TPT_Ep153_MarcMaron

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds

Episode: TPT_Ep153_MarcMaron
Date: December 5, 2025
Guests: Mark Maron

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Dollop’s “The Past Times” features comedian Mark Maron as the guest. As always, hosts Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds select a random newspaper from history to discuss, improvising and riffing on the absurdities of old-time news. The episode includes the hosts’ trademark irreverence and dark humor, plus unique insights and wild tangents—this time, focusing especially on themes of comedy “beefs,” the history and perils of pole and tree sitting, family dysfunction, and some fantastic Hollywood behind-the-scenes moments. Maron’s signature candor and wit shine throughout as he joins in the improvisational roast of both history and their own contemporary experiences.

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Main Themes and Segments

Comedy Podcast Drama: Maron on Post-WTF Life and Podcast Beefs

• [00:20–05:40]
  • Mark Maron discusses life after ending his long-running podcast, noting relief and less stress.
  • He recalls igniting public drama among comedians after speaking honestly in other interviews.
  • The hosts and Maron mock Joe Rogan’s “researched” criticism of Maron, noting inaccuracies and the overblown seriousness of online comedy feuds.
  • Discussion about groupthink in comedy, comedy “tribes,” and “punching up vs. down.”
  • Notable Quote [02:40, Maron]:
    “He said I was sad, selfish, jealous... these are real surprises to a lot of my fans.”
  • Notable Quote [04:42, Maron]:
    “There was this idea of a great monoculture of free thinkers, all deciding what comedy is—because there’s so much noise coming from them, it was annoying. Completely subjective... their groupthink is at best boring.”

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Guessing the Newspaper & Albuquerque Connections

• [06:21–08:10]
  • The hosts guess the year—“August 10, 1930”—and discover it’s the Albuquerque Journal, coincidentally from Maron’s hometown.
  • Jokes about Dodger ownership, baseball camps, and American social issues quickly follow.

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Featured Newspaper Stories & Historical Hijinks

DUI Courtroom Falls and Drunken Justice

• [08:29–13:53]
  • Story of a man arraigned for drunk driving who misses his court call and later falls over in the courtroom, leading to another arrest for drunkenness.
  • Humor about the casual treatment of drunk driving and courtroom antics of the era.
  • Notable Quote [13:15, Maron]:
    “So they sobered him up to the bench... tough to be arrested in court while waiting to deal with your last arrest.”

Tree-Sitting Crazes and the Art of the Pole Sit

• [24:11–49:53]
  • The gang finds a series of articles about 1930’s “tree-sitting” competitions: children vying to spend the longest time in trees for prizes like a bicycle, spurred by business sponsorships.
  • Absurdities discussed: logistical challenges (buckets for waste, sandwiches tossed to kids), health consequences, and intervention by prizefighters and local oddballs (“Dynamite Tommy Sanchez”).
  • Analogies to modern social media “challenges.”
  • Notable Quote [26:00, Maron]:
    “Back then you were like, ‘whoa, yeah, school’s out—I’m heading up into the tree.’”
  • Discussion on the darker side: kids getting hurt, grown men rubbing down kids (played for dark comedic effect).
  • Repeated bits about how actual parents and townspeople viewed such spectacles.
  • Hilarious speculation on how such events would play today.

Old Hollywood & Dysfunctional Family Anecdotes

• [13:53–23:27]
  • Dave shares stories of his drunken lawyer father appearing in court intoxicated, leading to tales of family dysfunction.
  • Maron tells of disputes with his own father, including being asked for $100,000 as “reparations” for stories in his memoir, and how his father’s dementia alleviated their past tensions.
  • Notable Quote [17:27, Maron]:
    “There’s a cure for bipolar and it’s dementia.”
  • Both riff on how family drama often blends with comedy, sometimes literally on stage or in their creative work.

More Wild News: Repo Evasion, Dueling Mishaps & Drug Denials

• [21:32–54:22]
  • East St. Louis man successfully evades furniture repo men by faking a smallpox quarantine—until his wife reveals the ruse.
  • Details of a botched duel in Mexico where bystanders are shot while the duelists miss each other entirely.
  • A Hollywood drama: starlet Mary Nolan is accused of being a drug addict after being found sunburned and with “puncture marks”—the hosts lampoon the era’s whitewashing of celebrity scandals (“That’s just or-on, taking the boat out!”).
  • Notable Quote [53:01, Reynolds]: “Were there any signs of drug abuse? ...I haven’t heard any yet—getting a third degree burn in a rowboat?”

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Hollywood Writers’ Room Antics (Mark Maron’s Show “Maron”)

• [35:07–41:34]
  • Maron and Anthony dish on the real behind-the-scenes dysfunction during the making of “Maron” for IFC.
  • “Shit bucket” plotlines, Dave’s focus and dominance in the writers’ room, Dave writing himself into more episodes.
  • Actor Michael Lerner’s notorious behavior on set, including “borrowing” everything and using the bathroom in inopportune places.
  • Sally Kellerman’s decline and the looming presence of eccentric character actors.

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Closing Banter and Promotion

• [55:57–57:33]
  • Maron plugs his special “Panicked” and the Apple TV series “Stick.”
  • The hosts beg for roles and riff on the idea of being “Dynamite” extras or masseurs.
  • Notable Quote [57:13, Reynolds]:
    “Mark, I’m 45—I’ll do literally anything you ask me to at this point. I just want to hold my insurance for as long as possible, so I’ll eat ass. You just tell me where to go, buddy.”

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Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Attribution and Timestamps)

• Maron (on Rogan feud):

  • “He said I was sad, selfish, jealous... these are real surprises to a lot of my fans.” — [02:40]
  • “There was this idea of a great monoculture of free thinkers, all deciding what comedy is... their groupthink is at best boring.” — [04:42]

• Reynolds (on smallpox repo):

  • “It’s just like a woman.” — [22:02]
    (in mock 1930s chauvinism, riffing on the style of the period’s reporting)

• Anthony (on family dysfunction):

  • “My dad would show up to court drunk, yeah... so hammered, the judge was like, ‘you know, we’re gonna continue this till tomorrow because your attorney is just shitfaced.’” — [13:53]

• Maron (on his father):

  • “There’s a cure for bipolar and it’s dementia.” — [17:27]
  • “He’s just a sweet little sponge of a man now.” — [17:41]

• Maron (on childhood injuries):

  • “Imagine...walking with a limp your entire life because you almost had the record for sitting on a pole.” — [49:10]

• Maron (on writing for TV):

  • “There was a shit bucket with a toilet seat attached to the top. That was one of Dave's great contributions to the show. That's how he saved the show.” — [35:27]

• Anthony (on being an extra):

  • “I just want to hold my insurance for as long as possible, so I'll eat ass. You just tell me where to go, buddy.” — [57:13]

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Key Timestamps

• 00:20 – Podcast beefs and Maron’s post-WTF life
• 04:40 – Comedy monocultures, groupthink
• 13:53 – Dave’s stories about his drunken dad in court
• 17:27 – Maron on his father’s dementia and their relationship
• 24:11 – Tree sitting competition, kids in trees: origins and logistics
• 35:07 – Maron and Anthony on writers’ room shenanigans (“shit bucket,” Michael Lerner)
• 49:53 – Aftermath for children after tree sitting and injuries
• 53:01 – Drug accusations and hilarious sunburn rowboat defense
• 57:13 – Closing banter on getting acting gigs, “eating ass,” and holding insurance

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Tone and Style Notes

The episode is raucous, irreverent, and at times gleefully dark. The hosts and Maron relish roasting both history and their own foibles, with long stretches of improvisational bits riffing off minor historical news stories. Family dysfunction, Hollywood behind-the-scenes gossip, and the futility (but also hilarity) of both 1930s records and modern “comedy beef” all receive uproarious treatment.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode:

If you enjoy comedic tangents, dark family histories, and a post-mortem on both podcast culture and old-time newspaper oddities, this episode delivers. Highlights include Maron’s unfiltered stories about his family and Hollywood, wild speculation about tree-sitting injuries, and callback-laden riffs that jump from Ivermectin jokes to Depression-era sporting events. “The Cown and Two Cranks” is not just an alt title—it perfectly captures the anarchic dynamic of the hour.

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Transcript

[A]

Welcome to the Past times. It's a podcast. You know me, I'm the funny guy. Each week we go through a newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I, Gareth Reynolds, have never seen it, and neither has this week's guest, the great Mark Maron.

[B]

Mark, thank you. Thank you.

[A]

Here we go.

[B]

Are we. Is it happening?

[A]

It's showtime.

[B]

It's a pleasure to be here with the. The Clown Crank.

[C]

You're the other crank.

[A]

What a great title for alt title.

[C]

The Clown and Two Cranks. At this point.

[A]

Alt title for everything we do.

[B]

A Clown and two Cranks. That's a structure every morning radio show.

[A]

Wow. The Clown and the Crank is very good. Honestly. Are you more excited to do podcasts now, Mark, since you stopped doing yours? Or is it still just you'd rather not be doing?

[B]

Is something that I couldn't want to do less and. Yeah, but I find my. Well, I mean, look, I. It's odd to not have a podcast, but it's surprisingly relaxing.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, I can't imagine.

[B]

Yeah. And I don't. I don't mind. I don't mind showing up on other people's podcasts. I did a round of them for a while and then started a massive amount of shit everywhere.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

All the way up to King Rogan, who decided to criticize me for talking shit about comics and then talk shit about me for an hour. It was really something.

[A]

Don't think that we haven't been gleefully watching the way you went with a flamethrower. It was awesome.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Going down shooting, I guess.

[A]

Yeah. But then. But then once you were done, then he started firing shots when you no longer had a cannon.

[C]

It's very funny when. Yeah, it's very funny when the. When they all start talking shit after you've signed off. Very brave.

[A]

After the day after was the day where he's like, you know what? I'm actually going to be honest about Mark.

[C]

Very brave.

[A]

But no, you were. I mean, you were cooking. And a lot of. I mean, some of, like, where he started teeing off a little bit was where your special panicked. You'd have the bit about Theo, which was just hilarious. And then that funny bit. Yeah, great bit.

[C]

What?

[A]

The whole special is great. Everyone should go watch.

[C]

But what happened to busting balls? It's like what comics have always done. You bust someone's balls.

[B]

But the funny thing is that Joe, in the middle of his, you know, strangely. Yeah. The funny thing was about that was that he did research. You Know, it was not, like, off the cuff. Like, he took some time.

To go through the history of me and.

[A]

And look.

[B]

And some of it, like, oh, he said I was, you know, sad. He said I was, I think, selfish. He said I was jealous. You know, these are. These are real surprises to a lot of my fans.

[A]

Yeah, it's tough to hear.

[C]

But.

[B]

But, you know, the only thing that upset me is, like, some of the research was off and, you know, which is indicative of people who do their own research in general. But, like, I got. I got upset with some of the facts because they were not. They were not real. Everything he said, that's fine, but a couple of the facts were off.

[C]

I mean, that's pretty much Rogan show at this point. I mean, one of the. One of the things he brought up was, like, talking about vaccines at, like, the store. Shit. It was just all nauseous.

[A]

I did look it up. Mark has one of the lowest Ivermectin rates of audience members of a Tory comedian. I mean, that is true. I don't know if you want to respond to that, but.

[B]

Well, I don't think I was doing it right. I just. You're just supposed to put in cereal or something. I don't know if I was doing it right.

[A]

Are you eating Ivermectin now? Is that what you're starting off with? Is this kind of a everyday snack?

[B]

There's no reason why. I don't know. It's like statin, you know, you just. Yeah, everyone's on it and everyone.

[C]

You don't need a intestinal lining. It's totally.

[B]

No, usually I just do like a. I shake up. Like, I just did my protein drink with the protein powder, creatine and Ivermectin.

[A]

Great.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. And you talk about how there's no moon landing. Yeah, I get it.

[B]

There is no landing. I don't know.

[A]

There wasn't a movie.

[B]

Didn't she. Didn't you see Capricorn1? That's a factual movie.

[A]

A lot of. A lot of movies that we think are just written are actually documentaries. Yeah, but no, I did. I. Honestly, Mark, like, the way that the. The level of honesty that you were just throwing out there was so refreshing, and I think so many people were like, oh, my God. You just kind. Yeah, I think the whole. This all did need a calling out, and I don't know, I just loved watching it. And I think a lot of other people did, too.

[B]

But my basic problem is, like, look, whatever my problems are with, you know, certain Comics in terms of what they do like that I still believe, you know, you can do whatever you want. But there was this idea that there was this large tribe, the great monoculture of free thinkers where, you know, deciding what comedy was or what good comedy is. And because there's so much, you know, noise coming from them, it was just starting to be annoying because it's completely subjective and their group think on it was, you know, at best boring.

[A]

Yeah, I agree. I also think there's a huge difference between where you want to punch and, and punching up. Let's go. But I think to what you were saying, it's sort of like this level of sort of punching down and fighting for the R word and all this other stuff has just become so fucking stupid. So anyway, the thing is you went out when like a champ.

[B]

When the person, when the person you're bullying is crying and saying okay, okay, that's usually when you stop as.

[C]

That's right.

[B]

If, if you're a professional bully. Yeah.

[C]

But if that's all you have in your quiver, then that's all you have in your quiver. They don't have any other. Yeah, like what are they going to do? Some interesting thought provoking comedy.

[A]

Well, not enough comedians are using Quiver the edge. I think right off the bat, you know, quivers around. Not enough.

[B]

There's an app called quiver that most people are using.

[A]

Yeah, no, I think Dave's been brave with the quiver stuff lately.

[C]

Yeah, a lot of quiver stuff.

[A]

Well, anyway, Mark, thank you for being here. And we're going to go through an old newspaper. I know it doesn't sound exciting. That's because it isn't. But how old? Well, that's what we're going to guess right now, Mark, you get to start with the guess of what year you think you could guess blindly as to what year you think this paper could be from. It's probably not going to be from the 1600s or probably 1800s or 1900s.

[B]

That's what I'm thinking.

[C]

Random guess. Random guess.

[B]

1907.

[A]

Oh, I'll guess. August 10th, 1930.

[C]

You're wrong. It's August 10th, 1930.

Did someone tell you what it was?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You looked at it?

[A]

No, Preston sent it to me. See, Mark, Dave's been screwing me over in the guessing game for a long time.

[C]

Last episode I won.

[A]

But because you were mad because the guy was a Dodgers fan. This is the crank.

[B]

Mark, you don't like the Dodgers. I should know.

[A]

Mark, don't. Mark, don't do this. Mark, let's not even Mark. Mark, heel.

[C]

Look, I don't.

[B]

I don't even know what they just won. So I'm the wrong guy.

[A]

It doesn't matter.

[C]

They won the World Series.

[A]

It doesn't matter.

[C]

The owners.

[B]

That's the big one.

[C]

The owners. Owners funding the camps that they're sending the immigrants to. So I'm not a big fan. Really.

[A]

I told you.

[B]

Is he then training them for baseball?

[A]

Yeah, they're training camps. It's a lot of cone drills.

[C]

You take the money that you make off of immigrants for a dollar a day in a camp, and then you. You can use that money to buy players to play baseball. I can't.

[A]

Clown.

[B]

Or maybe they're looking for pitchers, you know?

[A]

See, the crank is here.

[C]

It's true. It's possible. Yeah.

[B]

All right.

[C]

August 10, 1930. The Albuquerque Journal.

[B]

That's where I grew up.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

That's probably why this happened.

[B]

You just.

[C]

I've been to Albuquerque. It's. You know.

[B]

But did you, like. Did you plan this because you knew. Mark's from Albuquerque? Let's pull from where he grew up.

[C]

That's what happened. Yeah. Yeah. No researcher did that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No, our researcher.

[A]

Yeah. It is true.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I mean, it's the minimal catering we do.

[C]

Okay. He f. He falls into bad luck two times a day. His bond of 130 for drunken driving is forfeited. Then he falls on the courtroom floor. That's a good headline.

[A]

When. When did driving drunk become illegal?

[C]

I mean, 90s.

[B]

Can I hear that headline again?

[C]

Yeah. He falls into bad luck two times a day. His bond of $130 for drunken driving is forfeited. Then he falls on the courtroom floor.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

It might not be his bottom at all. No, he'll drive.

[B]

And he's right back at it, that guy.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, they're just falling down in court. That's not. That's. That' not a crime. That's not a bottom.

[A]

That's not a crime.

[B]

There was nowhere to send them at that time. I think AA was pretty new. So they just sort of waited it out and then gave him his keys back.

[A]

Well, this is before we had Dodger camps where we could send the problematic citizens. Right, Dave?

[B]

Yeah, that's right.

[C]

I'm surprised. I'm surprised driving drunk is illegal at this point.

[A]

That's what I mean. I feel like it took us a while to be like, wait a minute. I mean, these guys are crashing a lot.

[C]

People like. It didn't. Not until the mid-80s, where people like wow. We shouldn't be doing this this much.

[A]

What a run.

[C]

The effort of van Gleason from 1027 N. Sixth St. To do the right thing got him deeper in trouble. In police court Monday afternoon arraign on a charge of drunken driving. Monday morning, Van gleason posted a $130 bond for appearance at the afternoon session, but failed to answer when his name was called. At the time the bond was in forfeited.

He was sleeping. He was out.

[A]

That's my name.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

These guys are talking about me.

[C]

That's a rough.

[B]

Where's my shoes?

[A]

Yeah. What the hell?

[C]

As the courtroom cleared at the close of the session, Van Gleason was seen solemnly sitting at the end of the bench.

[A]

Oh, he's just like we was. He just didn't know where he was. He's like, this is a weird church.

[C]

He had remembered that. He had remembered he was supposed to be there for some reason or another.

[B]

Ah.

[A]

To know you're supposed to. This is like a nightmare.

[C]

Oh, God.

[B]

Now I know why I'm here.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Imagine that. Probably maybe one of those guys who's so drunk that you, like, black out, but you come to and you're still just like. You're still just somewhere.

[A]

Those are the worst.

[B]

How did I get here? Yeah, no idea.

[A]

Yeah, someone's just referencing something.

[B]

I remember nothing while the car was moving.

[A]

What is happening?

[B]

And I wake up here.

[C]

Junk again. Declared Chief Pat o' Grady after one look. Let's see you stand up. Oh, that's rough.

[A]

Well, the ultimate test.

[B]

But it's interesting, back in the day, they did the sobriety test at the courthouse. It was not at the. At the traffic stop. Yeah, they just.

[A]

That would be great. Oh, that would get me back. I would be going. I always think that whenever you watch those court shows, like, the people are just hanging out, watching. That would get me in there.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Just chilling.

[C]

The Q started to obey, but made a slight mistake of starting backward instead of upward.

[A]

I don't think that's possible.

[C]

It is. So you push. You push with your feet, but. But you go, whoa. And you go backwards.

[A]

That's called fall. He fell over.

[C]

He's falling backwards. Yeah, he fell. Wow.

[B]

That. So they actually said falling backwards was starting standing backwards?

[C]

Yeah.

Yeah.

[B]

I guess he had a word count, that guy.

[A]

Yeah, That's a perfect excuse. You fell over. I started falling backwards.

[B]

I started standing backwards.

[A]

I started standing backwards.

[C]

The long bench tipped back, and as.

[A]

We dipped the whole bench.

[C]

And as the struggles Van Gleason overbalanced it. One end went down and the other.

[B]

Up like a seesaw.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He was another drunk on the other side to keep the game going. Yeah, that's right.

[A]

We flank him on the bench.

[C]

He was deposited on the floor in front of. Deposited the magistrate who had been halted on his way out by the strange proceedings. There's another charge against this man now, said the magistrate, Van Gleason was booked for drunkenness in court and taken to a downstairs cell to regain his compos for their parents attempt Tuesday.

[A]

That's tough.

[B]

So they suffered him up to the bench.

[A]

Yeah, it is tough to be arrested in court while waiting to deal with your last arrest, but that's a pretty.

[C]

Great way to go to court.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All while. All while still being drunk.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[B]

But wait. This guy was so hammered, they got him into the squad car, into the courthouse, and he was still up. He up the bench. They let him dry out, and then they're going to bring him back in.

For another charge of property damage because the.

[A]

I don't think you could be arrested twice in one day. I don't think that that should not be legal. That feels like double jeopardy to me. But, Dave, your dad used to show up to court drunk, right?

[C]

My dad would show up to court drunk, yeah. So he had the. He went. He had. He liked to drink lunches. And he. I should say, he's a lawyer.

[A]

And dead.

[C]

And dead. And he. He went to court after having one of his lunches and was so hammered, the judge was like, you know, we're gonna continue this till tomorrow because your attorney is just shitfaced.

[A]

Really triggers a lot.

[B]

You got that right. Let's do it now. We're here to party.

[A]

You imagine your public defender is hammered. You're like, what the. No, I had a low bar.

[C]

But what can I appeal now?

[A]

Yes. Shut up. He didn't have that.

[C]

He was probably just like. So you want to go get a pop?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Let's just finish this day, dude. What kind of lawyer was your dad.

[C]

Drunk as a defender? He started out, he was at first a deputy district attorney and then he switched to defense. He was just like a ambulance chasing guy at the end.

[B]

Oh, really?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was bad. He was a bad lawyer. He had so many. He had all the complaints against him and like it was. Yeah, it was. If you went and looked.

[B]

And when did the problems with you two start?

[A]

Yeah, that's a good question.

[C]

When I was on Marin.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[C]

No.

[A]

Wow. How dare you.

[C]

The Problems between us started when I was. When I was 20.

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, but didn't he write you a letter to realize.

[A]

Didn't he write you a letter about Marin or something? Or am I crazy?

[C]

He. He wanted. I went on Mark's show, and a lot of it was about my dad, and he contacted Mark because he wanted to rebuttal.

[A]

Oh, my God, Mark. One more episode.

[B]

Well, I said that would be fine if he could sober up for the appearance. And it's just. I never heard back from him.

That was the last I heard from him. It was too much to ask.

[A]

Yeah, well, he's in the ground now, but he's getting drier. He's finally drying out.

[C]

He comes.

[B]

That was. That was, I think, the day. We refer to the day Dave was happy, the day the happiness started.

[A]

I texted Dave that day and I go, I'm really sorry, man. And he goes, you killed him. I was like, he just died. No bits for a day, dude. No.

[C]

He did the same thing with Sickler. I think he reached out to Sickler after I did Sickler's podcast and did the same. Like, there's a lot of lies in there. I would like to correct the record.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Did Sickler tell him to file a brief?

My dad. My dad, after he read the book, after he read the Attempting Normal book, his whole side of the family got so, so mad at me. And I honestly gave no shits about it. And my dad was furious about how, you know, about stuff I said about him in the book. And I said, what do you want, money? And he goes, yeah, how much?

I said, how much money do you want? And my dad goes, 100,000 dol. I said. I said, I'll send you five.

[A]

Did he take it?

[B]

Yeah, I sent it to him. And they said, we're not going to cash it, but they cashed it.

I'm okay. I'm okay with my dad now because it turns out there's a. There's a cure for bipolar and it's dementia.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You've got some great stories about your dad.

[C]

Yeah, I saw your picture.

[B]

Leveled him right out. Just a sweet little sponge of a man now.

[C]

That's amazing.

[A]

That is so funny.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

He's still got fire in his belly, but it only lasts about 40 seconds at a time.

[A]

That doesn't make sense.

[C]

And then he turns and goes, oh, are you.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. He's not. He's not at the who are you Yet. It's kind of amazing because it's been a while, but he's he still knows who I am.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Was I mad at you?

[B]

No, he's not mad at me. He's very. He's very in awe and very proud and loves me.

[A]

Well, now you can tell him you sent him the hundred grand.

[B]

Yeah. What'd you do with that hundred grand? I thought it would go further.

[A]

Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot about that.

[B]

No, they. They do start to say very interesting things because their brain's a little mushy and there's no filter. So out of nowhere, like, the other day, he said, you know, all white immigrants smell bad. And I didn't even know what to do with that.

It was such a new twist on.

[A]

What do you. What do you say? Do you agree?

[B]

Are you, like, peculiar, Peculiar take on racism?

[A]

It might be time for Stand up. That's a pretty good opener. That line's like.

[B]

It was great. He goes, you know, he goes, life is tough, and if you make too much out of it, it's tougher.

He says, there's. There's things you really need to forget. And I'm like, all right.

[A]

Oh, my goodness.

[B]

Well, that's working out for you.

[C]

Yeah, that's perfect.

[A]

This is very close. Deep thoughts?

[B]

Yes. No, they're very good. He said one time, he says. He says, out of nowhere, he goes, you got to take the consequences or make your own, Mike. Holy shit.

[A]

Is he kind of just becoming like. Like a fortune cookie, almost like you're just like. That's actually pretty good.

[C]

It's like a thought for the day calendar at this point.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, exactly. I just say I got to go out there and keep him going with them.

[C]

All right, next one.

[A]

Ye Garrett.

[C]

The Pastimes is brought to you by Aura Frames.

We are Aura Frames users. So I have an aura frame that I gave to my mom, and I can send her pictures. It's awesome.

[A]

To your parents, your grandparents, whatever. You seem like a time traveler. Yeah, it's that good. You know, we're talking about people who came up in the. Like, put the pictures in your wallet. Time. So this is future stuff.

[C]

I mean, it's the perfect gift because.

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You load the pictures up, you show them how to do it. I mean, the aura frames, the way it works is that you put a bunch of pictures in there, and they just keep rotating to them.

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Yes.

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In the past 10 years, it's my mom's favorite gift that I've given her.

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Yeah. I'll be honest. It's one of those gifts where it makes it seem like you really did a lot.

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Okay. Till's wife tongue slipped.

[A]

Okay. Tells wife tongue slipped.

[C]

Okay, Till.

[A]

Okay. Till. Okay.

[B]

So his wife said something.

[C]

Yeah. They don't want to use his first name because okay sounds better.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

An East St. Louis man who was about to lose his furniture because of non payment outsmarted collectors.

[A]

That's a turn of phrase back then. He's about to lose his furniture, Right?

[C]

Yeah. He's furious because of non payment outsmarted collectors. Until his wife's tongue slipped.

[A]

It's just like a woman.

[C]

This is exactly what my wife would do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The couch is in the garage.

[A]

No. Jesus Christ.

[B]

The chairs are in the yard and back.

Idiot.

[C]

The man, after learning that his furniture was to be taken, applied for a smallpox placard saying his children were ill. Oh, my God.

[A]

So it's like a fake vax card but for smallpox.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You would just put a little card out front that said, you know, small.

[B]

Box in the house.

[C]

In the house. Yeah. And then people wouldn't go in.

[A]

Would you ever shout it into a microphone before a show?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Smallpox.

[B]

There's smallpox all over the bed, the.

[A]

Rug, these couches, table. Oh, you guys take them. They're real poxy, though.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Rolling around in them.

[B]

Suit yourselves.

[C]

Good luck.

[A]

They don't have smallpox, Grace.

[C]

Oh, so you actually had to apply for it? Like you couldn't just put one up? The application was granted and the placard was in turn posted in front of the house.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[C]

So he got to lie about.

[B]

It's the slowest repo company I've Ever heard of door? And the guy's like, hold on, I'm applying for a smallpox placard. Could you come when the pony delivers it?

[C]

Sure, yeah, we can do that.

Collectors failed to go in. Finally, however, the man's children were found playing in the street and the wife was asked for an explanation. Ah, the children aren't sick. We just placed the sign in front to frighten off collectors.

[A]

Oh, my.

[C]

Yeah, the whole plan.

She's not good at the plan. She's not good.

[B]

Well, at least she was being honest. And that's not nothing.

[A]

Well, it's not great right now. I mean, that's not going to give you a chair.

[C]

Yeah, the kids. The kids got nothing to sit on.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, I love honesty, but. Good Lord.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

We don't have a table to eat off of.

[C]

You gotta take that one.

[B]

That's a good story.

[A]

Yeah, it feel good. It just shows America's always had like, good instincts.

[C]

That's right. And Americans tree sitting record comes to city today.

Charles Walker at 1pm will reach 431 hour. Mark. What crown now held by a Texas.

[A]

Lad to sit in a tree.

[C]

431 hours. Hours over four days in a tree.

[A]

Street. I'm pretty good at math, Mark.

[C]

I'm terrible at math.

[A]

It is over four days.

[C]

It's definitely over four days.

[B]

If that would have happened today, it would have been, you know, heralded as David Blaine's most amazing feat.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Or a protest.

[B]

Tree sitter.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But at four. At a year. That's a year. That's over a year. He's in the tree. Or is it hours?

[C]

No, 431 hours is okay. Okay. Like, it's like, what? But this was so there was a period where adults sat in did pole sitting and then, and then kids started doing it.

[A]

It's a hell of a time.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

There was so it's a. It's a. It's, It's. It's almost 18 days, which is a.

[C]

Long time for a kid to be in a tree.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But like, it's not even like, you know, the first few days it's like, wow. But by a week, people are like, oh, he's still up there. It's ridiculous.

[A]

Yeah, no, it is. It becomes a problem.

[C]

It does become a problem. Yeah. What are we gonna do? Albuquerque Boy tree sitters. That's not Albuquerque Boy tree sitters. With the added inspiration of a bicycle as a prize for the winning local.

So some business was like, okay, we'll give a kid a free bike for whoever can stay up the pole the longest. And so all these kids are trying to win the bike by sitting up. So it's a company behind it. And everyone's like, yeah, makes sense.

[B]

What a way to spend this summer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Back then you were like, whoa, yeah, yeah, school's out. I'm heading up into the tree.

[A]

And if your parents, I mean, that is a dream for parents. Like, it's better than camp. You're like, we can go check on him.

[C]

Although you're worried your kid's gonna fall.

[A]

Out of the tree, you just toss a sandwich up there every couple days.

[B]

Throw the sandwich up.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Well, the kid who won fell out of the tree and he couldn't use the bike. So it was a sad story. Where's the follow up story?

[A]

Well, it's a little depressing.

[C]

They continued tree sitting Sunday without any break in the monotony. Charles Walker, 14, will reach 431 hours at a new world's record. If he is still atop his perch at 421 Luna Boulevard at 1 o' clock Monday.

Three others up. The record of 430 hours is held by Doral Gaither of El Pa. At least that is the longest record now known of. Known of. Gaither was reported to have descended at the end of 402 hours. Wait. @ the request of El Paso health.

[A]

Officers. Oh, wow. They did a health check, but.

[C]

It took more than 18 hours to dislodge him from his purge. So he wouldn't come.

[A]

Down. So they dislodged.

[C]

Him. I wonder how they did.

[A]

That. I mean, they probably just grabbed.

[C]

Him, threw water at him.

[A]

Or. Yeah.

[C]

Lure. Put a hose on.

[B]

Him.

[A]

Sure. Hose them out of the.

[C]

Tree. Three other local tree sitters, Lewis Mira, Adam Carragher and Henry Gallegos, were reported to still be resting in their arbor abodes late Sunday. So there's kids all over the town up in.

[A]

Trees. I don't hate it. I also like the term arbor.

[C]

Abode.

[A]

Sure. Way.

[B]

Better. And also, at least you know where your kid.

[A]

Is. Yeah, you can just go check on him. I mean, that would be ideal. That, like, I've never wanted to be a parent, but I could pull off a tree.

[C]

Kid. You're worried your kid's gonna fall out of the.

[A]

Tree? No, I'm.

[C]

Not. Crack his.

[A]

Head. No, I'm like going over there. Yeah. Throw up a bag of chili every few days. Toss him a.

[C]

Gatorade. There would be emulator. The adult flagpole sitter, Duke Neil, has yet failed to take his seat Atop the pole he had especially erected for himself in front of the Heights dance hall on Central.

Avenue. So this guy put up a poll and everyone's waiting for him to go up, and he's just not going up. Probably the other kids are getting the attention right now. So why would you do it while.

[A]

They'Re. Yeah, it's different when you're a.

[B]

Man.

You don't want to be the second guy up the tree after the other guy's been up there a long.

[A]

Time. No. Well, yeah, like someone killed before you and you're like.

[B]

No. Oh, my.

[C]

God. Oh, wait. Neil twice attempted to scale the 80 foot pole Saturday evening and erect his seat at the top, but failed in both attempts.

[A]

Temps. Oh, so he can't even get up.

[C]

There. He can't get. He announced that he would climb up Monday evening and take his position. 80 foot's a pretty tall pull to. No shimmy.

[B]

Up. What the. How old are these kids? I mean, what do.

[C]

You. This isn't this. No, this is an adult now. Now we're talking about the adult who's gonna.

[B]

Go. I wish it was still nothing from the first.

[A]

Story. Well, that. Now that state. You're not allowed to do that. There were.

[C]

Laws. That should be the fad. Drunk guys going ball.

[A]

Sitting. Yeah, she's a lot of guts on the.

[C]

Street.

Neil had two close calls near the top of his pole Saturday. Once he was compelled to drop a bucket of paint he was applying to the pole in order to keep him from falling. What? Yeah, he's painting it to stop from falling. No, he. He would. He had to drop the bucket or else he was gonna.

[A]

Fall. Oh. But I guess the idea. Why would you paint.

[B]

It? Is that part of the thing? I mean, is that. Is that the incentive to get up the pole? Is it like, you know, you gotta paint the pole all the way to the top and sit there, make it your own.

The paint's kind of a non sequitur. They just threw that.

[A]

In. It's a bit.

[B]

Strange.

[C]

Yeah. Or maybe it wasn't a paint bucket. Maybe it was a bucket. And they just didn't say.

[A]

That. It's.

[B]

Paint. Don't.

[A]

Worry. It's just brown.

[B]

Paint. That adds a whole other dimension to it. Where these guys taking a dump, they're just sort of. Everybody, look away, look.

[A]

Away. Promise. Cover your.

[C]

Eyes. They did. They crapped in buckets and hoisted it down and they peed in a tube that went all the way down to.

[A]

The. Oh, my God. But they.

[B]

Just. And there was just people rallying around this, like just.

[C]

Yeah. You know, people loved it, watching. Because it's 1930. There's nothing to do. So come on, we're going to the, we're going to the pole guy.

[B]

He. There's a whole list of depression era sporting events that aren't.

[C]

Very. Honestly, there was a guy, there was a guy that walked backwards across the US and, and the whole town. Towns came out when he came through and they're like, here he.

[A]

Comes. That I get though that literally if I, if they were like, there's a guy who's walking backwards, he's gonna be in your town. I'd be like, I will go check it.

[C]

Out.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I'm sure he's just.

[B]

Like, it's a pretty, pretty small time investment. Yeah. It's like 10 minutes. There he goes.

Into the.

[A]

Hills. It's just in absolute agony.

I'm doing.

[B]

Fallon.

So you walked across the country.

[A]

Backwards?

Oh man, I can't even believe.

[C]

That. Why you do.

[A]

That? That be so crazy. I walk forwards and I'm.

[C]

Tired.

The other time, a rope around himself and the pole broke and he slid from the top of the pole to the base, but was uninjured.

The poll.

[B]

Broke. Oh my.

[C]

God. So he's not good at.

[B]

It. So where's the lawsuit for that? Yeah.

[C]

Right. Whoever let him put the poll up, like whoever the business, the business. Businesses would hire people to sit in a poll in front of their business to attract.

[A]

Customers. It really is.

[C]

Remarkable. It was a better.

[A]

Time. Now you got to have an Instagram. Times are different.

[B]

Huh? Okay, this is the Instagram of the pole sitting. Oh my.

[A]

God. I'm down to just start pole sitting again.

[C]

Again. So Preston put, Preston put in a follow up the next day. Oh, Charles Walker comes down off tree perch. Says he got tired sitting after breaking.

[A]

Record. He did a.

[C]

Day. No, he.

[A]

Did. Oh, he did the.

[C]

Full. He did the. He's the one that did the.

[B]

Four. 19.

[A]

Days. 31.

[C]

Okay. He did 432 and a half hours.

[A]

Aloft.

[C]

Yeah. After 432 and a half hours aloft, or 18 days and one and a half hours. Charles Walker, 14, Albuquerque's first boy tree sitter, descended to Earth at 3:30 o' clock in Monday afternoon.

[A]

Descent. He didn't come from space, he descended to earth. I mean.

[B]

Honestly.

Was it previously a woman's.

[C]

Sport? No.

No, no, it was men, but women started doing it and everyone's like, what are we doing.

[A]

Now? Well, I, I don't mind coming out. Who's gonna crack I am opposed to that. Yeah. It's disgusting. I mean, they'll get hurt. Their wombs will explode. You know how it.

[C]

Works. Yeah. The higher up a woman goes into tree, the more her womb's, biologically.

[A]

Speaking.

Now she takes.

[C]

Ivermectin. The lad climbed from his perch and astonished his mother by walking straight to the bathtub. Oh. Because she's like. She's like, he never wants to take a bath. But he's like, jesus Christ. That was a.

[A]

Nightmare. I'm.

[C]

Sick.

[A]

Disgusting. I have small.

[C]

Dirty. I mean, imagine how much you.

[B]

You. I got tired. Got tired of using the bucket. My pants were.

[A]

Spilled. The.

[B]

Bucket? Yeah.

[C]

Just. I just. Just people looking up there and you're wiping your ass like crazy. Just sounds like it's.

[A]

Crazy. If there's like a crack in the stall at the airport, I'm like, this is.

[B]

Hell. Yeah. It's like a. A day at the zoo and you're in the monkey.

[A]

Cage. Ah. You just gotta sit. I would wait until. I mean, what. You're just like, nobody's coming. Let's get that.

[B]

Bucket. Yeah. It's night time to. On the.

[A]

Ground. Always perching at.

[B]

Night.

[A]

Yeah. On your.

[C]

Bucket.

[B]

Yeah. And you wait to hear it hit the ground. You're like, there it.

[C]

Goes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yes. And people.

[B]

Just.

[A]

Yeah. Trying to walk by, and they just see, like a mound of crap and flies around your pole. He must have been up there a while. It looks like a.

[C]

Dinosaur.

What do those people do who spend, like two years in a redwood tree to keep it from getting cut.

[A]

Down? But, buddy, what do you. I mean, they're.

[B]

Just. Don't they build, like nice tree houses or something?

[C]

They. They usually have. Yeah, like some kind.

[B]

Of.

[A]

No. And they have, like, little. They do have, like, little toilets they put in.

[C]

Bags. They.

[B]

Do.

[A]

Yeah. I. So yeah, they have like. It's like the illusion of a.

[B]

Toilet.

[A]

Wow. Or they'll just crap over the side. Yeah, I can. I can get. Yeah, I can get some of those first. You want some for the table? Yeah, I get some.

[B]

Food. Great. You want some lifeline to. To validate your. Your perception or idea of what they in. In the redwood.

[C]

Tree? You know what he thinks it's like, my friend Jack, if I heard Gareth explain it correctly, he says it's like a toilet in a.

[A]

Bag. No.

[C]

No. You guys, you know what he.

[A]

Said? Look at cranks connecting while the clown throws out some real shit. Okay. There's a bucket and you put a little thing. You ever seen the chairs? You could crap in Go ahead.

[C]

Dave. Yeah, you could crap in. Yeah. We talk about, like an old person's.

[A]

Home. You never go to a parade and shit.

[C]

What?

It's one of my fetishes, shitting in a.

[A]

Parade. Well, being on the side and having a chair you could crap.

[B]

In. Dave wrote. He went way out of his way to write in a shit bucket into Marin. I mean, it was a whole.

[A]

Episode. Yeah, well, it.

[B]

Did. Yeah. There was a shit bucket with a toilet seat attached to the top. That was one of Dave's great contributions to the show, how he saved the show. Was the shit.

[A]

Bucket. Well, no. I've always wondered what Dave's process. What the process must have been like for you two. I'm sure it was. Dave finished yelling and then you agreed to write it on the.

[B]

Board.

Dave was the only guy who wasn't sleeping in the writers.

[A]

Room.

That's cause his dad was a drug.

[C]

Lawyer. That would be amazing. Wasn't true, but it's.

[A]

True. That's so funny.

[C]

That.

[A]

That. How did Dave stick around so long? He was.

[B]

Awake. Yeah, he was.

[A]

Awake. He was.

[B]

Awake.

Hours waiting for somebody to say something that was.

[C]

Anything. Just say.

[A]

Something. Yeah, I would love.

To have seen some of that. When Dave's the only one.

[C]

Talking. There was one guy that would put perk up and go, dave's on the board.

[A]

Yeah.

So you had a guy who only had a catchphrase about an idea that wasn't.

[B]

His.

We were on a budget, but the show was.

[A]

Great. But it doesn't seem like it really had a fair.

[B]

Shot.

Well, you know, we had a bunch of guys in there and, you know, somehow or another, we got a show out of it. Yeah, but great show. But Dave was, you know, on top of it. It, you.

[A]

Know. Well, he did. He wrote himself in a lot at the end.

[C]

Though. I mean, that's how you do it, you know, just.

[A]

Keep. Got a little Dave heavy towards the end, in my.

[B]

Opinion. No, I know. I know. It just. It was like he was. I mean, I think in some conversations, Dave sort of claims it was kind of his show. It.

[A]

Lasted.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Season. Oh.

[C]

Yeah. Brad Pitt would probably say that because that was his favorite.

[A]

Character. I mean, Mark, how true is that? He. You mean. You know what I mean. It feels like I'm talking to your.

[B]

Dad. That's.

[A]

True. But like.

[B]

Dave. Yeah, Brad Pitt liked Dave. But I think the main reason was there was a scene where Dave just farts and it goes.

[A]

Unsaid.

[B]

Yeah. And he just sits there and farts and no one responds to.

[C]

It. Yeah, the scene was Mark. Mark is very vulnerable and says how much he cared about, you know, my friendship and stuff. And my response is just.

[B]

Farted. Yeah, it's just farted. And I think that sent Brad over the edge. And.

Well, Dave really helped him out. He was in a dark.

[A]

Place. It really.

[B]

Was. It took him out of the dark.

[A]

Place. Dave's his.

[B]

Favorite. He saved. He saved Brad Pitt's mental.

[A]

Life. No, there was a. There was a time there, and he's doing better than ever. So a lot of people do claim that, that, that.

[B]

Dave. It was.

[A]

Dave. Dave's part was his positive.

[B]

911. Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Yeah. Well.

He was my least favorite character, if that helps.

[C]

Anything. I. I'm actually. I do a course on that now. Mental health.

[A]

Course. Maybe just go back to the iPad about.

[B]

Farting. The best Dave story is that he. Is that Joe Kessler, the dp. I gave everyone a shot to direct because I just didn't care. And I thought, like, well, why not? No one's watching this. So everybody got to direct an episode, and Kessler, the director of photography, he wanted to get everything possible into his episode. There was a crane, there were close ups, and it was like. It was crazy. And there was one scene where Dave was in a bedroom. It was a shot where I think he was doing something with his wife, some sort of S and M thing. And they were like, in the bedroom, like, in position, like on top of each other. And Kessler had moved on without Dave knowing. It was cut. And he was just like, in that room going, what are we doing? You know?

Do you remember.

[C]

That?

[B]

Yes.

What's his name? Smart. What's.

[A]

Her. Yeah, Amy.

[C]

Smart. My favorite moment from the whole show was when the. Your personal assistant who made bacon in his apartment.

Took a shit in your. Your.

[B]

Room. Oh, is that in an.

[C]

Episode? No, it was real. It was actually behind the scenes.

We were shooting at a hotel at. Mark had his own room and he went in there, took a. Oh.

[B]

Yeah. I'm like, what are you.

[C]

Doing? Mark, like, lost his mind. There's so many places, there's.

[A]

Shit. You know what that is when you become one on the call sheet? It really is just people being like, you get to shit comfortably here. Like, yeah, you. You're gonna everyone the idea of violating that space.

[B]

Yes. You get your. You get your own quarter trip.

[A]

Trailer. Yeah, you're. You're gonna be. You're not gonna have to sneak off to, like, an animal or like a guy in a.

[B]

Tree. The best story was Michael Lerner that was. Were you on for that one? Were you there for that? Michael Lerner, you know, the guy who played the studio head in Barton Fink, you know, great character director from the 70s. You know, he was cast as my step. As my. My.

[C]

Mom. Oh.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Boyfriend.

[B]

Right. And he was just an animal.

[C]

Like.

[B]

Yes. You know, first of all, all, you know, Sally Kellerman playing my mother should not have been shooting this season because she was way into dementia and barely knew shit where she was. And Bobcat having. He kept trying, having to feed her line per line, and he. I don't know how he pulled it off, but he shot around it. It was very sad. But that didn't deter Michael Werner from trying to fuck with everyone's head in every scene so he could steal them. Like, you know, like, he would lean into me. Like, Sally Kellerman is just sitting there going, like, I don't think I like.

[C]

Him.

[B]

Him. And. And. And, you know, we would do a take, and Werner would go like, is that the way you're going to do it? No. I mean, I'm not saying anything, but, okay, if you're going to do it that way to me, and I'm like, you. And then he would just ham it up. But the best part about him was, like, he wanted to take everything home. He was like. We were on a set in what was their condo. He's like, can I take this plant? I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, is it a prop? I'm like, no. Can I take the bathrobe? No, you can't take the bathrobe. Like, can I.

[C]

Take.

[B]

Yeah. What about these shoes? No. What are you doing? I can't take the shoes. Like, so. So in the condo, he's got a trailer. Lerner has a trailer. And then the condo we were shooting in, it was so small. That Video Village was in the bathroom of. Of the condo. And on lunch, Lerner went in there and took a massive. And we all came back, and you're like, what. What happened? They're like, I think Michael Lerner took a. He's got a trailer. It's right out front. What kind of monster?

[C]

Monster?

[B]

Yeah. Oh, my.

[C]

God. I loved him.

[B]

Though. I do like that.

[C]

Guy. But I feel like. I feel like he also couldn't shut the door, so he was with the door open, as I.

[A]

Recall. Well, Video Village, it's a precarious spot to decide you're gonna lay.

[B]

Ways. He was a real character.

[A]

Man. The scripty was still in there, from what I heard the whole.

[B]

Time.

And he was telling him about how he should have won the Oscar for Barton Fink. That's what was going on. He was. And he said, don't go, don't go. Just going. Did you see Barton Fink? Yeah, I was nominated for an Oscar for that. Hold on a second. Hand me the toilet paper. They must have moved.

[A]

It. But can we run through the. Can we run through the scene we're ending the day with real.

[B]

Quick? What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't go, don't go. I need somebody here. Won't come.

[A]

Out.

Shooting in video village is.

[C]

Phenomenal. It's amazing.

It's.

[B]

Amazing. And. Oh, and just the sort of like. Can I take this shirt? No, I don't.

[A]

Care. You know. You know what he did take though?

[C]

His. He did take a.

[A]

Shirt. He found something to.

[B]

Take. Left the. He.

[A]

Left. Yeah, he left the.

[B]

Behind. Cuz we wouldn't let him take the plants in the.

[A]

Apartment. Can I take this.

[B]

Plant?

It's.

[A]

Unbelievable.

All.

[B]

Right. Back to Rest in.

[C]

Peace. Rest in.

[A]

Peace.

[B]

Absolutely. With Dave's.

[A]

Dad.

[C]

Well. Oh, yeah. Charlie stated that he was sick of tree sitting as he stretched his legs in front of his home. Home. Following the bath before he descended Monday, the lad had started has stated that he felt sick and dizzy. He's probably not getting a food up.

[A]

There. Well, that's a big.

[B]

Stuff. Just like learning how to walk again after a week in a.

[A]

Tree. It is. It is reintroduction to ground.

[C]

Society. Yeah, your body doesn't like to sit in one position for a long time. No, it's a.

[B]

Long. No, no, it's like an astronaut. He was like an astronaut. They had to put him in a.

[C]

Quarantine.

His mother stated that she was glad Charlie had come down. She too has become sick of tree sitting. Charlie readily recuperated once he was back on earth again and his mother reported him to be all right. Monday evening in Robinson Park, Lewis Mera, the next in line of the tree sitters, passed 401 hours. At 1am Mara was given a rub down by Dynamite Tommy.

[A]

Sanchez. Well, now, hold a minute. Dynamite's not supposed to be around people of that age, memory serves. Hey, what are you. You getting tired up.

[C]

There? Hey, kid, you need me to come down there and give you a little.

[A]

Rub? You got astronaut penis. Let me fix.

[C]

It.

[B]

Yeah. There was no registry for sex offenders during the tree sitting.

[C]

Era. You're going to find out why they call me Dynamite in a sec.

[A]

Kid.

Is there a grown man up there? How are.

[B]

You? I don't think he's supposed to be up.

[A]

There. We're going to fix you real.

[B]

Good. Grown men don't need rub.

[A]

Down. There we go. Don't worry. I got magic hands. All.

[C]

Right. Yeah.

Sanchez is the Santa Fe flyweight prize.

[A]

Fighter. What? There's a boxer going up there to massage the.

[C]

Kids. This is not a.

[A]

Good. It's a weird.

[C]

Setup.

Monday afternoon, and he announced that he was prepared to stick it out for a long.

[A]

While. I'm gonna live up here with the.

[C]

Kids. I'll be up here with the.

[A]

Kids. We're sharing a bucket, me and the.

[C]

Kid. I'm massaging. All the kids are up in.

[A]

Trees. There we go. Getting the kids back to normal. You know, law doesn't apply this high up, so I believe I'm okay to date the.

[C]

Children.

What Parrot is like, yeah, no, go up in that tree for four days and also let that grown man rub you.

[B]

Down. Yeah. 20 days. Well, when the grown man's Dynamite.

[A]

Sanchez. You know.

[C]

Sanchez. Hey, my kid got it. Got a leg rubbed down from Dynamite.

[A]

Sanchez. Well, the cops can't arrest him up there. It's out of their.

[B]

Jurisdiction. Yeah, he signed a picture for.

[A]

Us. Yeah. It was great molesting you.

[C]

Dynamite.

Lewis's refueler. Okay, so. Jesus Christ. So. So, yeah, the guy. So. So there is assigned to give them food. Bring them food and.

[A]

Water. Oh, there is a guy assigned to it. Like a city.

[C]

Employee. No, it's just probably, you know.

[A]

Some weirdo who's like, I made sandwiches for the.

[C]

Boys. Yeah. Lewis's refueler, Arthur Ruskowitz, went to Walker's Tree Monday afternoon to offer congratulations upon establishing a new record. Adam Carragher at 8th and Taft is 16 hours behind. Mira and Henry Gallegos in Old Town are also still going.

[A]

Strong. Boy, this is very. It is an.

[B]

Epic. I wonder if he was in the. The big Tree in Oldtown. There was a famous historic tree down.

[C]

There. They really. It probably was. Yeah, it probably.

[A]

Was.

[C]

Yeah. Is it a big.

[B]

Tree? Very tall. There was a restaurant down there that had a tree growing in the middle of.

[A]

It. I love.

[C]

Those.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if it was that tree. Old Town was very.

[A]

Old.

[B]

Yeah. Old Town was supposedly one of the first towns in America, like.

[C]

1400. Oh.

[B]

Really? Oh.

[C]

Wow. That's.

[B]

Crazy. Mexican town.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, Gareth can't.

[A]

Understand. We don't talk about the before white times on this show, Mark. We kind of. We don't love those, Dave.

[C]

Especially.

Another claimant for the world's record, Walker Was believed to have established. Raised his head Monday. He is Jimmy Sugantis of South Bend, Indiana, who had passed 432 hours at noon Saturday and is believed to still be in the.

[A]

Air. Still be in the air is.

[C]

A weird way to put it. Not in the.

[A]

Air. He's in the.

[B]

Tree. This guy came from Indiana to the big tree sitting event in New.

[C]

Mexico. No, he. He's in. So what's happening is there's. There's four kids in.

[B]

Albuquerque.

[C]

Right. And they're the only ones. And now this kid in Indiana is trying to beat the Albuquerque.

[B]

Kids. They got to get Dynamite Sanchez out there to.

[A]

Indiana. You get a couple more friends up in those trees. I'll make a drive.

I'd love to go there and have a look at these kids.

[C]

Legs.

With three Albuquerque contestants still battling for the.

[A]

Bicycle. Tom Morrow for the bike. I forgot it's for a.

[C]

Bike. Tom Morrow is offered to the champion local sitter. It looks like tree sitting will take its place on the sport page Besides football news this.

[A]

Fall. Jesus, that would be an awful.

[C]

Thing. Like. That's just insane. Yeah, Just give them the bike. At some point they should all get a bike. It's been 400 hours.

[A]

Hours. Dynamite should be buying the kids a bike, Honestly, for their.

[C]

Silence. Kids have been falling all the time.

[A]

Right? Kids definitely.

[B]

Fell. Yeah. Where are those.

[C]

Stories? Yeah, that's the story about.

[A]

Those.

[B]

Yeah. The ones that can't ride the.

[A]

Bikes.

[C]

Yeah. Anymore. Yeah. He was a great boy until he tried that.

[A]

Record. Then he fell into the wrong. He fell in with the wrong crowd and he started tree.

[C]

Sitting.

What are you.

[B]

Considering? Imagine. Well, no, it's just like carrying an injury from childhood. Your entire life you're walking with a limp and your story is. Well, yeah.

[C]

But.

[B]

Yeah. I almost had the record for.

[C]

Sitting on a.

[A]

Pole.

40 hours away from a free.

[B]

Bike.

[A]

Yeah. You.

[B]

Believe. Couldn't have kids. You couldn't. Yeah. What doesn't work.

[A]

But. No, my legs don't.

[B]

Work. Back in the day though, that was.

[A]

Something. You know, if I didn't have to lower that bucket, I probably would have made.

[C]

It. I tell you, it was probably the greatest rub down I ever got though. From.

[B]

Dyno.

[A]

Yeah. Dynamite sandwiches. They gave him the chair about 10 years after.

[B]

That. Yeah. But I was in touch with him all the way.

[A]

Through. Oh, yeah. He's a great.

[B]

Guy. Great.

[A]

Guy. Uncle.

[B]

Dynamite. I called him.

[C]

Out.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Kevin Spacey's listening to this, going, what a.

[A]

Time. Oh, man, what a time.

[C]

Trees.

Duelists can't Hit each other, but put shots in spectators. Okay, that sounds bad. This is from Mexico City when a report spread in the suburb of Tacubaya.

[A]

Tacubaya.

[B]

Beautiful. Yeah, don't worry about it.

[A]

Dave. Yeah, that's.

[C]

Cute. That two young and prominent men were to fight a duel. A curious crowd assembled at the designated.

[A]

Spot. Hey, these guys are shooting wildly. Let's gather.

[C]

Round. Check it.

[A]

Out. This could be an interesting way to spend a day.

[C]

Yeah.

The duelist arrived, emptied their pistols at each other, but the only two casualties were bystanders who were critically wounded. Well, don't stand behind.

[A]

Them. No, you get a great.

[B]

View. Yeah, yeah, I want to.

[C]

See. I want.

Down the.

[A]

Barrel. It looks like I'm in the duel. It's.

[C]

Amazing.

The duelists, who the police said were Pedro Castro Jimenez, a lieutenant of the presidential guards, and Rodolfo Martinez Torres, were.

[A]

Arrested. So you can't. If you kill bystanders. Dueling's.

[C]

Illegal. No, you're mostly. Then dueling was illegal. It's 1930, so you're not allowed to do it. But sometimes you just got to shoot a guy. Like, I get it. Yeah. Anybody.

[B]

Gets. But now. Now they're.

[A]

Just.

[B]

They're. They both just. They're just murderers, and they're. They both live to tell the tale of how they shot innocent.

[A]

People. How long until dueling's back on the White House.

[C]

Lawn? Oh, soon. Someone will propose it.

[A]

Soon. Yeah, it's.

[B]

Exciting. Well, no, they're just going to. Yeah, it's not even going to be dueling. They're just going to shoot Democrats.

[C]

And. That's. Right. It's.

[B]

Different. I mean, look, Senator, every day we can get the count.

[A]

Right? Yeah, but now we don't have to release the Epstein film.

[C]

Files. I mean, people watch. Because it would be a Republican shooting at a Democrat who's just, like, talking them out of it. Hey, that's not how we do.

[A]

Things. Can I see some.

[C]

Id?

All right. Actress isn't drug addict, says.

[B]

Officer. No, I've heard that story.

[C]

Before. Yeah, right. Come on. Federal narcotic inspector believes Mary Nolan, suspect probably has been falsely accused. VH DeSpain, federal narcotic inspector, said Thursday night he was satisfied after an examination that Mary Nolan, screen actress, is not a narcotic addict and will return three search warrants for Ms. Nolan's various apartments to the U.S. commissioner with the suggested suggestion that the case be dropped. So they paid off the studio, paid off the cop Fine.

[A]

Right? Get the movie.

[B]

Made. Yeah, it sounds like it was. That is that from.

[C]

Albuquerque? No, they just. This is a Los Angeles.

[B]

Story. Yeah, that.

[C]

Was.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Cover. Yeah. Ms. Nolan was in a hospital under treatment for severe case of sunburn caused when she fell asleep in a rowboat at Arrowhead.

[A]

Lake. Now, were there any signs of drug abuse? I haven't heard any yet.

Getting a third degree burn in a rowboat. Passing.

[B]

Out.

[C]

Yeah.

I. A drug addict, she said. I never heard of such a thing. Such a report is utterly without foundation. It is ridiculous. It is too preposterous for words. I am stunned. I can scarcely believe anyone could say such things about.

[B]

Me. And then she kept talking and talking and they.

[A]

Rethink. It reminds me of a friend of mine once who actually did do drugs. This guy was out of touch.

[C]

Dude.

The affidavits on which the search warrants were issued were made by Ms. Carolyn Clark and Ms. Claire Anderson, nurses. One of the affidavits said Ms. Nolan's arms were full of punctures from hypodermic.

[A]

Needles. Oh, well, that's just rowboat stuff. That's from an.

[C]

Oar. Yeah, that's.

[A]

Just.

[B]

That's. Or.

[C]

On. That's called taking the boat.

[A]

Out. That's just.

[B]

Oron. Yeah, it is called taking the boat.

[A]

Out.

I'm gonna go take the boat.

[C]

Out. I don't know why.

[B]

I. That hasn't been used as drug code. Hey, what are you doing tonight? Probably going to take the boat.

[C]

Out.

[A]

Yeah. And molesting is called climbing the. I'm going to go to the tree for a little.

[B]

While. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

How about last.

[A]

One? Last.

[C]

One. Yeah. School of Dancing must stop false advertising claims 100%. I agree. I agree. The Arthur Murray School of Dancing of New New work has been ordered by the Federal Trade Commission to stop advertising that it has taught. Boy, this is not all the. Not all the letters are.

[A]

There. Is that a.

[C]

Problem? That has taught dancing to former presidents of the United States, Senators, governors, and members of European royal.

[A]

Families. Wow. That's amazing. To be like presidents learned to.

[C]

Dance here just like everybody. Everybody. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Deputy Prime Minister of Belgium said, I never went.

[A]

There.

They are the.

[C]

Best.

The school has also been directed to cease advertising that it had been selected by the U.S. naval Academy to instruct the academy's dancing teachers when such is not the fact. They were like.

[A]

Everybody. Navy. Navy Dance squad's.

[C]

Awesome. That's amazing. But, you know, if you can.

[A]

Do it, do it without.

[C]

Question. Because they didn't get sued. They just got told to stop.

[B]

So. Yeah, because, like, they were making up like. Like The Navy has dancers, like, they thought they really had better times. A shoe. They nailed that one. It's like, what are they gonna say? It doesn't even.

[A]

Exist. The army love that. They're like.

Told.

[C]

You. Yeah.

[B]

Those. Navy Queen.

[A]

Is. Well, Mark, thank you for joining us. We know you're a busy guy, so thank you very.

[B]

Much. Busy, but thank.

[A]

You. You know, a little less busy. People should go watch Panicked, which is, again, an unbelievable special. And check out Stick on Apple, which is. I. When I did your podcast, you were talking about how you. You said you basically were like, let me fly home all the time, and I'll do it. And they called your bluff, and so here you.

[B]

Are. Yeah. They were like, no problem. I'm like.

But this one, this season, it's a miracle, dude. Because, like, I was nervous about it. It was too late to shoot in Canada, and they were thinking about Atlanta, and I'm like, I don't really like the actor's life. I don't like to be away that long. So I'm like, Atlanta for four months. I was going to lose my mind, but they got the. They got the tax credit. We're shooting here.

[A]

Man. Oh, that's great. Oh, way.

[B]

Back.

[A]

Great. That's.

[B]

Awesome. It's the best. Might even be.

[C]

Fun. I just.

[A]

Come. Well, if you need a guy to come on set and rub down or anything like.

[C]

That. Dynamite's always.

[B]

Around. Well, they're probably auditioning people for things. Why don't you. Do you have representation.

[A]

Gareth? I would love to, Mark. Let's talk offline, but I would really love to get my hat in the ring. I really. I've always wanted to touch Owen Wilson. So do you.

[B]

Know. Do you know how show business works? Do you have people that make calls for you or.

[A]

Anything? Mark, I'm 45. I'll do literally anything you ask me to at this point. I just want to hold my insurance for as long as possible, so I'll eat ass. You just tell me where to go, buddy. I'll just follow the yellow signs for crew.

[B]

Parking. Change your name to.

[A]

Dynamite100. Yeah, Mark, I'm already on a website.

Thank you.

[C]

Mark.

[A]

Thanks. Love you. Appreciate it. All right.

[C]

Thanks.

[A]

Thanks.

What could be better than seeing Gareth Reynolds do stand up? Go to garethreynolds.com for tickets and information. I will be in Omaha on November 28th and 29th. I will be in Vancouver, British Columbia, on December 2nd. Seattle, Washington, December 3rd. Eugene, Oregon, December 4th. Then I will also be in Kansas City, Missouri, doing a makeup show. Come on everybody. Shake off the new year. January 2nd. January 3rd. And just announced I will be back in Portland, Oregon at Helium Comedy Club on February 6th and February 7th. 7th. That's going to be a five show weekend over two nights. So go to GarethReynolds.com for tickets and information. Join me.