Podcast Summary: The Dr. John Delony Show

Episode: How Do I Avoid Having Daddy Issues?
Date: November 17, 2025
Host: Dr. John Delony, Ramsey Network

Episode Overview

This episode of The Dr. John Delony Show dives deeply into relationship and mental health challenges through real, candid conversations with callers. The show’s main arc centers on "daddy issues"—how to handle the yearning for a missing father figure and navigate the resulting emotional landscape. Dr. Delony takes three primary calls, each dealing with absence, abandonment, navigating boundaries, or change in crucial relationships (with self, partner, or parent). The show's tone is compassionate, direct, and occasionally humorous, aiming to offer practical, actionable advice while validating the messiness of real life.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Overcoming the Need for a Father Figure

Caller: Marie ([01:12]–[16:17])

Situation

• Marie, 18, grew up without her biological father present and struggles with a deep desire for a father figure.
• She has positive relationships with other male relatives (grandpa, uncle) but worries about overstepping boundaries and feeling a "craving for touch."
• She wants to know how to handle this desire so it doesn’t lead to dangerous or harmful decisions.

Insights & Advice

• Don’t suppress natural needs: Dr. Delony emphatically rejects the notion that Marie should “squash” her desire for a father figure, clarifying that this longing is entirely normal and fundamentally human ([01:47]).
  • “Try to squash a desire for a father figure? That’s innate, that’s built into all of us.” — Dr. John Delony [01:47]
• Practice trust, set boundaries: Instead of seeking validation from unsafe sources, Marie is encouraged to lean into safe, familial relationships and practice requesting what she needs explicitly.
  • “You’re very wise. The challenge for you is to have the courage to not run from what you feel, but to own what you feel.” — Dr. John Delony [06:37]
• It's not your fault: Dr. Delony repeatedly returns to the idea that Marie’s struggles are not due to any deficiency in her, but to the choices of her dad.
  • “There’s not something wrong with you. There’s something very wrong with the situation that your dad left you in… You’re not broken.” — Dr. John Delony [08:54]
• Let safe adults be adults: Marie worries about over-asking of her uncle and crossing boundaries.
  • “It’s not your job to manage your uncle’s boundaries. That’s their job. They’re adults. It’s your job to manage yours.” — Dr. John Delony [10:10]

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Dr. Delony reminds all fathers:
  • “Every single daughter deserves a dad that would burn the world down for her.” — Dr. John Delony [03:51]
• Acknowledgment of pain:
  • “It’s almost easier to say he couldn’t than he wouldn’t… That’s a harder reality to deal with, right?” — Dr. John Delony [13:08]
• On owning her needs without shame:
  • “Wanting to be touched and wanting to be held and wanting to be said… ‘You’re beautiful and I love you,’ that doesn’t make you broken. That makes you very, very human.” — Dr. John Delony [15:33]

2. Navigating Financial and Emotional Boundaries in a Troubled Marriage

Caller: Sarah from Durango, CO ([19:26]–[31:58])

Situation

• Sarah’s marriage is under strain: financial problems, her husband’s addiction, and toxic involvement from his mother, who is overly enmeshed (“if she could marry her own son, she would”) and constantly “solves” his issues ([22:18]).
• Sarah wants to know how to raise these concerns with her husband without him feeling “attacked.”

Insights & Advice

• Radical ownership and directness: Dr. Delony urges Sarah to stop “dancing around” her husband’s issues. Her indirect approach enables the unhealthy patterns started in his childhood to continue ([23:29]).
  • “By dancing around him, you are co-creating his childhood all over again.” — Dr. John Delony [23:36]
• Draw a line in the sand: She must lay out a clear choice—he’s either in the marriage (with all the responsibilities, including rehab and a steady job), or he’s aligned with his mother and addiction ([24:32], [25:21]).
  • “You pick your mother or you pick me—and here’s what picking me means.” — Dr. John Delony [24:34]
• Financial boundaries: Dr. Delony strongly recommends Sarah open a separate checking account for household expenses, not mix business/home finances, and protect herself/children from financial fallout ([28:13]).
• No more managing around his mother: The “put up or shut up” moment is inevitable, and it’s better to initiate it than let it happen by accident.
  • “He’s cheating on you with his mom… In every other way—financially, emotionally, relationally. He’s cheating on you with his mother, and you’re the one getting dragged behind.” — Dr. John Delony [30:47]

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Sarah’s moment of realization:
  • “I did come to that reality... I have my own abandonment issues... all of your actions are leading me into triggering my abandonment, and I can't do it anymore.” — Sarah [27:41]
• Powerful directive:
  • “It’s you sitting down... and saying, okay, here’s what must be true. Here’s what I want for my life. Because he’s cheating on you with his mom.” — Dr. John Delony [30:36]

3. Caring for Yourself While Partner Copes with Depression and Life-Altering Change

Caller: Lynn from South Bend, IN ([33:32]–[51:27])

Situation

• Lynn is recently paralyzed from the hips down after an accident; her husband (law enforcement, in law school) has become emotionally withdrawn and depressed.
• She worries she’s become a burden and wants to know how to keep herself happy and maintain connection.

Insights & Advice

• Acknowledge the New Reality:
  • “The marriage y’all had is over… Exhaling and saying, OK, what kind of marriage do we want to build now?” — Dr. John Delony [39:41]
• Tactical communication: Dr. Delony suggests having a “clear the deck” meeting where they state openly: “Here’s what I need. Here’s what love looks like right now. Let’s make a plan for these four months.” ([40:09])
  • “You’re both saying things to keep yourselves safe—‘I love you,’ ‘You’re being negative.’ Instead of, ‘I miss you. Here’s what I want. I want you to hold my hand…’” — Dr. John Delony [40:19]
• Be explicit; give a clear path to connection:
  • “I want you to take my shirt off, but I’m sitting in a wheelchair and I know that’s weird… Can we laugh and figure this out?” — Dr. John Delony [42:55]
  • “The only thing that’s going to crush this thing is the tiptoeing. Just head right through it. This is us choosing reality.” — Dr. John Delony [47:23]
• Challenge self-compassion:
  • Don’t hand your doubts to your husband—work on believing in your own lovability and practice those feelings, even before you fully internalize them ([46:04]).
  • “I want you to look him in the eye and say: ‘Every ounce of my being feels like I’m a burden to you now. But I’m going to trust you that I’m not. And I’m going to practice feeling lovable…’” — Dr. John Delony [46:04]

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On practical encouragement:
  • “The new adventure is: how do we be rambunctious and full of joy and play and Eros and sexy and sad sometimes and grieving. How do we do all that together now?” — Dr. John Delony [51:29]
• On expressing and asking for affirmation:
  • “You can say, ‘All right, dummy, now hold my face and tell me that I’m still hot.’” — Dr. John Delony [49:25]

Notable Quotes With Timestamps & Attribution

• “Try to squash a desire for a father figure? That’s innate, that’s built into all of us.” — Dr. John Delony [01:47]
• “Every single daughter deserves a dad that would burn the world down for her.” — Dr. John Delony [03:51]
• “There isn’t and there never was anything wrong with you. Your dad didn’t leave because of you. OK?” — Dr. John Delony [12:47]
• “By dancing around him, you are co-creating his childhood all over again.” — Dr. John Delony [23:36]
• “He’s cheating on you with his mom… In every other way—financially, emotionally, relationally.” — Dr. John Delony [30:47]
• “The marriage y’all had is over… What kind of marriage do we want to build now?” — Dr. John Delony [39:41]
• “The only thing that’s going to crush this thing is the tiptoeing… Head right through it. This is us choosing reality.” — Dr. John Delony [47:23]
• “Just because you feel less than or not beautiful or maybe a burden or not lovable doesn’t mean that he thinks you are. What you go looking for in the world, you’re sure to find.” — Dr. John Delony [45:13]

Key Timestamps

• 01:12–16:17: Marie (father figure, longing for connection, boundaries)
• 19:26–31:58: Sarah (husband’s addiction, financial boundaries, monster-in-law issues)
• 33:32–51:27: Lynn (coping with new disability, partner’s depression, redefining marriage)

Tone, Energy, and Takeaways

Dr. Delony’s approach throughout the episode is empathetic, direct, and gently challenging. He validates tough emotions, but pushes callers to take radical responsibility and set healthy boundaries. The episode deals with painful gaps left by absent or unwell parents and partners, but also insists on hope—despite the messiness, boundaries, honesty, and specific asks can help callers reclaim agency in their lives.

For listeners: Whether you struggle with abandonment, find yourself managing a partner’s chaos, or must rebuild connection after trauma, Dr. Delony’s message is clear: your needs aren’t wrong, you deserve to be loved and anchored, and facing reality directly (not tiptoeing around it) is the bravest path forward.