The Dr. John Delony Show — January 16, 2026
Episode: My Wife Said She Never Loved Me

Overview

This episode of The Dr. John Delony Show centers on the difficult realities and practical steps in navigating relationship and family turmoil. Dr. John guides listeners through the pain and recovery that follow devastating revelations in marriage, the intricacies of supporting family through crisis, and the importance of adult leadership in tough times. Callers bring raw, nuanced situations—from a wife’s shocking confession, to co-parenting teens through unplanned pregnancy, to the boundaries of family traditions—all approached with empathy, directness, and a focus on actionable next steps.

Segment 1: “My Wife Said She Never Loved Me”

[00:05 – 16:20]

Key Discussion Points

• Caller Jeremy’s Situation:

  • Jeremy’s wife disclosed she only married him to escape her parents, believes she’d thrive without him, and doesn’t trust him ([00:05], [01:13]).
  • He’s been busy—full-time student and two jobs—trying to provide, but his wife felt neglected.
  • After her confession, they separated; she quickly expressed regret and asked him to return, but he felt broken.

• Dr. John’s Immediate Response:

  • Praises Jeremy for not reacting explosively:

    “Good for you for not blowing off the handle... sitting there for a minute and being wise about what you said and did next.” ([01:53])

  • Frames freezing as a valid trauma response.
  • Challenges "I can't come back":

    “I want to take that off the table. I want to give you back ownership... and say, ‘I’m choosing to not come back.’ That’s how you begin to regain autonomy.” ([05:43])

• Rebuilding, Not Repairing:

  • Marriage as they knew it is over—if they move forward, it must be a new, co-created version:

    “The marriage you had is over... Let's create a picture together of what we want this to look like and feel like.” ([07:11], [07:20])

  • Encourages both partners to literally write their visions, then, like combining Pinterest boards, build a new shared plan. ([10:04]–[11:05])

• Exploring Motives and Patterns:

  • Compassionately reframes the wife’s behavior as possibly a desperate attempt to gain attention, despite the deeply hurtful delivery. ([11:17])
  • Shares his own marital experience of cruelty through emotional withdrawal and silent treatment:

    “True courage and true bravery is walking back through the front door and sitting at the table across from somebody and saying, the marriage we had is over. We need to ask each other, ‘Do we want to rebuild a new one?’” ([13:17])

• Action vs. Withholding:

  • Warns against weaponizing absence, advocating for direct, courageous engagement instead.

    “Don’t also be cruel in withholding or trying to reestablish yourself through absence. Head right through it, man.” ([16:20])

Notable Quotes

• Dr. John:

  "She was trying to get through to you. She did it in a horrible way, man, but she’s trying to get through to you." ([11:17])

• Dr. John (on moving forward):

  "Finding yourself almost always comes through action, and sometimes it's action alone... Journaling, writing it down, being very honest..." ([16:20])

Segment 2: “My Husband’s Time Blindness is Hurting Our Family”

[22:53 – 38:06]

Key Discussion Points

• Caller Blair’s Challenge:

  • Husband (a pastor) diagnosed with ADHD, chronically late for everything, impacting family life and professionalism.
  • Blair has taken on a “mother” role, trying to compensate and ensure punctuality.

• Dr. John’s Dual Perspective:

  • Admits his own lateness (“you’re describing my life”) to bridge understanding.
  • Describes the risk: wife becomes a manager rather than a partner.

    “Over time, you become more and more not his wife, but you become his mother. And what he needs desperately is his wife.” ([26:02])

  • Shares how his own wife stopped accommodating and focused on expressing how the lateness made her feel (“I feel embarrassed... dishonoring doctors by being late.”) ([27:35])
  • Encourages Blair to express deeper needs:

    "A way you can make me feel loved is not to be on time, but to be somewhere 15 minutes early. You make me feel loved and safe." ([31:31])

• Behavior and Boundaries:

  • Acknowledge behavior as a language, but also as a difference in internal priorities—her panic versus his indifference.
  • Suggests Blair consider her own needs, community, and support—not expecting her husband to fulfill all roles, challenging the “you complete me” cultural myth ([38:00]).

Memorable Moments

• Blair, on expectations:

  “I guess I was just taught that’s why we have a spouse, is to dump all that stuff on them.” ([38:06])

• Dr. John:

  “Tom Cruise lied to us: ‘You complete me.’ You have to have girlfriends, hobbies, support, and you gotta be open about the real depth of these things...” ([38:06])

Segment 3: “Supporting My Teenage Son Through His Girlfriend’s Pregnancy”

[41:07 – 57:52]

Key Discussion Points

• Caller Bill’s Situation:

  • Divorced, blended family; 16-year-old son’s girlfriend is pregnant.
  • Bill feels guilt, worry, and confusion about how to best support his son and the impending grandchild, while staying on a tight budget.

• Dr. John’s Direction:

  • Advocates leadership: bring all adults (ex-wife, current wife, girlfriend’s mother) together and state:

    “You will have no greater fans than the three of us. You will have no greater support network on the planet...” ([43:07])

  • Emphasizes immediate acceptance, love, and support before “life lessons,” comparing it to comforting a child after a shock ([44:11]).

• Ownership and First Principles:

  • Admonishes Bill not to own shame or believe he “failed” as a father:

    “You didn’t fail him. Would you have done anything to prevent this? Absolutely. But... there’s not a report card on being a dad...” ([47:27])

  • Focus on “first principles”—who the family wants to be and represent, rather than obsessing over unknowns.

    “You as the guy who’s got the machete, heading off into the woods now, it is coming back to: here’s who we’re going to be.” ([51:59])

• Parenting and Setting Boundaries:

  • Make boundaries clear: “PlayStation—bye, Felicia! You will not have time for video games... We’re not just going to abdicate our parenting.” ([53:12])
  • Reminds Bill that his son is still a child, and that’s okay ("I’m still your dad... I’m going to still be one step ahead of you as we’re both navigating this crazy new future." ([56:55]))

Notable Quotes

• Dr. John’s empowerment:

  "True courage and true bravery is walking back through the front door and sitting at the table across from somebody..." ([13:17])
  “I will love you till the end of time... Do not ever forget I love you till the end of time.” ([57:20])

• On being pioneers:

  “We’re pioneers in a strange way within our family.” ([51:29])

Segment 4: “Family Boundaries: Am I the Problem?”

[60:27 – 62:53]

Key Discussion Points

• Caller Clara’s Dilemma:

  • Mother-in-law wants all grandkids (two girls, two older boys) to sleep together at Christmas; Clara is uncomfortable with her toddler daughter sharing a room with older male cousins.
  • Mother-in-law insists Clara is “unreasonable” and hurting the “family dynamic.”

• Dr. John’s Firm Support:

  • Flat-out reassures Clara:

    “No, no and no. Your mother-in-law has a picture... that is not hers to make... Just because I won’t let my 3 year old daughter sleep in a room with a young teenage boy, that doesn’t mean I don’t trust that kid.” ([61:18])

  • Emphasizes parental responsibility over keeping peace at all costs.

Memorable Moment

• Dr. John:

  “If she wants to throw a temper tantrum because she’s not getting her way... then I’m gonna make alternative sleeping arrangements... but no, you are not the problem.” ([61:18])

Thematic Threads & Takeaways

• Ownership and Directness: Across all segments, Dr. John champions taking active ownership of one’s language, choices, and next steps—moving from victimhood to agency.
• Communication and Compassion: Whether in marriage or parenting, tough-love honesty paired with deep empathy is presented as the most constructive path.
• Redefining Relationships: “The marriage you had is over”—old roles, old visions may need to be scrapped in favor of conscious, mutual rebuilding.
• Support Networks Matter: In family crises, stepping up and mobilizing adult support systems is crucial for navigating the unknown.
• Boundaries = Love: From marriage to parenting to family traditions, holding firm to healthy boundaries is not only acceptable, it’s a crucial act of caring.

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “Good for you for not blowing off the handle... just sitting there for a minute and being wise...” — Dr. John ([01:53])
• “I want to take [‘I can’t’] off the table... say, ‘I’m choosing to not come back.’ That’s how you begin to regain autonomy.” — Dr. John ([05:43])
• “The marriage you had is over... Let's create a picture together...” — Dr. John ([07:20])
• “Over time, you become more and more not his wife, but you become his mother. And what he needs desperately is his wife.” — Dr. John ([26:02])
• “Tom Cruise lied to us: ‘You complete me.’” — Dr. John ([38:06])
• “You didn’t fail him. Would you have done anything to prevent this? Absolutely. But... there’s not a report card on being a dad...” — Dr. John ([47:27])
• “You will have no greater fans than the three of us.” — Dr. John ([43:07])
• “No, no and no. Your mother-in-law has a picture... that is not hers to make...” — Dr. John ([61:18])

For Listeners:
This episode offers vulnerable, practical insight for anyone wrestling with betrayal, family crisis, or the messiness of marriage and parenting. Dr. John’s insistence on self-honesty, courageous confrontation, and active support systems cuts through shame and confusion to empower the next right step—no matter how steep the road ahead.