Caught My Husband Sexting an AI Chatbot

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dr. John Delony Show

Episode: “Caught My Husband Sexting an AI Chatbot”
Date: November 10, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode revolves around complex, evolving questions of trust, betrayal, and healing in modern relationships, focusing on a caller named Morgan, who discovered her husband was sexting with an AI chatbot designed to simulate erotic anime personas. Dr. John DeLoney provides candid, empathetic advice on dealing with this “digital affair,” its emotional fallout, and creating paths forward. The episode also includes two additional caller segments: one about navigating a violent conflict between a college student and his girlfriend’s parents, and another on the stress and partnership challenges faced by an expectant father of twins.
The tone is supportive and deeply honest, with heavyweight topics handled with both gravity and actionable advice.

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Key Segment 1: Morgan’s Story – Betrayal by AI

[00:20 – 22:10]

Main Discussion Points

• The Discovery
  Morgan, clearly distraught, shares that two weeks ago she found her husband using an AI chatbot (anime-based) to discuss his sexual fantasies. Her husband has a longstanding struggle with pornography addiction and typically is forthcoming about relapses.

• Reactions and Emotional Turmoil

  • Morgan describes feeling shocked, betrayed, "disgusted," and insecure—wondering “why is a fictitious cartoon robot more appealing than me?” ([05:47])
  • Dr. DeLoney reassures her: “You’re not crazy to have your heart broken and be disgusted and be weirded out…” ([05:47])

• Marriage and Family Context

  • Married nearly nine years, three young children (ages 6, 4, 2), husband is a good father and friend aside from his sexual acting out.

• Patterns of Disclosure and Burden
  Dr. DeLoney highlights the emotional toll when a partner is repeatedly honest about violating boundaries but doesn’t change behavior:

  “He comes to you openly and just has a cinder block and says, well, I did this thing that violates what we agreed on. Here, you carry this. I’m gonna go back…” ([08:26])

• Impact of the AI Chatbot

  • The chatbot “creates a character too…that will do whatever he types…cheer him on as he masturbates” ([05:25])
  • Dr. DeLoney underscores the seriousness: “I’m gonna call it a digital affair. He had an affair. And a really seedy, disturbing affair.” ([13:42])

Notable Quotes

• “You can’t unsee some of the stuff…in your husband’s head that he wanted to see expressed, that he was sexually excited by. It’s hard to unsee and unknow that.”
  — Dr. John DeLoney ([12:15])

• “I need you to reclaim autonomy in this moment…”
  — Dr. John DeLoney ([13:45])

Action Steps and Insights

• Set Clear Boundaries:
  Dr. DeLoney prescribes writing down what Morgan will and will not tolerate in her home, and defining what trust-building would look like if she chooses to stay in the marriage.

• Define the “Digital Affair”:
  He labels her husband’s behavior an “affair”—not minimizing it because the “other” is AI.

• Rebuilding (or Ending) the Marriage:

  • “You have to be honest with him about the grief and the fact that the marriage y’all had is over. Now, do you want to build a new one?” ([15:47])
  • If Morgan chooses to try rebuilding, it means clarity, accountability (including radical transparency and possible restrictions like no unsupervised screens), and therapy/couples counseling.

• Reclaim Autonomy and Don’t Keep Secrets:

  • Morgan is encouraged not to suffer alone:

    “You reclaiming autonomy is refusing to keep secrets. … I’m not saying broadcast this. … But you have to find people that you trust.” ([16:34])

  • Keeping secrets “is weighing you down. … I want you to switch to offense.” ([16:51])

• AI as the New Temptation:
  Dr. DeLoney delivers a memorable analogy:

  “AI can be better than a person because AI just says, you got it…AI doesn’t get tired. AI doesn’t get frustrated…the violation you feel is very, very real, unlike this digital relationship your husband thinks he has.” ([17:40])

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Key Segment 2: Supporting a Son in a Messy College Relationship

[23:35 – 35:08]

Main Discussion Points

• The Situation:
  Amy from Houston describes her 19-year-old son’s relationship with a new girlfriend. Her parents, upon discovering the romance, physically assaulted their daughter and then Amy’s son when he intervened.

• Guidance on Protective Action

  • Dr. DeLoney reviews possible ways forward: contacting the dean, requesting campus bans (“no trespass”/no contact orders), and outcomes based on legal process.

    “The word you use—safe educational environment.” ([31:51])

• Family Values Clash

  • Amy and her husband worry about cultural/family value misalignment if the relationship continues long-term.
  • Dr. DeLoney points out, “He’s not going to get it…he’s thinking, man, she looks pretty in this dress and she’s fun to go out with.” ([33:21])

Notable Quotes

• “If something doesn’t smell right, it may not be right. … Very, very rarely did something like this happen unprovoked.”
  — Dr. John DeLoney ([29:16])
• “Right now, I’m going to focus on keeping my kids safe, teaching my kid how to act when ego’s in the way, making sure my kid is telling me the whole truth…”
  — Dr. John DeLoney ([35:08])

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Key Segment 3: An Expectant Father Feeling Alone and Overwhelmed

[38:10 – 50:40]

Main Discussion Points

• Corey’s Challenge:
  Corey and his wife are expecting twins and already have a daughter. He feels immense pressure completing projects and running the household while his wife, battling severe morning sickness, is “not making things easy for me.”

• Themes of Invisible Labor and Miscommunication

  • Corey feels his efforts aren’t reciprocated or even noticed:

    “She never asked me what I need help with…Ever.” ([43:48])

• Deeper Marital Disconnect:
  Dr. DeLoney identifies a core wound—Corey doesn’t feel “seen and known in your own house.”

  • “Chores have become the proxy war in your house. … You’re quietly asking yourself, do I want to stay in this thing because she doesn’t care about me.” ([45:44])

• Concrete Suggestions:

  • Make exhaustive lists of home tasks; sort out essentials vs. non-essentials before the twins arrive.
  • Seek support and open, honest conversation about not just tasks but about what they each want in their (new) marriage moving forward.
  • Use tools (like the Together marriage app and DeLoney’s book) to build new rhythms of partnership and mutual appreciation.

Notable Quotes

• “It wasn’t about the work. It was about—we’re on the same team.”
  — Dr. John DeLoney ([46:41])
• “People who will wake up every day and decide, I’m going to do one thing for my partner…People who have those harder conversations…chores take care of themselves.”
  — Dr. John DeLoney ([50:07])

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Additional Memorable Moments

• On Keeping Secrets for a Spouse:
  “Walking around keeping all of that secret is weighing you down.”
  — Dr. John DeLoney ([16:34])

• On the Severity of AI Infidelity:
  “This is our future. If you haven’t had conversations about AI relationships, about interactive digital pornography…have those conversations now…”
  — Dr. John DeLoney ([19:20])

• Listener Follow-Up Letter - Healing & Joy:
  Mariah from Winnipeg shares her healing journey from trauma to “belly laughter” with her kids, having used counseling, fitness, and podcast guidance:

  “Thanks for the inspiration to solve for peace. … My relationship with my kids is benefiting.”
  ([56:21])

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Episode Structure & Timestamps

• [00:20 – 22:10]: Morgan’s AI chatbot betrayal, Dr. DeLoney’s guidance
• [23:35 – 35:08]: Amy’s son assaulted by girlfriend’s parents, campus safety, family values
• [38:10 – 50:40]: Corey’s stress about expected twins, marital disconnect, practical steps
• [55:50 – 56:58]: Listener letter about overcoming trauma, joy in motherhood

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Final Takeaways

This episode deeply explores new forms of relational betrayal in the digital age and trauma’s ripple effects through marriage and family. Dr. DeLoney presses for radical honesty, boundaries, and the reclamation of personal autonomy, while rejecting the notion that “digital” means “not real” harm. Listeners are left with a sense of the urgent, sometimes hard, but always possible work of building new trust—and accepting that, in a digital world, new boundaries must be drawn and old concepts of intimacy renegotiated.

Dr. John DeLoney’s Tone: Direct, practical, unflinchingly honest, and warm—always rooting for listeners to claim agency in their own healing and connection.

Transcript

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Big news. New dates for money and marriage. Getaway just dropped for Valentine's Day weekend, 2026. Get [e-mail] events to get away with your spouse. In Nashville, Tennessee.

[Morgan]

I found out my husband was using a anime chat bot to discuss his sexual fantasies.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Does it create a charact, too, that talks back to him?

[Morgan]

Yep.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And that character will do whatever he types in that box.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah. What's going on? What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John DeLoney show, taking your calls on your mental and emotional health, your relationships, your marriage, your kids, whatever you got going on in your life. We got relationships just hanging on by a thread all over the planet. And relationships are what keep us all tethered together. And so, man, I am invested with all I got to helping people reconnect, deepen connections, get stronger again. And I've been doing this for two decades, sitting with hurting people, trying to figure out, what do I do now? What's the next right move? So if you want to be on the show, go to john deloney.com ask. It's an honor to get to sit with you to. It's. It's one of my life's greatest blessings. And for everybody who's brave and honest on this show, I'm really grateful. Let's go out to Salt Lake City, Utah, and talk to Morgan. What's up, Morgan? How we doing?

[Morgan]

Hi, Dr. John. Thanks for having me on.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

You got it. It's good to hear from you. What's going on?

[Morgan]

Oh, I'm pretty nervous.

[Corey]

Oh.

[Morgan]

So I'll just cut to it, I guess.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Cannonball. Yeah. Tuck those knees in and jump all the way off the high dive. We can do it.

[Morgan]

Okay, so I think it was about two weeks ago.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Do me a favor. Do me a favor. Take your hands. I want you to squeeze them together as tight as you can. Make really big balled up fists. Okay. Three, two. And then let them loose. Okay. And then take a huge deep breath as deep as you can, all the way in your tummy and in your. In your chest. And hold it in 5, 4, 3, 2, exhale. You're safe here, ma'.

[Morgan]

Am. Okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

You're good.

[Morgan]

Okay. So I would say about two weeks ago, I found out my husband was using a. Like an AI chatbot to discuss his sexual fantasies. And, I mean, he's been kind of working through an addiction to a type of pornography for a while. And anyway, this was just. I don't know, I felt like it was a new level of betrayal.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And I don't know, I just needed to talk to somebody about it.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Thank you for calling.

[Morgan]

Nobody really knows. Okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Thank you for calling. What. What did you find?

[Morgan]

What do you mean?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I can hear in your voice that it. You didn't find him just texting Jet Chat GPT back and forth with some run of the mill sex stuff. It sounds like you walked in on or read some things or saw some things that were pretty troubling.

[Morgan]

Yeah. So he really likes anime. And you know, he. He and I are both. We're both raised religiously and so like generally he does his best to steer clear of anime that is sexual because he knows that he gets triggered. But then anyway, so it's. It's basically an anime chat bot and you know, it's like they're having a conversation and it's supposed to be erotic.

[Amy]

And.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Does it create a character too, that talks back to him?

[Morgan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And that character will do whatever he types in that box.

[Morgan]

Yep.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah. And will cheer him on as he masturbates or is he does what he's going to do on his side?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah. I'm sorry.

[Morgan]

Thank you.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And you hear me say this a lot on the show, but I'll tell you directly, you're not crazy. To have your heart broken and be disgusted and be weirded out and to also be looking yourself in the mirror in the morning wondering why is a fictitious cartoon robot more appealing than me?

[Morgan]

Yeah, all of it.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I'm sorry, how long have y' all been together?

[Morgan]

We're coming up on nine years.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

You got kids?

[Morgan]

We have three kids.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

How old are they?

[Morgan]

We have a six year old and a four year old and a two year old.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Oh, man. You're a pretty chaotic house, huh?

[Amy]

Very.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Do you work? Does he work?

[Morgan]

He works full time. I just recently started up a side hustle because one of our main goals together is trying to buy a house so that we can establish roots.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah. And that's a nightmare these days, trying to save up for a house. Good grade. Especially in Salt Lake City. Geez.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Tell me about the past conversations and experiences he's had with pornography.

[Morgan]

So he. Before we even got married, he disclosed to me that he struggled as a teenager with masturbation. He didn't really get into pornography till after we were married. And that's one of the things I was very thankful for and still am. He's very open with me.

[Amy]

He.

[Morgan]

He's honest with me and he will come to me and tell me when he's looked things up that he shouldn't have. Or when he's masturbated or. So I really. That was one thing I really appreciate is that he's so open with me about it instead of trying to hide it.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah, there's. There's some. There's some that's. That can be good. But after 10 years together, the constant disclosure without any changes in actions or behavior can leave you carrying a ton of. For lack of better words, he. It's like he. He has this thing that violates his core values.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And violates the values that you two have established for your marriage. And then he comes to you openly and just has a cinder block and says, well, I did this thing that violates what we agreed on. Here, you carry this. I'm gonna go back.

[Morgan]

Right.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And then nothing changes. And then a few months later, or a year later or two weeks later, he pops back up and says, up. Did it again. Carry this. And it's almost like you're so burdened carrying all this stuff, you're trying to figure out, how does this align with a guy who's like, provides for the family? Maybe he's a good dad. He's present with these three little kids, whatever. And so you have to say things like, well, at least he's not doing this. And at least this isn't happening. And it's almost a way that you can excuse all of this insane weight you're carrying. So I guess at the beginning of this call, I want you to at least exhale, and if you can, close your eyes for two seconds and just imagine yourself dropping all of those bricks and cinder blocks, set them down. And then you have to sit there and look at this guy who says he's one thing, who in some areas of his. Of his life, acts a certain way. Is he a good dad? Does he show up?

[Morgan]

He's an amazing dad.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Is he a good husband? Outside of the fact that he keeps outsourcing feelings and eroticism and play and fantasies to, like, pornography and now to an escalate, basically a live pornography, Right.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I mean. Yeah. Other. Literally, other than. Other than the pornography and masturbation. He's my best friend, and we love hanging out and shooting the breeze, and we just. There's. I don't know. We're really good together other than that.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

So let me say this. My best friends in the world don't violate the core value agreements we have with each other. It's not what best friends do.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

So how did this. When you discovered this, how'd the conversation.

[Morgan]

Go Like, I had no idea that kind of thing existed.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah, it does. Yeah.

[Morgan]

And it was. I don't know, a new level of shock, I suppose. And I asked him to stop, and I asked him to get help, and he says he doesn't know if he'll stop.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay.

[Morgan]

And. But he is. I mean, he started therapy two weeks ago, right after I asked him to. So I don't know. I do know that pornography, like, that changes your brain chemistry. And so I just am hoping to be able to help him get the help he needs to be able to rewire his brain. So it's not.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah. I wouldn't think of it in that way because that makes it sound like he's forever altered. Right. Things are different now. There's an exposure in your marriage now. And depending on the stuff he was looking at, I'm less worried about, like, brain plasticity is. Is extraordinary. Up and down, like, left and right, all over the place. Right. I'm more worried about that. You can't unsee some of the things that you saw him asking this sexual being in the form of an AI, like projection. You can't unsee some of the stuff that you didn't even know is in your husband's head that he wanted to see expressed that he was sexually excited by. It's hard to unsee and unknow that.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

It's disturbing. Right. So you talked about, like, I need you to stop. I need you to do these things. I want you to do something that's going to sound counterintuitive, and I want you to reclaim autonomy in this moment, because right now you feel devastated. Right?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And reclaiming autonomy happens in a couple of ways. It's you taking very serious, a pen and a paper and being clear, despite the ramifications, clear about what you will and will not tolerate in your home. And then it's being very clear about what a path back to trust looks like, because this guy blew trust to smithereens. Not only in pornography. Y' all have talked about this a million times. Not only in him having it. I'm gonna call it a digital affair.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

He had an affair. And a really seedy, disturbing affair.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Right. And you creating a path back to what trust may look like if you are. Have any interest in that or if this was the final straw. And when he looked at you and said, I don't think I want to quit. And I'm hearing words like this, I love this AI bot. I'm in love with this thing. This bot doesn't judge me like you do. This bot will do whatever I ask and you won't. Etc. However those conversations go. And you being able to say, if we're gonna I, I don't, I don't want to be married to you anymore. I'm done with this thing. Or you saying, this is just my husband and he does good in some of these other areas, so I'm just going to take it. I'd recommend not doing that. But you're free to do that. You're an adult or we're in Ash. I'm going to. Here's the path back. If you want me to trust you, if you want to stay married to me, if to you want, want to stay present in the lives of your kids all the time, here's what trust is going to look like. No more screens, no more phones. We're deleting all the stuff off the. I mean, you're going to, I mean, he's going to have to act like a child.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Like a teenager who just got caught. It's y' all going to couples counseling and there's going to be some really tough stuff, which is you being curious, not judgmental. You being curious about. I, I, I want you to teach me what is exciting about this. He's going to have to do the work to get to the level of shame that he experiences, that it's continually looking for off ramps for intimate connection and all of these not real ways and avoiding that with you.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And you're going to have to be honest with him about the grief and the fact that the marriage y' all had is over. Now, do you want to build a new one? Because you can't unsee what you saw. Do you want to stay married to this guy?

[Morgan]

I do.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay. So you're going to have to be very clear about what that's what it's going to take for that to continue.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

You're carrying a lot of shame on his behalf right now. You're carrying a lot of embarrassment. What if people found out that my husband was looking at this stuff? What if people knew my husband was jerking off to this stuff in our family house while the three kids were playing downstairs?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And you, reclaiming autonomy, is refusing to keep secrets. I'm not saying broadcast this. I'm absolutely not saying make a big, long, dramatic Facebook post or anything like, or calling your dad and be like, guess what happened? I'm not recommending that at all. Please don't do that.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

But I'll also tell you, you have to find people that you trust. Whether it's a therapist who's bound with. Through licensure to. Not to. To keep confidentiality, Whether it's two girlfriends that know you and have stood by you through your pregnancies and through your births and through ups and downs that y'. All. You could call and say, I'm not okay. But you carrying this burden around takes your autonomy. You're playing defense in your life, and I want you to switch to offense. I want you. If you want to fight for your marriage, I want to give you permission to fight for it. What that's going to mean? Your husband violated things and blew things up. And so you walking around keeping all of that secret is weighing you down. And it's you saying, I'm not keeping secrets anymore. I'm not going to bleed on the neighborhood, but I'm not keeping secrets anymore because I need to heal from this so that I can see clearly a path for us to stay married, for us to get well together. But I. You're right to be out of your mind, disgusted by what you saw. You're right to feel like, I think this is an affair. It is. It's a digital affair. Absolutely. 100 bar none. It's an affair. He created a relationship, a sexually intimate relationship with somebody else that somebody just happens to be AI. And if y' all people are listening to this and rolling their eyes, I'm telling you right now, AI is good. In fact, I'll say this kind of like a Twinkie is better. Tastes better than broccoli. Right? It'll kill you, but it tastes better than broccoli. AI can be better than a person because AI just says, you got it. AI just says, you're amazing. AI doesn't get tired. AI doesn't get frustrated. AI doesn't have normal emotional rhythms like regular humans do. And so it can be better. Not. Not better for you, but it can. It can feel easier. Let me put it that way. It can be easier. Morgan, you're right to say, I don't know who you are anymore. And he's right to look at you and say, I went down a rabbit hole. I got curious, and then I got over my head, and now I'm scared to death. The fact that he showed up and said, I'll go see somebody right away, that's cool. But you're gonna have to be an integral part of the healing. And you got to be prepared for him saying, I'm not moving any further. I'm a grown man. I can look at what I want to. And you're gonna have to decide as a grown woman, as someone who's going to protect her children, do I want this in my house or not? I'll be with you every step of the way, Morgan. You call me anytime, and I'll sit with you. I hate that you're going through this and everybody listening. This is our future that we are staring at this right now. And so if you haven't had conversations about AI relationships, about interactive digital pornography, about anime pornography, by the way, it's already moved to not just cartoons, but there are AI People that will do whatever you want. It looks like a person, looks like a. It talks like a. I mean, it's as real as it can be there. Have those conversations now, because we have started a Manhattan Project on an arms race on building this thing, and it is already everywhere. Thanks for the call, my sister. We. We'll be thinking about you, Your hurt and your pain, and the violation you feel is very, very real, unlike this digital relationship that your husband thinks he has. We come back. A woman asks how to support her son after his girlfriend's parent hit him. Yikes. We'll be right back. This show is sponsored by Better Help. All right, this time of year can be tough for all of us, so I want you to make sure that you check on your friends, check on your loved ones, and reconnect with people that maybe you haven't talked to in a while. I recently called one of my childhood friends just to say, hey, I'm thinking about you. How are you doing? And we ended up having a great conversation. That was hard, but we also laughed a little bit, too. And just like, it can take a little bit of courage to send that message or grab coffee with somebody that you haven't seen in a while. Reaching out for therapy. Reaching out to somebody who can sit with you and hold space for heavy, hard conversations. That can feel hard, too, but it's worth it. If you want to try therapy, call my friends at Better help. With over 30,000 therapists, they're the largest online therapy provider in the world. They've served over 5 million people globally, and they have an average rating of 4.9 stars out of 5. It's totally online, so it's easy to fit into your schedule to get started. You just answer a few simple questions, and they'll connect you with a licensed therapist who will fit your needs. And if it's not the right fit, you. You can switch at any time for no extra cost. This month don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend, checking in on a family member, or reaching out for a therapist, better help makes it easier to take that first step. Visit betterhelp.com DeLoney to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H E L p.com DeLoney I want to invite you to something really cool that's happening this month. Hallow, the prayer app that I use every day, is teaming up with the Bible app and other Christian organizations all over the world for Global Bible Month. Heading into the holidays, there's no better time to slow down, reconnect with your spiritual life, and bring prayer back into your daily routines. During Global Bible Month, Hallow will offer a 30 day Bible story Challenge. These are some of the most popular stories in the Bible, read by incredible voices that you already know and love like Lauren Daigle, Jonathan Roumie, and more. And while you're using Hallow, check out their thousands of prayers and meditations as well as their Sleep series that can fill your mind with positive thoughts and stories as you drift off to sleep. Join me and millions of others around the world for Global Bible Month on Hallow. Let's dive into scripture together. Join now and you'll get three months of Hallow for free at hallow.com DeLoney that's Hallow. H-A L L O W.com SL DeLoney all right, let's go out to Amy in Houston, Texas. What's up Amy?

[Morgan]

Hi.

[Amy]

How are you Dr. DeLoney?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I'm good. How are you?

[Amy]

Very good, thank you.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Awesome. What's going on?

[Amy]

Well, my son, my 19 year old son who was in college, he met this new girl and started a relationship. Seems like the parents are very strict. So when they met him as a friend, they liked him. But apparently they did not approve their daughter to be dating even though she's in college. So when she told them that she's dating my son, they went as far as initially cutting her off to support her financially. And why don't they like your son? I don't know. He's a lovely young man.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Of course you say that you're his mom. Like what reasons is he telling you you that they're saying we're cutting her.

[Amy]

Off the because they didn't want her to be dating.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Oh, so it's just any guy, your son just happened to be in the wrong with the wrong person at the.

[Amy]

Wrong time, wrong person the wrong time and so her parents are nuts? Yeah, sounds like it.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I mean, you don't have to. Like, yes, they are. Okay. But hey, you know what? They're nuts. But they can do what they want to. If. If she's on their dime, if she's taking money from them, she. They get to set the rules, I guess. All right, so your son found a girl at college. They started dating. Mom and dad went b a N a n a s. Cut her. Cut. Cut her off. And then what happened?

[Morgan]

Cut her off.

[Amy]

And she. She's like, you know what it is what it is. And she was brave and she was independent. I don't need them. You know, I got full ride scholarship and everything. I make a little bit money for my spending.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

How you like them apples? Mom and dad. Good for her.

[Amy]

Yeah, absolutely. But then that same night when I met her the first time and learned all of this, the parents went to her dorm where my son had taken her back, and apparently they got into an argument. So she asked my son to be next door while they sorted out their family business. Then my son next door heard that she got slapped. The mom slapped her, so he immediately opened the door and stepped out. Then the mother slapped my son.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Ooh. Where I'm from, which is Houston, like you, we say, oh, hell no.

[Amy]

Exactly.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

This other mom hit your kid?

[Amy]

Correct.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Whoa. Did he call the cops?

[Amy]

Well, so I guess the. The residential. The hall staff did that.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah. Good for them.

[Amy]

Showed up.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I used to work in housing. I trained them well. Good job. Right. So they called five. Oh, and then what happened?

[Morgan]

Then.

[Amy]

Then they asked my son if he wanted to press charges, and he declined.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay.

[Amy]

And then so the. The father pulled him aside, talk to him. Even though my son says that he's scared of the father, but they talked him down. And then after that, you know, the girlfriend asked him to leave, which he left and came home and told me all about this.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

What. What did the father say to your son?

[Morgan]

You know, I am not sure I.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Would find out if he pulled him aside and said, hey, my wife is nuts, and that should never have happened. I'm sorry that happened. You're a good kid. I'm gonna. I'm getting her out of here. Like, if that happened. That's one that. That gives me some information. Doesn't undo what happened, the assault, but it gives me some. A clue.

[Morgan]

That's true.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

If he leaned over and said, oh, you think that's bad, young man? You press charges and I'll find you. Like, right. I want. I want to know what that guy said.

[Amy]

Oh, actually a good point. So I don't know he said any of what you just described, but he did ask my son for his driver's license, and my son declined as well. So I'm not going to give you my driver's license because at that moment, my son felt threatened. He was afraid of him, and he didn't want him to come and charge in our house with a gun.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yes. All of that. Yes. And it's not. He didn't feel threatened. He was threatened because the other adult hit him in the face.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Yeah. We don't do this in our house. We don't grow our kids. We never lay hand in our. On our kids. So, of course, when I heard this, I was furious, because how dare you, whoever you are, lay your hand on my son.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Of course.

[Amy]

But my son, of course, when he was telling me and my husband about this, he immediately defended the girl because I think we put an image in our head is our family values don't match. I don't think this is going to go anywhere.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Well, I can tell you it's probably not. Having worked with college students my whole life, it's probably not.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And y' all are right to say, I don't want you around her. I don't want you around them. They're like. They're. They're unsafe people. They're neurotic. You don't have one adult hit. Okay. The only thing I would say is, I, like, if they walked in and your son was sleeping with their daughter, I would say it's wrong that. That. That she hit him. But I. I could understand. That makes sense. It's not right. But I. I could get that. If they walked in and they were sleeping together and dad grabbed your son by the collar and pulled him out in the hallway and said, I. I want all this information from you. I would say, you can't do that. It's against the law. You can't put your hands on a kid and demand their license. Who do you think you are? But I would understand. This doesn't sound like that at all.

[Amy]

No, no.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And so can I tell you this? I. I have. I always had a rule that always taught parents of college students and high school students, and that is, if something doesn't smell right, it may not be right. Okay. So I know you love your son. Sweet, sweet, sweet little son. Precious son. Of all of the crazy interactions I had with college students over 20 years, very, very rarely did something like this happen unprovoked.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I would love for you to circle back and say, all right, son, I'VE done some thinking, and I love you. The story that you're telling me sounds nuts. What really happened? And he might say, it is exactly as I told you. And then I would want you to follow up and be like, I want you to tell me exactly what that father pulled you aside and said. Because here's the deal. If he pulled him aside and said, I want your license because I'm coming for you, boy, then I'm going to suggest your son go back and press charges less for this particular moment. But I want it documented in. I want them to know we're not scared of you, and we're going to use the legal processes to protect. He's going to use the legal. The legal system to protect himself. Otherwise, this. Dad, this kind of behavior is not going to stop. It's going to roll unchecked.

[Corey]

Yeah, right.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And I did work situations that were outside of the bell curve that would have ended up on the news without some intervention. Okay. So your son's like, I'm worried this guy's gonna be out in the parking lot. He's right. He should be nervous.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

But the school, when you're dealing with adults, and I know it's weird, it's like, he's my precious son, but he's 19. So in the eyes of the. Of the university, of the. Of the government, he's an adult. He has to advocate for himself.

[Amy]

Right.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And that can be a no contact order. That can be. The parents not welcome on campus. I don't want them on this campus. They assaulted one of our students. And the school may say, we can only do that if there's a criminal record, because they can punish. They can punish a student, but they can't punish the adult. Sometime, like, they can go through a bunch of matters, but you, as the parent, can reach out to the dean of students. And by the way, I had parents reach out to me over these kind of issues and say, this is what happened. This is what this other parent told my son. I want them banned from campus. They can't be there.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And here's the word you use. Safe educational environment.

[Amy]

Right.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

This other adult off campus hit my son in the face. And they. They give a simple no trespass.

[Corey]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And his girlfriend will probably freak out and say, don't do that. Please don't. Whatever. Or she may say, thank God somebody can do it. And by the way, she can join, too, and say, this adult, who happens to be my mother, but this adult came into my residence hall room and assaulted me also. She can file a no contact order against her parents, especially since she's on her own financially.

[Amy]

Well, but after this, apparently, you know, the parents reached back out to her and revoked that. So I think they're in speaking terms right now.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Of course they are. They lost their leverage.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

She flexed on him and they back down like cowards.

[Amy]

But now here. Then here's my real question. After all of this, of course, you know, I, I, my husband and I would prefer that they stop going out. But we didn't tell him that. We just told him, you really need to think about this. Our family values are obviously very different. So I don't know. And he interjects that, well, it's not her fault.

[Morgan]

Yes.

[Amy]

But, you know, imagine.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Let me tell you this. Let me tell you this moment. It doesn't matter if your son's head over heels. He's head over heels, man.

[Amy]

He is.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

He's not considering our family value. You're thinking like, hey, if y' all get married, I'm stuck with this other couple for the rest of my life. He's not thinking like that. He's thinking, man, she looks pretty in this dress and she's fun to go out with. Yes, that's what he's thinking. So trying to rationalize family values and like 10 years down the road, which is where your head's going, a 19 year old's not going to get that. He's not going to get it.

[Amy]

I guess, I guess I can't help thinking, okay, one, what if one day I have to meet the parents? I don't think I'm going to have a happy face meeting them.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

You shouldn't. And if they ever reach out and want to meet you, you can write back. It's my understanding that the last time you all met my son, one of you hit him and the other one of you threatened him. So much so that we had to write a no contact order. I, I'm not interested in meeting right now. Thank you.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I'll also tell you this. If you let your son know that, that's going to be your response if they ever reach out to y'. All.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

He may come forward with, well, here's what actually happened, actually. We were hooking up and they busted us.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Actually, I thought I heard a slap. I opened the door and I got between her father and her, and I said this and this. And so he stepped to me. Right. There's always another side.

[Amy]

Gotcha.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And such is having kids in that, in that liminal space between you're recognized as an adult, but you're still a 14 year old right in your frontal lobe.

[Corey]

Right.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

It's just tough talking to your kid. About 10 years from now, we may have to all have dinner together. He's not going to hear that. He's over his head. He's in love, yada yada. Statistically speaking, this isn't going to work out in a forever relationship, but it might. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. Right now, I'm going to focus on keeping my kids safe, teaching my kid how to act when ego's in the way, making sure my kid is telling me the whole truth and nothing but the truth about what happened when that other mom and dad rolled up. Did really this crazy mom just come out and hit my kid in the face and dad threatened him? Or was there something else going on that doesn't excuse behavior but provides a little context? Like, all right, I understand it. It's wrong, but I understand it. What a mess. What an absolute mess. That would be the next right move. And being scared that he's going to get his heart broken again. Here's the truth, Amy probably is. He probably is. That's the nature of dating. That's the nature of being in, like, head over heels. That's the nature of trying to figure out. Let me put this way. Even if they get married, she's going to break his heart and he's going to break hers. That's. That's love. That's connection. That's marriage. That's all of it. It's dating. It's making sure that you don't do anything that would keep him from ever calling back out and calling home. It sounds like y' all have done an amazing job raising a young man who knows a. If there's somebody in distress, I'm going to go get involved. Awesome. And I can call home and check in with my parents. Well done, Amy. But now y' all got to do the next right hard thing. When we come back, a man asks how to handle expecting twins while feeling unsupported by his wife. We'll be right back. I'm beyond thrilled to announce that Montana Knife Company has now joined my team. For years, I have used one company for every knife I need. Montana Knife Company. These knives are designed, tested, and built by real hunters and real cooks. My family and I use these knives in the deepest parts of the woods, in Back river creeks and in our kitchen. When you first pick up a Montana knife company knife, you can feel their perfection and their Quality. They're the sharpest knives you will ever use right out of the box. They're the easiest knives to sharpen and they're the toughest knives out there. My grandkids and my great grandkids will fight over who gets these knives long after I'm gone. They make incredible holiday gifts and they always, always sell out before December. Montana Knife Co. Does limited runs, and so you gotta get them while you can. Give the outdoorsman and. And the cook in your life knives they'll actually use and pass down someday. Go to Montana knife company.com to see what's available. Right now, that's Montana knife company.com. toledo, Ohio. Holy Toledo. Let's go out to Toledo and talk to Corey. What up, Corey?

[Corey]

Hi. How you doing?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Outstanding, brother. How are you, man?

[Corey]

I'm super excited. It's. It's been a heck of a ride so far.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Very cool. What's up?

[Corey]

Well, my wife and I, we have one daughter already and we have. We're expecting twins next year.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay.

[Corey]

This, it's. It's been such a great, thrilling experience so far. It's brought me closer to my wife and it's just spend this moment. But I cannot help but feel like there's all this weight on me and I can feel it in my chest.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Tell me about it.

[Corey]

I have to say, I have been the most stressed in my entire life for the last month and stuff going.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

On in the world. Stressed. Financial stress, Missing your wife? Stress. What are you stressed about, man?

[Corey]

I just feel like the amount of things that I have to do, the amount of projects I'm trying to get done around the house and the amount of things that I have to do on a. On a daily basis, I'm not getting that good of support from my wife.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Tell me more.

[Corey]

And.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay, here's what I'm gonna challenge.

[Corey]

I don't want to.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Here's what I'm telling you, A. Anything you say. I know that you love your wife and I know that she's awesome. Okay? So you don't have to.

[Corey]

It's great, man.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

You don't have to couch that she's wonderful, but she can be wonderful and you can still be struggling at the same time. Both can be true. Okay? And. And here's the other thing. When any. Anybody tells me all of these things I quote, unquote, have to do, I always. My next move is I want people to be very specific about what is the. What are the things you think you have to do. And let's go through some of Those almost always. There's some very real things. The banister is broken. I gotta get that thing fixed. I can't afford to hire somebody or I can, I said, I made the call. There's those kind of things. And then other times it's more existential, Bigger, longer term things like I don't have enough money for a college fund yet. And you're already spinning up about kids that aren't even born yet 20 years from now. Right. So let's hone in on what are these things you have to do and what is the support you wish you were getting that you're not getting? As in, as specific as you can.

[Corey]

I got a lot of house projects I need to get done before these twins come.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Tell me about it.

[Corey]

Like what bedrooms I need to get prepped. I bought my own. My old family home. And it hasn't been updated in like 60 years. And you can imagine like the amount of like painting and like redoing the floors. And it's like I have. Progress is so slow.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah.

[Corey]

And I got handrails I need to replace. And I've been doing a lot of work, but it's like I have such little time to do that because I'm actually spending so much of my time doing day to day chores.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay.

[Corey]

And I like my. Is if I feel like if I stop doing any, any of my daily chores, everything just piles up. Like I'm, I'm.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

You talking about laundry? Like, we talking about.

[Corey]

Me and my wife, we've had a mismatch when it came to doing chores. Somehow this has been an argument that we have never solved. And it's more or less for the fact that I take care of my own laundry. She takes care of her own laundry. But it's like in the last several months, she's had really bad morning sickness. She is nauseous so much of the time. I understand that. I'm like, okay, I will take care of everything I can, but at the same time, I'm like, I feel like I'm having to do everything.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

You keep saying these big words. Everything, all of it. Like, are you having to cook meals, clean up meals, change diapers, do all the laundry, vacuum the house? Like, when you say everything.

[Corey]

I feel like I'm doing almost the vast majority of the work. Okay. And I'm, I'm.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And is your wife just laying around watching tv?

[Corey]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Corey]

And I'm like, I don't mind like doing some of these things. Like, I know I do it like, I do it with like The. That I know I'm serving my family, and. But, like, she's not making things easy for me. And I've told her that I'm feeling overwhelmed, that I have this long list of stuff that I need to get to. And I. I'm like. And I'm like, I. I'm, like, trying to get her to participate. And she does help. And. But it's like. Like, she. I don't know how to really phrase it other than, like, she never asked me what I need help with.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay, there it is right there.

[Corey]

Ever.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

There it is right there.

[Corey]

She, like. It's like, if she ever asked me to do anything, I'm immediately up. I'm like, I'll. Right now. Like, I. Like, you know, it's. I'm just struggling for the fact that it's like I. I just. I just feel overwhelmed.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Let me throw two things out here and see if this resonates. Number one, you're working really hard to see and to know and to celebrate your wife.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And she, through her actions, isn't caring to see how exhausted and stressed and overwhelmed her husband is not interested in knowing how she can love him today, and is not even interested in celebrating this guy. If anything, we're going straight to challenge. Hey, you need to do this. Why? What happened to here? Why not this? And chores have become the proxy war in your house. I'm wondering if recognizing that as chaotic as your life is with one kid, knowing that two more are coming, and it's not going to be two times the craziness, it's going to be a hundred times the crazy. If this is not exposing a core fracture in your marriage, and you're freaking out, and you should be, because the thought of this continuing this level of. You open your eyes and you think, how can I love and serve her today? And she opens her eyes and doesn't really care about you at all. That gets super magnified with two infants on top of a toddler. And I want you to at least exhale with me. And I know it's not as easy as just. It sounds like you've tried to talk about this stuff. I wonder if y' all talked about it superficially. What about this? We got to get this fixed. I got to paint this room. You don't even care about that. Well, I've got morning sickness. You don't even know what it's like to carry two kids. And it's kind of surface level stuff, but this sounds like a guy who is quietly asking himself, do I Want to stay in this thing because she doesn't care about me.

[Corey]

It's just this. This problem has just been looming.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I know. And this. Then, congratulations, Revan twins. It just exposes. It shines a bright light on.

[Corey]

It's. And then this has been, like, the crushing stress. And I. I'm.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I know, but I'm trying to listen. I know, brother. And you don't have to defend yourself with me. Okay? And we don't have to, like, just pile on your wife. I trust you. That she's a good wife. I trust you. She's a good friend. I trust you. She's a good mom.

[Corey]

And.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And that she's feeling terrible because she's carrying two. She's trying to make two humans right now. I get that, too. The core, deeper issue is you don't feel seen and known in your old. In your own house. And here's a good example. My wife had an emergency appendectomy about a month ago, about three weeks ago. Two weeks later, she went back to the ER with a completely different abdominal emergency. Maybe a week later, I was having to carry a lot around the house, and she was the biggest cheerleader possible. So it wasn't about me having to do a bunch of work. It wasn't about me having to not do some stuff that I wanted to do or needed to do because I need to take care of my wife. I gotta get my kids to school, those kind of things. Wasn't that. Wasn't staying up all night in. In the emergency room. It wasn't that at all. It was the fact that I know that she saw me and she knew me, and she would say regularly, come here and hold my hand. I'm just so grateful for you. So it wasn't about the work. It was about we're on the same team, and it happens vice versa. Yesterday I was out of town speaking at an event, and I knew that she carried it all, the whole thing. Kids, dinner, food, every house, everything. And when I walked in, my immediate thing was to head to her and say, dude, thank you. So what I'm hearing you say is less about the stress of carrying it all, and it's the stress of carrying it all alone. Here. Here's a couple of things you can do. You can't control her, so you have to exhale and let that go. Like you waking up every day wanting her to be different than she's going to be is a recipe to drive yourself mad. What you can choose to do is pull out a piece of paper or you sound like an Excel spreadsheet kind of guy. And put every house repair job you can think of have a vomit fest, put it all down, the little stuff, the bigs, the quarter round to the ceiling, popcorn ceiling. I need to scrape off to the new this to refinish all. If they put all down a piece of paper. And then be very honest, even if you need to get a buddy, y' all go get a drink and go hang out. And then you get a buddy. And you'll look at this list and say, if two twins walked in the door today, not ideal. But could they live just fine with these unfinished projects? And I guarantee you, for 95 of those projects, the answer is yes. And you make the choice. Cool. I'm going to do these after the kids are born. It's not what I wanted. It's not ideal, but I'm making myself insane. Or you sit down and tell your wife, I can't be married like this anymore. I need you to change. And I'm going to change. And that doesn't sound like that's going to be an effective conversation for you and your wife.

[Corey]

I would never want to say it like that.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I know, but that's where you're headed, brother. I'm telling you. And it gets in this weird dance. She knows you're unhappy with her, and either she doesn't want to or she doesn't have the tools, or she feels sick because she's carrying two kids. Whatever. The thing is, she doesn't know how to come back to you, so she. She just throws out a verbal, I appreciate you. And that actually puts gasoline on your fire because you start thinking inside. Why don't you show it? Why don't you just ask me how you can love me today? Why don't. And then you crank the dance back up and you get further from her. She feels it. You feel it. Somebody has to stop the dance. And the only person you can actually get to stop dancing is you. So I'm going to send you a couple of things. First thing I'm going to send you is Building a Non Anxious Life. The book. I want you to read it. It sold hundreds and hundreds of thousands of copies. It's helping a lot of people. I want you to use it as a roadmap for you. Your wife probably won't read it. If she will, that'd be awesome. Okay. I'll send you a link to the audiobook, too, so you can listen to it while you're doing some of your home projects. Number two I'm going to send you a code for my new marriage app. It's called Together. It's in the App Store. If you don't have an Apple device, that's. That's problem number one for you right there. Just kidding. But if you got an Apple device, I'm gonna send you a code for it and you can and use it. And it gives you one thing a day you can do. And for everybody else listening, I kept it super cheap because I know everybody's struggling financially right now. It's 5.99. And you can add your spouse for free. Both of you can use it for six bucks a month. But it gives each of you one thing a day to do for the other person. Because everybody needs to be seen and known and celebrated and challenged in, by the way, in that order. But we all want other people to do that for us. And that's the thing. You can't. You. You have to go first. But your wife could get a text every morning that says, ask your husband how I can love you today. Go give your husband a 60 second hug. Find one thing that's on his plate and just take it off of his plate. Just go do it then. The last thing I want you guys to do is to get away for a couple, for a couple hours in the morning. And you say, we're about to have a brand new marriage. We're about to add two more humans to this house. How do you want to feel when I come home every day? What do you want this marriage to look like? Because our old marriage is over. We're going to build a new one. How do you want this thing to look? I don't know. All right, here's how I would love this to look. I'd love to hear from you. I feel like we're really far apart from each other right now. And I miss my girlfriend. I miss my wife. And what I'm finding across the country is people who will wake up every day and decide, I'm gonna do one thing for this for my partner. People who will have those harder conversations about how I can love you today. How can I love you today? What's your picture of today look like? People who do that chores take care of themselves, man. People get plugged in, projects get put off or they get finished or whatever, but it's not important. More important than us. But you getting beneath the spinning and the ruminating. And I've got to, I've got to, I've got to. And really being clear about here's what I have to do. There's a huge hole in the floor of the of the Tyler's new bedroom that they'll drop all the way to the first floor. I gotta fix that hole. I don't have to pull the wallpaper off. I'd love to get this done before they come home. It's not gonna happen. I'm moving on. On and on and on. You sound overwhelmed, Corey. You gotta find a couple people you can exhale and put all this stuff out. Out of your head, out of your body, onto paper, into real life conversations. And then ask yourself what must be true moving forward. Thanks for the call, brother. We'll be right back. All right, folks, big news. If you've listened to my show and ever you've heard me talk about my struggles with sleep, I'm thrilled to announce that I've joined forces with the makers of the best sleep solution that I've ever found. My new friends at Beam and their amazing Nighttime Dream Powder. I was so impressed. After taking Beam's Dream Powder, I called a few of my neighbors who are former athletes at the professional and Olympic level. They're the first ones who told me about beam, and I was like, hey, is this for real? And they shared similar experiences with me. Beam's Nighttime Dream Powder can dramatically improve your sleep and ultimately change your life. It's made with proven ingredients like magnesium, theanine, epigenin, melatonin, reishi, and other compounds that your body actually uses and recognizes. And it's delicious. And here's the kicker. I wake up sharp, not groggy. There's no hangover, and I'm able to give my family the time and effort and consideration they need and deserve. Right now, my listeners get early access to Beam's cyber sale up to 50% off. With my Code Deloney, you can snag dream for just $32.50. That breaks down to just over a dollar per night. For great sleep, go to shop beam.com deloney and use my code Deloney. Do not miss this sale. That's shop beam b e a m.com deloney and use code Deloney. All right, Kelly, you said something cool happened. What is it?

[Kelly]

All right, this is from Mariah in Winnipeg, and she writes, it's been a long season of healing around here. My GPS pin started ringing alarm bells six years ago, and I began my journey to joy, enlisting all of the supports, counseling your podcast, spiritual advisors, mentors, health and fitness, and Somatic Release.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Dang, dude.

[Kelly]

What is Somatic Release?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

That's what I did. It's body healing. Your body holds trauma in different places and it's the worst and it's the best.

[Morgan]

Oh, all right.

[Kelly]

So she said, you name it, I've added those tools to my toolkit. I was an overstimulated mom, haunted by childhood trauma and living in fear of inflicting the same pain on my own kids. I like to say I forgot how to have fun. Fast forward to last night. I had my two oldest kids in fits of belly laughter because I was being spontaneously silly. Thanks for the operation. The inspiration to solve for peace. I'm not there yet, but I'm tangibly closer than I was six years ago. And my relationship with my kids is benefiting.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Amazing, amazing, amazing. I'll take zero credit for that. I'll take 1%. Just put on the table, give you all the credit. What was her name?

[Kelly]

Mariah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Mariah. Give you all the credit for actually saying, I'm worth this, my kids are worth this. And taking the next right step. That's amazing. Amazing. Therapy, spiritual advice, health and fitness, man. Doing the body work with trauma healing. That's amazing. I'm proud of you. It's awesome. And there's few things on the planet more awesome than being with your kids when they are belly laughing. It's one of the greatest moments in the world. Congratulations. Stay on the path. Love you guys. Bye.