The Dollop Episode 704 – The Lady Franklin Bay Expedition

Podcast: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds
Release Date: October 7, 2025
Main Theme:
Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds explore the disastrous and harrowing tale of the Lady Franklin Bay Expedition—an 1880s American Arctic adventure doomed by hubris, poor planning, and the brutal forces of nature. As always, the show uses sharp banter, dark humor, and improvisational riffs while unpacking a slice of lesser-known American history.

Overview

The episode dives into the true story of Adolphus Greely and the Lady Franklin Bay Expedition, a U.S. polar expedition that began with high scientific hopes and ended in tragic deprivation, cannibalism, and survival against all odds. Through comic commentary, Dave and Gareth bring to life the personalities, bungled logistics, and bleak morale of this ill-fated mission. Themes of leadership, suffering, and human resilience (or lack thereof) emerge throughout, wrapped in a thick layer of Dollop absurdity.

Key Discussion Points & Timeline

1. Setting the Scene & Character Introduction (08:28–17:38)

• Adolphus Greely's background:
  • Born to an established New England family, tried to enlist in the Army by lying about his age (“he wrote 18 on the bottom of his shoes”—Dave, 10:16).
  • Fighting in the Civil War, rising through the ranks, becomes interested in meteorology and telegraphy.
  • Offers to lead an Arctic expedition at age 37: “He was considered anal retentive, but enthusiastic by his superiors” (16:00).
• The aim: To set up a polar research station north of Greenland for the International Polar Year, do science, and help the U.S. claim ‘furthest north’.

2. The Expedition's Terrible Preparation (17:39–24:45)

• The team’s lack of Arctic experience—“One guy who was not in the military did have experience of one time visiting Greenland” (17:42).
• Assembling a crew mostly of U.S. Signal Corps members with little relevant expertise.
• Over-spending on the ship Proteus: “Adolphus only had $6,000 left over to buy everything else needed for the first year of work and survival in the Arctic” (18:33).
• No backup ship; just dropped off and left alone to await resupply in a year.
• The initial period: Science, exploration, building “Fort Conger”, using dog sleds for exploration.

3. Failure of Resupply & Bureaucratic Negligence (25:05–46:58)

• First resupply:
  • Ship Neptune fails to reach the camp due to ice, leaves barely any rations, and heads home.
  • Officials back home completely misunderstand or disregard the seriousness (“There’s not the slightest reason to suppose that Lt. Greenlee’s party is suffering…”—Dave, reading Secretary of War’s letter, 27:45).
• Second year:
  • New resupply attempts and new leaders, but the Proteus is destroyed by pack ice; the other ship fares no better.
  • Miscommunication and indifferent bureaucracy back home; planned caches of food fail to materialize (of 50,000 rations sent, only 1,000 actually make it ashore—58:10).
  • The men are eventually forced by orders to abandon Fort Conger, despite most thinking it's a suicidal move.

4. March into Desperation: Suffering & Leadership Breakdown (46:58–63:47)

• Greely loses morale; natural leaders among the men, notably Brainerd and Rice, rise up.
• Tensions and attempted mutiny: “They start plotting…to declare Adolphus insane…” (50:40).
• The trek south is agonizing—boats dragged over iceflows, starvation, low morale, leadership failures mount.
• Arrival at Ellesmere Island; darkness sets in for eight months: “The sun has now almost disappeared for the winter. That’s eight months…” (51:29).
• Discovery that their rescue ship, the Proteus, is gone: Disbelief turns to bleak acceptance.

5. Winter Hell: Starvation, Cannibalism, and Last Resorts (63:47–80:47)

• Desperate survival: “The storehouse…was super easy to break into…people are stealing food.” (65:09).
• Food theft, secret rationing, the fat man Henry stealing constantly, eventual execution for food theft (“And they shoot him and they kill him”—75:56).
• Killing and eating dogs; short-lived bonanza with bear and foxes.
• Foraging for shrimp leads to diarrhea problems: “Each guy found himself eating a pound of shrimp a day…leads to digestive problems…” (67:12–67:34)
• Some men die on foraging missions (notably photographer George Rice); others quietly steal meat from the dead (“There’s a secret that some men are doing…they’re cutting pieces of meat off dead bodies and having a snack”—72:31).
• The infamous “spoon hands” moment: frostbitten Ellison loses fingers, gets spoons tied to his hands so he can feed himself if everyone else dies first (81:34).

6. Rescue & Aftermath (78:24–85:06)

• Rescue is finally triggered thanks to Greely’s wife lobbying politicians.
• Out of 25, only 7 survive (79:32).
• Bodies show evidence of flesh being removed (“In doing so, they notice that there are chunks of flesh carved out”—80:05).
• Survivors claim flesh was “used as bait,” but cannibalism is front-page news.
• Both Greely and Brainerd go on to become generals; every year on the rescue anniversary, they share a meal replicating their “dream menus” from their starving days.
• “To be the last man is a lonesome job.”—Brainerd, after Greely’s death (85:06).

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On 19th-century age verification:
  “Look at the bottom of my shoe. 18. Let me see the other one. Yeah, same thing. Those both have 18 on them.” — Dave (10:50)
• On expedition crew experience:
  “One guy who was not in the military did have experience of one time visiting Greenland. So no one’s been there except for one guy who went to Greenland.” — Dave (17:42)
• On optimism about resupply:
  “Trust me. Right now, they’re hanging stockings on their shelves, and they’re waiting for Santa Claus to come.” — Gareth, mocking officials' denial (28:13)
• On starvation-induced hallucinations:
  “He had an entire page in his journal devoted to food obsessions, as well as the favorite dishes of other men.”—Dave, about Brainerd (72:05)
• On the bleakest “solutions”:
  “There’s a secret that some men are doing. They’re cutting pieces of meat off dead bodies…” — Dave (72:31)
  “If I ever die, you are totally free to eat me.” — Dave (72:42)
  “I will eat you. Start with the ass.”—Gareth (72:45)
• On Ellison with spoons tied to his hands:
  “In the final weeks, they had tied a spoon to the stump of his hands so he could feed himself if everyone else died first.” — Dave (81:34)
  “That is so top-10 dark said on this show.” — Gareth (81:41)
• Survivors’ ritual:
  “Every year on June 22, the anniversary of the rescue, Adolphus and Brainerd got together to eat one of the menus that they and the other man had fantasized at about…” — Dave (84:26)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Adolphus Greely's background & Fort Conger setup: 08:28–21:48
• Resupply issues & missed caches: 25:05–30:16
• Proteus ship disaster & shifting south: 31:00–37:10
• Leadership crisis & mutiny talk: 47:05–51:29
• Discovering the Proteus is gone—grim realization: 52:09–53:41
• Starvation, food theft, cannibalism: 63:47–75:56
• Execution of Henry (food thief): 75:12–75:56
• Rescue and aftermath: 78:24–85:10

Tone, Banter, and Memorable Gags

As is Dollop tradition, the hosts rely on irreverent comedy, riffing on 19th-century logic (“Just write your age on your shoes!”), the mind-boggling lack of preparedness, and gallows humor about starvation and cannibalism. Gareth frequently improvises what suffering men would say (“We're gonna eat the dogs, aren’t we?”), and running jokes (like the “Spoonpaw” saga) lighten the brutality of the narrative.

Conclusion

This episode offers a mix of shock, laughter, and empathy as the comedy draws out the absurdity and tragedy of the Lady Franklin Bay Expedition. The hosts’ humor emphasizes the lessons of hubris, poor leadership, and the extremes desperation brings. As is the Dollop’s style, the historical disaster turns into a sprawling, darkly comedic morality tale—one that still haunts explorations to come.