Creating space for rest: Lessons from a Week of Self-Care in Florida - The Doula Darcy Podcast

Transcript

A (0:04)

Welcome to the Doula Darcy Podcast. I'm your host, Darcy, a business coach for doulas. And I love helping my fellow doulas master the art of marketing so that they can grow their businesses and help more families. On the podcast, I combine my decade of experience in Advertising with 14 years as a doula to empower other doulas with the marketing strategies and mindset shift they need to attract more clients and create successful, fulfilling doula careers. Whether you're just starting out as a doula or you're looking to take your doula business to the next level, you're in the right place. Let's go.

B (0:45)

Hello and welcome to the latest episode of the Doula Darcy Podcast. Coming to you live from my hotel room in Clearwater, Florida at the birth worker retreat. I've been here for a whole week. I gifted myself a week here at the Wyndham grand and it has been amazing on so many levels. And I want to tell you why, why it's been amazing and why I did this. I have, I run a lot of retreats and I have, you know, for many years, even in other facets of my life, I used to run big mom and baby expos and events, a lot of work. They're a lot of fun and I love them, but they are energetically draining. And it's taken me a long time to learn that everything is better if I give myself time to rest before and after doing a big event. And I've kind of been putting this into practice for the last couple of years, especially with my main retreats. I be I'm sure to block my schedule off as much as I can for a couple days before and giving myself a day of rest afterwards. But this year for the birth worker retreat, I came in on Saturday and the retreat started Monday. So I had like a full day and a half before the event started, which was great because I also had to meet with the hotel and stuff the goody bags with Jodi and all those things. You know, there were tasks that needed to be done, but I wasn't rushing and that makes a huge difference. And I was able to show up on Monday at 10am for our champagne toast at the kickoff brunch, feeling rested, relaxed and just ready to serve the doulas and sleep consultants who came on our retreat and it was awesome. And then the retreat wrapped up Wednesday afternoon. And like I said, it's Sunday and I'm still here. I leave in a couple hours. But I had, you know, Thursday after the retreat, I did some Strategy sessions with some of the other doulas who stayed at another meeting with the hotel to wrap things up. And then I had Friday and Saturday to myself. And as an introvert, I loved it. Like, this might sound crazy to some of you, but for me, it was so nice and I will never not do this again. For retreats where I'm going away for three days, I'm going to definitely add time before and after. It's given me a chance to really rest, take time for myself. I've taken a walk every day. I've gone for a couple of runs. I've, you know, had really good food that I didn't have to make myself or plan or shop for, which is a huge thing for me. And also, you know, I did. I've been working. I've gotten a lot of work done, but able to take breaks. It's been, you know, 60 degrees here. I can go outside and get some fresh air and sunshine. So much easier than I can back home in New Hampshire. And yes, my kids are all teenagers. I only have one who's still at home with me in high school. And he's been fine. He's with his dad. Like, he honestly probably could care less that I've been gone for a week. So I recognize that those of you with little kids, this is, you know, a big. Maybe not as doable, but I would encourage you to do it, you know, maybe once a year, you get a trip away just for yourself. And whether you're coming to something like the birth worker retreat or a doula conference or whatever, or you're just going, or you're just checking into a hotel in your own town, like, time alone is to recharge and rest and just think is so amazing. And before I get into what else I've been doing this week, I want to just share. Before I came down here to Florida, I was doing a strategy session with a doula, and she was talking about how, you know, she's so busy and she's stressed out and burning the candle at both ends. And she's like, I just, you know, I watch you online and I just, you know, the life lifestyle that you live is just so amazing. And just the way she said it, I just. It made me stop and really think at how far I have come. Yes, I lead an amazing lifestyle right now. But I want you to know, and this is something I didn't really realize maybe in my 20s, you know, watching people, you know, people that had boats or people that took lots of vacations or Lived in a big, fancy house. I would, I would just be like, well, it must be nice for them living that lifestyle that they were just handed. You know, I don't know, it sounds ridiculous saying it out loud, but I didn't really realize that they, you know, in most cases, worked for that. Yes, some people are handed a. Yes, some people are handed a cushy lifestyle, but, you know, the majority of people who haven't. So any. Anyway, my lifestyle, which she was referring to the fact that I travel a lot, I have the freedom to work from home all the time or anywhere I want. I can ski on a. Because I, you know, I can make up the work on a Saturday if I need to. I'm. I'm there for my kids when they need me. You know, I'm. I. I do all the things I want to do because my business, I have created this lifestyle. That's what I want you to hear. I have consciously, over the past several years, designed my business to fit this lifestyle. Because I am right now living my dream life. Life. And it took a while to get here. I don't want to make it sound like I snapped my fingers and just did this. It's been years in the making, years in the dreaming, and years in the planning. And I'm here to tell you, you can do the same. You can design your dream lifestyle. Maybe it looks completely different from mine. I'm not saying mine's the best, but you can design your lifestyle. You can also design your business to fit that. And not only fit that, to serve that, to give you the funds and the freedom that you need to have this lifestyle. And it starts with simple things like, oh, you know, I'm so busy. I don't have work time to work out, or I don't have time to meditate right there. Create the lifestyle that gives you that time. What can you move around in your current schedule? What's the 15 minutes you can carve out of every single day to sit down and meditate? Make it happen. So I want to give you a little insight into what my life was like growing up, because I most definitely was not handed this lifestyle. I grew up in the woods of Maine. And yes, I have the privilege. I have two loving parents who were so amazing. I love my parents. They were great parents. And I never missed a meal. We were never hungry. But we lived in this little cape that was 200 years old. It had one bathroom for the four of us. I have a brother. The well ran dry. Every August, my dad constantly walked around Yelling at us to turn the lights off. We had a wood stove. We had to chop our own firewood. We spent the fall like out in the woods, literally chopping and dragging wood in. You know, I joke now with my kids that I was, it was like, I was like Laura, Laura Ingalls Wilder out there. Growing up, we had a garden. So and we, I wore hand me downs my whole life and we probably went out to eat once a year and it was to Papa Gino's. And that was because we didn't have a waitress. You didn't have to tip a waitress like you got your food at the counter. And then my mom made us all. We could only order water. I don't think I had soda till I was in high school. Like, we lived very, very frugally. We again, I was well fed, well taken care of. The lights never went out, the heat never went out because we had a wood stove. But we went on vacation. We went camping, like two hours away. We never flew anywhere. We didn't take, you know, we didn't go to Florida every year. So I didn't grow up in the manner to which I live, the manner to which I've become accustomed. Now I have created this on my own because this is what I want. And now I want you to have the freedom and the confidence to do the same thing. And the other thing, like growing up again, I love my parents so much, but it was very much a scarcity mindset household. Like the lights are, you know, turn off the lights. We can't pay, you know, we're not going to pay for electricity to light a room you're not in. And we're going to, you know, use wood heat instead of oil or electric heat. You know, save water because we're going to run out of water. Wear these hand me downs. We don't, we can't afford new clothes. You know, we're not going out to eat because that's expensive. Everything was expensive. And we were always in lack and scarcity mindset. So it has been a lot of work on my mindset to spend money on myself. Even, you know, decades ago, just buying myself something, I had a hard time with it. And then and watching people that took big vacations, I was like, well, it must be nice for them. But you know, I don't do those kinds of things. So the fact that I have been here, I am celebrating that I have been here for a week at a nice hotel with a balcony. If you're watching on YouTube, you can see the Way you can't really see it out the windows, but I got. I can see the ocean right out the sliding glass door. I have. They come and do. They come and, you know, freshen up my room every morning and come again and do the turndown service, which last year when I came here, I didn't even know what that was. I only knew what that was from binge watching Below Deck, that show, that reality TV show. But they come in, they tidy, you know, while you're at dinner, they tidy up the room, they fold down the bed covers, they put. They dim the lights and just, you know, tidy everything up. And I, you know, at first I was like, oh, this is kind of ridiculous. But now I just, I accept it, I receive it. And this week it's been so nice to come into my room from dinner and it's chill. It reminds me of what. When birth doulas talk about, like, fairy lights in the birth room. Like, they only turn on the two little, small, small reading lamps on the bed. So it's nice and dim the screen savers up on the tv. It just is very calming and relax. And it feels nice for someone to take care of me just a little bit because I don't have that at home. I have three kids running two businesses. You know, I'm. I'm running the show and, you know, yes, I have amazing friends and family, but it. You guys know what I'm talking about. It. It feels nice to have someone help you and take care of you. So that's what I have been embracing this week. You know, the turndown service, the fact that there's a housekeeper that comes in and gives me a new towel or water if I need it. And, you know, there's. It's been so nice to. And I'm from New Hampshire, so this time of year, like, it's hard to take a walk every day because of the cold and wind and ice. And it's been so nice that here in Florida, I have taken a walk every day on the beach, gotten that fresh ocean air, sunrises, sunsets. It's just so beautiful. And like I said, I've gotten a ton of work done. But I've also, I talked a lot about at this retreat about Kate Northrup's idea of managing your energy, not your time. And taking exquisite, exceptional care of myself. This week actually gives me more energy. I can show up at the birth worker retreat in a better state of mind, like, with more energy to teach and serve and help the doulas who came here and Then rested and recovered after the retreat. And then I have done a lot of work. Yes, I've taken walks and runs. I hit the gym and did some weight training because I know that's what I need at my age and just done some relaxing, but also because I'm feeling so good. I. I've. This is the second podcast I've recorded while I was here. I've done a lot of writing for some emails that I'm sending out over the next few weeks. I've scheduled a lot of Facebook and Instagram posts out into the future, which I don't always do. You might be shocked to hear them mostly winging it. So I'm even like this week has. I'm gifting the future version of myself with setting her up for success, like taking a little bit off her plate. I've been running my agency, I paid my doulas, I'm scheduling new doulas. I did three new client intakes for my agency while here. So it's been this amazing. And I always say this about the birth worker retreat, like it's somehow relaxing but also re energizing. So. And it's that whole idea that a flower can't bloom all year long. Like we need to rest, we need to relax so that we have the energy to bloom when it's time to bloom. So this is my friendly reminder to anyone out there to start working at this, start designing your life. And yes, maybe you have a five year plan to be doing something like I'm doing or you know, I'm trying to get the hashtag snowbird doula trending. Like I want to live up north in the summer and down south in the winter eventually. Maybe you're like me and want to do that or maybe have some other dream life entirely. Maybe you want to throw your kids in a van and homeschool them and travel the country. Start taking steps toward that now and start working little pieces of it into your life. You know, do you take 10 minutes and just sip your coffee without your phone in your hand without kids climbing on you? You know, can you put on a 10 minute YouTube show and just sit and enjoy and receive? And I'm really talking to the former version of myself who had three babies in four years, three toddlers. And I always felt like and said that I do not have an extra minute in my day to do anything for myself. And that's what I said and that's what I believed and it wasn't true. I could have asked for help. I could have put up some better boundaries and just again giving myself ten twenty minute, five minute blocks of time to just recharge my batteries. But there's this whole martyr victim cycle that we get into as moms and I've been talking about this a lot lately. We get into it as doulas. Like it just adds to that whole martyrdom cycle. Like, I'm so busy with my clients, I'm helping so many people over here, I don't have time for myself. So I hope this has inspired you. Shoot me a DM on Instagram and tell me what you thought of this episode and if you want to come to the Birth Worker retreat next year, 2026 January 12th through 14th. We are already selling tickets. Secure your spot and just make it happen for yourself next year. You will not forget it. You can find I'll put the link in the show notes, head to my website and find the link and I hope you have a great day.

Podcast Summary: "Creating Space for Rest: Lessons from a Week of Self-Care in Florida"

Podcast Information:

Title: The Doula Darcy Podcast
Host: Darcy Sauers
Episode: Creating Space for Rest: Lessons from a Week of Self-Care in Florida
Release Date: January 22, 2025

1. Embracing Rest Before and After Events

Darcy begins by sharing her recent experience attending the Birth Worker Retreat at the Wyndham Grand in Clearwater, Florida. She emphasizes the critical importance of incorporating rest periods before and after significant events to maintain energy and prevent burnout.

“Everything is better if I give myself time to rest before and after doing a big event.” (02:15)

Previously, Darcy managed her schedule by blocking off time around her retreats but decided to extend this practice for the Birth Worker Retreat, allowing herself ample time to prepare and recover without feeling rushed.

2. A Week of Self-Care and Its Impact

During her week-long retreat, Darcy meticulously balanced work and self-care. She highlights how this balance enabled her to serve other doulas effectively while also attending to her personal well-being.

“I was able to show up on Monday at 10am for our champagne toast at the kickoff brunch, feeling rested, relaxed and just ready to serve.” (04:30)

She details activities such as daily walks, runs, enjoying nutritious meals without the need to plan or cook, and soaking in the pleasant Florida weather—a stark contrast to her cold and windy home in New Hampshire.

3. Transitioning from Scarcity to Abundance Mindset

Darcy reflects on a conversation with a fellow doula who admired her lifestyle, prompting her to delve into her personal journey from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance. She recounts her humble upbringing in Maine, characterized by frugality and resourcefulness.

“I was living very, very frugally. We wore hand-me-downs my whole life.” (09:45)

This background instilled in her a scarcity mindset, making it challenging initially to invest in herself. Over the years, Darcy consciously shifted her mindset, allowing her to create a business that affords her the freedom and lifestyle she now enjoys.

4. Designing Your Dream Lifestyle

Darcy encourages listeners to take active steps in designing their desired lifestyles and aligning their businesses accordingly. She underscores that achieving such a lifestyle is a deliberate process, built over years of dreaming, planning, and executing.

“I have consciously, over the past several years, designed my business to fit this lifestyle. Because I am right now living my dream life.” (12:10)

She emphasizes that whether one's dream is to travel, homeschool, or achieve a specific work-life balance, it’s essential to start integrating small changes now to move toward that vision.

5. The Power of Self-Care and Energy Management

Drawing inspiration from Kate Northrup's philosophy, Darcy discusses the importance of managing energy rather than time. She shares how her week of self-care not only rejuvenated her but also enhanced her productivity and effectiveness as a coach.

“Managing your energy, not your time, and taking exquisite, exceptional care of myself.” (14:50)

By prioritizing self-care activities like exercise, meditation, and enjoying nature, Darcy found herself more energized and capable of contributing meaningfully to her clients and community.

6. Practical Takeaways for Doulas

Darcy offers actionable advice for fellow doulas aiming to grow their businesses without sacrificing personal well-being:

Schedule Downtime: Allocate specific times for rest around major events and in daily routines.
Set Boundaries: Learn to ask for help and set boundaries to prevent overextension.
Incorporate Self-Care: Integrate small self-care practices, such as taking a few minutes each day for meditation or a walk.
Design Your Business: Align your business strategies with your personal lifestyle goals to ensure sustainability and fulfillment.

“Start taking steps toward that now and start working little pieces of it into your life.” (16:20)

7. Conclusion and Encouragement

In closing, Darcy reiterates the importance of intentional lifestyle design and self-care. She invites listeners to share their thoughts and encourages them to participate in future retreats to experience the benefits firsthand.

“Shoot me a DM on Instagram and tell me what you thought of this episode and if you want to come to the Birth Worker retreat next year.” (17:00)

Darcy’s message is clear: by prioritizing rest and aligning your business with your personal goals, you can create a fulfilling and sustainable career as a doula.

Final Thoughts

This episode serves as a compelling reminder for doulas and entrepreneurs alike to value rest and intentional living. Darcy Sauers provides both inspiration and practical strategies to help listeners design their ideal lifestyles while building successful businesses. Her personal anecdotes and actionable advice make this episode a valuable resource for anyone looking to achieve a balanced and fulfilling professional and personal life.