let them come in, and now they won't leave our game alone. The shot clock and the Eastern Europeans.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, and the dunk.

[Dorian DeBose]

I do have a theory that, like, you need, like, oppression to make, like, basketball good. And so, like, as things get better in the country, we're gonna have less great basketball plays.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I wonder. It'll be interesting.

[Dorian DeBose]

I wonder, like, Giannis was like, black in a racist ass country and he's so good at basketball.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that guy is like the. The idea that the yada story is so. It's like a sliver through time where you're like, how in the. Did this happen?

[Dorian DeBose]

No. What a Horatio Algers type beat, man. Like, you're telling me this guy is like, oh, there's a. There's a 610 teenager selling sunglasses on the street.

[Dave Anthony]

I've done that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the are you talking about?

[Dave Anthony]

You don't know that? In College, I was a 610 black guy in Greece.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not real.

[Dorian DeBose]

Well, is it relevant in the story that you were black?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think it is, actually, for the first time. Didn't happen.

[Dave Anthony]

So Mary had an inspiration. Secretly, she wrote to a New York newspaper and offered herself to any man who would pay $9,000 that would save her family from ruin. So the letter's long, but she writes it out, and then. Then followed the girl's name and address, and the New York paper published the letter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's also fucking wild.

[Dave Anthony]

That's crazy right there.

[Dorian DeBose]

They're publishing anything back then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. All right. Does anyone want to banger for the first time for money?

[Dorian DeBose]

That was. That was front page the New York Post back then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's front page back then. And in Burbank, they're just like, this is a pumpkin.

[Dorian DeBose]

It's way more important that. That they know. This cantaloupe looks like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dorian DeBose]

Little girl saved from be selling herself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Family save from girl giving it up for the first time. This letter is not a cantaloupe.

[Dave Anthony]

Letters came pouring in. Mary was bewildered.

[Dorian DeBose]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah. But this is a time when guys would read about a woman in the paper and be like, I'm ready to marry you now. Like, it was very common. So of course, dudes are like, I'll buy that when she's only 15.

[Dorian DeBose]

It makes sense. I heard that. 1970s.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me make a gross point before you get into the first time. Not what. Not a good time.

[Dave Anthony]

What do you. Oh, the sex.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's.

[Dorian DeBose]

Nobody. Nobody. Nobody's good at it.

[Dave Anthony]

No one knows.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the. It's not that. I'm saying there's a good arrangement for this.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it's not good. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you're not gonna be like, that was awesome.

[Dorian DeBose]

Like, well, you're investing in potential here.

[Dave Anthony]

Guys. Put on a shark tank hat. Oh, this is a shark tank. One you could do.

[Dorian DeBose]

I'll actually write this idea.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My father does not have enough money to pay for our mortgage, therefore. All right, go ahead, Dave. Finish this nightmare.

[Dave Anthony]

Letters came pouring in. Mary was bewildered by the power of the press and the sudden notoriety. She had become a heroine, a person of discussion outside Frackville as well as on its streets.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She hawked good.

[Dorian DeBose]

She was the hog to it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She hawked to it.

[Dorian DeBose]

Oh, man. If only there was a podcast back then. If there was a Podcast industry. This woman would be a household name.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's called Mary Coyne.

[Dave Anthony]

But then. Then an offer came, as if from an. A fairy godfather. An uncle in Boston had read her letter in the paper. Y'all my niece. No, no, no, I'm kidding. He had not known of the Pennsylvania family's distressing plight before, and as soon as he learned of it, he wrote to them and offered them the 9,000 with no obligation on Mary's part.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can we do it?

[Dorian DeBose]

Let's just say that's. He knew.

[Dave Anthony]

He knew.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe it just got way sad. But also, I'm gonna do an impression of all the sick fucking who wrote in. Ah, come on. Ah. What?

[Dave Anthony]

There's not even a bidding process, and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He'S not even gonna get anything out of it.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, what's the point?

[Dorian DeBose]

We had a contract in principle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That guy at the paper. I am owed her. I want what I was promised.

[Dorian DeBose]

I had the right to match the bid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

9,005.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, oh, man.

[Dorian DeBose]

You can save your money. That's two newspapers.

[Dave Anthony]

This ending is crazy. Today, Mary is happy in the Luzewski home. The neighbors all came to congratulate her. Letters arrive from 43 more bidders, but Mary burned them all.

[Dorian DeBose]

Good.

[Dave Anthony]

How many dudes? I mean, what in the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's gross.

[Dorian DeBose]

And these are your grandfathers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. What. What is your problem? How dare.

[Dorian DeBose]

This is your grandfather.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yours might have been there.

[Dave Anthony]

You don't know that these are. These are Garrett's people. Don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, I'm just.

[Dorian DeBose]

Yeah, I, I, I, I, I frankly do not think that they were allowing my grandfather to make a bid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He probably wrote a letter. I will say that there was this video recently of this woman who banged a hundred guys for I don't even know.

[Dave Anthony]

So sad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And two things about it were.

[Dave Anthony]

It's just her after the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The first is that 100 guys are into that. I. That still boggles the mind that that is a situation. Really?

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Dorian DeBose]

Everybody hates the male loneliness epidemic, but as soon as I start putting forward solutions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Evil shark tank.

[Dave Anthony]

I would do. Wouldn't you do that? But you want to be in the, like, mid-90s.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

Not to close it out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. That. That, that guy negotiating. I'll do it, but I want to be 98 or later. But then the video, which you're talking about, Dave, with her interviewed about it, and clearly it was traumatic.

[Dave Anthony]

She completely traumatic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, clear. She's crying. She's talking about it. She clearly is like, trauma blocked some of the event out, and then Again.

[Dave Anthony]

But she's like. It was. She's basically saying, no, it's. It was much harder and worse than I thought it would be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In the comments, the amount of men who are like, why the she crying now?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I'm like, I. What? Actual.

[Dorian DeBose]

Also, I feel like. So I. I feel like if you're gonna. You can't start at 100. That feels like one of those things where you work your way up, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. She certainly didn't feel like she'd done 50 before.

[Dorian DeBose]

It feels like she went up, like, to the deep end, and it's like, nah, you can't start surfing in the ocean, dude. You got to stay in the pond.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think maybe that is fair. Fair. But either way, at. She's like. This is the word. I mean, the energy at that event.

[Dorian DeBose]

No, it's horrific.

[Dave Anthony]

I was more thinking of the smell.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, everybody, that's the episode for sure. There's no question that this episode is over. This episode has been over for a minute. Dorian, thank you for joining us. Please go see your show. How often are you doing the show?

[Dorian DeBose]

So our premiere is in January. I'm hoping to do a bi monthly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. So we will. This episode will probably be out right around then. And it is verbose to Bose on Instagram.

[Dorian DeBose]

Yep. Verbose Dubose, or evil shark tank.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Evil shark tank. Thank you for joining us, Dorian. Look forward to having you back. And honestly, the fact that you gave a guy $5 instead of having him come over on Grindr is, dare I say, a legacy on the show like this. Incredible. I'm proud.

[Dorian DeBose]

But I'm not a businessman. I'm a business man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't think that's right.

[Dorian DeBose]

Yeah, I do business.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. $5 for Grinder Gas. All right, Dory. Appreciate it.

[Dorian DeBose]

Small business owner.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you're going in the wrong direction.

[Dorian DeBose]

I need a. I'm a tiny business owner.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not a business loan. I need a business loan. All right, Tori. Thanks, bud.

[Dorian DeBose]

Take care of y'all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Some of these days you'll miss me, honey? Some of these days. Oh, you like this podcast, do you? Then you're gonna love me on the road doing stand up. Go to garethreynolds.com if you are in Richmond Heights, Missouri. St. Louis. Let's be honest. January 7th. January 8th. Indianapolis, Batavia. Batavia. Someone said online. Illinois, January 9th through the 11th. Cedar Rapids, Iowa. January 12th. Minneapolis, Minnesota. January 15th through the 18th. Then I'll be in Buffalo, New York, on January 30th. Rutherford, New Jersey January 31st through February 1st Brea, California February 7th Eureka, California February 11th San Francisco. February 12th Sacramento. February 13th Naples March 24th Charlotte, North Carolina. April 13th, April 14th I will be in Raleigh, North Carolina. Virginia Beach April 15th Richmond, Virginia, April 16th Lutherville, basically Baltimore, I think. April 17th, 18th, 19th, 19th. It cuts off there. And Winnipeg this summer in May. Go to garethreynolds.com for tickets and information. You're the gear force. We need you. Gare Force. Hashtag Air Force Gear Force.