← The Doula Darcy Podcast
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Welcome to the Doula Darcy podcast. I'm your host, Darcy, a business coach for doulas. And I love helping my fellow doulas master the art of marketing so that they can grow their businesses and help more families. On the podcast, I combine my decade of experience in Advertising with 14 years as a doula to empower other doulas with the marketing strategies and mindset shift gifts they need to attract more clients and create successful, fulfilling doula careers. Whether you're just starting out as a
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doula or you're looking to take your
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doula business to the next level, you're in the right place. Let's go.
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Hey, everybody. Okay, this one is going out to all the introvert doulas in the audience and I want to thank Jillian for inspiring this episode. I was talking with her actually this weekend in Boston at the Birth Boss CEO Summit, and I don't even know how it came up, but she said something about being an introvert and I said, oh gosh, me too. Actually, I think we were talking about going to this big event and she said, what? You're an introvert? And I said, I know, I know. Everyone is so surprised to hear that I'm an introvert. I mean, hello, I have a podcast. You're listening to my podcast right now. Not something a typical introvert would do. And I blast my face all over social media. So she was just so intrigued to hear that I was an introvert. And she said, you have to do a podcast about this. You have to, you know, inspire other doulas that maybe are introverts and struggling. So I thought that was a great idea. So. So here we are. And it's perfect timing because as I mentioned, I was just down in Boston for the Birth Boss CEO Summit for two days. It was actually a three day event, but I had to leave on the third day and then fly to Orange County, California for an event with one of my coaches, James Wedmore. So I was gone for nine days and I loved it, loved it so much. Boston was amazing. There was a, you know, I don't know, maybe 20 doulas there. It was a really great event. Such good speakers, shout out to and thank you to Jodi Condon for putting this event on. It was so good. But, you know, actually the thought crossed my mind to reach out to a couple of them that I know well and see if they wanted to share a hotel room. And then I was like, nope, nope. I know myself. This is what I do as an introvert to. I don't Know what you would call it? Protect my energy, protect my brain, protect my feelings or whatever. Basically just give myself what I need. So the whole thing. If you don't know what an introvert is, there's introverts and there's extroverts. And my understanding is that extroverts get their energy from being with other people. They love being with other people. They go to parties and they're energized and they want to stay up till midnight talking to everyone because they're just so full of energy and they go home that night and they can't sleep because it was just so fulfilling and so great. I love that for them. But that is so not me. I am an introvert. I get energy and re energized from being alone. I love to go talk to people and more on this later. Like I love to hang out with other doulas but I have to balance it with time to my when I hang out with anyone I have to balance any engaging with people. I have to balance that with time alone. And it's not like an hour for hour exchange but if so I just knew if I needed I was gonna go to this event and hang out with doulas all day and love every minute of it. But I knew I needed my own hotel room at night so I could just decompress and be my myself and do what I needed to do, aka go to bed at 8pm I'm an introvert who loves to go to bed early. So that's one of my biggest things that I do. And even in California I was, I had some really close friends I've made through this mastermind that I'm in with James Wedmore. And the thought crossed my mind, you know, I was going to be there for seven, six nights. So I thought, you know, I could save a lot of money by sharing a hotel room and I just know myself by now. Finally at 51 years old, I can't do that. I have to to have my own hotel room at events like these because again the gosh James Wedmore. You start at 8am, you go till 10pm like that guy is a generator's generator. So I needed that space to myself. So that's my first tip for introverts. And I feel like this took me so long to learn. It was really. I beat myself up for the whole first, I don't know, 40ish something years of my life until I read that book Quiet about introverts and extroverts and people started talking about this. I was always like, what is wrong with me? I, you know, if I don't meet my needs and just go, go, go, go, go. And I am like, what is wrong with me that I just want to go into a cave and get away from all people, even my family? So once I learned that it's okay to be that way, that just freed up so much, I don't know, guilt, I guess, in my head. And so now even on a daily basis, if I know I'm going to, you know, work all week and go to a party Friday night, like Saturday morning, it's okay if I just stay home by myself and don't talk to anyone. I don't need to just jam pack my days with being with people. And that has helped me so much. P.S. i just sent an email, if you're on my email list, about the fact that James Wedmore is offering up some free coaching zoom sessions and he's never done this before. And usually you have to pay big bucks for these kind of things. So I want you all, if you're interested in creating an online business creating or part of your doula business as an online or all of it, I would highly recommend you hop on this chance to get on a group coaching call with James. If you didn't get the email, send me an email and I can get you set up with the link. Okay, back to being an introvert. So when I, and I promise I will bring this all around to being a doula. But before I was a doula, you all know I worked in advertising and marketing for 10 years before having my kids. And my very first job out of college was at an ad agency in Portsmouth, New Hampshire and I was the media buyer. And then I moved up to the media director. I worked there for three years. But so, and then part of my job was that every month I had to go to the Portsmouth, New Hampshire Chamber of Commerce business after hours every month, 5 to 7pm and just that when my boss told me that I had to do that, I was like, no sir, I can't do that. I can't. What? Go Talk? I was 21, 22, 23. I can't go mingle and talk to grownups from for two hours. I mean, I was the youngest person in the room by far. Everybody else was middle aged, you know, bankers and real estate agents and all sorts of professions like that. I just, I was so out of my league and out of my comfort zone, but I had to do it. The good thing was you got two Drink tickets every time. So I was broke and young, and I thought, well, at least I get two free drinks. So I would go. And it took. I mean, the first ones. I would love to, like, have videos. I was so awkward talking and making conversation. And, like, you know that feeling when you're like, you get your drink from the bar and you turn around and there's just a room full of grownups, and you're like, oh, my God, I have to, like, stand here and not look weird for two hours and, like, find someone to chat with and bless the people that had patience with me and chatted with me and helped me out. And so I went every month. I dreaded it every time. But I eventually, you know, like, anything else, it took practice. Every time I got a little bit better. And now I really am grateful for that opportunity because it really taught me so much about networking, making conversation, not feeling awkward in a group of people, and just making the most of it. One little thing I learned. I don't know how long it took me, but I finally started to be like. When I would, you know, I'd be standing there in my head freaking out, like, oh, my God, what am I gonna say next? What could I ask? How could I get them talking? And then all of a sudden, I found if I started to talk about skiing, I was forever trying to steer the conversation towards skiing. And then I got. I started to realize who the people were coming to these things every month that were the skiers. And during the winter, I was like, oh, God, at least I can talk about skiing. Shout out to Al from the Boston Globe. He was my buddy because he was probably feeling the same way. So we would just stand over on the side and talk about, you know, where you're going skiing next weekend. You go last weekend. How are the conditions here? Oh, did you get new skis? What kind of boots do you have? And I was like, okay, if we keep on this track, I can chitchat with you for 10 to 15 minutes. Oh, my God, Eric. All. Oh, sorry. All these members memories are flooding back. Eric Rosenberger from wbur, one of the radio stations. He was a big. He loved skiing at Loon. So funny. I just went to Loon last week and thought about. I'm like, I remember that guy. Anyway, I learned again, if I can start talking about skiing, because I was so interested in skiing, I wasn't really interested in trying to help a bank increase their radio promotions and how. And then even at these things, like, you weren't supposed to talk about Business. So I was like, if I can't talk to you guys about advertising, I don't know what to talk about. So I did that every month for three years when I worked at this ad agency. And then I moved to, got my job in Manhattan and then New Jersey. And then you all know the story, came back here, had my kids, and decided to become a doula. And so I went through my training. And I'm fast forwarding through this story because I've talked about it a lot, but I just, like, a lot. Raise your hand if you finish your training. And you're like me realizing, oh, what? I have to find my own clients. I have to start my own business. What? I hadn't really thought of that before the training. So I realized I had to get clients and pause. If this is you right now, I have a free webinar coming up on how to get doula clients. Go to theduladarcy.com webinar and you can register. I have a couple of dates coming up. So no matter when you're listening to this, this will be available. So free how to Get Doula Clients webinar. I want to help you out. I want to get you out of this jam. So head to theduladarcy.comwebinar and get yourself signed up for that. But. So here I was, brand new baby, postpartum doula, desperate. And when I say desperate, I really was. I joke around that I would have paid to. I would have paid a mom for her to be my first client. I just, I was so chomping at the bit to get out there and just help other new moms. I had a truly a fire in my belly. So my first thought was like, well, I guess I'm going to join the Dover, New Hampshire Chamber of Commerce. And I did. And they. I can't remember. I don't know if they had business after hours. I think I couldn't do that, actually, because I had little kids. But I would go to their. They had speed networking breakfast events, which were great. You got free coffee and a muffin, and you stood in a line and one line, two lines. One line moved, the other line stayed still. And you talked to 30 people, two minutes each. They rang a bell. So that was great. But I had. I was really grateful that I had those three years of doing these chamber events in my pocket because I got really good at the speed networking, made so many great connections. And what I discovered is I was so passionate about postpartum doula work. I didn't have to turn the conversation towards skiing. I could talk to anyone in that room, especially if they were female, about, you know, I'd say, hi, I'm Darcy, I own Dover Doula, I'm a postpartum doula. And they'd say, oh, what's that? And then I would tell them what a postpartum doula was. And every single one was like, wow, especially the women. That sounds amazing. And then they would pretty much tell me their horrible postpartum experience that they had, whether it was five years ago, 10, 20. And I made great connections and. But the point of my story was it was easier because I, as an introvert, I can get over myself and I can talk about being a doula. And now online business and marketing. When I am passionate about something, I have the energy to make connections. And I am saying this to all you introverts listening that if you are scared, like, oh my God, I hate putting myself out there, I don't know how to make connections. That quote from Michael Hyatt that marketing is just about sharing your passion. I will add that networking is just about sharing your passion. And I know if you're listening, you are passionate about supporting people through birth and the postpartum period. And that is what you can tap into when you're nervous or scared and you have to put a reel on Instagram or you have to go network in your community or you have to go to business after hours. And then it's even easier if you're networking with the other doulas in your community because they share, share your passion. I could go out to coffee with a doula I just met for two hours if we both got talking like about our shared passion for this work. And it doesn't drain me like a two hour neighborhood barbecue where I'm just chit chatting about the weather and local stuff and all this stuff. Like it's great. Weirdly, any of my neighbors are listening. I have the best neighbors. I love them all, they're so great. But I am tired. Anything, you know a birthday party for a friend where there's a bunch of people, like a graduation party, Like I come home from those events drained and exhausted. I'm glad I went. I liked being there. But it drains me meeting up with a doula for coffee, it doesn't drain me in the same way. So I hope that if you're an introvert and you've been scared about starting your doula business, lean into your passion and remember that and build in breaks for yourself even after, you know, you go network with some doulas for a couple hours, like go ahead and take a walk by yourself and get that downtime. And really this is my biggest tip for introverts. Build that downtime into your schedule. And if you're, you know, everybody's really busy, but you know, even if you have little kids, like maybe it's 15 minutes of quiet. One thing I do now is sometimes when I'm driving, I just, I don't even listen to a podcast. I don't even listen to music. I just let it be quiet and be like, this is my time to just be. And that really helps. So yes, after a week long trip, I love like a day to myself. But sometimes, or there was a time, I'm just gonna say it now, I build that into my trip. My I just went to this James Wedmore event in California. The event was Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. I stayed Friday and just had a day to myself in the hotel. In the energy of the event, I got so much done. I just took long walks, I sat by the pool and just integrated everything. And then I didn't go home till Saturday. And that this is not what this podcast is about. But that's my little event tip to build in an extra day on the tail end before you go home and get back into the routine of your regular life. Especially if it's an event where you're up leveling and you know, I really, that's what I've done now is build that extra day in I think introvert, extrovert. That is a good tip for you. But if you're at a stage where life is super Busy, build in 15 minute increments of quiet time to help you get back at it. So all this to say that it is absolutely possible to be an introvert and start your own doula business. Absolutely. Give yourself grace and give yourself downtime. Do what you need to do and then tap into your passion for doula work and everything that you need to do to put yourself out here. And this is the last thing I'm going to say, but I remember the pep talk I gave to myself. And I've said this before, I think on this podcast back when I was first starting out my doula business and kind of coming to the realization that doula clients weren't going to just come knock on my door or call me, magically, I had to go out and let them know I existed. I had a moment of like, oh my God, I can't do this. I can't go join the Dover Chamber and start networking all over town. And what, you know, what am I going to do? And I just remember, remember telling myself like Darcy, like, if you I had a choice, I could go back and find another marketing job and go live in a cubicle for the rest of my Life and Work 9 to 5 and miss all the milestones with my kids. Or I could get over myself. And what I told myself is that my passion for being a postpartum doula has to override my fear of networking and putting myself out there. And that is just every networking meeting I booked, every breakfast speed networking thing I did at the Chamber, every speaking event I went to, every time I set up a table at the health food store, I would just say, this is what I have to do. I have, this is the scary thing I have to do if I want to get to be a doula. And now we talk about this a lot in my doula village. You know, doulas are scared introverts, extroverts, you know who, you know, nobody. It's hard when you're starting to put yourself out on social media and put pictures of yourself on your website. And I say, like again, if you or you know, start to grow your Instagram to a national audience because you're trying to create passive income, if you want to do this, I'll just talk about myself. If I want to live this life where I. Hello, introvert. I didn't even think of this. The whole reason I, the main reason I wanted to build an online doula business with location freedom is that I love just being at home. I love making my money and not having to leave my house. And I still, I still get to talk about my two passions, doulas and doula work and helping moms and marketing and online business. But I knew if I wanted to build a business with multiple passive income streams, I had to let my passion override my fear of putting myself out there on Instagram and just. And going for it. And I did. And it worked. And it gets easier every day. So I hope this has helped you. If it has, I would love to hear from other introvert doulas like, shoot me a dm, we maybe need a club because even client work and I can't even imagine birth doulas like postpartum doula work. I would say, you know, I've loved, I see you those postpartum doulas who say, I love the nighttime. I love overnights because you're, you know, you're by yourself. You have to talk to the parents much. I see you introvert doulas. And you know, sometimes daytime shifts didn't really ever do many overnights, but daytime shifts, you know, sometimes you're talking and listening to the mom, the whole daytime shift, which is great. But I would leave those and be like, oh, I just, those were the drives home back to my own family where I didn't turn the radio on, I didn't turn a podcast on. I preferred the shifts where the mom was like, I just need to go sleep, sleep. And she'd hand the baby to me and I'd have two, you know, the mom would go sleep for two, two and a half hours, whatever. And I'd have my little quiet time with the baby. Yeah. So being a postpartum doula as an introvert can be challenging. And I can only imagine being an introverted birth doula, what that might be like if there's, I don't know, a doc, an OB and three nurses and the partner and the mother in law, like, and your, the laboring mom, like that is just a lot of energy and you never know if you're going to be there for five hours or 35 hours. So I can imagine that's really draining. Well for everybody, but especially as introverts and that you need to give yourself the time to rest and recover from that on a introvert extrovert scale. So anyway, reach out to me, send me a DM on Instagram, shoot me an email, let me know if you're out there on these doula streets as an introvert. I would love to hear that. So thanks everybody.
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Thank you for tuning in to the doula.