The Dollop Episode 165 - The Past Times with Natalia Kvalem

Podcast: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds
Date: March 13, 2026
Guest: Natalia Kvalem
Theme: Exploring the delightfully strange, mundane, and problematic headlines from the New York Herald, December 7, 1922, with characteristic Dollop wit and irreverence.

Overview

In this installment of "The Past Times," Dave and Gareth are joined by comedian, circus performer, and burlesque artist Natalia Kvalem for a deep-dive into a randomly selected 1922 newspaper. The trio riff and react to stories ranging from bizarre thefts and gendered courtroom drama to prohibition headlines and the lighter side of prison life. As always, history is merely a launching pad for sprawling banter, wordplay, and absurd hypotheticals.

Key Discussion Points & Memorable Moments

1. Meet the Guest, Guess the Year

Timestamps: 01:18 – 04:06

• The trio banters about Natalia’s background in comedy, circus, and burlesque. Natalia jokes, “Criminal records, mostly. But beyond that, you can find me at Miss Kitty Divine…I do comedy, circus, and burlesque, you know, and for the right amount, I do take hits.” (02:05–02:23)
• They play the recurring guessing game of what year the newspaper is from. Natalia guesses the 1600s, Gareth says 2026, and Dave reveals: "It's 1922." (03:33)
• Light mockery ensues about always guessing the wrong decade and how guests usually win.

2. Headline: Whole Chicken, Ham & Kraut in Pockets

Timestamps: 05:02 – 13:20

• They confront the headline: “Whole cooked chicken, kraut in pockets.”
• Gareth compares the story to a scavenger hunt and wonders about the practicality of stuffing poultry in pockets. Natalia jokingly interprets “kraut” as “the original clout—you know, if you're walking around with a whole chicken, that's a lot.” (05:32)
• Dave reads the story about a dishwasher, Henry Kuzlo, who is caught with a roast chicken, two pounds of sauerkraut, a ham, and a bottle of ketchup hidden in his overcoat (10:19).
• Gareth, Dave, and Natalia argue about the proper role of ketchup. Gareth asserts, "Ketchup goes with everything," (11:12), while Natalia protests the condiment's inclusion in the smuggled feast.
• The consensus is that poor Henry is the victim of harsh economic times, not criminal intent.
• “You should be able legally to put as much food in your pockets as you can,” says Dave (12:57), leading to the running gag of a "ham magician" and "meat coat" flasher.

3. The Dog Who Can't Do Evil

Timestamps: 13:52 – 15:58

• A court defense is recounted: a Yorkville man claims his tiny French poodle is “deaf and thus can't do evil.” (14:02)
• Natalia and Gareth make fun of the weak logic, with Gareth throwing in, “Beethoven. Real jerk off. Also a dog.” (14:31)
• The trio riff on poodles' intelligence, canine duplicity, and Dave’s own three doodles: Pablo, Larry, and Maple.

4. Wife Can't Count, Husband Complains

Timestamps: 17:48 – 29:39

• Gareth highlights the ever-popular 1920s story: "My wife can't do math!"
• They joke about patriarchal logic—Gareth: “So you live in the era where women aren't allowed to spend any money...and yet this guy's all the way at the Supreme Court because he's like, she can't budget.” (20:40)
• Natalia introduces "girl math": “If a $50 item is 50% off, I just made $25 by buying!” (21:25), sparking Gareth’s reminiscence of “mom math.”
• Dave and Natalia question the foundational logic of the annulment case. Natalia: “I think he should be making more money. I think the problem isn't her math skills. It's that he's not making enough money to satisfy his wife.” (25:45)
• Gareth imagines a cunning wife pretending not to do math to trigger an annulment.
• Dave: "She does the reveal, which is like, you're 61 cents short. Wait, what? You idiot." (29:43)

5. Marital Strife and Restraining Orders, 1922-Style

Timestamps: 33:41 – 39:22

• They discuss a case where a judge orders a drunken, disorderly husband banned from the street his wife lives on for a year.
• “What you got to be a real piece of for a judge to be like, you need to move streets,” Gareth observes (34:31).
• The mechanics of visitation are mocked: “He will have to climb another fence and get in by his side door...We're gonna do the floor is lava the city for you.” (38:01, 38:47)

6. Dark Humor: Five Freed in Liquor Death & Comedy by Convicts

Timestamps: 40:41 – 46:33

• A story about five men charged with homicide after a woman’s death by acute alcoholism is analyzed. The group suspects foul play and mock-period legal logic.
• The group then examines a report on “Honey Girl,” a musical performed by convicts at Sing Sing Prison, drawing comparisons to modern prison reform and riffing on the notion of prison plays:
  “That is a play…This is the prison reform I wish to see," says Natalia (46:29–46:31).

7. Scandal! Smoking in the Senate

Timestamps: 47:01 – 51:02

• Senator-elect Wheeler from Montana “caused a mild sensation” by smoking a cigar in the Senate chamber. The group laments the bygone era when “smoking in the chamber” was headline news, with Gareth noting, “I pine for the time when that was in the paper.” (47:21)
• They lampoon the seriousness with which Senate etiquette was treated versus modern political scandals.

8. Mrs. Wilson Says Her Husband Obeys Orders

Timestamps: 52:15 – 54:16

• Edith Wilson, wife of President Woodrow Wilson, publicly declares how obedient and patient her husband has become during his illness.
• Jokes fly about spousal control, presidential syphilis, and marital diplomacy. Dave remarks: “We’re gonna need to put a little more iodine in your husband’s cocaine before we put it up his ass.” (53:49)

9. Yacht’s World Tour and Benevolent Racism

Timestamps: 54:36 – 59:22

• The group discusses a story about a yacht crew’s global trip, concluding with lighthearted skepticism and "sweet racism" as the travelers praise native “savages” for their hospitality and photogenic nature.
• Natalia: “Maybe, just maybe, we have something to learn from these morons.” (58:03)

10. Titanic & the Power of Belief

Timestamps: 55:31 – 59:52

• The segment turns to the Titanic, with Gareth and Natalia spinning an absurdist conspiracy that the ship’s fate isn’t actually sealed, “The Titanic is still floating around and only those who believe can see it.” (59:47)

11. Natalia’s Circus Plug

Timestamps: 60:55 – 61:13

• Dave and Gareth thank Natalia, urging listeners to check out her comedy, circus, and burlesque, and marvel at her insight and wit:
  “I do fire. I do Ariel. I do hula hoops and children's birthday parties and funerals.” — Natalia (60:59)

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Natalia (on alternative burlesque gigs): “For the right amount, I do take hits.” (02:22)
• Dave (on ketchup): “I think you should be able legally to put as much food in your pockets as you can.” (12:55)
• Gareth (on the ‘meat coat’ suspect): “He looks like a flasher, but instead it’s just buffet-style.” (13:23)
• Natalia (on ‘girl math’): “If a $50 item is 50% off, I just made $25 by buying!” (21:25)
• Gareth (on 1922 divorce logic): “You live in the era where women aren’t allowed to spend any money…yet this guy’s all the way to the Supreme Court because she can’t budget.” (20:40)
• Dave (on old political scandals): “The story is that he's smoking a cigar, and everyone's like, that's rude. Yeah, that's the story.” (49:11)
• Natalia (on prison musicals): “This is the prison reform I wish to see.” (46:29)
• Dave (on Woodrow Wilson): “We're gonna need to put a little more iodine in your husband's cocaine before we put it up his ass.” (53:49)

Structure of the Episode

• 00:45–03:33: Guest intro & year guessing
• 05:02–13:20: Chicken/ham/kraut headline & kitchen banter
• 13:52–15:58: The deaf dog defense
• 17:48–29:39: “Wife can’t count” and girl math discourse
• 33:41–39:22: Judge bans husband from street
• 40:41–46:33: Liquor death / prison musical
• 47:01–51:02: Senate smoking “scandal”
• 52:15–54:16: Edith Wilson ‘rules’ Woodrow
• 54:36–59:22: Yacht world trip, sweet racism
• 60:55–61:13: Natalia’s circus/plug

Final Thoughts

This episode is a classic Past Times: a tongue-in-cheek dissection of forgotten news, with tangents about everything from economic inequality and prison reform to condiment etiquette and conspiratorial Titanic optimism. Natalia brings sharp wit and fresh energy, sparring and riffing seamlessly with Dave and Gareth.

If you haven't listened:

• Expect irreverent humor, modern-day analogies, and sarcasm.
• The show doesn't shy away from the problematic or the absurd.
• The chemistry between the hosts and the guest is unforced and playful throughout.