The Dollop — Episode 148: The Past Times with Ariel Elias

Date: October 24, 2025
Hosts: Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds
Guest: Ariel Elias
Theme: Comedians riff on bizarre stories from a July 7, 1893 issue of the Athena Press (Oregon), exploring oddities of history with irreverence and wit.

Episode Overview

This episode of "The Dollop: The Past Times" features comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds inviting guest Ariel Elias for a raucous journey through an 1893 Oregon newspaper. The trio riff on outrageous stories found within, heckling the language, absurdity, and social norms of the time, all while weaving in modern perspectives and spontaneous comedic tangents.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Guest Introduction and Banter (01:03–05:20)

• Gareth repeatedly mispronounces Ariel’s name, leading to early laughs and rapport building.
• Ariel shares about her comedy special, "A Jewish Star," and recounts the infamous viral moment when an audience member threw a beer at her (03:11).
  • Ariel Elias: "I love attention, so getting it is fine... They were New Jersey rednecks, too. Not surprising if you’ve ever been to New Jersey." (03:14)
  • Gareth recounts: "Never heard so many comedians jealous of not having a drink thrown at them because nobody ever thought to drink the drink." (04:03)

2. Guessing the Newspaper Year (05:20–06:46)

• A running game: Dave teases a boring headline, and Ariel and Gareth guess the year.
  • Ariel: "I’m going to say 1664, maybe about Lincoln getting shot?" (06:03)
  • Correct answer: 1893; Ariel technically wins under the episode’s arbitrary rules.

3. Dynamiting Fish & American Sensibilities (07:16–09:42)

• The paper reports people blowing up fish in the Umatilla River.
  • Dave: "Some parties are killing fish... by exploding giant powder in the water. Awesome." (07:44)
  • Ariel: "Blowing up a bunch of fish was technically the first school shooting." (08:16)
• The hosts run wild with the American penchant for maximalist, destructive solutions.

4. Regional Fauna & Noodling Tangent (10:06–11:37)

• Discussions digress into local animals, Bigfoot, and the Southern "noodling" tradition (hand-fishing for catfish).
  • Ariel: "There was a guy just looking at his fingers like, these are basically worms." (11:11)
  • Jokes about the cleverness (or drunkenness) behind such fishing innovation.

5. The Marriage Race Story (11:38–18:14)

• A column describes a woman who has two suitors; she chooses to marry whoever returns first with a marriage license after a 19-mile horse race.
  • Gareth: "She’s like, whoever is best at bureaucracy..." (13:14)
  • Ariel: "That’s basically 90 Day Fiancé but for whatever years we're in." (13:26)
• Govan wins by taking a shortcut, is immediately married, and the loser joins the celebration.
  • Dave: "The ceremony was performed, and McBrayer gracefully acknowledged his defeat and joined in the wedding festivities." (18:10)
  • The group muses about expanding this concept into a "poly horse race" TLC show.

6. Circus Wedding: Outlandish Social Reporting (19:42–22:47)

• Article details a Wisconsin wedding with a 6'2" groom, a 3'2" bride, armless witnesses, a 350-lb woman, and a 7'6" man.
  • Dave: "Are you saying what’s on there, circus people? I am saying what's on there." (21:01)
  • Ariel jokes: "There was somebody at that wedding who was mostly impressed that a 50-year-old was getting married."* (22:49)
• Trio mock how the paper nonchalantly lists such peculiar attendees, missing obvious circus subtext.

7. Local Tidbits & Press Etiquette (28:08–32:50)

• The newspaper pleads for readers to send in gossip, food invites, or report if their "wife whips you."
  • Dave: "If your wife whips you, let us know and we will set you right before the public." (28:20)
  • The hosts lampoon the nosy, needy role of small-town news—and get into bit comedy as panting, whipped men.

8. Sports & Humiliation – The Great Baseball Novices Game (33:52–45:27)

• The Athena Press covers a "novel" baseball game: two teams whose members have never played before.
  • Dave: "If you want to laugh, come out and see the game." (35:04)
• One player, Bill Young, splits his pants swinging, and collapses in tears after striking out:
  • Dave: “Tore the buttons of his pantaloons and otherwise disabled his outer apparel.” (38:08)
  • Jokes about introducing nudity and vulnerability into modern sports.
  • Extended riff about Bill’s legendary (possibly fictional) town-tough exploits, leading up to his abject failure and public humiliation.

9. The Mind Reader Buried Alive (46:18–55:03)

• Report about "Seymour the Mind Reader" planning to be buried alive in Chicago for months, while barley is grown atop his grave.
  • Dave: "A mind reader... going to get himself buried alive." (47:48)
  • Ariel: "That seems like two different skills." (47:54)
• The crew debates the difference between "mind reading" and "telepathy," makes walkie-talkie jokes, and tries (in vain) to find out Seymour’s fate.
  • Ariel: "If you have two mind readers, that's telepathy." (50:55)
• No record can be found of his death via modern searches.

10. Petty Violence & Justice (55:24–62:08)

• Story: Local liveryman GM Froome is sucker-punched by a guy from Seattle over "hack fare," who then escapes on a moving train, wiggling his fingers mockingly.
  • Dave: "The fellow was wiggling his fingers at him from the tail end of the fast disappearing train." (56:27)
  • The hosts gleefully imagine the cartoonish getaway.
• A chilling account: An Italian man arrested for drunkenness is tortured for not working—tied to a pole after refusing to work in jail. Local paper callously advocates further violence.
  • Dave: "Only he should have brought the hobo in terms by breaking his neck." (63:35)
  • Ariel and Gareth are appalled by the casual cruelty, likening "old-timey" opinions to Fox News.

11. Reflections on Ads, Scams, and Social Media (57:08–60:15)

• The trio roast YouTube and Facebook scam ads, sharing stories of family members falling for too-good-to-be-true deals.
  • Ariel: "My mom did the same thing with Facebook ads when Bed Bath and Beyond was going out of business..." (58:15)
• Thoughts on China, scams, and the futility of trying to get recourse from e-commerce fraud.

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• "[Blowing up a bunch of fish] was technically the first school shooting."
  — Ariel Elias (08:16)
• "She’s like, whoever is best at bureaucracy... That's basically 90 Day Fiancé but for whatever years we're in!"
  — Gareth Reynolds & Ariel Elias (13:14, 13:26)
• "There was somebody at that wedding who was mostly impressed that a 50-year-old was getting married."
  — Ariel Elias (22:49)
• "If your wife whips you, let us know and we will set you right before the public."
  — Dave Anthony (28:20)
• "Bill sat down on the home plate and wept tears of mortification."
  — Dave Anthony (40:25)
• "A mind reader is going to get himself buried alive. That seems like two different skills."
  — Ariel Elias (47:54)
• "If you have two mind readers, that's telepathy."
  — Ariel Elias (50:55)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [01:03–05:20] — Guest intro, viral beer-throwing story
• [07:16–09:42] — Blowing up fish, American shortcuts
• [11:38–18:14] — Marriage race, "bureaucratic love"
• [19:42–22:47] — Circus wedding shenanigans
• [28:08–32:50] — Gossip-mongering in early newspapers
• [33:52–45:27] — Baseball, humiliation, and pants-splitting
• [46:18–55:03] — Buried-alive mind reader; searching for historical fact
• [55:24–62:08] — Violence over hack fare, anti-Italian bias, Fox News parallels

Tone and Delivery

The hosts and guest maintain an irreverent, mischievous, fast-paced banter—equal parts historical curiosity and relentless absurdity. They gleefully pick apart the archaic wording and baked-in prejudices of 19th-century reporting, often careening off-script for comedic effect. Ariel’s dry wit and quick comebacks fit seamlessly, especially as she lampoons the paper’s logic (and Gareth’s pronunciation attempts).

Summary

If you missed this episode, expect a raucous historical roast, where the crew celebrates humanity’s oddities and errors—equal opportunity skewering for the past and present alike. The paper’s stories act as springboards for comedic improvisation that lurches from “America’s true nature is dynamiting fish” to “why are mind-readers being buried alive?” and “how NOT to run a local news operation.” Ariel’s special, "A Jewish Star," gets ample (and equally roasted) promotion, and listeners are left with the sense that, although styles change, the human appetite for nonsense and spectacle endures.

Guest Plug: Catch Ariel Elias’ comedy special "A Jewish Star," free on YouTube! (Mentioned throughout, e.g., 05:16, 20:20, and 64:19)