The Dr. John DeLoney Show: "My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me" – Episode Summary

In this compelling episode of The Dr. John DeLoney Show, hosted by the Ramsey Network, Dr. John DeLoney tackles severe relationship and mental health challenges through heartfelt conversations with callers. The episode titled "My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me," released on May 7, 2025, delves deep into personal struggles, offering insightful advice and practical resources to navigate turbulent times.

1. Elizabeth’s Harrowing Experience

Background: Elizabeth shares a distressing account of her rapidly evolving marriage and subsequent domestic violence. Meeting her husband in February 2023, they married in November and discovered she was pregnant in December. Now, with a seven-month-old son, their relationship has become tumultuous.

The Incident: Elizabeth recounts a violent altercation that led to her husband’s arrest for aggravated assault. She describes the escalation of a typical argument into physical abuse:

"He had pushed me back onto the couch and he had put his hands around my neck."
[02:22] Elizabeth

During the confrontation, Elizabeth took away her husband's gaming headset in an attempt to resolve the conflict, which she acknowledges might have been the catalyst for his aggressive behavior.

Dr. John’s Response: Dr. John emphasizes the gravity of the situation, distinguishing between normal marital disagreements and criminal actions:

"What you did was bratty. What he did was a crime."
[12:05] Dr. John DeLoney

He condemns the misuse of a child as leverage in conflicts and highlights the necessity of ensuring personal and familial safety.

Advice and Resources: Dr. John provides Elizabeth with a multifaceted support plan:

• Safety First: Encourages developing a safety plan to protect herself and her child.
• Educational Resources: Recommends Ken Coleman’s book and an assessment tool to explore career opportunities beyond the current turmoil.
• Financial Stability: Offers access to Financial Peace University to empower her with financial knowledge.
• Budgeting Tools: Introduces the EveryDollar app to help her achieve economic independence.
• Mental Well-being: Suggests reading Building a Non-Anxious Life to foster emotional resilience.

"I'm so glad that you're in counseling. Please continue to go."
[22:32] Dr. John DeLoney

2. Allison’s Quest to Balance Fun Parenting

Background: Allison reaches out from Columbus, Ohio, seeking guidance on becoming a more engaging and fun parent while maintaining her role as a disciplinarian. Married to a creative and highly interactive husband, Allison feels she struggles to relax and connect with her children on a playful level.

Her Challenge: Despite implementing strategies like biweekly breakfast dates and reading children’s books, Allison experiences physical and emotional barriers that hinder her ability to be the "fun" parent her kids gravitate towards.

"I feel like my body is just pulling me away and just shutting down."
[28:13] Allison

Dr. John’s Response: Dr. John commends Allison’s self-awareness and encourages her to infuse intentional silliness into her interactions with her children:

"We’re going to throw spaghettios on each other in the backyard. I don't know what you're gonna do, but just decide. We're gonna be silly."
[36:29] Dr. John DeLoney

He advises scheduling playful activities, even if they feel awkward at first, to gradually shift her mindset and bodily responses towards relaxation and fun.

Practical Strategies:

• Scheduled Silliness: Plan specific times for unconventional and playful activities.
• Sharing the Mental Load: Encourage her husband to take on more organizational responsibilities, freeing her to engage more creatively.
• Embracing Imperfection: Allow herself to be imperfect and enjoy the spontaneity of being playful without overthinking.

"You're awesome. You're harvesting all that work and introspection."
[29:36] Dr. John DeLoney

3. Dwayne’s Struggle with Family Dynamics and Career

Background: Dwayne from St. Louis contacts the show expressing frustration over volatile family dynamics and the feeling that their life’s vision is derailing. Working as a specialty welder, he spends approximately ten months a year traveling, homeschooling his children in an RV, which adds layers of complexity to his family life.

Challenges Faced: Dwayne outlines several hardships, including the tragic suicide of his father-in-law on their property, his eldest child’s autism diagnosis, and the impact of his frequent absences on his family's cohesion. He grapples with balancing financial obligations, such as medical and therapy bills, while trying to maintain meaningful relationships with his children.

"I just feel like I just can't figure out how to map our life out to get out of what I consider a bad rut."
[45:05] Dwayne

Dr. John’s Response: Dr. John acknowledges the enormity of Dwayne’s sacrifices and encourages him to reassess priorities alongside his wife:

"You have to choose your hard. I'm gonna choose to drive home every other weekend, 10 months out of the year to see my boys."
[59:15] Dr. John DeLoney

He emphasizes the importance of open communication and making conscious choices that align with the family's well-being, even if they involve difficult decisions.

Guidance and Solutions:

• Open Dialogue: Engage in honest conversations with his wife about their shared goals and the sacrifices needed to achieve them.
• Financial Planning: Utilize available resources and possibly restructure financial strategies to alleviate stress related to bills and savings.
• Emotional Support: Seek consistent therapy for both himself and his wife to navigate grief, stress, and the challenges of parenting children with special needs.
• Flexibility in Lifestyle: Consider adjustments to their traveling schedule to foster a more stable home environment when possible.

"Start to map it out. Thank you, my brother. It's been an absolute honor to talk to you."
[59:44] Dr. John DeLoney

Key Takeaways and Insights

1. Distinguishing Conflict from Abuse:

   • Recognizing the difference between normal marital disagreements and abusive behavior is crucial. While arguments are natural, physical violence and intimidation are unacceptable and criminal.

2. Intentional Parenting:

   • Balancing discipline with playfulness requires self-awareness and proactive strategies. Scheduling playful activities can help parents like Allison become more engaged and less stressed.

3. Prioritizing Family Over Career:

   • Dwayne’s story underscores the importance of evaluating career choices in the context of family well-being. Making deliberate choices to spend quality time with children can have long-term positive effects on family dynamics.

4. Utilizing Resources:

   • Accessing financial education, budgeting tools, and mental health resources can empower individuals to take control of their personal and familial situations.

5. Communication is Key:

   • Open and honest communication between partners is essential in navigating complex family and personal challenges. It facilitates mutual understanding and collaborative problem-solving.

6. Self-Care and Support Systems:

   • Engaging in counseling and building support networks are vital for individuals facing emotional and psychological stress. These resources provide the necessary tools to cope and thrive.

This episode of The Dr. John DeLoney Show offers profound insights into handling severe relationship crises, enhancing parenting strategies, and balancing personal and professional life. Dr. John's empathetic approach and practical advice serve as a beacon of hope and guidance for listeners navigating similar challenges.