What Men Get Right About Business with kaitlin McGreyes of Be Her Village

Summary

The Doula Darcy Podcast: What Men Get Right About Business with Kaitlin McGreyes of Be Her Village

Release Date: November 25, 2024

In this insightful episode of The Doula Darcy Podcast, host Darcy Sauers engages in a compelling conversation with Kaitlin McGreyes of Be Her Village. The discussion delves into the dynamics of business retreats, the importance of community among doulas, overcoming burnout, and innovative approaches to supporting mothers through behavioral economics. This summary captures the essence of their dialogue, enriched with notable quotes and timestamps for reference.

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1. Parallel Journeys and Shared Goals

Darcy opens the episode by introducing Kaitlin McGreyes, highlighting their shared visions in supporting doulas and families. Both have created platforms—Darcy’s Doula Village and Kaitlin’s Be Her Village—that use similar branding and colors, symbolizing their collaborative spirit rather than competition.

Kaitlin McGreyes [00:45]: "You created BE Her Village. I created my doula village. I'm showing my little clipboard. We have the same. Our logo. Our brands have the same color."

This alignment underscores their mutual commitment to empowering doulas through effective marketing and community support.

2. The Birth Worker Retreat: A Transformative Experience

The conversation shifts to their experience at a Birth Worker Retreat in Florida, where Kaitlin shares observations about traditional business retreats dominated by men and contrasts them with their own approach.

Kaitlin McGreyes [02:13]: "The men do it. Why can't we, like the men, create these three-day conferences at resorts and have their businesses pay for it?"

She recounts the serene setting of the retreat, emphasizing the blend of business discussions and relaxation, which fosters deeper connections and productive networking.

Kaitlin McGreyes [03:49]: "One of my very favorite. There was so much from that birth worker retreat that was so good... it was like what I did in corporate Darcy times, like attending trade shows and conferences that were so boring, but they were in, like, cool places."

3. In-Person Connections vs. Virtual Meetings

Kaitlin highlights the unique value of in-person interactions over virtual ones, citing how spontaneous conversations and relaxed environments lead to meaningful business growth.

Kaitlin McGreyes [06:10]: "There's so much value in that. And I have to say, it's like there. The sessions that we had were amazing... the in betweens are where that magic happens."

She reminisces about meeting Darcy on the beach, illustrating the organic and heartfelt connections formed during the retreat.

Kaitlin McGreyes [06:54]: "But like running into you on the beach walk, that was like. That was romantic. Like, some people running. We like."

4. Overcoming Burnout Through Community Support

The discussion turns to the pervasive issue of burnout among doulas and how building a supportive community can mitigate its effects. Kaitlin shares a personal story about seeking advice from a business advisor, who encouraged her and Darcy to prioritize team bonding over constant work.

Kaitlin McGreyes [12:05]: "The burnout is real. Don't not sign up because you're tired and burnt out. Sign up because you're tired and burnt out."

She emphasizes the importance of taking breaks and fostering a work environment that nurtures creativity and productivity.

Kaitlin McGreyes [14:05]: "We son the other side of it, it's like ping pong tables and snacks in the fridge. And where all your good ideas come from... when you walk and talk and exchange that energy."

5. Be Her Village: Innovating Maternal Support Through Behavioral Economics

Kaitlin introduces Be Her Village, an innovative platform designed to shift baby shower gifting from material products to supportive services for mothers. She explains the concept of behavioral economics, which underpins the platform’s success by aligning familiar behaviors with new, impactful actions.

Kaitlin McGreyes [28:18]: "Occam's razor. The shortest, easiest solution is just take some of that 12 billion from Jeff Bezos and Amazon and crap that you. They don't need."

Be Her Village allows friends and family to contribute financially to services like doula support, postpartum care, and lactation consultancy, directly benefiting mothers.

Kaitlin McGreyes [31:12]: "Instead of baby stuff, it's doulas. Instead of bouncers, it's pelvic floor support... All of us, all the doulas."

6. Addressing Systemic Challenges in Maternal Health

The episode delves into the systemic issues facing maternal health in the U.S., such as inadequate parental leave, lack of daycare, and insufficient postpartum support. Kaitlin and Darcy discuss how platforms like Be Her Village can bridge these gaps by redirecting funds towards essential services.

Kaitlin McGreyes [26:52]: "We are just preparing mothers. Wrong. As a country, we don't have the infrastructure for supporting a mother, period."

This conversation underscores the critical need for innovative solutions to support mothers beyond the traditional gift registry model, which often fails to address real postpartum challenges.

7. The Power of Collaboration Over Competition

Kaitlin and Darcy celebrate their collaborative efforts, emphasizing that their shared mission to support doulas and families is more significant than any competition. They highlight how their platforms complement each other, creating a unified front to compete against large corporations like Amazon.

Kaitlin McGreyes [35:21]: "I don't think you're my competition. I think Jeff Bezos is my competition."

This partnership exemplifies the strength of community-driven initiatives in making impactful changes within the doula and maternal support industries.

8. Call to Action: Join the Birth Worker Retreat and Be Her Village

As the episode concludes, Kaitlin passionately invites listeners to join the upcoming Birth Worker Retreat in Florida, highlighting the transformative experiences that await. She also encourages doulas to sign up for Be Her Village, where they can offer meaningful support to mothers through their services.

Kaitlin McGreyes [21:31]: "Come to this worker retreat with us if you're ready to go and level up your business. And come if you're tired. You're going to be in a room of doulas. We will take care of you."

Darcy echoes this sentiment, urging listeners to engage with their communities and leverage these platforms to enhance their doulas' impact.

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Key Takeaways

• In-Person Retreats Foster Genuine Connections: Unlike virtual meetings, in-person retreats provide an environment where meaningful business relationships and creative ideas flourish through relaxed interactions.

• Combating Burnout Requires Community Support: Building a supportive network among doulas can alleviate burnout, enhancing both personal well-being and business productivity.

• Innovative Gifting Solutions Address Real Needs: Platforms like Be Her Village revolutionize baby shower gifting by redirecting funds towards essential maternal services, ensuring gifts are both meaningful and impactful.

• Collaboration Over Competition Drives Change: Collaborative efforts between doulas and support platforms create a stronger, unified front against large corporations, fostering more significant industry-wide improvements.

• Systemic Issues Need Innovative Solutions: Addressing the gaps in maternal health support requires innovative approaches that go beyond traditional systems, ensuring comprehensive care for mothers.

Notable Quotes

• Kaitlin McGreyes [02:13]: "The men do it. Why can't we, like the men, create these three-day conferences at resorts and have their businesses pay for it?"

• Kaitlin McGreyes [14:05]: "We... have to rest is going to make you more productive or a fun two hours is going to make you more productive."

• Kaitlin McGreyes [26:52]: "We are just preparing mothers. Wrong. As a country, we don't have the infrastructure for supporting a mother, period."

• Kaitlin McGreyes [35:21]: "I don't think you're my competition. I think Jeff Bezos is my competition."

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Join the Movement

Listeners are encouraged to:

• Attend the Birth Worker Retreat: Connect with fellow doulas and birth workers in a supportive environment that fosters growth and collaboration.

• Sign Up for Be Her Village: Doulas can register their services, allowing friends and family to gift meaningful support to mothers through the platform.

• Engage with the Community: Join Darcy’s free Facebook community, The Doula Marketing Group, to dive deeper into strategies for growing a successful doula business.

By participating in these initiatives, doulas can enhance their businesses, support more families, and contribute to a more robust maternal support system.

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This episode of The Doula Darcy Podcast underscores the importance of community, innovative solutions, and collaborative efforts in transforming the doula and maternal support landscape. Through shared experiences and strategic initiatives, doulas are empowered to create fulfilling, impactful careers that significantly benefit families.

Transcript

[Darcy]

Welcome to the Doula Darcy podcast. I'm your host, Darcy, a business coach for doulas. And I love helping my fellow doulas master the art of marketing so that they can grow their businesses and help more families. On the podcast, I combine my decade of experience in Advertising with 14 years as a doula to empower other doulas with the marketing strategies and mindset shift gifts they need to attract more clients and create successful, fulfilling doula careers.

[Caitlin McRaes]

Whether you're just starting out as a.

[Darcy]

Doula or you're looking to take your doula business to the next level, you're in the right place. Let's go.

[Caitlin McRaes]

Hello and welcome to this episode of the Doula Darcy podcast. Thrilled to have my friend Caitlin McRaes of Be Her Village here on the podcast today. And we need to just start out with the fact that we're like twins from another mother in that we. You created BE Her Village. I created my doula village. I'm showing my little clipboard. We have the same. Our. Our logo. Our brands have the same color.

I think I'm wearing the color of your clipboard with that. Yes, yes.

Oh, oh. That's why I chose my brand colors, because those are the two colors I wear all the time. So anyway, we showed up to the birth worker retreat last year and Caitlyn's dress exactly matched my clipboard that I was carrying around. It's hilarious. I'll put the picture in the show notes of you.

Perfect.

And so. And we obviously get along famously, but more importantly, we have the same goal and we're going about it in two different ways, which I love. And we come at everything with the spirit of collaboration, not competition. And we want to take down Jeff Bezos. And one of my. I could just sit here and say my top 10 favorite Caitlin quotes, like things that you've said. One of them is, okay, let's.

That's the podcast. Perfect.

Like David Letterman Number 10, the doula should take down Jeff Bezos. And we're going to get into that. One of my favorite things that you said was when on the call when we were deciding to launch the birth worker retreat in Florida, you were like, the men do it. Why can't we, like the men, create these three day conferences at resorts and have their businesses pay for it? Like, why can't we?

And I was like, yes, not for nothing. I know I'm jumping my head. But not for nothing, when we had that gorgeous conference room at the end of that hallway overlooking the Gulf of Mexico with the most Sunny pelicans were flying by, dolphins were in the ocean. It was just the most beautiful setting. And we were in our, like, Zen. Just remember that feeling, Darcy. Oh, I can't wait to get back there. Anyway, while you're walking from the elevator down to that beautiful conference room, we saw the men. We saw the men. We saw the board. They have the little plaque on the outside of each one of each room as you're passing, saying, like, which board of directors is meeting for their annual retreat. And it's like they literally just pick a spot, spot on the map where it's warm and beautiful and their business pays for them to go have a meeting. And at that meeting, there's a real mix, right? Like, some business gets done, of course, but then a lot of relaxation gets done. A lot of business gets done in the hot tub. A lot of business gets done at the poolside bar. A lot of things happen when you're relaxed and you can network and you can connect and you can really get to know someone in a way that can't happen on Zoom. Yeah, that's the other side of it, right?

One of my very favorite. There was so much from that birth worker retreat that was so good. But walking by those conference rooms full of older men and I'm 50, like, they were older than me, and it was like, that was my old life. That's what I did in corporate Darcy times, like attending trade shows and conferences that were so boring, but they were in, like, cool places. But then there was a moment when I got on the elevator to go down to the lobby and there were two young women, like 20 somethings, and they had little suits on and they had their little lanyards that were declaring them that they were there for. It was like, remember, it was like trucking logistics or it was some.

It was something. It was a snooze fest. But yes, I just.

And they had their little clipboards and I was there in my flip. I had just presented and I was in a dress, but I had chose to wear flip flops because I flipping can. And I just looked over at them and I was like, oh, God, it's this little former version of corporate Darcy that was working so hard and climbing the ladder. And I was just like, I like where I am right now. Like, yeah, hanging out with doulas all day and going to the beach. It was amazing.

And still though, like, using the tools of that corporate world, right? And that's. That's my. And that's be her village of storage, which we'll get into. But that's what the birth worker retreat is. It's. Those things work. There's a reason why the businesses spend the money on it, because they're effective, because there's a return on that investment, because the time spent in those rooms with the relaxation, but also with those serious conversations helps grow the business.

That's why the highly valuable.

And so what this birth worker retreat does, and it makes me so excited, is it takes this. It's hard to have an executive retreat when you're a solo entrepreneur. It's hard to have a business retreat and a board meeting in Florida when you work in a partnership or when you have. When you're just on your own. And so what we're. What we've created, which is so exciting, is like that opportunity to get in the room, to have this mind meld, to get in the space of others that are behind you in their businesses, that are above you, beyond you in your business, and you're have already reached the goals you want to reach. And also people that are right at your level.

Yeah.

And it's. There's so much value in that. And I have to say, it's like there. The sessions that we had were amazing. We have more amazing. We've, like, really built that out this year. But the in betweens are where that magic happens. It's. And that's, I think, where a lot gets lost on Zoom. It's like you come for a Zoom meeting and you. You zoom it like you're just here. We are here for this reason. It is the walk to the elevator. It is sitting in a hot tub with Jane freaking Havens. That was. I think that was my peak of the whole retreat, besides meeting you, Darcy. But like running into you on the beach walk, that was like. That was. I wish there were cameras. That was like, romantic. Like, some people running. We like.

I think we like, ran towards each other hugging about to hug with the palm trees in the background. It was amazing.

It was amazing. But like this. There was so much in between of. Okay, so we've done the session and we've gotten invigorated. We have this joint point of thought and a departure. And then go in the hot tub and then meet in the lobby. The lobby stations.

Yes.

The lobby's when you get there, if you're joining us, which I really hope you are. They had these, like, big, like, wicker sort of chairs. Yes. And they were so cool because they were gorgeous and also felt like my mother's bedroom from the 1980s. And also created like this cool thing where you're in one room but there were all these like private areas to talk.

There were so many little nooks in that lobby. That was so great. And that. So you mentioned that we've built out like the sessions that are, they're going to be even more awesome this year. But we've also built that out like we put in more time breaks so those authentic random kismet communication connections can happen. Like walks on the beach.

Walks on the beach. Morning, going to lunch, somebody's going to the gym. I did not volunteer to lead that. But we're gonna. If you want to go to the gym, you could go to the gym. But that was. Yeah, we had those. And we're doing that even more because that was part of the magic was this just like being on the grounds of the resort, being around the beach and the pier and the sunset walks and all of that. I'm so excited about it. But it's really, it's hard to put into words how valuable that in person time with other birth workers and other birth workers that will sign up for a retreat. It's like that's a self selecting group. Because there are a lot of birth workers who are just like no, that sounds like something I can't afford. That sounds like something I can't get off call.

I don't deserve that.

That sounds. Yeah, that's. I don't really. Or oh, I would love to do that eventually. But they don't see themselves in that space. Now the people who hear about this birth worker retreat and go, okay, I.

Need to be in that room.

I need to be in that room. This is valuable. And who understand that time working on your business is more important than time working in your business. That the day to day, the emails, the calls, the text, the, the managing your business is of course that's how your business runs. But the time spent on your business thinking about the trajectory and it's. I want to mention it is intentional that we hold this in January. Yes, first of all, January is cold and dark. So that's for us here in the north, for us here in the northeast. But it also is this point of like where you pause after the holidays. Most of us are mothers, most of us have families and there's this. And honestly even if you're not and don't there's this rush that happens in the holidays. It starts right now, mid thanks, mid Thanksgiving. We're basically in mid Thanksgiving, mid November where the Thanksgiving, the friends giving all this has started already. And then the holiday consumption and the wrapping shopping and the. The feasts and the happy hours. Yeah, those things. It's just so over scheduled with lovely, wonderful events.

Yeah.

But not a lot of time to think about your business. Not a lot of time for extra. Your customers are distracted. The inquiries start drying up a little bit in January, everything has a reset and there's this beautiful opportunity to say to yourself, what am I going to do this year?

Yeah.

To contemplate. Where am I going to take this? You get to reflect. Where did I take it in 2024? And what am I doing? And part of a big part of our retreat is that ability to dream. You don't even have to have that question answered. You actually get to come and talk to other people and sit in these sessions and think about what might be and. And leave with a clear idea of where you want to take your business and how to do that. And have exchanged emails and roomed and went to dinner with people that can make that happen. That can actually tangibly grow your business.

And that energy, just collective community energy is so infectious that even if you come with no ideas or even if you come burned out and tired and unmotivated, I always noticed that on a smaller scale, just in my community. Like I'd have times in my doula business where I was a little wah wah, but then I'd meet up for coffee with. With three or four of my local doula friends and we'd come out of there. So we're gonna change the world. So it's the same like gathering, putting yourself in a room with, as you said, doulas, birth workers, sleep consultants, newborn care specialists, who are also choosing to put themselves in that room. It's magic. And we all want you to be there. So the other thing is, and I think this is a good segue to me with my doula village. And you would be her village. That community, that quote like that. It takes a village to raise a child. It takes a village to be a doula. Whatever community is everything.

Everything. It's the only thing I want to just. Darcy, you just touched on such an important thing. I'm sorry, I know we are short on time, but.

No, go ahead.

The burnout is real. Don't not sign up because you're tired and burnt out. Sign up because you're tired and burnt out. Both of us have business advisors, both of us have mentors. Both of us pay and engage with people because we are. We know that's what we have to do. To run and grow our businesses. So last week, vulnerable moment. Last week, we got on our call with our advisor and we were like, we're tired. We're so tired. And we're. We were just like, not. We're normally, we're like, yeah, happiness and gifts and blah, blah, blah. Like, we're like, have so many ideas all at once. And we just got on and we were like, tired. And what he said to us was so interesting, it surprised me because I thought he was gonna be like, all right, let's get into it and let's figure it out. And he was like, yeah, you guys need to have a team happy. What are you doing? You're thinking too much about your business. Like, you are. You're getting so into the weeds on things and you're like, when's the last time the three of you, my co founders and I, when's the last time you guys had any fun, like, together? And we were like, oh, it's been a while. Probably Florida retreat, really. And so his prescription for us was that was a Thursday we met was Friday. Instead of sitting on a Zoom call all day, he said, have the company order you in food, order you in drinks, and have a cocktail and a meal together and just bullshit. Don't talk about work. Like, just have fun. And I ever the skeptic was like, and even though I know it to be true, but when you're. It's hard. So that's why I'm like. When I was like, that's dumb. I'm not doing that. And jd, my partner, was like, no, no, we're doing that. He said to do that. We're doing that. And I was like, fine, but it's a waste of a day. It's like this feeling of we have to go. You feel like you have so little time. Listen, we all have kids and soccer and all the things. And so the next day, we did not do like our quote unquote work.

We sat there counterintuitive to think that resting is going to make you more productive or a fun two hours is going to make you more productive. But that's why all those. I'm aging myself. But like around y2k and the dot com boom, like all those big companies started to put in ping pong tables and snacks in the fridge. And part. Some people were like that, my God, these kids today can't handle working.

But that's where all your good ideas come from. I don't have good ideas when I'm looking at a spreadsheet. I have good ideas when I'm walking and talking and exchanging that energy. And not for nothing, but every single time I go on vacation or go to a retreat or go to a conference or just take that pause from that work, my business grows. Oh, and I don't understand it. And I'm like, wait, am I the hindrance? But wait, don't think too hard on that. But it's so true every time. Every single time.

We were having at the main doula retreat for my doula village, our main doula retreat. I talk about this all the time that every time I go away, I make money. And we started to hear everybody's phones make that little. And so the doulas were like, I just. Somebody just booked. Someone just booked me. Like, it's true.

You. That was happening at the birth worker retreat. Sorry, do you remember? I think it was during my talk, somebody was like, I don't know how to handle. Like, they, they had like, inquiries while we. The room. And we were like, cool, wait until the business coaching. It's later today. But it's unbelievable. And there's. I don't get it. But it just happens every time you get stuck when you're in that rote mode of what you should do and when you get unblocked, when you get in the room. And what's better to unblock than getting in the room with doulas? Right. It just flows and your business starts to just grow and expand.

Well, not to get all woo, but you get back into the energy and the passion that inspired you to become a doula, that inspired you to create Be her village. And then there's times and we'll get into this a little bit more. But Be her village. You're up against the multi billion dollar gift industry doulas. We're up against the, like, maternal mortality crisis. Like, it can get heavy. Yes. And so when you get back to the joy of why you started your business, it makes everything better. And what I want to point out is it's hilarious. We started this podcast off by ripping men that were going to conferences and business retreats, and now we're singing the praises of this guy that's go to happy hour.

But the thing is, it's true. It works. And, And I think part of the sort of men are doing is because women aren't doing it. And I know that's a Rand generalization, but it's freaking true. You know, women are working ourselves to the bone, taking care of every single other person. And that pattern of behavior Shows up in our businesses.

Yes.

Where we work ourselves to the bone. We do not fill our own cup. And everybody suffers because of it. And so the same way your family suffers when. When I don't have my cup full. My God. My kids are like, what's. Why are you yelling? I'm like, I'm sorry. I just have not seen sunshine in four days. It's just. They can tell. And you know what? Your business, the same way your kids are not going to thrive when you're yelling at them and when you're feeling stressed about them. The light of our lives, the children we love, our business feels that same thing. And that result when you shift into that calm state.

Oh, it's like when you take your family on vacation and the kids aren't fighting, you're not fighting with your spouse. Everybody's having fun. And it's the same concept.

Like, it's wild. It's just wild to me, and I love it. And vacation mode. I don't know if everybody else does this. Like, vacation modes. We're on vacation. There's like a. There's a mindset. Shift into allowing things that you wouldn't normally allow.

This is a. This is big because you touched on it. Like, the whole, like, women as martyrs. Like, we have to give everything to our kids, to our families, to our homes, to our businesses, especially doulas. Like, just really bending over backwards for our clients with no time for ourselves. It's all connected. Like, it. That doesn't work.

That doesn't work. That I have found, and I don't know if you found this, probably I have found that my business reflects back at me where I need to grow. Oh, like the place I'm getting stuck in my business. It's just like kids. It's a mirror. It's big, ugly sometimes, and sometimes beautiful mirror. It's a big, truthful mirror. And the place where I'm getting stuck on this. Oh, that's actually. That's the thing. It really gives you this. This unbelievably infinite chance to, like, try something and see your pattern. Try to, like, you have to shift. And it's this. It's not. I think when I first became a business owner, I thought of it as here is my business. It is in a box separate from me. And the more that I have grown into it and. And just blood, sweat, and tears. Right though that's the phrase. And it becomes part of you, and it actually is just an extension of you. You. And so go ahead.

Of course, we're on the same wavelength. I've been talking about this, I think two podcast episodes ago that we. Our business as women, as moms, whatever, doulas our businesses are not. I used to think the same thing. Okay, my business is over here and my mom life, home is over here. It's not. We just. We have a life and our business is just one part of that life. And you're so right about what's getting blocked up in your business is the same what's just getting blocked up in yourself. The patterns that are coming up. I talk about this a lot in terms of sometimes the best thing I can do for my business is hire someone to help me at home. There's no. There's nothing I can cut out of my. I was looking at this recently. Okay, maybe what are some. What's some waste I can trim in my business? There's none. I don't even spend that much money for my business except to go on retreats. But oh, my God, can I trim the cable bill? Pay someone to clean my bathrooms? Can I pay for meal delivery service? And that just makes it all better. Like when you think of your every aspect of your life as equally important.

Yes. If my inbox and my email is full, chances are my sink is full of dishes. There is this. There is this. I either have a clean house and I'm right on target with my business, or everything has collapsed and I'm doing bad at all of it. And it all stems back to one thing, which is me. It's me. Am I taking care of myself? Am I eating the right things? Am I sleeping? Am I in community, we don't think of community as eating and breathing and sleeping, but it's right up there.

Necessary. Yeah.

Oh, my goodness. And it just feels good. And it's hard to put your finger on it, but it is. Come to this worker retreat with us if you're ready to go and level up your business. And come if you're tired. Come if you're tired. You're going to be in a room of doulas. We will take care of you. Yes.

And also, there's no rules. Like you can come and nap the whole time, like you don't have, which.

Some people did last year. And I thought that was so cool that they just got off a flight and they were just like, I am the most tired of everybody. I'm going to go to my room. And they still loved the retreat because.

They had a great time.

It was a space holder. Away from your kids, away from your family. Away from your day to day, away from your chores to just exist in this place and dip your toe in where you're ready. And also feel free to go read a book by the pool in the sun. And it was just or out of the sun depending on your where you are in your skincare routine.

Where you are in your seasonal depression, seasonal affective disorder.

That's the other thing. It's like peak time for that that I, I, I think everybody has to suffer. But I absolutely suffer from sad seasonal effect of drift. The sun goes away. How could we not? And this January 5th, 13th, 14th, 15th. That is such a great time to remember the sun exists. And where we are in Florida, not for nothing, it's always we're on the west coast of Florida. It's like an hour or two. Like when it's the sun is setting at 4:45. It's setting at 6:30.

Yes, 6:30.

It's.

And then it sets later and then it sets into the ocean. Like it's stunningly gorgeous and it really is.

And we're having a doula speed dating event the first night there. God.

We're having a book club. We're having everything.

We're having fireside brunch. Brunch. A kickoff brunch. Yeah, I know there's so many things that we're having because I know. So yeah.

Should we head to thebirthworkerretreat.com get all the details? You can save a hundred dollars this week with coupon code retreat100 but it's.

Over at the end of November. So don't wait.

Do it now because we have to.

We're gonna have to switch gears very shortly into the tickets. The doors are closed now we're now we're planning menus and our goodie bags. One of the swag bags. And like we have the cutest ones. I wish I had it next to me but I still use mine to this day. Oh wa do have it. It's over on the bed. But yes it we're switching gears into the final room bookings and planning. So now is the time to buy your ticket and just treat yourself and let your business pay for it and write it off on your taxes like.

And have fun and watch the money.

Taxes or go on a retreat. I don't know. It feels very black and white for me.

It's like a no brainer for me at this point. Okay, so let's get into how we both have the same goal in that our ultimate goal is that more families have Access to doula support. Yes, I go about achieving that by helping doulas with their marketing. You go, you're all, you're a birth doula and. And worked as a birth doula for many years. And then you created Be Her Village as a way to help families register for doula services, as a way to help doulas get paid. And I just. This is again on the top 10 list of things Caitlin has said that blow my mind. How many billion dollars is 12 at least.

That was like our calculation, the baby registry gift. The baby gift industry is at a minimum on its slowest year. $12 billion just in the US in a year. In a year.

So you're saying why spend that on gifts? People should spend that on doulas and you make it easy for that to happen. So tell us about Be Her Village.

Yeah, so Be Her Village is basically the result of me knowing nothing, being a special ed teacher in New York City, not having any idea this was the trajectory, but being like the average American mom. You get pregnant, you have a baby shower, you go beep, beep, boop. Like on either on the website or in the store. I think I probably went to the store and you just, you get told you need all this baby gear. So I got it. I got all the best stuff and then I had my baby. I was like, oh my God, what just happened to me? I felt like I got hit by a bus. And I just so distinctly remember sitting in my nursery where I poured all of my time and energy, surrounded by the diapers and the clothes and the crib and the bouncer and this and then that, all the things and just looking at this baby like, what do I do? How do I put you down? How do I feed you? Breastfeeding wasn't working well, he was a high needs baby. Still a high needs kid. Love him to death, but my God, that neurodiversity really starts early. And he just would not let me put him down. And I had a C section I didn't plan for. And not for nothing, I had a nursery full of stuff and I didn't have.

That wasn't helping you.

I was lost and I was alone and I was just like, this doesn't feel like the way we're supposed to prepare. However, I have to be honest, back up. I actually didn't say that. Then I said I messed up. Oh, I wasn't ready. I didn't do this right.

I'm doing something wrong.

It's my fault because I'm failing at being A mother. Oh, God, that's a horrible feeling.

It is. I and I had the same.

You know who else had the same exact feeling? Everyone.

Everyone who's had a baby.

And it took me becoming a doula and having a different birth and having a different experience and helping hundreds of families to look around and go, oh, this wasn't my fault. This wasn't my fault. We are just preparing mothers. Wrong. As a country, we don't have the infrastructure for supporting a mother, period. Supporting families. There's no parental leave, there's no daycare. There's no lactation consultants. There's no in home postpartum care. There's nothing. You get sent home with a baby. We'll see in six weeks. Hope breastfeeding works out. Like, probably after your C section, which had. For my first. It is just. We know as doulas. I'm speaking. I'm preaching to the choir. We know how bad it is. And so I thought to myself, what if we do this differently? And, like, how do we get people doulas? The answer is money, right? Yeah. And I know. And there are just so many wonderful people. You see the Medicaid coverage happening. You see all these shifts and insurance coverage. Maven clinic care, like, there's like little spurts here and there happening.

Yeah.

But it's spotty, it's uneven. It is paperwork, Phil. It is just. It is not the solution that moms need right in the second. And it's not the solution doulas need right in the second. We should work on that. Sure. And we should speak. And I have testified at New York State, there are lots of intricacies. There's a lot of gray in those areas. But the bottom line is there's $12 billion being spent on new moms, and it's being spent on the wrong things like that.

Occam's razor. The shortest, easiest solution is just take some of that 12 billion from Jeff Bezos and Amazon and crap that you. They don't need.

That actually creates more stress because now you have crap all over your house.

Right.

It breaks, it buzzes. It doesn't really do the trick. Right. It's not as good as a human being. And it makes a lot of promises that set parents up for failure.

Right.

Feelings of failure, maybe even is more accurate. And so what I did, and I've since learned from a maternal healthcare researcher that we're working with, which was a dual client of mine who I love very much. And she said, oh, this is behavioral economics. And I was like, I don't know what that means. And she.

It sounds great.

Great. Yes. She's. Her name is Shilpa and she's the most lovely human being. And I love her because she comes, we will meet together and she will just say all these really smart things and go, oh, you thought of this. And I go, I did not, Shilpa. But you are describing what I did with great words. So she said that behavioral economics is basically where you take a familiar behavior that people know how to do. Like buying a gift off a gift. Gift registry, like creating a gift registry and you just shift one thing about it. So the shift with Be Her Village is. It's just like a normal gift registry. Create a registry, you can shop around, you can get gifts, you can share it with your friends and family. It's like everything people know how to do already. Except instead of baby stuff, it's doulas. Instead of bouncers, it's pelvic floor support. Instead of cribs, it is meals and laundry and mom groups and postpartum care, and it's all the things. And instead of a box at a baby shower, it's cash directly into mom's account to pay for those out of pocket costs. All of us, all of the doulas. Right. And it has been a really wild journey because I will be the first one to admit that I have no idea what I'm doing. Like none. But that has never stopped me before from doing anything. And we launched this and we had no idea what we were doing, but we got on the phone with doulas and we got on the phone with parents and we introduced it and we invited people to use it. And as they gave us feedback, we changed it and we did this and we just tried. And we said, will people register for support? That was question number one. Are parents even comfortable doing this? Yes. Yeah, wildly. And secondly, and probably most importantly, will their friends and family actually gift them something towards support or are people still really into that? We've had almost $400,000 of cash for doulas, postpartum care, mom groups, home birth fees, midwife fees, tongue tie releases, lactation care, massages, yoga, just anything. The people that you need to care for you in that birth, pregnancy, postpartum time. That's the baby shower gift you're getting on Be Her Village.

And I think that's some. You're touching on something that the gift givers like this too, because I remember baby showers before I had a baby and the ones after I had a baby, like buying Those gifts after I had experienced the reality of a newborn. Excuse me, a newborn. I, I remember I buying like a box of bottles or an outfit and being like this is dumb.

I know they don't, I don't like, I don't.

I know they don't need this but I have to show up with a gift. So I think their friends and family. Absolutely. You want to give them something that they're actually, that they actually need and will use and that will be helpful to them and that they will be grateful for. So everybody can head to behervillage.com and create a profile. Right?

Yes. And any birth workers who are listening the products on our shelves. Are you. It's. We are. We're not going to sell stuff. We introduce new parents who are like I think I need this to you. We literally show them all the people in their local community and it's called completely free to sign up. So if you have not already signed up.

Yeah.

What are you waiting for? Go. It's very easy. Go to be HerVillage.com. click, get started and you'll just be taken and you just, you just throw your information in there. Throw up some services. It's very easy. We've worked long and hard to make it incredibly easy to do.

Yes. I got all excited. I got an email yesterday that said a mom is looking at your adding your services to her registry. And I was like hey. It was like that automated email. So I'm like yay. It's. I love, I love it.

So I get those emails too and I, it's my favorite thing. Like I don't. I just get this is happening on the website and I get. Somebody was just added. Somebody was just gifted money. Somebody just got their registry fully funded. This. It's just so cool to see the activity happening. Yeah. It's just the greatest thing because what needs to happen.

I know. And again I just love your brain in that. So me from a marketing standpoint I was like okay, people coming, paying for doulas, like that's got to come out of their household budget or this or that or take away from something else. And you have created this thing where it doesn't takes away from something that what we nobody needed in the first place. So it's like.

And not for nothing but like the village that we like to think of. I think most people think the village is like our friends and family and co workers. They know that you need hands on in person support. They know that but they're working or they're Far away or they're busy or they are a little toxic and they. And you don't want them humming, but they know that. And so what better gift instead of sending a product in your place to. To send funds towards a professional, towards something that actually is impactful. It's. I think it's part of why we've been so successful even while learning so much along the way is because there is something that really is like, right about this for the gift buyers as well. And it redirects that community funds and it becomes be her village. It's a call to action. Go and give her a gift that actually will support her. And it's the coolest thing. So I. Darcy, I can't even begin to tell you how much I love you. Number one. But also just the synergy that the two of us have had and the lack of competition and the collaboration and the just shared goal. It was on our first meeting that I said, I really, I don't think you're my competition. I think Jeff Bezos is my competition. And not for nothing, I think Jeff Bezos, who has since stepped out or whatever, but still is all of our competition. I think that there's billions of dollars a year that are being spent in the retail space because doulas aren't working together to have that mouthpiece. And part of what we're doing here is creating this tool so that doulas can. So that we can tap into that retail space, that baby shower space.

I love it and I love you so much. And I cannot wait to be together on the beach in Florida in a few weeks. And now everybody listening, you see why Caitlin is the best. And I'm thinking just this conversation, I'm totally like, re. Energized and motivated to go take on the world after this. So everybody come hang out with Caitlin and I and so many other amazing doulas and people and birth workers in Florida at the birth worker retreat. Check out be her village and. And comment on this podcast and share with all the doulas that you know. Caitlin, thank you so much for all that you do and for taking the time today to come chat with me. We could have gone on for hours.

For hours. And maybe we should book another 500. Maybe we should. But really, thank you. I love you and I cannot wait to see you in person.

Thank you.

[Darcy]

Thank you for tuning in to the Doula Darcy podcast. I hope you found this episode valuable and I'd love for you to join me on the next one. Let's keep the conversation going. Shoot me a DM on Instagram thedula Darcy or join my free Facebook community, the Doula Marketing Group, where we dive deeper into growing your doula business. If you enjoyed the episode, please take a moment to rate and review the podcast on your favorite platform. Your feedback will will help more doulas discover the show, which in turn helps more families find the doula support that they need. And I believe that that is how we save the.