Podcast Summary: The Dr. John DeLoney Show – "I Don’t Find My Husband Attractive Anymore"
Host: Dr. John DeLoney
Platform: Ramsey Network
Release Date: July 25, 2025
Description: A caller-driven show that offers real talk on relationships and mental health challenges, encouraging listeners to engage by sending questions via voicemail or email.
1. Rachel’s Struggle with Her Husband’s Health and Snoring
Timestamp: [00:21] – [15:12]
Caller: Rachel from Glendale, Arizona
Topic: Navigating her husband's deteriorating health habits and how his snoring has impacted their relationship and family dynamics.
Discussion Points:
- Health Concerns: Rachel expresses worry not just about her husband’s weight gain but its broader effects on his self-esteem and interactions with their children. She highlights how his increased fatigue limits their physical activities with the kids.
- Snoring Issues: Over the past year, her husband's severe snoring has led to them sleeping in separate bedrooms, exacerbating sleep deprivation and straining their relationship.
- Attempts to Help: Rachel has tried setting realistic health goals and supporting her husband’s attempts to adopt healthier habits, such as biking or fasting. However, his lack of consistency and accountability frustrate her.
Notable Quotes:
- Rachel: "I feel like I'm able to carry our kids longer and I don't complain about it as much as he does." [02:00]
- Dr. John DeLoney: "Judgment with compassion is accountability. It's awesome. It's a good thing." [02:18]
- Rachel: "Whenever I try to hold him to account... he just ignores me." [05:08]
Insights and Advice:
- Understanding Coping Mechanisms: Dr. DeLoney explains that Rachel’s husband might be using food as a coping mechanism to numb emotional struggles, drawing parallels to addiction behaviors.
- Encouraging Professional Help: He emphasizes the importance of seeking counseling to address underlying issues rather than solely focusing on superficial changes.
- Prioritizing Self-Care: Dr. DeLoney advises Rachel to prioritize her own health and well-being, suggesting that she seek support to manage the emotional toll of her husband's behavior.
Conclusion: Rachel is encouraged to seek professional counseling for her husband and herself to navigate the complex interplay between his health habits and their relationship dynamics.
2. JB’s Battle with Mother and Mother-in-Law Dynamics
Timestamp: [20:28] – [32:17]
Caller: JB from Louisville, Kentucky
Topic: Handling tensions and passive-aggressive behaviors between her mother and mother-in-law, and the impact on her family.
Discussion Points:
- Family Tensions: JB is caught between her overbearing mother and her mother-in-law, who becomes jealous of her mother's social media posts and interactions with their children.
- Social Media Strain: The competitive nature of social media exacerbates the conflict, with her mother-in-law making passive-aggressive comments that undermine JB’s parenting and boundary-setting.
- Impact on Children: JB is concerned that these familial tensions are negatively affecting her children, potentially perpetuating unhealthy relationship patterns.
Notable Quotes:
- JB: "My mother in law is very plugged into social media... she gets jealous." [20:34]
- Dr. John DeLoney: "You get to decide whether passive aggressive comments are going to cause you one second of grief or not." [25:12]
- JB: "I don't want those grudges to be turned to the boys." [28:46]
Insights and Advice:
- Setting Boundaries: Dr. DeLoney advises JB to establish clear boundaries regarding family interactions, especially concerning the sharing of her children’s photos online.
- Communication Strategies: He emphasizes the importance of JB’s husband addressing the issues directly with his mother, reducing JB’s burden in the middle.
- Grieving Unmet Expectations: Dr. DeLoney encourages JB to grieve the idealized vision of family harmony and accept the reality, focusing on fostering positive relationships with those who are willing to engage respectfully.
Conclusion: JB is guided to set firm boundaries and communicate effectively with her husband and in-laws to protect her family's well-being, while also allowing herself to grieve the loss of her envisioned family dynamics.
3. Juliet’s Obsession with Planning and Control in Her Marriage
Timestamp: [37:42] – [48:03]
Caller: Juliet from Boise, Idaho
Topic: Overcoming her need for excessive planning and control, which affects her relationship with her less-organized husband.
Discussion Points:
- Control vs. Trust: Juliet admits to an ingrained need to control outcomes, leading to tensions with her husband who prefers spontaneity and less structured planning.
- Marriage Dynamics: Despite a stable and loving marriage, her obsessive planning causes her husband to feel distrusted and undervalued.
- Personal History: Juliet acknowledges that her controlling behavior stems from long-standing personal habits developed before marriage, exacerbated by the challenges of being a stay-at-home mom.
Notable Quotes:
- Juliet: "I feel like I'm making my husband... think I don't trust him." [38:32]
- Dr. John DeLoney: "Underneath control is feeling a lack of safety." [38:50]
- Dr. John DeLoney: "You’re giving him a roadmap... for how he can love you and bring you this feeling of safety and security." [46:12]
Insights and Advice:
- Identifying Root Causes: Dr. DeLoney highlights that Juliet’s need for control is rooted in feelings of insecurity and lack of safety, suggesting she explore these underlying emotions.
- Collaborative Planning: He advises Juliet to frame her planning as a roadmap for mutual understanding and security, allowing her husband to feel supported rather than controlled.
- Open Communication: Encourages Juliet to express her feelings of urgency and need for structure openly with her husband, fostering a collaborative approach to planning that respects both partners’ styles.
Conclusion: Juliet is encouraged to acknowledge her need for control and address the underlying insecurities driving this behavior. By fostering open communication and collaborative planning, she can create a more harmonious and trusting relationship with her husband.
Final Thoughts
Throughout the episode, Dr. John DeLoney provides compassionate and practical advice tailored to each caller’s unique challenges in their relationships. He emphasizes the importance of communication, setting healthy boundaries, seeking professional help when needed, and understanding the underlying emotional drivers of behavior. By addressing these core issues, listeners are empowered to navigate their relationship challenges with greater insight and resilience.
Notable Exclusions:
- Advertisements and Promotions: The summary intentionally omits all promotional content and advertisements featured between calls to maintain focus on the core content of the episode.