The Dr. John Delony Show

Episode: My Husband Constantly Lies About Money (Why?)
Date: January 7, 2026
Host: Dr. John Delony (Ramsey Network)

Episode Overview

This episode tackles the real-life challenge of "financial infidelity"—constant lies about money within marriage. Dr. John Delony fields a call from Marie, whose husband continually deceives her about their finances, especially during stressful periods like a government shutdown. Delony dives into why such patterns emerge, how contempt and mistrust can be co-created, and what it takes to rebuild trust and teamwork. Later, he speaks with other callers about dealing with a spouse’s conspiracy-driven beliefs, handling workplace crises, and fostering healthy communication across tough topics.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Financial Infidelity: Marie’s Story

Timestamps: [00:05]–[19:35]

• Marie’s Dilemma:
  Marie’s husband lied about receiving paychecks during a government shutdown, leading her to make household sacrifices unnecessarily. This isn’t the first instance; he’s kept financial secrets for years.

  “He lied to me about… Why was he lying to you?”
  — Marie & Dr. John Delony [02:29]

• Patterns of Behavior:
  Marie shares examples: broken promises about paying off debt together and supporting her dreams once his retirement money arrived—none of which materialized.

  “It’s just over and over again. And this time, lying to my face and saying that he was not getting paid is just again... And I just feel used.”
  — Marie [08:28]

• Delony’s Perspective:
  He classifies her husband’s behavior as "financial infidelity," stressing how secrecy about money can be as damaging as sexual infidelity.

  “Lying and hiding money is… It’s a form of infidelity, right? I call it financial infidelity.”
  — Dr. John Delony [03:39]

• Are You a Safe Teammate?
  Delony challenges Marie to honestly assess if she’s a partner her husband can safely share financial anxieties with, or if her reactions have contributed to the secrecy.

  “Are you a wife he can tell stuff like that to?”
  — Dr. John Delony [02:59]

  “If you’re a person that he can be open with, then it’s a different trajectory.”
  — Dr. John Delony [04:16]

• Co-creating the Cycle:
  Delony equates the dynamic to a dysfunctional “dance” that both are perpetuating. He pushes Marie towards vulnerability and reflection rather than just asserting blame.

  “It’s usually a co-created dance, right?”
  — Dr. John Delony [06:44]

• Root Causes—Family History:
  Delony probes the possible influence of her husband’s upbringing (“grew up broke” and responsible for his mother) on his money anxieties and secretive habits.

  “If your husband was on the phone with me…I would ask him, where did he get burned with money in the past?”
  — Dr. John Delony [12:35]

• Path Forward: Radical Openness & Ownership
  Delony advises Marie to initiate an honest, non-combative conversation, confess her own shortcomings, and propose new habits for transparency (shared logins, single checking account, learning about “his” PayPal funds).

  “You have to turn the lights on and turn the music off. … You have to put on the table: here’s what I have brought to this dance.”
  — Dr. John Delony [13:34]

  “When I don’t know where our money is, it terrifies me. I can’t breathe.”
  — Dr. John Delony [19:09]

• Notable Challenge:
  He warns Marie that the process is risky, as her husband may reject this new level of openness. Still, it’s essential for future trust.

  “Here’s the scariest part about that. He may say no.”
  — Dr. John Delony [15:36]

2. When Your Spouse Goes Down the Rabbit Hole

Caller: Carlos — Timestamps: [22:44]–[39:29]

• Situation:
  Carlos's wife has become increasingly skeptical of societal norms, from homeschooling and vaccine schedules to not wanting a birth certificate for their newborn.

  “She doesn’t want to give our baby…birth certificate or Social Security number for our newborn.”
  — Carlos [23:49]

• Underlying Fear & Isolation:
  Delony recognizes these beliefs as stemming from intense isolation and anxiety, amplified by social media echo chambers.

  “We live in a world now where that fear is channeled through algorithms simply designed for one thing: to keep you glued to them. And the easiest way…is to scream: You’re going to hurt or kill your child.”
  — Dr. John Delony [25:31]

• Fractured Intimacy:
  The couple’s emotional and physical intimacy has deteriorated—symptoms of deeper relational and psychological disconnection.

  “We don’t have intercourse. We don’t hug. We don’t kiss all that much…We can’t really have a lot of conversations…like finances and everyday life, really.”
  — Carlos [27:22]

• How to Approach:
  Delony advises compassion over logic—inviting connection and expressing vulnerability, rather than dismissing her fears or providing data (which only deepens her resistance).

  “If you sit down and say: ‘We’re never having sex, you’re not doing this…’ then you become yet another one of those…her entire feed is telling her is trying to kill everybody.”
  — Dr. John Delony [32:03]

• Strategy:
  Invite honest conversation using “I” language (“I miss you. I’m worried about us”). Involve family or friends if necessary, but focus first on reconnecting emotionally.

  “My plea to you is to enter into not trying to solve each one of those issues, because you’re actually going to drive her away.”
  — Dr. John Delony [31:36]

3. Workplace Stress & Taking Your Lumps

Caller: Ted — Timestamps: [40:40]–[54:55]

• Incident:
  Ted, a 22-year-old lab worker, makes a safety call (evacuating for a gas leak) and is reprimanded despite prioritizing safety. He’s discouraged and searching for a new job but feels stuck.

  “I thought…people would be like, ‘Oh, man, I’m so glad you’re still alive,’ but no one ever said anything like that.”
  — Ted [42:13]

• Dr. Delony’s Advice:
  Take responsibility where warranted, but don’t let the experience drain his character or dignity. Learn, keep working hard, build savings for future independence, and avoid letting negative feelings dictate quitting.

  “I will not let them have my dignity. I will not let them have my integrity. … If I have a strong feeling, even if it’s wrong, am I going to take my ball and go home? Or am I going to take my lumps?”
  — Dr. John Delony [50:59]

• Resilience and Growth:
  Delony frames mistakes and difficult feedback as vital experiences for developing resilience and professionalism.

  “Who are you going to be after the thing happened? That’s character.”
  — Dr. John Delony [55:10]

4. Bonus: Intimacy and Communication in Marriage

Listener Question — Timestamps: [60:58]–[62:11]

• Brief Advice:
  A listener asks about difficulty speaking up for what she wants in the bedroom. Delony recommends practicing vulnerability and communication in all realms of the relationship, not just sexual. He gives playful, practical ideas, like creating lists and “envelopes” of desires to help spouses voice preferences with less pressure.

  “Intimacy is the creation of a secret world between two people. … We are going to begin to practice speaking up for what you want.”
  — Dr. John Delony [62:10]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Financial infidelity… is a form of infidelity.”
  — Dr. John Delony [03:39]

• “Are you a person he can be open with?”
  — Dr. John Delony [04:16]

• “It’s usually a co-created dance, right?”
  — Dr. John Delony [06:44]

• “When you’re vying for power, it exposes what you are most scared of.”
  — Dr. John Delony [11:29]

• “You have to turn the lights on and turn the music off.”
  — Dr. John Delony [13:34]

• “Lying to my face… that’s not faulty logic, that’s lying.”
  — Marie [09:45]

• “This isn’t a logic issue. … This is a terrified mother response.”
  — Dr. John Delony [35:13]

• “Who are you going to be after the thing happened? That’s character.”
  — Dr. John Delony [55:10]

Important Segment Timestamps

• Financial infidelity main discussion: [00:05]–[19:35]
• Navigating a partner’s conspiracy beliefs: [22:44]–[39:29]
• Young adult workplace crisis: [40:40]–[54:55]
• Intimacy and practicing vulnerability: [60:58]–[62:11]

Takeaways

• Financial secrecy is as damaging as any other betrayal in marriage; teamwork requires radical openness.
• Cycles of secrecy and judgment are often co-created; self-reflection and humility break the loop.
• Fear, isolation, and anxiety fuel distrust and withdrawal (in finances, parenting, or intimacy).
• Practical transparency (shared accounts, full access, routine honest conversations) rebuilds trust.
• Resilience at work and home grows from facing discomfort, apologizing, and doubling down on personal integrity—not fleeing at the first sign of conflict.
• Intimacy thrives on practiced vulnerability, not just honesty about sex, but all needs and desires in marriage.

This summary captures the substance and spirit of Dr. Delony’s high-energy, empathetic, and sometimes playful approach to real-life relationship and mental health struggles. Perfect for anyone looking to understand why money secrecy persists, how to break toxic cycles, and how to handle tough moments with courage and dignity.