160 - The Past Times with Beth Stelling

Summary

The Dollop – Episode 160: The Past Times with Beth Stelling

Podcast: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds
Guest: Beth Stelling
Episode Date: February 6, 2026
Theme: Comedians Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, and guest Beth Stelling riff through early 20th-century newspaper stories, using absurd headlines and outdated social norms to spark comedy, social commentary, and personal anecdotes.

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Episode Overview

This episode of "The Past Times" brings comedian Beth Stelling into the mix as Dave and Gareth pull up a newspaper—the Dayton Evening Herald from April 4, 1903—chosen specifically for Beth’s Dayton, Ohio roots. The trio mock, unpack, and riff on the surprising, dated, and sometimes ridiculous stories of the time. The main vibe is irreverent, playful, and packed with running jokes about historical weirdness, gender roles, and the unchanging nature of small-town news.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Introductions and Banter

• The show opens with tour announcements and a friendly roast of Beth Stelling’s busy career.
  • “What aren't you doing, Beth?” – Dave Anthony [01:27]
• Beth explains she’s not married or having kids, joking about intimidating male comics and the peculiarities of dating fans.
  • “I feel like in my lifetime, ... I've dated comedians just because I refuse to be happy.” – Beth Stelling [01:48]
• The panel discusses the awkwardness of dating fans and boundaries blurred by podcasting.
  • “They do know stuff about you, but it wasn’t from you.” – Beth Stelling [03:00]

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Guessing the Newspaper Date [04:52–06:10]

• Beth and Gareth try to guess the year of the newspaper. Dave reveals when and where it's from: "Dayton, Ohio. Saturday, April 4, 1903."
• The newspaper’s Dayton connection surprises Beth.
  • “I’m from Dayton.” – Beth Stelling [06:10]

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Story 1: Licensing Women to Wear Men’s Clothes (Paris) [06:21–08:42]

• Dave shares an article where only ten women in Paris are "authorized" by police to dress in masculine attire.
• Hilarious mockery of bureaucratic sexism ensues:
  • “Do you have a license for pants?” – Gareth Reynolds [06:45]
  • “I actually do have my license in my pocket that I was afforded by these pants.” – Beth Stelling [06:51]
• They riff about the power dynamics of clothing, with callbacks to modern equivalents in gender policing and pop culture.
• Comparison to U.S. progress, or lack thereof:
  • “France is light years ahead of us.” – Gareth Reynolds [22:25]

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Story 2: The Potato Merchant’s License (France) [09:01–10:38]

• The group laughs at the story of a male potato merchant allowed to wear women’s clothes.
• Lots of silliness about “sweater potatoes” and using potatoes for anatomical padding.

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Side Tangent: Skirts, Kilts, and Scottish Fashion [10:44–12:12]

• Jokes about garment airflow, kilt culture, and pubes as “handbag” accessories.
• Beth explains the “A-line” cut to two clueless men.

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Story 3: Throwing Lime in a Student’s Eye [15:14–21:50]

• 1903 teacher is fined $25 for blinding a child with lime, apparently unaware of the danger.
• Absurdity of the excuse is skewered:
  • “He peeped through a door...The teacher did not know that lime was injurious to the eye.” – Dave Anthony [20:00]
  • “Scarring of the cornea. Eye redness...” – Beth Stelling, reading the real consequences [21:28]
• They joke the song “Blinded by the Lime” [21:53].

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Story 4: Women Lifting Skirts to Avoid Mud (Missouri) [22:07–23:33]

• Judge rules women may lift their skirts to keep them clean.
• Panel mocks the absurdity:
  • “They think we’re stepping in mud as an excuse to flash our calf.” – Beth Stelling [22:47]
  • “You’re making men horny.” – Dave Anthony [22:50]

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Tangent: Audition and Acting Frustrations [16:52–19:47]

• Beth and Gareth discuss the torment of auditioning, callback woes, and the madness of taking feedback as a performer.
  • “This is why people ... go crazy.” – Beth Stelling [18:57]

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Story 5: The “Hindu Sleeper” and the Failed Saloon Stunt (Indiana) [26:53–33:12]

• Man stages a seven-day sleep in a saloon, only to be burgled and roughed up.
• Beth and Gareth riff on the spectacle:
  • “This used to be called Hindu sleeping, but now we know it as depression.” – Gareth Reynolds [27:48]
• They get lost in the bizarre setup: a sleeping guy in a box, a cash register, and a staged robbery.

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Story 6: Family Marrying Through Sisters (Tennessee) [41:10–47:09]

• Wild soap opera: Man marries a widow, then sequentially marries her daughters as each wife dies.
• The group recoils and jokes:
  • “If he marries that baby I’m gonna—” – Gareth, horrified [43:35]
  • “What if he just has chlamydia?” – Beth Stelling [46:06]
• They puzzle over the relationships among the children born of this tangled clan: "they're cousins and brothers and sisters." [47:00]

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Story 7: Presidential Congratulations for Triplets (New Jersey) [47:24–49:12]

• President Theodore Roosevelt sends three photos of himself as gifts to parents of triplets.
• The group laughs at this grand gesture:
  • “That’s a Trump move... Here’s three pictures of me.” – Gareth Reynolds [48:04]

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Story 8: Kid McCoy's Love Life, and Suing the Side Piece (New York) [51:38–55:09]

• Boxer Kid McCoy, divorced twice and married three times to the same woman, sues her alleged lover for $100,000.
  • “You’re supposed to pay me for that.” – Beth Stelling [54:55]
• The group riffs on suing for adultery, noting only a few states still allow it.

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Story 9: Woman Drugged, Hair Stolen [55:29–57:53]

• Chloroformed and shorn: a midwife is attacked for her “luxuriant locks.”
• Beth imagines the attackers rendering themselves unconscious by nursing, much to Gareth’s delight.

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Story 10: Baby Smothered by Cat (and Cat Conspiracies) [58:12–59:25]

• A 10-month-old is reportedly killed by the family cat.
• Dave returns to a long-running "cats are killers" theme:
  • “I told you, cats are baby killers... Cats will eventually exterminate the human race.” – Dave Anthony [59:02]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I feel like in my lifetime, I've definitely... I've dated comedians just because I refuse to be happy.” – Beth Stelling [01:48]
• “Do you have a license for pants?” – Gareth Reynolds [06:45]
• “I actually do have my license in my pocket that I was afforded by these pants.” – Beth Stelling [06:51]
• “If you have potatoes at your disposal, what do you think? You’re not putting them down the front [of your shirt]?” – Beth Stelling [09:59]
• “They think we’re stepping in mud as an excuse to flash our calf.” – Beth Stelling [22:47]
• “This used to be called Hindu sleeping, but now we know it as depression.” – Gareth Reynolds [27:48]
• “If he marries that baby, I’m gonna—” – Gareth Reynolds [43:35]
• “What if he just has chlamydia, and it can—” – Beth Stelling [46:06]
• “That’s a Trump move...Here’s three pictures of me.” – Gareth Reynolds [48:04]
• “You’re supposed to pay me for that.” – Beth Stelling [54:55]
• “I told you, cats are baby killers... Cats will eventually exterminate the human race.” – Dave Anthony [59:02]

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Highlights & Recurring Themes

• Absurd Historical Norms: Licensing women’s clothing, policing women’s behavior, punitive damages for adultery.
• Gender / Social Commentary: Male privilege, double standards, and throwaway “protections” for women.
• Personal Stories: Audition frustrations, bad bar gigs, Beth’s tales of ex-stepdads and quirky family history paralleling the newspaper stories.
• Physical comedy references: Scottish kilts, theatrical sleeping stunts, and exaggerated scenarios.
• Modern vs. Historical Parallels: Beth notes how social dynamics and unfairness haven’t changed as much as we'd like.

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Takeaways & Last Laughs

• Beth’s biggest surprise: the wig-snatching crime.
  • “The wig thing was honestly my shock.” – Beth Stelling [59:39]
• Gareth’s: the man who “cycled through the sisters.”
• Beth plans to “go through Instagram and start suing all my ex-boyfriends.” [60:39]
• The main comedic lesson: [59:51 onwards] “If anything, it just shows how much has not changed.”

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Notable Timestamps

• [01:27] — Beth’s relentless schedule
• [06:10] — Dayton, Ohio connection revealed
• [06:21] — Women’s clothing licensing
• [15:14] — Kids blinded by lime
• [22:07] — Women allowed to lift skirts
• [26:53] — “Hindu Sleeper” sleep stunt debacle
• [41:10–47:09] — The “married widow” and serial sister marriage saga
• [47:24] — Presidential triplets photo op
• [51:38] — Kid McCoy’s marital soap opera and lawsuits
• [55:29] — Chloroform and wig crime
• [58:12] — Baby smothered by cat, cat conspiracy

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Tone & Chemistry

The discussion is fast, irreverent, and sharp, with obscure history as a springboard for observational humor, gender politics, and performative groaning. Beth fits seamlessly into the show’s vibe, often riffing as confidently as the hosts and looping personal perspective (she’s from Dayton! Her stepdad had similar serial marriages!) into the mayhem.

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For newcomers: This is The Dollop at its best—a wild tour through weird history with tangents that make the past seem both nuts and eerily familiar.

Transcript

[Dave Anthony]

The Dollop will be on tour in March 2026. We are going to be in Buffalo on March 22. Then on the 23rd, we'll be in Syracuse. Then on March 24, we'll be in Boston at the Wilbur. Then on the 25th, we'll be in Bridgeport. And 26, the Gramercy Theater in New York. And then on the 27th, we'll be in Albany. And then on the 28th, we'll be in Pittsburgh. And then on the 29th, we'll be in Philadelphia. And then on the 30th, we'll be in Washington, D.C. at the Lincoln. The. Why would you name a theater after Lincoln? Anyway, that's our March 2026 tour. Go to dolloppodcast.com tour for tickets.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, welcome to the pastimes. It's a podcast. All right. Someone's finally doing it. Hey, gang. You know what we do here? Each week? We're going through a newspaper from a random date in history picked out by none other than Dave Anthony. I, Gareth Reynolds, have never seen it. And neither has this week's guest, the great Beth Stelling. Beth, hello. It's always an honor to have you on things. And I don't. I'm not even being a jerk. You're. We was. We've been talking you up a lot. Your specials are now on YouTube. Your Netflix one. You have a substack. You're on tour. Bethstelling.com. you're at. You're at punch up tables for nothing.

[Beth Stelling]

Yeah, I'm there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What. What aren't you doing, Beth?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, what aren't you doing?

[Beth Stelling]

Having children and getting married.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good call.

[Dave Anthony]

That's fair.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that by design?

[Beth Stelling]

I mean, I guess I'm getting a vase. Who could I pay to do that for me?

[Dave Anthony]

Is it hard? Do you. Do you intimidate men because you're funnier than them?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is.

[Beth Stelling]

I feel like in my lifetime, I've definitely, like, I've. I've dated comedians just because I refuse to be happy. And there are times where, you know, like, there. I don't know. I don't. There is a dynamic. There's a strange power dynamic with popularity or who you're with or. Yeah, that person. But I always tend to be with people who are like, I should. I should be bigger.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Beth Stelling]

And I'm over here, like, I'm happy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To have a job. Yeah.

[Beth Stelling]

So I made those types. Although I've also dated. I've also dated the type of comic that's like, kind of almost maybe looked up to me, which I didn't prefer. Not my style. Sort of like dating a fan. That would be weird. Weird for me. Like, there's certain comics. I'm sure there's women that do this. It's just not me. I don't want to just throw it all on men, but it's not that shocking that a male comic would marry or date a fan.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, totally.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I agree. And I think you're right. Men have been through enough. I'm kind of just bottom lining what you said. Totally agree with you.

[Beth Stelling]

Yeah, I would be comfortable by that. Like dating a fan.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've done it. It's weird.

[Beth Stelling]

I don't like it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's definitely weird.

[Beth Stelling]

The truth is, they do know stuff about you, but it wasn't from you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, that is. Well, also, with podcasting, they'll be like, is that when you were doing kids birthday parties? And I'm like, that's. This is not a conversation. Like, this is.

[Beth Stelling]

You're not allowed to reference stuff that I didn't tell you directly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You need to hide it. Fool me, babe. Well, pretend you don't know.

[Beth Stelling]

I'm a grower, not a shower.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way.

[Dave Anthony]

That is.

[Beth Stelling]

I know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's.

[Beth Stelling]

I know. It's going to get better. I heard you talk to Dave about it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. Okay, so just going to do some editor stuff. Obviously, that's a lift, but. Okay, Beth, so we're going to go through this newspaper. You get to guess what year it's from having no context. I will do the same. You go first, and then I'll go. And the reason you go first is because Dave is mentally unwell. He's. It's this whole thing. I won't even get into it. But if you go first, it'll be.

[Dave Anthony]

Helpful anywhere from, like, anywhere from the six.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your mic had a little pop there when you said P, just so you know. We heard the P pop a little bit there, so just something to be aware of.

[Beth Stelling]

That's what my. That's what people call my dad, I guess. And by people, I mean some of my sister's kids. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Grandpa is a grandma. Grandpa names is a real joy.

[Dave Anthony]

It really is.

[Beth Stelling]

It's true.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, this is new. New.

[Beth Stelling]

They get creative.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

My. My son just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is Naki.

[Dave Anthony]

My son couldn't say Naki. My son couldn't say grandma, so he just started calling her Mimi. And then that just last.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mimi's good. This is.

[Dave Anthony]

Let's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's go over to New. New and poo poops. All right. Beth, any year. It's old. That's what we know.

[Dave Anthony]

The paper is old.

[Beth Stelling]

Okay. Yeah, hold on. Am I guessing? I'm guessing after I hear stuff, right?

[Dave Anthony]

You hear nothing. We're making you do it. Just totally cold right now. We're gonna see what kind of telepathy skills you have.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is the spotlight you've craved that.

[Dave Anthony]

This is what you wanted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave. Don't yell. Christ.

[Beth Stelling]

19. 1993.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, wow.

[Beth Stelling]

86, 87.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, well, any. Anywhere in there?

[Gareth Reynolds]

1887. 1987. I'll say. 1938.

[Dave Anthony]

Are you looking at it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What would it. Does it have the date there?

[Dave Anthony]

Beth wins because she did not try to cheat. And it is 1903.

[Gareth Reynolds]

19 what? 1903.

[Dave Anthony]

You get. You get another guest spot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're doing iPads.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, you get another guest spot on the pastimes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're gonna get an idea in the future.

[Beth Stelling]

Keep talking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You get to be on this show.

[Beth Stelling]

You're allowed three more sentences.

[Dave Anthony]

You know, now we don't. I don't. I used to choose these, but now our wonderful producer does. So I don't know them either, but he. He's been. Lately, he's been picking places or dates that have something to do with the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, the guest.

[Dave Anthony]

So, the Dayton Evening Herald. Dayton, Ohio. Saturday, April 4, 1903.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you from there?

[Dave Anthony]

Does have anything to do with you?

[Beth Stelling]

I'm from Dayton.

[Dave Anthony]

Are you really?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, right, of course. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So you're from Ohio, which is what the kids say, but she's actually from Ohio.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Licensed to wear male attire, huh?

[Gareth Reynolds]

1903. This is from.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

In Paris and the French provinces, there are 10 women who are authorized by the prefect of police to wear full masculine costume.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's. How Nice. That's. That's the right bureaucracy.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's. This is how it should be. We're gonna go back to this where you have to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you have a license for pants?

[Dave Anthony]

You should be in a dress.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ma'.

[Dave Anthony]

Am.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Excuse me, ma', am. That hat is a problem.

[Beth Stelling]

I actually do have my license in my pocket. That I was afforded by these pants.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, here you are. Well, as you were. Good for you.

[Dave Anthony]

Among them were a lady artist, a bearded woman, a female house painter and decorator, a mannish looking, direct Christ of a printing office. That one's a little rough.

[Beth Stelling]

I mean, they're still doing this in the news.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know.

[Beth Stelling]

Yeah, we killed her. But she had blue hair and she looked ugly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She was a problem.

[Beth Stelling]

And I heard she kisses girls.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She kisses girls? She used to kiss a man. Then she punched God.

[Dave Anthony]

And several others who have obtained certificates to show that they ought to discard the attire of their own sex for that of the stronger and sterner one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, no notes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's brutal. Obviously. I mean, they actually. With Alex pretty. They were doing the. I saw. You know, they. I guess there was an image that was released that was like a little doctored. And then all the Right. Was going, oh, my God. What is with you people? It's like. Aren't you the ones who are showing, like, Trump, like, butt fucking money and just like, in a rocky outfit with, like, muscle? Like. What are you talking about? You're the reason we have data centers putting out stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. That was actually real, though, playing in his life. That. No, the diarrhea was real, though.

[Dave Anthony]

You know, you don't get to say any about anybody's looks when you have fucking Gollum, Stephen Miller in your corner.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, I'm going to draw a line. I think we leave him alone. Thank God he's in there. Thank God he's in there keeping everything a little bit on track. And his wife's podcast is phenomenal. I don't know if Katie listens to our show, but I am. I would love to do it. I believe Milk is. She listens. She does.

[Dave Anthony]

She's a big listener.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Big listener.

[Dave Anthony]

On the other hand, a humble potato merchant in the guy who sells potatoes. If you don't know what that is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So we're just talking about a guy who sells potatoes, too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't believe he doesn't have an ego.

[Dave Anthony]

He makes a living just selling potatoes.

[Beth Stelling]

Potatoes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not a big deal. This had a bunch of potatoes on it earlier.

[Beth Stelling]

So now they're gone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now they're gone.

[Beth Stelling]

Where do you think they went?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You don't have a table for six. I know. It's 8pm on a Friday. I. I'm a potato guy. You could just. Next table. Be nice.

[Dave Anthony]

A humble potato merchant in the suburbs has been allowed to wear female garments for reasons which satisfy the prefecture of police. So they had to throw it in. There's a potato guy likes to dress up like a lady. Yeah. So that's where we're at in France.

[Beth Stelling]

Well, he's got. He has potatoes at. At his. At his.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Convenience series.

[Beth Stelling]

Stuff them down the front of your shirt.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Sweater potatoes. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Just take a couple of potatoes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I guarantee he was doing that.

[Beth Stelling]

If you have potatoes at your disposal, what do you think? You're not putting them down the front.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of your shirt, Obviously. I put one in the front and I put two on the breasts.

[Dave Anthony]

He was obviously. He was just looking at basket potatoes one day and he was like, well, hold on here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, wait a minute.

[Dave Anthony]

This could.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is oddly progressive. And then you involve the cops, and it becomes really strange for them to be like, well, you passed the dress.

[Dave Anthony]

What are you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Welcome aboard.

[Dave Anthony]

What are you telling the. The prefecture of the. You're going in and going. So look, I would like to wear a dress.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got my dress pitch tomorrow. Can I run you guys through it real quick? I deserve a dress.

[Dave Anthony]

Let me have a dress.

[Beth Stelling]

That's why it's easier. I'm standing there for hours. I need the airflow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It would be way better.

[Beth Stelling]

Yeah, you get a little air flow up the. Up your skirt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, see, that sounds good. Even just hearing that now, that feels right for me.

[Dave Anthony]

Scottish. The Scottish got it down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but that's like wool.

[Beth Stelling]

Great. In an A line.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you mean that? I don't even know what an A line is. Do you think so?

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know what a line is either.

[Beth Stelling]

Just. It's kind of in the name, really. You know, like, it's a line. Oh, I picture it sort. You're sort of like pleated and flowy and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Beth Stelling]

Flowers and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Loving and what at the top is all part of the dress or. No, this is just way you can.

[Beth Stelling]

Wear what you have right now on top.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love that too. That's what the Scottish have. Great. They're just like. Yeah, you wear your regular thing and then you got an A dress. Then you put a big thing of pubes up front on the outside, and it's a handbag.

[Dave Anthony]

Used to have a. We used to have two guys that always came to. I don't know, is it dollops or was it walking the rooms in?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, we had killed guys.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we killed guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And they were like, how are you?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they're big dudes, too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They were big guys.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huge penises.

[Dave Anthony]

Huge. Wonderful.

[Beth Stelling]

No undies under there, don't they?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no.

[Dave Anthony]

You gotta let that stuff flow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's part of the charm.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Beth Stelling]

Aren't they sticking to stuff like. Oh, yeah, no, they're leg.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like bat wings. Absolutely.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I'd be more concerned about sitting down and having to stick to, like, the vinyl on a chair than I would my leg.

[Beth Stelling]

That's the reason, like, even sitting in shorts can be bad on a booth. Oh, you're getting stuck to that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that's why they say, don't go to a movie in Scotland.

[Beth Stelling]

Unless you want to get crabs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, that's right. That's exactly crabs. Christ, crabs got me.

[Dave Anthony]

Obviously. Obviously. There's really nothing exciting happening in Dayton because the first three stories do not take place in Dayton, which happens. Happens a lot. But you're really okay so far.

[Beth Stelling]

Is really elsewhere. They're like, we don't have nothing.

[Dave Anthony]

Nothing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, nothing interesting. But in France, a guy wore a dress.

[Beth Stelling]

Yeah, that's what they're up to over there. And that's why you shouldn't leave Dayton. You gotta stay here. It's not safe to leave.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, that's right.

[Beth Stelling]

Never get out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you.

[Dave Anthony]

Are you living in Dayton now?

[Beth Stelling]

Now you're in la. I'm in Los Angeles. Beautiful, beautiful Los Angeles.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's gorgeous. Well, that's evidence. For those of you just listening, Beth tilted the camera an inch to the showing a window that we couldn't see out of. So, yeah, the idea that I'd be like, oh, you're on Cold Water, Dave.

[Beth Stelling]

We're here in 15.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave. Dave.

[Dave Anthony]

I'll give it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave's such a little perv.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, but here. So when. When I was doing. I did a podcast called the West Wing Thing, which we talked about the horrible politics of the West Wing and how it was like, it turns out super bad. And we did.

[Beth Stelling]

Oh, you mean on the show?

[Dave Anthony]

No, we. Me and another guy.

[Beth Stelling]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Josh Olson. You wrote History of Violence. We did a podcast and we went through every episode of the West Wing.

[Beth Stelling]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And we broke down its politics and why. And you broke down why? It turns out the politics are not that great. Pretty conservative. But that led us into this thing about Prageru where we did a bunch of episodes about Prageru was doing. And then my co host went into a Prageru video where they were taking a tour of the studio and he. And he saw. They did one shot that was out a window, and then he saw a little strip mall, and then he saw the business, and he was able to locate where Prageru is. And they're totally freaked out that we know where it is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, Pragerus are hidden?

[Dave Anthony]

He has. It's one building. It's in the Valley. And we went there and armed cops came out, armed guards came.

[Beth Stelling]

I'm so sorry. Am I an idiot? What's Prager? You.

[Dave Anthony]

It is a super right wing thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're not an idiot. I wouldn't know about it unless I.

[Beth Stelling]

Well, they're trying to get to know thine enemy.

[Dave Anthony]

It's essentially propaganda that they've started that they started a while ago. It's those dumb videos you see, and you go, what the. Like, they act like they're telling you history.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like a Rush Limbaugh college.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah. Basically. It's just really.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which, by the way, I'm starting.

[Dave Anthony]

They're putting it in schools now, of course. So it's like, you know, propaganda nonsense. So when we found them, they lost their fudgeing shit they like. But he did it through just seeing a window.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And so just to bottom line, you think if played that back, Josh could figure out where she lives? Okay, great.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm saying, Beth, we know where you are now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? He just. He's like, she's at Prager U. She was playing dumb. Beth is at Prageru. He thinks everything's Prageru.

[Beth Stelling]

I am in that neighborhood.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, you are.

[Beth Stelling]

Sometimes I go over there, just say, hi.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Hello.

[Dave Anthony]

Through lime in pupil's eyes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Which kind of lime, though?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hopefully the citrus.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Because the other one would probably blind you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right? It's bad.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Have you ever done that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah, I've done both limes. I'm a big lime guy.

[Dave Anthony]

Sometimes I'll put lime in one eye and the other lime in the other eye. Interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It's like a Sprite.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Beth Stelling]

You ever been on a lime scooter?

[Dave Anthony]

I have been on a lime scooter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Tell her. Tell her about you. Dave one time tried. Dave decided to ride the scooter as far as it would go. And he was like, I was 10 minutes away from home, from hot. It was like he went on it for, like, hours, four, 40 minutes. I live up cruising with a buzz.

[Dave Anthony]

I up up in the hills above Glendale, and I wanted to see how far it would go after a show. So I. I like night. Night time, crazy midnight text.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To be like, that thing went far. You are 49 my guy. You all right? But.

[Beth Stelling]

But you're supposed to leave it in a zone.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, I was out of the zone.

[Beth Stelling]

Did you get in trouble?

[Dave Anthony]

I, I, I don't know. I don't think I did.

[Beth Stelling]

I. The annoying part is, like, they won't let you leave it in certain zones, which is irritating.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do they do? They find deep, Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Or they just don't let you end the. Well, this is before they were doing that. Before they realized that people were throwing maybe.

[Beth Stelling]

It's been a while since I got on one. I did ride one through Italy, which felt dangerous.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Beth Stelling]

And. And my friend was on the back of it.

[Dave Anthony]

That's very.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is dangerous. Now it's not funny anymore. Now it's not. Now.

[Dave Anthony]

Now we think you're comedy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Part of the story's over. That's just fucking nuts.

[Dave Anthony]

This has turned into like a Rogan episode. Just terrible ideas.

[Beth Stelling]

But the first time I rode one, I was late to an audition and I felt so free.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's such a great. Everything about that is great. Like late for an awe. Yeah. Rolling roll into an audition on a fucking scooter. Excuse me, I'm late for acting.

[Beth Stelling]

It was also like a Leviton thing. So it's like. I knew I already didn't have.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You just ride the scooter into the room. How are you?

[Beth Stelling]

I have bugs all over my face.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where do you guys put your scooters?

[Beth Stelling]

I love to blame my hair on the scooter ride, but it always looks like this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I, you know, I. I had a shirt that I really liked when I used to go for commercial auditions that I spilled coffee on and so I still wanted to wear it. So every time I'd go into the audition room, I'd go, I just spilled coffee on this. Apologies. So I could keep wearing it.

[Beth Stelling]

And I told my friend, pretty good acting exercise.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Really. It was a good warm up. Yeah. Yeah, it was. I was like, at the end, you.

[Beth Stelling]

Reveal this has actually been on here forever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That would be the best what I can do as the door's shutting just like. And by the way, that coffee is from a year ago. See you guys later. Either way, good luck.

[Beth Stelling]

One time I had to do a callback on Zoom. And as I was. They're like, thank you so much. And. And I kind of slowly was. Before I pressed end. It felt very like slow motion. And I heard one of them go, well, that wasn't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it could have gone in an okay way, but you're definitely right. I doubt it too. I doubt it.

[Dave Anthony]

But it's definitely not. You don't want to hear. You don't want to hear. Like, it's just one of those things.

[Beth Stelling]

Where this, this is why people who only act like I understand why they go crazy or go crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Beth Stelling]

Because especially it is maddening. Like I'm a pretty normal person that would read something and go, yeah, I mean, I can get a gist. So when someone is like, well, that wasn't what we expected. You're like, what did you expect? Yeah, what you want maybe with that.

[Dave Anthony]

Have you thought about writing better?

[Beth Stelling]

I. I think that isn't it interesting? Like, tell me What? Like, yeah, instead of being like, hey, go bake us something. And then you come in with something, oh, we're allergic to raisins. It's like, what? Tell me that. I guess that's what a breakdown's for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But no, I completely agree. Because if you actually think about what the project, it's going to be someone telling you what they want you to do. Not just like, well, you just. You didn't do it right. Surprise me. So this movie's gonna be pretty bad.

[Beth Stelling]

Right, because you're really giving notes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

The bet the best is when they do. Because I used to do. I used to improv a lot during the auditions. And then they don't use you, but they hire someone and then they take the stuff you improv that person do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that's just.

[Dave Anthony]

That happened to me a few times. But the best was the mustache. When I went into audition for a show and I had a big handlebar mustache, and then they didn't hire me, but the guy they hired, they had him grow one. And then I ran into the showrunner and I was like, dude, that was fucked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't see. I actually don't think you're allowed to be like, I chose the facial hair for the character.

[Dave Anthony]

But we knew that's what happened because we knew guys who were on the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm actually with the studio.

[Dave Anthony]

Through Lime and Pupil's eyes at the trial of Jasper Abel, a school teacher charged with throwing lime into the eyes of little Emerald Norman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it is lime.

[Dave Anthony]

Lime, I think it is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Holy.

[Dave Anthony]

He peeped through a door. It developed that. The teacher did not know that lime was injurious to the eye. Well, doesn't it like. But you put lime on, like, bodies to make things.

[Beth Stelling]

I was just gonna say I think it's blinding.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. It's like, what did she think? What did he or she think? Jasper, what did he think Lyme was for?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll tell you what, that kid didn't with him anymore.

[Dave Anthony]

Judge Ellie gave the defendant a lecture and fined him 25. Well, what happened to the kid?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's not good. I'm telling you, the.

[Dave Anthony]

I can't imagine.

[Beth Stelling]

I just. It says it's a caustic, highly infusible solid that consists of calcium oxide, often together with magnesium oxide.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's definitely a fuck with your eyes.

[Dave Anthony]

What happens if it. What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Scarring of the cornea. Eye redness, eye pain, blurred vision, watery eyes.

[Dave Anthony]

Gareth, what are you reading?

[Gareth Reynolds]

AI?

[Beth Stelling]

No, I'm not. Merriam Webster.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, same thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'M reading IA which is what I do now. It's far better. Well, I'm an environmental guy, so I.

[Dave Anthony]

Think for the audience, I think we should just say that he was blinded.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Beth Stelling]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And the guy got a $25 fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Then. Then someone wrote a song, and it was Blinded by the lime. Okay, Now, I know that that was not a good joke.

[Dave Anthony]

We all.

[Beth Stelling]

And the teacher was like, do you know how little I get paid? I had to pay for this line myself.

[Dave Anthony]

I got to bring in my own lime to blind my students. Nothing new in it. A Missouri judge has gone to the trouble of deciding has a right to hold her skirts out of the mud.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the fuck? France is light years ahead of us.

[Dave Anthony]

She does Missouri.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know.

[Dave Anthony]

What are you saying?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That in other countries, there's, like, cops being like, you can wear pants, ma'. Am. And then here we're like, you are allowed to not get your dress muddy. We're clicking two stones together.

[Beth Stelling]

They think we're using stepping in mud as an excuse to flash our calf.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's right.

[Beth Stelling]

I just needed to get a little credit for this calf.

[Dave Anthony]

You're making men horny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's mud. Gosh, mud's everywhere today.

[Beth Stelling]

Is it so wrong to feel sexy over mud?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look at all this mud.

[Dave Anthony]

Lord, think of the men. The women themselves had decided the question long before Missouri judges ever heard of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, what?

[Dave Anthony]

They're saying that women were already doing that? They weren't gonna.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, they were like, oh, thanks for.

[Beth Stelling]

Allowing me to lift my skirt. I've been doing it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It's now legal.

[Dave Anthony]

Some guy just got mad at it and took it to court.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Or someone must have fined a lady. Right. That's probably what happened.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Beth Stelling]

If you don't like it, get rid of the mud.

[Dave Anthony]

Thank you.

[Beth Stelling]

Isn't that your job as a man?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Beth Stelling]

Get rid of here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Get rid of all the mud.

[Beth Stelling]

You don't want me lifting my skirt.

[Dave Anthony]

This is another story in Indiana. There's no dating anything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's nothing on Dayton.

[Dave Anthony]

What if I like a muddy skirt?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. Christ, those guys. We should be mudding the women. I'm gonna do a quick note to the editor again, so cut out the last 20 minutes. I apologize. You guys had some good stuff, but I don't think it's gonna be able to live. I'm sorry.

[Beth Stelling]

I have a heart out in two minutes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I also have a heart out.

[Dave Anthony]

That's fair.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hard out's a great one. In the audition, I have a heart out of four minutes.

[Beth Stelling]

I noticed that you guys were running behind and I do have a heart out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The heart out.

[Beth Stelling]

So listen good.

[Dave Anthony]

Listen good. Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you know what's better than flowers that die in just three days? Matching underwear. I'm talking about me undies. Mandy's figured out Valentine's Day gifts better than anybody else with their matching underwear for couples. It's very cute.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You and I actually do have matching underwear now.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we got the dinosaur ones.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. I have five flowers and hearts.

[Dave Anthony]

Stegosaurus and the Tyrannosaurus rex.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. Okay, I guess we don't have matching ones.

[Dave Anthony]

But I'm gonna get yours and put them on and wear them, and then I'll give them back to you. Me Undies makes matching underwear specifically for couples like Gareth and I. Same adoring little prints, different cuts for each of you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm a little prince.

[Dave Anthony]

And they're all made from their signature ultra model fabric. That feels incredibly soft.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right? They are amazing boxer shorts.

[Dave Anthony]

They are super soft.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good stretch, good comfort.

[Dave Anthony]

Particularly when I put Garrison after he's worn them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or the same time you and I've been walking around in the same pair a little bit.

[Dave Anthony]

Over 300 million pairs sold. 90,000. Five star reviews. People love them because they feel amazing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

And they look great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

And they got a first pair promise, 45 days risk free. If your first pair doesn't work out, they'll make it right. No hassle at all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Are we going to upload pictures of us in our b. Andy?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Probably not. Probably not.

[Dave Anthony]

I thought we were doing that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, they can go to the website. They're great, but you don't need to see us in them.

[Dave Anthony]

And I think. Gareth, you're selling used ones.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no, no. Just have a couple pairs that I'm very happy with and I'll be keeping them. I actually have more than a couple of pairs. I have other pairs, but I have two new pairs and I'll just be keeping those. Mine. They're all going to be mine.

[Dave Anthony]

Regular underwear stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Completely. It wouldn't even be worth you mentioning anything. Which you did and you shouldn't have.

[Dave Anthony]

I'll send you pics.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't want any.

[Dave Anthony]

Make this Valentine Day one to remember with matching underwear from Me Undies to get exclusive deals. Up to 50 off, go to MeUndies.comDollop and enter promo code Dollop. That's Me Undies.com. promo code Dollop for up to 50% off. I'm wearing them. They're soft, Gareth. Touch them. Hindu sleeper Rudely awakened by robbers. This is in Indiana. This is out of Indiana. H.V. seldenberg, who styles himself the Hindu Sleeper. Okay, I don't know what's happening right now. Wow. I have no idea what's happening.

[Beth Stelling]

I don't think you're allowed to say this.

[Dave Anthony]

You can't. You can't call yourself a Hindu Sleeper if your name is Seldenberg.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think Beth is right. I don't think continuing to say Hindu Sleeper is the right movie.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, that's what he is. He's the Hindu Sleeper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just. It's really.

[Beth Stelling]

Please stop saying what does it mean?

[Dave Anthony]

I hope they tell us, but I bet they won't. Had the most trying experience Wednesday night at JP Burgers Casino on the south side in the Glassworks district.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, Late Saturday night, Seldenberg sled. Now it's. Now his name has changed. Now it's Sleddenberg. Started on a seven days sleep or hypnotic expedition. Okay, so he's sleeping a long time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

A hypnotic exhibition or seven days sleep. He's just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is depression.

[Dave Anthony]

He's pretending.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This used to be called Hindu sleeping, but now we know it as depression.

[Dave Anthony]

And now I will sleep for seven days.

[Gareth Reynolds]

David Blaine's out of ideas. Christ. This is crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's watching a movie right here. He's sick.

[Dave Anthony]

Welcome to the casino. What an attraction that is from all over.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's gone for 15 days.

[Dave Anthony]

Thursday morning at an early hour, he was rudely awakened and roughly handled by burglars. The rough. What's happening?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The weird tactic for a burglar to be like, nash, wake him up. Yeah, I like to wake up and be like, my stuff. Instead they're like, we're robbing you. Hey.

[Dave Anthony]

So he. But he's at a casino doing this. So I assume it's like a show thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A show.

[Dave Anthony]

I think he's doing it for, like, sleeping.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, he's really out.

[Dave Anthony]

Entertainment was really bad back, but he's really sleeping. The rough box in which he was sleeping was all at once stood on end and hurled across the room.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the fuck?

[Dave Anthony]

While sledding.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bur this is actually. I actually do love this. A guy sleeping at the show is, we're gonna toss him around and see if we rouse him.

[Beth Stelling]

But he's called burgled.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, the burgled part is really throwing me off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Beth Stelling]

Unless people put coins in the box to reward him for such a good sleep.

[Dave Anthony]

That could be happening.

[Beth Stelling]

Hey, good job. I'm badly buying this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This guy's really out. How do you push that quarter in.

[Dave Anthony]

While Sleddingberg says some of the rowdies struck him with pins.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, probably like bowling pins over like.

[Beth Stelling]

Needles or pokey pins.

[Dave Anthony]

It could be a pokey pin. Pokey pin, but struck, I think. Yeah, you might be right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, striking someone with a pin is insane. You like that? There's more where that came from.

[Dave Anthony]

I actually don't.

[Beth Stelling]

Yeah, he's still. He's still sleeping now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Wakey, wakey.

[Dave Anthony]

Later, he heard someone in the room robbing the cash register and called. I. What the is this setup?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I live in a grocery store.

[Dave Anthony]

Why is there a cash register?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on.

[Beth Stelling]

I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

What do you. It's a sleeping guy in a box, and then there's a room with a cash register that he's in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I.

[Dave Anthony]

So what are you buying?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm buying this tale. So far I've heard no red flags.

[Beth Stelling]

I'm like, sounds normal. Wait, where are we again?

[Dave Anthony]

It's in a casino in Hartford City, Indiana.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is very normal.

[Beth Stelling]

Okay, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Try. As someone who studies history, this is regular.

[Dave Anthony]

Have you ever heard of Hartford City, Indiana?

[Beth Stelling]

Never.

[Dave Anthony]

Me neither.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My numbers have been dipping there.

[Dave Anthony]

We have two and a half standups here, and we would think that one of us would know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, now we're all figuring out who the half is because we know it's not Beth. And knowing you, I think it's not you.

[Beth Stelling]

Should I look up Hartford City?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it'll be the first time it's been googled.

[Beth Stelling]

Hartford City, Indiana. It's real.

[Dave Anthony]

It is real.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Known for the sleeping Hindu.

[Beth Stelling]

Northeast central part of the state as well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's well stated.

[Dave Anthony]

That's where the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's everywhere.

[Dave Anthony]

That's where the best.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's actually the state, so.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I mean, there's nothing really there, right? No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's why this guy could pull off such a good sleep.

[Dave Anthony]

He. Okay. Later he heard someone in the room robbing the cash register and he called lustily for help, but no one came.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, please.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, someone help me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've been robbed and I'm masturbating. Can you send up the boy?

[Beth Stelling]

What is that peaceful place.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah, it's peaceful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I was crashing, bro.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's a good place to sleep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I like that. He sleeps like curly.

[Dave Anthony]

He got on his hand. Hands and knee, by the way. I just read it something about the three stages because I was considering do one of them for episode and they. They kept going until they're really old.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And they really couldn't do the stuff anymore because they were so slow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've seen an old interview with them, like, way after Curly's dead, and he's like, Mo is just like. Well, no, I think the characters. The whole point of the boys was to really find themselves and create a bot. You were just like, you're poking each other's eyes. He's like, at the heart. It was a story about brotherhood. It's, like, shocking.

[Beth Stelling]

You guys were the first jackass.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Honestly. Yeah, they really were. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. He then telephoned to get the proprietor, but could not get him and sat on his coffin until morning when the bartender arrived. So this is now. It's, like, turned into, like, a vampire.

[Gareth Reynolds]

An emergency bartender. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Why are you sleeping in a coffin? You're just sleeping.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is there an emergency? I'm the bartender.

[Dave Anthony]

The thieves secured $12. Sledberg declares that he will never take on another spell in a saloon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, he was doing this all in a saloon.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, now it makes sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that would have been really helpful. Up top.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Beth Stelling]

This is just like us saying, you know, I'm not doing another bar show. If they didn't. Yeah, they weren't there. If it was an ambush and they didn't know that I was doing a show. They're trying to watch the game.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That vibe.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you want to hear the worst story ever? New York.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Whoa. Nobody said, yeah, New York.

[Beth Stelling]

You didn't give us time to answer.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, you want to hear it? New York.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

I am so. I've been there for, like, a year, and I took a gig in a bar, and I get there and there's no stage. He says, yeah, I'm just going to be standing up in one of the booths.

[Beth Stelling]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

And the Rangers are in the playoffs, and the playoff game is on.

[Beth Stelling]

This is not a show.

[Dave Anthony]

And he turns off all the TVs halfway through the second quarter of a Rangers game in New York and tells me to just stand up on a booth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How bad is force comedy, huh? You guys hate that. I got one worse. One time I show up for a bar show, and the guy goes, okay, the show is behind the bar. So I go there, and he goes, and all your jokes have to be making drinks. And I go, I think you just are forcing me to be a bartender.

[Dave Anthony]

That's like a.

[Beth Stelling]

He's like, this is basically. Have a comedian that was a bartender working a shift. And he was like, you got a cover for me?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

All right.

[Beth Stelling]

Everybody are desperate enough to do it. He wasn't wrong.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And everyone got gin and tonics at night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of course, I would gladly. I'd still do it. Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

And reunion hereafter may be disappointing. Rabbi H advises his hearers not to be too sanguine about the resurrection.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is. What? Oh, wait. The reunion.

[Dave Anthony]

The reunion. I guess. I guess that makes sense now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, so this is. This is out of Chicago. So again, no Dayton stories. No, Beth, Nobody cares about Dayton. In Dayton.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think it's good, though.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Beth Stelling]

No news is good news.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. There's nothing to report. Until Beth got involved. Beth put Dayton on the map.

[Dave Anthony]

This is. If the life to come is to be a. A continuation of the life here, there is a possibility that a reunion. There will be a disenchantment with these words. Dr. Emil G. Hirsch, in a lecture at Temple Israel last night, is considered by some to have cast a shadow on. Of question on the resurrection as generally believed by Christians.

[Beth Stelling]

Emile Hirsch from It's into the Wild.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right. Same guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's been doing stuff forever. He's been crushing.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So they. He is. The rabbi is downplaying the Christian reunion story.

[Dave Anthony]

It sounds like it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he's talking some.

[Dave Anthony]

He's talking smack.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Beth Stelling]

Yeah, but what do we mean? Reunion.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When Jesus comes.

[Dave Anthony]

When you get. I think when you die, then you go up and you get. You see Jesus and he's like, hey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's like, oh, have you not heard? He's a huge dick.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. You get up there. Jesus is like. You guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's a cloud diva.

[Dave Anthony]

You guys, me, Jesus.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's great to be here. Yeah. I'm kind of in the middle of something. Christ. Anyway, what were you saying?

[Beth Stelling]

Yeah, that sends you back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Beth Stelling]

I don't look anything like those photos. Can you tell them, honestly, those lords, not me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good luck. You guys are really overdoing the cross stuff. Jesus, I'm a huge fan. Please, sir. I'm actually talking to a friend right.

[Beth Stelling]

Now, and John wasn't really that involved. If you want to go back.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it was not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

He's off doing his own.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It's always. John went solo.

[Dave Anthony]

John, in all religious and in all churches, said Hirsch, there is some idea of a resurrection after death. In most of them, the idea is too material. On the death of a near relative or of a friend, we are expected to find comfort in the belief that sometime after we are to be reunited.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree with this guy. We were setting up way too much.

[Dave Anthony]

Stuff for the after to place implicit confidence in that belief is wrong.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree. I agree. I think we overdo it. We're always like. Then you get to go back and take another picture at Sears in heaven together.

[Beth Stelling]

This is a. This is an op Ed, is it not?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is. This is an op Ed. This is. And it's a. It's bad about the afterlife.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do love arguing. You fools. That is not what happens when you die. Here's the answer. I have it.

[Dave Anthony]

People who are reunited after a long separation frequently find that the reunion is not all they expect it to be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who is he talking to? Having talked to many ghosts, but the whole.

[Dave Anthony]

Too. So he's. He's. He's Jewish, so he's like undermining. You're like, look, you guys are all thinking you're gonna go to heaven and be. Have this sweet ride, but it's not that great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not happening.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It's the tough talk. You'd be like, why did I show up to temple tonight? It's really a lot of bullshit. No cars on Saturdays. All right?

[Dave Anthony]

Do not paint your faith to a vague hope of meeting of a meeting hereafter which may disappoint you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is hugely disappointing if you are showing up to temple or church for like 30 years.

[Dave Anthony]

But the other thing is, like, nobody. Nobody knows, bro. It's just some guys. It's really. It's an op Ed. It's just one guy saying a thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you. You do think we reunite? Because I do like that.

[Dave Anthony]

I think. I think we. When we die, there's no heaven, but we go into Jesus.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a really bad answer.

[Dave Anthony]

Obviously, he absorbs us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you think? What do you think happens after you die?

[Beth Stelling]

Well, I. I think you do get to take a picture with God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Put.

[Beth Stelling]

And they. They send that to Facebook.

[Dave Anthony]

Is it a selfie?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Heaven's Facebook. It's interesting.

[Beth Stelling]

Yep. You get a little photo op. Everybody knows you made it save.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, that makes sense here.

[Beth Stelling]

Depending on how you like how many likes you get is how. How many amenities you get while you're there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You could genuinely create this religion. There's definitely a market for what you're doing right now. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

This could easily be done.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Uploaded likes.

[Beth Stelling]

You're looking pretty comfy up in heaven. You can get a couple extra pillows, turn down service.

[Dave Anthony]

You take that to Silicon Valley and they would give you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Unfortunately, you got 12 likes, so we're gonna have to put you to hell.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Sorry, you're down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's unfortunate.

[Dave Anthony]

Married widow and her three daughters.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Married widow.

[Dave Anthony]

Question arises.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Strange way of saying widow.

[Beth Stelling]

Married widow. Wait.

[Dave Anthony]

Redundant married widows. Redundant yeah, Married widow and her three daughters.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Beth Stelling]

No, but are they not just saying, like, this woman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, widow carries the marriage part, and.

[Beth Stelling]

Now she has a second.

[Dave Anthony]

Unless she. Unless she's a widow who got married again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Right. If she's a remarried widow, you're bouncing.

[Beth Stelling]

Around, but then you're robots.

[Dave Anthony]

Are you technically a widow?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We got our Internet. Okay, There we are.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, but are you technically, once. Once you get married, are you no longer a widow? Does it clean the slate?

[Beth Stelling]

I. I think to me they're basically saying it's just another fun way to shame a woman because I feel like it's remarried, but maybe I'm wrong.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. That if it's that, then I'm okay. Then I'll back off.

[Beth Stelling]

It's basically saying, like, hey, just so you know, she lost the first one, he's he gone, but she's married now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To the second guy. All right.

[Beth Stelling]

Then they like it when you're not divorced. And yes. Kept one of them alive forever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, because if.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why did your last relationship end?

[Dave Anthony]

If it's a. If it's a widow, it's not her fault. But if. If it's a divorce, then it's her fault.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is her.

[Dave Anthony]

She's problematic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is. She is probably. And that's holding true still.

[Beth Stelling]

That's why I never got married.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's why I killed my wife. Go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

Information is reached here of the marriage. This is out of Tennessee. Information is reached here of the marriage of John Newberry and Ms. Patty Barron. Newberry lives about 10.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She had kids.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Interesting.

[Beth Stelling]

She's an oxymoron. She's a married widow. She's three kids.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's barren.

[Dave Anthony]

Newberry lives about 10 miles from Tala. Talahoma, Tullahoma. Tulahoma. There would be nothing unusual in the marriage if it was not for the previous matrimonial ventures of Newberry. John. That's John. Or is that her?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, that's. That's.

[Beth Stelling]

No, she's Baron, John. She's baron.

[Dave Anthony]

About 35 years ago, he married the widow Sally Barham.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's got a type.

[Dave Anthony]

He's a widow guy who was then the mother of three daughters, Judy, Martha and Patsy.

[Beth Stelling]

Is this a story about my stepdad?

[Dave Anthony]

Four years after the marriage. Four years after the marriage, his wife died, leaving one child, a son by Newberry. After waiting about a year, he married Judy. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You don't care.

[Dave Anthony]

Oldest daughter of his deceased wife. Now, this is. Oh, we just. Woody Allen without the dying part.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The director. Oh, boy, that's so weird. Jesus Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I watched you grow up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just the worst. It is so bad. So bad.

[Dave Anthony]

We have a. On this podcast we have a long standing lack of understanding of how you can watch a girl grow up and then want to have sex.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And yet we have Chris De Leon like regularly. It's weird the way we. I don't know. I guess it's the charm. He may. I'm okay with him doing it. Everyone else, it's weird.

[Dave Anthony]

My favorite comedians are greasy looking pedophiles.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, he's great.

[Beth Stelling]

What's that say about you, Dave?

[Dave Anthony]

No, it's just that I'm a classic guy David type. I'm just. I'm.

[Beth Stelling]

Look, Austin does separate the art from the artist.

[Dave Anthony]

We have good. We do good comedy in Austin. I know what everyone's talking about. After waiting about one year, he married Judy, the oldest daughter of his deceased wife. In two years, Judy followed her mother to the grave, leaving a baby girl.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh God. You better. I swear I'm gonna punch you if this goes.

[Dave Anthony]

If he.

[Beth Stelling]

That.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If he. That baby, I'm gonna be Dave. Do you understand me? If he.

[Beth Stelling]

You.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He leave. He better leave her alone again.

[Dave Anthony]

Waiting a reasonable.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, shut up.

[Dave Anthony]

Reasonable. Time to mourn. Newbery took unto himself Martha to wife. Martha is Judy's sister. So he married the second.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a little better.

[Dave Anthony]

The second daughter of his wife.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's just sight. He's.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, he's go out in town.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait a minute. There are other women in town. Oh, oh.

[Beth Stelling]

Does he leave the house at all?

[Dave Anthony]

Don't sound like it. Doesn't sound like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, your sister's dead. Should we do it Seems like there's no other option that we should be married or. I married the baby as we do.

[Dave Anthony]

We're going to make love on this casket.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There we are.

[Dave Anthony]

Family traditions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a fine thing to say. Nobody should be upset.

[Beth Stelling]

Spencer, BLEEP that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a quick lift. I'm running for city council, so gonna need you to lift a few things out of the episode. To be quite honest with you. The thing has to go and then you hear it. God damn it. Dude. What? I told you I put an echo on it.

[Beth Stelling]

I'm gonna have all the wrong people voting for me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, so he took himself Martha to wife who after living a number of years followed her sister and mother to the grave.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's killing these women.

[Dave Anthony]

So the marriage last week.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Of Newberry and Patsy absorbed the baby. Patsy was the third Sister. Oh, he married all the sisters.

[Beth Stelling]

Jesus.

[Dave Anthony]

He married all the cloning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your dog.

[Dave Anthony]

That is insane.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't either. It's crazy. I can't believe the third one was like, for sure. I mean, that Is. That everyone's mentally ill. Well, she.

[Beth Stelling]

You know, she didn't have a choice. But you know me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's like, men have been quite fair.

[Beth Stelling]

I was joking about the first two. You're the one I always wanted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, now that I worked my way through the vegetables. Time for the dish.

[Dave Anthony]

It's time for the death Dick. Whoever it touches will perish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Beth Stelling]

What if he just has chlamydia? And it can.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is a great mystery. And then I realized. You have chlamydia.

[Beth Stelling]

It was me who was the problem.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God. I'm the one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that's crazy. Boy, that actually makes a lot of sense.

[Beth Stelling]

Okay, my bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That makes a lot of. You know what? I'm gonna. I'll be honest. I have some blame in this.

[Dave Anthony]

I guess I do. Oh, my God. Baby, you're 16 now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God.

[Dave Anthony]

Now the question arises. What. Kin to one another are the offspring of the four marriages?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, they're like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, what is the What? Yeah, what are they?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, what are they? Well, they're all cousins or.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Exactly.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they're cousins and brothers and sisters.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Daughters.

[Dave Anthony]

They're cousins and brothers and sisters.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, sure.

[Dave Anthony]

As God wanted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, Beth's leaving the.

[Dave Anthony]

Beth took off, so.

[Beth Stelling]

Sorry. Some dogs are pretty. We're going pretty crazy around here.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, it's fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now we know where you are.

[Dave Anthony]

It's fine. It's just ice. Beth, no big deal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Josh figured out where you live.

[Dave Anthony]

President congratulates parents of triplets.

[Beth Stelling]

Oh, the President.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, President. It's a big deal.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a big deal. Back then we have a lot more triplets now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The guy from the previous story was like, are they sisters? Send them my way.

[Beth Stelling]

They keep dying, but they're staying the same age.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have a killer dick.

[Dave Anthony]

I think that there were more triplets back. Less triplets back then because of the whole living thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right?

[Dave Anthony]

Living through.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. They die.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. They would die. Sends three photographs of himself as presents for the three.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a Trump. That is such a Trump move. Congratulations on your wonderful womb. Here's. Here's three pictures of me.

[Dave Anthony]

This is out of New Jersey. George Cunningham of this city, who recently became the father of triplets, all boys, yesterday received a letter from President Roosevelt congratulating him. The letter reads, Mr. George Cunningham. My dear sir, I congratulate you and Mrs. Cunningham. Oh, that was nice. That was so nice to congratulate her. Throw her name in there also. That was really.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And your vessel, A huge bully to you. And all your work. And that thing that held it. And the egg holder.

[Dave Anthony]

Congrats to you and the womb that you own.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There we are.

[Dave Anthony]

That is the kind of American citizenship in which I believe I send you three photographs of myself for the three new Cunningham boys. And my compliments, genuinely awesome, Mrs. Cunningham, with that wish. Best wishes, Theodore Roosevelt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow, that is. That is so just.

[Beth Stelling]

Did he sign it? Was that a thing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He must have.

[Dave Anthony]

He must have signed the pictures.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. It is interesting to wonder when the thing. That is a very interesting question.

[Dave Anthony]

Pictures are rare back then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. But signing it, the signature.

[Beth Stelling]

Right. When did I just start?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they must. I bet if they were doing it then, don't you think?

[Beth Stelling]

I think they were glossy.

[Dave Anthony]

Or you. Or you just send a letter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just him and like the quads. Here's four different looks. I could be a doctor, a tennis player. The president.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm betting AI gives us a total nonsense answer. So let's check it out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I know in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Hitler signs his autograph book. So we know it was around in World War II.

[Dave Anthony]

Is that true?

[Beth Stelling]

He sends like a proof sheet. He's like, circle, which one you want?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which one? Which look is best?

[Dave Anthony]

I'm in the westerns around the. Around the 1930s.

[Gareth Reynolds]

1930S. So there was no autographs back then. That had to be a weird first. That's a weird first.

[Beth Stelling]

Maybe back then it was like stealing your soul. I can't show you my autograph.

[Dave Anthony]

I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a weird thing to be like.

[Beth Stelling]

Someone, like someone asked me, can you sign this ticket? And I signed it. How? I sign my credit cards. And I was like, oh, I never thought I have to go back in because I do you full name versus my name.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you have two different signatures?

[Beth Stelling]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Interesting.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, smart. That's actually very smart of you. Now I feel.

[Beth Stelling]

Yeah. You don't want to be giving out your signature.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what's funny is you did it once and are like huge faux pas. So that's interesting.

[Dave Anthony]

And now everybody knows, so that's even better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, Preston, it's Gareth again from the past times. You're gonna really need your lifting fin fingers for this episode mcking.

[Beth Stelling]

Somebody goes back and recreate, steals your identity.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I'm ruined.

[Dave Anthony]

Thankfully. Okay, so it started.

[Beth Stelling]

Only ordered a Dyson vacuum.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Pretty expensive, though it did start here in the. In LA in the twenties when with the rise of film and baseball.

[Beth Stelling]

That makes sense.

[Dave Anthony]

But in apparently China, it was very common for emperors to do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Interesting.

[Dave Anthony]

Another big, folks. Okay. McCoy again seeks legal separation. The kid has sued wife's alleged lover for a hundred thousand in damages.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Beth Stelling]

1903.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is a. Yeah. It doesn't feel of the time. Wasn't. I mean. Okay, so the wife has a side piece and he's doing the side piece.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh. Kid McCoy is the guy's actual name.

[Beth Stelling]

Oh, thank you. I. That threw me off.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, okay, okay. There we go. That's. Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's a boxer.

[Dave Anthony]

This is from New York. He probably is. Look him up. Kid McCoy and his wife, who has divorced him twice and married him three times during the last six years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So they're still married.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes. Both shrink. Shrink from the publicity of a trial in their third effort for separation and justice. Gildersleeve today.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gilder sleeve is a great judge, by the way. That guy is phenomenal.

[Dave Anthony]

Gildersleeve today appointed Alexander Lament referee to take testimony and report.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is normal law. I guess you guys might not be understanding, but I'm a legal mind. You want a reference referee? Yeah.

[Beth Stelling]

It's unbiased.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Fair. Unbiased.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. We're in the whole outfit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's the whole thing. He's got flags, a whistle. It's a whole thing. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

That's what you want in court to take testimony, report to him whether the kid is entitled to absolute divorce. I like to point out, referee spelled wrong. Testimony spelled wrong. It's not a good article. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's fine, though.

[Dave Anthony]

The kid charges that while he was in Europe last July, his traveling companion, Ralph Thompson, son of a school Schenectady banker.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We don't need that part.

[Dave Anthony]

And grandson of the founder of a great locomotive works, gave him the slip, came back to New York and visited his wife who afterward went abroad with a party of which Thompson was a member. So she's around with another dude with his European companion. But like, you know, if you've gotten divorced twice and married three times to the same person, it's not. It's not going to work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

We live this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It only worked for Tom and Roseanne.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was the best.

[Dave Anthony]

By the way. She's really coming around. Stand up wise. It's really getting good again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's good. She found herself.

[Dave Anthony]

Ms. Selby, I do a lot of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stand up at TP USA, and that is a.

[Dave Anthony]

That is the best room. That is the best room.

[Beth Stelling]

Honestly, I sell so much merch there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah. It's a hot room.

[Beth Stelling]

200K in merch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I sell my autograph.

[Dave Anthony]

I do the. The. The.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nope.

[Dave Anthony]

Rubber neck thing. Ms. Shelby enters a general denial through Thomas Osborne. But her husband has also sued Ralph Thompson for 10, 100,000 in damage for taking away. Oh, yeah. So this is when you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Could you sue the lover? I like that.

[Dave Anthony]

But actually someone is doing that right now. There's like three states left that you can sue the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like that.

[Dave Anthony]

The other one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like that. Pro that.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. This was very common to sue the. The who? The you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My wife. I want all your money.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, why not? Yeah.

[Beth Stelling]

You're supposed to pay me for that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Your Honor, this man, my wife and he didn't pay me and I'd like some money for it. Is that crazy? That's not crazy. That's a really good case.

[Beth Stelling]

That was yours to use.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm just as gilded. Sleeve.

[Dave Anthony]

Was that his name?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You can trust me.

[Dave Anthony]

It's gilder sleeve.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm Gilder Sleeve. Gilder sleeve is when you don't have a tissue and you wipe your snot on your arm, you've got what's called a gilder sleeve.

[Dave Anthony]

Woman drugged and her hair clipped.

[Beth Stelling]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, boy.

[Beth Stelling]

Subject was a Barbie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a good idea for a doll. She drugged in her haircut.

[Dave Anthony]

This is out of Pennsylvania.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What did they take?

[Dave Anthony]

As she was seated in her home nursing her eight months old baby.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God.

[Dave Anthony]

Ms. William Stevens, mid nurse of Dunbar, was overpowered and chloroformed by two men. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

This is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So chloroform's real.

[Beth Stelling]

They sucked her dry and the baby hasn't woken up either because it's drinking the milk. What's good? Wouldn't that be amazing? They. They drug her. Suck on her milk. Drug themselves by accident. She wakes up first.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Beth Stelling]

These guys with milk around their mouths.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They really had a time. All right, Todd, take the left head, I'll go right. Dried milk.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, there was. Oh, my God. Her hair, which was exceptionally long and black, was clipped to the scalp. Oh, so this is a wig theft.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

They're taking that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know if that is the actual legal term.

[Dave Anthony]

It is. There's a whole.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Wig theft.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a wig lift. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

The bed we're seeing fleeing from the house by neighbors who made an investigation because they saw these guys running with hair. Yeah, it's never good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They got her in his arms.

[Dave Anthony]

And found the mother and baby unconscious.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? They chloroform the baby? Just give a little bit to the kid. The milk would go. You think it would go?

[Beth Stelling]

I don't know if it's that fast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. I don't know how chloroform works. And by the way, I just am saying that as an ally. I don't know how chloroform works. I'm on the right side of history. I wouldn't know what to do. Do you need a rag? I've never looked it up.

[Beth Stelling]

I've never done it once.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Never done it. I've never done it.

[Dave Anthony]

Classic woke.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

The assailants are believed to be peddlers who will dispose of the hair. As no other articles in the house were disturbed, the police conclude that the sole object of the raid was to steal Ms. Steven's luxuriant locks. Wow.

[Beth Stelling]

I mean this is bizarre. I guess I never knew stuff about this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I guess it's. There's a good. That's good wig. W market.

[Dave Anthony]

I guess we got a couple minutes left. So we'll do this last one. And this is. This one goes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then we'll do. Thanks. And then we do the song.

[Dave Anthony]

This one goes out to Gareth. This is special Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's about eggs, babe.

[Dave Anthony]

Smothered by cat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that is how I want to go.

[Beth Stelling]

Baby by fat cat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Babies. Babies kill cats. There was an article today that said they did research and cats think they're training you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's an important part of the dynamic. It's two equals. That is real. The cats do.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they think they're training people. Not the other way around.

[Beth Stelling]

Around.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And they don't meow unless they hear you talk.

[Dave Anthony]

Anyway, the 10 months old child of J.H. whitman, a farmer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we should point out this baby would already be dead if it were to have not had this done. Go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

Was killed last night by the family cat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. This is 1903 though. This is the.

[Dave Anthony]

So the cat family thinks the cat sucked the breath out of the baby.

[Beth Stelling]

That's a little fun.

[Dave Anthony]

The doctor says the cat simply lay on the child and smile.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Smothered. No, the cat definitely sucked it.

[Dave Anthony]

I told you. Cats are baby killers. We've been talking about this forever on this podcast. Cats will eventually exterminate the human race. Good night, everybody.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If I could see a cat suck the air out of a baby, I would say that it's worth taking the life.

[Dave Anthony]

I would pay for that. That would be a good Broadway show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. They make the biscuits. He's breathing again. Oh, my God. It's a mirror.

[Beth Stelling]

The cat did it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The cats did do it. Well, brought him back. Beth, we took a journey through history.

[Beth Stelling]

We did 1903.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Any lessons learned on this one? I don't think so. Right. Nothing.

[Beth Stelling]

Yeah, I mean the wig thing was honestly my shock.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wigs big. That's your biggest shock. I think the guy who hit the cycle through the sisters.

[Beth Stelling]

No, but that. Here's the thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's.

[Beth Stelling]

If anything, it just shows how much has not changed. My ex stepdad went on to marry two other women with three young girls. And I think it's also interesting that he was suing the side piece because like I like, look, everybody can be harmed by divorce and each party can lose money. It could be a night, especially in California where it's a no fault state. But it is quite interesting that back then the man was like. And I'm. I'm suing because the narrative has changed so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Beth Stelling]

To women taking all men's money.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Beth Stelling]

And it's like. And we should be a human thing.

[Dave Anthony]

We should.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're right. We should get back to the old ways. I, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Completely agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I think that for every article.

[Beth Stelling]

In this paper, I'm actually gonna go through Instagram and start suing all of my ex boyfriends.

[Dave Anthony]

There we go. There it is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, that's a. The afternoon. That's gonna be a great afternoon. That is a great way to spend the day. Well, Beth, people can go to BethStelling.com to watch you on the road. You are a great comic, so we appreciate you being here. People should go check you out.

[Beth Stelling]

And thank you guys, that's really nice and thank you for having me on. It was nice to take a stroll down back to the year I was born. 1903.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In the town you was born in.

[Beth Stelling]

That's right. Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, what's up, doll heads? This is Gareth Reynolds from the Doll up, the podcast. You're listening to. Hey, I've got some very exciting information. If you like movies and you're in the San Jose area. I made a movie. It's called Give it Up and it will be at the Cinequest Film Festival. You can go to giveitupfilm.com for tickets and information. It'll be March 15th is the main screening. So go to Give It Up Film also, if you like stand up comedy. February 4th, I'll be in Spokane. February 5th, Bend, Oregon. Then I'll be in Portland. February 6th and February 7th, three shows that night. Then I'll be at flappers in Burbank February 21 Bakersfield, February 27 for two shows. I will be in Albuquerque, New Mexico, April 19 Tulsa, Oklahoma, April 21 Bricktown comedy in Oklahoma City April 22 Dallas, Texas, April 23 Tyler, Texas, April 24. Finally, Houston, April 25. Two shows, Austin at the Great Cap City April 26 and then San Antonio April 28 and Tucson April 29. Garethreynolds.com for tickets and information, but also if you want to go see my movie and you're in the san Jose area, giveitupfilm.com.