725 - The Possum Open Mic with Mike Bridenstine

Summary

The Dollop #725: The Possum Open Mic (with Mike Bridenstine)

Main Theme / Purpose

In this episode of The Dollop, comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds hand the storytelling reins to guest Mike Bridenstine, who reads from his book Kansas City Comedy. Bridenstine recounts the infamous and chaotic "Possum Open Mic" incident—described as the wildest and most traumatic stand-up story from Kansas City’s comedy scene. The episode is a raucous exploration of open mic comedy culture, creative risk-taking, comic camaraderie, and the line between memorable performance and social disaster.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Role Reversal and Episode Setup

• Dave and Gareth admit they forgot to bring a story for the week, leading to Mike Bridenstine stepping in to narrate a tale from his book (03:00).
• Mike’s segment sets a tone of improvisational chaos that reflects the actual story being told.

2. Meet Kyle Paris: Open Mic Madman

• The protagonist: Kyle Paris, a notorious Kansas City comic known for using strange props (cooler, vacuum, pies, roadkill) in his acts (04:39).
• He meticulously prepares for a July 2001 open mic at Stanford’s club with an assortment of odd items, including a newly acquired fresh roadkill possum, obtained on his long drive to the venue (05:36).

3. Roadkill Comedy: The Set-Up

• Bridenstine details Paris’s history of bizarre props—he previously performed with a thawed turkey stuffed with dog and cat food, using a dildo as a wooden spoon (11:33).
• The comics reminisce about the extremities of open mics—props, trauma memories, and the line between innovative and disturbing (05:30).

4. The Fateful Night at Stanford’s

• Paris attends the club’s pre-show meeting, gets his running order (he’s third), and prepares with dishwashing gloves, hula hoop, and his infamous cooler (08:34).
• The crowd includes about 50 people and 30 comics, with Paris hoping to stun everyone with his bit (16:19).

5. Disaster Unfolds Onstage

• Paris opens the cooler on stage, unleashing a wave of decomposing heat and stench from the possum (18:55).
• The physical effects: audience members cover mouths, eyes water, some flee or vomit, including a pregnant woman (21:18, 28:12).
• Paris, maintaining “professionalism,” continues the act by retrieving a vacuum cleaner and forcing its tube into the dead possum’s throat, blowing and spreading the stink across the room (23:56, 24:24).
• Chaos and panic erupt—tables flip, people flee, and some vomit in the bathrooms (26:32).

6. Aftermath and Banishment

• Manager Ron Mirin, already known as a club “ticking time bomb,” is incensed and bans Kyle Paris for life after threatening to kill him (33:44).
• Comics and audience process trauma, but the comedy show resumes; staff spray industrial Lysol and perform amid lingering odors (46:24, 47:50).
• Paris, outside, reflects on his failure and emotional devastation, but is surprised by audience members telling him “you made me vomit, but it was awesome” (56:29).

7. Legacy and Redemption

• Despite permanent infamy, Paris is only banned for six months, later returning with a "No Dead Possum" t-shirt (61:34).
• The event cements Kyle’s legend in the Kansas City comedy scene; he forms a close, enduring friendship with Andrea Kaspari, another comic who performed that night (64:17).
• The story remains a defining (if traumatic) local comedy story, recounted with mixture of horror and admiration by the comics involved.

8. Reflections on Comedy’s Edges

• Discussion on creative boundaries, the importance of friends as checks for comic bits, and the difference in perspective between comedians and club staff/managers (30:32).
• The group reflects on how this kind of event would play out in the social media/phone camera era (63:10).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

The Buildup

• “He’s on his way to the mic, so you’d think he’d get the road—like, where is this again?"
  — Gareth Reynolds (06:00)

The Stench Arrives

• “When he opened the van, Paris remembers smelling the outside of the cooler to see if there was an odor. And since there wasn’t, he assumed everything was fine and dandy...”
  — Mike Bridenstine (16:52)

• “I opened it up and the heat in that place went up like 10 degrees. I'm not even kidding.”
  — Mike Bridenstine (20:08)

The Vacuum Catastrophe

• “He pulls out this vacuum... shoves the nozzle down the gullet of the beast and flips the thing on... A cloud of stench explodes out of this thing and wafts through the comedy club.”
  — Mike Bridenstine, quoting comic Chris Porter (24:07)

• “She gets a face full of stench, runs to the restroom puking so loudly we can hear her.”
  — Mike Bridenstine (28:12)

Comic Camaraderie and Reflection

• “Everyone who was telling me this story later kind of had like fond memories of it. Except for this manager guy. He's still very angry.”
  — Mike Bridenstine (33:35)

• “People came up to me and they said, you made me vomit. But it was awesome.”
  — Kyle Paris, via Mike Bridenstine (56:29)

On Comedy and Tragedy

• “If you're an open micr, you need to have an open micr friend and you need to talk to each other about what you're planning.”
  — Dave Anthony (30:32)

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Important Segment Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Event | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------| | 03:00 | Mike Bridenstine introduced as guest storyteller | | 05:36 | Paris assembles props and seeks roadkill | | 11:33 | Description of Paris’s notorious previous routines | | 16:19 | Club and crowd context; Paris prepares his bit | | 18:55 | The cooler is opened; the stench is unleashed | | 23:56 | Paris retrieves the possum; audience begins fleeing | | 24:07 | Vacuum cleaner makes things exponentially worse | | 26:32 | Full-scale panic and vomiting | | 33:44 | Manager bans Paris for life, threatens violence | | 41:45 | Show resumes after chaos, staff sprays Lysol | | 56:29 | Audience members praise Paris for the “vomit bit” | | 61:34 | Paris’s comic ban is lifted after 6 months | | 64:17 | Paris and Kaspari become close friends |

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Additional Stories & Book Details

• Mike Bridenstine’s Kansas City Comedy features other jaw-dropping tales: Norm MacDonald clearing out a family-night crowd, a comic faking being wheelchair-bound for two years, the criminal history of the club’s owners, and more (65:18).
• The Possum Open Mic stands as the book’s most infamous chapter, celebrated (and relived) on its 25th anniversary by the comics involved.

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Closing Comments

• All hosts agree the story typifies the extremes of open mic comedy and would have exploded online in today’s viral era (63:10).
• The interwoven threads of disgust, admiration, and comic trauma provide a potent reflection on where the spectacle of stand-up meets the boundaries of good sense.

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This episode is a must-listen for anyone fascinated by stand-up’s wild underbelly, tales of notoriety, and the blurry lines between legendary creativity and social disaster.

Transcript

[Dave Anthony]

The Dollop will be on tour in March 2026. We are going to be in Buffalo on March 22. Then on the 23rd, we'll be in Syracuse. Then on March 24, we'll be in Boston at the Wilbur. Then on the 25th, we'll be in Bridgeport. And 26, the Gramercy Theater in New York. And then on the 27th will be in Albany. And then on the 28th, we'll be in Pittsburgh. And then on the 29th, we'll be in Philadelphia. And then on the 30th, we'll be in Washington D.C. at the Lincoln. The. Why would you name a theater after Lincoln? Anyway, that's our March 2026 tour. Go to dolloppodcast.com tour for tickets.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's time for trash day Nose yoga with Hefty. Let's transform stinky scenarios with a joyful scent of fabuloso. Inhale you forgot to empty your kid's lunchbox. Exhale a field of lavender. Inhale stinky leftovers. Exhale watermelon in the summer.

[Mike Bridenstine]

That's the power of Hefty.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ultra strong trash bags with fabuloso. Hefty. Hefty. Hefty.

[Dave Anthony]

You're listening to the Dollop on the All Things Comedy Network. This is an American history podcast where each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to a goober, Gareth Reynolds.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not a goober who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. All right.

[Dave Anthony]

Is this so I forgot the. I forgot to bring a story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't have a story. What do you mean?

[Dave Anthony]

You don't just have an extra one?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I. Something happened to me on the way here that was fun.

[Dave Anthony]

I think we need more than that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not necessarily. Should we try it?

[Mike Bridenstine]

You guys, I have fantastic news for you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who are you?

[Mike Bridenstine]

I'm Mike Bridenstine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Michael Bridenstine.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah, he just did the past times.

[Dave Anthony]

You were in the past.

[Mike Bridenstine]

You guys remember me from the pastime? Yeah, yeah, we had a good time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I guess. I don't know.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I heard you guys might not have a story this week.

[Dave Anthony]

How did you know that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm in the middle of figuring it out, Mike. So we don't need you to. No, no, no.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah, it's a weird thing to run. I have a solution to the problem.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mike. We're actually in the middle of kind of figuring it out.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Go ahead and figure it out for a little bit. I just. Come back to me when you need something.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know if we have any.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, go ahead. What are you gonna.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah, I have a story this week.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, how do you have a story?

[Mike Bridenstine]

I have a story this week.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're gonna read it to Dave and

[Mike Bridenstine]

I. Yeah, I guess that was. We should do that. How? I'll read it to you guys for a change.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, let's try the.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Do the intro.

[Dave Anthony]

Fascinating.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You start it then.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Okay. So this week I, Mike Brighton, you

[Gareth Reynolds]

gotta be like, welcome to the Dollop.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Welcome to the Dollop. Wherever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't do it into the camera.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Okay. I want to welcome you guys to the Dollop. Okay. Have you been welcomed?

[Dave Anthony]

No, never.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, no.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Every week, usually something else happens. But this week I, Mike Bridenstine, read a story from history to you, Dave and Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No idea what the topic is going to be about. Yeah, yeah. And this is from your book?

[Mike Bridenstine]

This is from my book, Kansas City Comedy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that's where people get.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Kansas City. Come go to the Internet on the bad places owned by the bad people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Listen,

[Mike Bridenstine]

I have to work with the bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you wrote this. I wrote this book and you kind of soft pitched it to us on a pastimes and we said to you, if you ever want to come in and read this, walk us through this, go ahead. So let's do a dollop.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Okay. This is a.

[Dave Anthony]

There's a. There's more than one story I had. I want. Yeah, there's.

[Mike Bridenstine]

There's.

[Dave Anthony]

There were definitely more than one story I could have done picked here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's okay. From his book.

[Dave Anthony]

This one is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, there's.

[Mike Bridenstine]

This is probably the four craziest standup stories I've ever heard. And this one you're about to hear, I believe to be the craziest thing I've ever heard in comedy.

[Dave Anthony]

I would also foreshadow. But I would also say it is the best written feel of a open mic that I've ever read by far.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I appreciate that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's tough to hear, Kyle. People should probably not read that because if you could actually experience that through words, that's not great. Nightmare feeling.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Well, this one will make you not want to go even more to an open mic.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Kyle Paris made a list of all the items he'd need for his big open mic performance at Stanford's. He got a towel, dishwashing gloves, a hula hoop, his vacuum cleaner, and his trusty igloo cooler, which he'd lined with trash bags.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can I ask a question? Well, first of all, let me know when a weird thing happens. Second of all, what year are we talking 2001. Okay.

[Mike Bridenstine]

This is July.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is the worst thing that happened in 2001.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you remember these guys who would bring props to the open mics?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, I remember a. I know, but I do remember one time watching a ventriloquist get ready, kind of like that. And. And it was like there were like three people there, and I was like, oh. And, like, watching him put it on his hand, I was like, I mean, what I'm doing is sad, but we

[Dave Anthony]

had a guy that would come in a lab coat and sometimes a cooler.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Are you serious?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

You always remember. It registers as trauma, so you remember the early ones. So that's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Then he put on a jacket and tie with his jeans instead of dress pants and loaded all his props into his blue Dodge Caravan. On the way to the club, Paris realized he'd forgotten to buy ice for the cooler. And as he tells it, it was too late for him to go back for ice or stop anywhere else to buy it, especially now that he had roadkill to find.

[Dave Anthony]

Are you having any problems right now? Are there any red flags coming out?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love the. Yeah. I mean, he's on his way to the mic.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He's on his way to the mic,

[Gareth Reynolds]

so you'd think he'd get the road. Like, where is this again?

[Mike Bridenstine]

This is in Kansas City.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. So I guess there is roadkill. It's, like, likely. But I still think earlier in the day you'd get that done.

[Dave Anthony]

That's Kyle.

[Mike Bridenstine]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

Kyle looks like kind of looks familiar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Mike Bridenstine]

At the time, Paris was living in Warrensburg, Missouri, a 50 mile commute to Westport. Westport is the neighborhood in Kansas City. And on that drive, he started looking for dead animals. The first two times Paris pulled over were unsuccessful. One time it was a dead cat, and it was too mangled up, so I couldn't use it. Paris said, and. And I pulled over and it was another dead animal. I forgot what it was, but it was too mangled up. It was in half, and I can't do that. So the third time was the charm.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, it was in half.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You imagine watching a guy look at roadkill and walk away, be like, what just happened to him? Be like, I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

I feel like that might happen a lot out there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's. There's a video, there's a vice. Art. There's a vice on this English guy. Yeah. And he's, like, walking. He's like. But the problem is you can eat Italian. You've just got to try real Hard, like, he's like, skunk. I've got skunk right here.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, there's definitely people that eat roadkill. That's a thing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I mean, look, I mean, it's.

[Dave Anthony]

If it's fresh, it's ground, okay?

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's ground.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ground. Ground beef.

[Mike Bridenstine]

If it's not fresh, I got bad

[Gareth Reynolds]

news for you, Dave. It's not fresh.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Halfway to the club, Paris found a dead possum that he did, he deemed suitable, although at the time he thought it was a ferret.

[Dave Anthony]

Easy mistake to make.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, once things run over, you're like, is that a mink?

[Dave Anthony]

They don't look anything alike. No, but they don't have the same hair.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But a ferret looks like roadkill if it was brought back to life in like a ceremony. Like ferrets, you're like, it's face is intact.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Talk about the ceremony.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you've seen we get a birdie too, right? Very similar.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Regardless, he took out his dishwashing gloves, stuffed the animal into his trash line cooler, loaded it back into his van, as made his way to Stanford's for their standard pre show meeting with all the comics.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's crazy too.

[Dave Anthony]

I didn't catch that. That he lined. He lined it with the trash. Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's also the fact that there's a pre show comic meeting is amazing. Sometimes, guys, you're in the big leagues. This is an open mic.

[Dave Anthony]

Some clubs do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've never seen it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they. They explain it.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah, there's rules.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I always feel like the host walks you through.

[Mike Bridenstine]

The host does. The host usually goes up and be like, shut up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The light. Respect. You have one minute.

[Mike Bridenstine]

For Andrea Kaspari, this particular night made a huge impression because it happened to be her first open mic in Kansas City before the show. According to Kaspari, 25 to 30 comedians crowded into the basement of the club so the new comics could learn the running order and the rules. Comics get three minutes in the light and will come back from the room telling them when it's time to wrap it up, that sort of thing. And to the best of her recollection, Paris drew number three in the running order. And she drew number five. I was trying to soak it all in. Kaspari remembered.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is. I think that's an important detail. The order.

[Dave Anthony]

So the order. Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I'm one of very few women and I see this really odd, super tall, really angular, crazy looking guy. His hair, his hair was very poofy at the time and he kind of had a longer Nose, little weasel teeth. Let's just not. He's roadkill.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Looked like roadkill.

[Dave Anthony]

Can I just say about the list. We had a really great open mic in San Francisco where the woman who run it, Rebecca, the Holy City Zoo, she would come up with who went where and you would know if you were doing well and ready to move on from open mics would get better spots and people she thought had no hope ever, they would get the worst spots and eventually go away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, there, you know, there are good open mics. There are like, there's one they do at Acme and they always are like, it's banging.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But it is, for the most part it is a nightmare.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Really.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just so you can. It's a step up from doing material in front of the mirror.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, and there's. There's a lot of people working out that. Yeah. They're never going to become.

[Mike Bridenstine]

They're never going to do anything.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He's a strange looking dude and I see that he has an igloo cooler with him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a very strange thing to see. What is the point of a cooler if you have no ice? He has a trash bag at this point. Like you could.

[Dave Anthony]

What's in the cooler?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The roadkill.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. So that's the point of the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you have a trap. Like, there's no.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It makes sense if you think about it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The cooler is a container for the ice. Is the advantage of the cooler.

[Dave Anthony]

It's gonna make sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Mike Bridenstine]

The cooler was well known in the Kansas City comedy community already.

[Dave Anthony]

There you go.

[Mike Bridenstine]

For a long time, comedian Chris Porter said every Thanksgiving, Kyle would come in with a full turkey. His big schtick. He had a public access show and that was his premise for every bit. We didn't have YouTube yet. Paris explained. We had public access. So in this public access themed bit, Paris would introduce himself as the host of a cooking show. He would say that something to the effect of every Thanksgiving we cook. Cook turkeys for our families, but our most important family members get left out. And I'm talking about our pets. So tonight I'm going to show you how to make a wonderful Thanksgiving turkey for your pet. And that's when Paris brought a thawed out turkey out of his cooler, placed it on a baking tray on top of the stool. Then he would pull out a can of dog food, eat a little bit of it with his hands, and then stuff the dog food inside the raw turkey. Then he would take out the cat food and do the same thing.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Which grossed people out, but made some people laugh. Paris told me that was part of the joke.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Holy. I mean, that's an open mic.

[Mike Bridenstine]

This is an open mic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. If I. If. If you. I would start going to open mics again if there was a guy eating dog food.

[Dave Anthony]

This is the kind of. That happened at San Francisco with Mike's all the time.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Oh, God.

[Dave Anthony]

This is like this. The guy would have fit in perfectly

[Gareth Reynolds]

in San Francisco so far. If I'm a manager, I'm like, look, he needs work, but I love the seeds. There's some elements here that this.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Now I want to make sure that the dog food and cat food are deep enough inside the turkey that it bastes in with all the turkey juices and increases the flavor. He would tell the probably disgusted audience.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And then Paris, only making matters worse, would pull out a Dilla Doe. Sorry, they're gonna get mad at pronouncing that one right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that because you can't say dildo? Because they'll sue you. I've got to be very careful here. My lawyer told me it has to be a dildo.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's an Italian dildo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He said diller door. I put it up on my p. In the dealer, though. Come on. The dildo. Say when

[Mike Bridenstine]

he pulled out the dildo and proceeded to push it in and out of the turkey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, so he is a turkey with dog food.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right. Just as you'd think it up with sound.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's one of those things, too. If you were there, you'd be watching it, and you'd be like. I mean, the beginning was funny. This is a war crime. It was funny when he ate dog food. Now I'm watching.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He was playing the whole thing deadpan, as if it was a normal kitchen. Kitchen tool. And then he would take the dildo out of the turkey and lick it as if it were a wooden spot for sake.

[Dave Anthony]

Hell, yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

This was an annual tradition at Stanford for years, after all, a description of which actually made it into the Kansas City Star on August 11, 2000.

[Dave Anthony]

See, it's popular, by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is one month to the day before 9. 11.

[Mike Bridenstine]

So one more than a year.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh. Oh, sorry.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Comics loved Kyle, comedian Dean Bose said, and I think Kyle's a goddamn genius. But audiences don't always get him, and certainly not in a comedy club setting. He just scared people a lot of the time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You could definitely.

[Dave Anthony]

There's a lot of those at open mics.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So did Andy Kaufman over the years.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Paris had other. Well, Known bits involving this igloo cooler. For another oft mentioned act, he would wear nothing but women's underw, climb a stool and then jump into a pile of five or six pies, all of which emerge from the cooler.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who runs the club.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Okay, so this is there. It's run by the Glazer brothers, who are just out and out criminals.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So that. But because I'm just thinking like as far as cleanup.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. See, that's why I think most clubs wouldn't allow this because the cleanup of the pies. He must have put something.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He put a tarp down.

[Dave Anthony]

Putting a tarp.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Even then though, you'd be like, hey, yeah, you have five minutes. How much of it is pie?

[Mike Bridenstine]

Because this was like a restaurant. Restaurant too. Oh.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, really?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are people eating during this?

[Mike Bridenstine]

People are eating downstairs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Downstairs, right.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yes. Okay. Still, I just writhed around in the pies. Paris explained. And then I got up and slipped. Got up again and slipped. Had chocolate hanging off my ass. So it looked like a turd coming out.

[Dave Anthony]

So it's. That's the comedy.

[Mike Bridenstine]

If he brought the cooler, Porter said, you knew it was on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love Chris Porter watching this.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Porter was there for one of the. For the big story. So aware of this, after the pre show meeting, Paris decided to put the cooler back in the van for the time being. And he wanted. He wanted to bring out. He wanted. Sorry. He wanted his big act to be a surprise.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure.

[Mike Bridenstine]

This was July in Kansas City and it could have been over 90 degrees that day. As baseball great Ichiro Suzuki famously told Bob Casas in 2003, August in Kansas City is hotter than two rats in a fucking wool sock. Well, in July in Kansas City is even hot would be great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Also a good roadkill replacement. It feels like he had time to get ice.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yes, I feel like he had time to get ice. I think people ask.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it's literally in at a gas station. That is a 38 second transaction if you play your cards.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I think he just didn't think about the ice. Really.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a different time now. It's all we talk about.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

July in Kansas City is even hotter than August and probably much hotter inside the van where there was no ice in the cooler. The show started around 8:30pm so Paris had time to hide his vacuum cleaner. The vacuum cleaners brought up earlier on

[Gareth Reynolds]

time to hide the. There's. There was time.

[Mike Bridenstine]

There's time to hide the vacuum cleaner.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No ice was a choice.

[Dave Anthony]

No ice is a choice. I agree. No ice is a choice.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He hid it behind the curtain before people started coming in. The size of the crowd varies wildly in people's memories. Club manager Ron Mirren's guest around 50, with up to solid up to 30 comics on the lineup, plus the Sanford staff. It seems like 50 is a decent guess. Either way, it was an intimate club, which gave the feeling of a packed room. Wherever Paris was on the lineup, he went back out to the van to receive to retrieve the cooler. When he opened the van, Paris remembers smelling the outside of the cooler to see if there was an odor. And since there wasn't, he assumed everything was fine and dandy went back upstairs with the cooler in tow and waited by the side of the stage until he was introduced.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is like an igloo ad.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, essentially, he's been. For a little while, he's been very, very slow cooking roadkill.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's very, very brazing and falling off the boat.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't think this gets to the brazen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's also so funny. That Kansas City barbecue.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's like ten tender knee.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you're gonna let it sit in there for a little while.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I had my suit on. Paris told me I had my cooler in my lap.

[Dave Anthony]

Really into this suit.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I want people to picture it. And the hula hoop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I had, by the way, the hula. We've all forgotten about the hula. We've really been focused on so many moving on the tomb.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And I had my gloves on top of the cooler.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure.

[Mike Bridenstine]

The host was a friend of mine named Dean Bose. And I remember he announced me, like, oh, ladies and gentlemen, comics in the back. Guess what, Kyle? Paris has a cooler that everybody gets excited.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Comics in the back is really. It's about to get the audience outside of the audience there to make you feel terrible or. Or there too. I mean, that was what Brody was very like. Comics in the back would watch Brody Stevens be like, I don't care what they. The. Their reaction was your g. It was like a gift to you to watch people watch someone as well.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. If he. And this guy is playing to the back of the room, that's 100%.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know who he's playing. I think everybody There's. It's tiered reaction. It's like the first time you do comedy in a theater, you're like, it's traveling. Like, he was probably. Probably like, I'm getting gasps and then people are pissing their pants.

[Mike Bridenstine]

After the introduction, an extremely nervous Paris walked on stage and laid the towel down over the stool. I said, hey, I'm Kyle Paris. I'm an animal trainer and I got a ferret with me. And we're gonna do some tricks for you.

[Dave Anthony]

We're gonna do some tricks for you, Gareth. That's the key.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Comedian and witness Amy Clark remembers Barris referring to his animal as Mr. Jingles. That's when Paris first opened the airtight cooler and was knocked back not only by the pungent stench of death it released, but also by the heat coming off of the decomposing possum. It was Mr. Jingles.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, someone can explain this. I probably should have looked this up, but it had. It had. It had cranked up the decomposition because of the heat. So it was like. Yeah, it was like fast decomposing. Right, because of the.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah, it's a fast forward button.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. And it's also slow cremation really well.

[Dave Anthony]

It's also sealed so it's not getting air.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. So it's like really gunking up in there. It's like, it's. I mean, you know, it's like when someone takes a shit and then they like close the door. And you're like, your plan is flawed. You. You've really created a mausoleum of stink for some reason. You're like, was no window. You're like, how does it work? You're like, not like this.

[Dave Anthony]

I can tell you the traveling with Luke.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was going to say Luke move. At times I'm like, walk me through the pitch here that it lives longer. Not a.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I opened it up and the heat in that place went up like 10 degrees. I'm not even kidding.

[Dave Anthony]

I didn't know that decomposing things gave off heat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It really.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Well, you know what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You've taken it from earth to a container. So you are going to. We're finally learning. This thing was probably days old.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Oh yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, so.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And then there was the stench. But I'm a professional. I'm going to go through with this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He started.

[Dave Anthony]

He started the bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's on stage.

[Dave Anthony]

He started.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You can't go like. Never mind. You guys have been at DMV lately.

[Dave Anthony]

Put the. Put it back in and close.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why do they stop at D at the dmv? That weird.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Dating is hard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dating's weird. You ever been on a blind date? I went on a blind date with a deaf lady. What's in the cooler? It doesn't matter. It does not matter.

[Mike Bridenstine]

You guys don't want to know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We are not talking about the cooler any longer.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Paris was not the only person suffering.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are they got in the back of Target was that like a magical jungle. They're going to go in back and find the shoe.

[Mike Bridenstine]

The front row began covering their mouths and noses, reacting audibly in disgust to whatever the was in that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cool.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Paris said. You could see their eyes watering.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hell Gallagher. It is Hell Gallagher.

[Dave Anthony]

Gareth, I need you to think of something right now.

[Mike Bridenstine]

What's.

[Dave Anthony]

What's part of this equation that he hasn't used yet?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Hula Hoop. The Hula Hoop is he hasn't used the Hula Hoop. He hasn't met. I am. But he. The roadkill.

[Dave Anthony]

The vacuum.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The vacuum. It's funny because in my head I assumed the vacuum was there for post show.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Oh, and that's when. And that's when he reached in, retrieved the body of the dead animal and set it on the stool. By this point, the stink had hit the second row. He told me. Safeway and Albertsons have made saving easier than ever with great savings on family

[Dave Anthony]

favorites this week at Safeway and Albertsons. USDA choice beef, boneless, tri tip, whole or flankin style ribs bone in are $6.99 per pound member price and asparagus

[Mike Bridenstine]

are $1.99 per pound member price plus 16 ounce strawberries, 6 ounce raspberries or

[Dave Anthony]

blackberries are $1.97 each. Limit three member price with digital coupon. Hurry in. These deals won't last.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Best Visit Safeway or albertsons.com for more deals and ways to save. I can't believe he could.

[Dave Anthony]

He could. He could get through that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, yeah, well, he's got experience.

[Dave Anthony]

I know, but you're still probably gagging from the. Like, you're. Yeah, you're right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This truly is for maybe three people in the audience and for the other comics, I mean.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Tom Beckett said when he picked it up, there was juices and shit that drained on the floor.

[Dave Anthony]

Christoph wasn't that old.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I think, again, I think the container helps you.

[Dave Anthony]

The container, definitely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's recomposing.

[Dave Anthony]

It's like it's been crock potting.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Chris Porter was at a table in the back of the room with other comedians when the possum was revealed. We're in the back going, is that real? He told me. But then the people in the front row immediately started to vacate. And then we saw people get up. We were like, probably, oh my God. Then you see the blood drip from the mouth of this fucking dead possum and we're all in the back like, oh, it's real.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, he is just testing the balance. He's like, what? What? What can I not do? At this club.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

At this room above a restaurant.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Going along with a bit as written, Paris exclaimed, oh, my God, my ferret is choking. And then he retrieves the hidden vacuum cleaner from behind the curtain.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And I want to say, no matter how many times I've heard or thought about this story, the fact that he used a vacuum cleaner at all for the next part of the performance will forever boggle my mind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, seriously. Honestly.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He pulls out this vacuum, Porter said, shoves the nozzle down the gullet of the beast and flips the thing on. A lot of people don't know this, Porter continued, When a vacuum sucks, it also blows out somewhere. So the odor from within this rotting animal is now being expelled at 110 volts. The entire comedy club.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My God. Like you ever heard that story. Will Ferrell, when he auditioned for SNL and he kept meeting with Lauren Michael.

[Dave Anthony]

Did he do this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no. He w. He had a briefcase with a fake million dollars in it. And he kept thinking at one point he was going to, like, put it on Lauren Michael's desk as, like, a fake bribe. And he. I think he brought it into two meetings with him and he never. He was like, no, I'm reading the room. Yeah. I'm like, he just would walk out with the br. So Lauren Michael's like, he's showing up with a briefcase. It's weird. Weird. But it was better than putting it on the table and having Lauren Michaels be, like, this bit bombed.

[Mike Bridenstine]

So you never.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That. That's the vacuum in this story. The vacuum is. It's there. People are vacating. You don't need the vacuum.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it would. Yeah, the vacuum. We've already gone past a step too far. But the vacuum is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're audible on the vacuum. You go, I brought it. I'm not using it. Yeah, it's already. I'm in a weird zone. That thing stunk more than I expected.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Immediately. Bo said, a cloud of stench explodes out of this thing and wafts through the comedy club. Brendan McGowan has said it's not unlike the Ark of the Covenant being opened in Raiders of the Lost Ark and the sounds of the conquered being killing Nazis. All of our orifices were being filled with dead possum bloat. Clark said Stanford and Sons was like a firebox up a set of stairs. Only one exit. I don't think any windows and restrooms are in the back, thank God. But there's no good air exchange in this space. It's a trap space.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, a lot of comedy clubs are. Like, there is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's part of the reason you want to be in a basement.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So it's like you need to be trapped. The worst place to release cloud of dead animals.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is. I mean, this is like the opposite of what the Ghostbusters do.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And once it hit them, all hell broke loose. Some people couldn't breathe and were coughing. Comedian Tim Gaither said people started running to the bathroom. Parrot said, yelling, oh, my God. We ran out. Like there was a fire. Porter agreed. Tables literally flipped, were lifted and flipped.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Clark said, I mean, it is. It is full pandemonium. They have fully. Yes. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

It's like someone pulled out a gun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it is. It's like people are fleeing to see that a gun has gone off.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I ran to the green room. Emory said, we barricaded it so people couldn't come through and let the smell in.

[Dave Anthony]

That's. That's the move I get. I would absolutely barricade the back door.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Everyone is freaking out. Kaspari said, people are running. Half the place clears out. They either leave or go vomit in the toilets. Oh, there's at least three people actually sick. Johnny O.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Said, so I'm betting the light goes on.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Two minutes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You have 30 left.

[Dave Anthony]

Have you ever that. That when you get hit by a smell so bad that it feels like it's stuck on you? Have you ever had that where you're just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, when we. When we had the. When we. The person on our Patreon, our buddy Luke, will eat. Eat things that people send in.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And the nor. Sometimes they vary. It's very strange. And we don't know how we got here, but one woman sent in stinky tofu, I think, from China.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we were like, whatever. And we had to pull over and, like, leave the wood. It was.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, he. He. Yeah, he took it out of the box, and we were already like, he haven't opened up the container yet. And we were just like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then he was eating it.

[Dave Anthony]

When he opened it, I almost threw up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was. Was. It was crazy. And we pulled over, and we, like, left the doors open for 15 minutes before we felt okay. So. Yes, that would be the only time.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But even then, that's.

[Dave Anthony]

But that still wasn't as bad as

[Mike Bridenstine]

what I'm talking about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Rotting.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's. It really feels like it's stuck on you and you can't get rid of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. In a good way.

[Mike Bridenstine]

No, no.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't think.

[Mike Bridenstine]

You know, at least three people were sick. Johnny O said about three rows back a pregnant. There was a pregnant woman. Both said she gets a face full of stench, runs to the restroom puking so loudly we can hear her.

[Dave Anthony]

But that could have. That could have just been. That could have just been morning sickness.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They do be the baby came out of her. Does anyone have a cooler?

[Dave Anthony]

Is that how doctors induce?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Labor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There you go, ma'. Am. Smelling salt. Welcome back. It's a girl.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And this is some distance away. Everybody else is running out of the club. Kansas City might be a fun time to mention now is also known as the city of fountains. But I'd throw throwing that back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it isn't. To whom.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's one of their many nicknames.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here we are, Chiefs, Broncos in a head to head matchup. Let's see how the Broncos move from mile high to the city of fountains. Huh? City had known for their fountains. Before we go to commercial, let's just show two of those fountains.

[Dave Anthony]

Whenever I think of Kansas City, I think beautiful fountains, barbecue and fountains. Nothing like getting your barbecue and heading down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's where people go to wash their stick sticky hands off in the city of fountains.

[Mike Bridenstine]

The pregnant woman said she didn't go back to another comedy show until Nate Bragazzi came to the city of Fountains in 2024.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Different vibe.

[Dave Anthony]

2020.

[Mike Bridenstine]

She stayed away for 23 years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How fucking if you could. If you could like, if we could Truman show her life just for to like, get to Nate Bragazzi and be like, it's very important that you throw this possum on the stage. We're trying to ruin this woman's life.

[Mike Bridenstine]

The club's manager, Ron Mearons, told me that he hated open mic night anyway and he was in his office when he heard the commotion. I just started hearing screaming. He told me, and I heard a table get knocked over. And in the time it takes to get out of my chair and jump up to see what's going on, you could already smell this dead possum going through my comedy club.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The fact that this has ended up in a book, I mean, like this guy just was like, I've got an idea. And he's created an evening to remember. The manager's like, I'll never forget it.

[Dave Anthony]

This is why if you're an open micr, you need to have an open micr friend and you need to talk to each other about what you're planning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's what I was thinking, because I

[Dave Anthony]

can't Tell you how many times, because we had. I had a Ray James, comedian in San Francisco. He has something in a bag before a show. And I'm like, what do you have? And he's just like. He was. He was disturbed. And he finally admits that he has a dead cat. And I'm like. And he's like, I'm gonna pull it out on stage. And I'm like, no, you're not. And we were just like, dude, that's insane. No one's gonna enjoy that he just found a dead cat on the fucking street.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't believe that. There were multiple people who were like, I got it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. And then he ended up. So we. We talked him out of bringing him on stage. So then he's like, I gotta do something funny with it. And we're like, no, you don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What am I gonna do? Just let life exist?

[Dave Anthony]

He put it in a newspaper box.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He did. So this guy, Kyle Paris, told comedian Emory. Emory he was going to do. He did so. And Emery. Emery had faked being in a wheelchair for two years. And Emory's like, don't do this. You're out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's another story in your book. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So he.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the one I remember you talking about.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

So he had one. He was told not to do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Guy. A guy who. Who pretended to be in a wheelchair for two years. And at his special.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, he was doing that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He stood up.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Stood up and got. And then he stood up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He was to reveal the rev after

[Gareth Reynolds]

this guy who faked.

[Dave Anthony]

But he didn't just fake it for no reason. It was a comedy experiment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Showing how crowds react to someone because

[Mike Bridenstine]

he was getting a lot of standing ovations that he was not getting as like a stand up. Stand up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. Yes. That guy was like, no. Yes.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah. Do not do. He goes, you're. You're fucking crazy is what he said.

[Dave Anthony]

The guy who faked being in a

[Gareth Reynolds]

wheelchair for two years was like, no,

[Dave Anthony]

not just to the audience. To all the other comedians.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. Yeah, that would be. I mean, really. It's just.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like Trump being like, that's disgusting.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Okay. So this guy. So this. The manager still talking. He goes, I get to the door and Kyle's still unhooking the. Toss him from.

[Dave Anthony]

What's this manager like?

[Mike Bridenstine]

This manager, according to everyone, was ticking time bomb of fury and anger.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh.

[Mike Bridenstine]

There was a lot of drugs going through the club at the time. And this guy hated Kyle. And open mic night with, like, everything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The idea that he hated Kyle already. And the open mic night. And Kyle's like, don't worry.

[Mike Bridenstine]

This guy goes on to open a club in Michigan and he purposefully does not have open mic night because of Kyle. That's so great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nah, you know how it works. A bunch of comics show up, one of them's got a possum. Pandemonium. There's always a possibility. Awesome. There's a baby, a woman. A pregnant woman that prematurely has a child.

[Dave Anthony]

But of course he doesn't like Kyle. Cuz Kyle's been coming in and jumping in pies like, yes, that's the comic you don't like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you miss those days after this. Weren't you doing pies?

[Mike Bridenstine]

Everyone who was telling me this story later kind of had like fond memories of it. Except for this manager guy. He's still very angry.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Because everyone else has a comedian mind. And this guy's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's also the difference if it's your house, if it's your house where the thing is. Yeah. But not as funny.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

That's about the time the woman vomited right in front of Mirant. He's the manager and he just saw red. According to Emory, Mirin was a ticking time bomb back. Ticking time bomb back then. Anyway, I'm not going to lie to you. Mirin told me I'm not the biggest Kyle Paris fan in the world anyway. But I lost it and I started screaming, I'm going to kill you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Put me in the cooler and bring me out in four days. Then

[Mike Bridenstine]

he comes out of the back. Bo says of Marin's, grabs me by the shirt and says, dean, get him off stage. I need him out of here. And tell him he's banned. Amazingly, while all this is happening, Paris was still fully committing to the bit, trying to make it work. He was just looking around like, but wait, there's more. Clark said so.

[Dave Anthony]

Great. Cause that's exactly how I would expect this to go with a guy like this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, you forget he's still on stage. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And he's got to do his time performing.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He doesn't. He hasn't gotten the light. You do your time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The light person threw up.

[Mike Bridenstine]

With nobody wanting to go near the stage, the comics time to get off the stage. Light was being frantically waved at Paris from the back. So Paris decided against throwing the animal against the hoop. Oh. So I talk about it earlier in the book. But he was gonna throw it through the hoop like it was a trick. Throw it up again and have it hit the ceiling. But he decided against that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So there is some level of editing.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yes, that was the only one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The vacuum was. He was like, that's good to go. But he's like, I don't know if it should do. Trick

[Dave Anthony]

People might not buy it at this point.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I might be pushing it also. Nobody's in here.

[Mike Bridenstine]

There was blood coming out of his mouth. And Paris told me. So I went straight to the ending. I picked up a pint glass and launched at the stage. And I missed his head by, I guess, barely a foot. Marin remembered. And I'm screaming, if I get to you, you're dead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

With all the chaos, the greatest show you'll ever see.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God, I did.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Don't you wish this just to be

[Gareth Reynolds]

sitting in the back? Be like, I hope he gets him. I mean, I want to see him kill him.

[Dave Anthony]

Don't you wish there were iPhones?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, it's almost worth it.

[Dave Anthony]

It's like the. It's like the video of the guy getting hit by the guitar.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Oh, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, that's.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I looked that guy up, too. Is. That's hard to find. That was in.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that is hard to find.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I was in, like, Louisiana. He's like, oh, you don't. Oh, you want to talk. And he's like, honky tonk Man Zim.

[Dave Anthony]

No, he hits. He hits the. So it's a heckler. He hits the heckler. He pulls it back, and the guitar is, like, in half. And he's like, well, he deserved it. And this lady's like, no, he didn't.

[Mike Bridenstine]

She's like, what do you. Folks. He came at me and there's like. That was unnecessary. Well, show's over.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because that's.

[Mike Bridenstine]

A guitar is smashed on a head. He came at me, folks. And they're like, no, he didn't. That's our friend. You saw him, folks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, man, you got to be 100% when you do that, that. That's gonna work.

[Mike Bridenstine]

With all. With all the chaos and carnage and flip tables, broken glass and threats of murder and actual vomit all around him. Paris said, good. What was left of the trapped or stampeded Stanford's crowd. And then he grabbed the late Mr. Jingle's paw and made it wave goodbye to the audience.

[Dave Anthony]

He. Because good for him, because he had thought of this bit in his fucking head for a long time. There's a set list always, always closing with Mr. Jingles waving. And so he couldn't not do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Goodbye, everybody.

[Dave Anthony]

Even though all this is happening, he couldn't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He committed. Have a good night, everybody. A glass got Thrown at your head and goodbye. A glass gets thrown at your head and you keep going.

[Dave Anthony]

Mr. Jingle's out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna kill you if I get my hands on you. Goodbye.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Have a good night. I had to give the cheerful goodbye. Retelling that part of the story still makes Paris chuckle all these years later. But yeah, but not necessarily at the right part. The possum's tongue was hanging out of his mouth. He laughed. He doesn't know why it's funny. And the act was over. Being as sanitary as he possibly could, all things considered, Paris dumped the dead possum corpse, as well as the towel and the gloves back in the cooler and closed it up tight. The new plan was to get the cooler, its contents, and the stench out of the club as quickly as possible. But in the process, Paris moved the mic back into stand in place for the next comedian, which, I mean, the consideration and stage etiquette in that moment is also blowing my mind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Next comedian.

[Dave Anthony]

He's a pro.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pro. Next comedian.

[Dave Anthony]

He's a pro. You put the mic back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The show is over.

[Dave Anthony]

The. As the guy leaves the mic there,

[Gareth Reynolds]

you put the mics are over.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it's not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. Should I bring up the next guy, or is the MC gonna do it? You're gonna love this next guy.

[Mike Bridenstine]

As soon as he saw me touch the mic stand, Paris said the next comic, Tom Becca, yelled out at the top of his lungs, what the is he doing? Oh, my God. And I get it. Paris said he was not thinking straight. So I knew there was blood and germs all over, kinds of. On my hands, although there wasn't. I had my gloves on, which I took off. See, it was a literally an emergency situation.

[Dave Anthony]

But Beck in there is yelling, what the are you doing? As in, you're putting the mic's tent. Yes. Like, everything's normal. And he thinks it's about the blood and guts, but it's not about the

[Gareth Reynolds]

blood about all of it. He's probably like, play. You've done enough. How tall is the next guy? I can adjust it so it's. He can do it. Okay. Whatever.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It was literally an emergency situation. Mirren said people are trying to find a way out of this comedy club by any means possible because of this. And most made it to the back entrance, which was just a back hallway to a radio station and then down to a parking garage. And that's the way Kyle decided to flee to get away from me. Paris rushed the hot cooler of death, as Clark called it, out the back of the Club people parted for me like the Red Sea, Paris remembered. He went down the back stairs, across the street, through the trash bag with the animal along with the towel and gloves, into the nearest dumpster.

[Dave Anthony]

Gareth, the dollop is brought to you by the Square. I did that really long. What is square? You asked, Gareth, because you're just a little scared, confused boy. The easy way for business owners to make payments, book appointments, manage staff, and keep everything running in one place. It doesn't matter if you're selling lattes, if you're cutting hair or detailing cars.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What if I cut lattes?

[Dave Anthony]

Are you running your own design studio?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What if I detail design?

[Dave Anthony]

Square helps you run your business without running yourself into the ground. That's what we're talking about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What if I'm cutting details?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, you can do that, too. With Square, you can do it all. But again, that's not a thing. That's not a business. We're talking about actual businesses right now. At this moment, our listeners can get up to $200 off square hardware when you sign [e-mail] go dollop. That's S Q U A R E D O T C O M S L A S H G O D O S L A S H D O L L O P. You know what? I gotta say something right now. I feel like the ad agency ran this through AI.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What makes you say that?

[Dave Anthony]

Visit square to get started. Because the right tools make all the difference. That's what I'm saying. We. You and I have used square in the past.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Use square on the road.

[Dave Anthony]

Square's been around for a long time, and square has always made things super easy. I remember when it. When it. When it came many years ago, and we were like, this is awesome. And we were using it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God, it's there at the table.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah, it was really great. You still use square sometimes, right, when

[Mike Bridenstine]

you're on the road?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. It just makes everything super easy. You can manage your day today with less stress. With Square, you can track sales, manage inventory, access reports in real time, whether you're in your shop or on the go or running through things solo. You can take payments, get paid easily like we were just talking about. It's just easy to use. One of the things that I noticed about Square was that it's just so easy. You run a business, it's a square, too. There's a lot of moving parts when you're running a bit, it is. And Square simplifies everything. Hardware looks polished, fits right into your space without feeling intrusive and the software is very straightforward, intuitive. You don't need like crazy special training. You can just set it up and,

[Gareth Reynolds]

and if you do talk to me, I can really walk you through a lot of that stuff. I'm your square guy.

[Dave Anthony]

I just said I'd know how to use.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Use it.

[Dave Anthony]

So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But if you need extra help, I'd love to have a dinner. It makes the dinner a write off. Let's just get together. We'll. I'll teach you some stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, let's do this. If, If I have dinner with you, I'm going to charge you $500. And that will run the payment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm offering you a service. And you'll pay me for the service, or I'll give it to you for free. But I'd like to do it over some dinner.

[Dave Anthony]

My service, my service to you is allowing you to eat with me. That's the service I'm providing. And then, and then $500 is what you owe me. And we'll just run it right through square right there. With square, you get all the tools to run your business with none of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I beat you up.

[Dave Anthony]

Or complexity and why wait? Right now you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com. go dollop. That's square.com. s Q U-A-R-E.com G O/D O L, L O, P. Did I say that right? D O, L, L, O, P. I

[Gareth Reynolds]

think you did, but it didn't feel like it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, right. Run your business smarter with square. Get started today.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Then he put the cooler back in the van.

[Dave Anthony]

He put the cooler.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, he's gotten a lot of mileage out of this.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, you gotta, you got to let the cooler go at this point.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't agree. I mean, you. Roadkill Moses is coming through, so let him do his thing.

[Mike Bridenstine]

The cooler was fine. Paris assured me wasn't all that bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no, Ab, if he's telling you that story, you're like, don't. You brought the beers in? No.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Meanwhile, Mirin was still trying to find and then murder Paris. I do remember Tom Becca trying to hold me back. Mirin said, I tried to chase Paris down. And I'm screaming, you are never setting fucking foot in my comedy club again. I tried to find him on the street and I did ban him for life. I've never seen Mirren's more pissed. Dean Bose said, because it created a headache for him. Like if it got out that Stanford's had this crazy comic do this Thing, the boys would not have been happy. And that would have been Craig and Jeff Glaser. They're the owners. So Ron was just trying to make sure that this didn't turn into the public. Turn into a public relations night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A nightmare also, I would think. Health code. Yeah, so there'd be a health code. I mean, you can't. Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

All of this probably happened in under three minutes.

[Dave Anthony]

That's what's insane.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's.

[Dave Anthony]

Of course, it happened really fast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a. That's a lesson in time. You can make time. Time travel is possible. He slowed down time, slowed down time after.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And still, after all of this chaos, the show somehow still went on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's crazy.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And when I asked why on earth they would continue, everyone familiar with Stanford's reacted like I just asked the dumbest question in the world. Obviously, the checks hadn't been dropped yet. Porter explained.

[Dave Anthony]

Now, does it make sense?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It does make sense. I just don't know how you. I mean, there's a break that's called a forced intermission. There is.

[Dave Anthony]

How do you get people back in? I. I would pay my. I would pay my tab at the door. I wouldn't come back in. I'd be like, just.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Can I throw my.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I think you would just be like, you got guys don't have to pay. This is what you just went through.

[Dave Anthony]

But it sounds like the owners were not those type of guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no.

[Mike Bridenstine]

There were still bills that hadn't been paid. Kaspari agreed. You're so naive, thinking the Glazers are going to stop. This thing could be on fire, but we're still getting checks to the tables.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Fire might not be a bad idea

[Mike Bridenstine]

just to burn it down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, burn it down. Cook it up a little.

[Mike Bridenstine]

After Paris is set, the staff got to working on putting things back in order. I turned the thermostat way down to try to suck all the air out that night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh. I mean, another person is about to be like, okay, so.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, that. That was weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is the end of the road. Okay. But anyway, we're gonna keep the mic going. There's just 31 comics left.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Then we opened the back store, the back door, put a fan in there. But, I mean, it was pretty horrendous. Ron was like, well, we gotta finish the show. Show Bo said. And I'm up there trying to figure out how we're going to do it. And I'm joined by, on stage by a comic named DC Young, and I believe, Keith Rainey. And we're both equipped with these industrial cans of Lysol. And we're just spraying everything down.

[Dave Anthony]

So that. That, to me, is the worst. That smell of, like, Lysol hiding a horrible smell is just the worst smell.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Lysol is also. Lysol is terrible for. Didn't Lysol start As? Like, I seriously think Lysol. I can't remember what it started as, but it's like a birth control. It's like a digital prep premise.

[Dave Anthony]

Was birth control.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Something crazy like that. Wow.

[Mike Bridenstine]

They're like, this smells pretty good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, exactly. It's like, Shanta, I took Chantix to help quit smoking once. They're like, this depression drug has people quit smoking, and then they're like, it's a quit smoking drug. Wow. But it's some weird. Like that. But it's also so terrible. Lysol is a terrible product by every metric. But even then, you'd be like, get it. Ever put it all over my body? Body.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, it was originally created to stop the spread of cholera, but by the 1920s, the company aggressively promoted the product for varied uses, including feminine hygiene.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It was like, yeah. And then everyone was like, ah, excuse me, my labia has lumps. And they were like, it's for bacteria.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's to quit smoking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's quick smoking. Use the license. Stop smoking. Okay.

[Mike Bridenstine]

About 30 minutes after Paris is set, Dean Bose was tasked with restarting the show, which he did in a hurry. I went up and I specifically said, kyle, Paris, ladies and gentlemen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is perfect. That is perfect.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And a round of applause for our Lysol gentlemen, Keith and dc. And then he brought up the next person. And there was no way that we were gonna do well in that moment. It still smells like roadkill. A knockoff brand. Lys all as well. Just the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was at a toll booth the other day. Dating is hard dating. So crazy. You ever done that on a blind date with a deaf girl? She hadn't. Oh, okay, let me just go down to the closer here.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's just this miasma that's sort of floating out there. But because Becca was a pro, he trusted him to get the room. Come back.

[Dave Anthony]

So put up your big hitter, the pro.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not happening.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, put up your big guy.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Can you imagine, man?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll tell you what, if he brought that possum out there, you could end. You could end comedy that evening. He's like, it.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He's like, I'm doing it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm actually a ventriloquist.

[Mike Bridenstine]

The stench is just sitting up still up there. Becca said. And I'M up there and I'm like gagging while I'm doing the damn thing. And I won't say that I killed, but I got at least got them focused and laughing a little bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I road killed.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Roadkill.

[Dave Anthony]

Look at you. Look at you.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Over time, patrons and comics started trickling back into the showroom from the downstairs bar. Paris members being shocked, turning to another comedian and saying, nobody left. Everyone's back.

[Dave Anthony]

That to me is the craziest thing because what is going on with that audience? Where's your self respect?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's crazy. Crazy, right? I, first of all, I wouldn't have left, but that's different. I would imagine most people.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Would leave. I mean you, you know, you talk about politics now. You see like three people. Like, we gotta get out of here.

[Dave Anthony]

But I guess there, there now is a curiosity of like, what are they

[Mike Bridenstine]

gonna do after that? How do they recover?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, how do they. Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Everyone was back. That is except for Kyle Paris. As he tried to reenter the club, he was stopped by another comic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

For what?

[Mike Bridenstine]

Oh, cause I killed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Killed. What? Wait, wait, wait, wait. What? I. I still have a minute on the clock.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He does, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, I think it a minute.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I here to reclaim my time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, I'm going to do observational stuff.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He was informed that people in the showroom had vomited, that Marin wanted him banned from Stanford's for life and wanted to murder him. They tell me his face was so red with anger that he probably would have beat the out of me. Paris said, but here's my problem.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Problem.

[Mike Bridenstine]

My vacuum was still on stage, which

[Dave Anthony]

is no longer usable. The. The. If anything in the story can no longer be used, it is the vacuum. It is a. It is in worse shape than the cooler.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think we got a four way tie. The possum, the cooler. There's a lot of stuff that dies.

[Dave Anthony]

But the, but the vacuum, it's just, it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's the thing. What? You go, you tell another comic. You go, yeah, can you get the vacuum?

[Dave Anthony]

Get the vacuum. That's all you do, go, well, when

[Gareth Reynolds]

am I going to get my vacuum? Dude, what the fuck are you talking about right now? Well, I'm not going to wait around for the show to end. If I get in my vac. Get out of here.

[Dave Anthony]

He's lucky the manager didn't take the vacuum and put it in his ass and turn it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Oh yes, the fucking vacuum. The instrument of destruction itself was left at the scene of the crime. And so Paris decided to wait until Someone could retrieve it from. For him. He sat alone outside on the back stairs of the club while his performance adrenaline dissipated and the reality of the situation slowly started sinking in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he. That's kind of what one of my questions was going to be. Is this it? It's almost like it wasn't performance art. He. He now is going that I up.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because you're gonna do. You're gonna die on that hill mentally for a while, but then you're alone in a parking lot waiting for your possum vacuum him. And you're like, all right, that wasn't good.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. It's like he's sobering up because you have that little rush, and it's gone. And I.

[Mike Bridenstine]

When he'd been on stage and in the spotlight, he didn't realize that people in the audience were getting sick. As soon as I heard that, as soon as I heard that, my heart sank. Paris remembered. And on top of that, now I know I'm banned for life, which I knew I deserved. You know, Kyle's a very sensitive dude, Porter said, and a very emotional guy, and he gets easily affected. So Ron screamed at him and yelled at him, and for someone like Kyle,

[Gareth Reynolds]

who threw a glass at his head,

[Mike Bridenstine]

threatened to murder him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Threaten to murder him.

[Mike Bridenstine]

So for Kyle, such a sweet soul, I'm sure that this was devastating. I didn't really think the possum was going to stink as bad as it did

[Gareth Reynolds]

animal.

[Dave Anthony]

There's, like, a. What? Did something die in here? There's like, a dead animal saying, like, did something die?

[Mike Bridenstine]

Who died in here? Why is it great? Hilarious and great.

[Dave Anthony]

Awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, okay. Like, he went from earth open to cooler closed to room closed. So he did. It definitely got amplified in that process, the smell. So he probably was like, look. Little stink. Funny show stopped for a half hour. Oopsie.

[Dave Anthony]

He. He really. The. The moment that I go back to is when he went out to the car bar. Instead of sniffing the outside, he should have cracked it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He sniffed. The sniffing the outside is. That's like a commercial for what coolers do.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Possum in there. I can't even smell it. Our little secret igloo. You're right. You crack it. You.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Tupperware. It can't eat that.

[Dave Anthony]

Because. Why not? Because the bit has nothing to do with smell.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your. Your trained animal is. Is dead.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Bit is not. That pregnant woman might lose it.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I knew there might be a chance. I just didn't realize how horrible the smell was going to be. He was on the corner, like, Crying. Gaither said that open mic was his whole life. And I'm like, dude, you're fine. They're not going to ban you. They say that shit all the time. The image of an emotionally shattered Kyle Paris on the back steps of Stanford's waiting for his vacuum cleaner is something that has stuck with the comics who witnessed it. After the initial version of Paris's story I heard years ago, it included. Included a part where he looks up at someone and says, I just really thought it would work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's tough.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Which is probably just a comics embellishment, but it actually seems to reflect Paris's thinking.

[Dave Anthony]

I could really. That's what I would think he would say in that moment.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Be funny if he was listening back to it, like, okay, so there's a couple tweaks.

[Mike Bridenstine]

They've given me a lot of notes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a couple notes for sure.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He was hurt. Bo said, I mean, he did not intend to do what he did. That was clear. He was absolutely kind of broken because he knew it was going to cause him problems with the club. As Paris grew increasingly distraught on the stairs, he convinced himself that his comedy career was over or that he could be in trouble legally. This was still a restaurant, after all.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

But an hour or so later, as the show was letting out, Paris could see and hear audiences members leaving Stanford's. And according to Paris, the first audience member to come outside asked, what happened to the possum guy?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, what did happen?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but not in a. Like, that guy deserves a one man show. And like, like, is he okay?

[Dave Anthony]

That's where this ends. He has a one man show that runs in Branson now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He opens for Vargazi.

[Mike Bridenstine]

That's how they got the woman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That woman goes to see it. All right, there's just a couple openers before we bring Nate out. Oh, sweet God.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Good news, bad news on the Bugatti.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How are you?

[Dave Anthony]

We have a special guest tonight. It is the baby that was in

[Gareth Reynolds]

the woman, now 20 years old. Introduce you to my friend, Mr. Jingles.

[Dave Anthony]

He's still got the exact same.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just like bones just, like, glued together.

[Mike Bridenstine]

What is this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I guess I'm. I need to retool.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's got a lot of work to go. When audience members saw Paris on the stairs, they started walking towards him, and much to his surprise, they weren't angry. They said, dude, that was awesome. Paris told me, I think that you could tell how. I think they could tell how dejected I was. This was the weirdest compliment I'VE ever gotten in my whole 25 plus year career doing comedy. People came up to me and they said, you made me vomit. But it was awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I.

[Dave Anthony]

Now I kind of get this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I also. I don't think they were doing that because he was dejected.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't either.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I think they earnestly. You.

[Mike Bridenstine]

You wouldn't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You would not go up to someone.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Audiences don't you like that. They. They to. To say that. Say it.

[Dave Anthony]

It.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

They live through the craziest experience, a

[Gareth Reynolds]

traumatic event, and they. They're like, yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Like I can't. Like they have a story to tell

[Gareth Reynolds]

that is a real.

[Dave Anthony]

Every person in that audience is telling that story today.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Some to the police.

[Mike Bridenstine]

The only guy that lit into me, Paris continued, was Tom Becca. He read me the riot act, as was his. Right. I get it. He came up to me and said, what the was that? What are you thinking? You're. You are in this town. Your career is over.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You ain't ever going. You're not. Get out of the city of fountains.

[Mike Bridenstine]

When the show was over, a comedian finally brought Paris's. His vacuum. He didn't know what to say. Paris told me before adding, that was the longest drive home after the show.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, alone 50, 50 miles, he said.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I bet he probably had the possum still in there.

[Dave Anthony]

No, he threw.

[Mike Bridenstine]

No, he threw it out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He did. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, right, right.

[Mike Bridenstine]

When Paris got home, he disinfected the cooler and the vacuum cleaner hose as best he could. And he just.

[Dave Anthony]

But it's not the hose.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's the inside of it. It's the inside.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

If that thing's ruined.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ruined. Sad, sad cleaning session.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And he just kind of went.

[Dave Anthony]

Because I actually want to see the next time he tried to clean his house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, that had to happen. You go outside, did you let it run for like an hour? Like a generator. Get that possum out of it.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And then he just kind of went on with his life. The next night, he headed back to another open mic away from Stanford's, where he was obviously the talk of the scene. I started hearing all the stories about what happened the night before. Paris said the comics were not mad at all. They were actually laughing about it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Like they were telling me stories like people vomited on the floor, slipped in their own vomit, which still makes me laugh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Someone's got to write a book about this. I don't think so. No way.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Then a comic Goes. Was that the first possum you saw on your way to the club? Justin Leon remembered asking. He said, no, I stopped at three different carcasses, but they weren't funny. They weren't funny. Paris called the club to apologize, but it didn't really help his situation with the salty GM we had to spend. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you think he had a plan for if he didn't find the right roadkill to just do a different bit?

[Mike Bridenstine]

I think he probably would have repeated a bit that he'd done before.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

About how he went on a date with blind date with a deaf man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He had time for ice. He stopped at multiple. The idea that he couldn't get. Get ice.

[Dave Anthony]

It was a ice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He just was like, I don't need it.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

It was a choice.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I would guess that someone's like, why didn't you get ice? And like, later on, he's like, I didn't have time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, you know where a place that has ice? The place where you're doing the show?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can I get a picture of ice?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes. Yes.

[Mike Bridenstine]

We had to spend a few hundred dollars trying to get the smell out. Mirin explained. There's no windows in this place and hardly anything for ventilation. We had the worst time in the world getting that cleaned. I mean, I think they brought in a service master team. Still smelled like dead possum on Wednesday.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No making that call. So we had a guy, he brought a opossum up on stage, and then he ran a vacuum through it.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Is this a open mic?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you. Sure. Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It took a good week or so to get out. Even Craig backed me. Craig is a crazy owner. That Paris was banned for life for that. Several of the comics from the scene were adamantly against the banishment, and there was a few that began pleading Paris's case to me. Mirrors. By saying how bad Paris felt about the whole thing. I did not give a. Mirrors told me, I'm going to point blank tell you. I did not care. I sat down and I told my staff and every comic down in that place, and I told them, if any one of you ever bring Kyle Paris into this club, you will never work in my club again or set foot in it. And I told my staff, if I am ever on vacation, if I ever have a day off, and I find that any of you let Kyle Paris in, you are fucking fired.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's banning. I mean, that's how you ban. That is how you ban.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that is.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Nevertheless, the comics persisted. Everybody sincerely liked Kyle, but after Only six months. Mirren's finally relented. There was no official word saying your ban is officially six months. Paris told me, but just turned out I waited for about six months to make another attempt back. Maybe half a year is enough time to pass before the angry parties can calm down. Maybe it was the fact that, I don't know, fucking 911 happened just two months after Paris is set. Probably put a few life things into perspective for everybody involved. But whatever the reason, Paris came back to Stanford in early 2002 and he returned wearing his best joke yet. When he came back, Porter told me it was a white T shirt and in marker he'd written no dead possum.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God, what a return. Holy shit. Good Lord. And then. So you. What is his perspective? I mean, is he still doing stand up?

[Mike Bridenstine]

He does. He lives in Chicago now. So I first heard this. I lived in Chicago and he moved there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And we were. Chicago was filled with crazy people. Sure. And we all looked at this guy like he was the weirdest guy we'd ever seen. Sure. And so someone, this woman, Amy Clark, moved at the exact same time as him and goes, you want to hear a crazy story about this guy? And we're like, yes. And then she told us this thing. So a lot of people were like, thought it was the greatest thing they'd ever heard.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Like, to me, it was just like these guys all. So I went back to Kansas City for the release.

[Gareth Reynolds]

City of Fountains.

[Mike Bridenstine]

City Fountains. Yeah. I had to go to City of Fountains for. For the release of the book. They all were celebrating it. He. We had him go up on stage with a little cooler and bring on a stuffed animal. And everybody was acting like it was like the greatest night of their lives.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because we just. Just hit 25 years of the 25th anniversary of this event.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yes. The only person that's still mad is Ron Mirin's the owner. But when I told him about the no dead possums thing, I heard him on the phone laughing and he goes, that's the only time I've ever laughed anything. Kyle. Paris.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is really an amazing that. Yeah. By the way, this guy would crush the social media era.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is a TikTok would be an absolute. I don't want to give him any ideas.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's not in here because Dave crossed it out. But the last line of that chapter is this woman, Andrea Kaspari, being like, can you imagine if we had, like, phones, like, to get the crowd's reaction? She goes, she's like, you've seen Matt rife. That's what she said.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That'd be fucking great.

[Dave Anthony]

And I also took out some of. Because there was a. But there was a girl there who. It was her first. First time at the. She was like, show and she didn't. She went up to after and she didn't bring it up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She has a quote in there. Yeah. She's fifth and he's third.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah. And she. So she goes up and does. She's still mad. She never addressed it. She went up. She's like, hi, I'm Andrea, and here's what's going on with me. But she never's like, what the was that? Or anything.

[Dave Anthony]

I. That. That would literally haunt me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My mom wanted me to go to college, but I made a weird choice. Choice. I decided to get into a relationship. It feels like everybody's still thinking about

[Mike Bridenstine]

the possum, but just launches into material.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Wouldn't it haunt you to this day if you had never brought it up? It would haunt me to this day if I. If that you learned even though it's your first set, like, I would still be like, I cannot believe.

[Mike Bridenstine]

What's funny about them is she. Andrea Kaspari still does comedy, and Kyle, Paris. They are literally best friends now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Really?

[Mike Bridenstine]

That situation kind of bonded. They trauma bonded together. She's like, I don't know. I just wanted to. To kind of know what was going on with this guy. And they. They call each other every day. They say, I love you, and they hang. She's married and he lives. They live in different cities.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God.

[Mike Bridenstine]

They're best friends. I ate dinner with them at a barbecue place in Kansas City.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I gotta go. You like to slow cook. I got a funny bed. You know, this is all possum.

[Mike Bridenstine]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I tried not to think about it the whole time. I tried not to picture it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are. What are some other stories that are in your book?

[Mike Bridenstine]

Well, I had the first story that I ever. The. The first show that I ever went to was Norm MacDonald at Hancher Auditorium in Iowa City. And it was built as family night. I was a teenager. I went with my mother and like, a bunch of kids, she. I had overprotective mother, and I went with these kids from high school. And Norm walked 80% of the crowd.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Like, he. He was doing like, yeah, I've done this bit so many times. Like. But he. He goes, yeah, I used to jack off to porn more than I. My wife, like, and there's like, kids and like old people there. It's like I saw this beautiful woman get by a pig. And like. And like people were just lining out. It's like, can you imagine? Like the. Like you had a, you know, director says, like, cut. And you see this woman at a bar and you ask her out. Like, she pigs for a living. Yeah. Now imagine you're the pig and director says, cut. You gotta go back to your big fat pig wife. And like, I am howling like, so that's the first standup show I ever saw. And so I'm trying to. I was in this book. I was trying to figure out, like, what is the most infamous stand up story. The guitar guy gets brought up. Kramer at or by Michael Richards at the Laugh Factory. I found out my great uncle was the guy that fired Richard Pryor. I didn't. He died before I was born. I didn't know anything about this guy. So then there's Emory Emery in the wheelchair. The owners of this club have, like, they were criminals and the guy wrote a book about, like all his crimes and then try to get a movie

[Gareth Reynolds]

made out of it.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And a lot of people died in the process of him trying to prove that he was a criminal. Like, it's just. And so to me, I was like, the Emory. Emory wheelchair thing. The Kyle Paris, like. And this also happens to be where like, Sinbad started and Eddie Griffin and Nikki Glaser. And I was like, all of these are like, super fun. I'll just make like a little book and then try to decide, like, what the most infamous standup story is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And is it all Kansas City based?

[Mike Bridenstine]

Three of them were Kansas City. So I was like, I'll just do like a little history of the Kansas City thing while I'm there. And it was. It ended up. I. I didn't do stand up in Kansas City back then. I. I knew Porter and I knew Nikki and I knew Kyle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is chapter six, the Possum. Yes, the. The wheelchair is chapter five. Have we done a full episode, Dave? Do we want to hear some of the wheelchair?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we've done. Yeah, we can't do it. If we do the wheelchair, it would be a different episode. But it's.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, so. And people can go find it on Satan's website.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Satan is on Satan's website.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's really phenomenal. And the idea that Chris Porter was there for that.

[Dave Anthony]

Isn't that funny?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I can only imagine. It's also funny how. Well, like. Like, it's funny to imagine Chris Porter,

[Mike Bridenstine]

like, he loved the guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I. Well, yeah, because he's a very sweet individual. So there's. I understand him being like, look, you don't understand. But also to just, just be like successful comedians in the room that night. Be like, jesus, bro, you doing right now, man? Yeah, well, yeah. So what, what do people just. People can look up Kansas City comedy.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Kansas City comedy. Yeah, it's. It's on the things Porter did. The, the forward to it. Very nice of him to do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Mike Bridenstine, thank you very much and thank you for having a very unique episode. But it, it deserves a place platform. It really does. So way to go. And let's. And people can use promo code Dollop. Yes, no, they can.

[Mike Bridenstine]

They probably. All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you. Thank you. Great. Hey, what's up, doll heads? This is Gareth Reynolds from the Doll up, the podcast. You're listening to. Hey, I've got some very exciting information. If you like movies and you're in the San Jose area, I made a movie. It's called Give it up and it will be at the Cynical Quest Film Festival. You can go to GiveItUpFilm.com for tickets and information. It'll be March 15th is the main screening, so go to GiveItUpFilm.Com also, if you like stand up comedy. February 4th, I'll be in Spokane, February 5th, Bend, Oregon. Then I'll be in Portland February 6th and February 7th, three shows that night. Then I'll be at flappers in Burbank, February 20th, 21st, Bakersfield, February 27th for two shows. I will be in Albuquerque, New Mexico, April 19th, Tulsa, Oklahoma, April 21st, Bricktown Comedy in Oklahoma City, April 22nd, Dallas, Texas, April 23rd, Tyler, Texas, April 24th. Finally, Houston, April 25th, two shows, Austin at the Great Cap City, April 26th, and then San Antonio April 28th and Tucson, April 29th. Garethreynolds.com for tickets and information. But also if you want to go see my movie and you're in the San Jose area, giveitupfilm.com with Verbocare. Help is always ready before, during and after your stay. We've planned for the plot twists, so support is always available because a great trip starts with peace of mind.