Podcast Summary: The Doula Darcy Podcast
Episode: There Are No Doula Police (So Stop Asking for Permission)
Host: Darcy Sauers
Date: January 7, 2026
Overview
In this empowering solo episode, Darcy Sauers dives deep into the theme of autonomy and confidence for doulas in their business operations. Drawing parallels between the advocacy doulas provide to clients and the doubts they often carry in their own business decisions, Darcy’s main message is clear: there are no “doula police”, and you don’t need anyone’s permission to run your business your way. The episode challenges “people-pleasing” tendencies and encourages listeners to boldly chart their own course.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The “People Pleaser” Mindset in Doula Work
(00:41 – 02:45)
- Darcy identifies with “people pleasers” and draws on her experiences of people-pleasing for much of her life.
- Parallel with Doula Work:
- Doulas routinely coach clients to question authority—encouraging birth clients to ask about risks, benefits, and options rather than just “being a good patient.”
- Similarly, postpartum clients are often reassured that they don’t need permission to co-sleep, to stop breastfeeding, or even simply to take a shower.
- Quote:
"As birth doulas, it's our role to teach our clients that they can ask questions, they can ask for more time, they can ask about the risks and the benefits. They don't have to just show up and do what their doctor allows them to do, what their doctor gives them permission to do."
— Darcy (01:09)
2. Turning the Mirror Inward: Are You Waiting for Permission?
(02:45 – 04:50)
- Darcy points out that doulas are often adept at empowering clients but reluctant to empower themselves in business.
- Reflection Prompt: Where are you waiting for someone to tell you it’s okay to make changes or do things differently in your own practice?
- Modern Freedom:
- In today's world, within ethical and professional bounds, doulas have real autonomy to construct their businesses as they see fit.
- “There are no doula police. There's no business police, there's the IRS. So, yes, pay your taxes... but beyond that: create whatever kind of packages you want.”
— Darcy (03:33)
- Many online posts in doula groups are rooted in asking for permission, not just advice.
"Sometimes the underlying question is that you're asking for permission."
— Darcy (04:23)
3. Recognizing and Breaking Out of People-Pleasing Patterns
(04:50 – 07:10)
- First Step: Noticing as you go through your day whether your actions are motivated by personal desire or by an unseen compulsion to please others.
- Darcy shares candidly about her own experiences as a mother, often making decisions out of imagined judgment and fear of criticism that never materialized.
"Half the time you're people pleasing someone that doesn't even exist."
— Darcy (06:16) - She encourages doulas to stop saying yes to things they don’t actually want to do for clients.
4. Permission Granted: Build Your Own Path
(07:10 – 08:45)
- Darcy’s “Mic Drop Moment”:
- Doulas don’t need permission from peers, Facebook groups, or local conventions—unless it genuinely aligns with what they want.
- “This is me. Doula Darcy is giving you permission to run your doula business, however you want to run your doula business...”
— Darcy (07:19)
- Challenge: Stop hiding, playing small, or holding back from marketing and business growth efforts out of fear of disapproval.
- She reminds listeners: even in the rare case of receiving negative comments, these often come from those who wish they had such courage themselves.
5. Try, Reflect, Iterate: Business as a Living Process
(08:00 – 08:54)
- Actionable Wisdom:
- Experiment with packages, communication styles, and offerings. If it feels good to you, try it—and know you can always adjust later.
- “Try stuff that feels good to you, and then try other stuff. There's my big business wisdom that I'm dropping for you today.” — Darcy (08:48)
- Encouragement to DM feedback on how the episode resonated.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- 01:09 — “As birth doulas, it's our role to teach our clients that they can ask questions… They don't have to just show up and do what their doctor allows them to do...” — Darcy
- 03:33 — “There are no doula police. There's no business police, there's the IRS. So, yes, pay your taxes... but beyond that: create whatever kind of packages you want.” — Darcy
- 04:23 — “Sometimes the underlying question is that you're asking for permission.” — Darcy
- 06:16 — “Half the time you're people pleasing someone that doesn't even exist.” — Darcy
- 07:19 — “Doula Darcy is giving you permission to run your doula business, however you want to run your doula business...” — Darcy
- 07:59 — “You don't have to wait for anyone's permission to build a business that feeds your soul, feeds your family, and has an amazing impact.” — Darcy
- 08:48 — “Try stuff that feels good to you, and then try other stuff. There's my big business wisdom that I'm dropping for you today.” — Darcy
Important Timestamps
- 00:41 — Addressing people pleasing and parallels to doula work
- 02:45 — Challenging doulas to stop seeking permission in their business
- 03:33 — The “no doula police” philosophy
- 04:23 — Social media posts as veiled requests for permission
- 06:16 — Breaking the people-pleasing habit
- 07:19 — Explicit “permission” to run your doula business your way
- 08:00 — Encouragement to experiment and iterate in your business
Final Thoughts
Darcy’s episode is an uplifting push for doulas to recognize and release self-imposed limits. The core lesson is to extend to yourself the same advocacy, permission, and freedom you relay to your clients. By rejecting people-pleasing and striving for authenticity in business, doulas can build practices that are sustainable, enjoyable, and true to their vision.
Action Step: Notice where you’re waiting for permission—and go for what truly feels right to you, knowing that “there are no doula police.”
