Podcast Summary: The Dr. John Delony Show – "My In-Laws Are Ruining Christmas (Help)" (December 24, 2025)

Episode Overview

In this lively and candid Christmas Eve “Ask Me Anything” (AMA) special, Dr. John Delony, Kelly, and the Ramsey Network team tackle a gamut of listener questions about navigating the holidays—especially the sticky family situations and traditions that come with them. With their trademark humor, warmth, and practical wisdom, they share stories, set boundaries, and swap ideas for keeping the holidays sane, inclusive, and meaningful. Topics range from dealing with political talk at the dinner table, to gift giving amidst income gaps, to how to honor lost loved ones, all the way to the great “Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?” debate.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Navigating Family Conversations & Setting Holiday Boundaries

• Main Issue: Listeners ask about managing divisive topics like politics and current events during family gatherings.

• Ben’s Approach:

  • Proactively communicates boundaries in advance, often via an email listing off-limit topics:

  “We send an email about what our travel plans are...and then I put in the email things we will not talk about...We're not going to talk about politics.” (Ben, 02:59)

  • Encourages not casting people in “a movie they don’t know they’re in” by holding them to unspoken expectations.
  • If someone insists on breaking boundaries (“If you come to my house, I talk about whatever I want”), you’re empowered to opt out as an adult.

• Kelly’s Tactic:

  • Simply removes herself from conversations she doesn’t want to be a part of or takes a break by going on a drive with her son.
  • Notes that most of her family agrees on some topics but sometimes she just doesn’t want to discuss them.

  “I just usually move rooms...I'll just, like, ease my way out of the conversation...Sometimes I wish that I could drink, but I just move rooms.” (Kelly, 05:04)

• Takeaway: Proactivity and clear, kind communication are critical; it’s okay to physically remove yourself or pre-negotiate conversational boundaries.

2. Surviving Housefuls of Family Over the Holidays

• Planning Ahead:

  • Set expectations about guest stays far in advance—ideally months earlier.
  • If compromise is needed, suggest a shorter stay or a trade-off like a retreat after family leaves.

  “Your sanity begins way upstream...In September, when y'all start talking about the holidays. Not waiting till December.” (Ben, 06:57)

  • If a long stay is inevitable: Find activities to recharge—errands, drives, movies, hobbies.

3. Gift-Giving & Income Discrepancies

• Guidance:

  • Set and stick to a low dollar limit to ensure fairness and minimize discomfort.
  • If you’re the one with fewer means, give freely within your limits and don’t let others’ choices add pressure.
  • If you’re more affluent, don’t “come over the top” with lavish gifts to outshine others.

  “If you happen to be in a season of blessing and you're making good money and the rest of your family isn't, don't be that guy...I made Christmas about me, not them.” (Ben, 24:17)

4. Honoring Loved Ones Lost During the Holidays

• Creating Space for Grief:

  • Suggests family write short memorial notes or poems to share at the beginning of the gathering.
  • Acknowledges the loss out loud and celebrates the person with stories, laughter, and sometimes recreating favorite recipes (and laughing if they flop).

  “Pretending that person's not there is a nightmare...It's about putting it on the table and then giving everybody an action that they can do to participate.” (Ben, 25:11) “There's a missing person. And we're gonna tell stories and laugh...and just be okay with that.” (Kelly, 26:21)

5. Classic Christmas Debates & Traditions

• Top Christmas Movies (09:04)

  • Ben: “The Nightmare Before Christmas” (favorite), “Christmas Vacation,” “Die Hard” (yes, it’s a Christmas movie, strongly affirmed).
  • Hallmark/Lifetime-style movies are admitted holiday “guilty pleasures” for others in the family.
  • Animated specials like original “Grinch,” “Rudolph,” and “Klaus” on Netflix get strong endorsements.

• Best & Worst Christmas Carols (14:21)

  • Ben’s least favorite: “Little Drummer Boy.” (“Few things make me question whether God is real than when I hear the Little Drummer Boy,” 14:21)
  • Kelly’s least favorite: “Mary Did You Know?”
  • Favorite: "Up on the Housetop" and whole “Nightmare Before Christmas” soundtrack.

• Food Traditions (30:14)

  • Ben loves sweet potatoes with marshmallows, green bean casserole, and Jello salads.
  • Least favorite: pressed ham.
  • Kelly dislikes peas, loves Jello salad.

• Dating & Family Gatherings (32:47)

  • Age and seriousness of the relationship matter when deciding whether to bring a significant other.
  • Ben jokes he enjoys the awkwardness new partners bring.

• Divorce & New Traditions (40:23)

  • The first Christmas after divorce (or the loss of a family member) will be painful and different; accept that change, don’t use kids as pawns, and expect sadness/grieving.

6. Memorable Quotes & Lighthearted Moments

• “There's like, a level below Hallmark. Like, Hallmark is, like, Oscar level writing compared to...I guess Lifetime is kind of the porny Christmas ones.” (Ben, 10:37)

• "Traditions...can be great and sometimes they can feel like an obligation." (Ben, 36:37)

• On gift-giving:

  • “Telling your kids that Santa is real is not lying to your children. Get over it. Relax.” (Ben, 51:42)
  • “Gift cards are both thoughtful and lazy. It depends on the spirit behind it.” (Kelly, 55:19)

• “You can take the reindeer in people's yards and stack them up in a way that makes it look like they are making sweet, sweet love...That was one of my favorite holiday traditions.” (Ben, 43:23)

• On awkward in-laws situations:

  • “You get to practice having everybody mad at you. And welcome to being married.” (Ben, 38:56)
  • “Embrace the awkward. Christmas is going to be awkward and stretchy and weird...” (Ben, 39:51)

Notable Timestamps

• Setting boundaries with talkative in-laws: 02:59–04:47
• Evading heated holiday topics: 05:47–06:47
• Handling large holiday family stays: 06:47–08:48
• Die Hard as a Christmas movie debate: 08:57–10:35
• Best and worst Christmas Carols: 14:21–17:17
• Coping with loss during the holidays: 25:04–27:19
• Gift giving when money is tight: 23:36–24:54
• Bringing new partners home: 32:47–35:52
• First Christmas as a married (or divorced) couple: 38:47–41:56
• Tradition stories & chaotic family hijinks: 43:03–46:29; 58:45–59:27
• Santa conversation for kids: 51:38–52:41
• Are “Home Alone” parents the worst ever?: 68:12–69:55

Episode Tone & Language

The episode maintains a lighthearted, bantering tone—often self-deprecating and playful (“I'm so proud of you,” Kelly, 11:38; “Why'd you bring her? Like, well, we were making out and I thought it'd be good to bring her to Christmas,” Ben, 34:40)—even in the midst of genuine, heartfelt advice about family tensions, grief, and creating new traditions. The advice is both pragmatic and empathetic, never shying away from the difficulties the holidays can bring.

Conclusion

The episode weaves together fun Christmas debates and personal stories with practical advice for managing the very real challenges of the holidays, especially around family dynamics, grief, traditions, and boundaries. Whether you’re looking for permission to set limits, ideas for surviving with your sanity, or just some laughs about dysfunctional family traditions, this AMA is packed with wisdom and holiday spirit.