The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds

Episode 717 – Brigham Young, Part Three (January 20, 2026)

Episode Overview

In this third part of their series on Brigham Young, comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds continue their irreverent deep-dive into the foundational years of Mormonism under Young’s leadership and the westward migration of the Mormon community. The episode covers Young’s marriages, family policies, movement to the West, colonial ambitions, harsh theocratic rule, conflicts over polygamy and slavery, and the escalating violence towards Native Americans. As always, the hosts' comedic riffing and sharp skepticism drive the narrative, illustrating the absurdity and brutality behind the myth of Mormon “Zion.”

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Brigham Young and Polygamy

• Rapid-fire Marriages:
  • Married Augusta Adams, Eliza Snow, and Ellen Rockwood all on the same day (02:28).
  • In the 15 months following, he married 15 women, aged 66 to 16 (03:18–04:15).
  • Many marriages were for "stability," such as widows or his own in-laws, but some were questionably young by modern standards.
  • Quote:
    “He married a 66... all the way down to 16.” (04:12, Dave)
    “Personally, I’d rather be married to a 66-year-old than a 16-year-old.” (05:20, Dave)
• Purpose and Power:
  • The marriages solidified familial and church alliances, linking prominent Mormon families.
  • Gareth and Dave riff on the hypocrisy and absurdity of using ‘spiritual binding’ as a justification for polygamy.
  • Many wives did not live with Young; some remained with parents, children, or prior husbands, highlighting that “marriage” was often practical or political rather than personal (06:27).

2. The Mormon Westward Migration

• Preparations and Logistics:
  • Young orchestrated the migration by assigning labor, adopting families (spiritual adoption), and instituting a communal approach to hardship and resources (14:11).
  • The "Camp of Israel" plan failed due to lack of unity; followers were not enthusiastic about 20-mile marches on limited rations (18:22–19:01).
• Paranoia and Control:
  • Young’s growing paranoia led to calls for surveillance on followers by assigning camp captains to observe and report on behavior—a proto–Silicon Valley surveillance culture riffed by Gareth (19:16–19:54).
  • Dissenters or slackers were menaced with excommunication or being left behind to die (46:12).
• Strict Routine:
  • Instituted a grueling daily schedule; a horn sounded at 5 a.m., with daily prayers and work, even through hardship (41:55–42:43).

3. Life in Winter Quarters and Migration Aftermath

• Communal Living:
  • Polygamous wives lived in a shared "Log Row" cabin or, for some, in wagons outside (30:01–31:40).
  • Living conditions led to emotional trauma, loneliness, and, in some cases, death (31:46–32:02).
• Social Structure:
  • Children from polygamous unions were rumored to be "smarter" than monogamous children—a claim mocked by Gareth (28:01).

4. Colonizing the Salt Lake Valley

• Arrival and Settlement:
  • Brigham declared the Salt Lake Valley the "promised land" despite warnings, and rapidly organized distribution of land for loyal followers (48:02–48:43).
• Indigenous Displacement:
  • Initial encounters with the Shoshone and Ute nations: Brigham planned to colonize and convert them, seeing them as descendants of Lamanites, destined to be "grafted in" and eventually made "white and delightsome" (50:09, 76:47–77:58).
  • Later, policy shifted from uneasy peace (with offers to "buy" land and educate Native children) to open violence and calls for extermination after conflicts and accusations of theft (81:07–82:27).
  • Quote:
    “Let it be peace with them or extermination. Not really an answer.” (83:10, Dave)

5. Governance, Polygamy, and Theocracy

• Leadership Power Struggles:
  • Young maneuvered to consolidate power, attempting to reduce the number of apostles and comparing himself to a CEO/coach (51:41–52:28).
  • Orson Pratt was the only apostle to directly challenge Young’s authority, leading to a dramatic showdown (53:02–54:13).
  • Ultimately, Young became president of the church, with apostolic dissenters sidelined (54:33).
• Territorial Ambitions and U.S. Governance:
  • Mormons lobbied Congress to create the massive Deseret Territory, unfurling their own flag and briefly declaring independence; the federal government limited them to what is now Utah and some outlying areas (64:23–70:21).
• Combining Religious and Civil Authority:
  • Young governed Utah as an "Israelite judge," settling domestic disputes and imposing himself as patriarch (56:34–56:45).

6. Polygamy and Misogyny

• Theology as Justification:
  • Young defended polygamy as biblically sanctioned, claiming it protected against prostitution and benefited surplus women (74:13–75:36).
  • Shocking Quotes:
    • “A woman is the dirtiest creature, dirtier than a man. Men are honest. But if a woman won’t lie, she is a miracle.” (33:01–33:21, Brigham Young, cited by Dave)
    • “The influence of my women over me is no more than the buzzing of a fly’s wing in winter.” (33:45, Brigham Young)
• Wives’ Discontent:
  • Diaries describe emotional agony, feelings of abandonment while “married but completely alone” (62:16–62:39).
  • Numerous wives sought spiritual divorce or wished to be sealed to Jesus or Joseph Smith instead (63:08–63:48).
• Divorce/Defections:
  • At least seven wives severed ties to Young to remarry elsewhere (64:07).

7. Slavery, Race, and Hypocrisy

• Policy Spin:
  • Brigham Young hedged on slavery: told DC politicos it wasn't a Mormon priority while maintaining and legalizing slavery in Utah (68:52–70:21).
  • State acts avoided the term "slave," but functionally ensured legal servitude and discouraged black people from settling in Utah (89:33–90:07).
• Racist Doctrines:
  • Young stated black people would be “happy servants” and that “nearly freed the territory of the colored population” was a point of pride (88:19–90:07).
  • Native Americans were to be “bred out” through marriage to white Mormon men (77:25–77:58).

8. Escalating Conflict and Violence

• Violence Against Native Peoples:
  • Increasing brutality in governance of the territory, including massacres, beheading Native men for “medical research,” and forced assimilation of children (82:27–87:50).
  • Gareth and Dave lay bare the colonial mindset with macabre satire (“Let me tell you why we’re the chosen people: we’re the only ones doing torso pebbles” – 80:35).

Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Polygamy:
  “You don’t gotta marry everyone and say this is part of this fucking golden plated plan.” (07:16–07:21, Gareth)

• On the Power Structure:
  “Religious cults are just like other cults. … It’s always some flawed dude atop it, who’s paranoid, crazy, and wants everything.” (19:31, Gareth)

• On Surveillance:
  “He wanted camp captains to observe every person in camp and report on their behavior. … It’s actually what our Silicon Valley guys want.” (19:16, Dave)

• On Women in Mormonism:
  “The entire religion is based on women pretending to be happy at this point. So what do you want to say, she’s a liar? These women are liars.” (33:27, Gareth) “Another quote. The influence of my women over me is no more than the buzzing of a fly’s wing in winter.” (33:45, Dave, quoting Brigham Young)

• On Violence:
  “Dozens of Utes were killed over the next month as the Mormons claimed the valley. … They're just in the way.” (84:36, Dave)

• On Slavery:
  “You could have slaves but let’s be nice. The perfect central compromise, basically.” (89:28–89:44, Dave)

• On Hypocrisy:
  “The federal government was so appalled by the revelations of polygamy that no one noticed Utah had legalized slavery.” (89:47, Dave)

• On Systemic Racism:
  “Buy up the Lamanite children as fast as they could and educate them ... so that in not many generations, they would be white and delight some people.” (87:37, Dave)

• On Farcical Governance:
  “He ended up running his own independent state.... I also am going to wear a wizard beard and have a staff.” (56:34–56:53, Dave and Gareth)

Key Segment Timestamps

• Polygamy, Marrying Spree & Age Gaps – 02:28–05:26
• Family Alliances & Spiritual Adoption – 08:35–15:01
• Camp of Israel & Failed Exodus Plans – 16:30–19:01
• Strict Daily Routines, Migration Hardship – 41:55–43:09
• Salt Lake Valley Settlement & Indigenous Erasure – 47:01–51:46
• Mormon Theocracy & Power Consolidation – 51:41–54:33
• Brigham Young’s Misogyny and Wives’ Diaries – 62:16–64:07
• Polygamy Publicly Declared, U.S. Outrage – 73:57–75:36
• Slavery Legalized in Utah, Federal Ignorance – 89:28–90:07
• Violence Against Native Americans – 81:07–85:02

Tone and Style

Irreverent, biting, and comedic, Dave and Gareth use a blend of historical detail, modern satire, and absurd analogy to take down the mythology of Brigham Young and early Mormon leadership. They expose the contradictions and violence beneath the official narrative, always emphasizing the human cost—especially to women and indigenous people—while punctuating their analysis with riffs, analogies, and dark jokes.

Conclusion

Part three leaves the Mormon “Zion” increasingly embroiled in violence, hypocrisy, and moral contradictions: women’s misery behind polygamous walls, open warfare on indigenous nations, shifting lies about slavery, and a theocratic power grab riding on spiritual and temporal manipulation. The hosts' brutal honesty and humor make for an entertaining yet sobering episode, concluding with a promise of even greater conflict to come in part four as “things get a little heated with America.”