Podcast Summary: The Dr. John DeLoney Show – "I’ve Been Smoking Weed Since I Was 14 (Should I Quit?)"

Episode Information:

• Title: I’ve Been Smoking Weed Since I Was 14 (Should I Quit?)
• Release Date: December 16, 2024
• Host: Dr. John DeLoney, Ramsey Network
• Description: A caller-driven show addressing real talk on relationships and mental health challenges, encouraging listeners to engage by sending questions via voicemail or email.

Introduction

In this episode of The Dr. John DeLoney Show, Dr. DeLoney engages with callers who share their personal struggles related to substance use, family dynamics, and mental health. The episode focuses on the pressing question from Harold, a 19-year-old battling long-term marijuana use, and later delves into complex family issues presented by Abby and Paige.

Caller Spotlight: Harold – Overcoming Long-Term Marijuana Use

Timestamp: [00:05] – [21:05]

Harold’s Story: Harold initiates the conversation by recounting his initiation into marijuana use at the age of 14. On the last day of eighth grade, peer pressure led him to smoke weed vapes, resulting in an overwhelming experience:

• Harold: "I hit it like 80 times. I was gone." [00:05]

Dr. DeLoney’s Response: Dr. DeLoney expresses concern and curiosity about Harold's current state, emphasizing the severity of Harold’s early and extensive use.

• Dr. DeLoney: "80 hits the first time out is not normal." [07:57]

Exploring Harold’s Background: Harold shares his tumultuous family history, including the death of his biological father due to a heroin overdose when Harold was young. Raised by his uncle, Harold describes his mother as someone who is heavily into marijuana, contributing to his prolonged substance use.

• Harold: "He overdosed on heroin when I was real young." [08:43]
• Harold: "My mom just... split up when I was really young." [09:16]

Emotional Impact: Dr. DeLoney probes into the emotional void Harold has experienced, suggesting that Harold's substance use was a coping mechanism to numb his pain stemming from family tragedies.

• Dr. DeLoney: "You have the deep internalized understanding that you are half your mom and half your dad." [10:23]

Encouragement Towards Sobriety: Dr. DeLoney provides a profound and heartfelt push towards overcoming addiction, emphasizing the importance of making active choices to seek professional help and build a purposeful life.

• Dr. DeLoney: "You can do really hard work to find a purpose. Your purpose has to be in service of others." [15:06]
• Dr. DeLoney: "You can go today, go down to a local clinic... you can have a conversation with a licensed therapist." [17:25]

Harold’s Decision: Moved by the conversation, Harold commits to seeking help, expressing gratitude and acknowledgment of his need for change.

• Harold: "Thank you. I need it." [18:33]
• Harold: "I'm in." [19:00]

Key Takeaways:

• Early exposure to substance use can have long-lasting impacts.
• Family dynamics and unresolved grief contribute significantly to substance abuse.
• Professional help and a supportive network are crucial for overcoming addiction.
• Embracing gratitude and setting personal goals can aid in the recovery journey.

Caller Spotlight: Abby – Setting Boundaries Amid Past Abuse

Timestamp: [24:16] – [31:34]

Abby’s Dilemma: Abby reaches out with concerns about navigating family gatherings during Christmas, where past abuse by certain family members has resurfaced stress and discomfort.

• Abby: "They make us uncomfortable. They have physically abused one of my younger cousins." [24:30]

Dr. DeLoney’s Guidance: Dr. DeLoney emphasizes the importance of standing firm in setting boundaries and not allowing past trauma to dictate present relationships. He encourages Abby to adopt a posture of strength and assertiveness when addressing her family members.

• Dr. DeLoney: "Adopt that posture, because right now you're tiptoeing around." [26:38]
• Dr. DeLoney: "You are not the crazy one here." [27:22]

Handling Trauma and Accountability: The conversation delves into the impact of unaddressed trauma and the necessity of accountability within the family structure to prevent further abuse and emotional harm.

• Dr. DeLoney: "If I'm in your situation, I would probably send an email out to everybody or to your parents and say, mom, Dad, I... I'm gonna give everybody seven days." [30:00]

Empowerment and Support: Dr. DeLoney fosters a sense of empowerment in Abby, urging her to take proactive steps to protect herself and others, even if it means disrupting long-standing family dynamics.

• Dr. DeLoney: "It's a good reminder that Christmas time is here. Parties, buying things, being said that no one bought you anything... there's so much going on that we can forget to set aside time for what's truly important." [31:02]

Key Takeaways:

• Establishing clear boundaries is essential for mental and emotional well-being.
• Addressing past abuses requires courage and can lead to healthier relationships.
• Taking proactive steps can prevent the perpetuation of trauma within family units.
• Emotional strength and seeking support are crucial when confronting familial issues.

Caller Spotlight: Paige – Navigating Political Divides with Family

Timestamp: [35:21] – [45:30]

Paige’s Conflict: Paige discusses a heated argument with her sister over abortion, which has led to a temporary estrangement. The disagreement stems from differing political and personal beliefs about abortion.

• Paige: "I think abortion is murder. And she said, well, I guess I'm a murderer then." [35:30]

Dr. DeLoney’s Approach: Dr. DeLoney advises Paige to prioritize her relationship with her sister over political differences. He emphasizes the importance of compassion and understanding, urging Paige to reach out and mend the strained relationship despite their disagreement.

• Dr. DeLoney: "You are not just going to lose your sister over an issue." [38:47]
• Dr. DeLoney: "I flipped the conversation. Now I only talk about issues after I've connected with the person." [40:05]

Healing and Reconciliation: Encouraging open communication, Dr. DeLoney suggests that Paige acknowledge her sister’s pain and express unconditional support, fostering an environment where both can heal and maintain their bond.

• Dr. DeLoney: "I would reach out and call my sister." [38:31]
• Dr. DeLoney: "If you believe that... she’s my sister and I will make sure she feels safe and loved, then I'm getting on the phone right after you." [41:04]

Encouraging Empathy: He highlights the necessity of seeing beyond political stances to the human emotions and experiences that underpin them, urging listeners to empathize and uphold familial love even amidst disagreement.

• Dr. DeLoney: "Even if you have intellectual differences, you still love each other." [41:17]

Key Takeaways:

• Political and personal disagreements should not overshadow familial bonds.
• Compassion and open communication are vital for maintaining healthy relationships.
• Empathy allows for understanding and bridging gaps caused by differing beliefs.
• Prioritizing relationships over disagreements fosters long-term familial harmony.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Throughout the episode, Dr. John DeLoney adeptly navigates complex personal issues presented by his callers, offering compassionate and practical advice. He emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, professional help, setting healthy boundaries, and maintaining relationships despite disagreements. The episode underscores the critical role of mental and emotional health in overcoming personal challenges and fostering meaningful connections with others.

Notable Quotes:

• Harold: "I hit it like 80 times. I was gone." [00:05]
• Dr. DeLoney: "You can do really hard work to find a purpose. Your purpose has to be in service of others." [15:06]
• Dr. DeLoney: "You are not the crazy one here." [27:22]
• Dr. DeLoney: "Empathy allows for understanding and bridging gaps caused by differing beliefs." [41:17]

Final Recommendations:

• Seek Professional Help: Whether dealing with substance abuse, family trauma, or interpersonal conflicts, professional guidance is invaluable.
• Set Boundaries: Protecting your mental and emotional well-being may require setting clear boundaries with others.
• Prioritize Relationships: Maintaining and nurturing relationships, even amidst disagreements, is essential for lasting familial harmony.
• Embrace Empathy: Understanding and empathizing with others fosters deeper connections and healing.

Join the Conversation: If you’re experiencing similar challenges or have questions, Dr. John DeLoney invites you to reach out via voicemail at 844-693-3291 or email askjohn@ramseysolutions.com. Share your story and receive the support you need on your journey to better mental and emotional health.