679 - Don the Talking Dog

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds Episode: 679 - Don the Talking Dog Release Date: April 15, 2025

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Introduction to Don the Talking Dog

In Episode 679 of The Dollop, hosts Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds delve into the peculiar and captivating story of Don the Talking Dog, a German canine who purportedly possessed the ability to communicate using human language. The episode intertwines historical facts with the hosts' signature humor, making the tale both informative and entertaining.

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Don's Early Life and Training

[04:29] Dave Anthony introduces Don as a setter or pointer with dark brown hair, medium-sized build, originating from the small village of Thichut, Germany. Don's owner, Herman Ebers, recognized his unusual behavior early on. At six months old, Don began exhibiting behaviors that suggested an eagerness for communication.

[05:03] Gareth Reynolds humorously comments on Don's sophisticated demeanor, emphasizing the comedic contrast between a talking dog and everyday canine antics.

[05:27] Dave Anthony recounts how Don would beg with "wonderfully appealing eyes," leading Martha Ebers, Herman's daughter, to train him using his affinity for cakes (kuchen in German). Within weeks, Don learned to say "haben hunger" (have hunger) and "kuchen" on command, a feat noted by the New York Times as particularly challenging for German children due to linguistic nuances.

Notable Quote:

• [07:09] Gareth Reynolds: "Look who's running. I get to pick. I'm helping to pick or I'm..."

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Public Recognition and Vaudeville Stardom

Don's unique abilities quickly garnered international attention. Carl Hagenbeck, a renowned German animal trainer and circus founder, offered €2,500 to exhibit Don in his outdoor menagerie in Hamburg. However, offers soon escalated, with one proposal valuing Don outright at €15,000—a substantial sum at the time.

[14:12] Dave Anthony humorously imagines the absurdity of navigating the complex offers, comparing it to negotiating pet celebrity status today.

Don's rise to fame saw him performing across various American cities, including Sacramento, Boise, Spokane, Seattle, Portland, Bend, and San Francisco. His ability to utter words like "hunger," "kuchen," and later additions like "yes" and "no," made him a beloved figure in vaudeville circuits.

[10:52] Dave Anthony: "Dogs are so lame."

[11:15] Gareth Reynolds: "Kuchen. Hunger. V. Kuchen."

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Skepticism and the Clever Hans Comparison

Despite the widespread adoration, skepticism existed regarding Don's true abilities. The episode draws parallels to Clever Hans, a horse believed to perform arithmetic and other intellectual tasks but later debunked as responding to subtle human cues.

[18:37] Dave Anthony introduces Professor Oscar Fungust, who critically examined Don's performances. Fungust concluded that Don merely responded to human gestures and suggestions, similar to Clever Hans, and that the perceived speech was a result of audience expectation rather than genuine communication.

[19:01] Dave Anthony: "The whole tapping kind of dealio. Yeah."

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Don's Heroic Feat and Continued Performances

In a dramatic turn, Don attempted a rescue operation at Hotel Shelburne in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn. While trying to save a drowning waiter by pulling him out of the ocean, both Don and the waiter ended up in distress. A passerby police officer capable of understanding German intervened but was ultimately overwhelmed by a passing lifeguard boat, leaving Don to resume his carefree demeanor immediately after the incident.

Notable Quote:

• [64:30] Dave Anthony: "Don then swam over to the drowning waiter and began pulling on his bathing suit."

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Decline of Vaudeville and Don's Legacy

As vaudeville began to wane with the rise of motion pictures, Don's performances became less frequent. Despite retiring and returning to Germany in late 1915, Don's legacy as one of the earliest canine celebrities persisted. His story remains a fascinating chapter in American entertainment history, highlighting the blurred lines between genuine animal abilities and orchestrated performances for public amusement.

[62:54] Dave Anthony: "The Times reported, quote, Don will sail on the conference Wilhelm next Wednesday."

[67:58] Gareth Reynolds: "I'm still a little dubious."

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Conclusion: Reflecting on Don's Impact

Dave and Gareth wrap up the episode by contemplating the cultural impact of Don the Talking Dog. They acknowledge the blend of genuine curiosity and entertainment that such phenomena inspire, leaving listeners to ponder the authenticity of animal intelligence and the lengths to which humans will go for fame and fascination.

[70:34] Dave Anthony: "Win. We all win."

[70:40] Gareth Reynolds: "Not all of us."

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Additional Notes

• The episode includes humorous interactions and banter between Dave and Gareth, particularly when discussing advertisements and personal anecdotes unrelated to the main topic. However, these segments are minimal and do not detract from the core historical narrative.

• Sources Cited:

  • New York Times
  • Springfield Daily Republican
  • Idaho Statesman
  • Spokane Press
  • Oakland Tribune
  • Poverty Bay Herald
  • New York Tribune
  • Smithsonian Magazine

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This detailed summary encapsulates the key discussions and insights from Episode 679 of The Dollop, providing listeners with a comprehensive overview of Don the Talking Dog's intriguing story in American history.

Transcript

[Dave Anthony]

The Dollop is going on tour in June 2025. We will be in Sacramento on June 3rd. We'll be in Boise, Idaho, on June 4th, Spokane on June 5th, Seattle on June 6th, Portland on June 7th, Bend, Oregon, on June 8th, and San Francisco on June 10th. Go to the dollop podcast.com to get all our tour links for tickets. You're listening to the Dollop on the All Things Comedy Network, which Gareth loves. This is an American history podcast where each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to a cat owner.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right. I'm more than that. No, stop it. And then never do that. No idea what the topic is going to be about. Comedy. Great. Again. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Matt, do you love your cat?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Love him.

[Dave Anthony]

So you're a cat lover?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. All right. I'm a cat lover. It's just when. When aggressive types start to say stuff like that, sensitive sweeties got to be careful because the aggressive types might try to use it against them.

[Dave Anthony]

I would never do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now you have on repeated occasions in a number of ways, and one of your things is doing it, you know, spilling the oil and then saying, how did we get all this oil over here? You're that guy.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you ever get down between the cat's hind legs at all?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pardon?

[Dave Anthony]

In. In the loving things that you do, do you ever get down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you say? What are you suggesting? In his heavier days, I would wipe his bottom with wipes. Is that what you're talking? Wind would, though now he could tongue it himself.

[Dave Anthony]

Would the wiping.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Would it stay within that region or would it go forward a little bit?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stay there.

[Dave Anthony]

It wouldn't go forward a little bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It would stay there. It was clinical purely. And you're doing the thing. No.

[Dave Anthony]

How much did he like it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He didn't like it. He hated it and I hated it. But we love each. No.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. I call it his jam pad. Jam pad.

[Dave Anthony]

You can't do the actual. So now we're not gonna. Now we're not gonna.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gareth, not Gary. Hi, Gary.

[Dave Anthony]

So we're not using the theme song.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not gonna become a tickling podcast. Okay. Hey. Oh, man. That guy's crazy. The Dollop. The Dollop. All right, we're back. The Dollop is brought to you by RO Money.

[Dave Anthony]

Gareth tosses his cat salad. We're going to have tour dates in June. This is the year of our Lord 2025. We are at the Sacramento Punchline on June 3rd. Then we head to Boise on June 4th, Spokane on June 5th. Seattle on June 6th. Portland on June 7th. Bend on June 8th. San Francisco on June 10th. You can get tickets@dollop podcast.com tour. That's where the links are. You can link and have fun. You know, the whole thing. You know, I. I know that. I think ACDC is touring, you know, the states, so you have to make a choice. But we're the choice. ACDC are old and weird and we're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Less old and super weird.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we're weirder. Gareth. It's. Let's just get into it. Let's just get into the thing. Yeah. You got a mug with your cat on it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You think? You think? Hey, just fresh eyes. I might.

[Dave Anthony]

There's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

On the.

[Dave Anthony]

On the back of the mug. Is there a cat anus?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Coffee's over.

[Dave Anthony]

1905, year of our Lord Jesu Christo. Sure. J Town, as he's known to the kids.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

He. By the way, he's got some really great merch. He got headbands which are rad and the kids love them. And the kids are super into Jesus because he talks to talk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Be quiet and post a picture of a kid in a J Town headband.

[Dave Anthony]

A dog was born in Germany.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right?

[Dave Anthony]

He was named Don by his owner, which is a weird name for a German guy. That. Right? Is that. Is that a German name? Don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don.

[Dave Anthony]

It's weird, right? D o N. D o N. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not Don. No. It's not normal. It's not working for me. Don. No.

[Dave Anthony]

His owner was gay warden Herman Ebers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, there's a German name.

[Dave Anthony]

He lived in the small village of Thichut in Germany. Don was described as a setter or a pointer with dark brown hair. And he's medium sized.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Medium build. Pointer. Got it right.

[Dave Anthony]

When Don was six months old, he was in his usual spot while the family ate dinner.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

Begging. Begging like a fucking asshole.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, sure.

[Dave Anthony]

You know what I mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's a dog.

[Dave Anthony]

Which was sitting and begging with his, quote, wonderfully appealing eyes. See a pretty eyes. Pretty dog eyes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's cutie.

[Dave Anthony]

Herman looked at Don and said, quote, you want something special, don't you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that's germ. Even if a German is saying that in earnest. I'm getting. I'm picking up. I'm like, I'm nervous. You want something special, don't you?

[Dave Anthony]

You want something special.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Herman was very shocked when Dodd said back quote, want in German, which is haben.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh? Well, you. Don, said the dog.

[Dave Anthony]

He replied to the question. Sure, Hoppin. He want he want.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Want.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

So Hearn repeated the question to make sure he didn't mishear a bark or something. Right. It wasn't a normal dog noise.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

And Don responded, hobbin hoppin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Want. Want. Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

And it. It's very clear he's using the word. Don is talking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh? Okay. Yeah. You know, yeah, let's. Let's hear a little more, please.

[Dave Anthony]

The New York Times would write an article about Don. Quote. Then Don's education began.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

The gamekeeper noticed that the dog was peculiarly apt. It was not just long. Sorry. It was not long before Don learned to repeat his name when asked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don, Don, Don, Don. You know, it's sort of. He sounds English. Don. It's like a sexy beast. Don.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But. But you want him to be English so you can do the accent because your German accent is not as good. And so that's what's going on there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, f. Look at that. A beckon strip. That'll go good with the rest of the things I've been eating today.

[Dave Anthony]

You don't get. Just get to jump to an island near Germany because you want to do the accent.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

You got to stick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look whose accent. Shame. That is German, by the way. What are you speaking of?

[Dave Anthony]

So Don love cakes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like that. We have to have insights into it. Yeah, no shit. A dog. Yeah, yeah. He. Don licked his ass. Do you know Don like to sleep anywhere, really? Don drank water from the toilet once or twice.

[Dave Anthony]

So it was a couple of months later when Daam was able to say kuchen, which means cakes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, there's gonna be vagina cakes.

[Dave Anthony]

The Times noted, quote, a peculiarly difficult word even for a German child to pronounce because of the pursing of the lips required and the throaty ch of the culture of the guttural German language.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cochin. I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

Coin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cochin.

[Dave Anthony]

Herman's daughter Martha was said to be behind most of the speech training.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, so the dog is. It's a. It's parrot. It's parrot's communication.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, you know, saying. He's responding to questions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's. Nah. I mean. All right, well, parents do that too.

[Dave Anthony]

Though I just say you're being a little pessimistic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pessimistic.

[Dave Anthony]

Don had a serious weakness for cakes, as I said. And Martha exploited that with the training.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

And she taught Don to say hunger. When he was asked what he had in just weeks, Don was saying, haben hunger. Hunger's basically the same in German.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Haben. I have hunger. Haben unger Haben hunger.

[Dave Anthony]

And kuchen on command.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Haben hunger. Kuchen. Don. Don Haben Hutchen. What's the name? What's the word for kick?

[Dave Anthony]

Coochin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Kuchin. Ha. Don. Don Kuchin. Now, he was Don Kuchin, porn director.

[Dave Anthony]

Now. Now, Don was just often walking around saying, quote, hunger, want cakes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Right away I'd be like, there was. I enjoyed him speaking German for, like, three days.

[Dave Anthony]

There. There is a reason you don't teach dogs to hunger. Von.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cake. Hunger.

[Dave Anthony]

You don't want hunger.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dawn. Dawn. V. Cake. Hunger. V. Cake.

[Dave Anthony]

D. This is why you don't do it. So now. Sorry. Sometimes also, Don wanted. He would say, want cakes. Hunger. He would switch it up a little bit so it wasn't always in the same order.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, good. I fully understand.

[Dave Anthony]

Don next learned how to say yes and no. And it was reported he could use them appropriately when answering questions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nine. Nine.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nine. Coochin. Do you want to go for a walk, Don? Don. Nine. Kuchin.

[Dave Anthony]

Cakes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cakes. Kuchin. Kuchin.

[Dave Anthony]

For instance, Don hated the rain, so when he. When it was storming outside and he was asked if he wanted to go out, he'd say no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

9. Honestly, that is helpful.

[Dave Anthony]

That is helpful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is helpful. I've. I've definitely been like. Like, with my girlfriend's dogs. But, like, what you. Like the whole. The amount of time where you're trying to lure the dog out, you could just save it if it was like, nah, dogs just.

[Dave Anthony]

Dogs are so lame.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you got the three, though.

[Dave Anthony]

Just go outside. They're so. There's. They're awful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or the quick trip outside where they've, like, placated you. Like, I did it. I stood on the porch for a minute. So, yeah, let's end this. And you're like, why?

[Dave Anthony]

I'm not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you want. You don't have to.

[Dave Anthony]

Some people are skeptical that a dog could speak.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry.

[Dave Anthony]

They believed. They believed it was just growling or barking that was being misinterpreted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Kuchin.

[Dave Anthony]

But the Times answered that belief. Quote, none who have heard him agree with this view. They are unanimous in describing the deep breast tones which escape the animal as unmistakably human in timber and inflection.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There you go.

[Dave Anthony]

He's talking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And this is in the New York Times.

[Dave Anthony]

When have they ever not told the truth? Never. The greatest newspaper in the history of mankind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Dave Anthony]

Purely factual.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nope.

[Dave Anthony]

The Times said one could stand in another room and clearly hear the word hunger being spoken by the dog in another room.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It's strange that anyone's Dubious of. Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Strange though, Don did draw out the last syllable quote. When he is talking vigorously and proclaiming hunger, hunger with particularly eagerness, his body distends and one gets the impression that the speaking process is not affected without some sort of internal distress. So it's hard. It's hard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's painful.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not easy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not easy saying it's painful for him to speak or he's starving.

[Dave Anthony]

It's just. He's just trying really hard. Every time he says that, it takes a day off his life.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What year is this?

[Dave Anthony]

This is 1910 or so around there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, I'm glad we're getting. Listen, I'm just saying early. I'm glad that this was not during world war times that Don was able to speak. This could go a lot, a lot more south.

[Dave Anthony]

Interesting. Don soon attracted the attention of Carl Hagenbeck, who was a famous German.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is it the Gwen Stefani song?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Because there ain't no hog. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. No, go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ain't no hugging back dog. Ain't no hogg back dog. Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

He was a famous German animal trainer and circus founder. And he offered the Ebers 2500 to exhibit Don in his outdoor menagerie at Hamburg 9. So Don's taken off like people are into him. The idea. Now they want to put him in show business.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely.

[Dave Anthony]

Others made offers also. One was for 15,000 to just buy dawn outright. That's a lot of money back then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a lot of money, but it's your dog. I mean, that's. You know what I mean? It's like as the owner of a pet celebrity, it.

[Dave Anthony]

How much would you sell Jose for?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't want. I genuinely want to play this game.

[Dave Anthony]

What's the number?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I don't. I, I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

What's the number? 500,000.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

750, 000.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I loathe this game. No, a million. I don't want to play this game.

[Dave Anthony]

A million dollars. I'd love a million dollars. I know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where's he going? Do I know where he's going to great home.

[Dave Anthony]

He's going to a great home with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A B. I get to pick. I'm helping to pick or I'm.

[Dave Anthony]

I know the people. The people are buying Jose.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Walk me through there.

[Dave Anthony]

They're a great couple. They're like a straight couple. That all. All they want.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's the guy do? He's a good guy.

[Dave Anthony]

He used to. He doesn't drink now. He's very smoke weed a little bit occasionally, but not much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The wife, what's her deal?

[Dave Anthony]

She. She just worked for a non profit most of her life.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Helping someone home a lot.

[Dave Anthony]

There's always. They're. They're retired now. They're both always home.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And they have any other animals? Do they have any other animals?

[Dave Anthony]

They have some cows and that's it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is he going to be indoor?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, here's the thing. They live in a place where there are no coyotes and no wolves and they have an outdoor area.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Explore the outdoor.

[Dave Anthony]

Like a pasture?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, they kind of have the mat.

[Dave Anthony]

Farah cat and there's. There's mice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean here. Here's what here? Now let me just say this. What you're telling me is that Jose gets a better life.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I get.

[Dave Anthony]

He actually has a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

May I visit?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, you can visit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can I when I'm back from the road. Could I take two weeks and hang out there and be with him?

[Dave Anthony]

Not two weeks, no, you can come by and say, could I tend.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Could I stay there a couple nights?

[Dave Anthony]

No, you can't tent. No, you can't tent.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Could I stay there a couple nights?

[Dave Anthony]

You can stay there one night every six months.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, come on.

[Dave Anthony]

They're buying the cat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How's he doing with the trade off? He's into it.

[Dave Anthony]

They're buying the cat. Jose? Yeah, he loves it. It's like the best. It's like a cat heaven.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is he happier?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, because his owners are there all the time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Quiet, I'm talking.

[Dave Anthony]

Run away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop.

[Dave Anthony]

For weeks at a time. Stop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's not. I don't want to. Do they emotionally, are they going to get enough? I'll show the picture of your dad again. I will show the picture of your dad. Okay, well, that are they. I will show the golden.

[Dave Anthony]

A picture of you. Whenever he sees a picture of you, he goes, is daddy leaving? Hey, hey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm asking a question here. Now, there's a Japanese guy who deals with pets and he's come up with a vaccine that'll help extend the life of a cat to approximately 30 by eliminating the main cause of most disorders, kidney and liver. Yeah. So can he get that shot? Will they get him that shot? As I'm planning to, yeah. And I get $1 million.

[Dave Anthony]

You get a million dollars.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now if I take 750 and then I'll end this because I guarantee you there's some people listening who are going, isn't this a history show?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like if I get 750, can I stay there two weeks out of every three months.

[Dave Anthony]

No, that's too much. A week out of every six months. If you go 750, he's got a better life. Is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No one's running.

[Dave Anthony]

No one's running away on him. He's. There's. The person's always.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's why I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it because I'm going to. I'm going to. I'm going to open an area for other animals with that money. So it's going to save a lot of other animals lives. And I'm going to call it the Jose Veers of America.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Feline Jose Veers. And I'm going to get to him.

[Dave Anthony]

So we have a deal?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I.

[Dave Anthony]

We have a deal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have a d. We have a deal. Because every. There's a lot of good benefit to this.

[Dave Anthony]

All right. I was just saying how much it would be anyway. And then once we get him hooked up to the milking machines, it'll be fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, you didn't tell me there were milking machines. He won't be milk. Hey, get your damn hands off of me.

[Dave Anthony]

So the public is thrilled by the idea of a talking dog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of course they are.

[Dave Anthony]

He does a little bit of touring. But biologist and psychologist Oscar Fungust.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. P. Fungust.

[Dave Anthony]

F, P, F, U N, G U S, T. It's one of the worst names ever. He's not. He's not into it. In 1912, he is common off debunking that a horse had been educated. He debunked that the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The whole tapping kind of dealio. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

The horse's name was Clever Hans, of course. And his owner claimed Hans could spell, do math, recognize people from photos, differentiate between music and colors, and answer questions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

So Han, like you say, he would just tap his foot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Right. Hoof to say 1, 2, Etc. Or he could spell out letters 1 for A, 2 for B, et cetera.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But.

[Dave Anthony]

So Hans was said to have a great memory.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

At one point, Hans met count Donna, and 30 minutes later, the count was pointed to and asked his name. And Hans went to a blackboard filled with the letters and picked out D O, H, N, A.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He Ouija.

[Dave Anthony]

He Ouija'd.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. Right. I can't remember how they.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow. He would also pick people in the audience out after seeing their photo. So that's pretty amazing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

TV really blew up a lot of.

[Dave Anthony]

Grifts and he became internationally known.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

The New York Times wondered if he'd be able to speak quote. Hans has not got so far as that yet, but is well on toward it. And again, before the cold weather sets in, May be able to hold discourse with his beleaguering professors in some dialect that can. That both can understand.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, this is not just some garbage rag. This is the New York Times.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A name you could trust telling you, pretty soon the horse is gonna probably be holding TED talks and functions, you know, maybe a little more involved. I mean, we're very close to that.

[Dave Anthony]

I can't see how that would probably.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Be helpful in finding the weapons of mass destruction.

[Dave Anthony]

This is what I'm talking about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like, we're pretty sure in two to three months, Hans will be able to locate some of the weapons of mass destruction. Are we still looking?

[Dave Anthony]

It would be amazing if they sent a horse to do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why not just spend a little money? If I'm the US why not just spend a little money at this point and just, like, be like, we found uranium and nerve gas buried deep under one of Saddam's palaces. We finally just to, like, get people, like, just the kind of. They're just. They don't even bother. They're just. Yeah, they're too stupid. Leave them alone.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they could. They could have put that stuff in a hole.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They could do it now. Like, if they did it now, you'd.

[Dave Anthony]

Be like, oh, yeah, now they probably will. Way to go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And he'll in trouble. Totally be the one who's like, I was able to find him. I went over there and I bloodhounded the whole desert.

[Dave Anthony]

So then along came Professor Oscar Punks who studied Hans and concluded Hans was just reading people and responding. Like, after asking a question, the person will look down at his hoof.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So then he noticed subtle gestures, right?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. And you'd probably do it even if you weren't even thinking you were doing it. You know, you just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, because other people could do it. I thought there was, like, one trainer who was kind of.

[Dave Anthony]

Other people could do it too. But then, you know. But it would be instinctual.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He might have been doing it.

[Dave Anthony]

It'd be instinctual for you to look down after you asked a question, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not for me. I'm hard. Eye contact.

[Dave Anthony]

I can't believe you sold your cat. So, Professor, I didn't know he's getting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Milked by these weirdos. I was told he was going to a happy place. I was told there was a lovely couple who was retired, and now they're milking him.

[Dave Anthony]

And the thing is, they're getting gallons.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's this. I will. I will avenge. I will avenge my boy.

[Dave Anthony]

So professor set his sights on Don, the talking dog. Don came to his estate and. And he recorded Don's speech on a phonograph. And he concluded that Don just responded.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Someone putting on a. This is an awesome time in. In the world when you could go to someone's house and they put on a dog speaking German. The record. Yeah, he just. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I just set my dogs off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. What are you doing?

[Dave Anthony]

They just been running outside. And so he concluded Don just respond to questions with noises the way any dog would, but with the power of suggestions. Listeners heard what they were expecting to hear.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it's like the Paul is dead. You hear once you hear what you're supposed to hear. Oh, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah, I can hear that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

But people are still thrilled by dawn.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Now, American vaudeville is huge from 1880 to 1930. And most shows include an animal or.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Two who were definitely treated really well and never, never milked.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right. Rats in jockey outfits would ride cats on racetracks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I kind of want to see that. Have a minute.

[Dave Anthony]

I kind of want to see it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want to see it as long as afterwards I'm like, ah, they're happy.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, just now, imagine if you could teach the rats to say yahoo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look outside of the jockeying, if you can get a few rats. That a yahooing rat completely changes the way we perceive rats.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I mean, we haven't had rats. Haven't had a hit since pizza rat.

[Dave Anthony]

Elephants would waltz or dance the hula. There were boxing kangaroos juggling sea lions, Monkeys riding bicycles or smoking cigarettes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I see a monkey. Smok. They love it. Pains me to see.

[Dave Anthony]

They love it. They love.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Really pains me to think that a monkey is just like.

[Dave Anthony]

And they like Marlboros.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm trying to quit.

[Dave Anthony]

Vaudeville was entertainment for all ages. And not as prestigious and legitimate as. As. As legitimate theater. But it's a step up from burlesque. So it's like in between burlesque, you know, scantily clad ladies dance around.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my. I know burlesque. Let those gams, lady. Don't mind if I do. How about a sniff of the bottom hose?

[Dave Anthony]

No, do not say sniff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ. You just took it to hard work, my ma'am.

[Dave Anthony]

You took it to a terrible place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? Come on. Can't. I got.

[Dave Anthony]

Nobody's sniffing the burlesque dancers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not sniffing the dancer. I just want to have a little sniff of the Bottom stocking. Give me a break, my guy. Pardon me while I blew velvet over here a little bit. Jesus. By the way, call me Vel it, because I'd love a blue. Oh, these women. I like the one with the flappers. Chapeau. Am I right, guy? I'll tell you what. If they put a little area for me to cone off and do my business, I think I might. Hey, want to be Jack Bros?

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ah, come on.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's go hang out.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're telling me you're not all horned up?

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not looking for a size larger in the pants. Why don't we go to the tailor and see if they can widen the crutch? That seems to be the easiest port of call. Boy, I love to watch. I really do. I'm going to buy that one some champagne.

[Dave Anthony]

You sound like a guy who milks his cat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, come on. I'll milk something. As long as they don't toss me out of here. I'll make some. I make trouser milk. If you keep walking away from me, there will be violence.

[Dave Anthony]

Vaudeville attracted people from all classes, from middle class to newly arrived immigrants. Anyone could afford a show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

So vaudeville very successful in large and small cities. There was a circuit. Performers would hit, going from city to city, from east coast to west coast, circling back. Yeah, it's stand up. Some axle also went to Europe, Australia and South Africa. In New York City at the time, there was a large German immigrant population.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here we go.

[Dave Anthony]

And Oscar Hammerstein built the theater Republic on West 42nd street in New York City. In 1901, he leased the theater to David Belasco. But on top, he still had the roof garden that featured vaudeville axe and a replica of a Dutch farm. Okay, where is this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is.

[Dave Anthony]

This is on 42nd street in New York City. So I found this at the Hammerstein.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is still there, correct?

[Dave Anthony]

I think it is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I believe it is a famous theater.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I think that this theater's been torn down, but I think there's still a Hammerstein. So I might be wrong, but. So I found out doing this, that. So this ac. So they would do tons of rooftop theater shows.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, interesting.

[Dave Anthony]

So, yeah, because in the summer it's so hot that they would do it outside.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's crazy that New York's weather in the summer has always sucked. Yeah, awful.

[Dave Anthony]

So. And then they had a Dutch farm. Also on the roof.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Replica Dutch.

[Dave Anthony]

Of a Dutch farm.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of a Dutch farm. What?

[Dave Anthony]

A Dutch farm.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is it?

[Dave Anthony]

There was a windmill, a pond with a bridge. And two boats, stone houses, a vegetable garden, a donkey, a turkey, a rooster, four hens, a nearsighted monkey, three peanut monkey, several sheep, one duck, and four ducklings. You asked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can I just say, I don't know what my favorite part of this show is, but lists, Lists are always great. Even in my few that I've done. When you hit a good list, just like you're like, prisoners were provided. Ink, ham, toilet paper, shredded cheese. Yeah, always good.

[Dave Anthony]

We got another list coming up pretty soon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

The biggest attraction was a Holstein cow and a scantily clad Swiss milk maid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Look at her, huh? Hey, you like her, guy? Yeah, you like what you see?

[Dave Anthony]

She was in, quote, short skirts and pink.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what I mean, fella? Hey, don't mind me while I put on the cow outfit and go over there and see if she'll do that. Hey, don't mind my one utter. It still works. Am I right, fella? You're not a cop, are you?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you a cop?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm a cop, too. Yeah, I am. We're both cops.

[Dave Anthony]

You're under arrest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I'm undercover. I'm working as a pervert on this dutch roof.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, well, you're doing a really good job.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, well, I'm pretty good. I'm Donnie Brascoe right now. So let me go over there and.

[Dave Anthony]

What's the point of actually being a pervert, huh? What's the point of actually being undercover? Pervert?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I could tell that you're. I could tell that you're. Oh, first of all, it's called perfect investigator. And I could tell that you're right. I could tell that because. Can I answer the question, my man?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because a lot of fake cops are around this area, and I'm trying to make them try to arrest me, But I could tell you're legit. But if I find a fake cop trying to arrest me as being a pervert, you think I want to go over there in a cow outfit with the crotch cut out and say that I'm a one uttered street cow?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't think so, my guy.

[Dave Anthony]

I think you very much want to do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have no interest in that. That is. That is not what I'm doing. See? My. What my utter. I don't think so. I'll show it to you, but I.

[Dave Anthony]

Don'T want to see your badge.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't have it. I don't have. I'm undercover. What are you talking about? Let's Say they come over here and search me for a badge and find it, my cover's blown.

[Dave Anthony]

What precinct do you work out of?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The 941.

[Dave Anthony]

And who's your sergeant?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sergeant Dick Clapper.

[Dave Anthony]

No, essentially not who that is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sergeant Richie Buchanan is the other one. The CO sergeant. They're CO sergeant. They're undercover. Oh, my God. Do you even. What's your precinct?

[Dave Anthony]

This Private.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's your. What's your precinct, Private?

[Dave Anthony]

I'm at the 5th.

[Gareth Reynolds]

5Th. 5th what?

[Dave Anthony]

5Th precinct.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's no precinct called the 5th.

[Dave Anthony]

It's right down the street.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a. That's a steak and shake.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, so I'm just gonna beat the out of you because you're a pervert.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, Let me. Hey, hey. I'm in too deep. That's my problem, okay? I chose to believe.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm gonna throw you off the rooftop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can I do the cow outfit thing before you do that?

[Dave Anthony]

No. Well, you can do it on the way down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't think that's the right idea.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm gonna throw you by your utter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just be nice to have someone grab it every once in a while.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

Chewy. Chewy is the best.

[Dave Anthony]

Whatever you name it, they got it. It gets shipped directly to you in one to two days, fast. And they got. It's not just dogs and cats. They got birds and fish and pets. They got it all. They got the whole. And we're both animal guys. We both have. I have 17 dogs. Gareth has a cat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

One of the things that's so annoying is when you go to a pet store to look for a specific and you're just like, it's not here. Chewy has it all. Also the best help center of all time.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah. Like really? Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

Strangely hard.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, Very, very convenient. It's so much easier than going to the pet store.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Big fans.

[Dave Anthony]

Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and. And healthy. And right now, you can save 20 off your first order and get free shipping by going to Chewy Dot com or click the link in the description. That's go to chewy.com or click the in the description to save $20 off your first order with free shipping. Minimum purchase required. New customers only. Terms and conditions apply. See site for complete details. Yeah, Gareth, we are also brought to you by PX Golf Clubs. Look, the time has come. Time for new golf clubs. And that means one thing, Gareth. Head over to the local PXG store for a fitting. And they make the best golf clubs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave, I'll tell you, I went through a fitting with my man Br and hit some of these clubs and they are unbelievable.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, you said that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I walked away with a putter. If you're a golf fan, they're doing some wild stuff. Like if you do one of these sessions, the way they figure out like, what is right for you is it's like you're a pro athlete, which a lot of people think I am. Go ahead. You were going to say something.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So that's exciting. You'll be playing with those soon. And it's the, it's. The fastest way to improve your performance on the golf course is with the PXG fitting. Their fitters are highly trained, they're very experienced, they have a really deep understanding of how, how clubs will optimize your game, get the most out of your swing. So, look, schedule your fitting today and for a limited time, you could save up to 20% on your entire order. Head over to pxg.com dollop that's pxg.com dollop to save up to 20 percent on your entire order. Pxg.com dolloprestrictions apply. See site for detail Guys, we're also brought to you by Rocket Money. Hello, Dave. So we both use Rocket Money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Love Rocket Money.

[Dave Anthony]

Rocket Money is going to save you tons of money. It finds subscriptions that you, you forgot about, you paid twice for, you didn't realize you had there and it'll cancel them for you. Rocket Money will be like, do you want this? And you'll say no. And you press a button and bam, it's gone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was paying for sort of like shipping thing that I subscribe. Like I was one of those things. I was like, I'll get rid of this.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then I was like, ah, it's like this. I ran Rocket Money. I was like, ah, of course they got me. But it just tells you these things you forget about.

[Dave Anthony]

Even when we have been using Rocket Money for a couple years, we still forget and things pop up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They absolutely.

[Dave Anthony]

And they alert you to if there's an increase in your subscription price, which hello, streamers, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or generally they like, it's like they're an adult. They're like you're paying a lot. You want to pay all this money per month.

[Dave Anthony]

So yeah, so I'm constantly signing up for streaming services for one show and then a month later I realized that, yeah, I'm still paying for it and, and that's a nightmare. And so Rocket Money just changes the game with all that stuff and, and they'll find your unwanted subscriptions and then even up you cancel them. So you never have to worry about anything slipping through the cracks. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to 740 a year when using all the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com dollop today that's RocketMoney.com RocketMoney.com dollop Gareth, we are also brought to you by Nutrafol.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, David.

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

I was talking to someone else who loves it just the other day. Yeah, I think more and more people and I think we're the reason more and more people are coming around.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, my hairdresser noticed it. My friends have noticed it. I had a friend ask if I gotten hair plugs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So a lot of your enemies have.

[Dave Anthony]

Noticed a lot of my enemies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A lot of your enemies feel you have more power.

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

You don't want to compromise your sexual performance. Dave.

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

Boom, baby.

[Dave Anthony]

So the. The biggest attraction is the cow and the. And the milkmaid. She offered fresh milk and tiny glasses to visitors. There's also a theater on the roof that seated 1,000.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

This is a big building, by the way. Me, I think it took up like a block. And there were. There was also the much smaller stage that Hammerstein and his son William used to hold Wednesday and Sunday matinees. And that's where the vaudeville shows happen. That acts like Augusta Rohoff's flea circus from Germany. They had jugglers, musicians, freak shows, all kinds of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

They had animal shows, very popular animal shows.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

Those included Rookabona's horses, Gillette's trained monkey and dogs. Rosina Caselli's midget dogs, a boxing kangaroo, Delita Delfora's six performing cows, Gulman's cat and dog, Circus Uno, the mind reading dog, and Robert's trained cats and rats. And also a couple years previous, Dan the drunken dog was a son of cessation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh my God, no.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh. Did you ask me what the Dan the drunken dog show was?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I hope.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, let me tell you, this is from the Sydney Herald because it of course went on tour.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure, of course. And right in Australia. They were like, I wish every dog was like this. This is what a dog is like.

[Dave Anthony]

Quote the four footed layers go through their parts as painstakingly and as cheerfully as they do their biped confreres.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And they seem to still have no idea what's happening.

[Dave Anthony]

So they're saying the animals have parts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And they seem to have more fun than the peoples.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gotcha.

[Dave Anthony]

And they seem to take real delight in their work. The stage is set with special scenery showing the main street of Dogville with business houses and residents. It's a dog town. So far it's great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So far. I'm nervous.

[Dave Anthony]

All of the incidents of town life are seen from the loftier, who hangs about the saloon door and follows each patron into the bar in hopes of a free drink to the monkey street cleaner and a simian policeman. So in this town, a monkey street.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cleaner and a simian policeman. SPD Drop it.

[Dave Anthony]

The climax comes when Dan staggers from the saloon with a rolling gate and discovers that navigation is somewhat difficult. And he goes back for another drink from which to steady himself. And it has the reverse effect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is he.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think he drunk.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know what's worse, but I.

[Dave Anthony]

Think he might be drunk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How are they bringing him back into the. What? Like, is someone walking them? Surely.

[Dave Anthony]

No, no, no. They're all trained on their own stone to do their trained.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This dog is trained to have a drunk walk.

[Dave Anthony]

He could be drunk and then go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But then he goes back into the.

[Dave Anthony]

Bar to steady himself and he wants another pop. And he gets another pop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, buddy, over here. Now steady yourself. All right, come here, Dan. Back in. One more pop. There you go, buddy. Good boy. Give him a little bone. He's got the little clicker. There you go, buddy.

[Dave Anthony]

So. Yeah, but look, the biggest draw. The biggest draw is still the cow and the Swiss milking lady.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

When he had an ad placed for the milkmaid in the paper, it read, quote, no homely applicants need apply.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, man.

[Dave Anthony]

So get the uglies out of here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What an era where you can literally just be like, yeah, no fatties.

[Dave Anthony]

She got $40 a month and room and board.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, you know what I mean?

[Dave Anthony]

She also got to keep some of the milk and trust.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, by the way, there's a perk. That stops being a perk 10 days in.

[Dave Anthony]

And she didn't have to attend to the ducks, goats and other animals, so she didn't have to take care of any. She might have had to take care of the. The cow, though.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the.

[Dave Anthony]

That might have been part of the deal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would actually enjoy that part of it.

[Dave Anthony]

I know. Oscar's son, William Hammerstein, had read about Don the dog and decided he wanted him for a garden show. A newspaper said he thought Don quote was a real necessity as an attraction for his summer program.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're probably only going for the German demo with a German speaking dog because nobody's going to be like, oh, wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, he's going to speak German. There's. Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You can't. You're not. If you have a German speaking dog, you're not going to try to make the dog bilingual.

[Dave Anthony]

No, but there is A way around that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There is a way around that. Interesting. That's interesting. It's a very interesting thing you've said there, sir.

[Dave Anthony]

A deal was made with Herman Ebers for Don the dog. Lloyds of London refused to ensure Don's passage and life. So the Hammerstein's posted a $50,000 bond for Don 1.25 million today. It would be paid if the dog died on the trip.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Because it's a sea trip. It's not an easy trip for a person, let alone a dog. And dogs are tend to not be seafaring. Faring. Sure. Yep. So Herman turned Don over to Martha, who would be in charge of him on his vaudeville tour. Tour.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, so she's.

[Dave Anthony]

So the daughter's going, okay, I like that. And Martha had just married her Carl Hoppenland. So they decide to combine their honeymoon and Don the dog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely.

[Dave Anthony]

Tour what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. There's nothing strange about no turning your shiny food.

[Dave Anthony]

Plus, I'm making.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it's a free honeymoon.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm making the dog watch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, you're not.

[Dave Anthony]

No, sir, I'm the dog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, you're not.

[Dave Anthony]

100.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He just keeps barking. Kitchen.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, one of the worst things ever. I was once having sex and looked over the edge of the bed and the cat was looking right in my eyes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, dude, I didn't need that. The. I had. I was trying to joke about, but it's like when you shut the door to have sex with dogs. And the other like what the dogs do post coital is. Is truly where you're like, you are.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, how would you bring that up?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Me?

[Dave Anthony]

You didn't have to bring that up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You brought it up.

[Dave Anthony]

No, I didn't bring up bloodhounds.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You just sniffed a convict's clothing. They're just rummaging around sheets and you're like. It's. If it's not bad enough, you turn your. You turn your head for one quick. A quick second and look back and one of the dogs is like licking the area.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, come on, dude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? Because it's relatable.

[Dave Anthony]

You're a squirter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a show about relatability. And I am a squirter. Get over it.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, let's get back to this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because I'm upset.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, so William Hammerstein hyped Don's coming visit by announcing the $50,000 bond quote. This makes Don the most valuable dog in the world. So one of the reasons he paid so much for the bond was just. Just to be Able to use it as pr. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, right, right.

[Dave Anthony]

The Times reported, quote, Don will sail on the conference Wilhelm next Wednesday. A special cabin has been engaged in order to ensure his safety. They traveled first class on the German steamship SS Prince Frederick Wilhelm because they did not think Don would be safe in the ordinary dog storage.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cool. For the other dogs.

[Dave Anthony]

Still still applies today.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cool, huh?

[Dave Anthony]

When the ship docked in New York, he was greeted by like, he's a visiting celebrity.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Always just the dog again. Very excited. Did you hear? Did you hear? Well, oh, my God, I can't wait to meet that dog.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, you're there on the dock because the talking dog is coming.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're going to need more police officers. These people are fainting pretty quick now.

[Dave Anthony]

Reporters were there to get some quotes from Don. Sadly, the New York Evening World reported he was, quote, too seasick on the way over to converse with anybody as yet. Therefore, his opinion of the New York skyline and other local sites is unknown.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How. Walk me through how we're always able to be the Dundee. How is it like the Germans are believing they have a talking dog and we're like, don't worry, we'll out stupid you. Unfortunately, the dog wasn't feeling too good, so we couldn't comment on the beautiful New York skyline. When reached for comment, it was a dog. There we go. Interesting.

[Dave Anthony]

Soon, Don made his debut at Hammerstein's Paradise Roof Garden. Loney Haskell was mast of ceremonies for the Doncho. So Loney Haskell is baloney.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

No, Loney. Loney Haskell is. He's a well known. Come on. He's like an MC a lot. He does a lot of these shows.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

With animals. And he's like the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he's like the animal mc.

[Dave Anthony]

That's like Todd Glass, I think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, okay.

[Dave Anthony]

He would also serve as interpreter because of course, Don spoke German. So there you go. That's what we were talking about. You wondered what would happen. You get an interpreter for someone who speaks Garrett. Let me tell you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me tell you.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me tell you. You don't need a German dog.

[Dave Anthony]

You. You. Well, that's the only dog that talks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, any dog. And you'd be like, oh, you could. You doesn't talk. He wants coconuts.

[Dave Anthony]

This is a German talking dog. You can't just get a dog anywhere that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can't believe I paid $20 to watch a dog talk. And there's a guy telling me what it's saying.

[Dave Anthony]

Don was very nervous.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

So much so that he would not go on stage until all the windows of the rooftop theater were closed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What a diva.

[Dave Anthony]

He's a pretty. Yeah, he's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What a diva.

[Dave Anthony]

Not all reviews were great. Variety wrote, quote, the trained growls which emanate from his throat can readily be mistaken for words.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sort of full of shit. No, Friday is pointing out classic.

[Dave Anthony]

Anyone with bullshit didn't matter. Audiences are fucking thrilled. They love the show, so they're hearing what they want to hear. They hear the dog's clear words. Haskell told the audience Don had been touring Europe for two years. And he also said Don was suffering from the New York heat, so his performance might not be great. And also that Don had a meager vocabulary due to a brief education. It's a dog who has not gone to the proper schooling.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I don't think anyone is just like, how far did he go? What college does Don want to go to?

[Dave Anthony]

I think a lot of us are asking those questions. Those are valid questions at this point. It's a talking dog. Well, he pointed out that speaking a totally unfamiliar tongue was a great strain upon its system, and it required an hour's rest before every appearance.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's a dog. He requires an hour's rest before an hour's rest.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, he's tired. I mean, it's all very tiring to do this. The audience. The audience then shouted for the dog, and Martha let him out. And as reported in the Springfield Daily Republican, quote, why hasta do woof. Replied the dog. People who thought it sounded like. Like a word, applauded, quote, was hast do hunger, announced the dog. Hunger. The audience applauded wildly. A reporter concluded Don meant we should just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is like. What this should be is just like a roof with a trap door. And everyone who claps gets moved to a certain zone and we just drop them into the ocean.

[Dave Anthony]

So people who believe and have hope are the ones that you want.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. Get rid of them. We'd probably be in a better zone today.

[Dave Anthony]

The reporter concluded Don meant what he was saying due to all the cookies he ate. After the New York heritage.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is a shocking statement. A dog is going to eat biscuit like, well, he must have been hungry. He ate a bunch of biscuits. So this is an airtight chatting dog.

[Dave Anthony]

I need you to try to believe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I am. I've tried.

[Dave Anthony]

The New York Hell reported Don said cake rest to have. And the name of his director, Ms. Hobberland. That's not her name, by the way. The headliner at the theater that summer was Harry Houdini. So he was. He was build with Houdini. So that's a pretty top.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a while, by the way. Now that I know he's an opener, I'm a lot more into it. But also, if you're not an opener.

[Dave Anthony]

They'Re in the same. Houdini's downstairs and he's upstairs. They're just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

One reporter was probably just like, more like, who, Deanie? This dog is chatting and he's putting more butts in seats than Harry.

[Dave Anthony]

Don did many shows in New York for eight weeks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure. Moving way more tickets than I or us.

[Dave Anthony]

He performed at different venues around New York. Even though rooftop theaters were popular during the summer. Don preferred indoor theaters because he hated the sound of traffic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he said, I won't do it. So you do crowd work.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, he probably doesn't want to have to compete vocally with all the noises.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely.

[Dave Anthony]

You know, it's probably hard on him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely.

[Dave Anthony]

If you're a performer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. But he's probably at this point, he's probably backstage doing some dog warm ups. You know.

[Dave Anthony]

He was so popular, it was decided to tour the rest of America. And Hammerstein paid for an exclusive contract.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Meanwhile, the dog was a dog.

[Dave Anthony]

So after eight weeks, Martha and Haskell hit the road with Dawn. He started performing in Boston, and then he went San Francisco and Boise. Tons of cities.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So this dog.

[Dave Anthony]

The Idaho statements reported he was speaking seven words in November.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

So he's picking it up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Picking up. But he's speaking German stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, well, he's. He's a German dog, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. I mean, one would think that. Well, one would think that. I mean, he. He's basically repeating. So one would think you could teach him like potatoes or something.

[Dave Anthony]

He's German.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gotcha.

[Dave Anthony]

Some performers refused to share the bill with dawn, believing it was undignified.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You. Honestly, they were probably like. They would be backstage like, guys, dog's killing. Can't do that.

[Dave Anthony]

That I gotta follow the dog crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or there's like the headliners late, so someone's in the back going to done like stretch.

[Dave Anthony]

Others would not share the stage because they did not like the horrible methods used to train animals. Now that's just in general. Some people refuse to go on the same stage as animals.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'd be there.

[Dave Anthony]

That's how French actress Sandra Bernhardt felt. And very popular singer Elsie Janice. Janice wrote, quote, any man who earns his money by the hard, cruel work of dumb beasts should not be known.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There we go. There we go.

[Dave Anthony]

For her part, Martha is adamant that Don only did what he wanted. And aside from Treats was not being coerced.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are the other. What are other dog coercion?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, you're like, do you want a bed? Nice bed?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, they're probably like, look, if they're not scaring him with like electricity or reeds or whatever. Okay, that's better. But the dog is not. This is not what the dog wants to do.

[Dave Anthony]

You don't know that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, I do.

[Dave Anthony]

It could be. He could be instinctually a show dog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Don really seemed to have pretty easy. The act was just answering the same questions every show and each got him a reward of chocolate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That, by the way, that's supposed to do that.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Haskell became very attached to dust. So Loni, Haskell really starts to like Don. Like, he's like, this is my dog. And according to a celebrity columnist, O. O. McIntyre quote, in one night stands, he slept in the dog's kennel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In one night stands. Excuse me.

[Dave Anthony]

So when they went in and did a show in a town for a night, he would sleep in the kennel with the dog. I feel like maybe lonely. It's different trying to avoid pay for a hotel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's different now. This just got different. Yeah, this just got different.

[Dave Anthony]

Because it sounds like you and Jose a little bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. Well, first of all, do you sleep with Jose every night and he takes the side closer to the outside of the bed and it's getting pretty frustrating, to be quite honest with you, because I have to hold on because I have to kind of scoot around him to go to the bathroom in the night and he stays there. He takes up half the bed, maybe more. Anyway, what's up?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, again, this is another thing you should bring up with your couple's therapy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's not, he's, he's not going to the farm that they'll know.

[Dave Anthony]

The milk farm. You already signed that contract.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

You already signed that car.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know. I. I've spent the money they gave me to have him on that suit the guy wears at the end of Avatar. And I'm going to go to that farm and demand him back and they will give him to me and I will take him in the Avatar suit and he will be in there and he will receive daddy's kisses in the Avatar suit.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, he's already milk. Pretty milked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I will have him refilled.

[Dave Anthony]

Some people didn't think Dom was talking and that Haskell was just making it up as the interpreter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why?

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, what people? You know what, how about you believe. How about people believe in something? Have A little amazing imagination.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good Lord, put a tooth under your pillow every once in a while, would you? There's magic coming for you.

[Dave Anthony]

In April 19, 1913, the Spokane Press reported Don the Talking Dog was now the highest paid vaudeville performer. He was making 500 a week gutting. But when at Hammerstein's, he was pulling in $1,000 a week, $125 per word.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Could have done with that. He's like, larry the Cable Guy the dog.

[Dave Anthony]

I've told you that I knew Larry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Cable Guy before he was there.

[Dave Anthony]

Before Crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Before the chase.

[Dave Anthony]

You open mics together and all of a sudden he goes up in a cable guy outfit. I'm like, what in the are you doing, Dave?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's so funny to just imagine, like, he's probably walking in that first night, like, nervous as shit, no sleeves on. Everyone's like, nutty. You're gonna look back on five years and regret this a lot. What are you doing?

[Dave Anthony]

His. His ability to talk was being taken seriously in some academic circles. One reason was because when he was a young man, Alexander Graham Bell had spent hours trying to teach his dog Truve to speak. Bell tried to manipulate Truv's mouth and chin to get him talking. And Bell said he did teach him to say maman. And then eventually, how are you, grandmama?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, what the fuck? This is Alexander Graham Bell.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank God the telephone came around. Otherwise everyone would have been like, what, dude? How are you, Grandmama?

[Dave Anthony]

I'm here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would. I mean, look, I love dogs. If a dog came up to me and said, how are you, Grandma, Mom? I would punch it or stab it. Yeah, you'd have to, how are you, Grandmama?

[Dave Anthony]

Unfortunately true. Was pretty dumb and never learned to speak on his own. Just when prompted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just one of those things.

[Dave Anthony]

And so. But that's science. And so people are like, yeah, there's talking. Bell did it. So on April 1913, on a visit to San Francisco, Don Haskell and Martha went to see JC Merriman Miriam, a respected paleontologist at the University of California at Berkeley. And in front of the professor and colleagues, the Oakland Tribune said, Don asked for cake, spoke his name, and Martha's. Professor Merrim was. Miriam was convinced Don was extraordinary. He was now speaking eight words, and he had added ruble and dollar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you're saying dollar now.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's very funny that. One of the words Don has learned in Capital America. Capitalist america.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right, $. His origin story had now expanded a bit. Quote Haberlan now Haberland told how after Don learned to say kitchen, he would run around to neighbors houses and ask for cake. Cake. She. Sorry, Kuchin. Sorry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, that was auto correct.

[Dave Anthony]

Cake word. He would run around to neighbors houses and ask for cake. She said that led to people always asking him if he was hungry, from which he learned to say hungry. Professor Miriam was astonished. So she made up a lie that she's just my dog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sounds good, Kuchin. I hear him saying kuchi.

[Dave Anthony]

So she's now come up with lies about how he learned. Like he went around asking for cakes at people's houses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like Miriam has come up with this lie.

[Dave Anthony]

No, no, this is Haberland. Martha. Martha's coming up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Martha. Right, Martha. I mean, sorry. Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So the, the, the lore of, of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. She's building it up. But is he saying kitchen? I mean, Is he saying $?

[Dave Anthony]

Is he saying no, that's cake. He's saying Kuchen or whatever it is for cake. But is he. I just had an autocorrect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, no, I understand. But is he saying $and stuff like that?

[Dave Anthony]

You think $?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he is. So there's something going on, right?

[Dave Anthony]

I think he's, he's able to mimic a little bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that's still pretty. I mean, I, I know that people.

[Dave Anthony]

Are like, you've seen it on, if you go on Instagram, you'll see dogs, I love you. You can get him to mimic stuff. Some dogs. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop making me do this.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So weird. Professor Miriam was astonished and said as far as he knew, this was the first dog who ever talked. He deduced the Don's vocal cords must somehow be similar to a man's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Quote, this guy just with his fucking pipe and his elbow patches. My first guess is that he's probably got the vocal cords of a man.

[Dave Anthony]

I have no doubt that if Don had been taken at an early age by scientists who would have devoted their entire time to the dog's education, he would be able to speak many words and perhaps carry on simple conversations.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Remove the professor title asap.

[Dave Anthony]

Don now became a pioneering celebrity endorser, at least for animals. He endorsed Milk Bone dog biscuits.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Milk Bone. That's the only one I'll eat.

[Dave Anthony]

The newspaper ads called him, quote, the most valuable money making dog in the world and said he is only fed on maltoid. Milk Bone. The best food for your dogs too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So.

[Dave Anthony]

So Don. Don returns to the stage at Hammerstein's in 1913. And later that summer he went to do shows at the Hotel Shelburne. In Brighton Beach, Brooklyn.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure. Big.

[Dave Anthony]

One day, a waiter at the hotel was swimming as Don was frolicking in the waves.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Oh, no.

[Dave Anthony]

But Don noticed the waiter is flailing about in the ocean.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. Stop.

[Dave Anthony]

And according to the Sun, Don yelled a new word. Help.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the.

[Dave Anthony]

Help. Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He is the Beatles.

[Dave Anthony]

Which startled people on the beach.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh.

[Dave Anthony]

Don then swam over to the drowning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is it just me, or is that dog in the ocean shouting help? Or is this LSD finally kicking in?

[Dave Anthony]

Don then swam over to the drowning waiter. I like that. Nobody else.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, Everyone else was like, huh?

[Dave Anthony]

And began pulling on his bathing suit. But the waiter was so panicked that he threw his arms around Don, and now both of them were drowning. Running. No, this is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Idiot.

[Dave Anthony]

A cop is passing by on a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Horse, and the horse is like, hey, officer, over there. It looks like one of those guys might be in trouble along with that chatty dog.

[Dave Anthony]

The New York said, son, said the cop, quote, understands German when spoken by a dog. So he jumped. What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just keep going or I'm gonna blow everything up.

[Dave Anthony]

The. The. The cop understood German dog. Well, there's a lot of German immigrants in New York. So he understands German.

[Gareth Reynolds]

German.

[Dave Anthony]

He's probably got German parents or is from Germany.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that German I hear?

[Dave Anthony]

So he jumped off the horse. He jumped the horse off. He jumped the horse off an embankment into the water and tried to rescue both Don and the waiter. Quote, just as he caught a hold of the waiter's hand, a huge roller knocked him from his horse. This is. This is intense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is nuts. So now we got three people.

[Dave Anthony]

Probably three people are not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And maybe a horse in danger.

[Dave Anthony]

Then three lifeguards came in a boat and saved the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the. By the way, hey, lifeguards, it ain't boat time. What about your training? Get in there, Don.

[Dave Anthony]

The cop and the horse then swam ashore. Quote, Don then frisked about just as if nothing had happened. Because he's that humble.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, he's a.

[Dave Anthony]

He's. That. He's just like, I'm gonna go sniff some butts and whatever. Now he's humble.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cake? Anyone want some cake?

[Dave Anthony]

He doesn't need the accolades. He just like, I'm gonna do dog stuff now. Sure, we've got a Frisbee.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? Three lifeguards in a boat.

[Dave Anthony]

The New York Tribune headline was, quote, talking dog. No braggart.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

With that one, Don is a hero of surf rescue, but doesn't say a word.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We asked Don how he felt about the whole thing. No comment was basically the statement.

[Dave Anthony]

And. And Then coincidentally, this is a very good PR for the show, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So Don performed about two years in the US and then he retired and returned to Germany.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He retired.

[Dave Anthony]

Haskell calculated their stage performances paid Dodd 92 a word. The equivalent about 2300 a word today. This meant his eight. His full eight word performances would have returned the modern equivalent of 1818, 400. So he's just rolling in good money bonds for life. That's like. Yeah. Don died at home near Dresden in late 1915. He would have been about 12. His last words, if any were not recorded, even though the evening news reported they were, quote, say goodbye to my old pal Loni Haskell.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh? What are you saying?

[Dave Anthony]

I'm saying there is that they actually didn't. They were not actually last words. But the evening news. No, the evening news reported that there were. That he said, quote, say goodbye to my old pal Loni Haskell with the evening news. Those last.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it's like newsmax level.

[Dave Anthony]

No, that's. You don't either one could be true.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no.

[Dave Anthony]

He could have said that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. By the way, it would be great if he was just like. Actually, all of a sudden I'm overcome with a complete feeling of no stress. I'm seeing the light, the proverbial light that they always speak of. And up there I see friends of past and friends of future or something like that. I'm covered in a deep, deep sense of calm. Like that time you bathed me with all the liquid soap for the dish. Suddenly I feel so free, so good. My achy legs are no longer achy. Why, I'm able to run and frolic. Excuse me, good friends, I believe this chapter down here is dawn.

[Dave Anthony]

There would be other talking dogs, including Rawls, a German born terrier who supposedly communicated by a sort of Morse code of his own invention. And all also solved additional subtraction problems.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Own invention?

[Dave Anthony]

That's right. That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a lot of. There's a lot of lifting going on there.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not. That's sounds very scientific. And Queen, positively the only dog in the world that speaks the English language. In 1918, singing dogs had their day too. They were also singing dogs. The phenomena was gradually die out as vaudeville yielded the stage to other forms of entertainment, mostly motion pictures. Author Trey Esty, who pays attention to such matters, said he isn't aware of any talking dog acts around today. However, there are plenty of amateurs to be seen and heard on YouTube and Instagram and whatnot. But no dog, however vocally gifted, is likely to capture America's public imagination quite like Don A top dog. The Top Dog Don Sources the Republican, the Springfield Daily Republican, the Idaho Statesman, the Spokane Press, the Oakland Tribune, Poverty Bay Herald, the New York Tribune, the New York Times, weird historian.com boweryboyshistory.com Hatching Cat, New York City and Smithsonian Magazine Well, Dave Crazy all win. We all win.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm still a little dubious.

[Dave Anthony]

Win. We all win. We're all not all of us we are all winners.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not all of us. Every single one of us episode ended quite a while ago. Hey there doll heads. This is Gareth Reynolds. You know me. I'm from the Gare Force, part of the Dolla podcast. Love you doll heads. Listen, I'm going to be doing some stand up comedy. You can go to GarethReynolds.com for all tickets of information. Naples, Florida, March 24 Charlotte, April 13 Raleigh, April 14 Virginia Beach, Virginia April 15 Richmond, Virginia April 16 Magoobies in Lutherville, Baltimore, whatever the hell you want to call it. April 17, April 18, April 19. Then I'll be in Winnipeg, Canada, May 29. May 30, May 31. I'll be in Chattanooga, Tennessee on August 8. August 9 go to GarethReynolds.com I'll also be in the Comedy Fort in Fort Collins the following weekend. More dates being added. Coming at you. Garethreynolds.com you're part of the Gare Force, not the Garmy. Stop calling it that. It's getting weird. Another guy has that. It's Garforce. Please help me. Love you mean it. Gareth reynolds dot com.