146 - The Past Times with BillyWayneDavis

Summary

The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds

The Past Times with Billy Wayne Davis

Episode 146 | October 10, 2025
Main Theme:
Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds, joined by guest Billy Wayne Davis, dive into a 1932 Atlanta newspaper for an improvised, irreverent, and hilarious exploration of odd, mundane, and wild news stories from a bygone era. Through banter and comedic chemistry, they roast, analyze, and riff off the headlines—touching on everything from romantic misunderstandings to pranks gone awry—all with their signature humor and a strong dose of personal storytelling.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction & Banter: Touring, Career, and Weird Times

• Tour Life & Parenting: Billy discusses the difficulties of balancing a touring career with family:
  • "Do your kids remember you?" (02:14, Gareth)
  • Billy adapts his touring to be home more but admits it makes the time away, and work, more intense.
• Commentary on Comedy Careers: The group jokes about the perilous, unpredictable nature of a comedian’s visibility ("You're always around. That's the goal." — 02:01, Billy).
• John Reap and Comedy Divides: Billy reflects on another comedian's unexpected turn toward politics and its impact on touring and audiences (02:52).

2. The Newspaper Game: Guessing the Year

• Gareth introduces the main segment: reading unknown historical newspapers.
• Billy wildly guesses "19... seven," covering all years ending in 7 ("Good guess, Vegas covers all the sevens." — 05:23, Dave & Gareth).
• The correct answer: April 11, 1932, from Atlanta, Georgia (06:40).

---

3. Notable Newspaper Stories & Riffs

A. Divorce for Infidelity and Cruelty

• Story: Will Taylor is granted divorce from Mabel Taylor for cruel treatment and infidelity (07:05).
• Riff: The comedians joke about being caught mid-dinner with a mistress ("Was he eating? Was he banging her on the table?" — 07:34, Gareth), poking fun at the thinly veiled reports and lack of details.
• Quote:
  • "He's banging her on the table while chewing a turkey leg." — 07:44, Gareth
  • "Leave my fucking... the leg." — 08:12, Billy

B. The Six-Fingered Jailbreak & Stolen Produce Car

• Story: A black man with six fingers escapes jail, steals a car marked "Produce" (10:31–15:38).
• Riff: Extended riffing on how remarkably easy the suspect is to identify, and on naming conventions of the era.
• Quote:
  • "It's gonna be hard to find the six finger black man in a produce mobile in this town." — 15:30, Dave
  • "You don't even need the black part... the six fingers... that's enough." — 15:38, Billy

C. Lover Slashes over Church Attendance

• Story: A man cuts his lover on the forehead after an argument sparked by her saying she was attending church (16:19).
• Riff: They joke about the thin line between romance, arguing, and foreplay in small-town gossip.
• Quote:
  • "Cut his sweetheart... I think maybe they're on the rocks." — 17:24, Gareth
  • "Back then, a male stab into the forehead, that's flirting. That's nothing." — 19:08, Gareth

D. Angry Daughter Takes Poison

• Story: Young woman attempts suicide with iodine; most ends up on her clothes, resulting in little harm (21:52–25:31).
• Riff: Exploration of what happens when you ingest various household items, nothing but jokes about "fake-dying" for attention.
• Quote:
  • "A dying for help. She's fake dying, she's fake dining..." — 24:51, Dave
  • "Iodine's like mercury, you can have a baby dose." — 23:04, Dave

E. Fishbone Mishap

• Story: Man hospitalized after choking on a fishbone (25:49).
• Riff: Jokes about how mundane and gossipy newspapers were, drawing comparisons to celebrity tabloids.
• Quote:
  • "He had to be eating it like a cartoon cat." — 28:44, Gareth

---

4. Extended Banter: Childhood Pranks and Dangerous Antics

• "Boys Will Be Boys": The comedians reminisce about youthful stupidity—Roman candle fights, lighting socks on fire, and pranks involving gasoline (43:00+).
• Quotes:
  • "Roman candle... I used to light my socks on fire quite often." — 43:07, Dave
  • "We used to throw bottle rockets at each other on a roof... like John Wick..." — 48:32, Gareth
• Insight: They discuss generational shifts in acceptable mischief and the wisdom of not sharing their worst ideas with their children ("Now I have to make sure not to tell my kids how to hold fireworks..." — 49:27, Billy).

---

5. Chicken Thief Sentenced to a Year at Hard Labor

• Story: Man and alleged companion arrested, tried, and given 12 months for stealing chickens (32:36–41:41).
• Riff: Laughter about the specificity in reporting types of hens stolen, the economic impact of chicken theft, and the absurdity of "chicken court."
• Quotes:
  • "The price of chickens went up... that's a year." — 32:42, Gareth
  • "Now you just—you're from Tennessee, you just know all kinds of chickens..." — 38:01, Gareth
  • "If anyone bites you, you get to hit them with a hammer." — 59:13, Billy

---

6. Domestic Disputes Over... Reading the Newspaper

• Story: Wife attacks husband with a hammer after a fight erupts over her reading the newspaper at night; husband bites her in return (52:10–57:42).
• Riff: Comedians are in disbelief over the sequence of escalation: demanding bed, turning off the lights, biting, and hammer blows.
• Quotes:
  • "If anyone bites you, I think you have... you get to hit him with a hammer." — 59:13, Billy
  • "Multiple hammerings is the more jailable offense out of the two." — 57:12, Gareth
  • “She probably wasn’t even reading, she was using the paper to cover up the hammer.” — 56:32, Dave

---

7. Reflections: On Listeners, On Comedy Dynamics

• Do They Like Each Other?: The trio reflect on the common speculation that comedians on the show harbor real tension, confirming that the ribbing is mainly for amusement. ("People always say, ‘I can’t tell if they like each other or not.’ It is my favorite part." — 34:32, Billy)
• Insight: The bit underscores how much humor on the show is about chemistry, faux aggression, and affectionate needling.

---

8. Final Riffs & Farewell

• Personal Questions: Gareth teases Dave about listeners seeking his wisdom but ultimately avoids ever really asking (“Billy, you will come to me with questions and so will you, David. I won’t.” — 30:16).
• Electrical Chaos: The recording closes with technical chaos on Billy’s end, their laughter tracking the episode’s slow spiral into farce (“It sounds like you get Wi-Fi from the Waterworld bug." — 58:29, Dave).

---

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• "If anyone bites you, you get to hit him with a hammer."
  — Billy, 59:13

• "You’re always around. That’s the goal."
  — Billy, 02:01

• "I don’t judge a yolk by the shell."
  — Gareth, 39:27

• "You gotta drink a hero's dose of dying if you want to really go."
  — Dave, 25:22

• "We used to buy this beer called Rhinelander … you could get like 24 bottles for like $6... three of us started getting hives."
  — Gareth, 50:06

---

Timestamps for Major Segments

• Intro and banter: 00:19–06:39
• Guessing the year / Main setup: 06:40
• First headline (Divorce/caught cheating): 07:05–09:30
• Six-fingered jail escape / stolen car: 10:31–16:19
• Church argument/stabbing: 16:19–20:23
• Angry daughter / Poison attempt: 21:52–25:31
• Fishbone mishap: 25:49–29:37
• Chicken thief sentenced: 32:36–41:41
• Hammer fight over newspaper: 52:10–58:54
• Final banter and troubleshooting: 58:55–End

---

Conclusion

This episode captures the essence of The Dollop’s “Past Times” series: irreverent, tangential, and full of both genuine history and mischievous banter. The paper’s absurd old stories are a launching pad for organic detours—ranging from dangerous childhood antics to the economics of chickens—with rapid-fire jokes, callbacks, and real camaraderie. The dynamic works both for hardcore fans who savor every inside joke and for newcomers seeking a comedic take on history’s most random corners.

---

For more from Billy Wayne Davis: BWD Tour
Check out The Dollop on YouTube for animated episodes.

Transcript

[A]

Malcolm Gladwell here. This season on Revisionist History. We're going back to the spring of 1988 to a town in northwest Alabama where a man committed a crime that would spiral out of control.

[B]

There was this joke that said that.

[A]

It was easier to get forgiveness in.

[B]

The Church of Christ for murdering somebody.

[A]

Than it was to be divorced from revisionist history. This is the Alabama Murders. Listen to Revisionist History, the Alabama Murders. Wherever you get your podcasts. All right, everybody. Welcome to the Pastimes podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds and I've never seen it before. And neither is our guest this week, the great Billy Wayne Davis.

[B]

Hello, Billy.

[A]

I still have your sticker on my suitcase. When you're your little Billy Wayne sticker. You've made it.

[B]

I made it.

[A]

You were going to say something before I interjected a little bit of that.

[B]

Was anything you care to talk about, comedian? Just being like. Like, for sure. Just a noise. If. If what I was going to say is like, I would love to hear it. Like, you know, just.

[A]

I'm glad you didn't. Be honest.

[B]

Yeah, see, that's what my words would have been.

[A]

Well, I don't. I mean, we're distracted.

[B]

Let's be honest. The thing.

[A]

A crazy thing has happened in. And we're still recording. I think if you are, you know, whenever this comes out, you will recognize the crazy thing that's happened. You know, it's that thing where that thing happened to the guy and his neck and that thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Billy, what can we promote for you? What do you. You're always around. Where. Where are you? Are you in a shave?

[B]

You define my career. Is he great? That's. No, that's what I. And I been bragging about. That is like, that's the goal.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're always around. I'm like, that is. Thank God.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because some go away. They do. I am touring. Just const. That never ends. I love when people are like you on tour, I guess. Yeah, I guess.

[C]

Do your kids remember you?

[B]

Yes. I've changed the way I do it so I can be home more, but it is more intense when I'm away and not as fun. It's. Are you a real job?

[C]

How old's the little one now?

[B]

Six.

[C]

Oh, okay. So sports and, like, getting into that stuff.

[B]

So that's why I'm trying to be. Yeah.

[C]

Are you noticing. Yeah.

[A]

Are you noticing a bump in ticket sales with the John Reap vacuum?

[B]

Not yet. I think he made a turn last year.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That. That really separated our audiences.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Sounds like that's true.

[B]

So. And it was perplexing to me when that. I was like. When he made that turn, I was like a. That he just went political at all was fascinating to me. Yeah. He wasn't ever that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So that was like, huh. But now we know you won.

[A]

Now we know you won't.

[B]

There's so many. There were just like two of us, but there's so many more of us.

[A]

Well, where do people get your tour dates? Billy? Billy Wayne Davis.com BWD Tour.com.

[B]

I do not know who owns Billy Wayne Davis. I do. Do you? Yeah. You spent more money than you should have on that.

[C]

We just put pictures of buttholes up.

[B]

Yeah, that would be actually. That would be better promotion than what my website is.

[A]

It's actually funny because the guy who edits these, our editor, Preston, he posted a picture of his butthole when the Nuggets won the NBA championship a few years ago.

[C]

He did. He said anyway, right.

[A]

Billy, we're not here to talk about Preston's butthole. We're not here to talk about the fact that who knows what's going to happen after the hour of this recording. Probably, I don't know, mass arrests. Who knows?

[B]

We're gonna guess Utah. So they can't. It's got to be super confusing. It is, because they can't just can't go in there and be like, ah. Because even Utah is like, hey, we like you.

[A]

No, if you're gonna do something like this, Utah is the right place for it. Because, you know, it's Utah, it's you.

[B]

It's very confusing there.

[A]

It's Utah.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Couldn't be wider. Don't wait, Dave. Billy, you will be guessing what year this newspaper is from. Could be from today. It could be from 200 years ago. You'll guess first, I'll guess second. You'll be the winner. Because Dave has sort of this weird issue that we can't really figure out. And he just sits there, winks through it. He's doing some eyebrow stuff. Doesn't matter. So, Billy, year. Go ahead, take a stab. Take a shot.

[B]

19. Seven.

[A]

1907 or 19.

[C]

No, just seven. This is a good guess. 19 and then any seven after that. So it's a good guess.

[A]

So 19.

[B]

Good at gambling.

[C]

Vegas covered all the sevens after. So stand up.

[B]

I'm like.

[C]

11.

[A]

Dave, I don't think anyone's ever not done this part properly, but I do think that that was wrong.

[C]

But you're saying that that's to say it's not properly. It's not a year guess.

[A]

He said nineteen seven.

[C]

Yes. So it's nineteen hundreds and then all sevens. So he's essentially picked twenty different years in a very clever way.

[A]

So you're supporting what he's done? I feel like this is just going to give you more cover to make him win.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

I feel like I'm hanging out with my wife and her family because I say one thing and then you guys just. Just go about what I said.

[A]

I'm going to say 1892.

[C]

18. Now you're way off. It's the 1900s. It's 1932. And since Billy guessed 1927 and 1937, he clearly is, like, a double winner.

[A]

He said 19 7.

[B]

Nope.

[C]

All the sevens.

[B]

Said, closest one to the winner.

[A]

All right, whatever. So 19.

[B]

Yeah, whatever.

[C]

April 11, 1932, Atlanta, Georgia. Now, I didn't pick already, so I'm.

[B]

Going to tell you just the date and the location. I'm not. Okay.

[C]

Gets rid of two timing wife.

[A]

Dave, Dave, read the paper, not your notes.

[C]

Charging that he was a victim of cruel treatment at the hands of his wife, Ms. Mabel Taylor. Will Taylor, Wednesday afternoon was given his freedom from marital duties in Judge Verrilyn Moore's division of Fulton Superior Court.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Taylor told the court his wife had struck him on several occasions and that he had come home one night and found her with a man. I want more detail.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Like, was he eating? Was he banging her on the table? Like, I need a. I need.

[A]

He's banging around the table more than he's eating and then banging her around the table.

[C]

So. So he's. He's. He's her on the table while he's, like, chewing on a turkey leg.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

That is just. That is disrespectful. Yeah, that.

[A]

Now that. I think we can agree that that's a little rude. That is not okay. And my supper.

[B]

I think it's the super part where I would be like, come on, man.

[A]

Oh, my God, my dinner.

[B]

Like, you're just being a dick about the second part. Like, the first part.

[A]

I get it.

[B]

She's hot. I get it. She's got its little twinkle again. She got me. Yeah, I get it. But leave my fucking. The leg.

[C]

He better. He better not have touched the pie.

[A]

Right to the fridge or the icebox.

[C]

Mental anguish resulting from his wife's abuse kept him from his work. He told the court he was given his Divorce.

[B]

Hmm.

[C]

So they had to have been doing it because you can't.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I think everyone had to know because even if the judge is like, yeah, dude, we know. Yeah.

[A]

Because that's.

[B]

It's like. That's a long time ago where you're like. You had to. You just make stuff up.

[A]

Unlike today.

[C]

It doesn't say what I mean. He came home one.

[B]

I don't know what I'm. You're right. It's the most. You make the most depressing point ever.

[A]

I don't feel good. I don't feel good.

[C]

He came home one night. So this was just at night. Like, she was. She knew she was gonna get caught.

[A]

It's worth it.

[C]

Yeah. Sometimes it's just hot. It's a hot moment. You gotta go for it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it's fine.

[C]

All right. Six. Oh, that's it.

[B]

That's the story. It's kind of a slow news day, though.

[C]

Everybody wants more. That should have been more detail. I don't like the lack of detail in there.

[A]

I want slower details.

[C]

Like, to me, this room of the.

[A]

Room, the sounds of the room.

[C]

This, to me, this is the whole front page.

[B]

But also, men were dumb as back then too. So it could have just been. I came home, she's sitting on the porch with another man. And that is talking about.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

And you're just like. They were there to do. And they're like talking, connected.

[C]

He had my turkey leg in his hand.

[A]

Hey, turkey.

[B]

So you didn't her or anything? No, she's. Yeah. What. What's wrong with you, Judge?

[A]

That's not possible.

[B]

And you're like, okay, all right.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

I got to get this lady out of here. Is what.

[C]

Six fingered man breaks out of Georgia jail.

[A]

Well, it's pretty easy for him to pick that lock. He's got that extra digit advantage.

[B]

Just Roscoe Pico train situation going on there where it's like, I bet you I have six fingers on my hand. I bet you you if I do, you gotta let me out of this jail. And the guy's like, I'll take it.

[A]

Now who's Roscoe Pico? I don't know who that is.

[B]

You never seen the Dukes of Hazzard? Oh, yeah, he's the sheriff.

[A]

Oh, the guys are.

[B]

Yeah, he's real dumb. Dumb.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Nope, nothing for the impression.

[C]

I just want to know why you think having an extra finger will help you pick a lock.

[A]

Because you got extra. You got a digit advantage. Look, okay, here I am picking a lot.

[B]

How Big. Are the keys in. In Wisconsin?

[A]

It's not a key. It's okay. He's like going in there and then he's like. But he's got this extra, like, all right, now there.

[C]

What's he doing with that one? What's the extra digit too?

[A]

He's got an extra. There's more dexterity to the dig.

[B]

Look at that.

[A]

For those of you who aren't on YouTube, you really should get there, because what I'm doing right now is some fantastic finger work, I must say, Even for me, I'm. This is great. Look at this. Which one's fake, boys?

[C]

It's like an octopus impression.

[A]

Which one's fake?

[B]

You're not going to get a job on the Muppets.

[A]

I will, too.

[C]

Nope, nope, you won't. Yeah, it's the. Yeah.

[B]

All right.

[A]

We can keep going. I really encourage people to go to the dollop YouTube and check out what I just did.

[B]

It was good just to give. David Blaine was here.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you.

[B]

The best.

[C]

Police were on the lookout Tuesday night for an Automobile belonging to McCullough Brothers. Produce number nine, produce row. Oh, that's the address.

[B]

What a weird. I love how it's a plug. Just not. We. We've had to get clever with street names and stuff.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because people are just to be like, that's Produce Road. What's down there where the food is? You know what?

[A]

New Food Alley.

[B]

It's Produce Road. And in the main street.

[A]

Yeah. I do think that all the time. I'm like, it had to be exhausting to just eventually be like, all right, this one. I don't know. Purdue. Now, come on, let's keep thinking. Mark. Mark's. Mark's Burgers. Stop.

[B]

York. Where? I have a York, New York. All right. I mean, that's technically true.

[A]

Pineapple.

[B]

No.

[A]

What other cities have you worked on? We checked out your street packet. It was pretty good. Your resume is pretty good. Some of the other cities. We love some of the other cities. So you did Michigan. That's a great state.

[B]

I love. People were stealing cars when there were like, eight cars. That's so crazy.

[C]

Well, yeah, but they are so caught.

[B]

Like, there's like four. Well, 100 people.

[A]

So.

[C]

Yeah, we're just gonna catch it.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. If they come to get it, then you're gone. I agree that they're gonna piece together who you are. There's like five cars.

[C]

Just all of a sudden, there's a new car parked in front of your little log cabin.

[A]

That's my car.

[B]

No, no.

[C]

No, I got. I got number nine.

[B]

No, I got a metal horse.

[C]

That's a horse?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You need to get off my property.

[A]

Two horses in a car. Costume.

[C]

Police were on the lookout Tuesday night for an Automobile belonging to McCullough Brothers Produce which was stolen in Lawrenceville early in the evening. It is believed that the car was taken by a black man who escaped from jail a short time prior to. Of the car. To the disappearance of the car. Authorities were given very little description of the fugitive other than he had six fingers on his left hand. It's a. It's a black guy with six fingers.

[A]

Yeah, that's top.

[C]

What do you look like? Well, his nickname is. Is 660 and he's got six fingers.

[A]

Six digiplex.

[C]

Yeah, but what he look like? He. He's got six fingers. I don't know the idea.

[B]

And he's driving in the one car that says produce on the side of it. That's another.

[A]

It's gonna be hard to find the six finger black man in a produce mobile in this town. But I think the cops might be able to do it.

[B]

You don't even need the black part. Honestly, you don't even need. That part. Is like.

[A]

Actually we do.

[C]

Every sheriff, every produce car I pull over has a black gentleman with six fingers driving.

[A]

Yeah, it's vexing.

[C]

It is vexing.

[A]

It's difficult.

[C]

Now, now what is that? What is vexing?

[B]

That's when you sit in a sauna.

[C]

Fair.

[A]

Any more questions?

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Nope. Appreciate it.

[C]

Didn't. Didn't want her to attend church. So. Lover slashes. Oh, it's gonna be good.

[B]

You know what? As a headline, you do have my attention.

[A]

Yes, I would say.

[B]

I'm gonna click on that.

[A]

I'd like to read a bit. Bob. Read more, please.

[C]

Angry because she told him that she was going to church. Will White, 263 Old Wheat Street. Cut his sweetheart.

[A]

Old Wheat Street.

[B]

It was just normal Wheat street till that over there.

[C]

Cut his sweetheart. Ms. Lizzie May Brown of 267 Old Wheat street so they live next door.

[A]

To each other on Old Wheat.

[C]

Yeah. Cut her on the head about 9 o' clock Wednesday night at her home.

[A]

On the head. Can we get a better medical diagnosis?

[C]

It's around the top part.

[A]

Stabbed her head.

[C]

Yeah. There's a lot of places in the head you could cut someone.

[A]

Yeah. Where are we talking?

[C]

For instance?

[B]

He said Top.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Also I like. They prefaced it with cutters. Cut his sweetheart. I think maybe they're on the rocks. So.

[B]

Foreplay.

[A]

No terms Of Endearment, please.

[B]

It's a weird line between arguing and foreplay.

[C]

That's true.

[B]

Same energy. Yeah. Do you not do some early gigs on the road? And you're like, this lady likes me. She doesn't like you. She is making that big hillbilly over there mad at you. And then they get to go.

[A]

This is very specific, Billy.

[B]

Yeah, no, it's very. Happened more than once to where I was like, oh, this is the thing that's happening. I should go. Okay, wait a minute.

[A]

I'm being trapped.

[B]

It was the second time it happened. You're like, oh, weird first time.

[A]

That's a good role.

[B]

I like that role for you. Yeah.

[A]

Make him jealous. Comedian.

[B]

It's. You're in a small town, you're the new dude, and then they're not.

[A]

It's new dudes, new. That new dude smell good for you.

[B]

That's part of why comedians are like, oh, I don't want to do this. A. It didn't pay, and I got shot at this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

The young lady told Officer Wiley at the Grady where she was taken for treatment that her lover came to her home and asked her where she was going. I'm going to church, she replied. Ms. Brown was permitted to return to her home after a small forehead laceration was sewed up. So he cut her on the forehead.

[A]

Stabbed her forehead for going to church. It's interesting to go to someone's house and be like, where are you going? And then cut them.

[B]

As someone that used to drink pretty heavy in my 20s, that sounds like he came home and was like, yeah.

[A]

He probably had a good little.

[B]

Yeah, there's probably a lot of.

[C]

And she said church.

[B]

And she said church. Because she's like a person in the 20s. It's like, hey, we go to church on Sundays. Whether you believe or not, you have to.

[C]

Wednesday night. Wednesday night, best night.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, Thursday.

[C]

I didn't believe her. He didn't. But he wasn't buying it.

[A]

No, no. Back then, a male stab into the forehead, like a slice. That's. That's flirting. That's nothing.

[B]

I like that they worded it like, hey, sliced her and then she got to go home.

[A]

He gave her a slice. Boom. Now she's back.

[B]

I gave her a thing, and then she. I let her leave. What the hell? She ain't a hostage.

[C]

But now when she's out, everybody out there will be like, oh, she's taken.

[B]

Yeah, she's. Oh, she got the.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Guess who ain't going to church anymore.

[B]

I. I Do support stopping people from going to church? I do support that part of it. It's.

[C]

But, but this way.

[B]

Slicing, that's. That's the line is you can't cut them. Yeah, I think. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And now have you been saying that before this episode that the. You can't cut them to stop them?

[B]

Yeah. You can't cut them.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Interesting.

[C]

So you're being consistent.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Thank you. Yes. I've always said that is. Yes. Yeah. You can't violently.

[A]

Okay. No, you see you really. It's a lot of tells. You're touching your face.

[B]

What is funny though is like he did let her go after and she kind of just went to church.

[A]

Well, I mean it sounds like he just needed.

[B]

He's just kind of looking for.

[A]

She's bleeding from her head.

[C]

She's bleeding. Yeah. So that's not a great church look. But you know what I mean? Unless you're going to a satanic church. If you're going to satanic church, Billy.

[A]

Has access to a whole different set of etiquette that than we're familiar with.

[C]

Did a lot of the people you knew growing up in your little. They bleed when they went to church. Was there bleeders?

[B]

They didn't show up bleeding. I don't think you know who.

[A]

Sometimes their forehead.

[B]

I mean there's sports being played and stuff. Yeah, I saw some. Jesus. I never saw, you know, I never saw a fight at church or anything. Pretty cool.

[C]

Sounds like a weak church.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Angry daughter takes poison.

[B]

Real community based. Didn't really believe a lot of the nonsense.

[C]

Angry daughter takes poison. Angered as her mother told hospital attaches because some small whim had not been granted. Ms. Gladys Bebel, 316 Lee St. Was given treatment at the Grady Hospital about 6:30 Sunday evening for some iodine which she is supposed to have swallowed during her tantrum.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Iodine just makes you throw up, doesn't it?

[A]

Iodine? I don't know.

[C]

Maybe. Maybe I'm wrong.

[A]

You're thinking of ipecac.

[C]

I used to.

[B]

I think that's what you're thinking of.

[C]

But I don't think it's.

[A]

Ipecac's the barfin poison.

[B]

Yeah. That's the one that makes it. Yeah.

[C]

Oh yeah. Abdominal.

[A]

I think you have a little bit of iodine.

[B]

Large.

[C]

Large doses can cause harm. So you gotta drink a lot.

[B]

I'm glad us three did not know each other when we were really drinking.

[A]

Good idea.

[B]

This conversation is like, I do. I'm with you. I'm like, I think you can have a Little bit of this.

[A]

You can have a touch.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Iodine's like mercury. You can have a baby dust.

[B]

Yeah. Just you put in your eyeball a little bit.

[A]

Yeah, you can have a little bit of iodine.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I mean, it's got the word dying in it. Of course you can eat a little.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Here's the symptoms. Abdominal pain, coughing, delirium, diarrhea, sometimes bloody fever, gum and tooth soreness, loss of appetite, metallic taste, mouth and throat pain and burning rash. Salvation. Salivation.

[A]

Salvation is a great salvation.

[C]

Shock.

[B]

You think I'm going to heaven because it feels like I'm dying, right?

[C]

Oh, they say don't make the person throw up. Give them milk.

[A]

Yeah. No, you. By the way, for anyone listening, if you do drink too much iodine, milk your way out of that problem. That's how you're. Don't be afraid to throw a couple milk punches that. That dines way. You got it?

[B]

You have to. Just some Just distraught dude coming in your house. Get out of the way. I need milk.

[A]

Milk like you just drank a ghost pepper. Hot sauce. Hot sauce and iodine are very similar.

[B]

I don't know what you've done to yourself, but you're not welcome in my home.

[A]

A little milk.

[B]

That's so fun.

[A]

Godzilla and milk out of dining again?

[B]

Shut up, woman. The boys are being boys.

[C]

The young lady, however, who was treated by Dr. Rice made a poor attempt to end her life as very little of the poison entered her body, the greater part being spilled upon her clothes. Her condition was regarded as extremely mild, and her mother took her home after her arrival. Okay, so, yeah, it's what we call.

[A]

A dying for help. I mean, that's all she do. She's fake dying. She's fake dining, and she's getting mostly on her clothes because she just wants the attention. If you really wanted to die from iodine, you would drink a. You pound it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You get it.

[B]

It's like an accountability. She's like, no, I'm not. I don't want accountability. So, yeah, I wanna. I wanna do some WWE moves here.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's just.

[B]

You know, and then her mom's probably like, all right, we're gonna put you in the newspaper.

[A]

You gotta drink a hero's dose of dying if you want to really go.

[B]

Because it sounds like mom's probably just as dramatic if this makes the news. You know what I mean? Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It shouldn't. It's not newsworthy at all. It's not even remotely newsworthy.

[B]

Yeah, but it sounds like that's like.

[A]

How many fingers she have?

[C]

17. 17 on the left hand and four on the right. Good tasting fish. Had one too many bones for him.

[A]

Good taste of fish. Had one too many bones for you.

[C]

Good tasting fish. Had one too many bones for him. Amon McLannan, 321 Tottenham street, had fish to eat Sunday.

[A]

This is a wild thing to have in the paper.

[C]

What if that was the whole story?

[A]

It feels like it's per. I mean, it's got one too many bones in it.

[B]

It's just. That's what celebrity gossip is.

[A]

No, but, yeah, it kind of is.

[B]

It is. These two dingbats went and had fish tonight. Did you see them out? They were touching.

[A]

It is true.

[C]

It's also what the society.

[A]

They were touc. Billy's TMZ is phenomenal. You see these two dig mats had dinner. They were touching.

[B]

That's what it is.

[A]

Your channel's called that's what It Is. That's what it is.

[B]

That's what they're doing, though. I mean, not what the touching is, but that's what those sites and stuff they're always like. And this skinny person and this skinny person were touching hands where they serve dead fish. And you're like, yeah, they are. Look at that.

[A]

Touching hands.

[B]

Where we're not allowed.

[A]

Maybe they was touching hands.

[C]

The fish tasted mighty good, but Mr. McClannon found that he was having difficulty getting it down. Oh, right. He's just taking a whole fish. Yeah.

[A]

What is he. He's fucking Heathcliffing it.

[B]

The bones hurt my. My throat.

[A]

Have you tried not eating the bones?

[B]

Huh? I don't know.

[A]

I think I'm running out of enzymes.

[B]

It's smooth this way. It hurts when I pull it back out.

[A]

I'm inside of a barbed puzzle.

[B]

Should I lube it with iodine?

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[B]

Milk. Go get us Mil.

[C]

Died, he was rushed to the Grady Hospital, where Dr. Anderson extracted a nice sized fishbone from his throat in such a skillful manner that it was not necessary for him to remain in the hospital for further attention.

[A]

Wow. He left hospital that night.

[C]

He plucked it out, and they didn't. And the guy didn't, like, slice the bone up all the way up his throat. He pulled it nicely out, and that was that.

[A]

It's a strange time.

[C]

How big was this bone? And how was this guy eating the fish?

[B]

There's so many, so many, so many questions.

[A]

He had to be eating it like a cartoon cat.

[C]

And it had to be quite big. Yeah, it had to be big because when you eat a fish with bone, you're careful about it. Like, that's just part of the process.

[A]

That's where he misstepped. That's.

[B]

That's what I'm with. Like, if you. If the dude could pull it out, that means it's, like, substantial. It's fine.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. It's spine, isn't it?

[B]

It's not like. Because the rest of those things are so brittle that they just crush, then that's the dangerous part is, like, they just kind of cut you.

[C]

And. And here's the other part.

[B]

Go ahead.

[C]

When you bite into fish with bone in it, you go, sure.

[A]

Well, you know, but this is before they knew that, Bo.

[B]

Wrong.

[A]

This is a different time.

[B]

It's like cocaine. It was like, around the time they were just like this.

[A]

It was used for everything.

[B]

You're right.

[A]

Yeah. You just expected your body to do the work.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

You didn't want to at Apple, but whatever.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That is. Well, awesome.

[A]

You guys can come to me with any questions.

[C]

Well, I'm not going to.

[A]

Yeah, you should. Go ahead, Billy.

[B]

I like the option, but I'm probably never going to use it. I like.

[A]

You'll come to me.

[B]

You will come to me.

[A]

You'll be coming to me.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

Mark my words.

[C]

I don't think there's. I feel like there's not many people on earth who would come to you with questions.

[A]

Many would come to me with questions. Many have. And many have been very satisfied with the answers to their questions. And many more will come to me with questions.

[C]

I want to treat that option.

[A]

Billy will be among them.

[B]

I'm going to treat that option like Peyton Manning running the option, which is like, you know, I'm not going to run that. I'm going to pitch you. I'm not.

[A]

Every now and then, for a change. Up. You might want to run it to keep. Keep them. Keep them honest. So, Billy. Billy, you will come to me with questions. And so will you, David. I won't. You have questions. Yes, you will. You both will. I'm very.

[C]

When was the last time someone asked you a question, and what was the answer?

[B]

Oh, what was the.

[A]

You don't even want to know the question. That was two days ago. And the answer was, I wouldn't but bring a tire iron.

[C]

Was this about going after that?

[B]

Correct. Even when that answer is the correct answer, I still think it's the wrong answer.

[A]

No, you both will come to me with questions, and I will solve Your problems and you're being fun on air because you guys like to have fun. But you both know off air you will be coming to me with questions and I will be solving them. And you will be thankful and just quit. Quit shaking your head, Billy. I'm going to make you. I'm going to make you earn the answers if you keep shaking your heads.

[B]

The both of you, when we're not recording. I'm genuinely worried about you sometimes.

[A]

Wrong. You're always texting me stuff about how much you need me. Always. And fuck you, Dave.

[B]

Those are those. That's a proof of life question is what that is out there.

[C]

I can see. I can see you to be the not question man.

[A]

You will eat those words when you ask me advice very soon and the advice will be about your personal relationships and you will have some that are business related to yes, he will and yes, you will. Next article.

[B]

It did feel like we were like in like a small town, some small claims court right there where I was like, I don't even know why we're here. But like the judge is mad and he's.

[A]

You mean the person with all the questions? The adult in the room. Interesting how you wouldn't want to go there for some knowledge. Go now, Dave, read it or I'll make one up. Fine, I'll make one up. Man loses shoe balls.

[C]

Go ahead.

[B]

14 Shoeball Court. It was the name.

[A]

I'll keep making it up. Ship wanted for questioning.

[C]

Next.

[B]

All the headlines I'm clicking on. Yeah.

[C]

12 months given chicken thief.

[A]

That's a year.

[C]

That is a year. The price of chickens went up on the market Monday when Leon Carter discovered that it would require exactly 12 months at hard labor to repay society in general for the chickens that he stole from the hen house of N. Wallace on March 3rd.

[B]

That's. So why would.

[A]

It's a lot to be like, why would.

[B]

You stole the price of chickens.

[C]

Why would the price go up of chickens though if they caught the thief?

[A]

The price of chickens. Well, but I. I don't think there's. I don't think there's. They're not saying that the price of chickens goes up because of the theft. Right. They're just saying I think that's why they stole the chicken.

[C]

Now, the market price went up meaning.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I mean.

[C]

How much you sell chickens to the market.

[A]

So the val. It became more valuable. That's partially why he took.

[C]

Right, right.

[A]

Okay, now wait a second.

[B]

He's the beers in it. He's. He's Hoarding supply and demand.

[A]

Feel like I gave Dave some clarity on something and you're telling me you two wouldn't want to come to me with questions?

[B]

Listen. Okay, I will.

[A]

I want to talk to both your wife.

[B]

I have any chicken based questions, I will come to you.

[A]

I'm. I'm a dearth of knowledge outside of chicken, Billy.

[C]

And you know that Billy, he's a vegetarian.

[A]

I have started to eat some chicken every now and then. So there. Because my doctor told me to, because I was dying. And guess what that perspective gave me.

[B]

I went visiting college and then I ate.

[A]

I'm not even listening. I'm talking over you. I'm talking over you because what you should be doing is listening and not talking right now.

[B]

Now that seems like good advice.

[A]

See.

[B]

Hey, in the comments, there's always. Can I just. I want. In the comments of all these, there's always like two or three people are be like, I can't tell if they like each other or not. And it is my favorite part. No, any three. Like me and Dave, like anytime we don't laugh afterwards, people are always just like, I think they hate each other. I'm like, it's pretty endless. It really is.

[A]

It's.

[C]

It's so funny to me that people don't get what comedians do. Like, it's just like.

[B]

And then we just coming on the show and I hate you. That's like another one.

[A]

It's like, no, there's so many times like there are. It is, it's so. It's very interesting when you are part of speculate because you're just so used to speculating when you're actually part of speculation. It almost removes all the fun out of speculating because you're like, you're so wrong about some of this stuff. Like, it's just. But we get that all the time. People like, you guys hate each other. We're like, we.

[C]

No, yeah, we totally hate each other.

[A]

All the time.

[B]

It's like, no one's making morning 90 zoo crew money that you are forced to do this. It works anymore.

[A]

No, it's, it's.

[C]

Kevin and Bean hated each other. And Kevin lived in Seattle and had a T1 line put in and did it. Did his side out of a barn in a studio.

[B]

By the way, there was three or four that I got to go on during that early.

[A]

I was gonna say, weren't you involved in them a little bit?

[B]

Well, you just go on to some of them and then you'd just be like, yeah, you just be In a room with like one dude. And you're like, we're in the right. Oh, that motherfucker's over. And you're just like, okay.

[A]

No, I remember some guy in. Some huge guy, like, I can't remember his name, I won't get it right. But he was like in Minnesota, he was like huge. And then I go into the radio station and you know, the first couple times I did like the morning radio, he was there. And then it was like two years later, like he did it from home. And they were like, so he now does it from home, but we don't talk about that. And I was like, okay. And I was just like sitting there and it was like there was like a momentary delay where he'd be like, that's hilarious. He's Gareth Reynolds. He's performing this weekend in Acme. Now get what I want. And I was just like, wait, what is going on?

[B]

You're like, why couldn't I do this in my hotel room? Why I have to come in.

[C]

Yeah, how about I phone it in?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. His supposed companion in the chicken crime, Ms. Viola Gates, sat beside him in Judge Hutchinson's special court room on the ninth floor of the courthouse.

[A]

Are going to go to special court. Cuz this is super weird.

[B]

Hell yeah. Hell yes. Go.

[A]

Hell yeah.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Ninth floor of the courthouse. As the web of evidence was spun around him. The date of her trial has not been set. According to witnesses, one brown leghorn hen, three gray hens, seven white rock hens and one white rock rooster disappeared due to the effects efforts of the couple. Now you just. Did you picture every. You're from Tennessee, did you picture. I assume you guys just know all kinds of chickens.

[B]

I mean, I'm aware of them.

[C]

Did you picture. Could you. Which one?

[B]

As I named them, they were like, they. Once again, it's kind of how they named everything. Then they're very specific and they're like, yeah, that is how that looks. Because it's like, yeah, speckled hand. You're like, yeah, that's speckled on there.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What you also not realize like some of those hands, there's like special breeds or whatever. Like it's a lot of eggs. More than.

[A]

That's not gonna be a problem. Billy, I'll step in. You let me know if there's any egg problem, I'm your guy. Okay? You let me know if anyone's got some egg issues. I can eat us right out of that. I'll hard boil a couple and I'll probably scramble a Few more.

[B]

Preston, do you have Mute your mic?

[A]

No.

[C]

Do you have a. Do you have a particular hen egg that you enjoy? Reynolds?

[A]

Oh, first of all, let's get into the speculation. Now that you're calling me Reynolds, there's tension. I. You know, Dave, I love, I love all my eggs. I'm a bit. I'm a equal opportunity egg eater. I love them all. You know, you name it. You want to give me a speckled, you want to give me a gray, you want to give me a regular brown, Whatever you want. I don't pigeon judge. I don't judge a yolk by the shell.

[C]

Pigeon.

[A]

Yeah, I love a pigeon. This woman at the farmer's market gave me free quail the other day. Tell you what, weirdest thing I've ever gone through. But I told her I liked them. Thank you.

[C]

Why?

[A]

Why was it weird Properly? Yep. Impossible to crack the shell. Yep. I ended up eating a bunch of quail shells, too. I don't care. And I didn't even give a it. I'll chew them whole. I'll eat the goddamn chicken.

[B]

He's, he's, he's deflecting because I do think that lady was messing with you.

[A]

No. Wrong.

[B]

She went home.

[A]

Wrong.

[B]

She was like, you know, that, that yappy boy that thinks he knows all about chickens.

[A]

Excuse me, this is once again.

[C]

Once again, Gareth.

[B]

I told him to make quail eggs. That's what I told him.

[C]

Adeline, you have once again confused being a customer with being a friend at the farmer's market. They're not my friends. You're a customer.

[B]

They are. They do. They are charming and they are giving.

[A]

Me magazines about their families. There is a lot going on. I know people, but a first day basis, they don't even weigh my stuff. Sometimes they just gotta give you 12.

[B]

You're the guy that needs the weed dealer to be your friend. No.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Don't.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Those words.

[B]

Yes. Hey, man, I got some stuff to do. You gotta get out of here.

[A]

It's never been me. How dare you. Situation where the weed dealer's like, all right, man, well, you got that grass. You should probably get out of here.

[B]

Need you to get out of here, man.

[A]

All right, man. I don't really want to talk anymore.

[C]

The market price of these fine fouls reached the grand sum of $9.60.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[C]

Judge Hutchinson is presiding over this additional section of the Superior Court as Judge Humphries is in charge of the mutton. Martin, I can't read motion docket. Maybe while Judge Pomeroy is supervising the trial of the slayers of Detective Fisher. So that guy is overseeing a murder case and this guy gets chicken court especially.

[B]

Yeah, no, I would want chicken court.

[C]

I would much rather but a year for stealing 12 months.

[B]

To be fair.

[C]

It's crazy. We don't know if I'm surprised they didn't send some to transportation history joke.

[B]

We got it.

[A]

Yeah. Hey Billy, text me what happened just now. We get it.

[B]

Idiot.

[A]

Billy, text me why that is good.

[B]

I think he's having a stroke. Oh, okay, good.

[A]

We get it.

[C]

Toast, apply gasoline to boys feet. Ignite it.

[B]

That'll do it every time. All right. I've seen it done a couple times. We'll do it every time.

[A]

But are you not curious why that isn't why that's.

[B]

I just thought it was a question.

[A]

I was like no, no, no, no.

[B]

Dave's reading.

[A]

Dave's reading. Dave's reading.

[C]

Little Rock, Arkansas L.D. holman, 13 year old boy was the victim of an odd prank here Monday night.

[A]

Oh, it was a prank.

[C]

You never set your body on fire?

[A]

Absolutely I have.

[B]

For fun. Yes.

[A]

Yes. I actually probably have come pretty close to setting my friends.

[B]

I mean come on.

[C]

Yeah, we did used to have Roman candle battles.

[A]

Roman candle. I used to light my socks on fire quite often.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

While they were on what sitting around the house or.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Huh. Y' all drink drinking in Wisconsin's just so much.

[A]

But it does don't affect. It don't affect the inside your skull.

[B]

Nope, nope, nope.

[C]

That's right. That's right.

[A]

Never do.

[B]

If that's the rule in west if your hands are thick enough. Booze is not poison.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

It's. It's the Wisconsin rule.

[A]

Fine. It's the rest of the country. It's weak.

[C]

Yeah. The victim of an odd prank here Monday night when a group of boys seized him, poured gasoline on his shoes and then set a match on them.

[A]

Hey, you know what I most pranks.

[B]

Why is that in the news?

[C]

It's awesome important.

[A]

I don't think most pranks start with seizing.

[B]

That sounds like every field party I've ever been to.

[A]

Yeah, what is the difference?

[B]

It's like around 1am Somebody's gonna try to to throw a knife or set someone on fire. Not like violently, just more like hey, fun you. Yeah, it's just like owe park, you know you.

[C]

He saved himself after severe burning by jumping into a pool. So he was severely burned because his feet were on fire.

[A]

Yeah. But it's funny how well they did.

[B]

Pour gas on it, that is. Yeah.

[A]

In a funny one.

[C]

It went up pretty big if they poured gas on it.

[B]

Yeah, that is.

[A]

I'm sorry. Not to just be the odd man out, but it's funnier because of the gas.

[B]

Well, gas is not like lighter fluid, which kind of just like.

[A]

It's funnier.

[B]

Well, gas will catch you on fire. Lighter fluid.

[A]

Yes, exactly.

[B]

Burns up and then it's kind of gone.

[A]

Yeah. So the prank is not long term. You want a prank that lasts longer. We're saying that.

[B]

So the.

[C]

I prefer. I prefer, like a chemical burn to. Actually.

[B]

Yeah, that's it. You want a chemical over the scarring.

[A]

No, I mean, like, have you ever blown up a friend as a big old goofy prank?

[B]

Like, here's where my.

[A]

Yeah, I hit my friend with a car and he passed. That's hilarious. Do you know what I'm saying? That's funny. Those pranks are good.

[B]

I knew two dudes that set off a bomb in the state park, and one of them's dad was the superintendent of the state park.

[C]

So, yeah, that's. That's the best place for him to do it then.

[B]

That's what I thought. You know, it was in the woods away from the.

[A]

Yeah, nice.

[B]

Several hundred yards away from the pool. That's what it was. Yeah.

[C]

How big of a cop.

[B]

I mean. Yeah, I know about it. I'm telling you about it. Yes, it is. Like, I remember when it happened, like, how casually I was told about it, you know, like, it was like hours into a hangout kind of thing where.

[A]

Oh, did you hear?

[B]

So and so and so they set off a bomb at the thing, and you're like.

[A]

Like, what?

[B]

You're like, what?

[A]

That's like.

[B]

Even then I was like, that's crazy fun, right? It's pretty funny, right? And I was like, I just. That's so crazy.

[C]

Let me ask you a question. What are you supposed to do with the bomb then?

[B]

I mean, listen, I did. I did ask how they built it and all. I was fascinated.

[C]

Yes, of course you did.

[B]

Yes. I was sitting there. Now I know how. Yeah, I do know how good.

[C]

I mean, I think back to that. And me and my friends used to make pipe bombs.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's insane.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, no one was.

[C]

No one was watching us. We made pipe bombs.

[A]

My cousin and I used to put Axe body spray in a balloon. Fill a balloon with Axe body spray. Like, it would inflate. We would knot it off. And this is in his room.

[B]

We would put.

[A]

You're both about to. I'm about to be on an island alone after this.

[B]

Now we're just more like, huh.

[A]

We would take a bowl and we would put lighter fluid in the bowl, and we would put the. The balloon in the bowl in his room. We would take matches and fling them on there. And then it would be like, yeah. And we. And like, his walls were getting dark.

[C]

Oh, my God. How old are.

[A]

Two months ago? No, I mean, we were probably every Christmas. 11, 12, 13, 14. Right around there.

[C]

Yeah. Okay. That's when. That's the dumb. That's the really dumb period.

[A]

Well, the thing is that my cousin and I were like, on the same page with so many crazy things we did. And then he is diagnosed schizophrenic. So there's been a lot of sort of internal searching of myself where I'm like, we were on the identical. Same page as children.

[B]

No, that's a problem. But it's not. It doesn't happen till.

[C]

No, it happens later.

[B]

Yeah, the 20s.

[A]

Because, like, there were signs.

[B]

My wife has a cousin who is in like. She was like. He was so fun and cool and then. And I was like, yeah, it happens.

[C]

That's when it happens. 20.

[A]

But there were signs. There were signs for sure.

[B]

You look.

[C]

For you. For you.

[B]

We were all. Every one of us was. We're dumb as. You're dumb as.

[C]

Remember the Roman candle war? I said, yeah, we used to do that out in. In fields.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Full of.

[A]

No, I mean, it was dried grass, of course. No, I. I just. All those fun fire pranks you can't do anymore. I remember being on a ro. And we were throwing bottle rockets, like, at each other on a roof like.

[B]

It was John Wick. Yes. Yeah, all this.

[C]

That's right.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's what you're supposed to do.

[B]

My boys back to Tennessee in the summer. I have to consciously think about did what I used to do. Is that because, like, your instinct is like, hey, we used to do this, this, and this. But then you have to think about.

[A]

It and you're like, oh, don't tell them that one.

[B]

No, no, I don't need to give them ideas.

[A]

Yes. That's.

[B]

Actually, I survived this. This was. Some of this wasn't, like, fun, you know, we were just like, oh, no, no, no.

[A]

You've got to have like, a little bouncer at the edge of your mouth who's like, we're not taking that story right now. So your kids can't hear about the time you did that, Billy.

[B]

Or just how to hold. Hold fireworks like that. You can't show them how to do that. No.

[A]

You have to be away from the fireworks.

[B]

They have to figure out how to do all that. It's like the parents that are like, well, I want them to drink at my house. No, there needs to be obstacles.

[A]

By the way, my house was the house where you drank at.

[B]

And let me tell you, Wisconsin does not count.

[A]

Come on, let me. Let us at the table. Let us.

[C]

Let us hang. Wisconsin's just basically a keg.

[B]

I love it. Everyone I've ever met from there is awesome.

[A]

We used to buy this beer called Rhinelander from the city called Rhinelander. And I'm not kidding, you could get like 24 bottles for like $6. And then if you took them all back, you'd get like a dollar fifty. And we. And it was the worst tasting beer ever.

[B]

No kidding.

[A]

No. You're not going to believe it, but. So we used to drink Rhinelander and then one night we were all drinking it and like three of us started getting hives and we were like, we got a. Me and two of my buddies had, like neck welts. And we were like, it's the Rhinelander.

[B]

Oh, paint thinner from squid bills. Yeah.

[A]

Yes, exactly. We still got the money for the bottles. We were like, hey.

[B]

My dad asked me. He was like, what did you drink in college? I was like, we could get a. A half. We could get 12 Keystone Lights for $5. He was like, whoa. I was like, yeah. I mean, and you kind of get a buzz after you drink 12, which is perfect.

[C]

I mean. Yeah, ours was Schaefer's.

[A]

I don't remember Shaffer. Oh, is that Popers?

[C]

No, it wasn't pop top, but it was just crazy cheap beer. Like dirt dirt cheap.

[B]

But it's also like mostly water.

[A]

So, like, yes, it's very hydrating.

[B]

That's why it's kind of fun. And for like, that's what like 20 to 22 year olds should be drinking.

[A]

Agreed. It's such a great. It's like a shandy.

[B]

Because the next day you're like, I kind of feel fine. You're like, yeah. You're pretty hydrated. Yeah. You drink 24 waters?

[A]

Yeah. Like two gallons of water.

[C]

Yeah. Last night you were hydrating all night.

[B]

So you had three real beers and then 24 waters after that you were hammered the whole time.

[A]

All new natty water.

[B]

It doesn't get to a problem to like 25 where I need three shots to one beer. And you're like, I've not paced. This is what a run.

[C]

Hammer used By wife in fight over world.

[A]

Well, that last words. Helpful. That last word is awesome.

[C]

No, but here's why. It all happened over Monday's issue of the Atlanta Daily World. So they fought over this paper.

[A]

I'm still. I'm. Oh, this paper is like, this is awesome.

[B]

One of them could read it and the other one didn't believe what they were reading.

[A]

Man. Paul Pelosi'd over our paper.

[C]

At least that was the cause. Told the doctors at Grady Hospital where James Williams, 132 and a half Chestnut street, appeared Monday night with deep lacerations on the back of his head, which he said were administered by his wife.

[A]

Administered.

[B]

Can we also. I think we do need. I just noticed this. They're giving everyone's home address.

[A]

Oh, yeah. It's a big player.

[C]

It never stops. No, that's all the seven until the seventies. 1970s. Yeah. It's a thing.

[B]

Is it okay, that is fascinating.

[A]

We're acting like it's fine because we've both come to terms with how insane it is, but it's totally insane.

[B]

It did took me three or four to be like, wait, no, they're literally.

[A]

Tell everyone where they live.

[C]

Everybody.

[B]

Well, and it's not like it's a huge secret anyway. It's like, yeah, there's like he owns.

[A]

I think it would still be fair to have privacy. I think that would be fun.

[C]

You can. This is a time when you could find everybody.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You went down Chestnut Street. There's four houses. So you're just like, oh, I bet it was that dude that did it right there. Yeah. Which makes me a policeman. Just being like, you guys weren't trying that hard at all.

[C]

Accompanying Williams was his mother, Ms. Lucy Williams, who in attempting to part her son and his battling wife, was struck over the head in the scuffle. According to the wife, she was reading the Atlanta Daily World when her husband insisted that she retire.

[A]

Oh, that's great.

[C]

She's reading the paper. He's like, go to bed.

[A]

It's time for you to.

[B]

Time.

[C]

I'm reading the paper.

[B]

You're going to sleep. It startled them, too. What are you doing? Go to bed.

[C]

This.

[A]

She takes a hammer to his head. Like, if you're going to get. She's like, if you're going to get hammered down, like, shouldn't it be over something worthwhile? Rather than be like, go to bed. Enough paper.

[C]

It gets better. Then she got. Then he got up, she said, and turned out the light.

[A]

Smart.

[C]

An argument followed the Turn out the.

[A]

Light is a good move.

[C]

Yeah. You're done. Bedtime for woman.

[A]

And then you get hammered.

[C]

Her husband bit her on the hand.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

It's escalating.

[B]

He sounds inebriated.

[A]

He's hammerable.

[C]

Yes. He sounds drunk as.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And she retaliated with four well aimed blows with a hammer.

[A]

So here's the thing.

[B]

She's seen a hammer. Have you seen a hammer?

[A]

You don't want to be pounded.

[B]

Most. It's very unforgiving.

[A]

And by the way, either ends a nightmare. But it's also. She had to have the hammer preset ready for this argument.

[B]

No. It might have been her newspaper reading hammer.

[A]

That's true too. The page turning hammer.

[C]

Put the hammer in the paper down and go to bed.

[A]

I would. I would posit that there's a chance that she knew he was gonna come in and be a real piece of about the paper. Like this was an ongoing argument.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So she prepped with a hammer.

[C]

Yep. She's like, let's go.

[A]

The second time you get hit with a hammer, you're like, fine, read it.

[C]

Well, like, if he. If he comes in here, there's not.

[B]

A hammer readily available unless you have prepped.

[A]

I think it's a prep hammer.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That she probably wasn't even reading. She probably just had it open to cover up the hammer she was about to beat him with.

[B]

So what happened?

[C]

She told. She told the world reporter, when I want to read my Atlanta World, I want to read it, and nothing can stop me.

[A]

This is great.

[B]

Even if this is the commercial, it's the best commercial I've ever heard.

[A]

Viral marketing.

[B]

It's the best commercially good. It's a script.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Williams was arrested on a charge of disorderly conduct and will face Judge cone today in Recorders Court. It doesn't say which Williams.

[A]

It's got to be hammer lady.

[C]

Maybe, but he also bit her.

[A]

I mean, he bit her and listen, I'm nobody. I'm not. Let me get ahead of it. I'm not saying a man should bite his wife, but the multiple hammerings is the more jailable offense out of the two do.

[C]

I don't know. You can get infection from.

[A]

All right, hold on. Let me do another take of that.

[B]

I think you got to live with it. It's who you are.

[A]

I think the husband should go. You just don't bite a lady so.

[C]

Much for me too.

[B]

Right?

[A]

No, I just think. I think that. I don't know what you guys.

[B]

I'm not even going Male, female. I just mean. Is coming at me.

[C]

Finally.

[B]

Whoa. If any human is coming at me.

[A]

Your. Your audio just went through a dramatic happen here too.

[B]

Is. It's a heads up. The new recording track created. You sons of.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Thanks. I don't want to learn more. This is a great.

[A]

This is the perfect ending to your episode, by the way. Just hearing your computer kind of charge and your audio completely shift. And now I hear a lawnmower.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It sounds like there's something. It sounds like there's a little. Like some sort of little bird on.

[A]

It sounds like you get WI fi.

[C]

Keep the electricity going.

[A]

Yeah. Like you're getting WI fi from the water world bug.

[B]

That is my solar is. I had to. I go through a lot of small jerkles.

[A]

We are hearing a hamster wheel.

[C]

Frog. Do you have a frog?

[A]

Frog.

[C]

I don't know your noises.

[A]

Billy, thank you for joining us. Yeah, it has to be. There's no coming back from this. Obviously.

[B]

I didn't touch anything.

[A]

Yes, you did, Billy. Thank you for joining us. People could go to BWD Tours.

[B]

BWD Tour.com.

[A]

Bwd Tour.

[B]

Google my name.

[A]

It sounds like your computer's charging. On again, off again. I don't want to.

[B]

Nothing has changed on my. I am.

[A]

A lot's changed. A lot.

[B]

Also, if anyone bites you, I think. I think you have. If anyone bites you, you get to hit him with a hammer, because that is. Yeah.

[A]

And by the way, for the record, gaslighting you is just a prank, so don't get too bent out of shape.

[B]

You paused right there when you said that. That was crazy.

[A]

I just want to listen to this. I want to listen to the sweet sounds of your homemade weather station. We love you, Billy.

[B]

All right.

[A]

It's way off September, my man. Some of these days you'll miss me, honey.

[B]

Some of these days.

[A]

Hey, Dollop fans, I know you love the dollop. You love listening to the dollop. Do you want to watch the dollop? You're like, gareth, what are you talking about? By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth. Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So if you want to go watch a five parter animation, which is actually like a 22 minute episode or 30 minute episode, I can't remember, of the rube. You can go to LakeSide Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the rube.

[B]

It.

[A]

It really genuinely kicks ass and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people. The more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one, so go there and watch the rube.