The Dr. John Delony Show

Episode: “My Husband Is a Serial Cheater and Nobody Knows”
Date: February 13, 2026
Host: Dr. John Delony (Ramsey Network)

Episode Overview

This episode dives deeply into relationship wounds, trust, boundaries, and the struggle to value oneself amid family pressures and betrayal. Three main callers seek advice:

1. A woman hiding her husband’s serial cheating from her family
2. A husband desperate to support his depressed wife
3. A sister grappling with family estrangement due to past text messages

Dr. Delony offers direct, compassionate, and sometimes challenging counsel. The discussions revolve around choosing honesty, self-worth, facing pain, and the realities of complex family dynamics.

[01:14] Caller #1: Hiding a Serial Cheater – “Sarah’s Story”

Key Discussion Points

• Sarah explains her situation:
  • Married for one year, together for five. Her husband has been caught sexting other women three times.
  • Her family adores him and is unaware. She hides his behavior to maintain newfound acceptance after her family disapproved of her prior marriage.
  • She feels alone and unsure if she should confide in family or anyone.

Insights & Guidance

• “But it’s built on a lie.” (Dr. Delony, 02:17)
  Dr. Delony underscores the unstable foundation: pleasing her family with a facade comes at the cost of honesty.

• Self-worth & patterns:

  • Delony notices Sarah’s tendency to put others’ approval above her safety and integrity.
  • He challenges her: “Why do you care less about your own safety and integrity and more about the fake analysis of people who don't live in your home?” (02:24)
  • Sarah admits lifelong patterns of people-pleasing, rooted in childhood exclusion and instability.

• Support beyond family:

  • Dr. Delony reassures her she doesn’t “have to” disclose everything to her family—especially if they’re not emotionally safe or supportive allies.
  • He emphasizes building support elsewhere: “You’re worth making a phone call to somebody, even if you have to pay them by the hour to sit down and talk…” (10:28)

• Confronting her husband’s behavior:

  • Sarah states, “It’s a pattern… is this how it’s going to be for the rest of our lives?” (12:16)
  • Delony is frank about the implications: “I don’t work with people that I don’t trust. And if people will cheat on their spouse, my God, they’ll cheat on me.” (14:07-14:43)

• Path forward – practical steps:

  • Seek therapy/counseling as a priority for herself.
  • Write a list of “I am worth…” statements and bring it to counseling.
  • Acknowledge both staying and leaving will be “hard”—choose the path that affirms her worth.

Memorable Quotes

• “Behavior is a pattern and I can’t accept patterns. I can accept a mistake that we, that you make and we move on from it and it never happens again. But now this is clearly a pattern…” (Caller, 12:20)
• “Choose the one that’s going to give you the most worth.” (Dr. Delony, 18:52)

Important Timestamps

• 02:17 – Foundation built on lies
• 04:34 – Challenges her self-image and value
• 10:28 – “You’re worth making a phone call…”
• 12:16 – Discussing marital patterns and consequences
• 14:07 – “I don’t work with people that I don’t trust.”
• 18:52 – “Choose the one that’s going to give you the most worth.”

[20:36] Caller #2: “James” – Supporting a Spouse with Depression

Key Discussion Points

• James’ struggle:

  • Married 20 years, wife has emotionally ‘checked out’, is depressed and losing her sense of purpose.
  • He is overwhelmed doing household tasks and seeks ways to support her, wanting to avoid “being on her case.”

• Common “fixer” pitfalls:

  • Dr. Delony warns that “fixing” amplifies shame: “It comes across as a minute by minute, day by day confirmation that the things you feel about yourself are indeed true. You are a failure… you are broken.” (24:43)

• New approach—connection, not correction:

  • Delony encourages James to stop “score-keeping” and seeking reciprocity, and instead focus on loving action and presence.
  • “Intimacy and reconnection comes from, ‘Hey, I see you’re in the dark. I got a candle here. I’m coming to you.’ Because if she was trapped in the neighbor’s house, you’d kick the door in to go get her. And right now she’s trapped inside her own self.” (32:24-32:41)

• Practical suggestions:

  • Engage in her world: read her favorite book, watch her shows, ask how to love her today.
  • Seek his own counseling—not as a fix, but to learn to love her better.
  • Invite her into joint counseling in a way that affirms love and partnership, not as an additional task or pressure.

Memorable Quotes

• “What you have been doing isn’t working, period, at the end of that sentence. Let’s go rescue your wife, man.” (36:19)
• “If she had the flu, you'd bring her soup… So if she's struggling from depression, we're going to keep reaching.” (35:28-35:33)

Important Timestamps

• 24:43 – The harm of “fixing”
• 32:24 – The candle metaphor: connecting in the darkness
• 34:14 – Counseling: a shared journey of love and support
• 36:19 – Choosing a new approach

[39:55] Caller #3: “Holly” – Family Estrangement After Harsh Texts

Key Discussion Points

• Seven-year-old texts led to ongoing turmoil:

  • Holly sent immature, critical messages about her brother’s wife. The wife found them; now, years later, Holly and her mother are ostracized.
  • Holly apologizes repeatedly, but her sister-in-law rebuffs all attempts at reconciliation.
  • Her brother is “torn,” misses his family, but prioritizes his wife.

• Delony reframes the narrative:

  • Challenges Holly’s assumption that her brother’s agency was stolen: “He chose another woman who became number one in his life… that’s a tough pill to swallow.” (45:41)
  • Encourages her to let go of the fantasy-family ideal and acknowledge her real grief and loss.

• Practical path forward:

  • “Set it down. Stop carrying her around with you. Your brother chose her, and he’s continuing to wake up every day and choose her over and over again. And no amount of hate, no amount of side eye… is changing anything other than it’s killing you.” (53:17-53:38)
  • Suggests focusing on positive outreach directly to her brother—not to repair, but to demonstrate ongoing love.

Memorable Quotes

• “No behavior has ever changed long term through complaining and nagging your way to something.” (56:42)
• “Let yourself be sad and then go do the next right thing…” (57:41)

Important Timestamps

• 45:41 – On siblings being replaced by spouses
• 53:17 – The toll of resentment
• 56:42 – Nagging doesn’t repair relationships
• 57:41 – The path forward: acceptance and sadness

[60:03] Bonus Listener Mailbag: The “Who Did You Vote For?” Debate

Key Discussion Points

• Listeners took issue with Dr. Delony saying he and his wife don’t discuss who they voted for.
• Dr. Delony clarifies:
  • They discuss politics often, but intentionally never ask that direct question—a routine started to avoid disclosure pressures at work.
  • In their home, everything else is open for debate.
  • He values not letting “which team someone’s on” define relationships, especially in public or with students.

Quotes

• “People are interested in being on the winning team… I refuse to give that to people.” (63:13)
• “When you show up sitting with a hurting person… none of this other stuff matters.” (64:35)

Important Timestamps

• 60:43 – Listeners’ concerns about marital transparency
• 61:14 – Dr. Delony’s rationale and explanation

Episode Tone

Dr. Delony remains empathetic, sometimes playfully irreverent but always honest and no-nonsense. He repeatedly affirms callers’ value and right to wholeness, while gently (or not so gently) challenging self-defeating narratives. The approach is practical, direct, and compassionate, put in plain, everyday language.

Standout Moments

• “You’re worth making a phone call to somebody, even if you have to pay them by the hour…” (10:28)
• “If people will cheat on their spouse, my God, they’ll cheat on me.” (14:43)
• “What you have been doing isn’t working… Let’s go rescue your wife, man.” (36:19)
• “Your brother chose her… it’s heartbreak. Let yourself be sad and then go do the next right thing.” (57:17-57:41)

This episode is a must-listen for anyone wrestling with tough relationship crossroads—infidelity, depression, or family estrangement—and wanting actionable, empathetic, and brave advice for the next right move.