Podcast Summary: The Doula Darcy Podcast

Episode: There Are No Doula Police (So Stop Asking for Permission)
Host: Darcy Sauers
Date: January 7, 2026

Overview

In this empowering solo episode, Darcy Sauers dives deep into the theme of autonomy and confidence for doulas in their business operations. Drawing parallels between the advocacy doulas provide to clients and the doubts they often carry in their own business decisions, Darcy’s main message is clear: there are no “doula police”, and you don’t need anyone’s permission to run your business your way. The episode challenges “people-pleasing” tendencies and encourages listeners to boldly chart their own course.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “People Pleaser” Mindset in Doula Work

(00:41 – 02:45)

Darcy identifies with “people pleasers” and draws on her experiences of people-pleasing for much of her life.
Parallel with Doula Work:
- Doulas routinely coach clients to question authority—encouraging birth clients to ask about risks, benefits, and options rather than just “being a good patient.”
- Similarly, postpartum clients are often reassured that they don’t need permission to co-sleep, to stop breastfeeding, or even simply to take a shower.
Quote:

"As birth doulas, it's our role to teach our clients that they can ask questions, they can ask for more time, they can ask about the risks and the benefits. They don't have to just show up and do what their doctor allows them to do, what their doctor gives them permission to do."
— Darcy (01:09)

2. Turning the Mirror Inward: Are You Waiting for Permission?

(02:45 – 04:50)

Darcy points out that doulas are often adept at empowering clients but reluctant to empower themselves in business.
Reflection Prompt: Where are you waiting for someone to tell you it’s okay to make changes or do things differently in your own practice?
Modern Freedom:
- In today's world, within ethical and professional bounds, doulas have real autonomy to construct their businesses as they see fit.
- “There are no doula police. There's no business police, there's the IRS. So, yes, pay your taxes... but beyond that: create whatever kind of packages you want.”
  — Darcy (03:33)
Many online posts in doula groups are rooted in asking for permission, not just advice.

"Sometimes the underlying question is that you're asking for permission."
— Darcy (04:23)

3. Recognizing and Breaking Out of People-Pleasing Patterns

(04:50 – 07:10)

First Step: Noticing as you go through your day whether your actions are motivated by personal desire or by an unseen compulsion to please others.
Darcy shares candidly about her own experiences as a mother, often making decisions out of imagined judgment and fear of criticism that never materialized.

"Half the time you're people pleasing someone that doesn't even exist."
— Darcy (06:16)
She encourages doulas to stop saying yes to things they don’t actually want to do for clients.

4. Permission Granted: Build Your Own Path

(07:10 – 08:45)

Darcy’s “Mic Drop Moment”:
- Doulas don’t need permission from peers, Facebook groups, or local conventions—unless it genuinely aligns with what they want.
- “This is me. Doula Darcy is giving you permission to run your doula business, however you want to run your doula business...”
  — Darcy (07:19)
Challenge: Stop hiding, playing small, or holding back from marketing and business growth efforts out of fear of disapproval.
She reminds listeners: even in the rare case of receiving negative comments, these often come from those who wish they had such courage themselves.

5. Try, Reflect, Iterate: Business as a Living Process

(08:00 – 08:54)

Actionable Wisdom:
- Experiment with packages, communication styles, and offerings. If it feels good to you, try it—and know you can always adjust later.
- “Try stuff that feels good to you, and then try other stuff. There's my big business wisdom that I'm dropping for you today.” — Darcy (08:48)
Encouragement to DM feedback on how the episode resonated.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

01:09 — “As birth doulas, it's our role to teach our clients that they can ask questions… They don't have to just show up and do what their doctor allows them to do...” — Darcy
03:33 — “There are no doula police. There's no business police, there's the IRS. So, yes, pay your taxes... but beyond that: create whatever kind of packages you want.” — Darcy
04:23 — “Sometimes the underlying question is that you're asking for permission.” — Darcy
06:16 — “Half the time you're people pleasing someone that doesn't even exist.” — Darcy
07:19 — “Doula Darcy is giving you permission to run your doula business, however you want to run your doula business...” — Darcy
07:59 — “You don't have to wait for anyone's permission to build a business that feeds your soul, feeds your family, and has an amazing impact.” — Darcy
08:48 — “Try stuff that feels good to you, and then try other stuff. There's my big business wisdom that I'm dropping for you today.” — Darcy

Important Timestamps

00:41 — Addressing people pleasing and parallels to doula work
02:45 — Challenging doulas to stop seeking permission in their business
03:33 — The “no doula police” philosophy
04:23 — Social media posts as veiled requests for permission
06:16 — Breaking the people-pleasing habit
07:19 — Explicit “permission” to run your doula business your way
08:00 — Encouragement to experiment and iterate in your business

Final Thoughts

Darcy’s episode is an uplifting push for doulas to recognize and release self-imposed limits. The core lesson is to extend to yourself the same advocacy, permission, and freedom you relay to your clients. By rejecting people-pleasing and striving for authenticity in business, doulas can build practices that are sustainable, enjoyable, and true to their vision.

Action Step: Notice where you’re waiting for permission—and go for what truly feels right to you, knowing that “there are no doula police.”

Transcript

A (0:04)

Welcome to the Doula Darcy podcast. I'm your host, Darcy, a business coach for doulas. And I love helping my fellow doulas master the art of marketing so that they can grow their businesses and help more families. On the podcast, I combine my decade of experience in Advertising with 14 years as a doula to empower other doulas with the marketing strategies and mindset shifts they need to attract more clients and create successful, fulfilling doula careers. Whether you're just starting out as a doula or you're looking to take your doula business to the next level, you're in the right place. Let's go. All right.

B (0:41)

Hello. Hello, everybody. This one is going out to all you people pleasers out there in the audience. I know you're out there. I see you. I'm one of you. I, I spent the first, whatever, 45 years of my life people pleasing so hard. So I like to say now I'm a recovering people pleaser and how this all applies to you and being a doula is I want you to think about as a birth doula, part of what you do is talk to your clients about how like a hospital childbirth ed class is just setting them up to be a good patient. It's not actually teaching them what they need to know. And as birth doulas, it's our role to teach our clients that they can ask questions, they can ask for more time, they can ask about the risks and the benefits. They don't have to just show up and do what their doctor allows them to do, what their doctor gives them permission to do. Don't you feel like that's a big part of birth doula work? And then in postpartum doula work, this shows up too. We talk to our clients about how they don't have to just do what the book tells them, what the OB tells them, what the pediatrician tells them. They, yes, take that into consideration, but come up with what you know, what your gut's telling you, whether it's in term, you know, how many raise your hand if you're driving along or listening and you're a doula who has felt like your client is asking for your permission to stop breastfeeding and go to a bottle feeding or ask for permission to co sleep with their baby or ask for permission to take a shower. Honestly, I've had clients that were like, is it okay if I. If you hold the baby and I go take a shower? Or it's like they're asking like, what are the rules? So you're all picking up what I'm putting down now. Here is the mic drop moment. You're so good at doing this for your clients. You're so good at teaching this to your clients. You're so good at spotting this in the labor and delivery room and in living rooms across America and the world. And yet, where are you doing the exact same thing in your life? Where are you doing the exact same thing in your business? Because your business is your life is your business if you're listening to this podcast. So where are you waiting for permission to do something in your business? Where are you hedging, waiting, not doing something because you think that's not the right way to do it? That's not. No one told me I could do it that way. This is, I think so fascinating. Because these are our lives, these are our businesses. And in Today's world, in 2026, we can do whatever we want. Yes, obviously, stay within the ethics of being a good doula. But beyond that, there are no doula police. There's no business police, there's the irs. So, yes, pay your taxes, keep good receipts, do the work. I'm not saying things like that. I'm saying like, create whatever kind of packages you want. Don't post in 15 Facebook groups. Like asking for permission from the other doulas. Oh, is it okay if I only do two prenatals instead of three? Is it okay if I do one prenatal virtually and one in person? Is it okay? There's so many posts that, yes, some are asking good questions, but sometimes the underlying question is that you're asking for permission. The other side of this coin is doing the things in your life and your business, saying yes to things in your business from your to your clients that you really don't want to do and you don't have to do them. So I want you to start. The first step is just noticing this as you go through your day on an hour by hour basis. The things that you're doing that are. Are you doing them because you want to be doing them, or are you doing them to people, Please, somebody, somewhere. And half the time speaking ask me how I know. Half the time you're people pleasing someone that doesn't even exist. I can't. I should have spent a little more time thinking about this. But I can't tell you the things I did as a new mom with my little ones. Cause I was just like, they're gonna say I should do it this way. And there were no people judging me. There were no people watching me. There were no people that were gonna get mad if I gave my kids a snack before nap time or something like that I wanted to do so. This is me. Doula Darcy is giving you permission to run your doula business, however you want to run your doula business with what feels really good in your gut and not what you think someone else thinks you should do. Not what all the other doulas in town are doing unless you want to. But my point is, you don't have to do things the way everyone else is doing them. And you don't have to have to wait for anyone's permission to go for it. You don't have to wait for anyone's permission to build a business that feeds your soul, feeds your family, and has an amazing impact. Stop playing small. Stop hiding. Stop not posting on social media because you're like, I don't know what people are gonna say. I don't know what people are gonna think. You've probably heard me say, there's no doula police. Like, no one's gonna come after you. Yeah, you maybe get some hater comments, but those are probably people that actually wish they were doing what you were doing. So I don't know who needed to hear this, but I was thinking the other day and this, like, correlation just exploded in my mind between us helping our clients learn to stand up for themselves and how we aren't doing that in our own lives and our own businesses. So you only get to do this thing once, and I want you to do it the way you want to do it. So I hope this resonated. I hope this helped at least one people pleaser out there. And I can't wait to see how this helps you live your life on your own terms, run your business on your own terms, and do whatever you think you need to do and here and then in business, in terms of setting up your packages, structuring the way you send emails or whatever. Try it. You can always change it. Try stuff that feels good to you, and then try other stuff. There's my big business wisdom that I'm dropping for you today. So let me know what you thought. DM me on Instagram and let me know if this struck a chord with you.