The Dollop #703 - William Patrick Penn

Release date: September 30, 2025
Hosts: Dave Anthony (A), Gareth Reynolds (B)

Overview

This episode of The Dollop dives into the bizarre life and career of William Penn Patrick—failed salesman, self-help evangelist, far-right political candidate, and most infamously, a pioneering architect of multi-level marketing (MLM) and pyramid scheme excess in mid-twentieth-century America. Dave and Gareth unpack Patrick’s erratic path from humble beginnings, through dubious business ventures, right-wing radicalism, and legally dubious “leadership seminars” involving everything from pyramid cosmetics to literally caging and humiliating his followers. The tale is both cautionary and absurd, with the hosts riffing on everything from throat oil to pyramid schemes to nude fight clubs.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Early Life and Self-Mythologizing

• Humble Beginnings—Or Not?
  • William Penn Patrick was born in 1930 in rural North Carolina, claimed to have left home at 15 with only $5 and his clothes.
  • His father contradicted this story:

    “He was no poor boy. He left home because he wanted to.” (B, 04:35)

  • Patrick later described himself as a fearful adolescent who conquered his fears by “attacking shit” (B, 05:04).

2. Military Service and Dubious Credentials

• Enlisted in the Air Force, served in the Korean War—but as a veterinary technician, not a pilot.
  • Leads to comedy on being a “veteran veterinarian,” with Dave riffing:

    “I served in Korea. I was a vet. Veterinary. Veteran veterinarian.” (A, 06:29)

• The hosts find humor in the military’s odd animal uses, notably the failed pigeon-guided missile project.
  • “They put pigeons in missiles... the pigeons be like, all right, doing good.” (A, 07:54)

3. Failed Businesses and the Garage Sale Turning Point

• Multiple failed ventures: pots and pans, jewelry, wigs, gas stations—“He failed at everything he tried.” (B, 13:56)
• At 33, Patrick buys $16,000 worth of fruit-scented cosmetics at a San Rafael garage sale—Holiday Magic is born.
  • “Some women were selling an industrial amount of fruit-scented cosmetics.” (B, 15:18)
  • Dave is incredulous:

    “Strawberry frappe cleanser? That is so confusing.” (A, 16:46)

4. Launching Holiday Magic—The Pyramid Scheme Empire

• The MLM Model:
  • Holiday Magic operated with “Holiday Girls” who went door to door or threw makeup parties.
  • Entry as a “master distributor” cost $35,000 (today’s money).
  • General distributors and executives bought in at even higher costs—up to the million-dollar tier at the top, with Patrick as supreme overlord.

    “So it’s a pyramid scheme. It’s just $35,000 and then I just have to get 10 people to do the same thing under me. Do do do do do. That’s the magic.” (A, 19:33)

• Patrick started a cascade of other businesses using the same model—clothing, fuel additives (“diesel sprinkles”).
  • Dave observes:

    “Notice they put a pyramid on money. ’Cause the whole thing’s fuckin’ bullshit, dude.” (A, 24:39)

• Promise vs. Reality:
  • Holiday Magic ads promised immense wealth for part-time work; the scheme was built on selling the opportunity itself.

5. Politics, Paranoia, and Right-wing Extremism

• Runs for Governor (1966) against Reagan—From the Right:
  • Receives less than 2% of the vote, blames pollsters for “burying” him, and accuses them of corruption.

    “Very Trumpy. People saw that I was doing shitty, so I did shitty.” (A, 27:16)

• Ultra-Right Allies and Views:
  • Sues unions, pals around with figures in the paramilitary Minutemen and the John Birch Society.
  • Gareth on the far right’s conspiratorial mindset:

    “They just… right-wing people just sit around going ‘communist’ like they just…” (B, 32:14)

  • The Minutemen’s propaganda is mocked for its paranoia (e.g., “That fountain pen… might be a cyanide gas gun” (B, 33:09)).
• Association with Segregationists:
  • Ties with George Wallace, failed Patriot Party ambitions, entrenched in John Birch radicalism.

6. The Bizarre Self-Help Empire: Mind Dynamics and Leadership Dynamics

• Self-Empowerment & Pseudo-Scientific Jargon:
  • Mind Dynamics claimed to boost IQ, reading speed, healing, and even extrasensory perception by “turning on your alpha brain waves.” (B, 46:34)
• Mandatory, Extreme “Leadership” Training:
  • Holiday Magic employees were required to pay $10,000 for “Leadership Dynamics” seminars, featuring radical honesty and humiliation.
    • Nude encounter groups, physical violence, cage confinement, being peed on, eating vomit, being tied to crosses, or locked in coffins—cited by court testimony and sources.
    • “How else can you become a leader except we put in a cage and have another man pee on you.” (B, 52:12)
    • On the cross: “Patrick made sure to tell the court that no one was nailed to the cross, by the way. They were just tied there for hours and hours.” (B, 56:14)
    • “In one session, a man was forced to perform a blowjob on a dildo while women who were attending a separate class were brought in to watch.” (B, 57:06)
• Patrick’s defense: total denial, or strange justification.
  • “Well… there are a lot of men that come to class that have forgotten how to use theirs.” (B, 58:31)

7. The Collapse—Legal Troubles, Lawsuits, Tragedies

• Regulatory Action:
  • Holiday Magic judged an unfair and deceptive marketing scheme; refunds ordered (1973).
  • SEC finds $1.6 billion (today’s value) in fraud.

    “In order for all the investors to bring in six figures a year, every single person in America would need to be recruited.” (B, 64:01)

• Tragedy Through Aviation:
  • Patrick’s passion for planes resulted in further disaster—founding Spectrum Air (vintage plane rentals and repair).
  • Planes crash post-repair; one fatally into an ice cream parlor, killing 22 (mostly children). (B, 65:07)
  • Cost Patrick tens of millions in lawsuits.
• Desperate Counteroffensive:
  • As lawsuits mount, Patrick sues prosecutors, runs ads likening himself to a lynching victim, accuses prosecution of political motivation.

8. Inevitable Downfall—Death in a Crash

• On the brink of ruin, Patrick dies in a plane crash—hosts note poetic justice.
  • Gareth: “Normalize… We have to be allowed to cheer when they die.” (A, 71:02)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the absurdity of the pyramid scheme:

  • “So there’s one guy at the top and then a few, and then a dozen, and then a bunch and then a shitload and then the rest.” – Dave (A), 20:30

• On the extremity of the “leadership” seminars:

  • “How else can you become a leader except we put in a cage and have another man pee on you.” – Dave (A), 52:12
  • “At some point, they just start punching more, ‘cause they’re getting hard.” – Dave (A), 51:21

• On Patrick’s defense of caging/coffins:

  • “Well, let me say this. If they did [put a claustrophobic person in a coffin], they got over it.” – Patrick (quoted by B), 55:51

• Blunt summary of American pyramid schemes:

  • “Notice they put a pyramid on money. ‘Cause the whole thing's fucking bullshit, dude.” – Dave (A), 24:39

• On right-wing paranoia:

  • “See that old man at the corner? …He may have a silencer-equipped pistol under his coat.” – Minutemen sticker (B, 32:39)
  • “[They] just sit around going communist like they just…” – Gareth (B), 32:14

• On tragic justice:

  • “This is a guy who's fucking enjoying himself... On the... In the middle of the worst moment of his personal and professional life, Patrick's plane crashed into a field...killing him and his passengers.” – (B, 70:41)
  • “We have to be allowed to cheer when they die... It's such a billionaire kind of passed away today... No need to be rude to the man who died and made a guy eat his own piss puke.“ – Gareth (A), 71:02

• Patrick’s own words (just before his death, from his writing):

  • “There is absolutely nothing wrong with being wealthy. God, you have made me an eagle... I will soar above the mountains and clouds...” – Patrick (quoted by B), 72:15

Important Segment Timestamps

• Patrick’s exaggerated self-myth (rags-to-riches): 03:57–05:04
• Military “veterinarian” and pigeon missiles: 06:05–08:38
• Failed business after failed business: 12:27–14:06
• Birth of Holiday Magic & garage sale cosmetics: 15:18–16:33
• MLM/Pyramid scheme structure explained: 19:26–20:38
• Attack on “salaried mediocrity” (company magazine quote): 22:13–22:55
• Holiday Magic’s legal downfall: 63:11–64:01
• Description of “leadership” seminars and abuses: 49:30–58:28
• Fatal plane crash and poetic justice: 70:33–71:45
• Patrick’s final hubristic quote: 72:15
• Epilogue/Reflection: 73:46–75:08

Tone and Delivery

• Dave and Gareth turn the bleakness and absurdity of Patrick’s saga into fast-paced, surreal comedy. Their banter alternates between ridicule, incredulity, and darkly funny asides—puncturing the arrogance and cruelty at the root of American MLM culture and right-wing excess.
• Their style keeps the episode engaging and accessible, even when the historical subject matter gets grotesquely extreme.

Final Reflection

The saga of William Penn Patrick is the story of American hustle run amok: a man who sold the dream of boundless wealth and self-mastery, all the while preying on the vulnerable and leaving a path of destruction that stretched from cosmetics parties to tragic death. Patrick’s mix of self-delusion, toxic individualism, and penchant for excess—and the people willing to believe him—make for an episode as hilarious as it is horrifying.

Research by Josh Androwski. Sources include Mental Floss, New York Times, and multiple newspapers and magazines.