Transcript

A (0:00)

The Dollop will be on tour in March 2026. We are going to be in Buffalo on March 22. Then on the 23rd, we'll be in Syracuse. Then on March 24, we'll be in Boston at the Wilbur. Then on the 25th, we'll be in Bridgeport. And 26, the Gramercy Theater in New York. And then on the 27th, we'll be in Albany. And then on the 28th, we'll be in Pittsburgh. And then on the 29th, we'll be in Philadelphia. And then on the 30th, we'll be in Washington, D.C. at the Lincoln. The. Why would you name a theater after Lincoln? Anyway, that's our March 2026 tour. Go to dolloppodcast.com tour for tickets. You're listening to the Dollop. This is an American history podcast where each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to a giant.

B (0:55)

Boob and Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about.

A (1:02)

Is it true? Because.

B (1:04)

Oh, yeah. And it's not true. I know what it's going to be about.

A (1:06)

So you lied.

B (1:07)

I did lie. I've lied.

A (1:09)

How do you feel about that? And why is your hand there? So your legs are crossed. And your hand is through your crossed legs, cutie. For. I think for only me. It's upsetting because I think people looking straight at you, it's not as weird for me. Don't pat yourself there. No, I'm not liking anything that's going on.

B (1:30)

You ever wonder what that would look like if I did that?

A (1:32)

I'm wondering how punchy you are. Don't hit yourself there.

B (1:37)

Get the baby pouch.

A (1:38)

This is a family podcast.

B (1:40)

Hear this. One, two, three. You're right. I should atone for the sin of lying about. I do know what the topic is gonna be about. It's about Brigham Young, and he's gonna probably get killed on this episode, and I'm gonna be real excited.

A (1:53)

He doesn't get killed.

B (1:54)

He's gonna die.

A (1:55)

He's gonna die because it's the last episode, but he doesn't get killed.

Summary

The Dollop Episode 718 – Brigham Young, Part Four

Podcast: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds
Date: January 27, 2026
Episode: 718 – Brigham Young, Part Four

Overview

This episode concludes the epic, outrageous tale of Brigham Young, infamous Mormon leader and self-proclaimed prophet. Dave Anthony guides Gareth Reynolds through the latter half of Young’s life, exploring his iron-fisted rule over Utah, his polygamous reign, business schemes, and his role in one of America’s darkest massacres. The comedians bring their signature blend of historical rigor and irreverent commentary, making the reality of 19th-century Mormonism both horrifying and hilarious.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Beehive and the Lion: Building Brigham's Empire

Symbolism of Bees:
- The "Beehive House" (Brigham's residence) symbolized the Mormon values of “industry, cooperation, and building God's kingdom on earth.”
- [04:10] A: "Why do Mormons like bees? ... They believe it symbolizes core values: industry, cooperation, and building God’s kingdom on earth."
- [04:34] B: "Go Mormons. Lot of honeys."
Polygamy, Power, and Marriage Control:
- Brigham managed the marriage and divorce of all Mormons, often privileging his own authority and charging fees for divorce.
- [06:58] A: "Most polygamous unions needed his consent. … If you want a wife, you first ask Brigham, then the parents, and next the female."
- [07:25] B: "What's the point of asking her? What?"

The Business of Being Brigham

Consecration and Church Wealth:
- Saints signed deeds handing property to the Church/Brigham; Brigham pretended to lead by example, “consecrating” his own fortune to himself.
- [10:22] A (reading): "Church members sign deeds assigning their property to the Church of Jesus Christ Latter Day Saints. Brigham Young, trustee in trust for the church."
- [11:00] B: "He’s giving up the gold watches. Damn it."
Indentured Servitude Disguised as Migration:
- Mormons indebted themselves to the church to finance the trek; Brigham’s company charged for handcarts, resulting in suffering and death.
- [13:02] A: "Mormons borrowed money from the church to come to Utah… which is called indentured servitude."
- [15:44] A: "On one crossing of 600 people, 150 died from starvation because he’s telling them it’s easy..."

The Tyrant Rhetoric: Sex, Sin, and Power

Projection and Sermons:
- Brigham leveraged religious pressure to maintain power: demanded tithing, blamed congregants for lack of faith, especially if they resisted plural marriage.
- [17:39] B: "He demanded repentance and rebaptism… quote, ranging from adultery to dishonesty to a failure to tithe."
- [19:34] A: "He said some saints kept their ‘brains below their waistbands.’"
- [19:54] A: "Some saints’ reluctance to engage in plural marriage was proof to Brigham of their lack of faith."
Lowering the Age of Consent:
- With a shortage of women due to polygamy, girls as young as 13 were married off.
- [21:01] A: "The age at which girls could get married dropped… there is hardly a girl 14 years old in Utah but what is married…”
- [21:48] A: "Brigham allowed a marriage to a 13 year old, but said to ‘preserve her intact until she is fully developed into womanhood.’ Well, that’s not creepy and weird. Thank you."

Against the US Government: Isolation, War, and the Mountain Meadows Massacre

Defiance and Escalation:
- Brigham Young uses martial law, blocks trade, and sends Mormon raiders to resist US intervention and prepare to burn Salt Lake City if needed.
- [24:46] A: "So they planned to delay the troops as long as possible… Brigham’s plan B was to evacuate and burn Salt Lake City to the ground."
Mountain Meadows Massacre:
- In a climate of paranoia and war, Mormon settlers massacre 120 men, women, and children—blamed on Native Americans, but Brigham’s rhetoric is directly implicated.
- [26:46] A: "They butchered the women and most of the children… 120 men, women, and children died.”
- [27:33] A: "Although Brigham didn’t directly order the massacre, historians now draw a line from his rhetoric and dehumanization of non-Mormons to the violence at Mountain Meadows."
- [44:43] B: (On faking compliance with the army) "You guys swear to God you’re not being Mormon."
- [44:49] A: "I don’t even know those other ladies."

Brigham's Declining Years: Wealth, Wives, and Hypocrisy

Relentless Accumulation:
- Brigham continues collecting wives (up to 56) and wealth, mostly as Church “trustee.”
- [45:44] A (quoting Brigham): "I could find more girls who would choose me for a husband than can any of the young men."
- [46:08] A: "In 1859, he is worth $250,000, which is $10 million today, just like God intended."
- [47:38] B: "He’s managing farms, mills, a cotton factory, and a lumber yard, just like God wanted me to."
Labor Exploitation:
- Workers paid little, not in cash but in goods or script; Brigham brags about his role as a benevolent “landlord."
- [48:04] A: "He is to be paid in anything we have, except cash or store pay. Is promising some better clothing."
Hypocrisy and Lasting Legacy:
- Brigham rails against greed, money obsession, while amassing vast wealth and land, and enjoying absolute power.
- [70:18] B: "Piece of s***. Some of you are just... big crazy for money. It's not all about money."
- [70:36] A: "We’re damn fools. You will go to hell, lots of you, unless you repent. He’s so talking about himself."
- [71:25] A: "He had married 56 wives and had 57 children."

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

[06:12] B: "Whoa. And then I realized you don't [have to talk to all your wives]."
[07:52] A: "He was more likely to grant a divorce in cases of impotency or infertility. Can't get it up."
[13:13] B: "Because God said to."
[14:01] B: "The whole racket here is to profit off the Bible or the religious teachings as much as possible while moving as far away from anything that… Jesus."
[14:33] A (quoting Brigham): "I will sell your wives and children as at auction."
[23:24] A (On a federal letter): "We need to kill them all."
[24:30] A (Brigham): "If I were thrown into the situation Joseph was, I would leave the people and go into the wilderness and let them do the best they could."
[26:46] A: "They butchered the women and most of the children. They mercilessly shot, stabbed, and slashed the throats of immigrants who plead for their lives."
[50:04] B: "Cool stuff."
[51:58] B: "I'm very excited to have you in my new brain. How does it feel to get the catch of catches?"
[55:26] A: "He’s living in a nice little headspace right now."
[57:02] B: "Yeah, he's an all-hater."
[62:06] B: "He’s still– married tons of young ladies."
[63:25] B: "The key, I think the key to Mormonism and many religions is shut out reality. But if you hear this and you're like, yeah, I'm hanging in there with this one... How? What the [expletive]."

Timeline of Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 04:10-05:05| Symbols: "Beehive House" & "Lion House" – Why Mormons love bees | | 06:58-08:45| Brigham controls all marriages; polygamy rules; divorce fees | | 10:22 | Consecration: Property deeds to the Church/Brigham | | 13:02-16:26| Indentured servitude, migration deaths, and Brigham's deflections | | 19:34-20:23| Sermons on sin & projection—failure to engage in plural marriage | | 21:01-22:15| Girl "shortage" and lowering of marriage age | | 24:46-26:32| Martial law, planning to burn Salt Lake, escalating tension | | 26:46-27:33| Mountain Meadows massacre and Brigham’s culpability | | 45:44-48:06| Wealth, property, and exploiting workers | | 51:58 | Brigham’s “favorite wife” & ensuing jealousy | | 56:56-59:01| Railroad arrives, Brigham profits, Black/women’s suffrage in Utah | | 61:20-62:14| Arrests, legal wrangling, and Brigham’s declining health | | 65:13-66:44| Ann Eliza’s divorce suit and the legal crack in Mormon polygamy | | 67:46-68:19| Aftermath of the Mountain Meadows trial, further indictments | | 70:36-71:25| Brigham’s last days, death, and legacy |

Tone and Style

The Dollop’s signature is a blend of fact and satire, with Dave as the straight (but exasperated) historian and Gareth riffing with outlandish, often explicit, punchlines. Both challenge the mythology of Brigham Young and Mormonism, regularly highlighting the hypocrisy, cruelty, and absurdity in Young’s actions and rhetoric.

Conclusion & Legacy

Brigham Young dies in 1877 at age 76 after a long, unchecked reign as both ecclesiastical and temporal leader in Utah. Despite his callousness, hypocrisy, and a body count that includes the Mountain Meadows Massacre, he left an indelible mark: institutions, a university, and a church bearing his name. As Dave and Gareth conclude, the roots of Mormon power run deep, nourished by Young’s blend of charisma, control, and ruthlessness. The story, as always on The Dollop, is both a cautionary tale and a reminder: when one man is allowed unchecked power (especially “from God”), the results are predictably dire for everyone else.

Key Sources Referenced:

John Turner, Brigham Young: Pioneer Prophet
Mr. Warner, Brigham Young
Stephen Hardy, Letter to His Family, 1862

For more: See The Dollop Podcast for tickets and future episodes.

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718 - Brigham Young - Part Four