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Dr. Mark Hyman
Coming up on this episode of the Doctor's Pharmacy.
Unknown Speaker 1
But the reality is that at the mental level, at the atomic level, at the physical level, at the cosmic level, at the most minute levels possible, everything is constantly, constantly changing. And if we don't embrace that truth, then it's going to hurt.
Dr. Mark Hyman
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Unknown Speaker 1
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Unknown Speaker 2
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Unknown Speaker 1
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Dr. Mark Hyman
Into today's episode, I'd like to note that while I wish I could help everyone via my personal practice, there's simply not enough time for me to do this at this scale. And that's why I've been busy building several passion projects to help you better understand. Well, you if you're looking for data about your biology, check out Function Health for Real Time Lab Insights. If you're in need of deepening your knowledge around your health journey, check out my membership Community Hymen Hive. And if you're looking for curated and trusted supplements and health products for your routine, visit. Visit my website Supplement Store for a summary of my favorite and tested products. Hi, I'm Dr. Mark Hyman, a practicing physician and proponent of systems medicine, a framework to help you understand the why or the root cause of your symptoms. Welcome to the Doctor's Pharmacy. Every week I bring on interesting guests to discuss the latest topics in the field of functional medicine and do a deep dive on how these topics pertain to your health. In today's episode, I have some interesting discussions with other experts in the field. So let's just jump right in.
Unknown Speaker 1
A lot of the suffering that we encounter in our minds is because we reject impermanence. We reject change. And that creates so much mental tension, so much mental struggle. Because we, you know, there are things that we really like in life and we want them to stay the same. We want the people that we like to be there. We want the situations to remain in a way that continue feeding that sort of calmness and pleasantness of life. But the reality is that at the mental level, at the atomic level, at the physical level, at the cosmic level, at the most minute levels possible, everything is constantly, constantly changing. And if we don't embrace that truth, that sort of natural flow of nature that's just constantly moving forward, then it's going to hurt. It's going to hurt a lot. Because no matter how hard we try, we just can't keep things the same. We may be able to elongate things sometimes, but ultimately whatever arises will pass away. And that doesn't need to be a truth that strikes fear in you. And that's something that I've been sort of working on in my own life and writing about, is that a lot of times our relationship with change is one that's based on fear. But it can actually be, you know, that relationship can be evolved into one that's quite inspiring, where I know that I'm not always going to be here. I know that this situation won't be here. So let me bring presence into this situation. Let me bring my attention here. Let me really try my best to connect with the people who are around me, who are crossing my path in this moment, because it's a special. Like, we're not always going to have this. So, like, what that has done, it's morphed my relationship with my wife, morphed my relationship with my mom and dad. And these moments that we do share and we're able to connect, it's like, wow, like, they're so precious. And I'm more so grateful to change because if you think about it fundamentally, if the universe wasn't constantly changing, if everything was static, you and I would not be here. Nothing would exist. There would be. No one would be here. So because of change, you and I can exist. We can learn, we can love, we can grow, we can, you know, really flourish and evolve. So change is difficult, but it also gives us an incredible opportunity.
Dr. Mark Hyman
It's true. But it's a tough one for people because people get comfortable with the way things are and they live in the fear of what's not here or what's going to change. And I can tell you, at 63, I just turned 63, and impermanence definitely has a lot more relevance for me.
Unknown Speaker 1
I bet.
Unknown Speaker 3
Yeah.
Dr. Mark Hyman
And whether I live another 10 years or 50 or 80 years, maybe I'm hoping I'm dying at 180. We'll see how that goes. Maybe you got 120.
Unknown Speaker 1
Do it for the rest of us, man. Yeah, I feel like it's a good goal.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Maybe I got another 120 years left. We'll see. But I think, you know, regardless, there's an end. And I think the preciousness of every Interaction of every moment, of every person is really a beautiful meditation because it brings you into the present moment. Of course, if you feel like crap, if you're not, well, if, you know. So there's a. There's a saying that, you know, a healthy man wants many things, a sick man wants one thing. Right? I think. So There. There is for sure that. And I think I personally have become much more clued into the preciousness of everything, like in every moment and every sunset of every experience I'm having. And David White, who's a poet who I love, talks about being in friendship with all things, which is realizing that you're in relationship with everything. The Native Americans have a. Have a prayer called meta koyasana, which means, like, to all my relations, to all the living and breathing things, to the rocks. Everything. Literally, you're in relationship with everything all the time. And I think we get pulled out of that when we're so attached to our own sort of individual self, our own ego, our own sense of separateness, which is really an illusion. And so I think, you know, I'm curious about how you kind of come to share with people this sort of illusion of separateness that it's.
Unknown Speaker 1
You know, it kind of. What you're saying now reminds me of something you said a little earlier. And there's that very common quote that's attributed to a number of people. But, you know, it's. We don't see things as we are. We don't see things as they are. We see them as we are. And what I try to do with some of my writing is like, expand on that, right? When we're interacting with reality, what is our perception doing? Our perception is actually seeing reality through our emotional history. It's seeing reality and not just through that emotional history that we carry from our past, but it's combined with whatever is our current emotion. So we're seeing reality through these really thick lenses. And that sort of enhances that attachment that we have towards basically tying whatever we're seeing in the present to something that happened in the past. And if anything in the present is sort of. We're slightly reminding us of something positive or negative from the past. And immediately our emotions will just flow in these old directions and we'll be repeating the past over and over again. So that creates a situation where I may be meeting someone and I won't be able to fully appreciate them because I'll just be seeing them through my own gunk, through the all the old sort of conditioning that I've been carrying in my mind. And you won't be able to see that sort of unity or the potential love or the depth of a connection that could really be there because you're just looking at them through the unhealed parts of yourself.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yeah. Some of the things that I think happen in this framework of personal development, self help and growth are this phenomenon called spiritual bypass, where people can do all the yoga, meditation, all these practices, but they really haven't dealt with their fundamental framework and beliefs and their conditioning, whether it's their epigenetics and inheriting trauma from past generations and just being a human on the planet, you know, let's face it, it's been a hard thing over the last few hundred thousand years, and that's, that's literally wired into our DNA, whether it's our own trauma from our own personal stories. And I, I sort of really have had a lot of recent sort of relationship with, you know, the world I came into, with my mother and father being in a very conflictual relationship, My father not wanting me, my wanting an abortion. I mean, my mother being alone and depressed, you know, during her pregnancy, and me being born into this environment and what that did just to my epigenetics and, you know, activating my sympathetic nervous system as a, as a place of, in the world, as a place of danger and having to just deal with that. And each of us have our own story. And so how do we sort of deal with the traumas? And whether they're big traumas like abuse or micro traumas of just growing up in a dysfunctional family or a relationship, how do we take the things that you've learned as part of your self discovery and discovery of how to be in relationship to yourself and relationship to others and sort of heal that without doing the spiritual bypass?
Unknown Speaker 1
Yeah, I think that's a great question. I find that this really sort of brings in what we were talking about in regards to impermanence, because we want to allow impermanence to influence our understanding of our own identity. So we should allow ourselves to learn about our past, to see the way our relationship with our parents and whatnot affects the way that we show up in life today and allow these things to inform us. But the moment that our trauma becomes our identity, then it makes for a very rigid healing situation. Because if we're like, oh, this is how I am because of this moment and I'm always going to be like this, or this is how I constantly see myself, then it's going to slow down your evolution. So in some Ways I think we can do our best to understand ourselves, but then we also have to let it go. Because it's like, okay, I'm a changing, growing being, so let me flow with nature and allow myself to develop new interests, new likes, you know, let go of old parts of myself that don't really serve me anymore and start letting my idea of who I am just continue blossoming. And in terms of spiritual bypassing, I think it's tough because the human mind can only process so much information at once. That's the reality of it, is that we can't process everything at once. And I think we get a little confused by the fact that the technological world of today is so fast and information is constantly coming our way. We're constantly being inundated, and it's exhausting. You don't quite realize how much you take in and how much energy that burns because you're processing all of that. So one of our challenges is to be able to develop our awareness and expand our awareness, but also in a sustainable manner. Because there are times where, you know, you're going through a hard time and, you know, staying connected to every single part of everything that's happening in the world, it. That may not actually serve you. And in other times, you know, you want to be active, you want to be out there, you want to stay very informed. But those may be, you know, one year of your life versus another year of your life. And understanding that we have very different capacities. Like, you know, there may be people out there who can not only, you know, have a beautiful business, but then they're also part of all these different organizations, and they're out there actively trying to change the world, and they're, you know, doing all these amazing things, and that's fantastic. You're helping all of us. Great. But then there are other people who have experienced so much trauma that all they can do is heal themselves. But that's also beautiful. You're actually serving us by just focusing on healing yourself. Because if you heal yourself and you increase your ability to love yourself, well, then that means you're going to be less likely to harm yourself and other people.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yeah, yeah, I think that's true. And I think. I think, you know, one of the most helpful sort of frameworks I've ever learned about my own mind is that every. Every emotion, every time I'm triggered, every belief I have is just my own interpretation of reality that I project my worldview onto the world. And so when I step back and go, okay, this is just like One version of reality. This is not necessarily the truth with a capital T. Then I can get free from believing all these stupid thoughts. My friend Daniel Amen talks about ants, automatic negative thoughts, right? He says, don't believe every stupid thought you have. And I think a lot of us are so embedded with our thoughts. And that's the beauty of meditation, is it sort of creates this slowing down so you can kind of watch your arising and you're coming and going your thoughts and realize that you're not your thoughts, you're not your emotions, you're not your beliefs, you're not your body, you're not any of these things. And so. And I shared this on the podcast before, but I almost died about six years ago, and I really had, you know, was in bed for six months and just unable to function and lost 30 pounds and was. Was in really just this almost vegetative state. And I. And I was in anything. I was in my mind, I was in my body. I couldn't answer an email, I couldn't do anything. And I just lay there. And I just got to be in the experience of this sort of place, which actually was very happy and blissful, even despite the fact that my body was in agonizing pain.
Unknown Speaker 1
I was.
Dr. Mark Hyman
I was sort of surrendered into this kind of peacefulness. And it's hard to explain, but I realized that at that moment, I. Everything changed for me, and the ideas that I'd had sort of conceptually became more experiential. And it was a very powerful moment to kind of start to sort of reorient my life to be more in integrity. And I think sort of the next topic I want to talk about was integrity and honesty. And I think you talk about this concept in your book, Lighter Radical Honesty.
Unknown Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah.
Dr. Mark Hyman
What's radical honesty? And why is it so important to have that? And what does that look like for each of us?
Unknown Speaker 1
Yeah, radical honesty is just so critical, so valuable, especially as the first step. And even before I started meditating, I found that, you know, I had no technique, I had no process. I didn't know how to really engage with my emotions, but I knew what the problem was. And the problem was that I had gotten to that rock bottom moment by continuously lying to myself. I did not want to admit to myself that I did not feel good. And when I realized, and I finally admit that, I was like, I'm not okay. Like, I don't feel good. I have way too much anxiety, way too much sadness. And that first acceptance of me just being like, okay, this is true. And now I can more so move forward. But I started realizing that I need to repeat that over and over again whenever I feel tension, instead of trying to roll up another joint or just go find some way to just run away from myself, let me just sit with this discomfort. Let me feel whatever's there as opposed to trying to scrub it away or ignore it in some manner. And radical honesty, it's a term that's been out there for a long time, but the way that I use the term is honesty between you and yourself. It's not about you and other people. This is just about you and yourself and whatever is coming up inside of you. And I think that being able to develop that radical honesty, it's a critical part of self love. And when you are able to see what's inside of you and accept what's there, whether it's good or bad, then that will actually slowly start building your courage, building your inner strength, and you'll start actually seeing that the sort of tough emotions that you're having, they're actually not as fearful and as dangerous and as scary as you originally thought they were. Because I would run, you know, as if I was being chased by like a, you know, animal or something like that. And once I started sitting with my anxiety, I was like, yeah, this sucks, but it's not that bad. I'm okay. Like, it's, this isn't going to take me out.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yeah, yeah, that's so. So being radically honest is hard because you have to be honest with yourself. You have to be honest with how you see yourself and your beliefs and your thoughts and almost take a third party view of yourself because you get so attached to who we are and our identity and our beliefs about ourselves, and it's just so hard to undo that. Right? So, you know, doing this work and sort of letting go of these old stories and, you know, learning about letting go, how do, how do we put that into practice? Like, you know, letting go is really hard. Some struggle with it and we often make things harder for ourselves. So why, why is letting go so important? And how do we have to keep doing this practice of letting go as part of our life?
Unknown Speaker 1
Well, this, this really, you know, to what you were saying earlier about you realizing how you were creating your own narrative of what was happening in front of you. And one thing that I really appreciate that, you know, the Buddha and my teacher Sn Goenko talks about is how wisdom is actually you being able to see things from different perspectives, so not just from your own Perspective, but seeing whatever the truth may be from different angles and being able to see your own angle, put yourself in the feet of another person, just see the complexity of the situation as opposed to just creating some simplified, self centered story. That's just, this was not my fault, this is somebody else's fault. But seeing your own, you know, what, what was, what is the role that you played in this situation and how may someone else have seen it? I think that can be so informing to your ability to let go. Because that's probably one of the first things we need to let go of is like, okay, I do have this one perception of what's happening in this moment, but there's more, there's more to understand and people are seeing this in other ways. But letting go, I think it's the crux of healing. It's quite necessary to be able to even somehow process your emotions and let them go. Because we don't realize that as soon as we're born, right. We're constantly reacting and every reaction, it creates an imprint on the mind, it molds the subconscious. And this doesn't stop at childhood. And I think that's one of the things that I think a lot of modern therapists kind of really hone in on those like first seven or so years of life. And they're very formative, but it doesn't stop there. You know, the big events that happen to you later, you know, the heartbreaks, the loss, the, you know, the accident that you were talking about that you went through, these created massive imprints in your mind that are still playing themselves out, that are still affecting the way that you act now. But it's, you're acting now in relation to what happened before. And the letting go part is letting go of the energy of the past that you're still carrying, that you're still bringing into the present over and over again. And the beautiful part of the, this modern age that we live in is that there's a lot of ways to let go. You know, like I let go through meditating. Other people let go through the, you know, practices that their therapist may teach them. There's just a lot of different ways to go about it. And there's no like sort of one to five step like this is how you let go. But knowing that the letting go often involves, really always involves you coming back to the present moment.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, I think it's hard because we get, we do get so attached to our worldview and it's. And we think, you know, it Sort of come apart if we, if we actually let go of what happened to us or if we move on or if we don't hold on to things. But you know, I think we, we tend to poison ourselves by this constant holding on to our ways of seeing in whether it's in relationship or to ourselves. And I think one of the challenge for people, and I noticed this for myself, which people may find hard to explain given that I'm successful and you know, blah blah, blah, is, you know, I, I realized that I had a certain level of self worth and self love but I really wasn't fully in it and, and it sort of undermined my ability to love others, to actually choose the things that were good for me in life, to say yes to what was good and to say no to what didn't resonate with me. And so how do, how do you kind of help guide people towards more self acceptance, more self love, more self worth? Because it's sort of easy to talk about, but it's hard to do.
Unknown Speaker 1
Yeah, it is hard to do and it's also hard to do in relation to like what society has or like what consumerism has created in regards to self love where it's you know, self love in terms of just kind of pleasing yourself, just like buying more things, giving your, you know, just the consumerist aspect of it. But I think real self love, it is you basically trying actively and continuously to get to know yourself and to do whatever it is you need to do to heal yourself and free yourself. So that self love, it's really an internal dynamic and it is hard. It's not something that's going to be easy. But the reason that we come back to it, the reason that I keep coming back to it personally is like I literally can't make a bigger investment. Like it's the best investment that I could make. You know, I could be out there working and doing all these things, but all of it will just not, whatever I may produce will not be as good if I don't have a strong ability to accept myself deeply, a strong ability to balance that with self love and understand that I should love myself deeply. But there's also things that I can, different directions that I can grow in that will help me become a better version of myself and just continue showing up into the world in a way that, you know, honors the emotions that I'm feeling but is still, you know, showing up in a way that I feel really genuinely good about.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yeah, it's sort of, sort of an internal journey first but then, you know, the harder part is in being in a relationship, right. With our family, our co workers, or our partner. You know, Rob Das talks about how, you know, if you think you're enlightened, just go home for Thanksgiving.
Unknown Speaker 3
Right, right, right.
Dr. Mark Hyman
And I think that's the challenge for many of us is that we sort of to maybe reconstruct our reality where we think we're moving in the right direction. And we may be, but then, you know, we find ourselves in relationship acting out these old unconscious patterns. So how. How can our relationships be part of our healing as opposed to creating more trauma for us, which they often do?
Unknown Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah, it's. It's tough because relationships are sort of like incubators for growth, whether we want them to be or not. You know, they. They really accelerate us, seeing the different parts of ourselves that are good and the really tough parts. I think whenever egos are in proximity of each other, it's only a short, limited amount of time until there's conflict because egos are rough. And when they rub up against each other, the friction is created. So we cannot help but find difficulties in the people that we love, but being able to understand that, that it's not just about them, that the initial reaction may be you pointing the finger and being like, you made me feel this way. But when you develop self awareness and you start realizing that, actually, I may have actually just gotten less hours of sleep last night, and this is why I woke up and didn't feel good. But then my mind wanted to figure out how this is your fault and place the blame on someone else. So, yeah, there's one common practice that my wife and I try to do is we do our best to let each other know where we are in our emotional spectrum. And we let each other know, like, how do I feel right now? Instead of it sort of snowballing into this bigger narrative, we try to cut that narrative by just being in contact with each other about how we feel in the moment pretty constantly.
Dr. Mark Hyman
And so you wake up in the morning and you go, hey, I'm feeling this. How are you feeling? Or how do you do that? In practice, you have like a time to check in every day or so.
Unknown Speaker 1
The practice is really, you know, it's us checking in first thing in the morning. It's just letting us know, like, okay, either I feel like a lot of anxiety passing through me right now, or I feel heavy right now, or my mood feels really short. That information not only helps the person who's feeling it acknowledge and own the Fact that, okay, I don't feel great right now, I'm not going to try to fake it. And it lets your partner know, okay, that, you know, let me figure out ways to support them or just give them space or, you know, whatever it is. So that we're both aware that one of us is a little short today. And it's been really funny because there was this one particular moment where, you know, my wife and I, my, my wife was feeling tough that day and her and I were working in different rooms because we were both working from home at that time. And, you know, we hadn't talked to each other for about like two, two and a half hours. And then she comes in and she's like, you know, I just spent the last, like three hours trying to figure out how, you know, me not feeling good right now is your fault. And she was like, it was so crazy. Like, it was totally illogical, like, had nothing to do with you. And there are these times where, you know, certainly the tough moments of our past will play into how we feel and how we act and really the way that our character shows up. But it's not always like that in the minutia of like regular everyday life where really sometimes it is because like, maybe the day before I had too much sugar and now my mood's super low the next day or I didn't get enough sleep last night and now like, you know, I feel tired. And what happens when you're tired? Then you get angry. You know, you like it. Being able to be aware of these things and honest with yourself and your partner or those around you who are with you. I think it actually stops a lot, a lot of unnecessary arguments from happening because surely sometimes your partner will say something to you that they should apologize for. But I would say 90% of the time it's like you just jumping through these illogical hoops trying to create a problem when there really is not a problem there.
Dr. Mark Hyman
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Unknown Speaker 2
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Unknown Speaker 1
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Unknown Speaker 3
It feels good to give, but it.
Unknown Speaker 1
Feels great to give. Tommy John Find something for everyone and pick up something for yourself because at Tommy John, greatness is in our very fabric.
Unknown Speaker 2
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Unknown Speaker 1
See site for details.
Dr. Mark Hyman
18 years from tonight, Grant Gill will.
Unknown Speaker 3
Become a comedy legend when he totally kills it at his improv classes, graduation performance, knees will be slapped. Hilarity will ensue.
Unknown Speaker 2
That's why he's already keeping himself in.
Dr. Mark Hyman
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Unknown Speaker 2
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Unknown Speaker 3
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Unknown Speaker 1
Learn more at aarp.org healthyliving.
Dr. Mark Hyman
This episode is brought to you by Etsy. Oh, hear that. Ok, thank you. Etsy knows these aren't the sounds of holiday gifting. Well, not the ones you're hoping for. You want squeals of delight, Happy tears? How did you. And spontaneously written songs of joy. I am so happy.
Unknown Speaker 2
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Oh yeah. Um, okay, the song needs a bit of work, but anyway, to get those reactions, make sure everyone on your list feels heard with handmade, handpicked and designed gifts from small shops on ets. Gifts like personalized jewelry, custom artwork, cozy style items, vintage pieces, and home decor to celebrate all of your favorite People and their specific kind of special. For original gifts that say I get you.
Unknown Speaker 2
Etsy has it if you're stuck in a pattern that's causing suffering. Rain again, it's a weave of mindfulness and self compassion. And the letters, it's an acronym, are recognize, allow, investigate, and nurture. And I'll give you an example of rain. I'll give you a personal example. This was, you know, through the pandemic, people have used rain a lot. So I get people telling me, you know, rain has saved my life. Well, when my mother moved down here, and this was. Oh, she moved down here when she was maybe 78 or 80. She came right at a time, super busy. I was trying to put together all the material for a new book and so on. And I was really torn because I was feeling very guilty about not spending enough time with her. And I was also feeling anxious about getting work done and coming through on my teachings. Now, this is a basic cluster for me. If you say, what are your issues? Guilt. Like, I am very programmed to want to come through for everybody and very, you know, I get a lot of angst when I feel like I'm falling short. So that's a whole story cluster. And then the other one is, you know, on the Enneagram, if you're familiar, is I'm a three, which is a performer who wants to make sure she's coming across well. And so I get anxious about not being prepared. So those were playing out. And I remember one day I was right here in my office, and she came in. She was living here then, and she had a New Yorker article she wanted to show me. And I was completely focused on my screen writing a talk, believe it or not, on loving kindness, which is embarrassing, but that's what I was doing.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Get out of here.
Unknown Speaker 3
You're busy.
Dr. Mark Hyman
I'm ready.
Unknown Speaker 3
Right, right.
Unknown Speaker 2
You're in my way, you know. And so she was very discreet. She just put it down and started retreating. And I turned and I saw her and I thought, wow, I don't know how long I'll have her, you know. So after she left, I did a practice with rain. And the recognize is recognizing. Okay? Guilt, but also anxious. The allow is just what we were talking about earlier, Mark, which is, okay, just let it be here. This is the reality of this moment. It's here. Just not try to judge it or ignore it. Okay? Anxiety, guilt, the investigate. It's not cognitive. That's an important piece. It's cognitive. Only you might identify what you're believing. And for me, I was believing, well, I'm letting her down, but I'm also going to. Could fail. But it's mostly somatic with investigate. You're investigating how am I experiencing this directly in my body. And for me, I could feel the. Excuse me. I could feel the clutching, you know, in my chest and just the tightness and breathing with it, letting it be there and really sensing what that part of me, that anxious, guilty place needed. And what it really needed was to be reminded of my goodness that I was a loving being and that, you know, the truth would flow through in teaching. It wasn't going to take a whole lot of selfing to do it. And so that was the nurturing. The nurturing was to put. I like to put my hand on my heart and I often teach it with nurturing the self compassion, just to say, it's okay, sweetheart, you know, just trust your goodness and Right. There's a piece with rain where I call it after the rain, where you just sense the presence that is emerging. And after that kind of presence and compassion, I could just feel I was resting in a much larger, more peaceful, more spacious, more tender place. And I practiced this a lot more for a few months when my mom. This was still the early days of her being here, and I found that I started really showing up more. Like we could have our salads in the evening, these giant salads, and I'd just be present and we'd go for our walks and by the river and she died. Not. She died maybe three years later. And you know, deep grief, of course, but not regrets. And I realized that rain had saved my life. Moments with my mother, you know, it had really given me that. And so it's just an example of how I'd been caught in the stories and the feelings. And by interrupting with rain, which is just mindfulness and compassion, it really shifted my inner patterning.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yeah, that's beautiful. I mean, it's a beautiful way of framing a way of investigating and thinking about any feelings we're having or any emotions or any thoughts you're having. It's like. It's just like a deliberate, clear practice. You know, recognize, allow and investigate and nurture the really simple ideas, but they. They're really powerful. I'm kind of moved by the thinking about applying that to things that I have challenges with. So I think it's great.
Unknown Speaker 2
One of the things about it that's helpful to people is that when we're triggered, we have very little access to a prefrontal cortex. We forget how to get back Home again. And so this gives a pretty easy to remember sequence. It's not inviolable, you know, if once you go deeper into the practice, you'll find that, you know, it's not so logically, you know, abcd, but doesn't matter. There's still a way in which those elements are crucial. Now if there's trauma, you know, if the triggering is traumatic, you actually have to start with the nurturing. You have to start by creating more safety before you, before you dive in and try to feel the feelings. And that's an important thing for people to know.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Wow. Yeah. So sometimes the order is different of how you engage with that practice. Right. Sometimes the dark and the shadows is where the light actually starts to come in. And I know you've suffered a number of really challenging situations in your life. Your mother's alcoholism, miscarriage, genetic issues that you have that, you know, you struggle with. I've certainly had issues, you know, of health crises and family issues and relationship stuff and, you know, and just life itself and. And you know, some people can be really in some ways poisoned by those experiences and, and turn dark and bitter and angry and hurt and isolated and. And yet many people find a different way out of those experiences into a very different way of being. So for you, how your hardship shaped you and how those difficulties led you to find your way towards mindfulness.
Unknown Speaker 2
Well, first I want to agree with you that suffering does have a potential to wake us up. And. Well, maybe just to give you an example of how I got turned towards mindfulness. When I was in college, I was probably peaking in angst. I wasn't alone, I had many others angsting, but depression, anxiety, and it really kind of the hub of it was just a lot of self hatred. And I remember at one point being on a camping trip with a friend who said, you know, I'm learning to be my own best friend and how far I was from that. So it just kind of opened up my eyes to, oh my gosh, you know, I hate my body. I feel like I'm failing in my relationships with others. I'm, you know, compulsively overeating. I'm not producing, you know, just every front. So that was, that was a real pit of suffering. And interestingly, at the same time, I was very much a social activist. So I was out there, you know, and on the weekends we'd have rallies and there was a lot of agitation there. But I started doing a yoga class. So weekends I was agitated and then Tuesday nights, you know, and it was yoga and meditation. And I remember one night, Mark, where I was, it was right after class. I was walking home and it was spring and fragrance of the fruit trees. And I stopped and realized that my body and my mind were in the same place at the same time.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Wow, what a discovery.
Unknown Speaker 2
Amazing. And with that, just such a feeling of peace and belonging to the world. And what really hit me then was, you know, if we want to change our world, it really has to come from a consciousness that is feeling love and connectedness, not agitation and shaking a fist at bad enemy others.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Right.
Unknown Speaker 2
So it was those two things together. You know, the sense of this is really who I can be. And also being at war with myself that I made a kind of 180°. I was on my way to law school and I ended up in an Ashram for 10 years.
Unknown Speaker 1
Wow.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Wow.
Unknown Speaker 2
Yeah, it was a big shift.
Dr. Mark Hyman
That's a law school to ashram. You couldn't get further apart, I don't think.
Unknown Speaker 2
I know I keep double taking on it, but yeah, yeah, that's what happened. And in a way I understand it now because I'm still really very dedicated to social change. And I know we have to keep on waking up our hearts in order to have it come from. From love, not from anger and hatred.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yeah, I mean, you know, you sort of touched on a little bit about the self worth issue. And I think, you know, I think people have different degrees of self worth or lack of self worth and often they're not even aware of. And I think this is true for me, not even aware of where the lack of self worth lives. And I've always thought of myself as someone who's fairly, you know, fairly confident in my. In myself and my abilities, that I love myself, that I feel like I have high levels of self worth. But there was a lot of areas where I really wasn't showing up that way.
Unknown Speaker 1
And I.
Dr. Mark Hyman
It really was hard for me to see it. And I think you call this the trance of unworthiness. You know, that you were caught in this trans. About there was something, always something wrong with life with you. How did, how did you first sort of wake into the idea that you could let go of that story and really accept yourself.
Unknown Speaker 2
Well, for a lot of us, it's like what you said, it doesn't necessarily appear to us. And the reason I call it a trance is because most people, if I ask them, I do this at workshops, you know, how many of you judge yourself and like 98% of the hands will go up, but what people don't realize is that there's often this undercurrent of comparing ourselves to some idealized standard of who we should be or how we should feel or what we should be, how we should be behaving in this moment. It's like this inner monitor, like right now, as we're doing this, there's a background inner monitor that in some way is evaluating so how's it going? That kind of a thing. And often we're not aware that there's a gap between how we want ourselves to be and how we're showing up. We're just not aware of it. And it can affect everything because, you know, we're social beings and we want to be accepted and loved. And if we feel we're falling short, it's profoundly threatening. And so we're not aware that there's that kind of fear and self doubt. And it impacts how close we can feel with others. And it impacts how much risk we can take, you know, at work, or our willingness to be creative or just our ability to relax in the moment if we think we're in some way in the red and we have to make up for it. So it's a trance. And the cool thing is that when we shine a light on it and even get that there's this trance going on, there is something in us that has a yearning to be free from it and it starts activating, healing. So just seeing the trance is the beginning of freeing from it.
Dr. Mark Hyman
So in a way, some way you're saying is that people don't recognize that they are engaged in this battle with themselves, against themselves, that they judge themselves, that they criticize themselves, that they see themselves in ways that are less than, and that they're measuring themselves against some standard of themselves that is just a fantasy. And that, that disconnect, that disparity is what causes suffering for people and that they're not even aware that they're doing.
Unknown Speaker 2
It and that we all have been fed those standards. It's like, I'm not thinking my thoughts, I'm thinking society's thoughts about how I should be. You know, and we all have been conditioned by the same culture that says, you know, produce more and look this way and act this way, and you know, everything from, you know, how skinny we should be to how spiritual we should be be, we have these standards and our family is the messenger. And so they imprinted in a certain kind of constellation. But it's in there.
Dr. Mark Hyman
It's so true. I mean, we go through life thinking that Our beliefs, our ideas, our feelings, our thoughts are all original. They come from us. That they're. You know, we don't realize how powerfully conditioned we are to behave and think and act in certain ways. And if you travel a lot, you know, if you meet people from different cultures, especially radically different cultures, not Western cultures, you begin to see that, wow, that's a really whole set of different assumptions and beliefs and feelings and thoughts about life. I mean, I was just in Sardinia, and I was up in the mountains, and I was with this shepherd, and. And we're sitting there talking and, you know, about his life and what it's like, and. And I said, so, do you have any stress? Like, you know, he's. He's. He's got, like, 200 goats and sheep and. Well, he thought about it, and he's like. He almost. It was a puzzling question for him, you know, and he says, well, you know, sometimes at night, when a goat kind of wanders off, and that's. I had to go find it. That's stressful.
Unknown Speaker 2
Like, oh, my God.
Dr. Mark Hyman
And then sometimes, like, it's. You know, when the goats give birth, then we have to move. The mother's close to the house, and then they wake us up in the night, and we have to go help them. And I'm like, oh, okay. So, you know, it's like, we are just in such different worlds. And he just had such a glow about him, such a, you know, sereneness. And his whole family was there helping with, you know, the. Their. Their home and the whole shepherding thing. And I was like, wow, you know, we really have different points of cultural reference about life and joy and happiness and meaning. And we've all gotten, you know, and I. I was thinking about this today, Tara. I was thinking about how, you know, people from other cultures are quite different. So when I meet people from different cultures, I'm like, wow. They're. They're a frame of reference. Their way of seeing the world. The. You know, the. They're seeing the world through their eyes gives me a very different perspective about life. And it's. It's kind of liberating because I realized that all of my beliefs, thoughts of what I should do, my notions, beliefs, ideas about how life should be, what I should be, what I should be, or not doing, are so programmed and ingrained and never really begun to question them or question those thoughts about them.
Unknown Speaker 3
In education, when you go to medical school, the doctor doesn't say, believe you're a doctor and you'll be fine. And you can practice. No way. You have to study biology, you have to study anatomy, you have to study chemistry, pharmacology, blah, blah, blah. So Buddhism is like that. You have to study it. No authority can just tell you it's like so and so, and then you believe it, and that's that. And that's why the Four Noble Truths, the sort of main framework of Buddhism, they translated as truth. And that's not wrong. But if you translated it as the four Noble Facts. Facts, that would be better. Yeah, yeah. In other words, aspects of reality.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yes.
Unknown Speaker 3
And the first one is, if you don't know what it is, you're going to misunderstand where you are, who you are and where you are, and you're going to suffer. But you can learn what it is. That's the big kicker. Everyone else tells you. In school, the religious people told me, you can't understand anything. You just have to believe. And you have to believe whether it makes sense to you or not. Just believe. And I said, I don't like that. I refuse. That's no good. And then there's a great joke on that. You know the joke about that, the theologians joke?
Dr. Mark Hyman
No.
Unknown Speaker 3
Where a theologian was asking the congregation, like, define faith. Tell me, folks, what is faith? Can you tell me? And nobody would speak, you know, so then the little Johnny in the front row was going, like, I can tell, I can tell. And he didn't go to him because he was a little kid. Then finally, nobody grown up would speak. So he says, well, you all should be ashamed yourself. Little John is the only one who's answering the question. Okay, little Johnny, you tell these good people here, what is faith? He says, oh, I can say I know what it is. Well, what is it? He says, faith is believing what you know ain't true. Langdon Gilke, theologian at University of Chicago, told me that joke. I love it. Jokes are a little bit cynical.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 3
Anyway, anyway, so the point is, you just. You can understand yourself and the world, and you can. You don't have to be Einstein. Every human being with a brain is a kind of Einstein, if they develop it, you know, and that's what he said. The human life is so fortunate not because we animals are not former humans. They are. But because they have souls, etc. That. He's like Albert Schweitzer. Buddha was like Schweitzer on that one.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 3
But the point is, you have the ability to understand 1 and 2. You have to understand to be happy. And when you really understand your world, you will be happy. So you know, we kind of misinterpret.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Our reality and that's what causes the suffering.
Unknown Speaker 3
Exactly. And then in concert, and then, and then they reinforce our misinterpretation by telling us ignorance is bliss. You don't want to know what it is because you'd be so scared of it, you know, and they misinterpret Darwin as thinking that it's red in nature, red in tooth and claw, you know, they're going to all destroy us if we don't have nuclear weapons or something, which is absolutely wrong, you know, and. But the point is, you know, even death that they tell us is so terrible and scary, and they threaten us with hell and things like that. Then the scientists, they tell you, oh yeah, we don't believe all that, we're atheists and etc. And then. But we also think we're looking to understand this gene and this atom and this subatomic particle and that bacteria and this virus. But we know that we'll never know everything, so we still never will know. So we just always keep looking for more stuff. But we have a preconceived idea that you can't understand everything. If any scientists jumped up and said, eureka, I know everything now, like Buddha did, they would have him arrested or give him a tranquilizer, you know, because they have a preconceived idea that you also, you can't understand. Yeah, but then I used to ask them, well, if you can't understand everything, how do you know you can't understand? And they could never answer that one.
Dr. Mark Hyman
To me, Buddhism is the science of the mind.
Unknown Speaker 3
That's it. But it also says you, your mind, you, Mark Hyman, your mind, Bob Thurman, you, whoever it is, if you really develop your mind, it is capable of understanding the world. And therefore you can understand your world. Not only can you, but you experience it all the time.
Dr. Mark Hyman
You started with the four facts or the four truths.
Unknown Speaker 3
The first one is that if you don't understand it, you'll bring you suffering because you will always be dissatisfied with everything and you will not understand what you are and where you are. And so you'll be afraid that different bad things will happen to you. And so you'll fight things and you'll try to impose your own control on them rather than go with them. And then that will fail. And then you'll be frustrated and even happiness, what you think of as happiness, you'll be dissatisfied with because it won't last. And then you won't be joy it well enough to make it last, you actually can think there is a happiness that lasts, but not the sort of ones that depend on some external circumstance. So that's the first thing. Then second noble fact is that that suffering has a cause, and the causes are an inability to understand it, understand.
Dr. Mark Hyman
The nature of reality, right?
Unknown Speaker 3
No, no, no, that's just our habit. It actually is luckily less real than our ability to understand it. That's the good news. But in order to do that, we have to analyze it, we have to figure it out. And therefore he was a scientist, he figured things out, the Buddha did. And meditation is not just shutting down your mind, that's wrongly taught. Meditation. Meditation is focusing your mind to a very much higher degree of intelligence, which we all have the capacity for. And then we will reach an experience of what reality is. And the third level fact, and the reason they're called noble, is that they are factual for a noble person. They're not factual for an ignorant person, a person who.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Can I go back to the second one? Because my learning of that was that, you know, that the first is recognizing that we suffer, that the way we think about reality causes to suffer. The second is that we're attached to things being the certain way, and that that causes suffering. Is that a misunderstanding of the second?
Unknown Speaker 3
No, that's correct. But the certain way that we're attached to them is that we can't understand them. They are not us. They are vast. In the case of materialism, which is our mainstream view in America nowadays, it's a vast material realm that is, you know, nobody can count all the fish in the ocean, all this kind of thing. So you. It's quantum. Quantum knowledge is quantifiable, has to be. And you never will get to in an infinite universe. You'll never get to the full quantity ever. So our misunderstanding of the way things are has to do with our inability to be all right within everything you see. And the key component is that we're ignorant, but we know we're ignorant. So therefore we're attached to being ignorant, actually. And if we really realize what ignorance means, then we will realize that we don't know that we can't be sure that we're going to stay ignorant. And then we can change our mind. You follow me? So it's that first beginning point. It's a shift. That's the big shift. We can know and we can develop wisdom, and the wisdom can overcome that cause it's like that's the antidote, right? But wait, then the next thing is the third noble Fact. And the third noble fact is freedom from suffering, happiness. And this is what nobody, I'm afraid, really teaches. Well, who teaches Buddhism? They all stick on the suffering, and that's joining and terrorizing people. And the Buddhists themselves do that. And they say, oh, I'm so happy I'm allowed to suffer. That's nonsense. Nobody's allowing. Buddha doesn't want anybody to suffer. He's compassionate. He doesn't want them to suffer. That's the whole point. The recognition of the suffering is just a way of starting to cure it. It's like when you're a doctor, if you go into the patient and you say, oh, you had diabetic nya nya. You'll never get rid of that. Have you done the job as a doctor? I don't think so. You're just taunting people, basically. Right? That's no good. If you see a patient and they have a problem, sometimes you may have to say, I don't know how we can deal with this. Get ready to move on to a new life. But of course, that's a big problem. And that's a big problem for materialist doctors because they're trained that all people have is the physical life. So they don't know how to help them across that frontier, you know, which is actually not that bad once you let go. Actually, it's, you know, in French, you know, they have an expression for orgasm. You know what that is? Little death, le petit mort. And so that's. But that's not when you're fighting to stay alive. That's when you let go, you know, and you no longer burdened with a body that's malfunctioning. And then you think you're going to be nothing. And that, of course, is typical delusion. It's like science supposedly goes by experiencing things to experiment. And experimental. Experimental data is supposed to outweigh theory. Dogma, like everything is matter, for example. That's a big dogma. But experience is supposed to outweigh that. Right. And yet, which scientists discovered the nothing that a materialist is so certain they're going to when they die? Which one discovered that?
Dr. Mark Hyman
That's a great question. So if we think there's nothing after death, who proved that that's true? Nobody.
Unknown Speaker 3
Exactly. Exactly. Not only did nobody do it, but common sense will tell you nobody ever will.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 3
Because nothing is a word for something that you don't discover, and therefore you won't get there by dying.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 3
The law of thermodynamics, the conservation of energy goes for the mind, it's the conservation of energy of the mind. But exact what it is, well that's an open question and we can investigate. And science should be investigated. And Buddhist science investigated that thousands of years ago and has some descriptions. But this is also the great thing, they say that no description of relative reality is the final description, the dogma. Except for that, you know, that it's open. In other words, that it's always open for a little more refined, better analysis and helpful in this context. But all such explanations are only good in certain contexts and your mind is always open for a further, deeper understanding. So wait then, the fourth Noble Fact. The fourth Noble Fact is the Eightfold path of education. And here's where typical mistraining comes from. Buddhists, most Buddhists, they say, training they call it. But the word Adi Shiksha in Sanskrit or in Pali or in Tibetan, Shiksha today in Hindi is the word for the department of education in the Indian government. Shiksha.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Professor Thurman has a unique privilege because he speaks all these languages or he reads, he reads Tibetan. You speak Sanskrit.
Unknown Speaker 3
Yeah, but not Hindi.
Dr. Mark Hyman
But you speak Tibetan.
Unknown Speaker 3
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dr. Mark Hyman
And so, so you read the original text. So you don't have to go through a filter third party. You get to actually.
Unknown Speaker 3
Well, somewhere directly to the source. It all gets so rusty. I'm getting to where I can barely speak English.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Often you don't get.
Unknown Speaker 3
But the point is, the fourth noble truth, therefore is a curriculum. It's a higher education in reality. Science discovering reality, which is the job of science. Wisdom, which is the goal of science should be not just a quantifiable data list, but wisdom, ethics, you know, how to behave in a realistic manner and mind or meditation or how to cultivate your mind and how to manage your mind. So there's a higher educations in those three things. And the eight branches fit into these three. Higher education. But they say training. Why do they say training? I'll tell you why. Because in our culture we're all totally over educated.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 3
We've been four years here, eight years there, four years there, medical school, you know, totally. And we have these degrees and we're still pissed off, we're still suffering, still suffering and still frustrated. So we think, and of course we think our education is the greatest that ever happened on the planet and light in the universe, you know, maybe we're the only beings in the universe, we stupidly think. And also we, you know, that talk, you know, and then we think it's the greatest. So if we've had this huge education, it must suck. So we want to think that Buddhism is just empty your mind and then you're fine, don't have a mind. In other words, it's just absolutely the wrong thing to do. The greatest thing we have is the human mind. It's a little bit divine, you know.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 3
And we agree with the religions on that. And it's vulnerable. Which is the problem with the gods is they are divine, but they're too. They're just in their thousand year jacuzzi and they never do anything. So they were denial about the suffering, you know. But we are not because we bump into things, we stub our toes, you know. And so the point is it's an education process, but it's a higher adi. The adi part means higher adi shiksha, you know, intense education because you're educating your whole being, your mind and your body also. And this. I love that you said, you know, our body, you know, in your book, you say we have to. We have to do something with our body. Our body is. We are responsible for our body. When we save our body, we save the world.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yes.
Unknown Speaker 3
That's just. That's the fourth noble truth. That's the fourth noble truth.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 3
That is the education process.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 3
And it's like really a doctor with a patient, you know, this. And you call it functional medicine, but every doctor should do that. They have to educate the patient.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 3
The patient has gone wrong in this beautiful environment that is just suited for the human being. It's a perfect one for us if we didn't mess it up. You know, the plants are out there, they want. They're in love with us. Give me your carbon. They say, oh, I love that you breathe this carbon, noxious carbon. And I'm going to give you back oxygen because I love you. And it's a total gang bang with the plants.
Dr. Mark Hyman
There you go.
Unknown Speaker 3
But not if we screw them up. Not if we mess them up.
Dr. Mark Hyman
No. And so, Professor, I have a question. We're recording this podcast.
Unknown Speaker 3
Yes.
Dr. Mark Hyman
It's in the midst of the COVID 19 pandemic. We are not doing it in person because we're socially isolating and being responsible.
Unknown Speaker 3
I know.
Dr. Mark Hyman
And there are so many people suffering right now. There are so many people who lost their jobs, who have lost their purpose. Sort of like what John Lennon said, life. What happens when you're making other plans? And we all have other plans right now, including you and me and everybody in this together. And there's just such a massive global suffering of humanity. Yes. How do you Use Buddhism as a lens to help us think differently about this moment. And what can you offer in terms of some wisdom from your learnings about how to navigate this for all of us?
Unknown Speaker 3
Well, thank you for asking that. That's good and that's a great question. And the thing is this, first of all, you know, it is a suffering, but it just, it also, you know, first thing and first wisdom of Buddhism is ancient English Buddhism. Count your blessings. You know, if you're, if you have, if you're isolated but don't have the virus, hey, that's better than being sick. If you have the virus but you don't have a severe case, that's better than having dying. If you're dying, at least you know you're going to have another good life. If you notice that you're dying and you can't help it and you then realize you're not going to be nothing and also just because you believe in somebody else is going to help you, that necessarily is not good. But if you develop a positive view and relax yourself and let go into the light and you know, and there's movies that teach you how to do that, like Jacob's Ladder, like Ghosts, you know, there are movies even nowadays that help you do that and you just let go. Or you know, Close encounter of the third kind or 2010, you just go into one of those special effects zoom, you know, you let go of yourself and then you'll be out of the body. So in other words, no matter what, there's no worst case analysis. That is the ultimate horror. No, Buddhism teaches you to look for the silver lining and focus on that. On the other hand, it doesn't teach you passively to accept the bad stuff. And therefore you can demand that the government pay your unemployment insurance. You can demand that they stop the bank from foreclosing on your mortgage. You can demand that they take the hundreds of billions that they give to the corrupt corporations and they give it to you to grow your garden and they start subsidizing regenerative agriculture and they move 20 billion, we give $20 billion of direct subsidy to the oil industry which they use to lobby the government to buy the congressmen like the Moscow Mitch and other corrupt, also corrupt democratic congressmen. And the President. They buy the presidents are cheap. You give him a million dollars for his campaign and you get billions of dollars of subsidy. That's a total. That's like hiring some somebody on the street.
Dr. Mark Hyman
So it's interesting, a lot of Buddhists are political activists, right?
Unknown Speaker 3
Yeah, well, some not when they understand Buddhism as meaning shut yourself up in your shut down mind and just sit there and take the pain of sitting there uncomfortably.
Dr. Mark Hyman
But the Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, these are guys who are real political activists.
Unknown Speaker 3
Well of course they are. They not only activists, but they are activists. To be a political, any kind of activist has to be an educator. Educational activists, you don't hate the bad guys. You want to educate them. Sometimes people are harming you and you have to. Like even with demons. The Buddhists usually try not to kill the demons. They try not to now and then you have to have been self defense by accident. A bomb goes off. But they try to capture them, sit them down and get into the classroom with them. They have these legends of interminable multi life lectures going on with the demons. And then the demons shape up once they realize that that's not going to make them happy. To harm people and harm other beings, that never makes you happy because that increases your isolation. If you're harmful to someone, that means you don't identify with them and that means you're different from them. So you divided up the world and you have stuck yourself in isolation. So the fact that we're all in isolation now, if we are under a sensible government and with helping us to do that, to stop the plague, because our human life is so valuable, because it can give us the opportunity to understand the world.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 3
That is only showing us actually that we normally live in isolation. People are lonely, they are shut down. They watch, they go on Facebook instead of having a friend who's their neighbor. They don't build their community. They're purposely isolated by industrialization because that makes them potential brainwashable consumers. They can do as you said, 4,000 ads shown to children about some disgusting, poisonous, sugary color thing. They have to, they get brainwashed by the media so they don't want them to hang with their parents. And the parents who know about have a good doctor tell them, don't eat that stuff, don't drink that nasty diabeticity drink.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yes.
Unknown Speaker 3
So in other words, the isolation is imposed on us actually by industrial culture. You know Gerrymander's work. I'm sure you know that book four reasons why you threw out the television. Well, I don't, I don't agree with him. The ultimate bottom line, I don't agree. But his awareness of that these things are going to be so badly misused, which are actually good things.
Dr. Mark Hyman
But people are fearful now, right? So people are having fear. And, and how do we how do we change our relationship? That fear, instead of it shutting us down, how can it serve us? How do we change religion?
Unknown Speaker 3
Fear.
Dr. Mark Hyman
It's a tool to improve our lives.
Unknown Speaker 3
A great bodhisattva who was once our president, told us how the only thing to fear is fear itself. FDR one great Bodhisattva.
Dr. Mark Hyman
So what is a bodhisattva? For those listening who don't know, a.
Unknown Speaker 3
Bodhisattva or a noble person is someone who genuinely cares about other people. In other words. And in the Buddhist education, the technical barrier of it is beyond having a theory about I should care for other people. You begin to have. You open up your natural human empathy to feel what they feel, which we all have. Everyone feels that about a newborn baby, their newborn baby. It's compassion. Yeah, yeah. It's what's empathy. And compassion is empathy, actually. But it's not only empathy beyond empathy. It then is the sharing of happiness, is what it is, because the only way to get rid of suffering is to feel happy. So compassion wants to spread happiness. That's what it does.
Dr. Mark Hyman
So my understanding was the Bodhisattva is someone who's reached the gates of enlightenment.
Unknown Speaker 3
Yeah.
Dr. Mark Hyman
But rather than get there himself, turns back to help relieve the suffering of all sentient beings.
Unknown Speaker 3
That's right. That's right. And. But that's because that person. It isn't just just because this person is automatically nicer than someone else. It's because that person has investigated reality enough to realize that if, no matter how cushy they feel, if there's 10 people around them in agony, the vibe is going to destroy their sense of feeling happy. So we feel each other's feelings. You know, the 60s, we have this wonderful expression from the 60s, good vibrations and bad vibration. But that's. That's an. They have those kind of expressions in more enlightened languages than ours about how you do actually feel each other's feelings. You do do that.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 3
And of course we can. We cultivate that. Like. Like military people, they cultivate, but out of, you know, sort of riding on anger and hatred for the enemy. They cultivate a sense of expanding the kinship, empathy to your platoon members, to your nation, to your patriotism, you know, and only that far. And then they do it only as an opposite of the hatred for the enemy. So. But they chose that you can shift the way the mind of a person is, and. But it's very hard for the military, and it creates great suffering for the soldier because it means they have to do two opposite things at once. They have to cultivate their empathy for their fellow soldier and citizen supposedly, but meanwhile hatred for someone else, which means no empathy for them. So they put them in an internal conflict right away 100%, and that's then they come back with their PTSD and then pretty soon they don't have empathy for anybody and they're like Rambo. You know, they're impossible. The sheriff is going to get them. You know, they're going to get the sheriff. Sheriff. They're going to shoot the sheriff.
Dr. Mark Hyman
Thanks for listening today. If you love this podcast, please share it with your friends and family. Leave a comment on your own best practices on how you upgrade your health and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and follow me on all social media channels at Dr. Mark Hyman and we'll see you next time on the Doctor's Pharmacy. I'm always getting questions about my favorite books, podcasts, gadgets, supplements, recipes and lots more. And now you can have access to all of this information by signing up for my free Marks picks newsletter@drhiman.com MarkSpix I promise I'll only email you once a week on Fridays and I'll never share your email address or send you anything else besides my recommendations. These are the things that have helped me on my health journey and I hope they'll help you too. Again, that's drhiman.commarkspix thank you again and we'll see you next time on the Doctor's Pharmacy. This podcast is separate from my clinical practice at the Ultra Wellness center and my work at Cleveland Clinic and Function Health where I'm the Chief Medical Officer. This podcast represents my opinions and my guests opinions and neither myself nor the podcast endorses the views or statements of my guests. This podcast is for educational purposes only. This podcast is not a substitute for professional care by a doctor or other qualified medical professional. This podcast is provided on the understanding that it does not constitute medical or other professional advice or services. Now, if you're looking for your help in your journey, seek out a qualified medical practitioner. You can come see us at the Ultra Wellness center in Lenox, Massachusetts. Just go to ultrawellnesscenter.com if you're looking for a functional medicine practitioner near you, you can visit ifm.org and search find a Practitioner database. It's important that you have someone in your corner who is trained, who's a licensed healthcare practitioner and can help you make changes, especially when it comes to your health. Keeping this podcast free is part of my mission to bring practical ways of improving health to the general public. In keeping with that theme, I'd like to express gratitude to the sponsors that made today's podcast possible.
The Dr. Hyman Show: Episode Summary
Title: How to Break Free from Suffering: A Guide to Finding Inner Peace
Release Date: December 2, 2024
Host: Dr. Mark Hyman
In this enlightening episode of The Dr. Hyman Show, Dr. Mark Hyman delves deep into the intricate relationship between mental suffering, self-judgment, and the path to inner peace. Joined by a knowledgeable guest, the discussion navigates through concepts rooted in mindfulness, Buddhism, and functional medicine to provide listeners with actionable insights on overcoming personal struggles and fostering genuine self-love.
The conversation kicks off with a profound exploration of impermanence—the idea that everything in life is constantly changing. The guest emphasizes the importance of accepting this truth to alleviate mental suffering.
Guest: "At the mental level, at the atomic level, at the physical level, at the cosmic level, at the most minute levels possible, everything is constantly, constantly changing. And if we don't embrace that truth, then it's going to hurt."
(00:02)
Dr. Hyman reflects on the personal significance of impermanence, especially as he navigates aging and the evolving nature of relationships.
Dr. Mark Hyman: "At 63, impermanence definitely has a lot more relevance for me."
(06:21)
A significant portion of the discussion centers on the pervasive issue of self-judgment and its impact on one's self-worth. The guest introduces the concept of the "trance of unworthiness," a state where individuals unknowingly compare themselves to unrealistic standards, leading to continuous self-doubt and dissatisfaction.
Guest: "We all have been fed those standards. It's like, I'm not thinking my thoughts, I'm thinking society's thoughts about how I should be."
(46:51)
Dr. Hyman shares his personal journey of recognizing and combating these ingrained feelings of inadequacy, highlighting the challenge of overcoming societal conditioning.
The episode delves into the transformative power of radical honesty—the practice of being completely truthful with oneself about emotions and experiences. This honesty is portrayed as a cornerstone of self-love and personal growth.
Guest: "Radical honesty is honesty between you and yourself. It's critical for self-love."
(16:28)
Both speakers discuss techniques for letting go of past traumas and attachments, emphasizing the necessity of releasing rigid self-identifications to facilitate healing and evolution.
Guest: "Letting go of the energy of the past that you're still carrying into the present is the crux of healing."
(19:19)
The guest introduces the RAIN technique—a mindfulness tool comprising Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture—to help individuals navigate and process difficult emotions effectively.
Guest: "RAIN stands for Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture. It's a deliberate, clear practice."
(32:29)
Dr. Hyman relates this practice to his own experiences of near-death and the profound peace he found through mindfulness, underscoring its practical application in daily life.
A key theme is the role of relationships in personal healing. The guest shares strategies for fostering honest communication with partners to prevent misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts.
Guest: "We do our best to let each other know where we are in our emotional spectrum to support one another."
(26:52)
Dr. Hyman emphasizes that strong self-acceptance empowers individuals to set healthy boundaries and make choices aligned with their well-being.
Dr. Mark Hyman: "Understanding self-worth helps in choosing what resonates with us and saying no to what doesn't."
(24:30)
The discussion highlights how suffering, while painful, can serve as a catalyst for awakening and personal growth. Both speakers agree that confronting and understanding suffering leads to greater self-awareness and resilience.
Guest: "Suffering has the potential to wake us up and lead us towards mindfulness and self-compassion."
(39:58)
Dr. Hyman shares his transformative experience during a severe health crisis, illustrating how embracing suffering can lead to profound personal changes.
Dr. Mark Hyman: "I almost died about six years ago... It was a very powerful moment to reorient my life to be more in integrity."
(15:51)
Using Buddhist principles, the guest offers insights into managing global and personal crises, such as the COVID-19 pandemic. The emphasis is on cultivating compassion, empathy, and a deeper understanding of interconnectedness to navigate collective suffering.
Guest: "Buddhism teaches you to look for the silver lining and focus on that, not just passively accept the bad."
(66:09)
Dr. Hyman connects these teachings to societal issues, advocating for a balance between self-care and active participation in creating systemic change.
Fear is addressed as both a natural emotion and a tool for growth. The speakers discuss how to transform fear into a motivator for positive action rather than allowing it to paralyze individuals.
Guest: "The only thing to fear is fear itself... Cultivating empathy and compassion can help mitigate fear."
(72:10)
Dr. Hyman underscores the importance of understanding and managing fear to enhance mental and emotional resilience.
The episode wraps up with actionable advice on integrating mindfulness and radical honesty into daily routines to foster inner peace and reduce suffering. Dr. Hyman encourages listeners to embrace change, cultivate self-love, and engage in honest self-reflection as pathways to lasting well-being.
Dr. Mark Hyman: "Letting go is essential for self-acceptance and healing. It's an ongoing practice that transforms how we relate to ourselves and others."
(22:01)
This episode serves as a comprehensive guide for listeners seeking to break free from personal suffering and find genuine inner peace through mindfulness, self-acceptance, and compassionate living.