147 - The Past Times with Alex Pearlman

Summary

The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds

Episode 147 – The Past Times with Alex Pearlman

Original Release Date: October 17, 2025
Guest: Alex Pearlman

---

Overview

This episode of "The Past Times," a spinoff of The Dollop, brings comedian and internet commentator Alex Pearlman into the classic format: Dave picks a random historical newspaper, and he, Gareth, and the guest riff their way through its stories with a blend of absurdity, social commentary, and biting humor. In this round: June 2, 1955, the Toledo Blade. Along the way, the comedians discuss internet fame, jury duty nightmares, cold war brainwashing, the cyclical nature of American politics, and why shuffleboard can turn bloody.

---

Episode Highlights & Key Discussion Points

1. Introductions, Tours & Pearlman’s Journey to Internet Stardom (01:03–07:45)

• Dave runs down upcoming tour dates for the Dollop (skip ad content).
• Gareth welcomes Alex Pearlman and jokes about the “greatness” of their guests, leading into a discussion of Alex’s viral rise on TikTok and Instagram, his podcast Too Many Tabs, and the oddities of internet fame.
• Alex relates making politically charged content, being profiled in the New York Post, and attracting a weirdly divided following (“I had this very odd audience that was really 50/50 conservative and lib. But the conservative side always thought I was going to convert. They were always like, ‘He’s almost there, man,’ and I was like, ‘No, no.’” – Alex Pearlman, 03:04).
• The three riff on social media, trying to out-clown each other over who steals which podcast formula, and Alex’s signature approach to dumb internet rabbit-holes.

2. Podcast & Social Commentary: Navigating Misinformation & Content (05:49–07:45)

• Alex plugs Too Many Tabs, describing it as a “couple’s podcast about internet rabbit holes” with a tongue-in-cheek “dumb idiot” framing: “We both have general studies degrees from community college...if we’re wrong, get in the comments and tell us!” (06:43).

3. The Newspaper Game: Guessing the Year & Setting the Scene (07:46–10:30)

• Gareth and Alex attempt to guess the year of Dave's newspaper (Alex guesses 1927, Gareth: 1903); the answer: 1955.
• Chatter about MASH* and famous finales, including an elaborate riff about killing babies as the ultimate "jumping the shark" moment (10:41 onwards).

4. Main Newspaper Stories & Hilarious Reactions

A. “Resisted Brainwashing” – US Airmen Released by China (13:23–20:01)

• Detailed read-through of the story about four American flyers imprisoned in China, their “resistance” to brainwashing, and the politics of confessions.
• Gareth: “Imagine if China was doing that. I mean, they sent a weather balloon over and we lost our minds.” (14:25)
• Arctic turns to Balloon Boy and the media’s appetite for distraction.
• Quote: “What do you think the theme song would be for Guantanamo Bay?” (12:03, Dave Anthony) → devolves into dark humor about torture songs and kids’ music.

B. McCarthyism, Its Echoes & Political Insanity (18:20–21:01)

• Discussion of how American politicians’ statements echo in international press and affect prisoners’ treatment. Dave and Alex compare McCarthy to contemporary figures, musing on how modern politics doubles down on “the ruse.”
• Alex: “Growing up, being taught McCarthyism was bad...and now we’re in a period where there’s like, 35% of the country is like, ‘No, that guy was great. We should do that four times, all the time, with a bunch of different stuff.’” (18:20)

C. Jury Duty: The Jury Kidnappings of Toledo (25:28–31:08)

• 1955 article reveals US marshals “kidnapping” pedestrians for jury duty.
• The comedians riff on dodging jury duty, with Gareth calling jury summons "awful" and Dave spoofing his techniques for getting out of serving (“I love pedophiles.” – Dave, 27:18, a quote gleefully flagged for viral out-of-context edits).
• Gareth: “I do like the idea that it’s like a DUI. Someone could be like, ‘Don’t go that way, they’re doing jury duty,’ and you could outrun your summons.” (26:36)

D. Shuffleboard Rage: Full-Contact in 1950s America (66:15–68:39)

• A shuffleboard game in a tavern ends with a woman needing 16 stitches and a man in jail.
• “Who gets that mad at shuffleboard?” asks Dave (67:19), sparking more incredulity and tales of bar games gone wrong.

E. Old School Advice Columns & Intergenerational Psychodramas (61:43–65:53)

• The crew reads a 1950s advice column about a “mama’s boy”; all agree: move on, girl.
• Alex: “There’s clearly something mentally being happening to him from his own mom for a very long time... now there’s a whole thing on the internet about boy moms...” (64:53)

5. Notable Mini-Segments & Absurdities

• Jury summons as forced conscription (29:27)
• Presidential threat laws come into play (33:37)
• Ted Nugent, cancel culture, and the politics of who gets canceled for what (35:09–36:22)
• The Shakespeare conspiracy: Attempts to dig up a tomb to prove authorship (“I mean, the theory is fine. It’s an acceptable conspiracy. It’s just so old.” – Dave, 46:33)

6. Threads of Modernity: Politics, Fame, & Satire

• Alex brings up his podcast’s take on "dumb but earnest" coverage of internet trends, and how he and his wife try to balance fact and hilarious speculation.
• They poke fun at modern podcasting, the Rogan-verse, TikTok celebrity, and comedians who “play dumb.”

---

Notable Quotes

• Alex Pearlman [03:04]:
  “I had this very odd audience for a while that was really 50/50 conservative and lib. But the conservative side always thought I was going to convert. They were always like, ‘He’s almost there, man.’ And I was like, ‘No, no.’ I’m really mad that the libs aren’t living hard enough.”
• Dave Anthony [18:09]:
  “Asked if Senator McCarthy figured in this, Captain Fisher smiled and said loudly, ‘Yes.’”
• Gareth Reynolds [27:18]:
  “Eight weeks? I love pedophiles.” (meta-joke on getting off jury duty)
• Alex Pearlman [64:53]:
  “It was like, that is how so it was in 1955. There’s clearly something mentally being happening to him from his own mom for a very long time.”
• Dave Anthony [46:31]:
  “The theory is fine. It’s an acceptable conspiracy theory. Like it’s got…that’s the old conspiracy theories I like.”

---

Episode Timestamps

| Segment | Description | Timestamps | |---------|-------------|------------| | Intro, Tour Plugs | Dave and Gareth banter, plug live dates (skip ads) | 00:00–01:03 | | Pearlman’s Internet Rise | Story of viral fame, TikTok, Too Many Tabs | 01:03–07:45 | | Podcast Structure & Newspaper Game | Explaining the episode structure and guessing the year | 07:45–10:30 | | MASH and Finale Riffs | TV endings, absurdity escalates | 10:30–13:10 | | Main Newspaper Segment | 1955, airmen in China, cold war | 13:23–21:01 | | Jury Kidnappings | Hilarious dissection of forced civic duty | 25:28–31:08 | | Shuffleboard Assault Story | Full-contact tavern shuffleboard | 66:15–68:39 | | Advice Column on Mama’s Boy | 1950s romantic woes, modern parallels | 61:43–65:53 | | Shakespeare Conspiracy | Tomb raiding to reveal the “real” author | 38:12–47:15 | | Closing, Plugs | Pearlman’s and Gareth’s closing pitches | 68:57–70:24 |

---

Notable Highs, Running Bits, and Memorable Moments

• Recurring Riff on Out-of-Context Clips:
  They’re hyper-aware that random soundbites (“I love pedophiles”) could be edited into viral clips—fueling their self-referential humor.
• Shakespeare and Marlowe Conspiracy Debates:
  Old-timey conspiracy theories get the full modern culture-war treatment.
• Pink Streets in LA, Infrastructure Neglect:
  A 1950s proposal to paint LA roads pink spurs both nostalgia for failed urban planning funkiness and modern-day climate/surface heat musings.
• Old People in the Senate:
  Searing criticism of gerontocracy, with references to Jerry Connelly and the perennial presence of elderly lawmakers.

---

Episode Tone

Sharp, irreverent, politically attuned, with a persistent undercurrent of skepticism about authority, institutions, and the media. The comedians’ interplay mixes smart historical context with wild tangent humor and self-parody—a signature Dollop blend.

---

Where to Find the Guests

Alex Pearlman: On all socials as “Pearl Mania 500”; podcast: Too Many Tabs

Closing Quote [69:12]:
“...to be on, it’s been a real treat for me.” – Alex Pearlman

---

For fans new and old, this episode is a densely packed riff-fest that’s as smart as it is absurd—offering new angles on everything from 1950s brainwashing to 2020s podcast warfare, all woven together with irrepressible comic chemistry.

Transcript

[Dave Anthony]

Foreign. It is fall 2025. The Dollop Podcast is going on tour in October. October 20th will be at the Vic Theater in Chicago. October 21st will be at the Kent Stage in Cleveland. October 22nd, Lincoln Theater in Columbus, Ohio. October 23rd, the Old National center in Indianapolis. The 26th, the Barrymore Theater in Madison. The 27th, Turner hall in Milwaukee. 28th, Pantages Theater, Minneapolis. October 29th, the Uptown Theater in Kansas City. And then finally, October 30th, we will be at Cervantes. Cervantes Masterpiece Ballroom in Denver, Colorado. You go to get tickets@dollar podcast.com tour that is this. October 2025.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, everybody. Welcome to the Pastimes podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I've never seen it before. And neither is our guest this week, the great Alex Perlman. The great Bo Burns. They're great.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, Birds.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I say great for most of the guests, but this. We are very excited to have you on for a number of reasons. Selfishly for our content, but also you. How long has your blow up been? It feels like you've really exploded in a year. Like people are people stopping you on the street at this point.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, I mean, I get noticed. I mean, the thing is, it's Internet fame, right? So it's one of those things. I was, I. I got bigger on Tick Tock years ago. Like when it first took off for me was like three years ago on Tick Tock. I made a video and it. It went pretty big. And then the New York Post wrote an article about me. I said, that can't be good.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, wow.

[Alex Perlman]

And then James Wood was like, they didn't interview you? They didn't interview me? No, I didn't get interviewed at all. They wrote an article about my Tick Tock.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Alex Perlman]

And then.

[Dave Anthony]

Not positive, I assume.

[Alex Perlman]

No, it was positive because I was really mad at it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Oh, it was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, great.

[Alex Perlman]

It was right after, so.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, we. We love her.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, I know. You guys are big heads.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. We call this the Pelosi house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry, I'm going to jump in. We don't say Pelosi head since the.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, yeah, no, that's. That's true.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah. No, we're Pelosi bottoms.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Alex Perlman]

Got him as a Pelosi top. I was listening. I remember when Roe v. Wade got overturned, they. Everyone who has ever given a dollar to a Democrat anywhere in the country got like 15 text messages asking for $12. And I got really mad about that because I'm like, I know that our Congress people are really rich, so I made a TikTok and I just listed all of the richest people in the House of Representatives, including Nancy Pelosi. And I'm like, stop texting me. Call your guy. You know how to make money, you know how to insider trade.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And a lot of people that really resonated with a lot of people. Some of those people were James woods and Joe Rogan. But I was like, no, no. And so I, I had this very odd audience for a while that was really 50, 50 conservative and lib. But the conservative side always thought I was going to convert. They were always like, he's almost there, man. And I was like, no, no.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

I'm really mad that the libs aren't living hard enough. Like, they're not like, I'm, I'm not over here. Like, hey, tomorrow they're gonna, they're, you know, they're gonna do this and suddenly, like, turn on trans people. I'm like, no. I. I'm like, really, really mad that they're not following up on any of the stuff that they've said they're gonna follow for all the decades of my lives. And so those complaints really resonated weirdly with like, mid Midwestern moms and a bunch of other things. But I grew on TikTok to a certain point. My wife and I started our podcast Too many Tabs. And Instagram has really taken off for me since the, since the end of the election because finally stopped doing political suppression on that app.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right. He did. And I think he started doing that because of COVID stuff.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, it was. But around this election they had a little toggle and I was, I was one of the local. So I was like, this is great.

[Dave Anthony]

Were you really? Yeah, because you're, you're, you're a loudmouth. Yeah, we'd call you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

I'm pretty. I'm pretty opinionated about things that don't make billionaires happy often.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But also so funny. I mean, it really. I. I don't know, I think, like, it. You are just a very entertaining follow. So any where can people follow you? Where's the best place for people?

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, they can follow me on almost everything on Pearl Mania 500. And I'm actually, I am also a stand up. I've been doing stand up over 20 years. I'm opening for Walt Matterson and in Philadelphia at Helium Comedy Club. I think that's October 30th but yeah, if you follow me on Instagram, Instagram's the best place to find out the other stuff I'm doing. That's probably the best place to go there. And then my podcast, Too Many Tabs.

[Dave Anthony]

Tick Tock, was just bought by fascists.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, No, I know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's why it's gonna be great. Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Well, technically speaking, they've kind of owned it the whole time. It's weird.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm actually making a tik tok about it. And your podcast, you ripped us off.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, no, it started off as a developer, admitted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I.

[Alex Perlman]

That's how I opened it. You guys were like, hey, how are you doing? I'm like, I stole your show. How are you? How are you? There's so many. You guys were the first pod. The dog was the first pot I ever heard of. Guy does research, and then dumb little clown reacts for the list.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, now I'll jump in here. I think, like, it's my time to jump in, obviously.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Everything but the nose, right?

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, Everything but the nose.

[Dave Anthony]

We almost called it that.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, really?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Everything but the no would have been a great title.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. But my podcast, you know, couples, a lot of times, you know, you click around too much on the Internet and you kind of follow down these rabbit holes. So our podcast became. My wife and I. Here's a thing. We've been obsessing over this week and kind of describing it to each other. So, like, I did an episode on Elon Musk, racist grandfather. We just did an episode on, like, the many controversies of elf beauty, the history of jubilee, stuff like that. Like those. So, you know, that's been doing.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, too many tabs is my life. Because doing research for this. Sometimes I'm doing research for, like, four episodes at once, and I. I literally have, like, 50 tabs open, and then I have to use the little thing that consolidates them.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And takes them off the tab. So. And then I've got, like, 150 of those.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you're. What you're saying, let's steal his shit.

[Dave Anthony]

He does it better. We should probably just take his idea. We should. One week after he does his episodes. We should do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We should just call it the clap Back. We just clap back. And Alex is. Too many tabs. Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

You should come in, because my wife, I like to remind everybody that we both have general studies degrees from community college. So, like, so how many people are on the Internet who are like, hey, I've discovered this thing about carrots. If you eat these, you'll never get cancer. And you're like, well, what's your rate? And they're always like speech therapy. And I'm like, what the fuck? And so we like to remind people constantly we're just dumb idiots. And like, this is what we found interesting. And please, if we're wrong, get in the comments and tell us. And that helps drive engagement.

[Dave Anthony]

How many carrots do you have to eat?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, what are we number wise? Like what, what should I guess? Just to quickly follow up on that, what are the carrot numbers?

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, so, well, first thing is make sure that you're bought into a Cariff etf so that way you can make money on the other side. And then I want to say, I want to say anywhere from 2467 carats a day.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow, I can do that.

[Alex Perlman]

That's all I can do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You really, you think we can handle it?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. I mean, I'll need to sit over a bucket, but yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a, this is a lifestyle choice. But I'm, I've been looking to get a little more orange, especially in this day and age.

[Alex Perlman]

You'll be dropping more than a dollop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey. Oh, and we're back. Well, Alex, thank you for joining us. We are very excited. So you know what we do here? We're going to go through a newspaper from who knows when Dave has it, you're gonna guess what year you think it's from. I don't know. You don't know? You will be, right? Because Dave, I, I don't know if he hates me, but even the way he's looking at me right now, it's not reassuring.

[Dave Anthony]

Everything but the nose.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, but. So why don't you. You guess. Could be 1700s. Probably won't be. Could be 1950. Could be 1980. Probably not, but go ahead.

[Alex Perlman]

I, I heard the Auntie Donna episode where you guys did like the 1600s, and I, I just want to say I really wish I lived in a time where a hat and a tree was the most pressing issue.

[Dave Anthony]

No, that was a crazy. I still think about that episode sometimes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's hard to, it is hard to not have envy for that, that era. Yes. I mean, there's such a trade off, though. It's like, like imagine if, you know, sometimes, like, you'll help your buddy move and your butt will be chafed. You know, that was an incurable death sentence back then. Now you just got to get a little gold bond on it. All right, Alex, go ahead. Consider cleaning, Alex, go ahead.

[Alex Perlman]

All right, I'm going to Guess, given the time, I'm going to go with 1927.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like it. Safe. I like it. I like that play. I like that play a lot. Yeah, I do. I like that play a lot. I mean, I like that play a lot.

[Alex Perlman]

Quiet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm in the middle of my guess. 1903.

[Dave Anthony]

You're wrong. It's 1955. Alex. Congratulations.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Way to go, Alex. No, that was a genuine win. And good for you. I think that's awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I do.

[Dave Anthony]

By the way, Gareth doesn't like when you talk to him and you say Gareth at the end of every sentence.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, that was you earlier.

[Dave Anthony]

Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it just gets. It gets weird when it's like eight times in a row.

[Dave Anthony]

June 2, 1955, which is a Thursday. The Toledo Blade.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, the Toledo.

[Dave Anthony]

Great Toledo, by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A low rent superhero that not enough people talk about. What, the Toledo Blade? Yeah, that guy.

[Dave Anthony]

Really good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Really did a lot of stuff. Yeah, he thought. He thought everyone was a vampire. I said, yeah, go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

How'd you first learn about Toledo, the city of Toledo? Do you remember? Yeah, mash.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You think he does this MASH stuff? Did you watch Mash or Alex? MASH the show?

[Alex Perlman]

No, I saw it. I saw it, like, as it was going off the air. I was born in 1984. So, like, I saw like, the end of MASH and everybody, like, my dad being like, we got to watch the end of Match. And I was like, I want to watch the Flintstones on reruns.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

From back in the day, I saw MASH on tv. I was like, no, my wife.

[Dave Anthony]

That was one of the huge.

[Alex Perlman]

Match.

[Dave Anthony]

The Final Episode is one of the highest rated television programs of all time, which is crazy because it was so bad at that point. It was so off the rails.

[Alex Perlman]

That's the one where they killed the baby.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

They kill a baby.

[Dave Anthony]

Crazy way to go out.

[Alex Perlman]

I know about them killing the baby. Not because I've ever seen the episode, but because of the NPR Radio Lab episode about it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, that's true? Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

No, they have to kill a baby.

[Dave Anthony]

In the final episode.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, there's this whole thing.

[Dave Anthony]

They also did that on the final episode of Seinfeld and Cheers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dancing. Threw it into a chandelier.

[Alex Perlman]

If you go to tvtropes.com and you look up killing, it's like killing the baby, jumping the shark, and then, you know, whatever Mr.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Beast is doing, you know. That was when Happy Days killed the baby, in my opinion.

[Dave Anthony]

Could you imagine being in that writer's room?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

Should we Kill the baby.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, the show's called Mash. Should we really mash it? I don't think it's a good idea.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, they were gonna. They were gonna call the show, spiking it in the end zone, but they changed.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, the movie is. You know, it has very serious, dramatic.

[Alex Perlman]

I love the movie. I think the show. The show has its moments. It's. It's really good. It's just. It's one of those things where it went longer than the actual conflict, which.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is, you know, by the way, which is why the United States adjusted its foreign policy. Like, we'll be everywhere forever, just in case we want to make another sitcom about occupation.

[Alex Perlman]

Well, listen, point. We're gonna bring back Must See tv. At some point, we're gonna get these cable rates back. Okay, baby, what do you think?

[Dave Anthony]

What do you think the theme song would be for Guantanamo Bay?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God. That would be. I'll write it.

[Alex Perlman]

Wasn't it the. The. The song that never ends? Wasn't that one of the things they torture the people with? It was like that. Like the Barney song. Like they were playing like crazy. Yeah, like kids music at them.

[Dave Anthony]

Which.

[Alex Perlman]

That. As a new parent. That's terrifying.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, oh, absolutely horrendous.

[Alex Perlman]

Listen, I have Elmo singing Wake Up, Potty Time, eating brush running through my head every moment of the day. If someone else was doing it to me, I. It wouldn't be good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that is. That takes a whole new dark twist.

[Dave Anthony]

One of the ways they got Noriega out of his mansion was they kept blasting rock music. It was ACD scene stuff, and I was like, really?

[Alex Perlman]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They rock too hard.

[Alex Perlman]

Playing Panama Adam.

[Dave Anthony]

It's just dancing there.

[Alex Perlman]

He's like, this is literally the song of my people. Toledo Blade. Is that still a newspaper? Does that still exist or. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No way.

[Dave Anthony]

No, no. I really doubt it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Although 55. It could look it up. Someone's gonna yell at. Someone's yelling at dirt.

[Alex Perlman]

It's probably been bought up by a billionaire who's using it for fake news algorithmic SEO purposes.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. As it should be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

Resisted brain washing for freed US Flyers say. Whoa.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, still a paper.

[Dave Anthony]

Still a paper.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Pleaded guilty at trial to violating Red China's airspace. Four American flyers ready to meet their families today after more than two years in communist Chinese prisons. Said they had resisted brainwashing but pleaded guilty of violating Chinese airspace. Hmm. Probably because they violated Chinese airspace.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. Doesn't sound like us. You know, the best airspace.

[Alex Perlman]

The best part Is it's just a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Funny place to put a line.

[Alex Perlman]

Anyway, if you had read that title to be first and then be like, what year do you think this is? I would have probably guessed 1999. Because then we have, like, yeah, we had that. We've done this, like, multiple times.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We. We keep doing it.

[Dave Anthony]

We do love to fly over time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We love to fly. And we also are now into, like, ocean. Like, ocean wise.

[Dave Anthony]

We're like, yeah, we like to. We like to go up again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are you gonna do about it?

[Dave Anthony]

Imagine it. Imagine if China was doing that. I mean, they sent a. They sent a weather balloon over and we lost our minds.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, to be fair about that, you know what?

[Alex Perlman]

If they really wanted us to not pay attention? They should have put a kid in the balloon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A bubble. You talking about a bubble? Balloon boy. Balloon boy. Yeah. But that ended up. He was never actually got. We never got to live out the fantasy because balloon boy was just in an addict because his dad was a crackhead.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then he was on the Today show and they were interviewing, and the kid was like, I never went in it. And they were like, all right, son.

[Alex Perlman]

I. I love that. That, like, was everywhere.

[Gareth Reynolds]

For about.

[Alex Perlman]

What was that? That was like. That was a 12 nuts hours. And then everyone else is like, all right, I guess we're gonna move back on to the war on terror.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. No, well, you talk about, like the hat and the tree and the six. That was like, you know, we get those moments where the keys get jingled in space. Yeah. And that was definitely one.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, I got a laboo right here, boy.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, exactly.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, so they had five was in theirs. It was four flyers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, four, four, four.

[Dave Anthony]

Four flyers. I mean, just say what they are. In their first press conference since release Tuesday near Hong Kong, the airmen said yesterday that they spent long period. They're going out of their way to not say that they're in the air force.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, right.

[Dave Anthony]

They're going out of their way to. To.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're commercial pilots.

[Dave Anthony]

We're just air guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, we're just guys with planes.

[Dave Anthony]

It's just crazy. The airman said yesterday that they spent long periods in solitary confinement, did not get letters from home until after the Geneva conference last summer, and thought UN Secretary General Dag Hammersjold was helpful in obtaining their freedom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dag was a great.

[Dave Anthony]

Dag. Was great. Good.

[Alex Perlman]

Good guy. Get good guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dag. Yeah, great Dag. Well, that doesn't. I mean, it's just you always think about, like, how we do it now. And you're just like, Jesus. I mean, like we were saying, think of Guantanamo. You're like, I didn't get any letters. I mean, it's like a counselor being upset.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Asked if a confession was required at their trial, Captain Harold E. Fisher of Sweet City, Iowa, Sue Swee. S W E A Swee.

[Alex Perlman]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. All right.

[Alex Perlman]

Whoops.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Imagine my thinking of your mispronunciation of Sue. I'm gonna go see the tribe today. They're the swee.

[Dave Anthony]

He said, no, not at the trial. Was there a confession before the trial? I believe I'll wait until I see my lawyer before answering that question.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, we got a. Yeah, we got a ye. Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Another airman said Captain Fish's reply would stand for all of them. What? He said?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Him all of a slice of that. Yeah, we're gonna.

[Alex Perlman]

We're gonna follow whatever our boss from the plane says. Yeah, yeah. What a plane boss say? Yeah, that's. That's, that's what we did.

[Dave Anthony]

That's. Yeah, that guy. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or the one goes rogue. Actually, if I may, Hank. Oh, sorry.

[Dave Anthony]

Asked if anti communist statements by US politicians had any effect on their treatment. Imagine they would never ask that Today, Captain Fisher said statements by American politicians of this sort always appeared in communist newspapers. Naturally, we wanted better relations. We did feel it was better not to say some of the things they did. Asked if Senator McCarthy figured in this, Captain Fisher smiled and said loudly, yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Every day listening to communist Trump.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh my God.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah. They're just like, God, McCarthy, shut the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shut up, you idiot.

[Dave Anthony]

Shut up.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, he. Every time I see a picture of McCarthy, to me, McCarthy and Ted Cruz look very similar. I think that all the time whenever I see. Yeah. It's also really weird going through a time period where like I growing up, being taught, like, McCarthyism's bad. Senator McCarthy was an evil dude, an alcoholic, and all these other bad, bad things about him. And now we're in a period where there's like, like 35 of the company. Country is like, no, that guy was great. We should do that. We should double. We should do. We should do that four times all.

[Dave Anthony]

The time with a bunch of different stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Never do, like. But he also didn't. It all kind like it was breaking down. Obviously. It was like 10 years or however long of him doing that. But then there's just another like, senator who's like, dude, stop. And then everyone was kind of like, yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I can't remember who called him out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But like there's There's a public hearing where there's some guy is just like.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, there was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ruining everything.

[Dave Anthony]

There was a moment where a guy was just like, enough, bro.

[Alex Perlman]

And everyone was like, yeah, sir, Is what he yelled.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Something like that. He's like. And like, imagine that now. Like somebody turning.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

To a Ted Cruz or whatever thing they're growing in Florida this week and be like, do you have no dignity? And he's like, like. And subscribe. I have a podcast. We have a whole country, a whole government, currently brought to us by.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, the lesson they learned from that was never let the ruse stop. Yeah. Like, they were like, just don't ever admit that it's total.

[Dave Anthony]

Although I think it's good to have a podcaster in charge of the FBI. Is that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do, too. I think it's going.

[Alex Perlman]

I tell you, I think he has his eye on at least multiple balls at the same time, because.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Certainly does not.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They are focused on something. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And it ain't reality. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I will see if I see him in Valhalla. Oh, that'll be awkward. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Especially because you'll have. You'll both have.

[Alex Perlman]

Imagine if you're trying to get into Valhalla and they're like, do you have Cash Patel's promo code? You're like, damn it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Alex Perlman]

I wrote it down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You can get into Valhalla a little quicker if you have a Cash Patel promo code. Yeah, I see him. I'm like, what are the other options? Is there another place I can go? I don't know if Valhalla's right. Is there another place?

[Dave Anthony]

Is there a Valhalla, too?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you have? I just gotta. I'll go to hell. I'll go to Hades. What are we doing? Hades? I'll go there.

[Alex Perlman]

Honestly, Purgatory. For as much as the Catholics. Like, like, hey, purgatory bad. I'm like, I don't know. Just sounds like a waiting room. Do I have a phone?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a way. It is a waiting room. It's not the best.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not that bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

It doesn't sound that bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's better than the icu. Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Do they have Judge Judy on the tv? But it's always Judge Judy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Highlights. There's. There's, like, a few highlight. Meg. I'll party with some highlights. Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You never get too old to figure out the differences.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, girl.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, look, it's fall. It's the fall season. We got football. We got cooler beers. We're hanging out later. Without getting all hot. But look, if you're wearing the same old boxers, if you're getting. If you got the old last winners boxers on, it's time to take it up a notch. And we're talking about me undies. Super soft. Crazy soft. Very breathable, because I know you have a very pungent area down there. They're made with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They've worked with me very, very carefully.

[Dave Anthony]

They're made with micromodal fabric. It feels like a cloud, but, you know, still hanging. Everything in there. You know what I mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I'm sure we've all been flying and thought, I would love to know what that feels like to jump through that crotch first.

[Dave Anthony]

Absolutely. You know, and. And now. And now it's the spooky time of year, Gareth. It's Halloween. There's ghosts and there's goblins about. And of course, Meundies has a limited edition Halloween line. It's fun. It's festive. Well, they have these death of me ones that are. There's, like skulls and little orange flowers, because that's the color of the season.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why don't you ask my friend Dracula about.

[Alex Perlman]

About that?

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, Dracula, what undies are you gonna get?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have the glow in the dark me undies with the bats. What?

[Dave Anthony]

What? But they have skulls. They have. They've got the jack O Lanterns, I think it's called. They got webs. They got a spider web situation. If you want a spider web on your.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I better tell you, it's been so long since anyone's been down there, there's many cobwebs.

[Dave Anthony]

So spook out your lady or your fellow with some underwears. I'm probably just gonna wear the. The brief spider web, and that'll be my Halloween costume.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why don't we do that? We're about to go on tour. Why don't we each wear the same pair of underwear the whole tour without washing them? The same pair sounds great the whole time.

[Alex Perlman]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

And I'm sure it'll be fine. Yeah. Right now, as a listener of our show, you can get cozy and spooky for less with deals up to 50 [e-mail] dollop and enter promo code dollop. That's meundies.com dolla promo. All up for up to 50 off me undies. Comfort that's made for fall and all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't understand, Gareth.

[Dave Anthony]

We're also brought to you by Mint Mobile. I don't know how many people out there are still paying crazy amounts for wireless, but it's time to stop that. Admit Mobile their favor. Word is no. No contracts, no monthly bills, no overage, no hidden fees, no bs. Yep. And I made the switch. And getting premium wireless now for 15 bucks a month.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but you had to get rid of your phone number and your phone.

[Dave Anthony]

No, I didn't. Gareth, you keep your phone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shut up.

[Dave Anthony]

Keep your phone number, you keep it all. You just get a new carrier. Wow. They all come with high speed data and unlimited talking text on the nation's largest 5G network.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

Which is pretty sweet. You can, like I said, use your own phone. Any Mint Mobile plan, you can use your own phone, bring your phone number and that's it, you're good to go. We've been using it. We use it on the road, we use it at home. We get data, we get phone calls, we get texts. It's everything you need from a phone. Less money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Your phone, less money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The phone works the exact same.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dave Anthony]

And your phone tastes like mint.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, we've been told to not say stuff like that.

[Dave Anthony]

You can lick your phone and it's gonna be minty.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Lick your phone and it's going to taste the same. But you shouldn't know what it tastes like. Originally we they've. Check your email. They're not happy about this talking.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't think that's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, I know you don't, but be quiet. Stop.

[Dave Anthony]

Ready to say yes to saying no? Make the switch@mint mobile.com pastimes that's mint mobile.com pastimes Upfront payment of 45 required, equivalent to $15 a month. Limited time. New customer offer for three first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan taxes and fees. Extra cement. Mobile for details. Taste your phone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

13 kidnapped and it's legal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is the last part about.

[Dave Anthony]

13 unaware pedestrians walking by the United States courthouse here were tapped yesterday by U.S. marshals and ordered inside to complete a jury.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, they jury kidnapped. Just walking. That's. That is awful. At least jury duty. You're like, toss it. Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

What if Trump. What if Trump had ice forces out grabbing people to do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're on a jury now.

[Alex Perlman]

No, honestly, I'm actually. I'm actually like, yeah, okay. Like, that's. I'm.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm.

[Alex Perlman]

Weirdly for this. Of all the ways the government's kidnapping people to do jury duty.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Alex Perlman]

Also, it's like, at least, you know, it's, it's. I always worry with the jury duty summons and stuff like that, that like, the people who do show up are like, maybe I'll get the hot case. You know what I mean? If you're just walking down the street, like, oh, man, I really could go for a bologna sandwich. They are 1955. And then some guys, like, get in here. You gotta wake up, you know? What about insider trading?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I also like the idea that, like, the way we do it is so weird. I do like the idea that it's like a dui. Like, someone could be like, don't go that way. They're doing jury duty. And you're like, oh, like, being able to outrun your summons, like, that'd be awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A way to test. You'd be like, go, go left, left, left.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, there's a little jury duty warning on your ways.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, I. I've met people who refuse to register to vote because they thought that's how they pull. Jerry. I did summons.

[Dave Anthony]

That's how it is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was told that for a while, but no, then I got one.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they got you another way at some other way. I think they started doing it through driver's licenses. Yeah, I know. Last time I went in for jury duty, they were like, I had to probably be an eight week trial. And I was like, I love pedophiles.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, dude, eight weeks, my. I'll. That's a clip, by the way. That's.

[Alex Perlman]

That's the Instagram clip right there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're out. All right.

[Alex Perlman]

As somebody who understands social media, it's.

[Dave Anthony]

It's Dave yelling that someone's gonna turn that into a.

[Alex Perlman]

It's a tick tock edit. And then just as I cut back and forth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love pedophiles. We've got to find a better way. I'll outrun the summons. I love pedophiles.

[Alex Perlman]

It's like that Australia guy was yelling. I can even imagine somebody getting dragged in for jury duty. He's like, what's the charge?

[Gareth Reynolds]

A succulent meal.

[Alex Perlman]

A succulent Chinese meal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Succulent D. That man's hands on my penis. Yeah. My penis.

[Dave Anthony]

Federal Judge Edward Dimick acted under Title 28, United States Code, Section 1866, providing for just such a contingency to compete as panel trying a narcotics case.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. Just to go from a walk to being like. So I'm on a, like, a narcotic jury now.

[Dave Anthony]

It's like a guy who had a joint.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

It's 1955. It's like. It's like dirt weed with seeds in it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Trying to murder everyone in Toledo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Meanwhile, he's Just like picking seeds out of his mouth.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, they have him on. They have him on the stand like, why did you smoke weed? Why are you doing marijuana? He's like, because I'm in Ohio. What else am I supposed to do?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Toledo. I meant Toledo.

[Dave Anthony]

Veteran court attaches had to push their memories back more than 20 years to recall the last time this statute was enforced. Protests rendered by the tagged strollers included incredulity. What kind of a gag is this? I've got a ticket to sail to Europe tomorrow. Outrage. This is like, being.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've got a ticket to say that if I get called on another jury, I will be saying that verbatim.

[Dave Anthony]

They don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I cannot. Tomorrow I have a ticket to sail to Europe.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, you wouldn't get called in LA anymore, but in la, they do not take any excuses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I, I. The last time I was almost put on a jury, I had to get kicked off the jury. And I, I played a racist card. But there was a guy before me who got thrown off, and he just literally goes, I don't believe in law. And the judge was like, what? And he was like, laws don't exist to me. And she was like, what do you mean? And he, like, couldn't even define it properly, but she was just like.

[Dave Anthony]

Go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like. It was just. And then I, I was like, God, that was pretty good.

[Dave Anthony]

The. The time before the last one, that was gonna be eight weeks. They. It was a guy who was accused of bombing, like, a bomb threat or something. And I, I heard the charges and I was like, this sounds a little rigged, but of course, that was my first thought. I was like, someone took some liberties with the law here. But then they go, does anybody have a problem with law enforcement? I was like, oh, yeah, then. And then she goes. I go, I think they lie all the time, Constantly, endlessly. And she goes, okay. And then she tries to trick me up and, like, get me. Like, she's clearly had people say this before. And she's trying to go, and we're going back. I'm going back and forth with the judge.

[Alex Perlman]

She didn't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She didn't know who she was.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I was, like, raised by a district attorney. Like, I just went through all this, all this, the stuff that's happened. And finally she was like, okay, you're dismissed. And I turn around and the defense attorney looks at me and goes, like. He's just like, nice job.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See you in Valhalla.

[Alex Perlman]

I'm afraid to say it, but I've never. I can't I've never been called, but I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You never happen.

[Alex Perlman]

Never. It's never happened.

[Dave Anthony]

I literally.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I literally see what we can do.

[Dave Anthony]

I can never serve on a jury because that's. My belief is that I just. Having been raised the way I was, and everything I've seen, I think that they lie constantly.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. I'm of the. The mindset of. I want to see. I'm different because I'm a millennial. So I want to get inside the system and break it down from the inside.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

I not only want to be that, I want to be the foreign. And then I want to come in.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Angry Men and be like, guys, we're all making. What is it, like a dollar 75 an hour right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Foreman. Excuse me, Mr. Foreman. Mr. Foreman.

[Dave Anthony]

Well. Well, that's the crazy thing about a jury, is no one can afford to live.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Already. And now you're going to take away a week's pay.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The fact that that excuse is. That has no validity is amazing. I can't afford to, like. Yeah, but this is your duty. You're like, but I can't.

[Dave Anthony]

I literally will lose my apartment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I lost my mind when I got put on a jury.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I went. My mother was like, I've never seen you so upset. I was like, I. Like, there was gonna be a trial, a jury.

[Dave Anthony]

People cannot afford it.

[Alex Perlman]

They're literally like, it's. It's your. It's your constitutional duty. As they point to the flaming constitution in the corner, and you're like, okay, yeah. Me being here for the next eight weeks, that's gonna fix that fire over there. All right. Sure, sure, sure, sure.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, the worst was my wife got put as an alternate on a jury, and she couldn't say anything. And she was like, it was so clear. The cops had lied and just framed this kid. Like, it was so obvious. And they convicted the bench, and she's just sitting. Going to make me. She was just losing her mind. Ah, okay. Federal. Oh, I did that. Protests rendered included tax drollers including. What kind of a gag is this? I've got a ticket to sale to Europe tomorrow. Outrage. This is like being kidnapped or Shanghai. And just plain resignation. It's almost worse than the army. Before you know it, you're on a truck and you're on your way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I. Okay, now, I am very against what they did, but that person's hyperbole is off the charts.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm going to die in Vietnam.

[Dave Anthony]

Two of the Shanghai pedestrians were chosen for jury.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Only two?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, okay.

[Dave Anthony]

It's probably all they needed. And they just grabbed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right?

[Dave Anthony]

A lot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Threats made crime. President Eisenhower signed a bill yesterday to make threats against the life of the vice president and a president elect, as well as against the president, punishable by a thousand dollar fine and imprisonment up to five years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. It's the seeds. The sweet seeds.

[Alex Perlman]

Well, I got no jokes about that. Let's move on to the next one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nope. All right. Yeah, that seems fine. No problem there. Hey, well, here's the. Here's an idea. Don't make yourself so killable.

[Alex Perlman]

I want to let you know, I'm a little. I'm a little beyond there. Anyway. No, it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's.

[Alex Perlman]

That's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was.

[Alex Perlman]

I didn't realize that was until Eisenhower.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You could.

[Alex Perlman]

That wasn't a lot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is wild.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. I think you should be able to threaten the president. I just. It's just if you actually try to do it. Like, you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I. I mean, I remember when I was growing up hearing that rule that like.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I remember that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You can't even say.

[Dave Anthony]

People do it all the time.

[Alex Perlman]

Trevor Moore from the White Kids, you know, had a great sketch about it.

[Dave Anthony]

It.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, did he?

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, yeah, it was a really great sketch. And it was all about. He's like, you can't say this sentence, but I can say it because I just told you what the sentence you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can'T say, you can't say. Yeah, right.

[Alex Perlman]

And I'm not gonna say it because things get clipped now and taken out of context.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So. Yeah, but no, do remember Dave's. Dave came out as a pedophile lover.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I don't know if you remember.

[Dave Anthony]

Didn't Ted Nagin put like, very quickly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ted Nugent could do whatever he wants. Go.

[Dave Anthony]

Didn't he put like a rifle scope on Obama?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but that is. Okay, Tooth. I'll jump in. Non white. Nugent could do whatever he wants. Go ahead.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, Also, he also shot arrows at Janet Reno, a Janet Reno doll. He did, yeah. Back in the 90s.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you can do whatever you want to do.

[Alex Perlman]

Just forever. Like, he just.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, Nugent. I just remember reading an article in the paper and he was having an event called Rape of the Hills in which he had his own private property, invited hunters, and then they would kill everything on the land.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

He called the Rape of the Hills and I was like, you're just a bad person.

[Alex Perlman]

I Remember watching the VH1 behind the Music of All About Ted Gen. And like, the whole time I was like, sitting there watching. And I was like, this is a series of crimes that I think are still in. Like, that's 100. Like, that's a crime.

[Dave Anthony]

His whole life is just crimes.

[Alex Perlman]

He had an album called Jail Bait.

[Dave Anthony]

Right. Am I wrong? Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Behind the Music.

[Dave Anthony]

The lyrics of his album should have got him put in prison. Yeah, absolutely.

[Alex Perlman]

But anyway, Donald Trump's gonna arrest all the pedophiles.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. You know, or other. He also adopted a. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, girl.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who better? Who better to find him?

[Alex Perlman]

But that was long after June 6, 1955.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

But also, like, he's one of those guys. I'm like, all these people are cancelled, but they're still playing his songs on serious. And the radio. And. And it's like, well, what are you doing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, well, yeah. The truth is that Michael Jackson. I understand, because the music's good. Nugent. I'm like, we could do it.

[Dave Anthony]

No, that's the thing. It's terrible music.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I was going to stop Michael Jackson, and then I swear to God, a person I know who was molested was like, I'm still listening to it. And I was like, well, there goes that.

[Dave Anthony]

Jesus Christ.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, okay.

[Alex Perlman]

I mean, the only one. The only one I know of was that they cut back Gary Glitter's songs. Like, they used to play Gary Glitter all the time in the stadiums and stuff from Jock Jams.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I'll tell you something nightmarish, Alex. I used to do kids birthday parties for a long time, dress up like superheroes, and eventually the. The party CD that my boss made, I hated. So I started, like, fine. So I put on Jock Jams and I put. I started playing a Gary Glitter song, like, all the time when I'd walk into the party, until eventually a parent was like, is that Gary Glitter? And I was like, yeah. And they're like, you know, he's like a pedophile. It's like, probably not the best look to be playing, like, a pedophile rock at a kid's birthday party. I was like, thank you, sir. That is awesome. Thank you so much for the update.

[Alex Perlman]

Just. Just to paint the full picture, which superhero were you dressed as in Dick Man?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop. Gary. Gareth Glitter.

[Alex Perlman]

Gareth Glitter. It's me, Gareth Glitter, with my power. Hello. My power of getting arrested in Vietnam.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was like, don't play it. I was like, how will I lure them?

[Alex Perlman]

But I did. These children need to get into the van for jury duty.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't you understand? There's been a crime. I've committed it. Children, we need a Jury convict me. This is very meta.

[Dave Anthony]

Shakespeare Justice Stooge.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Finally, Yank Hope hopes to dig up proof.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, oh. This is when they think that like six people were Shakespeare.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But the idea that they would bear. I mean, I don't know where we're going, but the idea that they would exhume him and be like, there's 400 bones in here. He clearly was a number of people.

[Dave Anthony]

An American drama historian who thinks Shakespeare was just a front for another author hopes to prove his claim next month by opening a 300 year old tomb.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How the are you gonna with this man had hair.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean. Okay, I guess we'll find out, but this sounds. Calvin Hoffman of New York has obtained permission from church officials to open the ancient tomb of Sir Thomas Walsingham.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can you.

[Dave Anthony]

Elizabethan nobleman at Chiselhurst, England.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're going to a church to dig up a fake Shakespeare?

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, listen, you know, what are laws? You know, Frank Lopez over there, I. I think he might have been Shakespeare.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The law says you may dig him up.

[Dave Anthony]

I can get in that and can. How? What can I do when I'm in there?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Whatever you want to figure it out.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. We're gonna get busy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? Weird. But go.

[Dave Anthony]

If you hear Bones hitting the wall, just ignore it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okie do. Not an issue for us is this.

[Dave Anthony]

Inside he expects to find a lead box containing the 36 manuscripts of the First Folio of Shakespeare's play. Oh, he's like. He got buried with them because he did them. So he's like, this guy wrote them. So he was like, I want to be buried with my plays.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like that's proof.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I know it's not proof. No, it's.

[Alex Perlman]

You just might have liked them lie. It would be like opening up the crypt and that there was a complete text messages saying the entire crime that he did. Like, that's like. It just doesn't make sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There we go.

[Alex Perlman]

That's a crazy line. I'm not crossing. All right.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 22 year olds always use the word weary. The manus. These manuscripts, he thinks, will show that Christopher Marlowe, another famous playwright of the Elizabethan era, was the real author of the plays now ascribed to Mr. Shakespeare, who Mr. Hoffman calls a stooge and a third race great actor. Wait, he's just mad at Shakespeare for some reason.

[Alex Perlman]

Wait, hold on. So he wants to dig up Walsingham because he thinks Marlo wrote it and Walsingham was buried with the proof?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's. There. There is a problem here. Right.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. Because like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, that's what I thought.

[Alex Perlman]

I was like. I thought he thought Walsingham. Because wasn't walls, like, Elizabeth's like, cop. Like cop agent guy. There's like a lot of like, conspiracies about him. Like that guy.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, there are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We've all read the stuff about him.

[Alex Perlman]

I saw the movie. Don't worry. That's all the movie. It's. I don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Shakespeare in Love.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm not a YouTube video.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, no, I'm referencing a movie in a. In a comic book, so don't worry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Still a little lofty for how I'm educating.

[Dave Anthony]

I just heard about it on Rogan.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, so you heard this.

[Dave Anthony]

You know what? You know, one of the best are Rogan's literary episodes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Would you know that clip of you talking about that Marin thing went on. Had a quite a day on Reddit yesterday.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. It's gonna get bigger when it gets put on Instagram.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, man.

[Dave Anthony]

I have a little Rogan thing that I. A little Rogan story. I told that and I'm trying to get booked. I think it'll. I think it'll probably take off.

[Alex Perlman]

Well, the other big thing is, the big thing with all those Austin guys is that they all watch all of the YouTube clip channels about themselves. So if.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It does not assess.

[Dave Anthony]

They very clearly do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, like the elephant graveyard.

[Alex Perlman]

A bunch of other stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

Stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

He. Shane.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gillis.

[Dave Anthony]

Gillis is backing off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you could tell.

[Dave Anthony]

No, he did. I saw Breakdown of like a 10 minute talk and he's like, I'm going to Philadelphia in six months and he's just totally backing out.

[Alex Perlman]

He's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A lot of them are on the city of Austin and then a lot of them are on the culture of Austin standup. But elephant. I. I was messaging with elephant graveyard the other day just because I was like, buddy, whatever this skill set is, it's incredible. I was like, you are on a. Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Sir, can I tell you how good that. That. That YouTube video was? My wife walked into the room. I was watching it on the TV in our living room, and I was standing with my arms crossed. I was standing with my arms crossed, like at a 45 degree angle of the television, watching it like it was a football game. Like. Yeah, yeah, no, he's right about that. You know, and she was like, all right, she's back out of the room slowly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

We do a bunch of episodes about guys. Like, I bring up Theo Vaughn a lot. I bring up Andrew Scholz a lot. We had a whole episode by Andrew Sch. And just that entire. Because I, I, to me, I think they've, they've really ruined a certain aspect of comedy that really.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Brain hurt.

[Dave Anthony]

I, I, Andrea Moore had a great joke about Schultz that he looks like, yeah, he looks a Jew in Germany who also was the guy who killed the Jew.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He looks like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He looks like both the Nazi and the Jew that got.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

I just wish that they could either be dumb, then be, and then play dumb. Don't be dumb and play smart. That's the part that really gets me crazy with a lot of them where that's, that's where I get really incensed, especially about shells. That's the one. And, and Theo Von is smart and playing dumb. And that's where like, those two really grind my gears.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't think Theovon is smart. I think he's genuinely a stupid human being.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's hard to tell.

[Dave Anthony]

I think, I think he plays dumber than he is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

No, I think, I think the dumb is the character. I think he is, I think he is the short form video Larry the Cable Guy guy. Like, it's that same sort of general idea where he's really putting it on extra thick and like for, for the modern era.

[Dave Anthony]

Larry the Cable Guy was smart.

[Alex Perlman]

No, I know.

[Dave Anthony]

I used to do, I used to do open mics with him and I was there. One of the first times he went up as Larry, he was dressed as the cable guy. And we were like, what are you doing, Dave?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Dave started doing Daniel the Gutterman at the same time too. And only one, only one achieved a little salty.

[Alex Perlman]

I don't want to take this too far off, but as a new parent, my child latches on to certain things. And he's obsessed with Disney's Pixar's cars, which means he's obsessed with the tow truck tow mater. And my mom bought him a tow mater and it talks and it's his favorite thing. And so my son's favorite thing in the world is Larry the Cable Guy saying, get her done. And I have to just as a somebody who started doing stand up in 2002 and who went seeing the rides of blue collar comedy and hating all that, I'm just like, yeah, buddy, he's great. I love him. I'm just like desperately holding on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So this is your lefty curse?

[Alex Perlman]

It is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now you have, you have a kid who is a Larry the Cable catchphrase factory.

[Alex Perlman]

It's like it's it's, it's. He hasn't he. It's not one of the words he says yet, but it's definitely one of his like activation phrases. I'm like, they're doing ambiguity on my boy. I can tell.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What a great way to get him. Yeah. And what. What did Daniel, the gutter guy. What was one of his catchphrases? He had a couple.

[Dave Anthony]

Let's get in the. Yeah, there you go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Didn't work. Don't work for some reason.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, there is very. We have a very good. Like we have some great sound ups for a remix version of you in this episode. Oh, yeah. I love pedophiles.

[Alex Perlman]

Let's get in the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's get into.

[Dave Anthony]

Mr. Hoffman, who said he will pay 1,000 to a stone mason to unseal the tomb, believes that Marlon Marlow faked his death in 1593 and left England to avoid being burned at the stake for heresy. He thinks Marlowe's patron and benefactor Walsingham helped him. But according to Mr. Hoffman, Marlowe continued to write, sending his plays to his friend who paid Shakespeare to father them. Father. For Walsingham could not have the plays published under Marlow's name or he would have been put to death.

[Alex Perlman]

Death.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. That's an interesting theater.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Used to be way more awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's an interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stakes. So much higher.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like they'll kill me if they find out that I'm the Ghost Rider.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean the theory is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And Shakespeare's just some dumbass.

[Dave Anthony]

The theory is fine. It's an acceptable conspiracy theory. Like it's got.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, that's the old conspiracy theories I like. That's the old ones where you can sit there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, the whole thing is that actually. Shakespeare's actually two different guys.

[Alex Perlman]

I don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not a lot of people understand.

[Alex Perlman]

Patriots. I want you to lock in with us right now before you take your brain juice, okay? You need to understand that Christopher Marlowe was the true actual prophet behind those beautiful plays about fairies coming to life and people and eventually a man getting a goat head. That is the truth about this. It's part of a demonic situation that was set up by the Catholic Church.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, Puck. Puck was a nine year old. Puck should not have been involved in any of that stuff. Okay?

[Alex Perlman]

I'm just saying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

King was part of a big pedophile ring.

[Alex Perlman]

I'm just saying King oberon was behind 9. 11. 11.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He did not. 11.

[Dave Anthony]

Mr. Hoffman has been trying to prove his beliefs for nearly 20 years. A previous attempt to get church.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now it is fully like, get a life.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like if you're doing this for a summer. All right, enjoy.

[Alex Perlman]

20 years is sad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

20 years to be like on this dead guy play plight.

[Alex Perlman]

Which. Which to be fair, which means he started this in 1935, like during the war. He's like. He's like, all right, I know there's. There's World War II is on, but I gotta get over there with this shuffle. If I could just get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

English Nazis. You know who's worse than the Nazis? That bloody Shakespeare. He's a fraud.

[Dave Anthony]

A previous attempt to get church authorities to open the tomb ended in failure in 1953. So he just. It's two years later and he's back. He said, we got to get in there, you guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But he's gonna get in there.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, he did. But now it is 20, 25 and we know it didn't come to anything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, we don't know. We only have one day. We don't know. We don't maybe.

[Alex Perlman]

I mean, he might be a bone pervert. Do we ever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

About that.

[Alex Perlman]

He loves.

[Dave Anthony]

He loves old bones. I love bones.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mind if I go in the tomb and put one more bone in the mix?

[Alex Perlman]

Don't mind if I do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

As he opens it, I'll do the investigating here. I think you boys could step away for a quick 10. Go have a cigarette. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Storekeeper knew exactly what to do. Edward Wright, 76, new exit. You shouldn't be working.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, this is literally anytime I get into like a ride share with a driver over 70, I'm like, shouldn't he.

[Dave Anthony]

Just be sitting around a lake? When do old people get to just enjoy it?

[Alex Perlman]

Sir, please, please get back into the Senate.

[Dave Anthony]

Sir, shouldn't you. Shouldn't you be running for senate now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You'Re 76, you'll be sleeping at an important hearing ring.

[Dave Anthony]

I love that. I think it's Maine where they're. That. That guy's running. Who's awesome? Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Graham. Graham Platner.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. And they're in. The establishment is trying to get a 76 year old to run.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I. I don't think they could. Right? The person was like, I can't.

[Dave Anthony]

I. I'm falling apart. That's what we like about you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No further than Jerry Connelly. I mean that was the greatest. The fucking amazing. He was so old. Didn't really want to do it. Did it because it was his turn. And then died four months later. And then was like, cool. Great strategy.

[Alex Perlman]

You what he looked like A ghost. Then, like, whenever he interview with him, he was weirdly. He had that weird old people purple to him. And you're like, what is. Why are we doing this? And then, like, it was like, idol it. They voted for me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great.

[Alex Perlman]

And then, like, an hour later, he's like, by the way, throat cancer. I know the job is talking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I. I did sign the petition to stop Crayola making old person purple. It. It. It just. I didn't. The color was.

[Alex Perlman]

That was one of the things. They rolled back immediately, though. It was one of the first executive orders signed because old per. Getting rid of old purple. Old people purple. That's dei. So sorry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no disgust. We've hired way too many.

[Dave Anthony]

Stop.

[Alex Perlman]

Woke is dead. All right. So we can call it old people purple again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But they replaced it with vibrant orange.

[Alex Perlman]

Man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Man. Which is really also quite a color.

[Dave Anthony]

That's. Edward Wright, 76, knew exactly what to do when two men entered his confectionary last night and announced, this is a holdup.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Better days when you could just do that.

[Dave Anthony]

Mr. Wright wearily hoisted his arms in the air and watched while they took $22 from the till and ran out the door. Mr. Wright's store has been held up five times in two years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, people might think that that's not. That is $2.5 billion in today's money.

[Dave Anthony]

So this is a story about a guy who got robbed, and they're like, good job.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, they're happy with him.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. They're saying he just put up his arms and didn't fight it. He's also 76. He's like, yeah, what's he gonna do?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Old man reacts like an old man.

[Dave Anthony]

They smell like Ben Gay. LA Motorists won't be seen. L. A. Motorists won't be seeing pink streets, Louisiana, Louisiana. Okay. A proposal that Los Angeles paint its streets pastel colors such as pink and mauve was made to the city council by Elizabeth Black, a retired general manager of the municipal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why did we not do this? That would have been incredible.

[Dave Anthony]

Awesome, wouldn't it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, right now what? They would be. They got pink roads.

[Dave Anthony]

They would be losing it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We should have done it.

[Dave Anthony]

We should do it. It Now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We should.

[Alex Perlman]

Now. We should do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mario Kart.

[Alex Perlman]

The land, especially as they're. As they're covering up all of the rainbow sidewalks in Florida. This should be the type of thing. You know what they get. Somebody. Somebody text Gavin Newsome. That demon will get on immediately.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, he would.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. We just say, charlie.

[Alex Perlman]

People hate it. He'll do it immediately.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, homeless people hate pink.

[Alex Perlman]

They don't even know how to pronounce.

[Dave Anthony]

You could do the, you know, the gay pride flag colors on a cross and the right would just lose their mind. Cross that looking straight.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They already did they any.

[Alex Perlman]

Those flags.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Anything like that. They. Who was I talking to the other day that was like, oh, there's someone I was talking to was saying how they weren't sure. Like they, they drove by a place and it had the. After Charlie Kirk, it had the, the American flag at half mast, but the Trump flag was still fully up. And we started talking about the household debate of whether or not you lower the Trump flag to half mast or not. Oh, yeah, and I think you don't. I think you don't. I think you keep it all the way because America has suffered. But Trump's strength is still at high capacity.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it was definitely a thought was put into it for sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. Maybe do a quarter mass down.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. I don't know. She said this would beautify the city, cut down the glare from blacktop streets and reduce accidents. The city engineer's office studied the proposal and reported that it would cost some $50 million to paint 3,400 miles of pavement using. Using 17 million 952 gallons of paint. That's actually a lot for.

[Alex Perlman]

That's a lot. That's a lot for. I mean, maybe just like downtown. Like, that's the thing is like, I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Actually, Yeah, I do actually like the idea because they've said a lot about.

[Alex Perlman]

Especially blacktop when it comes to roads is what leads to these heat islands. So like I, I'm in the suburbs, but in Philadelphia, like, it's always like three or four degrees hotter downtown. And when I lived in the city, just from how much heat is being absorbed and then released from the street. So if they. Especially in a place like LA with all that sun and then it also would have been iconic. They didn't have to do the whole LA County. That's crazy, right?

[Dave Anthony]

They'd have to do the whole thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, that's where I think the fence swinging was too much. You just start with a little bit and show that it works versus just be like, LA is a pink town.

[Alex Perlman]

I do love, I do love the fact that she went to like, because how many, I mean now with the Internet, how many city council meetings have you watched where some lunatic gets up and it's like the road should be pink and everyone's like, okay, it's like because of the Jews, you're Like, whoa, whoa. I think the road should be pink. I think there's. Here's some smart ideas. And they're like, all right. I mean, all right, let's. Let's. Let's run it up the flag pole and see, and, like, don't go past the Trump flag. And then they did that, and they came back. They're like, damn, listen a little crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

We're gonna.

[Alex Perlman]

We're gonna just not spend it on healthcare.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, that is the thing, too. It's like, even hearing that amount of money, it's for public good, it's sort of reassuring that they pass on doing that still back then, because it feels like now, obviously, there's no public good. We drive a lot of places, and the amount of times where you go under a bridge and you're like, styrofoam is really important to holding that structure together there.

[Dave Anthony]

Styrofoam holds up bridges.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're like, wow, they really. At some point, might be a good idea to address it, I guess.

[Alex Perlman]

I wonder when we're going to have Infrastructure Week again. Again. Anytime soon. Yeah, anytime soon. I miss the halcyon days of Infrastructure Week.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. Well, they. All the money that we're cutting and saving, I keep wanting to know where. Where was it, like, we should have really been pushing back on the Doge time of, like, what are we. Where is it going? Where are we? Where are we? What are we doing with it?

[Alex Perlman]

It was going to Larry Ellison so we could buy Tick Tock. And then I guess. Yeah, Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, that would have been helpful. It would have made me less into Doge. Because I was a big Doge guy. Still.

[Alex Perlman]

I can tell.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

When I think of you, I think of crypto. I think a doge. I think a big ball.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let it play out.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Big ball's a pal. Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

The Forrest Gump of our times, who apparently is always just there. Every time they're like, oh, there's this new critical thing. This is probably the inflection point of America. And big balls is just right on the edge of the photo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Big ball.

[Alex Perlman]

It's like that episode of Doctor who where those guys, like, he's always right there. It's. Oh, it's just big balls right there.

[Dave Anthony]

There.

[Alex Perlman]

His dad's a popcorn. Popcorn magnet. What the is that? Okay, this is why my show is called Too Many Tabs. I. I just. We. I. Things get in and they never get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is so funny. He's just everywhere. Big balls.

[Alex Perlman]

Big balls.

[Dave Anthony]

What do you think? What do you think the odds Are that big balls is a groiper.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, it's like. That's a. That's a. That's a solid circle.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I for sure slack jeans out in Oklahoma City Catholic schools.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is important.

[Alex Perlman]

All right, here we go. I'm in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here we go. All right.

[Dave Anthony]

Roman Catholic authorities have forbidden students of either sex to wear slacks or blue jeans in parochial grade schools. Here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

The order is effective with the start of the fall term in September.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Thinner layers. That's what you want.

[Dave Anthony]

I want to see those legs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. All right, Professor.

[Alex Perlman]

The reverend added to the. Add it to the DJ cut.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Yeah. I can't. I can't now. Now someone will do it. No, it's gonna be great.

[Alex Perlman]

Listen, you want. I know it won't be great in the long run, but in the short run when you get your first tick tock edit, you're gonna be like, holy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah. It'll be no long term. Real bad for you. Real bad.

[Dave Anthony]

The Reverend Michael Mc. McNamey McNamey of St. Patrick's parish said jeans quote, are fine for boys who are working or out digging ditches, but we feel there is no place for them in the classrooms. Youth who dress like gentlemen are more apt to act like gentlemen. The priest added.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, absolutely.

[Dave Anthony]

Priest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We proved that.

[Dave Anthony]

Priest. Priest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I agree. I think jeans are just for hard work and rfk.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And that's the only time it seems appropriate.

[Dave Anthony]

Why?

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you're about to say, why does he only work out in jeans? I will beat the out of you.

[Dave Anthony]

It's just like, it's so clearly because he's. He's hot. He's such a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's got a good body.

[Dave Anthony]

He just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He gets it when it comes to vaccines.

[Dave Anthony]

Makes him look like a tough guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he does.

[Dave Anthony]

And he looks like a idiot.

[Alex Perlman]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? What? What? What hearing Are you watching? That guy's got his finger on the paw.

[Dave Anthony]

False.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good.

[Dave Anthony]

It's like something a like 13 year old boy does to prove he's not gay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, it's that he's not gay. He is not gay.

[Alex Perlman]

It's actually the only thing accused of being gay is the only thing RFK hasn't been accused of. I've actually been reading this biography about Mussolini right now because I want spoilers for what's going to happen to us. And that was a big part of, like, muslini. Because the same way that Putin does, does like these strong men, they like to be seen shirtless and like, be seen as one of the guys like One of the things that really struck me when we recently did an episode about RFK Jr. And I keep going back and thinking back to that Roseanne Barr video where he was admitting the bear thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was crazy.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. And like. Like the fact where Roseanne Barr is like, this is insane. And I'm like, when Rosie's. Yeah, that look, that's nuts. But during it, he was like, yeah, I saw this dead bear on the side of the road. And. And my redneck, the redneck side of me got activated. And I'm like, you're a cat. You don't have a red. Like, what are you talking about?

[Gareth Reynolds]

But, like, you have a burned everything.

[Alex Perlman]

No, but I think Dave's right. I think he thinks that, like, what we. He's. He's. Listen, he's rippling on hgh, Allegedly or something else. And then, you know, something that probably you can't take by a needle. And then he puts on the jeans because it makes him feel country strong. That's what it. I think that's what it really comes down to.

[Dave Anthony]

And it's. It's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's got a great body.

[Dave Anthony]

It's his dumb guy, dumb, rich, elitist, Mass. Massachusetts idea of what a normal red. That guy is. Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

100. It's. That's his cosplay. And then he has skin like Hulk Hogan, which is like, hot dog.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm sorry, we're not gonna let you get away with accusing the Hulkster who just passed away of being made a hot dog skin. Say what you will about rfk, Hulk Hogan was a good guy. And he. He had. He was not nearly. He was not nearly as leather is now.

[Dave Anthony]

I gotta do a Hulk Hogan podcast.

[Alex Perlman]

Or they can listen to my episode about it called Ripped Yellow T Shirt. Way back in the early days of Too many tabs. Wherever you listen to podcast, it's called promotion.

[Dave Anthony]

In your. In your Mussolini book, have they covered his obsession with milk yet?

[Alex Perlman]

They did mention they didn't get too deep into his milk obsession. I've really been stuck on the whole OA thing about the. The secret police and, like, the timing of it and looking at the moment we're in now and some of the accusations. So, like, I had read that passage, like, last, like two weeks ago and then like this where we ran to this timeline mine. So I've been looking into that. But the milk stuff about especially he said, like, he drank a glass of milk and he would eat pasta every day, but he had an ulcer. And I'm like, don't do what you're doing. Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

He.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's healing himself.

[Dave Anthony]

He was trying to get. He was obsessed with milk and thought it was, like, about virility and masculinity and was trying to get them to make clothes out of milk and stuff like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Really? What did we cover that on? Like a smollop or something? Yeah, he's trying to make milk clothes clear.

[Dave Anthony]

No, normal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Well, you know, the whole thing is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Kids should be wearing their milk.

[Alex Perlman]

The problem is that you can be wearing it, but it has to be unpasteurized. Yeah, you need the raw milk. It's raw milk.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, this is. This is. Dear. Ms. Mayfield, this is a question.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, great. These are great.

[Dave Anthony]

Mama's boy upsets girl. I am 17 years old, and my boyfriend is 20. I like him very, very much. He has always been completely rul by his mother. I ask. Oh, sorry. At 20, mind you, he still has to ask if he can go out or if he can take me out. He. That's not. That's really bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not. Just walk away. You're basically saying, like, this is not a dude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, he's like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, he's also sleeping with his mom, so I kind of get it. He has made many dates with me, which he has had to break because of his mother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He is sleeping with his mother. Sorry. I pushed back so hard. At first I thought it was.

[Alex Perlman]

Wasn't. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

She always says she likes me, but she does all she can to stop me from seeing you. Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She doesn't want you.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep. Quite often she phones to him as soon as he gets to my house and tells him to come home, and he trots home like an obedient puppy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

How would you handle this? Exasperated.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Complete. I'll answer. Move on.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, two. Okay. Move on. Or start.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or answer the phone and say you're him.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. We'll start having sex with him. Like, give him a reason to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. This woman's probably dead, but if she's listening, start to it.

[Alex Perlman]

I know it's 70 years later.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know it's a long while later. This woman probably didn't make it. But if the two of these people ended up start him. The mom's for sure did bang the out.

[Alex Perlman]

She would be 87 years old today.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's 87. The mom's probably. If the mom's around, she's probably not doing great. She's still. Bang him.

[Alex Perlman]

The other option. So, you know, have sex with him, but dress up like the mom and Then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And obviously this, I was this before the movie Psycho came out a little later.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right, Right around there.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So I mean like, was it 50? I think it was like 60.

[Alex Perlman]

I think that, I think it was close. I think it was like later 50s because you know, that would be like, she's, she's listing a lot of like red flags right in there with like, you know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

You know, and I think that's, I think, I think she was probably watching that movie and drive thru with him and when it got done, she turned him. She's like, any thoughts? Any thoughts?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He. I need to go home. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Dear exasperated. Why don't you stop dating him and tell him exactly why? Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, excuse me, how. How dare you hit with common sense in this era to be like, just explain how you feel, lady.

[Dave Anthony]

It sounds to me that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Be honest. It sounds to me with no repercussions.

[Dave Anthony]

It sounds to me that at 20 years he's awfully tied to the apron strings, which in my opinion makes him a very poor risk as a boyfriend and even poorer one as a husband. Maybe when he sees you simply aren't going to put up with his being such a mama's boy, he'll try to show he's a man instead of a baby boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's good advice.

[Alex Perlman]

I, I do like that it's put on because now there's a whole thing on the Internet about boy mom moms. Like these people who are like these moms, like their whole personality is that they have a son and it's like very creepy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

But back then it was like purity balls. He's weird for not getting away. Like he's clear.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

There's clearly something mentally being happening to him from his own mom for a very long time. Therefore he is the like, that is how so it was in 1955.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So the moms, the stuff you've been, you're talking about is like the moms are just fully obsessed with making sure that everything's perfect and there's nobody's good enough.

[Alex Perlman]

No. Yeah, well, there's nobody's good enough. But there's like this really weird factor to it when you look into them because a lot of them are like moms who had their kids younger and especially they had like a boy and it's like almost like they're making like boyfriend content about him. But it's like this really weird, odd. I don't want to describe it too much, but maybe I'll do an episode about it on our show at some point.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There was recently, after like some high school football game or something, the mom who was young and, like, attractive, jumped into her son's arms after he.

[Alex Perlman]

Like that.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, she, she, like, she did the street. She wrapped. Yeah. She straddles him. She wraps his legs around. I mean, you're just like. That's not.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. That's like boy mom stuff. And that's what. That's the type of. I'm talking about, where you're like, ah, something's off here. I, I don't have. I don't have a. I don't have any evidence. It's. It's. I don't have any evidence.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't have evidence.

[Alex Perlman]

But it's all. But I know we're all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is my Shakespeare. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Imagine being that dude, though. You're. All of a sudden, you're like, you're a viral hit because your mom's got.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You want to cap it with one more, David?

[Dave Anthony]

Sure, Chef. Board game breaks up with one hurt and one jailed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Whoa. Jesus Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

This is my kind of shuffle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is the 50s.

[Alex Perlman]

All right? I need.

[Dave Anthony]

I need to be full contact shuffleboard.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Alex Perlman]

That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Because Joseph Suborowski, 23, of Tecumseh lost his temper while playing shuffleboard in a tavern early today. He is in the county jail here, and a woman patron of the tavern has 16 stitches in her head.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

Let's hear what she did first.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I, I. You're absolutely right. Let's get all the facts out, and then we'll judge her right.

[Dave Anthony]

Sheriff's deputy said Mr. Zabrowski became angry while playing the game, picked up one of the metal discs, hurled it across.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So far, he's done nothing wrong but keep going.

[Dave Anthony]

He's. He's fine. Hurled it across the room and struck Ms. Carrie Basinger of Tecumseh. Okay, so she was in the wrong place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And of was just.

[Dave Anthony]

She's in the throwing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I think that makes sense. Alex, I feel like you're on board with us, too. You don't think you're going to silence your way out of this one?

[Dave Anthony]

Who gets that mad at shuffleboard?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You. I could see you losing your mind.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm not. I don't get mad at games.

[Alex Perlman]

I, I'm glad. I'm glad. Once you said it was in a tavern. I could picture the very long. Like those. It's one of those 15 foot long things. I. Because every time I do shuffleboard, I picture cruise ship shuffleboard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do, too. That is what I pick up.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, maybe I don't because my head with the we used to. We used to go all the time to this this one bar because it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Had you and the Greasers.

[Dave Anthony]

Me and my my ex high school friends.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, the Greasers, that's you guys.

[Dave Anthony]

Called yourselves. And they had a big because we went there because they had a big shuffleboard thing. So I always picture that. Ms. Basinger was treated at Herrick Memorial Hospital. Albert Bagshaw, owner of the tavern, called. Police and deputy said, Mr. Sabrowski will be charged with felonious assault. First of all, he needs to go to some sort of alcohol program.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, here we go.

[Alex Perlman]

Probably an angry man's party killer.

[Dave Anthony]

Also, we just need to make shuffleboard illegal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, interesting.

[Alex Perlman]

Sounds like he picked it up and he just wong it across the room. Is he playing against her?

[Dave Anthony]

No, it doesn't sound like it. It sounds like he just was mad.

[Alex Perlman]

He's like, I'm so tired of losing, and just chucked it across the room.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And but he Now I'm going to jail.

[Alex Perlman]

Those things are heavy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

16 is real. He really her. Yeah, I know.

[Alex Perlman]

He really.

[Dave Anthony]

I I mean, well, way to end.

[Alex Perlman]

The show on a positive note, Dave, you know?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. That's the sort of stuff we like to do. Dave, any more quotes out of context you want in the song?

[Dave Anthony]

No, just that I like it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's good enough. Alex, honestly, thank you so much for joining us. Thanks for having me.

[Alex Perlman]

Listen, I said I said when we started. I've been a fan for a very, very long time. We've always really loved your show. I've always loved the format of this show. So. So I remember when you guys first started doing it and like I l was mowing my lawn listening to one of the first ones of these, so to be on, it's been a real treat for me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, come back. You are so goddamn entertaining and everyone should follow you. What is your website again? Where can people see you?

[Alex Perlman]

Just find find me on YouTube under or anywhere under. If you Google Pearl Mania 500, I'll come up. That's most.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you're easy to find with that stuff.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, just like Pearl Mania 500. And then my podcast is called Too Many Tabs I do with My Wife. So if you guys are looking for any sort of content to fill in the times when Dave is and Gareth aren't making something and you already listen to everything, come listen to us. We'll have some fun. Something fun.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great pitch. And again, only when you're done with our stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

Only.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Only Alex. Thank you. Appreciate it. And as much as it pains me to say, go Birds for you.

[Alex Perlman]

Hey, go Birds to nothing, baby.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, boy. Here we go.

[Alex Perlman]

I wore, by the way, I wore this shirt because you did an episode about Philadelphia sports fans. Specifically because you did that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And how good they are and how.

[Alex Perlman]

Amazing and how calm we are. And what it's called is not crime. It's passion. It's passion.

[Dave Anthony]

I know. We saw it. We saw it recently in, in, in Florida.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that woman, she grabbed the ball because it was passion. Yeah. Yeah. All right, dude. Thanks again, Alex.

[Alex Perlman]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Some of these days you'll miss me, honey. What's up, Garret Force doll heads? It's Garaforce. Listen, I don't know what's going on anymore. Listen, go to garethreynolds.com because I have a lot of shows coming up. I'll be In San Diego, California, September 21st, Chandler, Arizona, September 24th, Springfield, Missouri, the 26th, 27th. Fourth shows Columbia, Missouri, September 28th. I will be at in Wichita, Kansas, on September 30th at Vorshase. I'll be in Appleton, Wisconsin, October 1st, Fort Wayne, Indiana, for two shows on October 3rd. Then I'm taping my special at the Den. October 4th, Saturday, October 4th at Chicago, Illinois. Garethreynolds.com Also, I'll be at Rooster T Feathers in Sunnyvale, California, November 6th, 7th, 8th. I'll be in Omaha, Nebraska, at the Funny Bone, November 28th. November 29th. I will be in Vancouver, British Columbia, December 2nd. And then I will also be in Seattle and Eugene right after that. Garethreynolds.com for tickets and information. Come on, Gareth Horse, let's party.